A/N: This chapter has been lightly edited, so please forgive any mistakes. I hope your quarantines are going well. This chapter is a sad one for Draco, but I hope to write something happier for him soon. I will also extend the chapter count again, but I'm not sure by how much.

TW: a major case of the sads.

Draco hated parties.

More specifically, Draco hated parties where he had to sit and eat food in front of two dozen people. He walked into Blaise's backyard and was immediately assaulted by shouts of, "UNCLE DRACO!" He scooped Scarlett up into his arms and hugged her tightly to his chest.

"Missed you, Scarlett."

"Missed you, too!" she replied, overly excited. "Dad said Uncle Blaise made cake!"

Draco smiled as Sebastien tugged on his robe.

"Is Hermione coming?"

"She should be here soon—"

"HERMIONE!"

Draco was all but forgotten once Hermione stepped through the door. Sebastien ran over to her and immediately asked about one of the new creatures he'd seen in a book. Draco whispered in Scarlett's ear,

"Does your brother like Hermione more than he likes me?"

"No," she giggled. "She makes you happy, so he wants her to stay."

"Oh."

"She's more fun than Miss Tori."

That was a train of thought Draco did not need to follow. He slowly walked over to Hermione, who listened to each of Sebastien's questions with rapt attention. Draco gently nudged Seb with his foot and asked,

"What are you two talking about?"

"Did you know Hermione flew on the back of a REAL DRAGON?!"

"Well she wasn't the one trying to steer."

That was a voice Draco hadn't heard in awhile. His posture went a bit rigid when Potter hugged Hermione. He wasn't jealous. He definitely didn't envy the ease with which they held each other, or how Hermione relaxed beneath his touch.

Potter asked, "How was it?"

"Beautiful, actually," Hermione replied as he stepped back. "They're so ... committed."

Alicia Weasley appeared almost out of nowhere to hug Hermione and say, "That's usually what a marriage is meant to be."

"Yes, well, I suppose second time around is the charm for some of us," Hermione shot back.

Draco choked back a laugh. As Mrs. Potter greeted Hermione with yet another hug, Ron fucking Weasley joined the circle. Draco tried to slowly extricate himself from the group, but it was for naught.

"Malfoy?" Weasley asked, every word coated with disdain. "What are you doing here?"

Draco raised one eyebrow, surprised even Weasley would ask such a stupid question.

"I am first chair at my best friend's wedding, and you are asking why I am at the reception?"

"I meant why are you right here?"

"Ah, yes, apologies for intruding on your golden circle" Draco said, dripping sarcasm. Scarlett frowned as Draco held his hand out to Sebastien. "My godchildren and I were just leaving."

"But ... Hermione was gonna tell me about the dragon!"

"Another time, Seb," Draco said. He glared at Weasley. "She needs time with her friends."

Hermione insisted, "You don't have to go."

"You're right," Draco agreed. "Seb can stay and the three of you tell him about your daring escape from Gringotts."

Hermione grabbed his wrist as he turned away. Draco looked down at her hand, then glanced up at her eyes, wondering what she expected to happen. They both knew he couldn't stay without getting into a confrontation with Weasley. Blaise and Dean deserved better than that, so Draco would swallow every insult on the tip of his tongue and turn away.

She asked, "Save me a seat?"

Draco nodded.

"Of course."

As they walked away, Scarlett huffed and crossed her arms.

"I don't like him," she said. "He's mean."

"Mhmm," Draco agreed. He paused. "But you know what?" He turned around and walked back to the circle.

Weasley asked, "You lost, Malfoy?"

"Not here for you, I'm here for Potter."

"What for?" Harry asked.

Draco chuckled, "Not you. The other one. Mrs. Potter is a Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies." He turned to face Ginny and said, "Scarlett wants to be a Quidditch player when she gets older."

"Really?" Ginny looked at Scarlett and asked, "Which position?"

"Chaser!"

"Do you practice?"

Scarlett nodded emphatically and said, "Uncle Draco takes me to practice every week!"

Draco left her with Ginny and bolted. He was counting down the minutes until it would be appropriate to leave. Right after dessert, probably. Maybe no one would notice. He spoke briefly with Luna Lovegood about a commission. She was wearing a tiered dress, each piece a different brightly-coloured pattern, and impossible to miss.

"Five pieces, if you'd be willing," he said.

Luna agreed wholeheartedly. She was a nice conversationalist when it came to art, but the minute it veered off ... Not the easiest discussion to exit. He said goodbye and wandered around the yard for a moment. He rarely went to the back of the house, but the space was massive. There was a giant tree in the far left corner and a fire pit in the far right. It felt like a home; something Draco was still searching for.

"Tracey says you and Granger might be next."

He turned to see Pansy leaning against a chair, watching all the drama unfold from a distance. Not her style; she was usually found in the thick of it. She looked good, had let her hair grow out into a longer bob and was wearing a dark green dress which clung to just about everything. The party, however, seemed to be happening around her. She had never been the friendliest person to Dean's side of the table. Longbottom, especially, but Hermione and Roger Davies weren't exactly on her list of favoured people.

Draco was surprised that she greeted him with a smile. Their last meeting hadn't ended happily.

"We're friends."

"Are we?"

"No, I meant me and ..." Draco grumbled. "Never mind. Yes, of course, we are friends, Pansy."

She whistled, "You look fantastic."

"You look wonderful, yourself."

There was a long pause before she said, "I don't regret what I did."

Draco agreed, "You shouldn't."

"You mean that?" Pansy asked, surprised. "Because you haven't talked to me, since I—"

"—Told me I needed to dump my girlfriend."

"Because she was rubbish!"

Draco conceded, "You were right."

"You're damn right I was! I was the only person who saw what she was doing to you, but I saw it. I wasn't going to watch you lose everything that makes you who you are. It looks like you changed your hair for her, too." Pansy rolled her eyes. "I told you she would play with you until she got bored."

"My hair was not her doing, but she left me in November."

"Theo told me a few days after it happened."

"She said all the things you said she would say. Worse things, if I am honest. You were right and I should have ended it before she did."

"It looks like you figured something out, though. You don't look like death anymore."

Draco looked around before whispering, "I have a therapist."

Pansy frowned and asked, "What the hell did Astoria say to you?"

"Nothing I feel like repeating."

"Draco, if what she said was what finally made you go ..."

"No," Draco shook his head. "It wasn't that. If anything, she probably stopped me from getting help earlier. I hear her voice in my head all the time, constantly reminding me how much I have to change ..." He sighed heavily. "My hair started falling out, Pans. That's why I finally told my father."

"Oh." She looked down at the ground and crossed her arms.

"What's wrong?"

"If I had been there, would you have come to me?"

Draco nodded, "But you weren't speaking to me and I was upset that I never listened to you. I could not come to you, begging for help. Not when you were right the entire time."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of around me," Pansy insisted. "You know that."

A chorus of applause broke out as Blaise and Dean finally entered the yard. Dean kissed his husband on the cheek before they made their way to opposite ends of the table. It sat ten on each side, plus the two of them at either end.

"I know," Draco assured her. "I know, and sometime soon we can discuss more. But right now—"

"Of course," Pansy nodded. "Blaise's day."

Draco was seated at Blaise's right, with Theo across the table and Bastien on Draco's right. Except, Bastien plucked his placard from the table and said,

"Padma's down toward Dean's end, so I've switched."

Blaise nodded, a sly smile on his face. Draco knew that look. He should not have been surprised when Hermione took Bastien's place, but his heart still managed a little flip.

"Padma's been interested in him for ages," Hermione said as she sat down. "I am surprised it took him so long to make a move."

"Some men can be rather thick-headed when it comes to a woman's interest," Theo said, giving Draco a pointed look. Before Draco could respond, he said, "Scarlett insisted on eating next to Mrs. Potter. If Scarlett cared half as much about Charms as she does Quidditch, she'd be levitating Quaffles by now."

Draco glanced down the table to see Sebastien happily situated between Potter and Weasley. Normally it would've made his blood boil to know Seb had chosen them over him, but he didn't have the energy to care. If Seb was having a nice time, it was worth it. After a few moments of conversation, Blaise stood up and said,

"Thank you for coming to our celebration. I have been married to Dean for about thirty minutes, and it has been the best half hour of my life. With that, dinner is served."

The food appeared on everyone's plates, and Draco told himself he could eat it. Or, well, enough of it; there was a whole section of fruit. He looked over at Blaise and mouthed Thank you. He nodded then made conversation elsewhere. Hermione dug into the food and mentioned,

"Sebastien loved hearing about our miraculous escape."

"I am sure he did," Draco agreed as he chopped up his chicken into small bits. "It is quite the story."

"He seemed to like Ron quite a lot."

"I knew there was something wrong with him," Draco teased.

Hermione rammed her elbow into his side and he laughed even harder. Even she couldn't hold back a smile. Draco choked out,

"My mother asked about you."

"I'm sure that was a pleasant conversation."

"Surprisingly," Draco revealed, "it was. Quite funny, actually. One of her friends saw us at Diagon Alley a few weeks ago and thought Scarlett and Sebastien were our kids."

Hermione threw her head back and laughed.

"Their hair is far too normal for them to be our kids."

Draco grinned.

"I agree completely."

They reentered the broader conversation. Draco ate some chicken, conscious of at least six pairs of eyes on him as he did. Pansy was less subtle than the rest of them, both by nature and only having been told about his recovery a minute before the meal. Hermione pulled her fruit plate to rest between them. Draco speared a piece of watermelon with his fork as Hermione stole a piece of his chicken. It was a natural thing, Draco taking her fruit and Hermione stealing bits off his plate. They did this every Saturday, but Dean's side of the table took special note.

One of the elves appeared at Blaise's side to say, "There is a visitor at the door, sir."

"Tell them to go away," Blaise answered. "We are having a party."

"She says it's urgent, sir."

"Ask Dean what he would like me to do."

The elf slowly trudged over to Dean's end of the table. Pansy followed it with her eyes, but she'd been sneaking glances at Katie Bell throughout the meal. Draco smiled; he'd seen that look a dozen times before.

Pansy asked, "Which team does Bell play for?" She was met by shrugs and the shaking heads and let out a frustrated groan. "I don't want to fly blind on this one."

Hermione huffed and said, "Her broom flies in your direction."

"Yes!" Pansy pumped her fist and leaned back. Target acquired.

The elf explained the situation to Dean, who made to stand but Potter stood instead. Some gallant notion about not letting Dean leave his own wedding reception.

Draco leaned over to Hermione and whispered, "You didn't need to tell her. She could have figured it out on her own."

Hermione shrugged.

"It will be easier on both of them if they know. Katie's been checking her out since she arrived and they're hardly subtle about it. Since I won't be shagging anyone after this, might as well help someone else with a shot."

"What about the man who captured your interest?" Draco asked. "No interest in an after-party?"

Hermione set down her fork and ran a hand through her hair.

"He's not ready."

"Not ready? What is there to wait for?"

"He's just ..." Hermione groaned in frustration. "He is not ready for a relationship now, is all."

"But—"

"Malfoy?" Potter's voice rang throughout the backyard. "It's for you."

Draco turned in his seat to see Astoria walk out, and immediately turned around to push his plate away. Why the hell was she there? Draco felt lightheaded, he could hardly believe this was happening. You're a bloody corpse. Half a man.

"Sorry, I told her to wait out front but she followed me in."

Hermione stood up and turned to face her before Draco could blink. There was an edge to her voice when she said,

"You need to leave."

Pansy walked around the table to stand next to Hermione and agreed, "You need to leave right now."

"I just need to give this back," Astoria said. "He left it at my place."

The robe. Oh, God, oh, Merlin's fucking arse, he grabbed his shirt and left the robe. There she was, returning it like he'd left it after a quick shag. Which, admittedly, almost happened. They hadn't, but it looked like they had ...

"MISS TORI!"

Sebastien shot out of his chair, and Draco assumed he ran to hug Astoria. He couldn't tell; he was facing the opposite direction, with Pansy and Hermione making themselves a barrier between them. That boy was a poor judge of people.

Blaise said, "Astoria, please leave my wedding reception before Hermione decides to drag you out by your hair."

"You got married?!" Astoria paused to survey the scene, noting the myriad of people and their attire. "Oh. I didn't ... I mean, Daphne said he's here every Saturday so I ... Congratulations?"

Draco wiped tears from his eyes. Goddamnit, he kept finding ways to ruin the day. He had to help things get back to normal. He stood up from his chair and stepped around Hermione, who grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Don't," she warned. "This will not end well for you."

He frowned and said, "I am hardly concerned about me right now."

"When are you ever?"

Draco gently ran his thumb across her knuckles then dropped her hand. He brushed past Astoria and said,

"Follow me."

He led her into the living area. The same place where he told Blaise about his condition. Anorexia had taken nearly everything from him, but he refused to let it ruin his friends. Astoria shut the door and offered Draco his robe.

"I want to apologize."

"I don't need your apology," Draco said. I need you to leave."

"Look, I didn't know it was a wedding, otherwise I would have found you another time. When I came to the manor your father slammed the door in my face. This was my best option."

"It doesn't matter, Astoria, I need you to leave."

"But—"

"Thank you for returning my robe. Now everyone in there thinks we had sex when the only thing I am trying to do is move on!"

"What the hell was that out there?" she asked. "Pansy wanted nothing to do with you as long as we were together. Blaise used to be my friend and now I don't know anything about him. When I left, Hermione Granger didn't give half a fuck about you—"

"Leave Hermione out of this!" Draco snapped.

"Why? Did you replace me with her?"

"As if Hermione could ever look at me that way? You said so yourself, no one will ever love me."

"I am sorry that what I said hurt you so deeply, but—"

"But what? Was, 'You are half a man,' meant to be a compliment? There is nothing you could have told me that is worse than what you said."

"I was frustrated!"

"And I needed you to understand what was happening to me!"

"I did!"

"And then you walked away!"

"I want this to work," Astoria pleaded. "We can make this work!"

"No, we can't!" Draco shouted. "This happened because you couldn't help me! You promised to become part of my family. But when you realized you couldn't fix me, you left."

He was shaking with rage, frustration, and a dozen more emotions he didn't understand. Astoria turned toward the door and Draco shouted,

"Go ahead, leave! I am used to it!"

She turned back to say, "You have to let that go. Our breakup was your fault."

"No, our relationship was my fault. I thought being with you would help me figure out how to move forward but you only made me hate myself more. I saw you as someone I could trust and would have come to you in my own time."

"You overestimated my patience."

"I overestimated your heart!"

Astoria recoiled like she'd been slapped. Strangely enough, that felt good. She had hurt him with the truth, he was simply repaying the favour.

"You were right, no one will ever love me; no one will ever do for me what Blaise just did for Dean." Draco pointed toward the backyard and said, "But no one out there has walked away from me! Those are my friends, the people I want in my life, and you are not one of them."

"I could be."

Yes, Draco supposed she could be. He could allow her back into his life so she could try to fix him again. There were moments with Astoria when he felt the way he always imagined love would feel. But love wasn't a momentary thing, was it? It was always there in another person. It was what Blaise had with Dean: yeast and flour.

"If you'll let me try again, I will do all of it."

"If you ever loved me, Astoria, even for a moment, just—" Draco's voice broke and he took a moment to gather his courage. "Please, walk away and leave me alone."

She nodded and turned around without looking his direction. The moment he heard the front door swing shut, Draco collapsed onto the sofa and broke down in sobs. He must've cried for a full minute before he could breathe again. Draco couldn't hold it in, the emotion of the day was too much and it had nowhere to go. Well, there was one place it could go.

Draco wiped his face and stood up. There was a bedroom at the front of the house on the second floor with its own bathroom. No one would think to look for him there for at least five minutes. He had only taken two steps by the time Theo appeared out of nowhere.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Upstairs."

"No, you're not. You are coming outside."

Draco shook his head and said, "Not like this. I can't."

"I know you feel like shit right now. Whatever is happening in your head is too much for you to handle and you are about to fall back into whatever death spiral you were in three months ago." Theo swallowed hard and grabbed the back of Draco's neck before he continued. "But I am not doing this again, sitting by and watching you tear yourself down until there's nothing left. I'm not doing it this time. You are going to get better, I promise. And when you do, you're going to walk into this house and see photos of Blaise and Dean on this day. When you look at those photos, I don't want you to remember Astoria or whatever else is making you feel like you can't have that same happiness."

Draco nodded.

"I want you to remember their vows to each other, so that when you're writing yours you know exactly how you are meant to feel. You'll remember how you didn't try to keep my kids away from Potter and Weasley, though you had every right to, because you know the sort of people we want them to be. When you think back on today I want you to remember Hermione stealing your food, the way she can't stand to be away from you, and how gorgeous she looks tonight."

"She does look nice."

"Yeah," Theo smiled. "Yeah, she does. Just for tonight, allow yourself to be happy. Astoria's not in your life, but we are. All of us who love you, who consider you a friend. A brother."

Draco wiped his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.

"You're right."

"I know I'm right you fucking git, but you have to try to be happy. Just tonight, alright?"

"Okay."

"We'll keep working on this with you. All of us. Together. Just give yourself tonight off."

"Okay."

"You're not too puffy, should be good to go."

"Okay."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!"

Theo dragged Draco to the backyard and everyone pretended not to glance over, but he felt all the eyes on him as he took his seat. Blaise looked concerned.

"I'm fine," Draco said with a watery smile. He shook his head and repeated, "She's gone. I am fine."

"Okay," Blaise replied.

He didn't buy it, and Draco regretted coming. He should've left after the ceremony. He was not up to this, no matter what Theo believed. He was not strong enough. Hermione took his hand underneath the table and twined their fingers together. It steadied everything enough for him to rejoin the conversation.

A few minutes later, Blaise and Dean cut into their cake. Dean smashed his plate into Blaise's face, who then pulled Dean down into a kiss so they were both broke away covered in frosting. Draco found himself laughing along, though the envy never faded.

Their first dance was wonderful. Draco danced with Hermione once, to a more upbeat song. He was happy to let his hands linger on her waist, trail his fingers down her back, it felt nice to be close to her. He also felt Weasley glaring holes in his back, but Draco never cared about him before. Why start?

Hermione stuck by him the rest of the night. Not clinging, but she was never away for too long. Enough time for Draco to speak with Romilda, to say hello to Gabriel, and even catch Pansy snogging Katie Bell behind the tree. Bastien left early with Padma, which was fantastic. They would work well together.

Hermione, three glasses of champagne deep, leaned into Draco's side.

"If I get married again," she said, "I hope it feels like this."

For the briefest moment, Draco allowed himself to wonder what it would feel like. He'd welcome them home every night. He wouldn't shrink away from their touch and wouldn't feel like he always needed to change. She would only want him to be who he was. He could keep inviting her into his life, introducing her to his friends, falling asleep on her couch ...

Oh.

Oh.

Then he realized he would never have any of it. Not with her. Draco made an excuse to leave; one he couldn't remember if he tried. He had done his duty, smiled through Blaise's wedding reception, and made some memories he wouldn't hate just as Theo asked. He Apparated to the manor, tossed his robe on the floor, and collapsed on the bed.

I made it.

I did it.

So why do I feel worse than ever?

A/N: I am working on another WIP, but I hope to have this one updated shortly. ❤️ Hope y'all stay happy and healthy!