Merlin waited at the steps for Arthur, Merlin could easily see the red rimmed eyes and again he could feel the urge to ripped Uther apart rise in him. The only good thing of the day was that Uther had allowed a weeklong hunting trip and the knights are all more than happy to go. Now it would be up to Arthur on when he wanted to leave.
Arthur gave Merlin a nod and they bought silently made there way to Arthur's chambers. When they got there Arthur made his way over to his bed, just sitting down, he did not say anything. Everything felt like a mess in his head. Arthur tucked at his hair as he tried to quiet his thoughts down. Merlin pulled Arthur hands away from his hair.
"Calm down, what happened Arthur?" Merlin made sure to keep his voice soft, but the question was clear as day.
Arthur was silent for a few seconds. "He finally told me he is proud of me, that he loves me. But if he really loved me why did he not fight the enchantment? I always felt worthless because of him. Everything I did was to try and make him proud, but never did it help. I was always useless when it came to learning maths and the history of the lands and languages. But I always tried my best and not once was that enough." Arthur tried to pull his hands out of Merlin's, but he holds them firmly before he can start tucking on his hair again.
Before Arthur realised what happened was, is he crying again.
"I once made the mistake of showing him a drawing I made for him. Merlin, he looked me dead in the eye and told me that no prince can do art, that we should be learned where it would be useful. After that he search my rooms and burned all off the paintings." Arthur's voice sounded choked but now that the words where coming there was no silencing him.
Arthur's body crumbled against Merlin as all the horrors from his childhood slowly made there way out of him. "That is why I decided it would be better to become a knight from early on, at least it was something I was good at." His voice was so soft on the end of the sentence that Merlin really had to lean in to hear what he said.
When the silence started to stretch made Arthur pull away. He already felt bad for relaying so badly on Merlin the last few weeks, coupled with how upset he is feeling made his face burned with shame. Merlin seeing this just pulled him back, he slowly rubbed Arthur's hair. Merlin knows deep down that there is nothing that he can say that would make Arthur feels better.
Merlin could feel Arthur slowly relaxing against him, so Merlin continued with what he was doing just slowly working his hand trough Arthur's hair.
When Arthur was properly relaxed Merlin brought up the hunting trip. "Arthur, I spoke to the King this afternoon and he said it would be fine if you go on the hunting trip." Merlin had felt Arthur tensing up again when he bought up Uther.
"Arthur, I know you feel unsure about the other knights, but please these twelves are your friend's. They are loyal to you and only you." Merlin's voice was so full of conviction that Arthur could not help but look up hopeful.
Merlin gave him a slight smile. "So, I take that you are alright with the trip?" Arthur gave a nod. His throat is sore from all the talking he had done. "When would you like to leave?" Arthur thought it relatively quickly.
"Two days from now Merlin, we would leave at dawn." Arthur gave Merlin a tentative smile, hopefully this would be a good trip.
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