Before we get started on the chapter, these are some words the author wrote for this chapter and I wanted to share them with you
PS: I hope you're ready, because this is a sad chapter
PS2: If you want to, please listen to "Two of Us" by Louis Tomlinson at one point.
My son's teacher
By: Ann Arston Ara
Translation: ClaryFlynn98
Beta: Ritchee the fangirl
Dedicated to you who care for me from heaven. This is for you, angel. It was always for you.
.
.
There are no words to describe the pain of the loss of a loved one, there is no "I'm sorry " to heal that wound, there is no time or place that can do so. Years may pass, many years and that pain may still be there forever.
Chapter 21: Andrea's ghost
- Los Angeles, California | February 1992 | 20 years ago -
— Edward? — Anddie's voice reached his ears and, in the distance, he could hear her small, delicate steps. The Cullen mansion was dark at this hour.
Everyone was giving their condolences to Carlisle Cullen who was hugging his little four-year-old daughter as she cried for her dead mother.
— What are you doing here, Ann? — Edward asked turned his back to her.
Anddie wrinkled her nose, Edward only called her like that when he was upset with himself. She found him with his back to her, standing in front of the beautiful living room window, staring at nothing. She always found Edward attractive, an athletic boy with his messy hair but he was always polite and gentlemanly. She saw the tie that Edward had in his fist and sighed, making the decision to approach him. She stopped beside him, and, after an eternity, she laid her head on Edward's shoulder.
— I am so sorry for Elizabeth — she said in a whisper. Edward didn't answer. He continued to stare into nothingness as he put his hands into his trouser pockets.
— She and dad were going to get a divorce — said Edward after what seemed like hours.
Anddie looked at him carefully and then whispered an "I'm sorry".
— I told her that... — Edward's voice broke but he cleared his throat and started again. — I told her that... that she was bad for Alice.
Anddie forced him to turn around and hugged his waist. Edward was still stiff, not moving, but after a moment he surprised her when he hugged her tightly, sinking his face into her hair.
— She loved you Edward, she loved you very much.
Edward denied with his face still hidden in Anddie's neck and said:
— If she had loved us a little, she wouldn't have been running away with another man in her car when she died.
- Present day -
Edward woke up with sweat pouring down his brow and looked around realizing that it was barely three o'clock in the morning. He turned on his back and looked at the ceiling of his room. He pressed his forehead and rubbed his eyes as another memory suddenly came over him.
- July 1995 -
— When are you going to grow up, Edward?
Edward didn't look up from his computer even though it was Anddie talking to him.
— I'm talking to you, you idiot. Stop ignoring me. You know I hate it! — the girl screamed, forcing him to look up. Anddie looked furious, her cheeks were red, and her hands were clenched.
She was beautiful.
Beautiful and lovely.
— Esme is downstairs and no one's going to eat dinner unless the arrogant, self-centered asshole Edward Cullen comes down. You know she worked so hard at making dinner?
Edward slammed the laptop shut and took off his glasses. Then he got up and walked over to Anddie so fast she couldn't even notice.
When she was about to speak again he took her face with his hands and kissed her hard, as he had wanted to do since he discovered that he was a teenager with altered hormones and that Anddie, the only girl friend he had, was beautiful and he was madly in love with her.
- Present day -
— Are you sure you're feeling all right, Edward?
Edward looked up from the papers he'd been staring at for two hours without reading them.
— No — he told Eleonora, who looked at him intently Edward left the papers on his desk and stood up pulling on his tie as he said — Today is not a good day. Cancel all the appointments of the afternoon and go home.
- May 1997 -
— Why all the mystery, Edward? Are you going to tell me or not? — asked Anddie with her eyes covered by Edward's hands, who guided her through a huge drive-in cinema to the screen that said, "Marry me beautiful".
— Just wait, baby, don't be impatient.
He felt her roll her eyes and snort before saying:
— Are you talking to me about patience? You, Edward-the-most-impatient-man-on-the-planet?
Edward laughed and released his girlfriend by spinning her around so he could lose himself in her sky-colored eyes.
— I love you Anddie, and I want you to marry me.
- Present day -
Edward hit the wheel of his car hard several times as the pain ate away at his heart. Twelve years had passed since he had set foot, in that place. Not even when it was the anniversary of her death did, he come to visit that cold place where he had buried his heart. A cold breeze made him squeeze his coat and walk to the grave he hadn't been to for too long.
- November 1999 -
— You're pregnant, Anddie, about four weeks.
Their eyes shone with happiness but those of Dr. Christopher Slider looked at them with pity and sadness.
— What is it, doctor? — asked Edward, not quite sure.
Christopher, an old man with white hair and many wrinkles covering his eyes, stood up and said:
— You're sick Andrea, you can't have that baby.
- Present day -
(Listen to "Two of Us" here, you're going to love the song and the effect)
Edward dropped on his knees, in front of the tombstone of who once was his wife. He caressed her name and involuntary tears rolled down his eyes.
— Hello, honey — he whispered in a broken voice, letting his heart for once in twelve years feel the weight of that pain that pierce his soul. — How are you, princess?
Many tears fell and his heart collapsed from the unbearable pain of loss filling it.
- February 2000 -
— I'm not going to kill my son; Edward I'm not going to do it — screamed Anddie with tears in her eyes and the pain coursing through both of them.
— What am I gonna do without you, Anddie? What am I gonna do without my heart?
More tears fell from Andrea's eyes and she looked at him with all the love she had for him and then said:
— Live Edward, you have to live for both of us. You have to be happy, you have to smile, you have to be a father and mother. You have to love for the two of us.
— No! — shouted Edward, tossing the vase in front of him on a table. — You can't ask me to do that…
Anddie wiped his face and frowned at him before speaking.
— Promise me you'll do it, promise me that when the time comes, you'll live for both of us, promise me Edward.
— I will only do it if you promise to fight with your life for us — said Edward without stopping to see her Anddie nodded and answered:
— I promise, honey, now it's your turn.
- Present day -
Edward struck the earth still weeping and said with a choked voice:
— You promised to fight for your life for us, you promised! How can you expect me to live without you? How!? — he screamed.
"She's dead"
.
"I'm sorry, son. It was impossible for her to survive"
.
"Life goes on, don't stop"
.
"Her heart couldn't take it"
.
"Her last words were your name"
.
"She was someone wonderful, an angel"
.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
.
There are no words to describe the pain of losing a loved one. There is no "I'm sorry" to heal that wound, there is no time or place that can do so. Years may go by, many years, and that pain may still be there forever.
He didn't know how he got home, the only thing he was conscious of was that small, delicate hands wiped away his tears until he fell asleep. His head was hurting too much and one hand was squeezing his. A sense of dejavu came over him.
He looked at his son's teacher there asleep with her hands clutched and intertwined.
"Live Edward, you have to live for both of us. You have to be happy; you have to smile, you have to be a father and mother. You have to love for the two of us"
"Promise me you'll do it, promise me that when the time comes, you'll live for both of us, promise Edward"
Was that what Anddie wanted to tell him?
Was it time to live for both of them?
Could he do it?
Bella sighed bringing him to reality and slowly opened her eyes and found Edward staring at her...
(If the song hasn't ended, stop it here)
- Hours ago -
Bella finished her class and smiled when Anthony approached her with Mark. The two of them were talking continuously.
— Hey Miss Swan! — Mark greeted her before leaving with the other kids for the bus that was taking them home.
— How was your day, champ? — asked Bella, stirring his hair.
A strange feeling filled her that night, so she stayed up until 10 pm. When she was about to go to sleep, her phone rang. It was Alice who, between babbling and sobbing, warned her that Edward was nowhere to be found.
Like a dejavu she found herself entering the Cullen mansion again late at night, ready for anything but seeing Edward come in full of mud with his lost and watery eyes.
She knew what Edward was feeling, she looked like that every time she visited Alec's grave. She sent Anthony to sleep and led Edward to his room, who, among incoherent whispers called for his dead wife. She saw him crying, comforted him and stayed there until he fell asleep.
Her chest tightened and she felt his pain with every tear, with every sob that escaped from his lips. But she wasn't going to put a name to the feeling that she didn't want for herself even though her conscience screamed at her.
She was falling in love with Edward. And she couldn't help it anymore...
Bella looked around. The beach she was on was beautiful, the wind was blowing with passive force and it was warm, in the distance, sitting on a rock, was Alec. Bella walked towards him, who smiled at her and extended his hand towards her.
— Hello Asterias — he said when their hands were together. Bella wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. She knew it was a dream, a dream from which she didn't want to wake up.
— Hello Prince — she answered, whispering nervously.
— I don't have much time, Asterias.
Bella closed her eyes and then lost herself in the arms of the only man she had ever fallen in love with.
— Are you going to be happy for me, Asterias?
Bella frowned at Alec and looked at him intently. He was still the handsome boy she had fallen in love with, the only difference now was that Alec was no longer hers, he was now an angel. Her angel.
— Edward's a good man — Bella looked at him wide-eyed and Alec laughed coolly. — Ti vedrò sempre dal cielo Asterias, sarai sempre il mio primo amore, l'unica differenza è che io non sono mai stato il tuo destino (1)
Slowly the fog of sleep dissolved, and she slowly opened her eyes to find two turquoise orbs looking at her full of hope.
1) Ti vedrò sempre dal cielo Asterias, sarai sempre il mio primo amore, l'unica differenza è che io non sono mai stato il tuo destino: I'll always watch you from heaven Asterias. You will always be my first love; the only difference is that I was never your destiny
Hi, this is a sad chapter, I know, but I want to share a few words the author wrote for this chapter:
"Hello, girls, good night, this was a very difficult chapter to write. Saying goodbye to someone you have really loved it's hard, I know it because I sadly lived it. I know that angel is up there, watching me from upstairs and not with me. He's sending people who love me and take care of me and this chapter is for thank him."
Now, why the song? Well, it fit perfect with the chapter. Louis lost his mum on 2016 due to leukemia and last year he wrote her a song and released it to the world. Is a beautiful song whose chorus says:
You once told me "don't give up, you can do it day by day"
And diamonds they don't turn to dust or fade away.
So I will keep you day and night, here until the day I die
I'll be living, one life for the Two of Us.
I will be the best of me, always keeping you next to me,
I'll be living, one life for the Two of Us.
And if didn't make you cry, listen to it, but the acoustic version with the piano. Or the lyrics version. This song is incredible, and it really captures those feelings you have when you have lost someone you love, which happened to me this past March during the firsts days of quarantine and it really is weird when you realize that that person isn't here anymore.
But, let's move on from the sadness. In this chapter we followed Edward through his pain and the ending says it all. HOPE. That's the thing Bella and Edward need.
Again, I want to thank every each of you for your review: Guest, queen cullen0527, joshuasmom131, motherbreatrice, Tate.L.N.
- Guest: about your review, I'm human, my beta is a human too, we can make mistakes! I'm sorry if we used the word "him" when referring to Bella (which I don't think it happened but...), translating isn't easy, and it's even harder when is from Spanish to English. Again, we're humans and we can make mistakes.
Also, welcome to kymmie, k80cue, Manu23, Twilight Sparkles Passion, Sammie79, ClosetReader and LdyPhantom.
Did I make you cry with the chapter? Tell me on the "review" section! And see you on Monday (or Sunday!)