I haven't written anything new in days, but I still have a few chapters to post. Hopefully before they're done I'll be back writing. Doing lots of things for myself this weekend, and while I enjoy writing, it's not necessarily what I need right now.

WARNING: homophobic and transphobic language, as well as violence

"I've decided I'm going to come out to my family."

Jane lay on her side, staring into Maura's eyes, their bodies tangled up in post-orgasmic bliss. She'd lived a lie for far too long, and it was time she was honest with her family, and herself.

"What are you going to say?" Maura asked, drawing circles across her shoulder blade.

She stayed silent for a moment. She'd never really thought about the words she might use, or how she might explain her sexuality to her family. Her mother knew she wasn't straight, but that didn't change the fact that she didn't know how to explain that to her family.

The longer she thoughts, the longer Maura stared at her, the more the words became clear in her mind.

"I'm gay."

"Is this the first time you've said that out loud?" Maura asked. Jane nodded her head. "I can feel you're shaking."

She let out a trembling breath. "I've never even admitted it to myself before. When I fell for Danny, I think I fell for the idea of who my parents wanted me to be with. It was always expected that I would get married and have children. There was no question about it being with a man."

"But you don't love him."

Maura's body was so hot against her own. She could hear the soft murmur of Maura's breathing, of the little sounds she made to acknowledge she was listening. The scent of her skin infiltrated her senses.

"I don't think I ever did, not in the way I love you." She sighed. "The first time we had sex it was bad, real bad. I thought…well, he was the second guy I'd ever been with. I just thought that was normal. People talked about sex being disappointing for women, and I believed it."

"You didn't realise you needed to have sex with a woman," Maura said, sliding her hand along Jane's hip and down between her thighs. Jane let out a yelp. She chewed her bottom lip. "That you needed something more than a man could ever give."

"Not yet." Jane gripped her wrist and pulled it away. "I love lying here with you, talking about whatever."

"Me too."

"I don't know what's gonna happen when I tell them."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." She edged closer, rubbing her nose briefly against Maura's. "I need to do this by myself. But I hope you'll be here when I get back, so we can celebrate…or you can cheer me up, which is probably the more realistic option."

Jane closed her eyes. They lay arm in arm for a while, the silence comfortable, enjoyable. Every moment they spent together made everything feel better, greater. She knew it wouldn't last forever, that eventually their relationship would change.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Jane whispered. "I want to bottle this feeling."

"We've got our whole lives ahead of us," Maura said, trailing a finger across Jane's lip. "We've got a lifetime of moments like this."

"Do you ever think about the future?"

"I try not to." Maura rolled her eyes. "My father makes my future far more complicated than I would like."

"What if all of that was gone? What would you do?"

"Med school."

"Oh yeah." Jane perched herself up with her elbow. "You wanna be a doctor."

"Maybe."

"Only maybe?"

She shrugged. "It's hard to have goals knowing you are expected to become part of the Irish mob."

"Doctor Doyle," Jane said. "Paging Doctor Doyle!"

Maura groaned. "Think I'm going to need to change my name. I do not like the sound of that."

Jane laughed and rolled on top of Maura, silencing herself with a kiss. She trailed her hands down her body, and along her hips. "I used to dream of being a different person."

"What kind of person?"

"Someone who was free from Catholicism, from the ties of a family who don't get me. I thought about joining the circus when I was nine." She kissed her neck and along her collar bone. "Packed up a bag and everything until Frankie pointed out I didn't know any tricks, and I was clumsy, so I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things they do in the circus. I put my things back in my room and I got on with my day. I think that was the first time I realised that I was different, and that my family might not fully understand who I needed to be."

Maura interlinked her fingers across Jane's back. "I used to wish I was adopted. Then I could have a real family; two parents who loved me, who did everything they could to keep me safe. When I was six, I insisted that I was called Maura Isles. I think I heard the name on a television programme, and it made sense to me."

"Doctor Isles?" Jane pondered the name for a moment. She captured her lips again. "I like that name. I wish you could have had that life."

"Now," Maura said, pushing her back down onto the bed and straddling her. She thrust her hips against Jane's, sending spasms of joy through her body. She kissed her on the lips, then moved down her body until she reached her inner thighs. "Enough talking."

Jane closed her eyes as Maura's lips and tongue explored her body. She thrust her hips up to meet her, cupping one breast as pleasure rose up inside of her. She slipped her fingers into Maura's hair, holding her close as she sent her body into spasm. The faster she moved; the harder Jane thrust her body up to meet her until she was so close to the edge.

"What in God's fucking name are you fucking doing?"

They moved in unison. Jumping from their positions on the bed as the sound of the man's voice infiltrated the passion. Jane grappled with the bedsheets, pulled them around her body. She took one final glance at Maura, who'd climbed off the end of the bed and was wrapping herself up in a towel.

Jane didn't need to turn her head to know who was stood in the doorway. But when she finally looked at him, all she could see was unrestricted rage.

"Are you some kind of fucking dyke?" he asked, his mouth agape. The volume of his voice increased tenfold, as his face reddened, and his temple pulsed. "How long have you been fucking women? What the fuck was she even doing? Oh my God, Jane. You fucking…what the fuck…"

She climbed off the bed. Her heart raced so fast she thought she might vomit there and then. She stepped towards him but he backed up, his hands in the air like he was under arrest.

"Danny, I…"

"No." He kept moving backwards until he hit the edge of the door frame. "You're fucking disgusting. Who the fuck is this bitch?"

"Don't call her that." Jane pushed him out of the room. She took a quick glance over her shoulder. Maura stayed back, her eyes wide. Jane mouthed 'sorry' and rushed after Danny into the living room. "What are you doing here? I didn't give you a fucking key. How did you get in?"

"Didn't give me a fucking key so you could make this your little love nest with your fucking lesbian dyke girlfriend." He marched forward, jabbing his finger at her with every word. "You…I fucked you and you've been fucking her? I mean, she's fucking gorgeous, that body…but you're fucking dykes."

She could feel her own anger growing the more he spoke. She stood up tall. "Where. Did. You. Get. The. Fucking. Key?"

"Got it cut months ago," he said, shrugging. He pointed towards the bedroom door then back at Jane a couple of times. "You're gonna go in there and you're gonna tell her it's over. Okay? We can fix this. You don't need to live this life. We can be together. You can get some therapy. We're gonna get married. You and me, we're gonna get married and all of this will be over."

"No." She shook her head. Every ounce of confidence she didn't have in the past flooded her. She couldn't live this life anymore, she couldn't live in the shadows, fearful of what it would be like to be herself. She needed to step out from behind Danny and be who she was always meant to be. "I'm not marrying you. I never wanted to marry you."

"You're lying." His eyes glossed over, raging once more. He stepped forward quickly, so close that Jane could smell his breath. "You are gonna marry me, Jane. You are gonna walk down that fucking aisle and marry me. You said yes. I have rights. You said you would marry me and you're gonna fucking do it. Do you understand?"

"I won't," she shouted. "I won't marry you, you're horrible. I hate you. I never really loved you."

He lifted his hand so fast and smacked it across her face. She recoiled. The feel of his handprint across her cheek stung. Her hands began to shake. He'd never hit her before. They'd argued, and he'd been rough, but never before had he actually hit her.

"I fucking hate you," she screamed, slapping him back. He smacked her again twice as hard and she backed away slowly. He marched towards her, flailing his arms out to hit her again.

"Get your hands off her!" Maura shouted, appearing from the bedroom fully clothed. She lunged at Danny, knocking him to the ground and pushing her arm up against his neck. "You don't fucking touch her again. Do you understand?"

Jane hovered by Maura's side, fearful of what might happen, but desperate to protect Maura from Danny's wrath.

"I won't take orders from bitch dykes," Danny said, then spat in her face.

Maura wiped the spit away with her hand and punched him in the nose. He let out a squeal. She pressed harder against his neck until he gasped for breath. "You don't fucking understand me. I know people who can do serious damage to people I do not like. You think I'm fucking gorgeous? Think again. If you touch Jane, I will fuck you up. Got it?"

He nodded. Maura released her arm from his neck. Slowly, she climbed off him and wrapped an arm around Jane's waist.

"Leave," Jane said, her voice growing in strength again. "Fucking leave before I call the cops."

"This isn't over," Danny said, getting close to Jane again. He jumped forward, making her spring back in fear. With a smirk on his face he headed for the door. "Enjoy your bitch dyke lovemaking, because this is far from over."

X

Fully dressed, Jane headed out into the living room to find Maura cleaning up the mess left behind in Danny's wake. She placed a mug of coffee on the counter and Jane drank it quickly.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked, covering her hand. "That was…horrible."

"I'll be alright." Maybe if she said it enough times, she might actually start to believe it to be true. "I need to go to my parents."

"So soon?"

"You don't understand," Jane said, breathing in slowly, trying to steady her shattered breathing. "I know what Danny's like. If he's not already over there, I'll be fucking surprised."

"You think he'd tell them?" Maura asked, emptying the dregs of coffee from her own mug and giving it a rinse. "Do you really think he'd be that vindictive?"

"I do." Jane downed the rest of her drink and placed the mug on the counter. "I need to get the locks changed; I'll call someone later."

"I'll do that." Maura wrapped her arms around Jane, and she settled into her embrace. "Go and speak to your family. I'll make sure your locks are changed."

"Thank you," Jane said, kissing her quickly. She grabbed a jacket, her keys and cell phone and rushed out of the apartment.

X

When Jane opened the door to her parents' house, everything was silent. Danny's car was parked on the street outside, which was the first sign that he had done the unthinkable. She took a moment by the door, breathing in slowly to calm herself down. She regretted not bringing Maura along for moral support, but it was too late now.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli."

She closed her eyes at the sound of her father's voice from the living room. She took another deep breath in, then out, before heading to the room. Sat in his wheelchair, her father's eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions she couldn't fully understand. Beside him, her mother held his hand. Frankie and Tommy sat on the couch, while Danny paced back and forth in front of them.

"We know everything," Frank said, his voice steady. She'd heard her father shout many times throughout her life, but she always knew she was in trouble when he went calm. "Daniel has been kind enough to share with us what you've been doing. He told us you've been having an affair, cheating on him for months…with a woman."

Danny perched on the edge of the couch beside Tommy, his lips curved into a vindictive smirk. "Your family deserved to know the truth."

"The truth?" She scoffed. "You don't know shit."

"Don't I?"

"Ma, Pop," Jane said, turning to her parents. She stepped forward, looking them in the eyes as she tried to find the words she'd prepared earlier. "Danny's upset because I don't love him, and I don't want to marry him."

Frank let out a brief laugh. "Did you cheat on Danny?"

"Yes, but…"

"You were unfaithful to the man you were gonna marry, Jane." The tension in his voice grew exponentially. "I did not raise you to be this woman. You're a disgrace to me, to your mother, to this whole family. A woman, Jane. What will people think of us? We didn't raise you as some carpet munching lady boy fucker."

Her father's words hit her hard. She'd heard them before aimed at others, but never at herself. All these years she'd hidden herself from him in the hopes that she'd never have to see the look on his face. Yet here she was.

"I'm gay," she said, through tears. "I'm gay, I've always been gay, I just didn't understand it before. I don't want to be with Danny because he's a man. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't mean to upset anybody."

"Doesn't matter anymore." Frank gripped Angela's hand. "Does it, Angie?"

"What?" she asked, looking up. Frank tugged her hand. "No, it doesn't."

"You're not welcome in this home anymore, Jane." The calm returned and Jane felt her heart break in two. "This is not your home. You are not a Rizzoli. You can be a gay lesbian dyke boy if you want to be, but not under my roof, not in my family."

"Ma?" Jane looked to her mother, desperate for the woman who'd waved a tiny olive branch at the hospital, but she shrugged and walked out of the room. Jane felt tears on her face. "Ma!"

"How does it feel now, bitch?" Danny asked, forcing a kiss onto her lips as he headed into the dining room.

Tommy shuffled out of the room after his mother, followed closely behind by Frankie. Leaving Jane and her father behind. She edged closer, so many questions flooded her mind.

"I ruined my life for you," she said, keeping her voice low to avoid the rest of the family hearing. "I did it all for you, for the family, and this is how you repay me?"

"You made your choice," he said, through gritted teeth. "You could have let me die."

She gasped, his words hitting just as hard as the ones before. "No, I couldn't. You're my Pop. Tommy's still in school, Ma depends on you. I had no choice. You gave me no choice…you know I used to be scared of you, but not anymore. You're a pathetic little man who doesn't care who he hurts. You ruined my future so that you didn't have to tell your wife what a sad excuse for a person you really are. You think you get to tell me I can't be part of the family? I don't want to be part of it anymore. I don't want to be your daughter."

She turned tailed and rushed to the door, only stopping briefly when she heard her father speak once more.

"Go fuck your lady boy and don't come crying to me if it all falls apart the second anybody finds out about your disgusting lifestyle. You made your choice, Jane, and you're never to set foot in this house again."

She spun around, venom in her voice. "Fuck you, Frank!"