Chapter 20: When the Blood Spills

When the sun finally rose, Ryder was barely conscious.

Based on the amount of blood he lost last night, I didn't think it was a good idea for him to go to sleep, as he could then end up passing out. I stayed up with him all night, trying to distract him from his awful wound. He was feeling dizzy and nauseous, so I just tried my best to give him water and comfort him. He got hurt a lot worse than I did in our confrontation with the Careers. He looks more exhausted and run down than I have ever seen him, and my heart aches for him. He could've died back there, I could have lost him there and then. I need to nurse him back to health so he can get through this.

We still haven't gone as far as we'd have liked to considering that we are in close proximity to the Career camp, but Ryder isn't well enough to stand and I'm usure if I'd have the strength to carry him. There isn't too much of a size difference between us in terms of height, but he weighs a lot more than me and I'm not very strong in the first place. For now, we are going to have to stay quiet but alert, since we don't know if they are planning to attack us because of Wheta's death. Out of nowhere, I hear Ryder suddenly groan in pain, and I see that he is still bleeding badly.

"It's going to get better, I promise," I say to him, holding his hand loosely so I don't hurt him.

I slowly begin to take the bandaging off that I had put on the wound last night so I can replace it. Blood is oozing out of it, he got slashed in the same place his other wound had been. The first one didn't have enough time to heal, so I'm sure this one is more painful for him. I reach into the medical kit we have in our bag and notice a needle and medical thread. It occurs to me that I may need to give him stitches since the bleeding hasn't stopped. Ryder sees me take out the needle and his eyes go wide with fear.

"This is gonna hurt, but please don't scream. I don't want the Careers to come back while you're so vulnerable," he nods, and I prepare to stitch him up.

As I continue to thread the needle in and out of his body, Ryder is stifling his screams of pain. I don't think I've ever seen him in this bad of a condition, not even on his first day at the field when I saw him passed out. Back then, I knew I could save him. Now, I'm not so sure, and it's really scary to think about that. I know I have to stay positive for him, I can't do my best work if I'm this frazzled and shaken up.

"You're so strong Ryder, there's just one more stitch. You're okay, you're gonna be okay," I finish off the last stitch and I can see a horrible mix of pain and relief in his eyes.

After carefully putting away the medical supplies, and making sure to save absolutely everythng I didn't use, Ryder begins to let out little whimpers that turn into tears. I lay down beside him, trying to calm and comfort him. My heart aches for him, but I know there are no other options for me to make this any better besides just being here for him.

"The worst of it is over, it's only going to get better from here. I know you're in pain but I'm here for you," I say, trying to wipe his tears away. Dust has dried on his face, leaving the streaks of tears more obvious. I've never seen him this broken, and I don't know how to help.

I take a moment to relax both myself and Ryder - we just breathe, and it's a calming feeling. In the Hunger Games, we haven't yet had a moment where we can just relax. Now is not that time, considering what Ryder's going through, but I know he's strong enough to get better. I feel in tune with the earth at this moment, like I'm a part of it.

But my heart absolutely drops when I realize that to the right of me there is a pool of blood.

"Oh my gosh!" I whipser-scream, horrified at the amount of blood he's lost. I was so focused on the stitching that I didn't even look below him, there's a miniature pool of blood.

"It's okay. Don't worry," Ryder tries to tell me. He looks extremely weak and closes his eyes, and I realized that he lost consiousness from losing too much blood. He's breathing fine, so I'm trying to tell myself he's just asleep, but I know deep down that he isn't with me right now. I'm hoping that the cause had something to do with dehydration rather than the wound, because now that we have water I can see if I can get something in him. If he's out because of the blood like I originally thought, that's a lot scarier because then there would be nothing more I could do to save him.

I take one of the bottles out of the small crate I was able to steal from the cornucopia. If I can get him to drink something, maybe it will make him come to. I try my best to sit him up against the backpack, but I still have to hold him since I don't want him to choke. I pour some water into the cap of the bottle because I don't want it to be to much for him. I try to make him drink but the water just comes drooling back out of his mouth. For now, I take a few sips of water as I try to hold in my tears. It's only a matter of seconds before all of my emotions come pouring out of me through my eyes.

What if that was the last time I'll ever get to speak to him?

Hi everybody! I know the world is going through a chaotic time right now and I hope everyone is doing okay. Writing brings me joy and I hope reading it brings you the same happiness!

Yours Truly,

CuriousClove :)