Dear Lame Journal,

We were in Chai's bedroom. Doing our favorite thing, kissing.

Chai was underneath me when she placed her hand on my back. But she then slid her hand underneath my shirt and then on the belt loop of my pants.

I was suddenly uncomfortable and pulled back.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I couldn't just tell not to do that. I could say it wrong and she'll think that I don't want to kiss anymore.

"Nothing. I just needed to stop for air."

Then the bedroom suddenly swung open. I automatically hit the floor.

"Brenda, I'm home." A middle-aged brunette yelled.

Chai got up from the bed, "Mom! Ever heard of knocking."

I got back up from the floor.

The woman gasped when she saw me, "Is this Maya?"

She came charging to me and grabbed me into a hug.

"Mom!" Chai yelled.

Mrs. Bernstein pulled back and rubbed my face.

"She's pretty. Don't you think she's pretty?" She waved her hands around, "Well of course I do, she's your girlfriend. Maya, why don't you stay for dinner?"

I didn't even have time to get a word out.

"Of course you'll stay. You'll love my vegetarian lasagna."

She kind of reminds me of Riley.

She finally let go of me and turned to Chai, "I'll go get everything ready. Give you girls some more… 'girl' time." She said doing this weird thing with her shoulders.

After she left, Chai finally exhaled.

"I'm sorry." She repeated a few times, " My mom is so embarrassing."

"So...your mom knows...everything."

"Yea, my parents know." She said, "And they are WAY too supportive."

I just stared at her.

"You don't have to stay for dinner." Chai sat on the bed. "But...I would like it if you did."

"Well," I said. "You saw my mom throw rolls at dad. So why not?"

We both awkwardly laughed.

%%%%

The Bernsteins had an actual dining room. Mom and I have a table we found at goodwill. Mrs. Bernstein laid out these beautiful white plates and shining silverware. All of our kitchen stuff was mismatched. This was pretty fancy.

Chai and I sat down next to each other. I struggled sitting up straight as I was trying to act "proper".

The vegetarian lasagna smelled great when Mrs. Bernstein sat it down. A middle-aged man with gray and brown hair and glasses came and sat down at the head of the table.

"Oh hi," Mr. Bernstein acknowledged me, "I didn't know we had company."

I opened to speak but before I could say anything,

"This is MA-YA," Mrs. Bernstein cheered, putting the lasagna on my plate.

"Oh, the girlfriend!" Mr. Bernstein held out his hand, "Pleasure to meet you."

I shook his hand. Mrs. Bernstein sat down and they started eating. I've never had veggie lasagna before so it scared me. However, once I took a bite, it was good. Very cheesy.

"So Maya," Mrs. Bernstein began. "Brenda tells us you're an artist. What is your medium? Photography? Paint? Or mixed media collage?"

I waited to speak, in case she was going to cut me off. But after five seconds, everyone was just staring at me.

"I just draw, color pencils," I replied, but then I felt the need to go on, "But I would like to try collage. I've been kinda interested in sharp edges since I've studied Picasso in school."

"Oh I love Picasso," Mr. Bernstein exclaimed. "I remember when I first saw Guernica, amazing."

"Yeah," I cheered, starting to feel more relaxed. "My favorite work of his is The Weeping Woman."

"Oh, I love the weeping woman." Mrs. Bernstein said, putting her hand on her chest, "It's like he put so much misery into this one woman, that her face cracked open."

"That's what I said," I giggled.

Was I actually...getting along with Chai's parents?

I looked over at Chai smiling at me. Then she brushed her hand across my thigh.

I was suddenly unconformable again.

"So Maya, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Mrs. Bernstein inquired.

I paused, holding my fork in my face. I just realized that I didn't know.

Mom and I have been going to Riley's for Thanksgiving for the past 5 years. But what 's going to happen now?

"If you don't." Mrs. Bernstein asserted, "You and your family are more than welcome to come over here."

I was really uncomfortable now.

"Um...my mom and I have plans."

She nodded.

I pulled out my phone.

"Oh, mom wants me to get home soon."

That was a lie. I just wanted to get out of there.

%%%%

The Bernsteins were nice. But everything was just… A LOT. After leaving their apartment, I found myself about to text Riley.

I was having a conflict and wanted to reach out to my best friend.

I wonder if Riley feels like this. I wonder how things with Lucas were going. If Lucas was…rushing things.

I was so tempted to text her about Thanksgiving. But I didn't. I got off the subway car and saw Crazy Hat on the bench. She seemed to be taking notes. I sat down next to her.

"Does this ever help? People watching?"

"Yea, I learn new things every day. My newest invention is on the way." She claimed.

"What is it?"

"It's top secret."

"Of course it is." I cracked.

%%%%%

When I got home, mom was at our kitchen/dining room table eating Chinese takeout...with John.

"Hey Maya," John said, "How was your day?"

"Okay," I grumbled before turning to my mom, "Hey mom, what are we doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Oh….so you don't want to go to Riley's?" Mom turned to John, "Riley and Maya are no longer friends."

"Oh, what happened?" he asked.

"Stuff," I snarled.

"Well...how about we have our own thanksgiving, right here?" Mom asked,

"It sounds like a great idea," John emitted.

Really, John? Just stopped talking.

"You? Cooking Thanksgiving dinner?" I chucked.

"I'm sure, if we all help, your mom could pull off." John continued to speak.

"Yea," Mom cheered, clapping, "It will be fun."

What other choice did I have?

%%%%

"Before I let you go today, I want to give you guys an assignment." Mr. Matthews said at the end of History.

We all groaned.

He doesn't get what a week off means.

"It's for extra credit."

We still groaned.

"I just want you guys to take some time and make a list of everything you are grateful for. Stop being angsty teenagers for a second and ask yourself: Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have a cell phone in your pocket? And do you have someone to call?"

The bell rang and we all shot out of our seats.

"Maya," He called me.

I turned back around, "What up?"

He sat at his desk chair, "I just wanted you to know that the whole family is going to miss you on Thanksgiving."

"Did Riley say that?"

"Yea."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrow and cocked my head.

"Riley misses you. You're a team. She's not the same without you."

"Then," I pulled my books to my chest, "She needs to apologize."

%%%%

After school, I went to go see Shawn. However, Mr. Minkus was the one who answered the door.

"Oh hey…"

"Shawn is in the kitchen." he smiled at me, motioning me in.

As I followed him, I couldn't help noticing Shawn's suitcase was still out. Shawn, wearing a pink apron, was at the stove stirring a pot. You would have thought.

"Hey, Maya" Shawn acknowledged me, throwing some green stuff in the pot.

I sat down at the kitchen counter and watched them for a minute. Without looking at each other, Shawn poured wine into Mr. Minkus's glass at the exact moment Mr. Minkus moved the glass to the bottle. Mr. Minkus handed Shawn an oven mitt at the exact moment Shawn was about to open the oven.

"How old do you have to be to have sex?" I blurted out.

Both men froze. They slowly turned their heads toward each other. Shawn closed the oven. Mr. Minkus jugged his wine and set the glass down. They looked at each other then back at me.

"Because," I finally spoke, "I think Chai...wants to...do it."

Shawn took a breath, "Did she say that?"

"No...but maybe…"

"This may be the Dad voice talking, " Mr. Minkus said walking toward me, "But you are all way too young to think about that. You and Chai have only been dating for what...a month?"

"It's been more than a month."

But I thought about it. We kissed on Halloween and it was the week of Thanksgiving.

"Three weeks," I corrected myself, "Well how long do you have to date?"

They were silent.

"I need some real answers. Please don't tell me that you 'waited for marriage'."

Both of them chuckled to each other. Shawn took a breath.

"I was 18," he said, "Angela Moore."

"I was also 18," Minkus followed, "Dana Pruitt."

Suddenly Shawn lost his balance and fell.

"You and Dana?"

"Yea," Minkus nodded, "We dated all senior year."

"So..." I chimed, "You know her?"

"Her and Shawn dated for a little bit." Mr. Minkus said so casually.

"Wow, Philadelphia must be a small town," I smirked.

"You knew I dated Dana?" Shawn said getting up, "Jennifer was a coincidence but we both dated two girls...that's weird."

"Well, Shawn you did date like 90% of the girls at John Adams. There was bound to be some crossover."

"So many girls have you both dated?" I asked.

Mr. Minkus shrugged, "Should we make a list?"

Mr. Minkus was joking. But there was fear in Shawn's eyes.

"A list? You want a list."

Mr. Minkus placed his hand on the counter, staring at Shawn, "Well...how many people have you dated?"

"Um…" Shawn's mouth gaped open, "...I need to check on the chicken."

Shawn put on the oven mitt and opened the oven. I guess we weren't going to get an answer.

Mr. Minkus came and the sat across from me, "You want to figure everything out, right now, don't you?"

I nodded.

"You want to step on the pedal and get to the finish line?" He said, "Well when you drive too fast, you run red lights. And when you run red lights, you crash."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I crashed. Big time. I really figure the sex thing out. But I hadn't figured it out myself first. Either one of us was ready. I didn't...enjoy myself. Neither did she. And now we don't even know each other anymore," He went on. "Maya, we can't tell you what the right time to have sex is...but I can tell you that before you do anything, you need to have an open and honest conversation."

He was right. However, Chai and I weren't the only ones who needed to have an honest conversation.

%%%%

Deat Lame Journal,

Today is Thanksgiving.

I was watching the Macy's parade while Mom and John were in the kitchen, giggling as they peeled potatoes.

Ew...but it was kind of nice seeing Mom giggle. I haven't seen her smile that big in a while.

I opened my phone and opened my text messages. I really wanted to text Riley. Could I just say hi and see what happens?

"Oh, it's Underdog," John yelled at the TV.

He was now sitting next to me on the couch. "So what's your favorite part?"

"The end," I smirked.

My phone beeped. It was Chai.

Bored out of my mind. You?

"Is that your boyfriend?" John chuckled.

I knew it was a joke. But it was not funny.

"Going to the bathroom," I said walking.

But instead, I went to my bedroom and climbed out of my window after texting Chai.

Wanna sneak out?

%%%%

I went to the park. It was the first time I had been there since I bashed fake Riley's head in. The statue was still broken. I turned away. I looked at the phone again, tempted to text real Riley.

"What happened to this statue?"

I looked up to see Chai in front of fake Riley.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

She sat down next to me, "I've never sneaked out on a holiday before."

She kissed me. I pulled back.

"Can we talk?"

"Ok," She said frowning,

"I feel...we may be going too fast."

"You want to break up?" She asked, with these sad puppy dog eyes.

"No. No." I shook my head.

"Is it because my parents are total freaks?"

"No. Your parents are actually great. I just...I am not ready for sex."

"Oh" Chai's mouth dropped, "I didn't think we were…"

"Last time, we were making out...you got a little too hands-on."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Chai sat cis cross on the bench. "I'm not ready for sex either."

"Good. Then we're on the same page."

"I'm glad that we're a couple who can talk about things." She smiled at me.

"Me too."

I put hands on her cheek and I kissed her.

"Um...Maya?" A male voice said.

I turned my head. John was right there.

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