FOUR POV

Chapter song : Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes

It was Saturday, 9:30 A.M. when I dropped her at her door. No phone calls, no face time, no texts. Nothing. I couldn't. Because I could feel her. I could feel her ending everything with that kiss at her doorstep. Heat burns where her lips had touched mine. Half on the cheek and half on my lips. The tiny hairs at the back of my neck stand up where her hands had been. My jawline burns where her lips had trailed a line of kisses. My chest, clear of scars but was warm today where her head rested while we danced together.

It is 6:00 A.M. Monday today. It has been 45 hours and 30 minutes 17 seconds exactly since we last met and she has been on my mind ever since. Not leaving me alone for even a moment.

I got distracted yesterday because she was on my mind. I accidently switched off the meat earlier leaving it undercooked. That made Marcus angry. Well. You know the story after that. He has been more aggressive lately. I think he is stressing more. Office shit. I get off my bed to make him breakfast this morning. It would be wise not to be late.

As I cook Marcus' lunch to be packed I go back to Saturday afternoon.My phone rings while I blankly stare at the ceiling trying to sleep, recover from my morning dose of Marcus.

Fucking Zeke.

FOUR: What the heck Zeke. I am trying to sleep.

ZEKE: No you tell me. Why the hell is my sheet washed, my bed made with some other fucking white sheet and why the heck am I finding a used condom in my bin.

He yells into my ear.Uh oh.

FOUR: How the hell am I supposed to know this.

ZEKE: Four don't you dare do this. I know it was you. I dont know man of it was after the party or during it. But there is a sweatshirt missing from your closet.

FOUR:Zeke are you spying on me.

ZEKE: What the fuck bro. You left your shirt and jeans from last night in my laundry.

FOUR:Ok I know, I put them there.

ZEKE: You're not telling me something. Who did you score it with uhhuh

I know he is grinning at the other side of the phone. I promised her. I can't.

FOUR: Yeah it was...Nita...'s friend.

More like enemy to be honest.

Zeke: You serious about her..

FOUR:Of course not. It was just... One night.Its true.

It was just one night... With her. A subtle disappointment settles in my chest.

ZEKE:Four man...I know what's coming.

ZEKE:It is time for you to find a Shauna for yourself. Be a committed man now... Come on.

FOUR:Zeke we have had this conversation.

ZEKE: But...

I cut the phone all before he can speak any further.

I have often wondered how would it be for dating someone... That long.

I finish up my work and set the table for Marcus. Get ready and wait for him to come downstairs.

Blue shirt and black pants. His usual office attire. He sits at the table and starts with his breakfast.

That is my cue. Everything is perfect. The breakfast and the lunch. I sneak away from the dining hall to my room.

As I get ready to go to school, thoughts stream through my mind. She would be there. Today. 46 hours and 57 minutes later. Looking fucking beautiful and I can't do anything else but look. I dont have the permission to do anything more.

I grab my jersey and get down to my car.

"You have a game today,Tobias?" I hear his voice.

"No sir. Extra practice"

"I will be early. I want you home by 5:00pm. We have... business to discuss." Marcus says.

"Yes sir." I say.

Something is wrong.

I enter the school and go to my locker. Beside hers. Tris Prior. I love how fierce she is. Always ready with a comeback. As I get my stuff organised in my locker. I hear someone knock at the back of my locker door.

I sigh roll my head back to look at the source of the voice. Sweet.

"So how is the number boy doing today?", Tris opens up her locker and gets her stuff in.

"Oh really now you're concerned about than huh?" I chuckle. "Aren't we enemies or something".

"Bro seriously." a laugh in her talk. "But yes..." she stabs my locker door back again at its place, looking me in the eye, her hand across from me. " we are still enemies." she smiles.

I can't help but laugh, leaning on to the locker, my back to it. "You're crazy."

She laughs. We had agreed that nothing would be different.

"You seem to be in a good mood today Prior." I say leaning on my locker, sideways.

Her smile has never collapsed.

"Triiiiiiiiiiiiissssssyyyyyy" a screeching voice screams in my ear and and boulders past me, towards Tris.

Fuck you Christina.

She slings her arm across her shoulder and looks around with a happy sigh.

"Ok Trissy" she says "so... How are you today!"

Tris looks at her a bit wary, "Whats gotten into you Chris".

"No nothing." she takes a good look at Tris. "You look... different. You know. Oh like." eyeing her up and down. "jumpy... More jumpy and..."

"Chris... What do you even mean." Tris continues digging through her locker.

"oooooo who have we got here today. Number boy huh? You don't have practice today." Chris says trying to divert attention.

"Chris-" I start.

"Christina. Get to point" Tris says, folding her arms. "What do you want?"

Chris sighs, "Okay okay, you got me".

"Can I ask you a huge favour? Pleaseeeeee"

"To the point Chris" Tris turns to the locker.

"So Will and I, we were supposed to go on a date tonight."

"mmmhm" Tris says.

"... but his 'step' cousin is coming over to Chicago today. This really was all not planned and... I dont want to cancel the date."

"look Chris", Tris turns to her side. "sometimes you just have to leave... I mean let go of..."

"No you listen to me Tris. Listen girl" her hand on her shoulders."You HAVE tocomeonadatetonight"

Woah. Jeez.

"What?"

Christina sighs, "Tris the only way we can go on this date is if you come along. So it will be a double date."

That freezes the frame for me. A fucking double date. No. Another guy.

Something bursts in me.

"ummmm Chris, I... am not sure. I mean I... Uh" Tris says.

"Oh god, come on, he is a nice guy. Pleasssseeee." Chris whines.

I try to look busy with my surroundings. Anything but her.

"Ohk just one date." Tris says. Smiling at Christina and biting that fucking lip.

"Omg Omg, I love you Tris."

"okay..." okay... Calm down Chris."

"I'll go tell Will. He is going to be so happpppyyyyy." Chris runs off. "Bye Four" I nod my head in response.

Tris shakes her head as if she couldn't believe herself. And mutters something to herself. She turns back to her locker to close it.

I put my back hard to my locker door. To push down that feeling... Something burning in my chest. My hands in my pocket, clenching at the fabric. I want to be in control. Control of my words and actions

"Sooooo... Um do you know this guy?"

I start. My Mind wanders to all the possibilities of the date. Tris kissing another guy. His hands on her. His face so close to hers. Their eyes never leaving each other's. Tris on his bed. Him inside of...

Stop.

"Who? "

"You know Will's... cousin." I venture. God shut the fuck up Four.

"No I mean, you know. Will has mentioned him a few times and he seems like a nice guy." she says.

I scoff. "So you are telling me that you would go out with the first guy you hear about and you know nothing about him."

"woah woah. Who says he is the first guy huh and I trust my friends. Anyways why do you care." she counters.

"Tris come on. Be sensible." I says.

"Jeez it's Just a date Four. Stop it." she shoulders her bag and walks away.

"Look... TRIS! PRIOR."

What if he is a d*ck.

WHAT if he forces himself upon her.

WHAT if he kisses her without consent.

WHAT if he really is perfect. I'll loose her. Forever.

I stand there staring at the empty hallway now. She rounded about a corner.

I never had her. How could I loose her.

What if she really wants this. She likes him too. They would be perfect. He would be happy and she would be happy. No shit to deal with. No belts. No need to hide anything. The perfect relationship.

Just because we slept together one night. I can't hold her back. From others. From anybody. No. It was that kiss. Half on my mouth, half on my cheeks which ended everything.