Chapter 20
The family took turns talking with Jimmy but he said very few words. He ate very little and even though he looked like their Jimmy on the outside, he wasn't that person. Lou found that she was apprehensive about seeing him while he was awake. She peeked in at night while he was asleep but him awake was a whole other story. She didn't know why she felt that way. Memories of that night had come flooding back when she saw him after they had cut his hair. It was true. She had forgiven him in her heart knowing that day had been too much for him to handle. With every thing else that had happened the month leading up to it, he broke down. Any person would and his feelings for her bubbled to the surface making a deadly concoction. When she had kissed him that night, she set off a series of events that she couldn't control.
"Maybe you could spend some time with him today?" Said Buck from behind.
"I can't explain it but it's hard."
"He's gonna run again. Any day."
"Why do you say that?"
"I can tell. He's getting over the infection. It won't be long."
Rachel came walking up with the girls. Rosalyn ran to her momma. Lou picked up the sweet girl.
"I'm going in. Wish me luck." Said Rachel.
"You taking Maddie?"
"I think she might work in our favor."
Rachel smiled as she went in the room. Jimmy sat by the wall. He had his wrapped hand in his lap looking at it.
"Jimmy, I brought you some company."
He looked up. She saw his eyes change from hopelessness to happiness when he saw Maddie. Rachel put the girl down. She looked at the man that she didn't know in the corner since he had cleaned up.
"Maddie." Jimmy whispered.
The child knew his voice instantly. She wobbled her way over to him. Rachel smiled as he picked her up and put his nose to her hair. She eased back as he spoke softly to the child but yet he never smiled. Not once. He sat her back on his lap. Rachel backed out the door to give him some time.
Lou saw Rachel walking in her kitchen without Maddie. She cracked open the door and saw Jimmy with a small smile on his face talking to the child while they were alone. It made her see him. The person who he used to be. Her caring friend. That was the Jimmy she knew. The door suddenly flew out her grasp as Rosalyn rushed in.
"Rosalyn, no!" Yelled Lou.
She ran in and grabbed her daughter's hand. Jimmy looked at both of them. The smile was gone. Lou looked down at the floor.
"I'm sorry. I'll take her."
"Wait."
Lou stopped and turned around to face him. She tried to stop shaking and hoped that he didn't see how nervous she was. Jimmy looked at the little girl. He stared for a long time taking in the long brown hair tied back with purple ribbons. The child's eyes seem to bore into him.
"Is it true? She mine?"
Lou found that she couldn't answer. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. She took a deep breath.
"Yes."
"What's her name?"
"Rosalyn Emma."
"That's a nice name." He said still staring.
Lou looked in his eyes finally. Her daughter's eyes. She had to make a move. This might be the only chance that she had. She summoned up all her courage.
"She looks like her father. Don't she?"
"I wish she didn't."
Lou thought hard. She had to keep the conversation going. She looked to Maddie.
"You can tell they're sisters."
"Yeah."
Lou walked Rosalyn closer. She had to suck it up and take a chance.
"You should stay."
Jimmy just watched Rosalyn while Maddie squirmed to get down. He let her go and watched her run over to her half sister. The two children held hands and went giggling out the door. Jimmy looked down at the floor.
"You should stay."
"No."
Lou made her way closer.
"Please stay."
"I won't hurt you again. I'd rather die."
"Jimmy, you don't know how hard it has been the last two years. Not a word. Nothing. I was happy to finally see you and know that you were alive."
"Then why can't you look at me?"
"Jimmy..."
"Why?! Why can't you?! The same reason I can't look at myself! That's why!"
"It's different!"
"Deep down you hate me just as much as I hate myself!"
Buck ran in the room to find Jimmy yelling at Lou. Teaspoon ran in right behind. Buck pushed Lou behind him while Teaspoon stood in front of Jimmy.
"What's going on?" He asked.
Lou stepped around Buck with fire in her eyes. She pointed her finger at Jimmy.
"Him. That's what's going on. You listen to me, asshole. I love your stupid ass. Sometimes I wish to God that I didn't but I do. You need to get it through your thick skull that what happened is in the past. So stop your little pity party and man up cause I sure as hell had to!"
Lou stormed out slamming the door. Buck stood still. Teaspoon turned wide eyes back to Jimmy who sat back on the bed.
"Well. That's good to know." Said Teaspoon.
Jimmy didn't say another word as silence filled the room. It didn't make him feel any different. He wasn't going to ruin her or his girl's lives anymore. He had found Maddie a good home with a woman to love her. They would raise her right. He laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.