Sorry for the late update, folks. I had finals to deal with.
Almost the last chapter. Chapter before the last chapter.
Disclaimers: Gintama isn't mine
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Takasugi was staring down at what remained of his soul, as he had been for the last few hours he was allowed to walk. There was no one else in the room, no other sound heard except the steady beeps of the ventilator and the small quiet breaths coming from the oxygen mask on Shuyo's face. Her body was in a state similar to his own – torn up, bandaged, set back into place and healing slowly.
But if there was one difference that was stark between the two of them right now, it was that one of them might not be holding a soul at all.
His mind flashed back to what had occurred about a month ago on Mt. Fuji.
After he had dragged Yamyra back to where Hiou was holding onto Shuyo's body, Yamyra had done something to Shuyo, making his abilities separate her soul from her body. That was something he hadn't expected to see.
But if there was something that he understood and was told to happen beforehand, it was that the former leader of the Tendoshu and the Master of the Noragami had tried to use that and devour her soul.
Just as a poisonous plant uses not its poison but its roots to stay in its place to kill off healthy rivals and take their place, Yamyra had warned Takasugi that even he would not be able to completely kill off the ancient soul he harbored inside of him, so he had to be aware.
The reason the Noragami's Master was able to live on for such a long time was because he used the souls of other creatures to sustain his own, but that also meant that he retained those numerous souls at the same time and made them a part of his own soul. After consuming so many souls, his personality twisted and his former identity was rotting away, and left only a persistent otherworldly evil that stubbornly lived while creating the perfect vessel to house that new soul.
Yamyra had been that vessel, and that Master had been slowly pouring a part of his own soul so that it would take deep root within him, bleeding him into something that was not him as the centuries passed. That was how the two were connected and how Yamyra himself lived for such a long time.
But now even that seemingly immortal life had run out when it met its match in Shoyou.
True to his promise, Yamyra had gotten Shuyo's soul in an effort to revive her, but Shoyou had come up instead and warded off the Noragami. How Shoyou had done it and why it was him, no one knew, but it had been done.
Takasugi had been shocked to his very center when he saw his teacher smile at him – the real Shoyou – and despite what the situation entailed, he had been aghast at how Shoyou had tried to hit Takasugi's head with a translucent hand.
Because time had been running out, the five of them (excluding Shoyou's wispy soul) had clambered on the ship awaiting their presence and took off just as the volcano started spewing lava.
What took place next… he couldn't remember. He had shortly lost his own conscious the moment the others rushed to him and Shuyo, and it had been at least a week later when he woke up in the recovery compartment, his body throbbing with pain but very alive.
He had rushed to find Shuyo, who was under a very heavy form of medical care, and ordered that no one else bother him on his time. Despite being heavily wounded himself, their leader was no less of what he was when he told them so, so his Kiheitai and the others let him be.
The first moment he stepped inside, he saw the thousands of lines of liquids, medicines, blood and an oxygen line were connected to her bandaged body, and needles pierced her smooth skin in ugly swarms.
But beyond that… he saw the pale figure that emanated a strange, warm and gold-gray light in a traditional kimono and haori. He saw that back which he could never reach and had never reached in front of him. With a nervous, shaking emotion in his chest, he had approached the wisp of a figure sitting on the bed where Shuyo was.
"S-sensei…" he had always been saying this honorific and called out to his teacher, but had never been given a reply. But this person moved around to face him, his grey eyes sparkling with warmth and lively.
When the figure moved his lips, he could hear a familiar voice echo in his head.
I see that you've grown taller, Shinsuke.
"Sensei." The words finally slipped from his lips like a cry as he staggered forward. It really was him. This was his teacher. "Is—is it really-,"
It is me, but it's also not. Shoyou interrupted, putting his hands into his haori sleeves. He was smiling, but that expression was stiff with a kind of gravity as he said, I will be candid, Shinsuke. I am not something that is supposed to exist in this world right now, and it is taking its toll on Shuyo's body.
"What do you mean?" He jerked his eyes to Shuyo's comatose state, his eyebrows coming together in a frown.
Shoyou also followed his student's gaze and turned back to Takasugi, Shuyo's told you about her bond with my soul, has she not?
"Yes, she said that your soul formed a whole with hers."
His ghost of a teacher nodded. Technically speaking, at that moment when she was… incapacitated, Shuyo had passed on. Her soul left her body for a while, and she hovered on in death, but her body didn't die. When her soul passed, I, who was her other half, was left to inhabit her body, no matter how much it was ruined. But I wanted to ask you, you see whether that was alright, so I continued to stay out of her body.
"But… where is Shuyo, then?"
As we changed positions in her body and I arose, I believe that she ended up sinking deep inside herself. But… I see that you're not using an honorific for her either, Shinsuke.
Takasugi dropped his head and wouldn't meet Shoyou's eyes at that. A lack of honorifics… it meant that the two were intimately acquainted with each other in classically civilized parts of Japan, but Takasugi had taken to saying it because of the way his nature was – blunt and uncaring. But to have that pointed out by his teacher, of all people… what would he think?
Shoyou paused, tilting his head at his student. Being a part of her soul, it was apparent enough to me that Shuyo regarded you to be more than her own life, placing you above everything. Keeping that in mind, what I want to ask is how you feel.
Takasugi opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The question was so sudden, and sounded so strange, coming from his teacher, that he didn't know what to say. No… was it because it was precisely due to his teacher being his teacher that it was so strange?
Coming from me, if I didn't know any better, Shinsuke, I would say that you're just as infatuated with my twin as I was about two hundred years ago.
Takasugi startled at the mix of a teasing tone and serious words, and as to what he was implying. "Eh…?"
This woman you called an 'old hag', Shinsuke, was quite literally all I had for hundreds of years after our parents died. I devoted most of my time to taking care of her, until I saw that a part of it had nothing to do with me being her brother. I loved her as I loved myself, and as I would love a woman. Ah, all those times.
Takasugi stared at his teacher, who had taken on a much serious tone. But that strange gleam in his eyes told him otherwise. "Sensei, I see that being dead hasn't quirked your horrible sense of humor."
I suppose that trying to play the role of a sis-con didn't suit me?
He saw Shoyou lift his face and laugh out loud, curling up into a seiza position and continue to laugh. The sound of his teacher's laughter echoed inside his head, and Takasugi let out a deep sigh, then smile for just a bit. If it was in front of his sensei, then he felt like he could revert back to being a child.
Of course that was a joke. It appears to have no effect on either you joining me in a good laugh, or you confessing, but, yes. Ah, Shinsuke, you grew up to be a very solidly serious man, are you not? Of course, not that you weren't when you were much younger, either. But that was whenever you were with Gintoki and Kotarou.
He flinched as his teacher brought up his former comrade's names, "Sensei… you don't know what I-,"
Being a part of Shuyo's soul and her mind has also let me know what has been going on, Shinsuke. I know what you've been doing, and how everyone else has been. Shoyou's cheery voice sounded solemn and sad, and Takasugi lowered his chin in a show of humility and shame, but did not break eye contact with him. He had imagined this moment thousands of time in his dreams and thoughts – what Shoyou might say on what he had been doing if he knew and met him in the land of the dead. But those imaginations paled in comparison to really being spoken to by his teacher (even if he wasn't technically alive).
I have seen what you did, and… Shinsuke… I have to say, I am not the man you saw me to be – enough for you to try and topple an entire nation. I am not worth any of that. But I know I cannot condemn you for what you have already done of your own volition. And I also know that no matter how much I can reprimand you or tell you to stop by using sweet convincing words that will soothe you, you will continue on. Shoyou stepped forward and put a hand on Takasugi's shoulder, and he shuddered at the strange warmth sinking into his skin from Shoyou's hand.
He looked up at his teacher, half expecting for him to continue scolding him. He saw only warmth in Shoyou's eyes, and the steel of a certain resolve. I will not stop you, but continue watching as I did. That is what Shuyo has decided as well, after all.
"Shuyo is just another nosy old hag who could have decided something better to do." He muttered, and Shoyou laughed out loud again at the young man's virile childishness.
Perhaps. It just comes with the age we get to at a certain point in life, Shinsuke. You're going to have to accept that if you want to accept that she's going to be at your side. Shoyou gave another small chuckle. But I wasn't lying about really loving my other half, Shinsuke. And this time, I will ask you again to choose, but at a cost.
The moment I step away from Shuyo's body, I will never appear again and just pass on to the other world. Because of what that man did, my soul no longer forms a half with Shuyo's. I can inhabit her body and stay on this Earth, but it would mean that Shuyo would leave, as two souls cannot stay in the same one.
"And… should you leave?"
If I leave, then it means she will leave a normal, mortal life again. I do not know whether she will come back whole because of our bond or wake soon after, but she will live on.
Takasugi's eye widened as Shoyou resumed, Of course, she'll still be several hundred years older than you are, as that cannot be changed, but she will age again as any mortal living does. That would be alright with you, no? Considering her and your…
Shoyou smiled warmly as he saw the other man avoid his eyes, a small flush rising on his face. It was apparent that he had gotten the message.
Then you will take care of my sister.
Something about those words was alarmingly final. It sounded like he was going to leave already, and Takasugi panicked inside, just a bit. He still had so much to say to him, things that he needed to ask and requests for more of his past lectures and - "Sensei – I –,"
But Shoyou was already half disappearing, his ethereal form looking as if was returning to Shuyo's body in a warm, soft light. Takasugi heard his teacher's last plea in his mind, Shuyo might scold me for leaving like this and all off on my own, too.
He could only give a melancholy smile in return to his transparent teacher, his mouth open but unable to form a sound.
I leave Shuyo to you, Shinsuke.
"Takasugi Shinsuke visited again yesterday, sensei." Hiou said out loud to the unconscious woman on the bed.
The ventilator was beeping in its usual rhythm, showing how steady Shuyo's pulse was. The bags of blood and liquid had been replaced and moved away as she no longer had any need for them. The bandages that wound around Shuyo's limbs were also gone, and it looked as if Shuyo was just sleeping.
But that pale face and motionless expression indicated that she wouldn't wake so readily.
"He never says anything around you, just comes in, stands there for hours staring down at you and then leaves. It's a really funny thing to see, since he's so quiescent and boorish. It's kind of like watching a dog waiting on their owner." The former Noragami continued, her voice low and almost teasing. It was such a stark difference to what she would had been like just over seven months ago when she was a Noragami. This was how she would have talked to her savior now… if she was awake.
She knew that she would never be answered with a vocal reply, but only a smile. And that would had been enough. It was better than this empty, godforsaken silence she was met with every single day. Shuyo was there with her, but she was not.
And the world went on as it should be, without her in it.
It felt wrong – strange. For centuries, this woman and her brother had endured the pain of death and were not allowed to die, and when they were needed most to others in time, it felt as if they were truly dead. No one else knew of their long and almost unnaturally immortal existences and that of their enemy except the select few. No one else would know of this woman who had saved so many lives and sacrificed much.
Even while she was allowed to stay near her teacher on the board of the Kiheitai, Takasugi and the others barely registered her presence if it was not for Shuyo. Even while he waited each day, Takasugi had gone on with his goal of setting out to destroy the country that abandoned and forgot his teacher. The rest of his organization followed their leader without second thought, contributing to the plans he'd set into motion.
She'd overheard them speaking about how they were going to ally with the Hitosubashi, the rivaling family and faction to the current shogun's Tokugawa stronghold. Just over two days ago, Takasugi had met with NobuNobu, the head of the Hitosubashi, and was planning to move his ready pieces across the board. Kamui, the Yato captain of the Harusame's 7th fleet, was already with him and providing his aid. Apparently, his debt had yet to be settled completely, and he had another sparked interest in what seemed to be another samurai.
Overthrowing the country… it would mean countless deaths, and ongoing pyres in the night for cities that would crumble to the ground. Had Shuyo been awake, she would have scolded Takasugi for going through with such a costly, ridiculous and destructive goal and stopped him.
No… was it that she already had warned him, and he only refused to listen?
"Sensei… if you were here… these things would not be happening. If you could stop him… only have stopped him before that man went on like this…" frustration welled up inside Hiou. She couldn't do anything but wait. "What did you see inside that man, sensei? What was it that had drawn you to him? All your lectures came to nothing, all your love came to nothing. He still goes on rampaging for revenge, and, you… you did everything you could, and yet…you're as good as dead."
What was she to do in such a hopeless situation? She had no influence, no goals, no ties or power in this place. What remained of her hope in Shuyo felt like it was dying with each setting Sun. Her pleas and questions went unanswered and unfulfilled.
"When? When will you come back?" her voice cracked as she posed the question.
Not even the flicker of an eyelid returned her empty questions.
The silence was filled with the shuddering sobs of a child who suffered alone.
Shuyo was sitting at the base of the sakura tree, her fingers splayed out as if to catch each falling petal in her palms. The paper-thin petals floated gently down like snowflakes, dancing in an almost nonexistent breeze.
She didn't know how long she had been here, but she knew that it didn't matter. Her mind strayed sometimes, wondering why she was here and who she was waiting for, but she knew that she had to wait.
Or was it that she was waiting for someone, a signal perhaps, so that she could go off on her own again?
Whichever was the case, she was there, and she was waiting.
"Sato no kou no tamato kara chiru sakura hana."
She turned to see someone walk towards her in the darkness, his entire being illuminated in an almost unearthly light.
"Trickling from
A child's sleeve
Sakura blossoms." She answered, smiling wryly. It was a poem that indicated the connection between a young mankind and the beautiful, enigmatic character of nature by illustrating the falling cherry blossoms and the child who was around to catch them, even finding some petals falling into his sleeve.
She stared at the person and stood. A lengthy silence ensued as she continued to observe him. What seemed to be an ethereal, almost inner light faded away to show a person… she felt she knew very well.
The person smiled at her, and she found herself smiling back at him.
Are you the person I've been waiting for? She wanted to ask, but when she stared at him for a while, she realized that he was not. She felt deep within herself, that there was someone else she was supposed to be waiting for.
"You've done so well without me, Shuyo." The words which were directed at her this time suddenly shook her. "You've grown some yourself too, haven't you?"
"Shoyou…" his name was on her lips as an unspeakable emotion burst inside her with the knowledge of why she and he were both here. Looking into his eyes, she already saw the answer. "You're choosing to leave again."
"… Yes."
There was no apology or excuse, just a simple answer to her question.
"At the very least… you're meeting me again one last time before you left." She said, and walked forward so that she was eye to eye with him. She saw herself reflected in those same grey eyes and held up a hand to touch his outstretched one. It was like looking into a mirror. "I was only able to go on as I did because you continued to be a part of my soul. How will I go forth now that you will no longer be with me?"
Her twin opened his arms and enfolded her gently to him. His embrace was warm and comforting… and it made her feel whole. She wanted to grieve at the fact that once he left, she would no longer feel the same wholeness ever again. But it was not her choice to make, and she would not be able to do anything about it. It was yet another thing she could not interfere with.
"I will not be with you in the way that you know. But I will always be with you in the form you do know now." He loosened his grip on her and smiled fondly at her. "He's waiting for you, this time. He's been waiting some time."
Even without him saying who it was, she knew. "Shoyou…"
"Thank you for living in my stead, Shuyo. Thank you for keeping your promise to me. Thank you for being my half and my soul while I lived." He did not say goodbye to her, and he did not sound bitter even as he must've known that she was the cause of his final death and separation. He only thanked her, letting her know that she was loved and free.
"You've lived all this time keeping that promise, Shuyo…" Shoyou's forehead touched hers, and he smiled at her warmly. "But you are no longer bound by any more obligations to me or anyone else… so, live, Shuyo. Live on and continue to smile with them in the Sun."
She wanted to cry. Cry like the child she felt she was, cry like the younger sister she was at this warmth. "I do not deserve to while you lived your last, Shoyou. I will never be able to walk again on this Earth without knowing that you died because of me."
"From the beginning, I had only paid for my actions with my death, and yet was able to save more because of it. But I will not see you falling apart because of me. Continue to love him, and begin loving yourself, Shuyo. You are not unworthy of redemption, no less than Shinsuke is. So please… live on, my loved one."
Shuyo held her breath as a trail of water trickled down her face. She could still feel his warmth, but his presence was already vanishing – moving on. Moving on from this part of the world, from this part of her very being.
For the first time in her life, she had never felt so incomplete and empty. But neither had she felt so light-hearted and at peace with herself.
He had taken her burdens with him and given her peace instead of his own presence. She smiled to herself, half amused and half melancholy. He acted as her brother and her half till the very end.
Shuyo turned to the sakura tree, alone. She stared up at its large and vast branches, the countless flowers hanging from them and marveled at its beauty. It was something she would see for the last time.
She reached out a hand to catch a falling sakura petal in her fingers and finally closed her eyes, smiling.
"You know, Shinsuke, it's already been almost a year since she's been sleeping. Don't you think it's time to let go?"
Takasugi only stared at the young space pirate who'd been leaning against the walls right outside the room where Shuyo stayed. He didn't visit as often as he would have liked anymore, and spared the time to come for her only every once in awhile, always somehow hoping, but foolishly hoping that she would be awake.
"I feel bad too, you know, since I never got a proper fight with her again after that incident." Kamui stood up again from the wall and faced Takasugi directly, his usual smile on his face. "But if it's too hard to let go, then why don't you let me-,"
"You only need to do what you need to do." He coldly replied, and walked away with his arms crossed inside his kimono and his katana at his side.
Nothing had changed since one year had passed. Shuyo still showed no signs of waking, let alone being alive. No smile graced her features; no ounce of life in any part of her. Her heart only beat inside her with a steady, slow thump… almost like a machine.
As time passed, he had seen no meaning in continuing to wait hopelessly and went on with his plans as usual, the only thing left as a purpose in his life. His hatred was his only solace and his only urge that kept him living.
And as he did, he once wondered… what would he have left, after he would fulfill his revenge and indeed destroy everything in this world? What was after the revenge?
Provided that he did not fail, would there be an after story for him?
No… he decided that it didn't matter and buried the thought, knowing that looking too far into the future would only cloud his present determination.
"Oi, Hiou," the woman turned to see that blonde haired guns-woman walk towards her with a sour frown on her face.
"What do you want, Matako?"
"I-," the other woman stopped, then continued in a low voice. "It had been some time, and I just wanted to know how… how she was doing."
Hiou gave a half smile. She had been living as a non-human being for so long that she'd forgotten how naïve and dishonest some people were when it came to things or people they cared about. "Sensei is still the same as she's been the past year, Matako."
Nodding, Matako turned to walk away, and Hiou stepped into the room where Shuyo was residing in. She'd become her caretaker over the past year, but refused to participate in any of the killings or Takasugi's plans unless it involved the innocent becoming hurt. That would have been what Shuyo wanted.
Sitting back in her chair beside Shuyo's bedside, Hiou checked whether the ventilators were still working and monitored Shuyo's state. She was about to turn and sit when she was sure that nothing had changed-
She froze at the sound of rustling sheets, and whipped around to look at the woman on the bed. It was true. Shuyo's fingers were slowly, but surely, twitching and curling around the sheets under her, and the slightest vibration wracked her peaceful expression.
"Sensei…?" she hesitantly and almost too excitedly, jumped over on the bed, anxious for any more signs of her awakening. "Sensei, can you hear me?"
Shuyo's lips moved, parting and open, as if for breath, and her lips formed the words of that person's name.
Hiou sighed a breath of relief, tears coming to her eyes. Finally. Finally, after all this time…
She staggered back, stumbling to get to the door in accordance with her sensei's wishes and retrieve that person. But she couldn't just leave her like this… so that meant she had to use someone else as a messenger to get him. As the door opened automatically, she grabbed the first man walking by and ordered, "Get your leader Takasugi here now. Tell him that Sensei is waking up."
Dun dun dun~!
I'll finish the last chapter and update it soon.
Stay tuned.