Chapter Nineteen: Stand Your Ground

Bella's POV

"I can't believe in twenty-four hours I'm going to be Mrs. Cullen!" Kate said gleefully as the rehearsal dinner came to a close.

"Katherine Eve Cullen does have a nice ring to it," A bridesmaid, Anna, laughed. It was strange to hear be referred to her legal name since no one in the Cullen family ever called her that.

"Please don't use my full name," She grimaced and then smiled.

I looked over my shoulder to see what she was looking at and smiled. Emmett was holding Lucy and rocking back and forth to soothe her. It was way past her bedtime, but she was usually pretty good about falling asleep in random places.

Tonight they were not as lucky and she started crying twenty minutes ago and had just calmed down.

"What was your wedding day like, Bella?" Her bridesmaid, Bree, asked as she finished her fourth cocktail of the evening.

I tried to hide my laughed as she slurred her words a bit. "It was small and pretty casual. Nothing like this." Even the rehearsal dinner had been big and beautiful, but Edward said Kate's family was loaded. Her great-grandfather was this big oil tycoon and they'd been living comfortably ever since.

"I always wanted a smaller wedding," Kate admitted. "Mom wanted an even bigger wedding."

"This was her compromise," Emmett said as he put a sleeping Lucy in Kate's arms. "I need to use the bathroom and then I'll take her back."

Suddenly I felt someone sit down behind me and set his chin on my shoulder. He gave the back of my neck a tender kiss and sighed happily. "If you got remarried, would you want something like this?" Bree asked.

Both Edward and I stiffened.

Of course the longer we dated the more I thought about getting married. I loved him and I thought it would be amazing to spend the rest of our lives together. However, despite how much I loved him there was a small part that didn't want to get married again. Part of me just wanted to be with him forever without the marriage.

It was silly. Jake and I were so young when we got married and the main reason we got married so quickly was because of Brady. If Edward and I got married it would be completely different.

"This is way too over the top for me," I shrugged. "I think it's beautiful and this is perfect for you, Kate. I'm more of a simple girl though."

"Trust me, I'd love a simpler wedding," Kate admitted.

After the party started to die down Edward and I decided it was time to head home. The kids were having a hard time staying awake and tomorrow was going to be an exhausting day.

Once we got to my house, Brady zombie walked into the house and Edward left Caroline sleeping in the backseat while he walked me to the front door.

"You looked beautiful tonight," He whispered as his arms snaked around my waist and his hands rested on my ass.

I smiled. "How many times are you going to say that?"

"Not sure. Probably a few more times."

I leaned in and kissed him. "You feel ready for tomorrow? Have your speech all ready to go?"

"I've had this speech written for months, I'm more than ready."

"I can't wait to see you in that suit."

He kissed my cheek and cleared his throat. "I can't wait for you to rip my suit off."

"Oh," I whispered as he kissed me again. I wanted nothing more than to pull him inside but the kids were with us. "Tomorrow," I panted.

"Can't wait," He gave me one last soft kiss before pushing my door open. "Love you."

"I love you too," I gushed as I went inside the house.

I went upstairs to check on Brady and he was passed out in his boxers and his undershirt. I pulled his blankets up and gave him a soft kiss. After making sure everything was locked up, I went upstairs to get ready for my bed and went to sleep dreaming of tomorrow.

Weddings were magical.

"Mom! Nana is here!" Brady called from downstairs as I tied my robe. I wrapped my hair in a towel and went down to say hello. Brady already had his overnight bag sitting at the front door and he was ready to get going.

Phil was going to take him to Safeco Field and had a tour set up. I was shocked when he offered to set it up but since it was November and baseball season was over it was a good time to do this.

Brady was bouncing up and down at the front door when I came down.

"Brady, are you excited about something?" I joked and he sighed loudly. Apparently he didn't appreciate my joke.

"Have a wonderful time, sweetie," Mom smiled as she hugged me. Jake had an important business dinner or he would have taken Brady a night early. But I knew mom was dying to have some alone time with Brady again since she hadn't had any since school started.

"I will, thanks."

"Take lots of pictures."

"Okay," I smiled as I hugged Brady. I reminded him to use his manners on the tour and to thank the tour guide. I gave mom the number of the hotel Edward and I were staying at after the wedding and told her to call if anything happened.

She rolled her eyes and just told me to have a good time again.

When they were gone I went upstairs to start getting ready. I wouldn't see Edward until the reception since he was the best man but he said if I got there early enough he would sneak out of the room and come say hi.

I dried my hair and turned the curling iron on. Once it was hot enough I spent too much time trying to get my hair to curl the way I wanted it to and once I was happy enough I did my best to pull some of it out of my face and started on my makeup.

After putting some makeup on I went into my closet to get my dress. Alice had helped me pick out a beautiful dark teal dress. It was a deep V-neck that went down a few inches past the knee. It was covered in a subtle lace and I had to admit Alice did a great job finding me a dress. I finished off the outfit with some simple jewelry and nude heels and headed down to the car.

When I arrived at the venue, it took my breath away. Dark red and light pink covered the place but it was done very tastefully. Kate had been telling me about the wedding for months and it was amazing to see everything come together so beautifully.

I texted Edward that I was in the lobby of the hotel and he came jogging out a few minutes later. When I saw him coming towards me I lost my breath. He looked incredible in his black tux and maroon tie. He was clean-shaven and had gotten a hair cut this morning before meeting his brother.

"You look amazing," He whispered as he reached me and gave me a gentle kiss.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I giggled as he kissed my nose. "How's your brother?"

"Surprisingly calm," He told me. "He's been kind of a mess all week and today he's cool as a cucumber."

I shrugged. "I was the same way."

"I was the opposite," He told me. "I was so ready the entire week and then I froze right before I was supposed to go into the ceremony."

"How'd you unfreeze?"

"Emmett pushed me," He laughed as he looked at his watch. "I gotta go. Do you want me to introduce you to some people to sit with?"

"Like who?"

"My cousin, Carmen, and her husband are here already," He said. "I think I heard Kate put you at their table with her parents and a few friends from college."

I nodded and he kissed me one more time before going back into where the ceremony was. He found two people sitting close to the front and when they saw him they both smiled.

"Edward!" The girl I assumed was Carmen jumped up and hugged him. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"It feels that way," Edward smiled as he shook the guy's hand. "Carmen and Eleazar, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella."

"Hi, Bella," Carmen smiled at me. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" I asked.

"Aunt Esme has not been able to shut up about Edward's new love."

I looked up at Edward who was blushing and blushed myself.

"I'm going to leave Bella here with you guys if that's okay."

"We'll keep her company," Eleazar assured him. He kissed me one last time before disappearing again. The three of us chatted for a few minutes before the officiant took his spot at the altar. The boys walked in and then the bridesmaids started walking down the aisle. Caroline then walked down the aisle pulling Lucy in a little white wagon and she started clapping when she saw Emmett. He moved from his spot to pick her up, give her a kiss, and handed her to Esme.

After the girls made their way down the aisle, Kate's bridesmaids started down.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward though.

The music suddenly changed and everyone was instructed to stand. I looked back and saw Kate look as beautiful as ever in her wedding dress. It was a gorgeous mermaid style dress with crystals covering the top and tapering off at the bottom. She had tears in her eyes and when I looked back at Emmett he was crying too.

"Mama!" Lucy cried from upfront. Kate stopped for a second to kiss her daughter and proceed the rest of the way to her groom.

"Wow," Emmett laughed as he grabbed Kate's hand. "You look so beautiful."

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the officiant asked.

Her dad took a big breath. "Her mother and I do."

He sat down with Kate's mom and the officiant asked everyone to be seated.

Their ceremony was very beautiful. I had no idea that inside the giant goofball was an incredibly sweet and thoughtful man. His vows were so well written and you could tell how much he loved Kate. I was in tears when he was finished and Kate had to take a few seconds to compose herself.

Her vows were just as beautiful. She talked about finding her forever protector and how she couldn't wait to have more babies and grow old together.

After the exchanging of the rings and the "I do's" the officiant pronounced them husband and wife.

"Finally!" Emmett cheered as he kissed his bride. The room erupted into applause and I looked at Edward, who winked at me. The newlyweds made their way back up the aisle and picked Lucy up on the way. Lucy laughed as Emmett tossed her into the air before handing her back to Kate. Edward stopped at my row to give me a quick kiss before the bridesmaid he was with pulled him along.

Cocktail hour was surprisingly pleasant and Carmen introduced me to her mom and dad, Sasha and Vic. The four of them were very easy to get along with but that didn't surprise me because Sasha was just like Esme.

After cocktail hour we were invited into the dining room for dinner. Maroons and pinks were everywhere again but it was so classy just like the ceremony. There was a big dance floor in the middle and a long table for the wedding party.

The five of us found our table and we were seated with a few of Emmett's friends from college. The DJ paused the music and introduced the wedding party. When they were all standing at the table, he introduced the bride and groom.

The two of them looked like they were floating on air.

After dinner, Edward came over and pulled me away. He walked me up to the table and introduced me to another cousin, Collin, and a few family friends.

"It's nice to meet you guys," I smiled as they winked at Edward.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please gather around the dance floor for the bride and grooms first dance!" The DJ announced and I pulled Edward to the edge. Emmett pulled Kate out and pulled her close to him as they swayed to Die a Happy Man by Thomas Rhett.

I leaned in close to Edward. "Look how happy they are."

He kissed the top of my head. "I know."

When their dance was over, they cut the cake and the party really started. The bar opened back up and Emmett's college friends started drinking. Edward was a social butterfly at the reception and he did his best to introduce me but I wanted him to enjoy this night and not feel obligated to entertain me the entire time.

I liked watching him in his element. He was so comfortable and relaxed with his friends and family from Forks. He wasn't uptight by any means but this was different. I wondered when he'd invite me to see the town he grew up in.

Then the tiny voice in the back of my head reminded me that it was Rosalie's town and he probably didn't want to bring another girl home there.

After saying goodnight to Caroline since Mariah had agreed to pick her up when she reached peak exhaustion, a soft piano song began to play.

"I love when you sing to me," I whispered as I rested my head on his chest. We held each other close while we danced and when the song was over, the DJ made an announcement that it was time for the toast.

"Be right back," He kissed me before running back to the bridal party table. The Maid of Honor, Kate's sister Irina, spoke first before giving the microphone to Edward.

"Hi everyone. For those of you who don't know I'm Edward, Emmett's older brother," He said. "Since I'm four years older than Emmett I wasn't exactly thrilled when my mom told me she was going to have another baby. But once I got to know Emmett...I realized he wasn't so bad.

"Emmett and I have always been best friends and I have to give him some credit for giving me the courage to really go for it with my wife, Rosalie. Even though he's four years younger than I am, he was always very wise when it came to the early days of our relationship.

"And ten years ago he stood by my side as I married the love of my life. I never would have made it through that day without him and I'm so honored to have stood next to you today.

"It's because of Emmett's compassion and loyalty that I was able to make it through the darkest times of my life. I know that no matter what happens, I can count on my little brother. My best friend.

"And I'll end with this quote that Emmett said to me on my wedding day, ...congrats man, you finally found someone who can stand you long enough to spend forever with. I hope you and Kate are as happy as Rosalie and I were.

"To the happy couple!" Edward raised his glass and I had this weird pit in my stomach. His toast made me feel very uneasy about our relationship and like he was trying to rub. something in my face. I had always been understanding of Rosalie and encouraged him to tell me his feelings.

But this was different.

It was like he'd forgotten I was even there and acted like he hadn't been in love with anyone since Rosalie died.

Like he was pining for her every day and hadn't moved on.

And I knew, or at least I had thought, that neither of those things were true.

I stood up to go use the restroom and right after I'd left the ballroom, I felt someone grab my hand. I turned around and saw Edward smiling at me and I tried to smile back at him but I couldn't muster it.

"Bathroom break?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah," I tried pulling away from him but he wouldn't let me go.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied. "A little tired."

He pulled me back. "Bella," He urged and I knew he didn't believe me.

"Am I ever going to be enough for you?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, looking confused.

"I know that I'm not Rosalie but am I enough for you?"

"Bella, come on," He sighed like he didn't want to talk about it. And I wondered if it was because of where we were or if he just wanted to avoid the conversation.

"Because I'm beginning to think that she's the gold trophy and I'm the trophy you get for participating."

"Where did this come from?"

I sighed. "Your toast."

"What about my toast?"

"Edward, you are not this dense."

"Well right now I am. Please enlighten me."

"You talked an awful lot about Rosalie…"

"She was my wife, Bella," Now he sounded annoyed with me which wasn't fair. I was just trying to have a conversation and figure things out.

Even though twenty minutes ago we were stupid happy and I didn't think things needed to be figured out.

I took a deep breath. "I know that, Edward. I'm not asking for you to replace her but I need to know if I'm just some consolation prize."

"Bella," He stood there and looked right in my eyes and said nothing. His silence spoke volumes to me and I pulled my hand out of his grip and took a step back.

"Oh...my god," I whispered as tears pulled in my eyes.

"I can't help how I feel," He said sadly. "I love you…"

"But not as much as you love Rosalie."

"She was my…"

"First love, I got it!" I snapped. "Edward, I'm not asking you to forget about her or your life together. I understand...God, I've been so understanding...but I want to know I at least have a place with you. That I'm not just the second place prize while Rosalie is constantly on this high pedestal."

"I don't put her on a pedestal."

I nodded. "You just did, Edward. Do I have a place with you?" I repeated the question.

"Bella…" That was all I needed. The fact that he couldn't immediately say yes told me a lot.

"I should go."

"Please," He begged and I heard him following me.

"What?"

"I don't...know what to do."

I stared at him with tears in my eyes. "Maybe we should take a break so you can figure things out."

"We're breaking up?" He looked crushed. "This is ridiculous."

"You need to think about what you want," I cried and turned around. I ran out of the building and found my car and began to sob.

I started my car and got on the road to get home. I was about halfway home when I realized I didn't want to be alone. I got off on a different exit and found myself sitting in front of Jake's apartment building.