I directed the battle from my com and spent the afternoon pacing. I climbed up and down the crumbling steps, giving my lower body a vicious workout. At least my glutes and thighs will look incredible. I sat down at the top of the stairs, my legs shaking from fatigue. Darkness had fallen, shrouding Kiros in velvety night. The hum of insects filled the silence and the stars began to show their faces in the sky. I lifted my head when I heard Asha come out.

"He's asking for you," she gave me a tired smile. I leapt up and followed her. We walked briskly through the temple, which was far cleaner and better maintained than the exterior. The technology inside was antiquated but not unusable. I burst into the room and sighed with relief when I saw Ben sitting up.

"I'm sorry but this is the only other bed made. It shouldn't be a problem since you are married right?" Asha gave us an apologetic smile. My mouth gaped. "Congratulations Ben, I'm sorry I wasn't able to be at your wedding."

"Thanks Ahsoka, for everything," Ben said quietly. His voice was raspy but strong. I looked between them in consternation. Asha sighed, "I was Ahsoka once upon a forever ago but that part of my life is over. I'm only Asha now." I glared at her, I mistrust her even more now. She gave me little shrug, "I can't expect you to trust me but it seems like you will have to for now," and left.

As I glared at her retreating back in anger and confusion Ben put a warm hand on my arm. "I trust her. She was my teacher once. She even taught my uncle."

"The same uncle that tried to kill you?" I raised a skeptical brow. Ben gave me a wry smile, "The very same."

"You're family is messed up," I snorted daintily.

Ben laid back down. "You have no idea." Suddenly I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. I got my small travel bag and got ready for the night in the drafty bathroom. I went back into the dim room and motioned at him. Ben rolled over and relinquished my preferred left side of the bed. I climbed into the hard bed and turned a couple times to get comfortable. Ben slipped and arm over me and I curled into his side to get away from the cold. Our personal war has entered in a semi permanent state of détente. I was uncomfortable with the normality of routine we had. What was going to happen once I returned to the Navy? On the other hand, things were much more streamlined when Ben didn't fight me at every step.

Just as I was drifting to bed, Ben asked quietly, "Are you awake?"

My eyes snapped open and I glared celestial blue anger at him until he quailed. I was well and truly going to main him, disabled or not.

"What." I snarled with the grace of an Acklay.

"I'm hungry." Ben said timidly, shifting in place. The rustle of the sheets angered me unnecessarily. I was tired from directing the battle against the Rebels and I desperately needed sleep but here was Ben disturbing my peace.

"You should said something an hour ago!"

Ben cried plaintively, "I wasn't then!"

"Starve then!" I turned over in a huff.

His stomach made a furious grumble. "Could you make me a sandwich? Please? I still can't move." he continued wriggling in bed. At last I sat up.

"Fine," I acceded with bad grace. "Just so you can shut up. You better like peanut butter and jelly." I slid out of the bed and switched on the light spitefully.

Just as I reached the door, Bens voice halted me. "Um. I'm allergic to peanuts," he called quietly as if he was afraid I would hear but afraid that I wouldn't either.

I glared at him furiously and he actually flinches. I grabbed a pillow and smacked his weakened body a couple of times smothering his laughter. I stalked to the kitchenette and made a racket as I slapped together a half hazard sandwich, rattling utensils and plates. I walked back into the room and threw the sloppy sandwich on his chest.

"I'll be never wake you up again." He struggled to push himself up on the headboard. "Don't!" I reached out and caught a piece of turkey that fell from his sandwich. "Don't get it all over the bed!" I went to the bathroom and washed my hands before grabbing a towel. When I got back Ben finished his sandwich and made a mess. I sighed and threw the towel in his face. He raised his hand to grasp it but his reflexes were so slow it hit him in the face before he finished raising his hand. We laughed as he wiped the crumbs away and I went to bed.

Xxxxxxxx

In the morning I watched Asha or Ahsoka whoever she was, guide Ben through his physical therapy. She was dangerous, I noted. She moved with all the terrible grace of a nightmare. If I could guess, she would be an athletic fighter. She would focus on leaps, turns, and flips. I caught myself analyzing her as if I was going to duel. Shaking my head, I grabbed my com to return to my tasks. I fielded calls, leading the battle from behind. I drew out plans and predictions with a twig into the dirt at my feet.

We ate lunch and they continued with therapy until late at night. I was still directing Hux in the next movements. I had not wanted to bring my fighter planes into Kiros, the planet couldn't handle another firefight but it seemed like the Rebels weren't giving us a choice. I called the Scorpio and ordered 3 squadrons of star fighters to engage with the Rebels and to bombard the surface to route the ground forces. Meanwhile, I commanded more forces to aid General Hux. I told Hux to gather volunteers to be bait. The rest of the Togrutas would be evacuated and hidden. Once the Rebels come to save the Kiroans, my plan is to capture them for hostages and when they send more, I will continue holding them hostage until I needed to release them or execute them.

Sure enough, Hux reported. "The Rebels cell that was sent is captured," his eyes gleamed in the holo. I nodded in satisfaction. "Bury them." He paused, exchanging odd looks with the other officers. "Bury them up to their necks and space them 6 feet apart. How many are there?"

"6, Admiral." He said with little hesitation.

"Bury 3 of them in the courtyard of the governmental plaza and the rest in front of the hospital. If they are to be rescued, it will take time to dig them out and our most important locations: our headquarters and hospitals will be safe from bombardments." I said, looming over the holo. The men saluted and the holo flickered before the transmission ended.

Maybe I really did have the Force helping me out, I mused studying my plans. I could see what happened next in perfect clarity. Soon the distant sounds of explosions and gunfire died away, leaving behind echoes of warfare on the horizon.

I held my arms behind my back in a military stance and dictated the terms for surrender. A holocom brought me face to face with another general from the Resistance. My forces had routed the Rebels and cornered them. While I waited for the other general to accept surrender, a young man skidded into view. "You can't, General! You can't surrender!" My officers and I waited as the CO tried to calm the man and send him away. "We can't just let her win! She's by herself, she can't do anything without the rest of the First Order! If we just keep at it, we'll defeat them the way we did on Christophsis!" I shook in impotent fury. How dare he?! Some snot nosed punk of a boy implying that I needed the First Order to guide me to a victory that I've already won?! Before I could call off the parley and sentence them all to death, the CO rounded on the man and immediately charged him with insubordination. After the boy was dragged away in cuffs, howling in displeasure, the formalities were continued and the surrender complete.

I turned on my heel, already shaking with unreleased rage. Ben found me furiously going through my drills. I heard him take a breath and hold it. I wove through the stances like a dancer. I moved the saber again and again in the same motions until the blue blade was a sheet of blue light. My arms shook with exhaustion and my hair stuck unpleasantly to my face and neck. Sweat rolled down my temples and my back further fueling my anger. Memories played like a movie in the back of my mind.

I remember the final explosive argument I had with my father before I ran off to join the First Order's navy. After my brother's death, I refused to fence. It no longer gave me any joy. "I'm not doing this anymore," I said, throwing my blade on the ground at my father's useless feet. "Do it for your brother," Father said ruthlessly. "He would have wanted you to be able to win."

"Win what?! Apollo is gone!" I screamed. No matter how I pretend, I can never be him. Why can't you see that? Why can't I be enough as Artemis, your daughter? What must I do so that you will stop treating me as the inferior imitation of your son? My mind howled my fury and the unfairness of it all.

"Pick up the damn foil and get en guarde," Father ordered. Scowling, I went through the motions, waiting for practice to be over and my day to truly begin. After issuing several admonitions, each terser and more severe than the last, Father finally said, with barely leashed anger, "Do you want to become like me? Do you believe I have always been a cripple? No. I walked into the duel and never walked again afterward. You will not allow this to happen to you. You must be so good that you will win overwhelmingly. Because if you don't, if you have any weakness at all, your opponent will exploit it ruthlessly. And you are already at a disadvantage because you are a girl. Do you understand?" I stared at him, not because he'd raised his voice—he hadn't—but because of the sheen of tears in his eyes. "Do you understand?" he repeated, his words quiet, almost inaudible. I nodded, more in confused obedience than anything else. But I did practice much harder the next day. And the day after. And the day after that. And I have never let up since. I don't always love my training, but I love what that training enables me to do. Today, it has facilitated perfection.

I fell to my knees, breathing hard. I turned to see Ahsoka and Ben sitting open mouthed watching me. "Who taught you?" Ahsoka breathed, "You're as good as Count Dooku, the footwork, the blade work, you're a master!" I struggled to sit down. "My father taught me."

"What's wrong?" Ben ventured once I had tossed the saber aside. My eyes blazed blue fury. A snarl emerged making him jump. A Rebel has the audacity to bring up the massacre at Christophisis.

I kicked at a pebble, "He reminded me of my failure."

"You can't win every battle," Ben said gently.

I turned away stubbornly, refusing his sympathy. "You don't understand."

Ahsoka came forth and placed a hand on my shoulder in silent understanding. I gave her a curt nod but didn't meet her eyes. She left quietly leaving me with Ben's inevitable questions.

"Then help me understand. Is this about your other half?"

I nodded, my throat tight, tears burning at the back of my throat. "You still remember that?"

"Who is he?" He insisted.

I weighed my choices. Keeping my past from Ben was getting harder and harder, maybe it was time for him to know the real Artemis. "I wasn't always like this." I motioned at myself. "I wasn't so cold, so unhappy. I had a twin. He was my everything, I loved him more than my own self. He was so bright, so happy, so so full of life. He was a doctor and he was the head of the medical mission on Hablo during the Blue Virus outbreak. It was supposed to be neutral territory but those wretched Rebels reneged on the treaty and bombed the First Order medical centers. They said that they thought they were weapons warehouses. What a lie." I scoffed in disgust. "Not only did they kill all medical personal, they murdered the indigenous people of the planet. All that escaped the bombings died instead from the Virus."

I sighed. "I was offworld engaging on my first campaign in Christophisis as a student in the Academy." It's been 2 years but my heart is still broken, it hurt to remember my desperate flight to Hablo. I abandoned my post and subsequently the First Order lost Christophisis. "I lost everything on that day," I whispered. "I lost Christophisis, my rank, and my brother all in one day. I went to Hablo but I was too late. Then I had nothing to show for it." I stood, wrapping my arms tightly around my slender body trying to shield myself from the memories.

"Tell me about Apollo," Ben spoke softly, breaking the silence.

I closed my eyes, I can still see him in front of me. Of all my beautiful siblings, he was the most beautiful. His bronze skin flushed with health over a lean and muscular body. His hair was molten gold to my polished silver. We were 2 sides of the same coin, 2 heavenly bodies in the sky. He the sun and I the moon. He softened the sting of my tongue and I strengthened his gentle voice. The only thing we shared was our eyes. Mine were the dark blue of twilight, of deep pools and endless space. His was the brightness of flame of the relentless sky. We were perfect and gleaming with the beauty and strength of youth.

For the first time, I spoke about my brother and the love I held for him. Ben listened quietly and I talked until my throat hurt. " I loved him so much I refused to share. No other man or woman was allowed to near him but myself. Now I regretted it. For if he had a child, a part of him would still be left for me in this galaxy. I was blinded by privilege." I felt the wetness on my cheeks and I wiped away my tears.

"Artemis, you couldn't have known. It's alright." Ben wrapped me into his embrace and I sagged against him. "It's going to be alright." I held him tightly, wishing I could believe him.