The Classified Materials Turbulence
"Smell that?" Sheldon inhaled deeply as he paused from where he was sifting through a row of comic books, the guys and Claire having joined him on a trek to the comic book store, "That's the smell of new comic books. Oh, yes!"
Claire laughed, spotting Stuart having just opened a box of new comic books behind Sheldon's back, and patted him on the arm before moving past the guys to the back. She hadn't been planning to join them on this trip, but Stuart had called to let her know he'd gotten a specific manga in that hadn't been there last time so she thought she might as well go and pick it up.
"They're on me today, boys," Howard offered, "And lady," he added, sending a wink to Claire, who rolled her eyes and began to peruse the manga section.
Raj quickly looked over, seeing Claire behind him, and let out a breath of relief, "You're paying?" he was able to ask, not needing to dig out his whiteboard from his messenger bag now that he couldn't see her as he turned back to Howard, "Have you been selling your sperm again?"
Howard grinned, "No, I'm celebrating. As we speak, the space shuttle is docking at the International Space Station where it will deploy the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System."
"Oh, get over yourself, it's a high-tech toilet," Raj rolled his eyes.
"Just think," Leonard joked, "Thanks to your hard work, an international crew of astronauts will boldly go where no man has gone before."
"Is that supposed to be funny?" Howard frowned at him.
"I believe it is," Sheldon remarked, absently moving over closer to the manga section and eyeing the books.
His and Claire's anniversary of their friendship would be coming up in a few months and he knew her fondness for manga and anime. He was actually thinking of taking a leaf out of Penny's book when it came to how she'd gotten her nephew a new comic book for a hero the boy hadn't known about before and ended up loving, as Penny had gushed to them that she was now 'the coolest aunt on the planet.' Claire had so much going on that he thought perhaps he might be able to research some other anime and manga and find one she might find interesting and gift it to her.
"The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb to go suggests that Leonard is humorously mocking your efforts in space plumbing," he continued.
Howard gave Leonard a foul look, "Ok, make your little jokes, but, of the four of us, I'm the only one making any real-world contribution to science and technology."
"He's right," Raj remarked, "This is an important achievement, for two reasons. Number one, and, of course, number two."
"Oh, clever!" Sheldon let out his breathy laugh, "Playing on the use of cardinal numbers as euphemisms for bodily functions."
"Shelly!" Claire called and the guys looked over to where Stuart was talking to her by the other side of the manga section, having brought the missing manga over to her, wanting to make sure no one accidentally bought it before she arrived, and held up a comic book for him, "Look what Stuart did for you," she offered him the comic book when he approached, "He pulled the new Hellboy!"
"It's mind-blowing," Stuart told him.
"Excuse me, spoiler alert," Sheldon frowned.
Which just served to make Stuart frown in return, "I didn't spoil anything..."
"You told him it was mind-blowing," Claire explained, "Now his expectations will be too high."
"Yes, and now my mind is going into it pre-blown," Sheldon added, "And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown."
"I'm sorry?" Stuart offered.
"Said the Grinch to Christmas," Sheldon muttered.
Stuart looked to Claire for help, she seemed normal and like someone familiar with Sheldon, but she could only give him an apologetic smile and a shrug. He nodded, understanding that that was it for now, nothing more he could do to help and plenty he could do to make it worse, so instead he turned to the other guys in the group.
"Uh, hey, Leonard," he began, "Can I talk to you about something?"
Leonard glanced at the rest of them before shrugging, "Oh, sure, what's up?"
Claire watched as Stuart led Leonard away and couldn't help but frown. Penny got a bit testy when she brought up her last date with Stuart a couple weeks ago. She knew Penny didn't think it had gone very well and, looking at Stuart's expression, the poor man didn't think so either. She really hoped he wasn't thinking about asking Penny out again, but given he was trying hard just to speak to Leonard…who had previously gone out with Penny, she was afraid it might be just that. She was gonna have to try and talk to that girl again if that's what it was. Penny hadn't said anything to her about any upcoming date.
"Shelly," Claire reached out to lightly grip Sheldon's elbow as he moved to interrupt the two talking, "Best wait till they're finished."
"But I have to get even," Sheldon frowned at her, "This is the newest Flash," he held up the comic book he'd happened across, "If Stuart hasn't read it, I can spoil it for him too."
"I understand," Claire nodded. She'd had a quid pro quo friendship with Sheldon for many, many years, and she knew he could get that way in negative situations too. When someone ruined something for him, he would do his best to ruin something for them, to keep things even. He wouldn't be put off this, "But they're having a private word, you can still spoil the Flash for him, just when he's done talking."
"Do I have to?" he nearly whined, really wanting to spoil it now while his own spoiling was so fresh.
"If you were in the middle of talking to your Meemaw, would you want someone to come up and disturb you?" she supplied. She knew she should try to dissuade him from 'spoiling' the Flash for Stuart, but she got the feeling the man did NOT take comic books as seriously as Sheldon did and he probably wouldn't really care. Sheldon would think he'd gotten his revenge and Stuart could go on with his day without Sheldon trying to ruin anything else or be in a tizzy over it.
He sighed, "No," he answered reluctantly, "Fine, I'll wait. But the moment they're done…"
"You'll have my full support," she shook her head at him, and moved over to the Hellblazer comic stand, picking up the second issue of it for Penny's nephew. Better to keep a steady stream of the comic coming so Penny could maintain her 'coolest aunt in the world' status as long as possible.
"Stuart!" Sheldon called, pulling her attention away to see that Stuart had finished his conversation and moved to the register, which was where Sheldon was trying to corner him. It was a lost cause to try and stop him right now, so she headed back over to where the other guys were standing, talking quietly…or at least they might have been talking quietly at one point.
Right now it looked like Howard and Raj were teasing Leonard about something that was clearly upsetting him.
"Everything alright?" she asked as she got closer.
"Yeah," Leonard cut in, sending a glare to Howard as the man opened his mouth to continue ribbing him, "Fine."
Claire could only frown, Leonard didn't sound fine at all.
~8~
"So what do medieval postal carriers wear?" Claire asked as she sat down at the Caltech cafeteria table where Sheldon and Leonard were, beaming.
"Claire, I'm sure you're aware, but the postal system didn't exist until…" Sheldon began.
"Shh, shh, shh," she cut him off gently, "It's a joke, it's not supposed to be historically accurate. I'm doing a new thing with my students, a point of extra credit to their final grade if they bring in a medieval-themed joke for the class. Now, what do medieval postal carriers wear?"
"I don't know, what?" Leonard asked, he could use a laugh right now. Even if it was likely to be a terrible joke.
"Chain mail!" she beamed, before laughing harder than the joke really called for. What could she say, she liked corny jokes.
Sheldon took a moment to review the joke and answer, before letting out a breathy laugh, both because he was contractually obligated to laugh and also...it was a little funny.
Leonard opened his mouth to comment, when his phone began to ring. He dug it out, took one look at the caller, and set it aside, "It's Stuart," he muttered.
"Everything ok, Leonard?" Claire asked, calming down at the sight of his dour expression.
Sheldon frowned, "You're not going to answer it?"
Leonard sighed, "He wants to talk about Penny. I don't want to talk about Penny."
"You're making an assumption," Sheldon pointed out, "Perhaps the comic book store is on fire and he needs your assistance."
"Shelly," Claire began carefully, "If the comic book store was on fire, logic would say Stuart would call the fire department first," she pointed out, "And if he was going to be calling any of his customers to let them know about some sort of event, I'd think he'd call you first, you're his biggest customer."
Sheldon considered it a moment, "True," he agreed, and went back to eating his meal.
"Thanks," Leonard gave her a smile for handling that.
"You two have a falling out or something?" Claire asked sympathetically.
Leonard sighed, "Not really, he just…he asked Penny out again and he wanted advice on how to make this date go better."
"I didn't know she was going on a date," Claire frowned, silently promising to talk to Penny when she finished her classes.
Leonard glanced down when the phone stopped ringing, "Good, it went to voice mail."
"Aren't you going to check your messages?" Sheldon looked up at that.
"No!"
Which seemed to disturb Sheldon deeply, "You have to check your messages, the leaving of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy!"
Leonard could only stare at him, "It must be hell inside your head."
"At times."
Claire shook her head, "He's just concerned, Leonard," he explained, "One time he didn't check his messages and it was his mama telling him she was gonna be late and he got all flustered and worried when she didn't show up on time. Now he makes sure to always check his messages."
Sheldon scoffed, "That was not the catalyst to my checking my messages. It was when your plane was delayed coming back to Texas for the holidays and I thought it had crashed. I had failed to check my messages to see that you had called to warn me about that."
"Really?" Claire asked, giving him a soft smile. She remembered that year. It was the one right before she moved out to California. Sheldon had been frantic by the time she'd gotten back home, had actually hugged her without prompting. He had only said he hadn't gotten her message, and she'd thought it was because the reception had been pretty bad at the airport or that the call had just failed to send or even that his battery had died. She hadn't known that it had been because he hadn't checked his messages.
Sheldon nodded, "I was ready to implement a mauve alert."
"Mauve?" Leonard asked as he gave them an odd look.
"Doctor Who fans everywhere would be ashamed of you right now, Leonard," Claire teased him.
"Oh!" his eyes widened, getting the reference, it was the universal color for danger in that show, which made him crack a smile…when Howard hurried over, a handful of papers clutched in his fists, Raj behind him, looking worried.
"Guys, we have a code red," Howard began, making an effort to keep his voice low.
"What's wrong?" Claire looked up at him.
But Sheldon held up a hand to quiet Howard's response, "Do you mean code red: the hospital emergency alert, code red: the computer worm, or code red: the cherry flavored soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?"
"Look," Howard sighed, shuffling with the papers in his hands, "I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve."
"How teeny tiny?" Leonard dreaded to ask.
"It's gonna fail after about ten flushes."
"Hold on, isn't the space mission for six months?" Claire frowned, recalling it, Howard had bragged about it more than once.
"Yeah, see, that's the code red. It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box, no one knows exactly when but, at some point, something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box."
"Ok," Claire nodded, getting the situation and standing, "This sounds like a science/mechanics problem. Best of luck!"
Leonard wished he had the excuse Claire did to escape as she was. Their background was on robot building and physics, math and science. THEY were more equipped to help Howard than Claire would be, even with her basic understanding of physics.
"Have you notified NASA?" Sheldon turned to Howard.
"No!" Howard nearly shouted, before dropping his voice to a whisper, "Are you crazy? What am I gonna say? I screwed up your toilet and pretty soon there's gonna be crap floating all over your nice shiny space station?"
"Well, what are you gonna do?" Leonard asked.
"I'm gonna figure out how to fix it, then I'll tell them."
"So, what do you need us for?"
"He can't figure out how to fix it," Raj explained.
"Hey, you said you were gonna be supportive," Howard accused.
"I'm trying, but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny."
"I agree," Sheldon remarked, "It's the juxtaposition of the high-tech nature of space exploration against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet that provides the comic fodder here," and then he turned to Leonard, "Check your messages."
~8~
Claire sighed as she sat on Penny's bed, one of her throw pillows in her arms, trying to talk to Penny as she worked on her makeup...for her date...with Stuart...tonight.
Penny had, apparently, taken some of her earlier words to heart and decided to just not tell her about the date so she couldn't comment on it. But now that the date was approaching, Penny seemed to regret that.
"Any advice?" Penny asked, looking at her through the reflection on the mirror.
Claire cracked a smile, "You're asking ME for dating advice?" she laughed, "Pen, you've had more suitors in the time we've lived together than I've had in my entire life. YOU'RE the dating guru around here, sugar."
"Not like that," Penny sighed, "I mean, any advice for dating a…you know…someone like Stuart?"
"Oh, someone like Stuart, I thought you were gonna ask about dating someone like Leonard, cos, you know, they're basically the same person…"
Penny groaned, "Please don't start this again," she nearly begged, "I just…the first date didn't go great…"
"Unlike with Leonard."
"But it's not his fault Sheldon blindsided him," Penny continued as though she hadn't spoken, "He deserves a second chance."
"Unlike with Leonard?" Claire asked, before sighing and getting up, moving over to Penny's vanity, resting against the corner of it to look at Penny, "Pen…have you considered this really IS about Leonard? I know you don't want to talk about it, but maybe this is your way of making up for not giving Leonard a second date?"
"That's ridiculous," Penny stated, turning to put some lip gloss on.
"Is it?" Claire nudged her leg carefully so as not to cause her to mess up her makeup, "You've been going up and down with your feelings for Leonard for a while and now you've got a guy who's a lot like him and you're going on a second date even though you're not really that into him."
"You don't know whether I'm into him or not."
"HOW long was it between dates?"
"That doesn't mean anything."
"I've seen you Pen, when you like someone you go for it, you're not someone to just wait when your interest is piqued. You didn't go after Stuart after that date, you hardly mentioned him, unlike when you kept going back to talking about Leonard. Hell, you only accepted a second date when he asked you."
"Leonard could have asked me too!"
"He did," Claire reminded her, watching sadly as Penny deflated, remembering that, remembering he HAD asked and she'd turned him down, "Regret is a mighty powerful thing, Pen."
"Ok, well, whether this is about Leonard or not, or whether I regret turning him down or not, right now I'm about to go on a date with Stuart and I'd really like some advice about how to make him feel more comfortable around me. I asked…" she cut herself off.
"Oh, Pen, tell me you didn't ask Leonard for advice too," Claire sighed.
"I…might have."
Claire shook her head, not going to get into how painful that had to have been for Leonard to go through, especially when Stuart had done the same thing. Penny, for her part, at least seemed to realize what she'd done and how it had to have hurt Leonard, given how guilty she was looking right now.
"Please?" Penny asked, turning to her, her hands clasped before her.
Claire fought it for a moment, before giving in, never one to not help someone else. But…just because she knew how to handle guys like Stuart and Leonard and Sheldon didn't mean she knew everything. And most of her experience laid with Sheldon and…
That was brilliant.
Penny asked for advice on how to deal with 'guys like Stuart,' but the only guy she really knew how to deal with was Sheldon so Penny really should know that any advice she gave would be more for that.
Alright, guys like Sheldon it is.
"Keep your hands to yourself," she began, "Some guys aren't comfortable with it, especially if they got picked on as kids or bullied. And don't move too fast," she added, "Because I'd be willing to bet that some guys like that have experience with pretty girls using them, like Alicia, or worse, playing them and then mocking them behind their back."
"Really?" Penny frowned at that last part, trying to think if she'd ever done anything so cruel when she'd been younger.
Claire nodded, "Eye contact too, might be a little much, so focus on something else, the scenery, their nose, something else. Also don't be too flirty. Because sometimes it may go right over their head…like inviting someone in for coffee when it's supposed to be a euphemism for sex," she gave Penny a pointed look for that last one.
"Right," Penny nodded, having worked that part out.
"Be blunt and honest and when you're not interested or want to do something else, say it."
"Ok," Penny tried to process all of it, "I think I got it."
"You know Penny, being honest also means that, if you'd rather be there with Leonard, you should let Stuart know it's not going to work."
"Claire!" Penny whined, "We were doing so well."
"I'm sorry," Claire rubbed her head, "But Leonard has become a good friend and I just don't want him to get hurt in all this."
"Yeah, because me giving him a chance last time didn't hurt him in the end," Penny pointed out, starting to get a little annoyed with Claire's needling.
She knew it, all of it, everything that Claire was saying she already knew…and worked damn hard not to actively think about from the time Stuart asked her on a second date till now. Would she rather date Leonard than Stuart? Yes. Did she regret not taking him up on his second date? Yes. Was Stuart like a stand-in for Leonard? Probably, yes. Was someone inevitably going to get hurt because of her messed up feelings? Yes! She knew it, she got it, she didn't need Claire to point it out at every turn and not let it go.
"Cos you weren't being honest with him either," Claire reminded her, "You like him, Pen, I know you do. And he adores you. If you gave him another chance, if you just told him how you felt…"
"What like you?" Penny challenged, standing up, "I don't see you running up to Sheldon and telling him you're in love with him."
Claire stepped back as though she'd been slapped. Penny had made comments about her feelings for Sheldon for a while now, but never like this, never throwing it back at her in anger. She had to look away a moment, realizing she may have poked Penny too much just now about how she felt for Leonard.
"That ain't the same," Claire cleared her throat.
"How's it different?" Penny demanded, snatching up her sweater and leaving the room, knowing Stuart would be there any moment.
"Leonard's in love with you too," Claire spoke, a little too quietly, making Penny pause and turn to face the redhead.
A part of Penny's anger fizzled out as she saw the expression on Claire's face. She looked exactly like SHE had felt when Leonard began dating that Stephanie girl. But a little worse for the wear. With Leonard, at least she knew he had feelings for her, an interest in her at the very least, and it was more her own jealousy and fear that she'd lost the chance to get Leonard back.
For Claire…she didn't know how Sheldon felt, and that was a little worse. Because Claire had more to lose by blurting out her feelings. They didn't know how Sheldon would react to that, whether he'd ignore it, turn her down, or even go so far as to refuse to be her friend any longer.
Penny didn't think there was any universe where Sheldon would stop being Claire's friend, but Claire could lose the friendship she'd spent more than 20 years building…and for what? Feelings they really couldn't be sure Sheldon even had? SHE could be reasonably sure he felt something for Claire, but who knew what went on in the mind of Sheldon Cooper for real?
"Look, I'm late for my date," Penny began, feeling bad now, "We'll talk when I get back, ok?"
Claire nodded, trying to offer her a smile that just made Penny feel worse, "Have fun."
Penny nodded, not sure she could do that last one now, but stepping out of the apartment anyway.
~8~
Claire looked up from where she was sitting on the couch of her apartment, Penny curled up beside her, the blonde nearly snuggling against her in her bathrobe. She hadn't asked what happened, Penny had just come home and gone straight for her room, without Stuart this time. She'd debated knocking on the door to see if she was ok before thinking better of it, she didn't want to keep pushing or poking, it was best to let Penny come to her. She hadn't slept well, worrying for the girl, worrying for Stuart and Leonard too, but come morning, with a fresh pot of coffee made…which, admittedly, was so poorly made it might as well have just been water with brown food coloring in it...Penny emerged.
Penny took the offered cup, sipped it, and went to sit on the couch without a word, which didn't take anyone with the genius the guys had to know she was upset.
She'd just said, 'Oh, Pen,' and moved to sit beside her so she could talk about it all, opening one of her arms for the girl to rest her head on her shoulder, offering comfort.
Penny had only just finished recounting the date now.
"I'll get it," she told Penny, getting up and heading for the door. She cracked it open slightly to see Leonard on the other side and slid out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
"Hey, Leonard," Claire greeted quietly.
Leonard moved like he wanted to look over her shoulder, but the door was shut anyway, so he sighed, "Morning."
"How'd fixing Howard's intergalactic porta-potty go?" she tried to make light of the situation.
Leonard could only shake his head, "We had to pull an all-nighter," he told her, "I'm not even sure what we came up with will work."
"Time will tell, I guess."
"Listen, I was gonna make a coffee run. Do you guys want any?"
Claire glanced back at the door, while the coffee she'd made was abysmal, she doubted Penny would appreciate any actual mention of coffee after what she'd said to the girl last night about Stuart and the decaf coffee fiasco, that and being confronted with Leonard wouldn't help matters either, "No, no, we're fine, thanks, sugar."
Leonard nodded and turned to go, only making it three steps (which was two more than Claire thought he would) before turning back, "Hey, um, Claire…do you happen to know how it went with Stuart and Penny last night?"
"It ain't my place to say," was all she could offer.
"Right, of course," he nodded, turning to actually go this time.
Claire sighed and went back into the apartment, "It was Leonard," she told Penny as she moved back to the couch. Penny had moved slightly, sitting with her legs curled up, her coffee cup resting on her knees, "I didn't tell him anything."
"Good," Penny nodded, her face starting to flame with embarrassment as she recalled how Leonard had factored into her date with Stuart, "Thanks."
"No problem, sugar," Claire offered her a smile, turning to face her more.
Nothing else really had to be said, there was nothing she could or would try to pry from Penny about it all. What Penny had already told her was enough. She and Stuart had had a nice time, taken things slow…or at least slower than Penny was used to. But it had been awkward enough for them to down two bottles of wine between the two of them and once that happened all thoughts of going slow or keeping a distance were gone. Penny had said she and Stuart had kissed, made out in his car even…but that, somewhere in the middle of it, she'd called him by the wrong name.
Or the right name, depending how one looked at it.
Wrong for Stuart in the fact that he was not Leonard.
She'd said Leonard's name in the middle of the intimate moment and she was horrified and embarrassed and she felt so guilty. Because she HAD been thinking about Leonard, and now Stuart knew it too. She felt like she'd hurt him by doing that, you weren't supposed to be thinking of other people while on a date with someone, but Stuart got the brunt of it, of seeing he wasn't who Penny wanted despite it being their second date. Stuart had been a sweetheart, at least that was one good thing, he hadn't made it awkward (or more awkward than it already was) or gotten angry with her. He'd driven her home like a gentleman, escorted her to her door, and gave her a hug, with an understanding smile that spoke of no more future dates to come.
"I'm sorry," Penny murmured after a moment of silence, "For how I acted yesterday. I was out of line to bring up your feelings for Sheldon like that. I know it's complicated, way more than me and Leonard."
"Thanks," Claire sighed, "And I'm sorry too," she offered, "You'd think with Shelly as a best friend I'd know when to stop poking at someone. I've seen people do that to him and it's never right, and then I went and did the same to you. I'm your friend, but that don't give me the right to tell you what to do or how to feel about people."
"Thanks," Penny tried to smile a bit, "So…are we ok?"
Claire nodded, "I haven't sworn off Shelly yet, don't go thinking one little tiff is gonna drive me off."
Penny's smile was genuine this time, relieved. She'd never really had a friend that didn't just drop her when she got to be too much or brought in too much drama. It was really nice to know someone was going to stick around this time. She didn't doubt things would be a little tense for a while, they both really got to each other yesterday, but the fact that Claire was still there, that SHE was still there, and that they both wanted to keep being friends? Well, that told her that they really would be ok.
~8~
It was a more solemn affair when everyone gathered around the guys' apartment later. The guys were tired, Howard was worried, and both Claire and Penny were a little quieter than normal. They had both pushed each other a little too much over the Stuart situation and they just needed a little while to get back to normal and get past it.
"Yes, sir," Howard spoke as he paced around, his cell phone pressed to his ear, "I understand, classified. We'll keep it all classified, no one has to know but you and me."
"What's classified?" Penny asked the others.
"Howard's space toilet," Leonard sighed, "I'll tell you later."
"It did the opposite of remove the waste," Claire told her.
"Ew…" Penny grimaced, but kept eating. She'd seen and heard worse things growing up with her family and her brother. She was hungry. After her date with Stuart she hadn't been very hungry, but after talking with Claire she was feeling a little better, enough to recover her appetite.
"Well, they've deployed our solution," Howard huffed, moving to pick up his food and plop down on the only empty chair set up, ending the call, "Let's just all hope it works."
"I don't see why I have to worry," Sheldon remarked, "My career's not hanging in the balance," he looked around when everyone just stared at him, "That was a joke," he elaborated, "It's funny, because it's true."
He turned to Claire who gave him a little laugh, contractually obligated to laugh at his jokes, and it wasn't like she could really say he was being too rude when Howard was in trouble from his own mistake. He smiled, pleased.
"Leonard, could you pass the soy sauce, please?" Penny asked.
"I'm sorry," Leonard looked over, "Were you talking to me?"
"Yeah, I said Leonard."
"Yes, you did, didn't you?" he grinned smugly, until Claire flicked a pea at him from her food. He looked over to her to see her giving him a narrow-eyed, suspicious look. He winced and mouthed 'sorry' to her. It was clear to him that Claire knew that he knew what happened on Penny's date too, though she probably heard it from Penny while he had gotten it from Stuart himself. Penny, thankfully, hadn't seemed to make anything of his remark, but Claire had.
"What the hell is that?" Penny gaped, pulling their attention to something brown that was stuck out of the ceiling.
"Meatloaf," Howard answered.
"…do we want to know why it's on the ceiling?" Claire asked, hesitant.
Howard looked up at the meatloaf and then to the girls, giving the only answer he could, "…that's classified."
Claire frowned up at it and then turned to Howard, "Testing your space toilet?" she guessed.
Howard's lips pursed, "That's classified."
Claire nodded and turned to whisper, loudly, to Penny, "He was testing his space toilet."
A/N: I'm sorry this was late, I'm having a...really hard time right now. This may venture into ramble territory, it will talk about the virus, and it may be something people don't agree with, so if it's not your cup of tea, I understand if you don't want to see it. I also apologize in advance as there's no talk of the chapter or reviews here, but I just need to get it off my chest and explain why this chapter, and maybe the next few might not be up to par.
In my state there are executive orders that forbid indoor dining, kept in place because studies and research on other surging states found that the coronavirus spreads faster in areas like restaurants and bars, as we all know. Confined spaces, not being able to wear a mask due to eating, usually talking or laughing with people you sit with, with recycled air, not a good mix. Our governor put a pause on reopening, because our numbers had begun to go up (thankfully went down again) and it wasn't safe, from the department of health's view, to continue into indoor dining until they were sure the numbers were stabilizing. I found out that a place my family occasionally would eat at before all this was violating this order, because other family members were there eating indoors. They were in violation of the order and we're told constantly, if you see something say something, so I submitted my first and only report, about the restaurant. An anonymous report, online, in 2 sentences, and my family found out.
Now, my mother is demanding I get out of the house. My brother is going on a tirade against me about how I've ruined the business and how dare I shut them down (the violation punishment is literally a fine, not a shut down). My sister is using my efforts to improve my mental health against me, and she has a degree in psychology so you'd think she wouldn't use someone's mental health as a weapon against them. And my father's giving me the silent treatment.
Over a restaurant that will only be fined IF an investigation even happens.
I'm being made abundantly aware that, within my own family, I rank below a restaurant run by strangers. A restaurant that has been doing fine with takeout and delivery (since that was a main staple of their business before) and, in my honest opinion, would not be risking a violation if they didn't think they could pay the fine.
I understand if people disagree with what I've done, I am 1 person out of 9 million and I doubt my voice would be heard at all, but the level of reaction from my family seems a little extreme to me. To try and kick your child out of the house over it? Especially when I could have been in a place to move out years ago had they not taken nearly every cent of my salary? :/ When my only concern was them and their immuno-compromised systems not dying of a virus? Their jobs are dangerous enough already without adding this to it, and they aren't the first family to eat there and won't be the last and all it takes is one person.
So I'm not doing very well right now. This only happened a couple hours ago and I now literally have no one within my family to talk to or who would support me or have my back, despite all the times I've had theirs. I mean, I work as mediator to keep my brother getting kicked out 4 times, he's silent now when it happens to me. I support my sister in her standing up to our parents about getting their finances in shape and help her do it, no support now. I've loaned my parents near 50k, I've been caregiver through each of them having cancer (and took care of my siblings when my mom went through it because they were too young to care for themselves fully), I have an anxiety induced cry every day they are at work for fear of them dying of the coronavirus, no sympathy now when they literally CHOSE to put their lives in danger just to eat ribs at the restaurant instead of taking them home. Their jobs are 'essential' and literally frontline for my mother, they have no choice in being exposed to dangerous situations, and then they go and choose to eat in when a restaurant gives them the opportunity to when it's against the order.
I don't want them or others to die and yet I'm now the worst villain ever to them, I don't want the restaurant to get shut down permanently if, god forbid, people get the virus after eating in.
My mom will call the cops because a store in the strip-mall behind our house is breaking a noise ordinance, which results in a fine. But I submit one single anonymous report online, which would result in a fine if it's investigated, and I've gone too far? :/ The only report I have ever made since this whole thing began.
I feel like I'm literally having a breakdown over how they're treating me, over a restaurant we used to go to maybe twice a year. I expect it from my brother, he's very pro-someone and thinks our governor has ruined our state, even though we're one of the few with lowering numbers of positives and on the right track to reopening safely. If you think I'm joking about him, I made ONE comment back in 2016 that set him off on me so badly it was what drove me to finally sign up for therapy :/ I expected my parents and sister to just be like 'that was stupid' and not attack me over it all, not kick me out of the house over it. My dad has talked her out of that threat, I now have to the end of the month to get out :/
I tried to use the chapter as a distraction, it didn't work, so I apologize if there are any errors I missed editing it one last time. When I'm in a better head space I'll go back and redo it.
I don't really have much to say on the chapter right now and, if it's ok, I'm going to skip notes on reviews this time too. Hopefully next chapter I'll have picked up some pieces or worked out what to do and can get to it then.
Sorry :(