Chapter 20

Uther left as Merlin was waking up. They didn't want them to talk just yet in case Merlin got anxious or upset. Merlin's eyes were still glazed over and dazed from the concussion as he looked around the room and tried to remember what had happened. His hand drifted up to his head and he clutched it.

"What is it, Merls?" Arthur asked him gently, "Does it hurt?"

Merlin whimpered and nodded.

"It's alright squid," Morgana said, "I'll go and find someone to help."

When the doctor came in with Morgana a few seconds later she asked, "Before I give him pain relief, was he sick?"

"No," Arthur said

"Has there been any fluid leaking from his ear?"

"No."

"Ok, that's good. Alright, Merlin, shall we sort out that headache for you?"

Merlin nodded, his face still buried in Arthur's shoulder.

"It should kick in pretty quickly," the doctor said, "It'll make him a bit loopy because it's so strong and combined with his concussion, he could get a bit crazy. Don't worry about it, just film him if you want some blackmail," she joked.

After a few moments, Merlin groaned and shook his head, "Woah."

The doctor raised her eyebrows, "Have fun," she teased.

"Hey, Merlin," Arthur said gently.

"Arthur!"

"Yeah, that's right."

"You know something?" Merlin leant up to whisper to Arthur, "I forgot the last couple of months."

"Did you?"

"Yeah," Merlin laughed at bit and then frowned suddenly, "Is that bad?"

"No," Arthur said, looking at Morgana while they both tried not to laugh, "No it's not bad. So long as you can remember now."

"I think so. Maybe you could remind me what we used to do together at night."

Morgana nearly started choking as Arthur snorted in shock, "I didn't know you were so dirty when you were high, Merlin."

"Do you need to help clean me up?"

"If that was supposed to be some sort of euphemism," Arthur frowned, "It really didn't work."

"Hm. You know when you watch something in slow motion?"

"Yeah."

Merlin hesitated, "No, that was it."

Morgana laughed, "Really?"

Merlin thought about it for a while, "Oh, actually. So, you know when you watch something in slow motion?"

"Yes," Arthur said again patiently.

"That's what my brain's like. Slooooowwww."

Arthur didn't know what to say to that. He had to stop himself from bursting out laughing which apparently offended Merlin deeply.

"What?"

"Nothing, Merls, it's ok."

"You're laughing at me," he accused.

"No."

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why aren't you laughing?"

"Why aren't I laughing?" Arthur repeated.

"That's what I said," Merlin patted his ear lazily, "Have you hurt your ear?"

"No, squid," Morgana said, "Arthur's just tired."

"Awh," Merlin looked at him and then tried to get out the bed.

"Woah, what are you doing?" she stood up to push him back down.

"Arthur's tired," Merlin explained, "So he needs the bed."

"No, Merlin. It's alright. You stay there. I'll be fine."

"No," Merlin insisted, "You can-"

"It'll make me feel better if you stay here," Arthur said quickly.

"You need to feel better? Something's wrong?" Merlin panicked, "What is it?"

"No, no. No, I meant if you don't stay here, I'll be sad."

"Oh," Merlin settled back down, "Ok then. You know when you watch something in-"

"Slow motion?" Arthur presumed.

Merlin's eyes widened, "Yeah! How did you know?"

Morgana giggled, "Go on, squid. What were you going to say?"

"You know when you watch something in slow motion?"

"Go on," Morgana smiled at Arthur who looked like he was about to smack his head on the wall.

"That's what I feel like."

An hour, seventeen more times of Merlin relating his brainpower to slow motion films and multiple awful euphemisms for sex later, his eyes were starting to droop closed and he was becoming heavier in Arthur's arms.

As soon as he was asleep, Arthur sighed and looked at his sister, "Wow."

"I think he was a bit confused," Morgana laughed.

"Maybe just a bit. Oh my god. I never want to watch anything in slow motion ever again."

"I thought it was quite cute," Morgana said, "His innocent little eyes."

"Yeah, and him constantly asking me if I wanted to have sex with him. Adorable," Arthur said sarcastically.

"He won't remember it. Don't pretend that you didn't think it was sweet."

"Maybe a little. I can't believe it was never that bad," Arthur sighed, "I was convinced he was really seriously hurt."

"So was I. When I came in, I was convinced he was de-" she stopped herself.

Arthur nodded, "I know. Oh, there's going to be so much blood to clean up."

"Don't think about that now."

"He's going to be so annoyed about having to use the wheelchair all the time. We'll need one upstairs! He's never used one upstairs. He doesn't deserve this."

"Arthur with things that are difficult you have to look for positives. Think about the good that's come out of it."

"What good could possibly come from this?"

"Look at the change it's made in dad," Morgana said calmly, "He's realised his mistake."

"He realised too late."

"But Catrina's going to get the punishment she deserves. Isn't that what you want?"

"Of course. But if father had listened to us when we told him-"

"I know. But he understands now. He was so happy when I showed him those photos of you both."

"That doesn't erase what he said about Merlin."

"Arthur, how awful would the world be if no one ever forgave anyone?"

"I'll forgive him if Merlin does."

Two days later, Merlin and Arthur were sitting on the sofa in Arthur's house and Merlin was staring at a dog toy on the floor. Someone had cleaned the house of all the blood from the carpet, stairs and chairlift but they were yet to figure out who it had been.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked him.

"We have a puppy," Merlin said, "I forgot. I thought I'd remembered everything. What's the date?"

"The third of January."

"I didn't remember New Years. I have now, now I'm here. But-"

"It's alright," Arthur told him, "Gwen and Lancelot have been looking after the dog. They're going to bring it over later. He'll be so happy to see you."

"Killi," Merlin said, "He's called Killi, right?"

"You haven't named him yet," Arthur said, "But if that's what you want to call him."

"I don't know. Does he look like a Killi? I've forgotten what he looks like!"

"Calm down, Merlin. You're still concussed, remember? Why don't we wait for Gwen to bring him over and you can decide? You're not going to be perfectly fine straight away."

"How long will it take?"

"The doctors said a couple of weeks."

"And that's why my voice is funny and I get my words mixed up?"

Arthur nodded patiently, "But it'll get better."

"What happened?"

"You fell down the stairs," Arthur told him for at least the twelfth time.

"You've told me that before," Merlin said sheepishly with an embarrassed grin, "Sorry."

Arthur laughed, "It's alright."

"Was I by myself?"

Arthur looked at him in surprise. Their conversations about what had happened had never extended that far. "I was downstairs," Arthur told him, "So I couldn't catch you."

"Why was I upstairs by myself? You always helped me."

"Someone was at the door. I went down to answer it. You were going to come down in the stair lift."

"It's weird. Knowing something happened to you but not being able to remember."

"I know. That's what it's like for me with the fire."

"So who was at the door?"

"Hm?"

"When I fell."

"Oh," Arthur had never been able to lie to Merlin, "My father."

Merlin looked surprised, "How is he?"

"He's fine. He's erm, making a few changes after what happened."

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't just my father that was here. He brought Catrina with him. You didn't just fall. You had a panic attack because she said some pretty horrible things. My father realised what a mistake he made. He's divorcing her and contacting the police. He came to the hospital to apologise while you were asleep."

"Did you forgive him?"

"Do you think I should?"

Merlin nodded, "Relationships with your family are really important. I know what it's like not to have a father but for him to still be alive somewhere. It's not easy."

"You father didn't do the things my father did."

"He did. Surely my mum told you he was in a gang when he was younger."

Arthur nodded, "I suppose."

"He's still your father, Arthur. And if he truly does feel sorry for what happened then you have to forgive him."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Forgive him?"

"Do you think he truly is sorry?"

"Yes."

"Then yes."

The doorbell rang and they heard a faint barking from outside the door.

"I wonder who that might be," Arthur teased, laughing as Merlin's eyes lit up, the initial shock and fear from the doorbell fading quite quickly. He'd always had an issue with loud, sharp noises- something he hadn't explained to Arthur yet.

A few seconds later, Arthur was walking back into the room, holding a wriggling ball of fluff in his arms. The puppy was trying to reach up and lick his face excitedly but the second Arthur sat down beside Merlin, it jumped out of his arms and snuggled up to Merlin calmly. Merlin grinned and began stroking him happily, "He's so cute."

Arthur nodded, "And he remembers us."

"Where's Gwen?"

"They're sorting their bags out. They're going to stay with us for a while."

"They're first on the rota, then?"

Arthur nodded, "Gwen and Lance for three nights, Gwaine and Percy for two, Morgs and Leon for three, Elyan for two then we get two to ourselves."

"That's kind of them."

Gwen rushed into the room and bent down to hug Merlin, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Gwen," Merlin laughed, "Don't worry."

"We were so scared."

Merlin didn't really know how to reply to that, so Arthur said, "Don't lie, Gwen. You were happy to have a free dog to look after for a few days."

Gwen stuck her tongue out, "He wined and barked the whole time."

"We'd had him less than a day," Merlin said, "I'm surprised we made a bond so quickly."

"You just have that effect on people," Arthur teased, "Everyone loves you."

"Shouldn't you be in bed, sir?" Lancelot asked teasingly as he joined them, "You need rest."

"You sound like Morgana," Merlin laughed, "That's all she told me to do for two days."

"She had a point," Gwen looked concerned, "Maybe you should be in bed."

"We're fine here," Arthur said, "We weren't quite up to facing stairs, were we, Merls?"

Merlin blanched and shook his head.

Langued chuckled, "I don't think I've ever met someone scared of stairs before."

"If you'd woken up in a hospital twice after being found badly injured at the bottom of a set of stairs, you wouldn't be so eager to go up them," Merlin retorted sharply and then calmed, "Sorry. Mood swings. It's the concussion."

"It's alright. You're right. Sorry, Merlin."

"Would you rather we set up the spare room down here?" Gwen offered.

Merlin shook his head slowly, "No. I'm more comfortable upstairs. I know it better," he looked guiltily at Lancelot, "I really am sorry I snapped."

"Don't worry about it," he smiled honestly, "Now. I'm no chef, but Leon's taught me a few things over the years. Who wants lunch?"

Gwen looked horrified, "Leon's taught you nothing! The last thing you did in the kitchen was break everything! I'll make lunch."

"Can we all do it together?" Merlin asked, "It'll be more fun."

"That's a great idea," Arthur said, "Come on. Let's just not give Lancelot anything sharp or breakable."

Merlin stayed in bed the next day with their puppy, which he'd officially named Killi, cuddled on his lap. Getting Merlin up the stairs the previous evening had been quite a difficult event, even when he was safely strapped in the chair lift. In the end, they had to take him out, allow Arthur to sit down first and then place Merlin on Arthur's lap so he was securely wrapped in his arms. Then, Lancelot had to walk behind the lift as it went up with his arms out while Gwen walked ahead, keeping Merlin's attention on her so he wouldn't look behind him.

And so, there was absolutely no way they were getting him back down the next day. He was perfectly content in bed, reading, sleeping or playing with Killi. Gwen and Lance took Killi out for a walk in the morning and the evening leaving Merlin with Arthur happily cuddled in his arms.

"Have you spoken to your father?"

"Not yet. I was thinking about inviting him over so we could both speak to him."

Merlin nodded, "Good idea. When?"

"A couple of days?"

"Why wait so long?"

"So you have a chance to feel better."

"Don't let it hang around awkwardly Arthur. Ask him to come over tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Get it done quickly."

Arthur grabbed his phone, "Father?"

"Good evening, Arthur. Is everything alright?"

"Fine, thank you."

"How's Merlin?"

"He's much better, thanks. Actually we've been talking and we wondered if you might like to come over for dinner tomorrow night? If you're not busy."

"Not at all. That's kind of you, son."

"We'll have to eat upstairs, of you don't mind. Perhaps in the study."

"Of course. Wherever you would like. I'll be over at half past six, is that alright?"

"That's fine. See you tomorrow, father."

"Before you go, were the carpets cleaned properly? I never had the chance to get them checked before you got home."

"It was you?"

"I hired a company to clean them. It's not much of an apology, but-"

"Thank you. That was very kind. See you later."

"Goodbye. Give Merlin my love."

Arthur put the phone down and smiled at Merlin who grinned back.

"Why do you talk to him like he's your boss?"

"Hm?"

"Uther. You call him 'father' and talk so formally to him. He's not your boss anymore. He's your dad. You don't need to be professional."

"When did you become a counsellor?"

"When I realised you needed one. When he comes over tomorrow, don't call him father, call him dad. He'll appreciate it. Give him a hug when he comes in. Don't talk to him like you're worried he's going to fire you."

"Merlin, not everyone has a perfect relationship with their parents."

"I know. But will you try it? Please?"

Arthur sighed, "Alright. For you."

"We're back!" they heard Gwen shout, "And we've brought dinner!"

"Bring it up!" Arthur yelled back.

"Fancy trying to eat in the study?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Merlin, you've been in bed all day."

"Haven't. I went to the toilet."

"I carried you. And it's literally there," Arthur pointed to the en suite.

"I tried to go downstairs."

"And then you started panicking and I had to take you back here!"

"Please," Merlin begged, "I'll try tomorrow. Really properly try to get downstairs to see your father."

"Dad," Arthur corrected and Merlin grinned at him as Lancelot opened the door, a huge bag of Chinese takeaway in one hand and a sleeping puppy in the other.

"Gwen's getting plates and drinks."

Merlin took Killi and set him down on the pillow. When Gwen arrived and they dished out their meals, Arthur said, "I want to treat the pair of you to a meal tomorrow night. You've been very kind to us since the fire. Go anywhere you want, order whatever you fancy and take as long as you need. I'll pay for it."

"Arthur, are you sure?" Lancelot asked.

"You've given so much for us recently," Arthur said, "The least I can do is pay for a meal. I'm serious. I don't care if you order the most expensive meal in the world or have five courses and a dozen drinks. Go out and enjoy yourself on us."

"That's so kind of you, Arthur, thank you," Gwen said, "Do you need us to ask Morgana to come over?"

"No," Arthur said, "My dad's coming for dinner. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to let you have some time together. I've been wanting to treat you for a while. Everyone else will be getting the same offer, don't worry."

Lancelot made a strange noise, "You're going to trust Gwaine to go out at night and spend your money. You know how that'll end, right?"

Arthur shrugged, "Probably. But hopefully Percy and Elyan will keep him in check."

"They're just as bad," Gwen giggled.

Merlin meanwhile, was staring at his plate of rice curiously. He was sure that the little grains had just jumped up and were twirling around on the dish together. But then and again, he might have imagined that. Because he was pretty sure that his duvet wasn't made of water and shouldn't be moving like ocean waves.

"Merlin?" Arthur said gently, "Are you alright?"

"My head's spinning," he said, terror lining his words, "Dizzy."

Arthur took the plate away and handed it to Gwen, "It's ok. Close your eyes, come here."

Arthur held Merlin close to him and pressed his head against his chest, "Can you feel me holding you?"

Merlin grunted a noise that sounded conformational.

"So you know nothing's spinning, yeah? Because I'm holding you nice and tightly."

Merlin made the noise again.

"Breathe properly, Merlin," Arthur scolded, feeling him hyperventilating, "I'm going to lie down, ok?" They shifted so they both had their sides against the mattress, "Can you feel the bed? And you can still feel me?"

Merlin made the same little noise twice.

"You know you're safe, don't you? Nothing's spinning."

Gwen and Lancelot were watching in amazement and sympathy. Arthur always seemed to know exactly what the right thing to do was for Merlin in situations like this when any other would be completely out of their depth.

"Better?"

Merlin shrugged.

"A bit?"

He nodded.

"Alright. Stay lying down but try and open your eyes for me?"

The muscles around Merlin's eyes relaxed and then his eyelids flicked open.

"Am I spinning?" Arthur asked.

"No," Merlin whispered, "How did you know? What to do?"

"I'm just amazing," Arthur teased, "And because I know you love cuddles."

"I love your cuddles," Merlin corrected.

"Do you want to try and sit up? Your dinner's getting cold. If you don't hurry, Gwen might eat it all."

Merlin laughed and nodded.

"Slowly," Arthur told him sternly and helped him so he was sitting up again, resting against a pillow, "Good?"

"Thank you."

Lancelot handed them their plates back while Gwen picked up Killi from the floor where they'd moved him so he was out the way. With his eyes lowered in embarrassment, Merlin held out his hands to take the puppy and didn't let go of him until after he'd finished eating.

Gwen and Lancelot took the plates downstairs to wash up while Arthur flicked the tv opposite the bed on and found something to watch.

"You ok?" he asked Merlin.

"Yeah. Bet you're glad we stayed here now. I don't think lying on the floor in the study would have been quite as comforting."

"Maybe not. And you definitely would have had a small dog jumping all over you."

Merlin smiled, "Are you nervous to see your dad tomorrow?"

"A little. I feel like it was all a dream and he'll show up yelling and shouting."

"Do you remember before any of this when the renovations were still just discussions and you asked me to call your father about them?"

"You didn't want to."

"And I said that if your dad had it his way, he'd have me renovated."

"And I told you that you weren't making any sense."

"Guess you were wrong," Merlin looked down at his legs, "One's gone, the other's broken, I've hit my head hard enough to cause a bit of damage. I'd say that's a pretty good renovation."

Arthur laughed, "You're insane."

"Remember when the biggest of our problems were getting orange juice and coco pops out of chair covers?"

Arthur snorted, "Yeah. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm sort of glad this happened."

"What, because now you get to carry me to bed every night?" Merlin teased.

"Because otherwise I don't think I'd ever have told you how much I love you. But yeah, also because I literally get to take you to bed and undress you every night. Speaking of, actually…"

"In front of the dog? Arthur that's disgusting."

Arthur called for Gwen who took Killi out and bid them goodnight.

"There," he said once the door was closed, "Happy?"

"Ask me again when we're finished," Merlin turned to Arthur and kissed him.