"Ochako-chan?" Mina asked, knocking on her door back at the dorms.
She opened it without receiving a response and a yellow pillar of light peeked into Ochako's room for the first time in hours, making everything in it barely visible although she preferred it to be pitch black.
She still didn't respond despite being awake and hearing just fine. She was just curled up on her bed, hugging a pillow, replaying her last disastrous exchange with Deku and Katsuki over and over and wishing she'd done things differently a thousand times over.
They would lose their licenses…
It was the last thing she ever wanted and could hardly even imagine a world without Deku or Katsuki as heroes in it. It wasn't possible. A world like that had no right to exist.
Not for the first time she wondered if she could convince Principal Nezu and anyone else who helped make this decision, that she should be the one to lose her license. She was more than happy to lose it in their stead. The world could live without Uravity.
She'd also wondered if they were back in their rooms yet or if they would even get the chance to come back.
Part of her hoped they were so she could go to each of them individually and prostrate herself on the floor in front of them, begging them for forgiveness. It had all gone so wrong, it was the least she could do.
Another, more selfish, part of her hoped they weren't back yet and wouldn't come back to the dorms. She didn't want to have to face them. She didn't want to see the blame and regret in their eyes, especially Katsuki's.
"Ochako-chan, I'm turning on your desk light if that's okay," Mina said gently, "I can hardly see in here."
Her lamp turned on, casting a warm, diffused light about the room.
"There we go," she said jovially and Ochako felt her bed dip slightly as Mina came to sit next to her.
"Ochako-chan," she began, "I'm sorry I was so judgmental toward you during the exam. I was so blindsided finding out about you and Bakugo having history and then, the next thing I know, I'm seeing you two cuddling up to each other and on first name basis and I hadn't heard anything about you and Midoriya breaking up so it just looked so bad to me. I should've had more faith in my friend, I realized, when all that went down in the parking lot. But I do wish you'd told me more. I wish I could've been there for you. Any of the girls in the class would. We know both of those boys fairly well too. We could've helped you."
Ochako took all of her words in and rolled to face her pink-skinned friend, tears still glistening in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Mina-chan," she croaked, her voice cracking from disuse and constant crying, "I wanted to talk to you and tell you all about everything after New Year's but I was afraid of you judging me for having anything more than a partnership with Katsuki or the fact that I struggled choosing between him and Deku, especially after how things were between us first term. I thought you might think I was dumb for considering anyone who wasn't Deku."
"Yeah but Bakugo isn't the same as he was first term," Mina considered, "When you guys came back from summer break and were all friendly and work partners, you both acted really differently with each other. If it had been any other girl, I would've told them that Bakugo is a horrible choice. But, before winter break, most of us agreed- even Kirishima and Kaminari- that you two looked really good together, although we figured you guys didn't really notice it. You know how to handle him being a complete grump and his anger doesn't scare you. He pushes you and has helped make you way stronger. I actually thought you guys might start dating eventually cuz there was just a whole lot of chemistry going on there, everyone could tell. So I think a lot of us were really shocked that you came back from winter break on Midoriya's arm. It was weird, especially when Bakugo was giving you the cold shoulder and both of you looked pretty sad around each other."
Ochako felt ashamed for how she'd assumed Mina and the other girls would respond to her plight. They had seen something special between them too. She should've trusted them more. If she had, she might've realized her feelings sooner and she might've gotten out of this with far less pain to everyone involved.
"It might not change the situation with them now," Mina pressed on, "but, if you want, I'd be happy to hear what's been going on from the beginning."
Ochako nodded, feeling slightly comforted by the support she was receiving from her friend.
"You might as well get the rest of the girls in here too so I don't have to tell it again," she offered with a small smile.
"Oh! Good idea," Mina grinned at her, "Wait here. I'll be right back!" And she ran out the door without another word.
—
15 minutes later, all of the girls, and a few of the boys (including Kirishima and Iida) were crowded in Ochako's room sitting on the floor for her "story time."
They all looked expectant and interested, not at all judgemental. They just wanted to know the truth behind what had happened earlier that day. They cared about their friends and classmates.
So she told them the story as best as she could. About the sports festival, about the summer with Nate and working the rest of the internship, about coming back to school and deciding to work together still. She told them how, yes, Katsuki had been the Kamui Woods at the party (causing everyone who hadn't already known to gasp loudly) and how she'd accepted being physically attracted to each other after that. She talked a little bit about their partnership and training together and how most of the pros who had worked with them wanted them to stay a team, even after they graduated.
Then she had to talk about winter break. How she'd gone out with Deku on Christmas Eve, how Katsuki had come to her house on her birthday, and worst of all, what happened between them on New Years. She still refused to tell them anything more than the bare minimum with that night, though. It had been such a deeply personal moment that even if she thought Katsuki would want anyone else to know the things he said and did, she didn't want anyone else to know. Those moments were for her and for him. Other people didn't need to know what they had shared and how deeply it had hurt.
So she just grazed over it by saying he confessed and she'd turned him down because she'd already agreed to go out with Deku.
She then briefly recounted what had happened these past few months with Katsuki leaving her work study and generally being cold and Deku comforting her about it. She told them how she realized that she really had been in love with Katsuki and what a mistake she realized she'd made and having decided to stay with Deku not to hurt him, then finally about how it had all exploded at the hero exams.
By the end of the story, Mina and a few other girls sat teary-eyed. Kirishima and Iida stared like they'd been struck.
"Ochako-chan," Tsuyu regarded her with a sympathetic and kind expression, "You could have told us. We wouldn't have thought less of you."
Ochako squeezed her eyes shut and nodded, trying to keep her tears back, already feeling a lump in her throat.
"If I'm gonna be honest, Uraraka-chan, even without knowing he had been Kamui Woods, I kinda thought you guys were good for each other," Kirishima admitted, "You started arguing back at him at the beginning of this year and Bakugo acted like it pissed him off but he liked to bother you more than anyone all of a sudden and when he walked away from your fights, he was never actually fuming like he usually is with most other people he doesn't like. He didn't hate that you beat him in that exercise. He was scary after he carried you back to Recovery Girl during the sports festival. He had like a whole new energy to him that fueled him to win. And he seemed happier than I'd ever seen him when you guys stopped fighting so much second term and started working together. That was when a few of us talked about it and thought you guys might be good together." Mina nodded at this. "But after winter break, things were so cold with you two and he was pissed pretty much 24/7 and after you showed up on the balcony to fight with him and he didn't want to talk to you, I kinda realized that something had already been going on with you guys and it had blown up when you got with Midoriya. It sucked but I didn't know what I could do. It's not like I don't like Midoriya, everyone here likes him." Everyone in the room nodded. "And in first or maybe some of second year I would've said you guys were a perfect couple but now… and after seeing you guys actually trying to be together… it just seemed weird. It sucks that things happened the way they did."
It was nice to hear from Katsuki's friend's point of view, and also kinda surprising. Deku had brought up once how he had behaved after she'd been hurt at the sports festival but she'd overlooked it because she'd been so upset by him dropping out then the things he'd told her after. She hadn't even thought about it after that. Now, putting the pieces together, it was impossible not to see Katsuki's feelings for her had been there all along and she'd just not wanted to see it until he had forced her to.
"Well the silver lining to all of this is that you did end up breaking up with Midoriya and Bakugo knows how you feel now so… you can just be together right?" Kyoka announced.
Ochako considered what she said. She'd been so torn up about them possibly losing their licenses that she hadn't even realized that she had finally succeeded in doing what she had meant to. She could actually be with Katsuki now! The only problem was how could she even face him with all that he was going through because of her? Would he even think it was worth it anymore?
"I guess," she answered, "I'd want to be with him no matter what but… if his license gets taken, I don't think he'll be up for anything anymore…"
They all looked down, considering her words. They likely all agreed and understood. It was hard not to. They all had worked so hard to get to this point, Deku and Katsuki most of all. For it to be torn from any of them would've been devastating. For it to be taken from Katsuki or Deku was unfathomable.
"Thank you for telling us what's been going on, Ochako-chan," Mina told her thoughtfully, "I know it's been hard for you. We'll do anything we can to help you out if you need it from now on. Even if it's something little, don't hesitate to ask."
She nodded but couldn't help but think that how hard it had been for her was nothing next to Katsuki. He deserved so much better from the start.
"It's about dinner time, who wants curry?!" Toru yelled.
The rest of them shouted back excitedly.
Later that night, Ochako finally built up her courage to try and make a visit to Katsuki despite her apprehension at how angry or regretful he might be. She wanted to see him. She wanted to comfort him and tell him she would do everything she could to make things right.
So she made her little journey off of her balcony, around the dorm building and floated up to his balcony.
She heaved a sigh of relief to find his curtains open and peeked into his room. But it was empty. He wasn't at his desk or in his bed or anywhere else. The room was dark.
He nor Deku had been at dinner but she thought it might be possible they were just hiding up in their rooms. She could understand them not wanting to have to confront their classmates right now.
But no, they hadn't been there because they hadn't come back.
Ochako lept from the balcony to go back to her room.
Her sleep was anything but restful.
The next morning was the start of graduation day. It was supposed to be an exciting time but Ochako felt anything but. Her mood was still incredibly somber despite being able to talk to her friends about what was going on finally.
She showered and dressed in her uniform to go down to breakfast. They would be moving all of their items out of their dorms before the ceremony. That way, all they had to do was leave after they received their diplomas and, in the case of the hero course, their hero license.
Katsuki and Deku still weren't back and Ochako knew it was not a good sign.
As she was about to head back up to begin packing, a call came in requesting her presence at the principal's office and a well of dread began to fill in her stomach.
Her friends stopped what they were doing to give her encouragement or offer hugs.
"It's okay, Ochako-chan," Mina comforted her, "you might be able to do something to help them now, just like you wanted! Go get em!"
Feeling only marginally more encouraged, she offered her thanks and made her way out the door to the school building and toward the principal's office.
"You wanted me, sir?" Ochako asked, poking her head into the room when she arrived.
"Uraraka-chan, please come in," Principal Nezu told her and she opened the door the rest of the way, taking a few unsure steps in and shutting it.
Her eyes went immediately to the blonde boy sitting with his back to her in front of Principal Nezu's desk. Both he and Deku were seated rigidly in rather uncomfortable looking plastic chairs. They were both changed out of their costumes at least but neither looked like they were doing well, even from the back.
To the sides of the room stood Aizawa-sensei, All Might, Endeavor, and a handful of other official looking men and women she assumed were important figures to help decide the outcome of this meeting. She was slightly relieved to find that, at the very least, their parents weren't there. She couldn't imagine that Mrs. Bakugo nor Ms. Midoriya would be very pleased with their sons, or even with her for that matter.
Neither Katsuki or Deku looked her way as she walked between them, approaching the desk and stopping a couple feet in front of it. There was no chair set out for her so she remained standing.
"Uraraka-chan, your name has been brought up a few times as being involved in this incident," Nezu prompted, "It seems you have a tale to tell in all this."
Ochako's cheeks reddened and she lowered her gaze, "I- I guess you could say that…"
"Would you like to tell us what happened after the exam?" he inquired, trying to push her to speak.
"I- Well…" she looked around for help. She wished so badly to be able to turn and gain some confidence from seeing Katsuki's face but she knew looking at either boy would not be the right choice.
Her eyes instead landed on Aizawa-sensei, who had been the one to stop her from stepping in and likely knew much of what was going on. He did not lack observation skills, afterall.
He gave her a nod of encouragement, lifting his brows slightly to show about as much support as she was likely to see.
"Well, I don't know exactly what I should be telling you," she admitted.
"Just tell what happened from your point of view," Aizawa told her.
"Okay…" she looked around the room again.
Suddenly, this whole situation between her and Deku and Katsuki seemed so foolish, like a child's drama played out before the eyes of grown-ups. She suddenly felt extremely self-conscious telling her story.
"I had been dating um… Midoriya-kun for a few months and I.. made the dumb decision, looking back on it now, to tell him I wanted to break up with him. That I wanted to be with- ah... Bakugo-kun. In front of everyone."
She refused to look at anyone anymore and just kept her eyes on the desk, trying not to see anything. Why did she have to say this in front of a bunch of heroes?
"Midoriya, understandably, didn't take it well and he and Ka- um- Bakugo started arguing and then they started fighting. So… I guess you could say this is all my fault. If I'd handled everything better and been able to tell Midoriya sooner or in private or something, this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry for my part in this."
Someone sighed heavily to her right. She looked over to see Endeavor rubbing his forehead, "So you're telling me this is all over some kind of high school lover's quarrel?"
Ochako's knees weakened slightly and her cheeks burned, "I-I guess you could say that…"
"Is it really a good idea to be handing a hero license to students graduating who would endanger the lives of others over who gets to be who's boyfriend?" one of the men she didn't recognize questioned, directing it at Principal Nezu.
"We've all been known to make errors in judgement due to high emotional state," one of the women piped up, "We also gain a lot of strength in times of great need due to emotion as well."
"But they attacked each other!" the unfamiliar man said again, "They weren't fighting a villain or valuing a loved one over other civilians, they were just fighting over a girl!"
Ochako ducked her head and hoped beyond hope that no one was looking at her at that moment.
"These two have worked for me for the past three months and quite a few months in years previous," Endeavor cut in, "They've shown nothing but complete professionalism. I'm not willing to just write them off over a one-time mistake."
"As far as I've seen, both of these young men have a great passion for being heroes," All Might added, "They have accomplished things during their school days that many pro heroes have never done. They are already very well known as up and coming heroes in the public eye."
"I think you might have a bit of bias there, All Might, seeing as one of these boys is your protege you've taken under your wing and the other is one you have a familiar relationship with as well, am I right?" another lady asked him pointedly.
"That doesn't change what I know and have personally witnessed them achieve," he countered.
"Isn't this girl partners with Bakugo-kun?" the first lady inquired out of the blue.
Ochako looked over to her and realized suddenly that she had met her at the Christmas party her parents had taken her to, she'd been one of the people who had urged her to make a professional team with him. She'd never told her she worked to provide licenses to heroes, though.
"It is!" she said excitedly, "Uravity! You and Bakugo work so well together! It would be so awful to deprive the world of heroes like Uravity and Bakugo. Deku too! They're some of the most promising heroes in the country!"
"But the rules are the rules," Principal Nezu answered her and Ochako felt a stab of betrayal at him speaking against them, "Can we make an exception for these students just because of their potential and public favor?"
"Please," Ochako spoke up, her fists shaking as she met each and every person's eye, "It's my fault. I handled this wrong and I didn't stop them before it came to blows when I knew I could. I should've been more considerate to everyone involved and I- I would be more than happy to take full responsibility and give up my own license to keep them from losing theirs. I wouldn't be able to stand it if they couldn't be heroes. If there was anything I knew Bakugo OR Midoriya wanted in their entire lives, it's to be a hero."
She felt a tear she hadn't known she'd been holding back roll down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
"Please. Both of them have told me countless times how much this means to them. Midoriya didn't want to be with anyone out of fear that he'd put that ahead of his studies for even a second. Bakugo told me personally that no matter what happened in his personal life, he wasn't going to let that affect everything he's worked for to be a hero. So neither of them wanted this. This is my fault for forcing them into this confrontation. So please blame me and punish me."
Her fists gripped her skirt as she tried to still her shaking nerves and she fought with all of her willpower to keep her head up and her face as determined as possible.
She had her back turned to the desk now to face the handful of people in professional attire and saw from the corners of her eyes that both Deku and Katsuki were watching her but she didn't dare to glance at either to determine what the expressions on their faces were.
Every adult was looking at her with surprise, and a few with sympathy.
"You can kinda see what they thought was worth fighting over now," Endeavor muttered and Ochako's cheeks warmed once again.
"Uraraka," Aizawa called to her and she spun to meet his gaze again, "What you're saying is commendable and it may even be true but you didn't compel these two to fight. You didn't force them or threaten them or even ask them. They both made that choice on their own. Either was capable of walking away and neither did. If I recall correctly, you were about to try and physically stop them before I held you back from it."
Ochako nodded.
"Could she have even done that?" Endeavor asked with mild amusement.
She shrugged, unsure. She would've tried at least.
"Yes, she could've," Aizawa answered with irritation, "but the last thing we needed was for another student to get involved."
"I think we've heard enough. We should deliberate on this now. Graduation is only a few hours away, afterall," Principal Nezu reminded them.
He turned to Ochako, "Thank you for telling us your side, Uraraka-chan. You may go back to getting ready for graduation now."
She was dismissed.
Ochako nodded her understanding and bowed, turning to walk out. She finally let herself sneak a glimpse at Katsuki but he was looking away from her, his face a jumble of emotions she was oddly unable to translate. He looked so tired, though. They'd barely gotten any sleep the night before last. Had he gotten any since then?
She wished so badly she could reach out and touch him. They were so close. But it just wasn't possible.
Passing out of the room and closing the door behind her, she heard the conversation start up again but didn't stick around to hear what was being said.
Ochako pulled her suitcase out of her closet that she'd begun the school year by rolling onto campus stuffed with dresses. Now she was going to have to figure out how to stuff almost twice as much with how many outfits her mom sent her back with.
She figured this out by also stuffing her duffel bag and her backpack full, then giving any remaining to Mina and Toru who were more than happy to take some dresses home.
She packed up the few personal items she had around her room, like her fan and her books.
Then, simple as that, she was done. She met with her parents an hour before the ceremony to help them put her things in the car. They'd driven all the way here to come pick her and her belongings up and, of course, were pleased to see her.
"I can't wait to hear all about how this term went for you and your exams and everything in between," her mom chirped excitedly.
Then her face soured a bit, "But I am kind of disappointed not to be seeing Deku-kun out here helping you pack up your stuff."
Ochako looked away uncomfortably, "A lot's happened, Mom. We… broke up."
"Oh my gosh, baby, I'm so sorry!" her mom said, gathering her into a hug.
"It's fine," she assured her, "I'm not the one who's upset. I was actually the one to break it off."
Her mom gave her a confused frown, "Okay, well I guess there's a lot for us to talk about later then, huh?"
Ochako nodded her head in agreement and hugged her mom tightly again feeling a little more confident with her support behind her.
And soon enough, it was time for the graduation ceremony to begin.
Aizawa-sensei gathered class 3-A together just outside the building before they entered and were to be seated, saying he had news to inform them of.
Deku and Katsuki finally joined the class again when he called for them all to gather and Ochako took it as a good sign that they would at least be allowed to graduate and walk the stage. They wouldn't have to sit and watch everyone else be called or have to disappoint their parents too much.
"You all saw what happened yesterday morning after the exam with Midoriya and Bakugo. It was not good and we had to take it very seriously," Aizawa-sensei began, "For a while there, the board and Principal Nezu considered revoking their hero licenses."
A few people in class gasped, horrified that something like that would even be considered.
"But I was able to advocate for them along with All Might and Endeavor and I think maybe what you said may have swayed them a little bit too, Uraraka."
All of the eyes of her classmates turned on her and she felt a blush come to her cheeks.
"We were able to somehow convince them not to permanently revoke their licenses. Instead, they will not be receiving them today and will be suspended from duty for two months, then will have a probationary work period in which they must be on their best behavior as heroes or there will be severe consequences then. Both of them have already been informed of this decision and both agree that this is more than fair to them," he explained.
Whispers went around the class but Ochako didn't hear any of them. She was clutching at her chest as relief flooded her. She wanted to scream at the world how happy she was but instead her knees weakened and she almost sank to the ground.
But a strong, large hand caught her elbow and lifted her. Katsuki. He was at her side.
"Chill out, floaty," he told her with annoyance, "It's not that big a deal."
But it was! She had torn herself up all of yesterday and most of today worried sick for him and for Deku. She couldn't imagine the stress they had been under.
"It is and you know it," she argued, keeping her voice low, "It doesn't matter anymore, though, now. Two months is so much better than I would've ever imagined!"
She pulled his hand from where it held onto her arm and she slid her fingers into his, looking up at him with a gentle smile, her stomach doing flips from nerves and excitement.
"I'm happy," she said shyly.
Katsuki sighed, giving her a look that said he thought she was ridiculous, but cute.
"Alright, time to go," Aizawa reported after looking in the door once.
Katsuki's hand slid discreetly from hers as they were placed in line amongst their fellow graduates and walked out to take their seats.
Their graduation ceremony was long with a lot of excessive flair about being a hero even when you're not from the hero course and so on.
Ochako knew that this was meant to be one of the most defining moments of her life but all she could seem to focus on was the blonde boy sitting 2 rows in front of her and how she couldn't wait to run into his arms and celebrate with him and kiss him. They could start talking about working together again and try to find a place that would take them as a team. Hawks had already all but said they were welcome back. She was sure Mt. Lady or any of the Lurkers would take them (or maybe not- she reconsidered- thinking of how Edgeshot and Kamui Woods had been the ones to break Katsuki and Deku up).
This graduation just felt like a means to an end, though. Just a step in the direction she wanted to go. The end goal being a hero agency eventually, she supposed, and somewhere in there finding her way into Katsuki's arms again.
She couldn't wait.
The ceremony wound down finally and they were all released to the shouts of "PLUS ULTRA!" bouncing around the room.
Ochako and her other classmates took the time to change out of their uniforms and into more casual clothing afterwards. Knowing that the journey in the car was going to take a while longer than it usually did by train, she changed into more comfortable loungewear with some leggings and a soft pink tank top with a kitten wearing glittery glasses on the front.
She met up with Mina and the other girls and they all exchanged numbers, promising to keep in touch and get together again whenever they could. A few teary hugs were given and each of the girls went on their way to start their new exciting lives as heroes.
She noticed that, far down the walkway toward the parking lot, her mother and father had been caught up with by Mitsuki and Mr. Bakugo (which had been the first she'd seen of him ever) and were now in a lively conversation. She didn't see Katsuki anywhere near them, though, and took a step to go and greet them to see if he was nearby or to wait for him, although she knew it would be slightly awkward to have to explain their situation to both her parents and his at the same time. It hardly even mattered to her though, her elation was so acute.
"Ochako-chan," a warm, masculine voice sounded behind her and she froze.
She turned to find sad, tired emerald eyes timidly staring into hers.
"Deku," she said softly, not sure what she should say or how she should go about any kind of conversation with him. She had hurt him deeply and he had nearly lost everything thanks to her. She could hardly understand how he was even approaching her right now.
"I just wanted to say thanks for saying what you said in that office this morning," he said with a pained smile, "You didn't have to speak up for me, especially after the awful things I said about you yesterday. You didn't deserve that and I was angry so I apologize."
Ochako felt a warmth radiate from her heart for the green-haired boy before her. She couldn't hate him. She couldn't blame him. She had been through so much with him and spent practically her entire high school life being close friends with him. She hoped to one day get back to that.
"I'm sorry too, Deku, for the things I did and not being forthcoming as soon as I could," she admitted as well, running her fingers through her hair, which laid flat out of its ponytail special for today.
"No, I should really be-" but he was interrupted by boisterous laughter as Kirishima barreled into him, hooking his arm around his neck.
"Midoriya! I'm so glad they didn't screw you over with that license thing. That would've been complete bullshit," the red-haired boy (shitty-hair Katsuki called him) exclaimed, "Come on, you've gotta come with me and tell the rest of the guys who didn't get to see all the sweet action during the exam how we won the whole thing."
"Well we passed, we didn't win," Deku said awkwardly, looking back at her but Kirishima still pulled on him and he finally obliged, seeing Iida and most of the other boys from their class as well as 3-B waiting back toward the school building entrance.
Kirishima gave her a thumbs up behind his back and she realized he'd been trying to relieve her of dealing with Deku right now. Possibly trying to keep the both of them from confronting each other while their emotions were still raw. She was grateful.
Finally alone again, Ochako looked to her parents who were still deep in conversation with Katsuki's.
Her mother looked up and waved to her, drawing the attention of Mitsuki and the two men as well. They all smiled at her, then their gazes went to something next to her and she jumped when she looked to her right to find Katsuki there in cargo pants and a skull graphic tee, looking at her expectantly.
"Holy- Katsuki, you can't sneak up on me like that! I haven't even seen you around! I've been looking for you!" she scolded.
He didn't even acknowledge what she said, just turned his back to her and walked up toward the dorms, away from the campus exit where everyone else was milling about.
"Come on, floaty, we don't got all day," he told her, looking back at her.
Ochako glanced back at her parents and pointed toward him, trying to let them know she'd be right back.
Her mom grinned widely and exchanged looks with Mitsuki before waving her off.
Oh boy… She was going to get an interrogation in the car after all this was through…
Jogging to catch up with him, she walked next to him, enjoying his silent company for a time as they moved further from the crowd or any prying eyes. Though she wished she could at least hold his hand again, touch his arm, something. But he hadn't offered her anything or initiated any contact. It was starting to scrape at the edge of her suspicious side.
"So," she tried stiffly, unsure why she was feeling so uncomfortable around him all of a sudden, "I don't exactly know where I'm going to work after this. Hawks already offered me a job, though. You too technically. I'm sure he won't mind waiting a couple months."
She looked up at him. His face was unreadable like his thoughts were far away and not with her at that moment.
"I'm sure there are gonna be a lot of options," she went on, "despite everything, people still want us to work for them. I can even hold off on taking a hero job and work for my dad for a couple months until your suspension is up, if you want."
"No," he finally answered her, "Don't do that, pink-cheeks."
Her chest tightened and she felt her face get hot as she continued to walk with him, past the dorms now, toward the training grounds at the back of the campus.
"What do you want to do then? Do you have any plans or ideas?" she asked curiously.
He shook his head, still not really even looking at her, just off into the distance, deep in thought.
She finally got tired of waiting for his invitation and took his arm in hers, pulling it to her chest and pressing the side of her body against his.
He went rigid for a moment in response, but soon relaxed and let her have her way with him.
"We can talk about it later, I guess," she conceded, "I'm just glad I can be with you right now."
They remained quiet for a little bit longer as they continued walking, passing the ground beta entrance and walking along its wall toward the next training ground.
A feeling of discomfort grew within her and warred with the happiness she felt at being able to be alone with him for once. But something inside her knew that something was off. This wasn't Katsuki. He had been willing to go to her and kiss her in front of their whole class if she had wanted him to. Now he was taking her far away from where they knew any student or teacher would be. Why? Did they need that much privacy?
Maybe for some things, her mind supplied and her cheeks grew hotter at that thought.
But she doubted that was the case. Why wouldn't he just pull her into the dorms if he wanted that kind of privacy? They still had access to them for the time being and everyone else was already moved out.
"Only two months," he finally said, coming to a stop at the edge of ground beta's wall, reaching his free hand out to it as if for support, "I don't know how we managed to even get off that lucky."
"It's not luck," she told him, "It's your reputation and all the people who know your worth."
She let him go and came to stand in front of him, laying a hand on his cheek. His eyes still seemed so distant.
"Is something wrong? Are you not happy with the outcome?" she asked, feeling concern for him. Worried that he might mistakenly believe he deserved some kind of worse punishment.
He turned away from her hand and tightened his into fists.
Stung by his actions, the dread that had dissipated after the meeting earlier this morning, began to pool in her stomach again.
"Fuck, shit is all fucked up," he groaned, moving away from her and mussing his hair lightly.
"It'll be okay, though," she said warmly, trying to comfort him but unsure if she should reach out to him again.
It had the opposite effect and he let out a strangled growl of frustration, striking the wall with the side of his fist.
This seemed to open some kind of floodgate of rage that he'd been holding back for a while, possibly ever since he'd been pulled away from Deku at the exam.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" he roared, punching the wall of the training grounds over and over again. The concrete was beginning to crack.
"Katsuki," Ochako said with a soothing voice, placing a hand softly on his bicep, "I'm sorry all this happened. You'll get to work in a couple months, though at least."
Katsuki flinched away, his palms sparking in continued fury.
"You don't get it, Ochako," he nearly yelled, "This is what I want to be. This is my dream! And I almost lost it all. Threw it all away! And for what? For a high school crush?"
Ochako's brows twitched at that. A crush?
"You don't mean that, Katsuki. Please just-" she held back from saying "calm down". When had that ever calmed anyone down? "Please just think this through. You haven't lost anything. You're just suspended for a couple months and then you can go back to work. Work with me if you want."
She moved toward him again, trying to touch him, comfort him. But he held out a hand to keep her at bay.
Katsuki looked to relax a bit, letting out a huge breath.
"Work with you?" he asked, incredulous.
"If you want," Ochako added, sounding hopeful.
"Ochako," he said, his voice taut with emotion, "I told you before I'm not throwing everything I ever worked for away over how I feel about you."
She nodded, remembering the conversation on the balcony.
"I almost did just now. I can't- I would never be happy if I weren't a hero, Ochako. Having come this close to losing it all makes me question everything."
He looked into her eyes then, the despair and terror finally coming to the surface. Her heart cried out to help him, save him from this thing that was eating him up inside.
"I need to back off from this. I need some time to figure shit out," he said to her, blinking slowly.
Wait. What?
Ochako shook her head like she might've heard wrong or been confused.
"What do you mean 'back off'? Like… like you focus on being a hero on your own for a while?" she asked, her chin wobbling, hoping that was what he was saying. She could accept him not wanting to work together for a while.
"No, as in I don't think we should see each other for a while," he said slowly, more calmly.
"No," Ochako choked out, her voice not cooperating with her, "that's- that's not what you want!"
"I almost lost everything for you, Ochako," he ground out, sounding pained, "I can't do that."
"I would never ask you to!" she argued, her body starting to catch up to the shock she'd initially felt at his words as coldness crept from her throat, down into her chest, freezing her heart. The dread was beginning to overflow in her stomach.
"I know you wouldn't," he countered, "but that doesn't mean I wouldn't do it anyway."
He grabbed her then, pulling her to him, crushing her body to his. She heard his heart beating wildly in his chest as he held her close.
"Im fucking crazy about you, angel-face," he spoke into her hair, "I would burn the fucking world down for you. Fuck, I might've become a villain for you. I hated Deku when he was with you and I couldn't be."
Ochako shivered at the rage in his confession. She understood his passion. She felt it. She would do the same for him. She knew that if she'd had to be forced to watch him with someone else day in and day out, she might go insane or tear the other girl's hair out. But she knew he only had eyes for her and she never felt in danger of those feelings becoming overwhelming. His fear and lack of security that she loved him as deeply as he loved her, made him more volatile. She'd given him no reason to be sure of it. It was her fault.
"That's too fucking much," he whispered, pulling back, "I can't feel that way about anyone. That's not what I want."
A familiar knife slid into Ochako's chest. One that twisted as it stabbed at her, deeper and deeper. She'd brought this on herself. All of it.
"But I- I love you, Katsuki," she whimpered, tears blurring her vision, "We can be together now. You don't have to worry about me wanting anyone else, I swear!"
A tender hand combed once through her hair.
"I can't, floaty-"
"Fuck you!" she wailed, anger heating her cheeks while ice still somehow gripped her chest, "Don't 'floaty' me! Don't 'angel-face' me, you asshole! You fucking love me and you'll make me happy. You said it! You worked your ass off to prove to me that I was in love with you and now you've stepped over your own made up boundary, you're gonna back off?!"
She pushed him away, his hold on her loosening immediately when she resisted him. She felt like throwing a temper tantrum. She was enraged the same as she was crushed. It wasn't right! She'd made her choice! She loved him! And now he was trying to take it all back because he loved her too much?
"Give me everything, Katsuki!," she cried, unshed tears burning her eyes and the back of her throat, "I can take it! I want it! I want you! I chose you! Take that hatred and anger and willingness to burn the world to the ground out on me! I'm the one who deserves it! I'm the one who made you wait for me!"
Katsuki shook, his crimson eyes burning bright. The passion in them, explosive.
Before she was able to say more- start begging if she had to- he was on her, his mouth meeting hers, bruising her lips with the ferocity with which he kissed her. He kissed her like he loved her and like he hated her.
Ochako clawed at him, wanting to pull him closer than he already was, despite his body already pressed flush against her. Her tongue battled with his, like they were fighting, trying to see who could exhaust the other first.
Her heart was no longer frozen but burning hot like a furnace with need and desire and desperation.
Her back hit a wall and she realized he'd been pushing her backward into it for the past few seconds. And when her back made that tiny thud, he pressed against her hard, grinding a massive erection into her hip.
Katsuki let out a primal growl into her mouth as she let out a similar mewling whimper. God, she fucking loved him so much. Nothing but his body on hers had ever made her feel so alive.
His kiss broke from hers and she saw his eyes, wild with emotion, swirling out of control.
His mouth went to her neck and he licked at it before grazing his teeth against her throat, eliciting an excited gasp from her.
As a reward for making a sound he liked, his right hand went to her breast, cupping, then squeezing, then fondling as he kissed along her neck. His left found its way under her tank top, continually dragging his nails down her back, then sliding his palm back up just to do it all over again.
Ochako's hands flew to his hair, running them through it, gripping it, pulling him into her.
She pushed her hips against his, wanting to feel that long, thick hardness against her again, wanting him to know she wanted to feel it.
Katsuki grunted as his length met her hip again and he bucked his hips a few times, his breaths becoming more erratic as he found a small amount of pleasure through grinding his hips this way against her.
His teeth grazed the soft skin where her shoulder met her neck and she shuddered, letting a tiny desperate whine escape her lips.
He removed his hands from her and grasped her hips, instead centering himself on her as he continued to grind his erection against her over and over, driving her insane.
He slid his left hand down to her thigh and lifted it easily, holding her knee up so he was more easily rubbing against her own wetness now, the need to feel him filling her mounting with every stroke he made.
His mouth met hers again, the same crushing kiss sweeping away all she could've possibly been trying to think about in that moment.
Ochako felt his passion. Felt the overwhelming emotions he was pouring into her. She felt like she was being burned by them, like she was being engulfed in an ocean of uncontrollable flames and she was holding on to the one person she knew she would endure this for, while at the same time, knowing that he was the one those flames were pouring out of.
She accepted him. Accepted this harsh, passionate, wild unleashing of himself upon her.
It was nothing like their first kiss. He'd been forceful then too, passionate and unrelenting. But he had only just let desire fuel his actions.
Now, he was feverish with so much more than desire. His pain and his fear and his anger were pressing down on her as well. He was showing her just how much he felt and how he could hardly take it anymore.
He gripped her ass tightly, painfully with his right hand as he continued to buck his hips into her groin, making guttural growling sounds each time he did. It had to be chafing by now.
Ochako broke their kiss once more, pulling his head back by his hair.
"Katsuki," she said in a lust-deepened voice, "I want this. I want you. I'm yours now and you can do whatever you want with me."
Katsuki snarled at her, past any kind of language usage, absolutely feral.
He let her leg down then and flipped her around so he was pushing her chest into the wall now, her face pressed against the cool concrete.
One hand gripping her hip again, he roughly ran his other up her thigh, a frustrated grunt at not being able to touch her skin for her leggings.
Ochako jolted as his palm cupped her sex, running two fingers along the wetness seeping through both her panties and her leggings.
He sucked in a hiss of air as she let out a tiny yelp and shifted her hips, driving them back and her ass meeting his hard length once more.
As he bucked his hips into her again, she could hardly bear the heat and yearning between her legs any longer.
Katsuki's lips were at her shoulder again and when she pushed back into him again, after he grazed her sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs, he sank his teeth into her.
Ochako cried out. From pain, from pleasure, from the overwhelming emotion barreling down on her. She didn't know if he'd actually broken the skin this time or not, but this had been a harder bite than any other before. The mark would last for weeks.
He stopped his ministrations with either of his hands and brought them back to her hips, his thumbs digging beneath the waistband of both her leggings and panties.
"Katsuki," she begged him.
It was all he needed and he unceremoniously pushed them down, past her ass to mid-thigh, bearing her to him, making her cheeks blaze with embarrassment and desire.
He grabbed her bare ass now, squeezing and groping, making a strained sound of pleasure.
One of his fingers dipped lower. Toward the wetness waiting for him between her legs and she whimpered desperately, cheek still pressed against the wall.
Growling with red hot desire, Katsuki removed his hands and ground his still-clothed erection against her ass, sometimes letting it dip between her legs.
Ochako shook. Trembling with anticipation and a certain amount of fear. This was her first time. Would it hurt? Almost certainly. He was already being rough, that along with losing her virginity would probably end up hurting quite a bit. But she wanted him. She wanted to feel him inside of her. She wanted him to know how much she would give him.
She heard him unzipping his own pants, clothes rustling, the hiss of his breath as he presumably took his length in his own hand.
She started a bit when she felt his foot nudge hers to the side, getting her to open her legs wider and tilting her hips back further, letting a wholly primitive growl escape his lips, as she assumed he liked seeing her presented to him this way.
Something hot and thick pushed against her folds, sliding easily along them as her juices were practically dripping down her legs.
Ochako squeezed her eyes closed, readying herself for whatever this initial pain would be, ready to take it, feel him, accept him.
Her heart pounded in her ears as she said, barely above a whisper, "I love you, Katsuki."
Katsuki went still for a couple heartbeats, then pulled back. The hot hardness between her legs withdrew, along with his rough, grasping hands.
She felt his hands again a moment later at her thighs, taking hold of her leggings and panties, pulling them up over her hips again.
His weight was no longer pressing into her body and she spun around, not understanding what was happening.
She saw him standing there next to her. His pants zipped up again.
Looking up into his face, she saw tears staining his cheeks, the rims of his eyes turning red.
"Why," she asked, not understanding, a feeling of rejection lancing through her.
"Not like this," he ground out with a purely broken voice.
He reached a hand out to her face, brushing gentle, shaking fingers against her cheek, his temperament wholly different than it had been only moments before, when his fingers only knew how to grip and push and claw.
"Katsuki, I want it. I want you," she pleaded, gritting her teeth against the stinging in her eyes.
"I can't," he told her, pulling his hand away.
Those words slapped her right in the face. Her own words. Spoken to him on New Years. Was this tearing of her whole self down the middle how he had felt back then? Knowing he loved her and was just one step away but being denied anyway?
How could she have fucked it all up this badly?
"Please don't go," she begged, a torrent of tears streaming from her eyes, "I'll do anything. I'll never fuck up again. Just please."
He blinked slowly at her, straightening his clothes and pulling his mask of boredom back onto his features.
"No," he said simply, "I'll see you around, floaty,"
Ochako felt everything that she was break apart and sink into an abyss of darkness. She curled her hands into tight fists as she watched him walk away from her through tear-blurred vision.
When he was gone, she bit into her fist and screamed until her throat was raw as she sank to the ground. Then she didn't move until her parents found her a couple hours later, led by Aizawa-sensei. They gathered her up, her father carrying her to the car.
There was no talking on the drive home.
Ya, y'all thought things were gonna be that easy but they AREN'T! Katsuki's got a brain. He occasionally uses it. Some of you were mad at her but she doesn't get off scot free after all the mayhem.
Sorry about your feels but here's um... some minimal consolation smut?