Rosalie stretches her arms above her head, trying to get the circulation flowing back into her body after the four-hour car ride. She reflexively yawns from the motion.
Their little rented cabin in the woods isn't so little. It's a two-story, rustic-looking building with big iron-framed windows and a deck overlooking sloping, snow-covered hills.
"Alright, let's get inside," Carlisle says, popping open the trunk and leading their group up the front stairs to their weekend getaway.
Rosalie starts to pull her rolling luggage behind her up the stone steps, but Emmett grabs the suitcase by the handle, hauling it up for her.
"I got it," he says with a wide grin.
"Thanks."
Bella and Edward lag behind everyone else. It seems the uncoordinated brunette is having trouble navigating the snowy terrain.
Inside, the cabin is undeniably cozy with its exposed wooden beams and A-frame design. There's plenty of plush carpets covering the wooden floors, and an abundance of throw pillows and blankets are draped across chairs and sofas.
She feels like she's in a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie right now. All she needs is a cup of cocoa and some snowflakes.
"There are two rooms upstairs and two downstairs if everyone wants to figure out where they'll be sleeping," Esme suggests.
Alice is somehow already upstairs, doing exactly that. She apparently already knows exactly which room she wants.
Rosalie looks at Emmett, still carrying their things, before going upstairs too.
He hasn't slept over more than the one time. Since they had started dating, she's only seen him once at the football game he invited her to, which she left promptly after with the excuse that she had to get up early for work.
"One of Esme's friends owns a few different cabins out here. I haven't stayed here specifically before, though. It's not bad," Emmett comments as they ascend the stairs.
Rosalie nods distractedly. "Yeah, I like it."
She's unsure how things will go spending a long weekend together.
Will he be expecting sex again? She doesn't think she's ready to jump back in so soon.
Emmett sets their stuff down by the door while Rosalie pulls open the curtains on the bedroom window.
Outside there's nothing but white for miles. Frost-covered trees dot the landscape. She suppresses a shiver from looking at the wintery scene, still feeling chilled despite her new down-filled jacket.
"We're not planning on going skiing and snowboarding until tomorrow morning, so today's kind of a free day. I was thinking we could do the falls on Saturday," Emmett says. "Did you want to go into town or anything?"
Rosalie doesn't want to get back in a car again just to go into the city. "No, let's hang out here for now."
"That's cool with me," he says, kissing her jaw, resting his hands on her waist. "Staying in is nice. Especially with you."
She doesn't feel like being touched, nor does she feel like having another breakdown with everyone else around to witness it this time.
The blond pushes him away gently. "Not right now."
She feels inexplicably bad the moment the words leave her mouth. He seems confused but doesn't question it.
"M'kay. Um, wanna go outside and walk around in the snow or something?" Emmett suggests.
"Let me get something hot to drink first," she says with a nod.
Downstairs she gravitates towards the shiny red Keurig and drops a peppermint mocha pod in the machine.
Esme's sitting with Bella on the sofa in the living room, asking the bedraggled girl about her plans for the holidays. It sounds like she's going to drive home to some middle-of-nowhere town out west.
Rosalie checks her lipstick in the reflection of the glossy microwave door.
"What are you doing for Christmas?" Rosalie asks Emmett who's in the process of rummaging through the pantry. He comes back with a box of peanut butter sandwich crackers.
"Esme's going to cook dinner and Carlisle will make us watch A Christmas Carol for the billionth time, I'm sure," he shrugs. "Are you going home?"
"Probably not."
"Then you should come!" he exclaims excitably. "Hey, let's build a snowman!"
He points to Alice and Jasper out the back window. The pair's in the process of rolling a large snowball. It crumbles before they can finish it, prompting Alice to cry out mournfully and Jasper to laugh.
"The last time I tried to build a snowman I was in grade school," she replies.
"So you're horribly under quota! We have to make at least ten to make up for it. Lucky for you, I'm way better at snow sculpting than whatever it is those two amateurs are doing out there."
Rosalie looks out the window again to see the lopsided snow sculpture her brother and the tiny brunette are working with and laughs. "I'll hold you to it."
...
Thwack!
An icy snowball hits Jasper's back as he ducks for cover around a tree. He sees Emmett in his bright orange puffer jacket ready with another, poised to throw the second he steps out of hiding.
Smack!
"Hey, no fair! You said you weren't playing!" Emmett shouts as Alice hits him square in the head with a snowball.
"I changed my mind!" the small girl says, packing another ball of snow with a laugh. She tosses it at Rosalie, who ducks out of the way with a shriek, her white coat blending in with their surroundings.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Jasper pelts Emmett back with snow, hitting him in the arm.
The sun is starting to set despite it not even being dinner time yet, and the string lights along the roof come on. There's even less daylight up north in Whistler than there is in Seattle.
They built a few sorry-looking snowmen, one of which was shaped like a cross between Mickey Mouse and a teddy bear.
Everyone laughing and having fun together in the snow is a welcome change of pace from his usual late-night haunts downtown. He also hasn't seen his sister in such a good mood since she came to Seattle.
By the time they're finished, Jasper's hair is frosty and wet, and his clothes are dusted in rapidly melting snow. Emmett's even worse for wear, having fallen down in his overzealous snowball battle.
"You should put your stuff upstairs," Alice says as she shakes out her plaid scarf on the deck, little flakes of white ice crystals falling off the beige fabric. Her nose is pink from the cold.
His head is starting to hurt. He rolls his shoulders, trying to ease the tension.
"I can sleep on the couch," he says.
"Why would you do that?" she questions.
He doesn't have an answer to give her. She makes him feel silly for even suggesting it.
He's still more accustomed to being kicked out of a bed than being asked to stay and sleep in one. If that's what she wants, though, he's more than happy to.
Though he was horribly drunk at the time, his sleepover on Halloween was relatively pleasant. Being in her proximity is somehow soothing.
"Do you like cold or hot weather more?" Alice asks, grabbing his hand and leading him inside.
"Somewhere in the middle, maybe. I like the rain."
"That would explain why you always seem to be out in it without the proper attire."
"I got a rain jacket a little while ago," Jasper counters as he picks up his duffle bag from the floor and follows her up into the room she claimed earlier.
"I noticed!" she chimes. "I'm sad. You didn't even take me with you. I love looking at clothes."
"Next time, then," he promises.
Alice opens the door and throws her arms out as if she's presenting for a game show. "Ta-da! See? Plenty of space for you to sleep. I don't take up much room."
The room is decorated cozily, with olive and wood-toned accents. There's a small balcony with a sliding door on one wall, and a closet and bathroom on the other.
"Do you have a preferred side?" Alice asks, hanging up her black jacket on the coat rack beside the door.
He sets his things down while Alice flits about the room, returning with a towel. "Of what?"
"The bed."
"No, do you?"
"Yeah, the middle," she says with a giggle. "I suppose it doesn't matter which side you like then, does it?"
She grabs his hand again and pulls him with her as she walks. Stepping up onto the edge of the bed, she drapes the towel over his head and dries his hair with it.
"So this is what it's like all the way up here," she says, standing just above his eye level.
He laughs. Her smile's contagious. "What are you doing?"
"You're going to catch a cold if you always walk around with wet hair. It's not summer anymore," she chides lightheartedly.
The considerate and unnecessary gesture makes him feel unexpectedly warm and fuzzy. He wants to make her feel the same way, but it's hard to tell what to do when her baseline mood is already so cheerful.
Deciding his hair is dry enough, she stops. She rests her arms on his shoulders, tilting her head as she watches him with big brown eyes.
He wants to kiss her. He hesitates, enjoying the moment as is far too much.
She smiles wider.
"Hey, Alice?" Esme's voice calls from downstairs.
Jasper's greatly disappointed with their untimely interruption.
"Be right there!" Alice calls back, her expression amused.
"Next time," she says to him before hopping down to the floor.
...
After a walk around in the snow, dinner, another walk around in the snow, a shower, and a two-and-a-half-minute-long session of teeth-brushing Edward is faced with the same dilemma he has been for weeks.
Bella sits off to the side of the turned-down, king-sized bed in her pajamas, reading Sense and Sensibility with a concentrated look. She pauses, dog-earing her place when she sees him.
"You didn't have to stay up for me," he says apologetically.
"I wanted to," she returns. "I feel like you've been running be around all day and we barely got any time alone together."
The same intelligence that makes Bella irresistibly attractive is now biting him in the ass.
"We only have so much time here. I just wanted to make the most of it," he says, getting into bed and kissing her forehead. "Since you've never been on a big vacation out of the country."
"I think I'll live to see another day if I miss out on a couple snowflakes and a sleigh ride," she says with an eye roll. "My drive back to Forks takes almost the same amount of time as the drive here did."
"Maybe we should go overseas next? Is there someplace you've been wanting to go?"
She smiles. "I've always wanted to see Europe. There's so much history."
"We can go this spring," he suggests.
"What? Oh, I might go home to see Charlie and I'll be working..."
"I'm sure we can find time where you'll be free," he says, brushing off her reluctance. "Are you ready to go to sleep?"
"No, we're still talking," Bella refuses, wrapping her arms around his neck to keep him close.
She kisses him, nibbling his lower lip.
He groans. She has to know what she's doing to him. Really. "Bella."
"Hm? Is something the matter?" she questions nonchalantly, her hands tracing circles on the back of his neck.
"You're making this really difficult for me," he sighs.
"Maybe I can make it easier, then," she says, starting to pull her sleep shirt up over her head.
Edward grabs the material and yanks it back down quickly. "Bella, no. Bella—"
"What?" she's still trying to weasel her way out of the shirt, seemingly unfazed by his stressed admonishments.
"Stop trying to take off your clothes, please."
"Would you prefer to take them off instead?" she asks, her voice low.
"No, not now. Not tonight," he shakes his head, sitting back and untangling their limbs. "We've already discussed this."
Bella chews her lip, thinking. About what, he's not sure. "You said it was because you didn't want me doing it just for you, right? Well, I'm not."
"What?"
"I want to because I want to," Bella asserts.
"I thought it hurts for girls. You might bleed or you could—"
"Maybe if you don't know what you're doing," she says, cutting him off and raising a brow.
"And I don't! I don't want to hurt you."
She seems unbothered. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I mean, the human race wouldn't be here if it was that bad."
"I don't know what to tell you, Bella," Edward pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. "It's just not something I'm comfortable with. I wish you would understand that I'm doing this for both of our benefits. What if you get pregnant? Or we...break up a month from now? Are you prepared for that? You're giving a part of yourself away that you can't take back."
And what if he isn't any good? What if she doesn't want him anymore after that?
He just knows he's going to hell for how he can't stop picturing her undressed and underneath him.
"Then oh well?" she says with a shrug. "That's life?"
"You should value yourself more. You're worth more than you know, Bella," he extols.
She rolls her eyes. "And you should lighten up. Fine. No sex, no touching. Until later."
"Because I love you," he adds, turning off the light and getting back into bed. "Now let's go to sleep."
"I love you, too," she echoes back.
...
Jasper rummages through the kitchen cabinets and fridge, trying to find something to calm the building jittery mess seeping through his body.
He's anxious. Feverish. His head is killing him.
It's well past midnight and he's a few dozen miles away from the nearest bar or liquor store.
He feels sick. He is sick.
Pushing his hair out of his face, he stares at the pantry. Pancake mix, chips, pasta, a few cases of sparkling water, some cartons of oat milk...
How is there no alcohol in the entire cabin? How is it possible that eight young adults are on a vacation and not a single one thought to bring beer or wine or something?
He should have known this would happen. It's not new information that he can't quit cold turkey. He's been dependent on his bad habits for too long.
He doesn't hear Alice follow him downstairs a few short minutes after. It startles him when her voice is suddenly behind him.
"Jasper," she whispers, getting his attention. "What are you doing?"
"I have a headache. It's fine, I'm just looking for something," he reassures, trying his best to sound relaxed.
It feels even worse than a hangover. He would do anything for the smallest sip of a drink.
He hates having her see him like this.
"Do you need ibuprofen?" she asks.
"No, I don't think that's going to help."
Alice pads into the kitchen in sock-covered feet, her footsteps light and soundless.
"You don't look so good. You're shivering," she says, reaching up and putting the back of her hand against his cheek to test the temperature. "Did you catch a cold?"
He shakes his head. "I just need a drink."
"A drink?"
He rubs his head irritably. "I'm out of meds and I can't get them filled for another week. I'll feel better if I have something to drink."
"If you don't think about it and wait it out maybe it'll go away..." she suggests.
"It doesn't work like that. I've tried," he grumbles, his voice tinged with irritation.
Her eyes widen and she pulls her hand back. "Carlisle might be able to help. He's a really good doctor. Do you think if I go get him, you could talk to him?"
She's asking if she should wake up the house doctor to ask for late-night advice on his alcohol and pill dependency? Not exactly the way to start off a vacation.
"No, it's fine. Really. I'll...figure something out," he immediately rejects.
"Jazz," she says in a somber tone. "Please? He might have ideas on how to get better."
He doesn't want to, but she seems so hopeful and optimistic about it that he can't bring himself to tell her no.
"He's sleeping."
"I can wake him up," she offers.
"Alice, I—"
"I don't like it when we argue," she says quietly, pushing her bottom lip out in a pout.
He feels like she has him wrapped around her little finger. He isn't in a position to deny any kind of alleviation from how awful he feels, so he relents.
"If you think it'll help," he qualifies.
She gives him a satisfied smile. "Don't move. One moment, please."
Alice breezes down the hall in her satiny, blue, button-down pajamas. He hears her knocking softly on one of the doors.
He sits in the living room and rests his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes and trying to ease the throbbing in his skull.
A few minutes later, his bubbly companion returns with Carlisle in tow.
The doctor seems to be in a content mood, though he was definitely just woken up. He's wearing the kind of flannel pajamas that you see in department store catalogs advertising gifts for the whole family.
"Alice said you aren't feeling well," Carlisle says sleepily.
Jasper looks between the two, wondering if this would be a good idea. How much had she told him?
"Yeah," he sighs, trying not to fidget too much at how on edge he's feeling.
"What seems to be the problem?" the slightly older blond man doesn't look at all inconvenienced with the sudden request for his medical expertise. He must truly love what he does for a living. That or he's very good at hiding his annoyance.
Jasper sighs.
He wonders if finding a way out of the hole he'd dug himself into over the course of his teenage years is as simple as asking for help.