I AM SO STINKIN PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER.
It's really, really, really long, but I feel like it's still good quality. Like twelve thousand words. I thought about breaking into two, but then I didn't. Maybe I should have? Let me know.
If you need to take a break, I recommend taking one after Deora Ar Mo Chroi. It gets fairly intense after that for a long minute.
Pleasepleasepleeeeeeaaaassssee share your thoughts.
ONE REVIEW LAST CHAPTER! RKD-CULLEN, this is for you, you awesome-sauce!
Is something wrong? TELL ME PLEASE!
We're gonna be jumping time around JUST a touch, so I can show you what everyone was up to during Bella's badassery last chapter. Enjoy.
Also, the first scene is sort of an excerpt. Marcos is so cool and cynical and tortured. Damn, dude. Hard knock life.
Dedicated to those I have loved. Thanks for loving me.
SMUT AHEAD! LOTS OF IT! AW YEAH, ITS THAT TIME. NSFW smex.
Triggers for drug use, suicidal ideology, and bloodplay (did I mention the smut? Edward IS a vampire, ya'll.) Also, some Edward-emotional-whump. He goes through a lot in this chapter.
Links:
DeviantArt:
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Spotify:
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Youtube:
playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WBjrH3K4VloeS-C9zen8Qcf
Ao3:
/works/23991196/chapters/58180972
Zydrate Anatomy (Repo!)
Marcos rushed to where Bella had fallen as quickly as his battered form could take him; seeing her suddenly sated face as he approached, her glowing eyes. "No. NO. Please. Not this. Anything, everything but this. That sonofabitch. Bella. Isa, can you hear me?"
Bella's eyes were unfocused as she reached to trace her fingers through her commander's hair and Marcos cradled her form, pulling her off the floor and into his arms, resting her head on his knees.
"I can't feel nothing at all..." Bella almost moaned the words.
Marcos cried out as a heavy guitar began to ring violently through the dining hall. The noise called the attention of any Fae who were nearby to come see. Jasper had already run to find help and gather his family. Marcos' next words were bitter and apathetic, spoken in rhythm.
Drug market, sub-market,
Sometimes I wonder why I ever got in.
Blood market, love market,
Sometimes I wonder why they need me at all.
Emmett overcame his shock and approached his brave commander and his sister. "What do we do?"
"Nothing, there is nothing to do but wait. Even Jo won't be able to help her until at least tomorrow morning. She's too far gone."
"Okay, so that epically sucks: may Tomas burn in hell for all eternity. But Bella's not in pain, right? She'll just trip out, and tomorrow she'll be ok?"
Marcos barked a bitter laugh. "Trip out? Pain? No. Your sister is not feeling any pain at the moment. She's not feeling anything at all. See, zydrate comes in a little glass vial, and the little glass vial goes into the gun like a battery."
Bella's back arched suddenly where Marcos held her limp form, her eyes swirling and flaring, sparking like blue neon. A quiet moan escaped her, a strange breathy sound in a rhythm.
Hhh-hhh...
Marcos' only response was to tilt her head towards him and look into her eyes, then tilt Bella's head in his grasp, checking the puncture site.
And the zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy.
Hhh-hhh...
Marcos words and Bella's breath matched rhythm now, forming a halting, angry beat. The Cullens and Josephat were rushing towards them in the small crowd that parted in pathways to let them through.
Marcos' angry voice rang through the silent room, only broken by Edward's cry of despair when he was close enough to see Bella's limp form. Emmett met his brother's eyes as he crashed to his knees next to Bella. "She's not dead, Edward. She's gonna be okay." But Emmett suddenly wasn't so sure Bella was going to be okay, and Edward could read it in his thoughts.
And when the gun goes off, it sparks
And you're ready for anything!
When Edward touched Bella's cheekbones gently, taking in her glowing blue gaze for himself, Bella's back arched again, reaching for Edward blindly with her eyes on Marcos. When Bella blinked, her eyelids were as slow and sultry as her voice, and Emmett could see her lashes brush her skin before they opened again, backed by vivid blue irises.
Graverobber, graverobber,
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
Graverobber, graverobber,
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all!
Marcos grew angrier, and threw Bella's limp form at Edward and Emmett, getting up from his knees to pace a path, never taking his eyes from Bella's form. "And our queen is addicted to the knife. And addicted to the knife, she needs a little help with the agony, and a little help comes in a little glass vial in a gun pressed against her anatomy. And when the gun goes off Isabella is ready for anything."
Bella's voice was dangerous, broken and desperate as she cried out. "...Anything!"
Graverobber, graverobber,
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all...
Marcos and Bella were both whispering now, a creepy breathy chant, and Emmett was hit by the truth. Bella would be like this for hours, helpless and frightened, unaware of what was real. Emmett remembered the blood that had sprayed in the courtyard, robbing him of his choices, his dignity, with its siren song. He remembered Bella, still and kneeling in the dirt during her battle with the Shades, suddenly helpless and vulnerable.
"Bella" Edward was shaking his lover slightly, looking up to meet Josephat and Carlisle's pained, empty eyes. Josephat was clutching Rockabye to himself, sheilding her white eyes from the scene.
It's clean, it's clear, it's pure-
It's what?
It's rare.
It takes you there.
It what?
It takes you there.
It takes you there.
A little jump.
Before the cut!
Why agonize?
Anesthetize!
Bella drew Edward's eyes back to her, looking at him with her eyes still unfocused before she went limp once more, her head falling back on her neck over Edward's forearm; then screaming loud and long as her back arched, "I can't feel nothing at all!."
Marcos' voice was subdued and empty; hopeless. "No, I can't feel nothing at all."
Bring Me to Life
After Bella, Jasper, Emmett, and Marcos had left HQ for the badlands, a few moments had passed in silence. Then Alice had broken her family's tense, motionless watch, her eyes moving from Edward to where Kaedra had been leaned against the table, twirling Bella's signet in her hands and gazing dead-faced at the floor. "Fuck this."
Edward snapped his head around from where Bella had last stood as he read his sister's thoughts: desperate hope welled in him as he focused on her. "Alice?" Alice had turned and strode out the council chamber's doors towards Bella's office, snarling and walking quickly, purposefully.
When they reached Bella's office, Alice had picked up the iobairt where it lay innocently on the floor, beginning to slice repeatedly into her forearm frantically, reopening the wound each time it closed until venom dripped to the floor. She was struggling to pronounce a chant in a determined whisper. Her strokes got longer and less hesitant, her voice more and more angry, desperate; almost hissing the words. Carlisle cried out, approaching her; but Esme and Jo held him back. Esme was desperately attempting to explain the situation to Rosalie, who listened to her mother with panic on her face.
Alice's eyes flooded white and she dropped the small knife that was drenched with her venom and Bella's blood to the floor with stiff fingers. In sudden echoes around them, the group saw white mist, and through the mist Edward could see Bella striding through the courtyard of Tomas' castle.
Edward thought it couldn't get worse than watching Bella's "date" with Tomas, unable to do anything to help. All of it was unbearable, made all the worse by his distance. He lived through the possessive, protective fury that boiled in his veins as Tomas put his hands on Bella; the panic as the vision showed the desperate psychic lullaby Bella sent the Sighted toddler; the terror that raced through him as Alice's eyes flashed black and her Vision faded; white mist encompassed the images at the aggressive telepathic scream of the Master that echoed around Camp. Even the hysterical relief when Bella and the others flew through the portal and disappeared cut through him like a knife.
It couldn't be worse, and then Jasper burst into the room moments after Alice had come back to herself; words were rushing from his mouth as the soldier panicked. "Finally, there you are, I was getting worried! Come on—Bella is hurt somehow; I think Tomas dosed her. We got Rockabye; but she needs a healer. Hurry."
Edward's thoughts raced as fast as his body did through the halls of the castle; he was impatient with Josephat's Fae sprint, so many half-seconds slower than his own, as Jasper led them to the dining hall. If they had been forced to move at a mortal speed, he would've carried the healer regardless of his dangerous protest. When he saw the gathered crowd between him and his love, he growled wildly, and had to shove down his bloodlust. He shoved Fae aside briskly until the crowd got the picture and made way for him.
How bad could it be? Bella was back in HQ- she had thoroughly trounced that bastard; she had gotten Rockabye back and the child was mostly unscathed. He hated the thought of his love being in pain, prayed this was some harmless drug that Bella could easily overcome. Fae did drugs all the time; even if Marcos had insinuated at the club that this one was somehow bad: that didn't mean anything, he was a drug-dealer; a graverobber, as the Fae called them. Fae-magicks could fix it.
Then, Edward laid eyes on Bella in Marcos' arms on the floor and lost his damned mind. Marcos was singing some desperately angry song, and occasionally Bella sang with him, but for once Edward paid no attention to the music of the Fae.
He heard when Emmett told him Bella wasn't dead, his brother's comfort turning cold in him as he heard Emmett's frightening realizations. Every speck of his conscious mind was reaching for Bella; trying to break into the battleground of her silent mind.
He had to get in there, had to help. He couldn't even see Bella's doe-brown eyes—this was going to kill him. "Bella." He shook her slightly, needing her focus on him so he could see some hint of her thoughts to follow on her face. She grasped at the back of his neck, sloppily ran her hand along his jaw. Her head lifted for just a moment, but her focus was too weak, he couldn't see her thoughts on her face through the drug. Jasper could read nothing from Bella, blank space, though his brother was straining his gift towards her almost as hard as Edward was.
They had always laughed about Bella's silent mind: a combination of her alien bloodline, incredible power, and defenses that Bella had trained in all her life. Edward asked about it early on in his time in Havana, and Bella had giggled and gifted him her blush: saying she couldn't help it, it took a great deal of effort to let Edward in: that the binding currently made it impossible. It was annoying, but Edward hadn't minded much, too used to it.
He minded, now. He needed to be there, needed to be with his lover, share her pain. He glanced up at Jo and Carlisle; at the little girl with the incredible Sight that Bella had saved and loved as a parent, who waved at him even though her eyes were covered. He barely noticed as he sifted their minds for something to help her. No. No. No. There had to be something, anything.
His lover's hand messily met his jaw once more, pulling at his face, moving his eyes back to her lazily. Then, Bella was arching in pain as the chemical force of the drug raced through her veins, not meeting his eyes and screaming her hopelessness.
"I can't feel nothing at all!"
Edward's rushed, panicked thoughts stopped like a long rest on a sheet of music.
NO. Edward wouldn't believe it: Bella loved him, always. She always felt her love for him, always would. She had told him so. He believed her, would never stop believing her.
There!
Edward processed strange warmth, a golden glow in the back of his mind; it was weak and dim, but present, reaching for him. He reached back for it mentally: cradling it close, protecting it, when he could, from the electric blue that sparked along its surface, feeling the pervading numbness as he absorbed the drug's effects.
He lost track of the outside world, too engrossed in protecting the light of his lover's mind, but the song rose from the mist of Bella's mind as it rose from Bella's lips. The physical sound was completely secondary to this: everything was secondary to this connection to Bella in her faraway place.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down, into my core
Where I've become so numb, without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home
The mist began to solidify, shuddering and vibrating into a shining figure, then taking on Bella's visage. She was in chains again, straining to reach her hand to him through the pull the shadowy binds had on her limbs. Edward ran to her through an endless dark void; the only thing he could see was his shining golden lover, begging him for help.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Memories of his relationship with Bella flashed around him from Bella's mind as she desperately tried to hold onto the important parts of herself: Her leaving Miami in the dead of night, knowing it was the end of her fragile peace - the end of a lot of things; the spell she had cast on Charlie and Renee to get them to play along with her ruse,- her first glance of him, meeting his eyes from across the cafeteria at Forks High school. Their first conversation - panic and wonder and intrigue about this pale boy with the unusual eyes. An ancient text filled with spidery writing- Bella dropping the book to the floor of her bedroom with shock and racing for the ancient computer on her desk. Their meeting in Port Angeles from her perspective, their conversation in the car - Bella's shame and guilt as she forced herself to lie to him. Their first kiss was displayed in intimate detail—a sudden rush of lust and fear. James flashed by - another in a long string of violence she always brought on those she loved. The golden days before he left her flashed by too quickly to register Bella's thoughts, and suddenly Edward was watching himself leave Bella alone in the forest- feeling the hole in her chest tear further and further, growing through the long months he was gone- the addictive power of his face, even twisted and evil in the visions. Next were the hallucinations, unnoticed hunger, long nights screaming into the pillow, eyes white. Jacob was angry—Bella couldn't care less, the feel of the fall from the cliff had been amazing.
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Now she was in a car with Alice, a sleek yellow Porsche racing up the hillside towards Volterra and she hadn't slept in weeks; why would Edward do this- why couldn't she ever protect him, why, why, why? Throwing herself at him, the rush of the intimate hold- triumph and dregs of weariness as the adrenaline wore off warring within her. Standing in front of Aro, numb and realizing that Vampires had a whole world, just like Fae did.
And always, through every memory- constantly, always strengthening, was Love. Want, need, mine.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bella's mind was fascinating. Even with the haziness and unnatural ecstasy of the drug in her system, Bella was always two steps ahead of him. She had realized the potential for Edward,(- precious,-love,-so-much-love-and-want,- always,-) to help her the second she had registered his presence.
Edward had been right: she could still feel her love for him, pouring across the torn and empty landscape of her mind like life-giving water, a fire that didn't burn. Edward felt the earthquakes and tornadoes rage in his own soul, as everything he had thought or hoped about his lover was realized in her thoughts. Each emotion he showed her in response to the memories was consumed hungrily and met with that Love that staggered him. They met in the middle, his bright scarlet to her glowing gold, meshing like paints smeared across paper.
Bring me to life
Bring me to life
Edward held to his Bella in that dark space as the emptiness raged through her: bearing her numbness and letting her feel what he felt. Bella's emotions responded to his, her mental presence curling into him like a child afraid of the dark.
Frozen inside, without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are my life
Among the dead
Edward screamed his want, his incessant need for Bella: he was giving her something to focus on, some expression of his feelings for her. He was unsure if it was out loud, or in his mind: the song pouring from his lips.
(All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me)
I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
(there must be something more)
Bring me to life
They sang together, strong enough to overcome anything; and the chain around Bella's neck glowed vivid blue and pulled taught before snapping. Edward fought hard to keep Bella in his hold as the chains on her wrists and ankles pulled.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Edward clutched her close as her fears for the future raced through her: Carlisle with red eyes; Jasper laughing with bloodlust in his gaze; Emmett torturing someone, Rosalie in a seductive pose. Esme slapped a small child, and a crowd bowed before Alice. Edward - no, Edward!- was burning, over and over again in different scenarios. Bella had Seen these things, pursued them in the Dark to keep them from becoming reality: to protect her family from the Master's influence. The malevolent voice screamed to be heard in her mind, trapped somewhere beyond the rush of the chemicals that held it at bay—the price for the small relief of the Master's distance was entirely too high.
Bring me to life
Bring me to life
Bring me to life
Edward clutched Bella close in his mind, and outside the world of Edward-and-Bella, his family marveled.
Bella was coming around, the drug's effects weakening as Edward shared her burden.
Marcos was completely new again: awed and wonderstruck. Jo and Carlisle rushed to them, monitoring the two lovers closely and helping however they could. Tears streamed down Josephat's face as he put down the iobairt he would have used to kill his Queen, who had saved his daughter's life. Jasper was watching Rockabye's eyes flash from hazel to blinded-white rapidly: the echoes of Bella-and-Edward surrounded her as she Saw them, a wide smile on her young face. Alice and Rosalie had venom tears in their eyes. Esme and Emmett were twirling, ecstatic.
-Kaedra felt hope spread treacherous roots in her soul, everything in her shaken by the depth of what Bella and Edward shared. They were in love.
Deora ar Ma Chroi
Kaedra made sure the sudden change in her wasn't noticeable in her voice as she called into the sudden quiet. "Perhaps; with the situation apparently under control, it is time to move to a more private location?"
She was eyeing the Fae crowd warily: taking in the anger and heartbreak on Fae faces, the hope and wonder flitting to life on others. Carlisle looked up from where he knelt next to Edward-and-Bella. "I don't think we should break their physical contact, but we can probably move them somewhere more secure."
"Oh, trust us, no-one will get anywhere near her where we're going." Marcos deadpanned, his humor suddenly returning as the end of Bella's torture loomed nearer than hoped for; Edward could help her, thank God.
The group awkwardly jostled the couple, who seemed to absentmindedly take their direction, focused entirely inward with Bella's hand never leaving Edward's face, always in eye contact. Her eyes began to fade from their unnatural, glowing blue; there were specks of gold and brown showing through.
Kaedra led them to the basement, though she did not look at the throne room, instead turning to walk in the opposite direction, down a long, slim passage in the sandstone. Gradually, the stone grew cooler, gray and damp; springy moss grew beneath their feet. After a few more moments, Esme could hear a waterfall, see a light up ahead.
Esme reached to touch Bella's elbow in the narrow space, directing her Fae-daughter towards the soft light of stars where the path opened into a narrow cave that was half naturally-formed and half built: a slim waterfall was supported by an arch and a deep crevasse ran through the space. On either side of the crevasse where the waterfall fell into the abyss, there was wild greenness, vines that glowed softly with green light and trailed to meet the moss on the ground, though there was no way the sun could shine this far underground.
There were strange runes carved into the walls that shined silver and gold, forming what Esme had thought were stars. "Where are we?" Alice whispered, her eyes filmed with white mist as she ran her hand along one wall, over one of the runes that flared gently when she touched it.
Kaedra's voice was low, whispered and respectful. "Bella and her lovers found this place here when they were still young; it had been lost for eons. They kept it a secret between them until they revealed their intention to build Castle HQ here. No Fae quite know how it came to be, and Bella restricts access to all but the ten of us. It's ancient, way older than the throne room or Camp. Older than me even; it was probably formed In the Beginning. Bella was insistent that if ever I judged the risk of her succumbing to the Master's call to be too high, I should kill her immediately. When I told her I wouldn't, she made me promise to bring her here instead. Careful- Runes are powerful things."
Jasper was reaching towards a rune that seemed to whisper to him, flaring and enticing him to touch it. All around the cave, runes twinkled, moonlight bleeding from the strange symbols carved into the wall of the narrow cave. "Set them down here." Marcos motioned to a spot near the waterfall that was illuminated softly, on the opposite side of the river from the entrance.
They stood for a moment after Edward-and-Bella had settled absentmindedly on the soft moss, neither noticing the serene scene.
Then, Kaedra and Marcos corralled them out of the space and down the narrow hall and the lovers were left alone. It took Josephat, Marcos, and Kaedra to seal the entrance to the passageway with heavy magicks.
"There. She's as safe as she can be, and we are too. Even Isabella would have trouble breaking out of that place." Kaedra announced once the quiet group reached the staircase. "They'll be okay, vampires. They love each other." Esme looked around at her worn family, missing two pieces, but hopeful and full of faith. They would be okay. They would come home.
I Want You (mature)
Neither Edward nor Bella noticed their bodies' movement into the cave, though Bella registered when their family left, bright specks of color distancing themselves from her mind. Edward shared her sweet affection for their family, the pride, trust that was unbreakable. There was no room for jealousy here, and the love Bella held for his kin was different than the love-want-need that sang through her for him.
As the last of the drug faded from Bella's mind, The Master's voice snapped to full volume again, a deadly low chant of mine-anger-fear-take. Edward-and-Bella were baptized in hellfire, a thousand times worse than the pain of the change into a vampire, clutching to each other roughly as they were thrown back into their own bodies. Edward could still feel the golden presence of Bella in his mind, but her thoughts were distant: muffled and more suggestion than clarity.
Bella's back arched, and Edward threw himself over her form, sheltering her from mental pain with his cool stone flesh. When Bella opened her eyes to look at him, her eyes were doe-brown, the blue fading away from her irises like water down the drain. Her eyes were consumed-black momentarily, then flared with golden fire before settling once more.
Edward relished the sound of her heartbeat slowing in the surreal space, backed by the sound of water rushing, content in her safety, though he knew things were far from over.
I
The arch of Bella's back had brought her hips into glorious contact with Edward's pelvis, and Edward couldn't stop the possessive growl that rumbled through him at the flash of heat and intimacy. Bella's doe brown eyes focused on him with difficulty, still flashing with a translucent gold.
I
Edward registered the heat of her gaze less than a second before Bella rolled her hips into his once more with intention, gasping and clutching at his shirt over his shoulders.
I
Her heartbeat sped slightly, and it pulsed in Edward's ears as their desperation faded into sultry desire, fire that didn't burn. "Bella." His voice was hoarse, weak and begging.
I
"I'm sorry, I can't...I want you. You're too far away." Edward couldn't help but agree, missing the clutch of Bella's mind to his like a severed limb. He couldn't: They weren't married, Bella was still human. "Please- Edward, it hurts. Make it stop. Edward—Edward."
Her hips stuttered and rolled, seeking more heat to combat the sting of the Master's closeness. Her nipples brushed his chest where he was braced over her, and Edward could tell they were pebbled and hard. His mouth went dry. Bella's heartbeat seemed louder in his ears.
I
"Bella." he begged desperately, already shifting his weight to run a hand down her face. "I can't, Bella. You'll get hurt." "No-magick. Be my first." The memory of Bella's seductive damnation in the music room lit Edward up like kerosene. She cried out suddenly, gripping his shoulders hard with nails scratching as her body jerked. The last of the drug faded from her blood. She panted under him, going limp, glorious contact fading into too-much distance, always too-much. The adrenaline faded, but Edward could perceive the scent of Bella's arousal in the air.
I
He groaned, reaching for her and twisting so that she was pressed into his front on her side, her back to him, but he could still see her face over her shoulder. "Bella- don't. I'm too close here." His treacherous stone body was betraying him, and he wrapped his arm around Bella's waist, pressing her to himself lightly and letting her feel his hardness. Bella's eyes grew mischievous and teasing, and she rubbed her ass against him, a spike in the scent of her want.
Want
"Edward-" her voice was a persuasive purr: a request. "I want you to." Her voice grew rougher, seductive. "Please, Edward. I can beg, if you like." Edward couldn't stand it. Not one more second of the sound of her voice, the words she spoke, the feel of her body, that scent. He growled, flipping her onto her back in a quick, rough movement and bracing himself over her once more, his hand sliding along her ribs to her waist, across her navel, almost without his permission.
You
"Bella. I am not Atlas, my love. I cannot carry the world as you do."
"Touch me, Edward. I want to feel you." Her command was half-pleading, unable to keep her calm. She reached for his face, planting a light kiss on the corner of his mouth as she tugged him closer with the opposite hand on the back of his neck. She was sliding her body to brace against the curve of the stone under him, forcing his hand closer to her core with her movement. His vampiric sensitivity allowed him to feel the damp heat rising from her panties on his fingertips, through her dress. It was enough to break him.
You
He was silent, his eyes on her doe-brown ones, his focus every-inch on her, feeling the golden presence flare in joyous understanding at the back of his perception as he slid his hand slowly down, past her hips to the hem of her battle-dress, tracing the inside seam of her thighs. "Bella. My Bella. My love." The path under his fingers was warm, soft, smooth; until as he hooked his hand under her skirt and skated his fingers upward he felt the bumps of scar tissue: the bite mark on her thigh. The gold flared in alarm, but Bella pulled herself closer to him with the hand at the back of his neck. "Don't stop, please. I want you Edward, don't stop; don't let him steal it, stay."
You
Edward closed his eyes for just a moment, motionless save allowing Bella to pull his forehead to hers. "Stay, Edward. You'll never. I know you; I know you wouldn't. Touch me, please. I want you to. I want it, all of it, all the time. You are my lover, my only. My Edward."
You
Edward surrendered. He kept his eyes on hers, though he wanted to watch the path of his hand, wanted to see her most intimate place. There was time. He slipped his hand up her thigh and rubbed her through the lace of her panties. Bella inhaled sharply: scent, heat flaring. She was so warm, even softer here, silk under lace.
You
The need in Edward was rising and want was too. He battled them back with Love, affection and kept his pace slow, tucking his head into the junction of Bella's neck as he sought protection from the heat. It was a mistake: he should've realized. Her jugular was pulsing with her heartbeat centimeters from his lips, louder in the space now, and she tilted her head to give him better access, clutched at his back as his hand moved.
You
"Oh God." The words were a half-dirty prayer Edward hoped would never be answered as Bella rocked her hips. He squeezed his eyes closed, panting for unneeded air just to have her scent coat his lungs.
You
He could feel her dampness now, on the tips of fingers and pushed harder, grinding the base of his palm into her heat and sliding his fingers back, parting her through the lace, opening the door. Bella moaned wantonly, her head falling back on her neck, her legs spreading to accommodate him, welcoming him closer. "My Edward, please, mine. I trust you, love; please. Touch me."
He couldn't last one more second away from her, needed more than the damp on his fingertips. Her panties ripped as he tore them from her, plunging his fingers into her in a quick but careful movement and grinding the base of his palm against her clit.
Bella arched, her pebbled nipples stiff against his cold chest and she cried out, almost a scream. Her eyes flashed gold when she met his, and he lowered his head, clutched her to him, licking at her collarbone where it showed beneath the skimpy dress. "This dress, my Bella. You know you wear this dress,- Every. Goddamned. Day. What even is this fabric? It's sin, that's what it is." He pumped his fingers: softly, slowly. Teasing. Bella whimpered at him, soft mewls beginning to escape, though she tried to hold them back. He traced her bare chest through the scoop of her top with the tip of his tongue, lightly bit down on a hard nipple in reprimand through the slinky glittering fabric that had been his own private torture. "Let me hear you, love."
Oh, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want you. you. you. you. you. you. you.
Dirty, pulsing synth pounded in the air, light cymbals that were backing the sound of Bella's heartbeat: singing her want to him at his request. She cried out again at the sharp pressure of his teeth, something in her voice growing.
Edward wanted the sound, wanted to hear nothing else for the rest of his days. She was soaked now, and Edward felt the slide of her tightness against his long fingers smoothly as her hips lifted and fell with his steady thrust into her passage.
He was losing it, losing his control to the pound of her heartbeat, giving it away to her care.
So, what we gon' do
What we gon' do
He increased his pace, truly thrusting into her now, faster and faster. His reward for the decay of his control was realized when Bella slid her small hand down his chest, cupping him through his pants lightly: asking permission that Edward couldn't help but give, the jerk of his hips increasing the pressure of her hand against him.
What we gon' do
What we gon' do
Her hand on him through thin cloth was torture of the best kind, and Edward snarled as take appeared in his mind briefly, drowning it out with LoveLoveLove. Bella gasped, a ragged inhale as his fingers began to approach immortal speed, her passage clinging to him; her muscles tensed as she perceived his struggle and chose to trust him anyway.
I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want you. you. you. you. you. You. you; Oh, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want. you. You. You. You. You. You. you.
In the worse kinda way way, way, way, way, way, way.
Edward pulled his fingers away from her core like ripping a suture from a wound, manhandling her into a half-sit and tearing that sinful cloth away from her body over her head as she gasped at the loss of his touch. "Please, lover. Let me see you too, Edward."
I want you you you you, baby
So what we gon' do do do, baby
What we gon' do do do, baby
Edward had even less patience for his own clothing: Bella could materialize him one of those fancy suits anyway, after. As soon as he was bare, he clutched her close again, the feel of skin-against-skin heavenly. Edward had a flash of memory- himself watching Bella in her bed in Forks from the rocking chair, her in her ratty sweats and mumbling his name in her sleep. She would never wear clothes in their bed again if he could help it.
Love is on the way, all I got to say is
It won't let go
You can pray to early May, fast for 30 days
Still it won't let go, oh
He pulled back, denying the want of his hands to indulge his eyes.
Dear God.
Bella was slim, nubile. Her breasts were a perfect handful: round and heavy against her chest, her nipples dusky pink and peaked. A memory of Bella's dance at Club Clubbing flashed across his mind as he watched her take a breath, her hands gripping him hard over his thighs. Her waist narrowed under ribs before flaring, curving gently outward at her hips, long lines of bone creating a soft barrier around her lightly-shaded core before her thighs began. Long legs stretched to tangle with his, pressing her pretty feet into the back of his knees where they bore his weight against the floor.
Got a good book and got all in it, tried a little yoga for a minute
But it won't let go, oh
Tried to turn the sauna up to hotter, drunk a whole jar of holy water
But it won't let go, oh
His vision blurred as she rose to meet him, ran her fingertips sweetly down his chest, his stomach, and brushed at his pubic hair, her eyes trailing to follow the path of her hands before swinging up to meet his gaze- still-innocent brown irises but sheened in sultry gold that glittered in the soft light. For the first time, Edward had the space to think of privacy, of aloneness. None other would ever lay eyes on his Bella like this ever again. A soft rumble echoed in his chest like a purr.
In the worse kinda way way way way way way way
I want you you you you, baby
So what we gon' do, baby
She wrapped her small hand around the base of him, applying only the lightest of steady pressure between her index finger and her thumb, a thin band of sensation- the warmth of her hand. Her eyes were consuming him where they met his own topaz gaze, calming but somehow-not as adrenaline began to filter into his mind. His rush was answered eagerly by the gold in his mind, an invitation.
So what we gon' do, baby
He pushed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss, pouring into her mouth as he trapped her hand between their bodies and pushed her back into the ground beneath him, pressing himself in between her legs: which came up to wrap his waist, ankles crossed, trapping him there. Bella swiped her tongue across his lips, a playful demand for entrance, for the dance of tongues. Edward happily opened to her, tasting her mouth.
Love is on the way, all I got to say is
It won't let go
You can pray to early May, fast for 30 days
Still it won't let go, oh
Got good book and got all in it, tried a little yoga for a minute
But it won't let go, oh
Tried to turn the sauna up to hotter, drank a whole jar of holy water
But it won't let go, oh
As his tongue tangled with hers Edward had an impression sent to him from the gold in his mind, an unintentional echo of a thought: his tongue in a more intimate place. Oh, dear god. She was going to kill him, and he would die a happy, happy man. Their kiss had been fairly equal, but now Edward bore down further, taking everything he was being freely given as his protective possessiveness grew, tinged with just a touch of jealousy.
I
Bella surrendered to him, took the burden of his control fading away; and giving her's to him. She pressed her soft, firm flesh against his stone chest, ever closer.
I
Edward supported his weight with one arm, desperate, -so-desperate-want-want-need-everything-, rising in him, backed by the adrenaline and lust.
I
He backed off just enough to free her hand, to allow his hips to pull back, each centimeter costing him, air and space unwelcome here.
baby
Want you you you, baby
So what we gon' (uh) do do do do do do do do do do do do do
He thrust forward, rubbing his member against her heat in a quick, firm stroke so that her clit was dragged along the underside of his hardness. Bella arched helplessly, a half-scream leaving her throat before she bit it back.
I
Want you you you you you you you
His hand met the base of her neck where it met her chest, a firm reminder as he growled out the words. "No, Bella. I want to hear you love, don't hold back."
I
So what we gon' do
In the worse kinda way way way way way way way
I want you you you you, baby
So what we gon' do
Now what we gon' do
Her eyes met his, almost entirely consumed by gold now, whimpering constantly as her hand wrapped around his wrist at her throat, the other clutched into the soft green moss next to her hip. Edward felt a beat of innocent surprise as she pressed on his hand, increasing the pressure on her own throat before she mewled and groaned out quick, rushed words, rubbing her core against him greedily. "Edward, lover, please. I want you, need you. Inside- give it to me Edward please please please..."
I know you're a little nervous
(what we gone do)
I know you really want this
(what we gone do)
Edward swallowed against his suddenly-dry mouth, in that moment falling in love with her golden gaze as much as he had been with her doe-brown one. He couldn't have refused her if his life had depended on it. The half-second space of air between him and her as he pulled back again was hateful, made him angry. He thrust himself hard into her, before wonder and awe captured him; emotion stilling his movement as he was buried into her to the hilt.
Bella's eyes were wide with wonder as her flesh stretched and twitched around him, adjusting to his size; her fullness. Edward couldn't bear to end the long moment and couldn't bear the stillness a moment more. He might be damned, but heaven had nothing on this.
I can't believe the feeling
(what we gone do)
I feel it all over, feel it all over
(said what we gone do)
Babe, yeah baby
(so what we gone do)
You don't believe in love, you missing a good thing
(so what we gone do)
Because I'm-say
Because I'm genuine, I'm genuine, yeah
(so what we gone do)
Yeah baby
He couldn't decide: couldn't choose between lust and love; awe and heat, so Bella chose for him. She pressed her breasts against his chest tightly and scratched her nails down along his shoulder blades as she pulled back until only his tip was within her, bearing down and encompassing him again, just once. It was the creation of a new world, a rebirth—and Edward moved.
I don't want no trouble
Just a little loving (yeah)
I want to get to know ya (yeah)
I don't want your money (yeah)
You oughta get to know me (yeah)
My love'll make you wonder (yeah)
And lightning a thunder (yeah)
I get it from my mama (yeah)
His thrusts were unsteady at first, pausing at the hilt, a beat as he mentally struggled to force his hips away from her again; but soon he caught the rhythm of it, the clutch and release. His thrusts became smooth circles, Bella meeting him eagerly, faster and faster now.
Oh, I
I Want you you you you you you you
Do do do do do do do
Now what we gon' do
Fae-speed was superior to a human's, but nowhere near a vampire's, and Edward caught fire, lost control completely as he began to burn higher, dissolving into ash blown by the wind. Bella struggled to meet him, her own face growing desperate. The gold in his mind was reaching for him, fighting chains. Their lips met sloppily, panting into each other's mouths. Something was building between them now, the flare of fire's edge and deep earthquake, the rush of floodwaters.
I
I want you you you you you you you
O I
Want you you you you you you you
-the physical release, the fall, expanding into starlight as the silver runes on the walls of the cave flared-
It was swept up and carried on a physical rush of air that ruffled his hair and caressed his skin, but it was meaningless to him. He lost his mind, his individuality as Bella fell with him, her climax bursting through her like the flare of magic, the gold in her mind consuming his crimson, as his crimson consumed her gold, a never-ending circle. Love.
But Edward was a vampire, and the rush drove him to break the kiss, to wrench her head to the side as his opposite arm gave out and his weight trapped her to the floor, his teeth already sinking into her jugular.
Love on the Brain (mature)
Bella's ragged, broken moan broke his heart and shattered his soul as he jerked away from where her blood poured into his mouth, leaving the red fluid to stream enticingly down the length of her neck. He had to brace himself heavily before he pulled his member free of her, licked the wound to close it with his venom.
"Bella-Bella-no. God. No, I'm so sorry, Bella. Fuck, I'm- I'm sorry." He jerked himself away from her angelic form, leaping the narrow abyss to throw himself backward against the cool stone wall of the space. The runes burned like fire when he touched them, so he pushed his back into the wall hard, the pain a self-flagellation for breaking this wonderous thing. He had betrayed her. It was hell.
Bella had collapsed hard, her arms reaching into the open space where he had been, and she lowered her arms slowly, like in a trance. After a moment of panting to catch her breath, she drew herself into a sitting position, and somehow—Edward swallowed, hard. Somehow the sight of the vivid red stream of blood that dripped from her neck and off the swell of her breast was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even as the horror raced through him. He couldn't meet her eyes as he awaited her judgement.
"Wait-what? Edward, what the hell are you doing? Get over here."
Everything in his body screamed at him to acquiesce. Edward shook his head violently at the floor.
If he cast himself into the flooded abyss, would it kill him? Possibly.
"Edward, whatever the hell you are thinking right now, I want you to stop. Immediately."
The words were a Queen's order: an expectation to be followed without question. Edward remembered words, golden fire flaring to consume black, - if you wanna fight about it, throw a punch. Did she want to force him to live on, to exist without her? If she willed it, he would try. He would last as long as he could, try to protect his family from his sin, his insanity. Trust Bella to think of her precious people over punishing the Betrayer.
"Edward! Stop—those runes will burn you, they're really powerful." She jumped to her feet, walking the long way around the crevasse. Edward shoved himself into the wall as hard as he could, the pain welcome as her scent neared him, as he watched her glorious body's movement.
"Stop! Edward, what are you doing? You're scaring me, stop it."
She would not allow him the release of physical pain? Okay. He could do that; it wasn't helping anyway. He stepped away from the wall, carefully maintaining equal distance from her approaching form, but she came to him quickly. Her touch was undeserved benediction as she grasped his shoulder to turn him, to see his back.
"You look alright. Vampire skin, wow. You guys heal faster than anything." Edward hated his skin, he wanted Bella to step away: as if that could stop him from infecting her. He wanted her to be able to grip him hard enough to leave an everlasting bruise. The blessed-damned blood was still on his lips when he drew tortured breath, the scent of arousal and blood –Bella's blood- scenting the air.
"Edward? Yo, Edward. It was the most amazing thing to ever happen to me too; but I'm not mute, and neither are you. I admit, the afterglow was a little short, but hey, it's ok, it was perfect otherwise and I'm certainly not going to complain. Just next time, maybe—why aren't you talking?"
Bella snapped her fingers in front of his face, and Edward finally managed to process that she wasn't writhing on the ground in pain from his venom. His voice was halting, dripping with regret and shattered hope that was painful. "Bella. Bella, you're not..I'm so sorry."
Bella's doe-brown eyes narrowed at him, and she removed her hand from his shoulder. "Edward." her voice was deadly soft, dangerous. "What are you apologizing for? Be specific."
Edward couldn't understand how a confession could make it better. His sin was ever before him, but he could never deny her. His voice was whisper soft as he croaked, the words half bitten, poison on his tongue. "I-I bit you."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Uh, yes? I know, I was there. Is that why your freaking out? Magick, Edward, remember?" She flared a small flame in her hand, and Edward flinched. Would she burn him herself? It was too generous, the ending of his existence with fire from Bella's hands.
At his flinch, Bella grew suddenly serious, protective; she extinguished the small flame immediately. "Edward? Edward, what's wrong? Are you okay? I don't understand, tell me, let me help you."
Help him? She wanted to help him? He had bitten her, betrayed her in the worst way. He had hurt her. He deserved only the harshest treatment, immediate death if possible.
He told Bella as much, and her eyes widened in shock and alarm. Her words came out panicked and pleading. "WHAT? Edward—Edward, love, no. I'm fine, you didn't hurt me, honestly. I told you in the music room, I thought you understood. Edward."
"Edward, lover, I wanted you to bite me. I thought you realized that, I didn't mean to...ohmygod Edward. I didn't mean to make you snap if you didn't want to, I'm so, so, sorry. Please forgive me."
Now, her face was horrified. Was it a delayed reaction?
Wait, she wanted his forgiveness? What? Edward forced his mind to slow down, pulled himself out of his emotional panic and despair. Bella took a deep breath to center herself, an inhale, her exhale tinged with the scent of blood. She had bruises forming on her neck where he had gripped her tightly.
She reached for his hand, tangling her fingers with his and pulling him to sit on the moss at the base of the wall opposite the burning runes. "Let's back up. Are you saying you are upset because you bit me when you came, and that's why you were hurting yourself, why you were thinking—whatever you were thinking?"
"Upset? Bella, I betrayed you, betrayed your love, your trust. Please, don't make me live with the knowledge of what I've done, what I've destroyed."
"Okay. First, you didn't answer my question, so I still don't know what exactly it is you think you've done. Second, I know betrayal, intimately; and whatever that wondrousness was, that wasn't it. Not even close. Different stratosphere. And third, if you ever hint at me killing you ever again, I will lock you in this cave for all eternity and only come down to give you blood and sex. "
"Edward, you bit me. I wanted you to bite me. I cast the spell, the one I told you about in the music room that makes it where I don't turn. I knew you would stop before I was hurt. I liked it. I love you, you idiot, and you're a vampire. Why wouldn't I give you what you wanted? I've been curious about it, sort of. When I let myself think about it, I could never picture it. I wanted it Edward. I thought you did too."
"That's why I need you to forgive me, Edward. I didn't know you didn't want to. Sometimes, I push people too far, beyond what they can handle. I never meant to do that to you. I'm sorry."
Edward's thoughts picked up again, rushing like the water over the cliff's edge. Bella wanted that? Her ragged moan took on new meaning in his mind, and he suddenly pressed into the memory, instead of away. "You want that? You liked me drinking from you?"
"Uh - well, yeah. I liked it a lot, actually. But you don't have to, again. If you don't want to. It's not essential."
And that was the crux of it. It wasn't essential. Bella loved Edward, and he loved her. To her, her blood was a pleasure: a gift she could give him, one she enjoyed giving. She thought no more of it than that.
"Again?" Edward's voice was wonderous and horrified and musing, all at once.
Bella liked it. It brought her pleasure. His mind began to lighten, something in him changing. He didn't want to resist it, but he did anyway. It was like the first time he had heard Bella mumble his name, an unstoppable change sweeping over him, leaving him different than before, like waves on a beach. "You-you want me to do it again?"
"Edward, really you don't have to, if it freaks you out. I've always liked things, um. Well. Intense. In that way. I like the loss of control with someone I trust; but I get when something is too good, so wanted it's deadly. You told me I'm your brand of heroin, right? I always sort of thought my blood was like the Glow for you. So good, it's bad. It's not, like, a requirement or something. I mean, you don't have to. I'll always want whatever you want to give me, and no more."
Edward had never thought that Bella understood what it meant to be a vampire. He hadn't thought she could understand the pull, the deadly desire, that take in his mind. But Bella always meant the words she said. What was it she had said once—If he held the whip she wouldn't mind?
Edward would never desire Bella's pain, was horrified at the mere thought of it; but he couldn't deny the thought of his marks on her skin excited him. Her blood had always been a part of her draw on him, though that part was overshadowed more each day. Edward had buried it, left it to die and fade away: but now Bella was telling him he didn't have to, that he could have all of her, that she could give it to him, that she wanted to. Wonder grew in him once more, and he finally met his lover's eyes.
She arched a fine, curved brow at him. "Okay, lover. The muteness is getting really old. Say something, please. At least you look a little less like I have to worry about you around sharp objects. -Edward. Speak."
Sudden joy rocked through Edward as the transformation completed in his mind, in his heart, in his soul. Bella knew he was a vampire. She had always known it, always understood it. And she loved him anyway. She loved him not just in spite of it, but because of it. If Bella could love the vampiric side of him, he could too.
Instead of speaking, Edward pulled Bella towards him, into his lap, twisted her so her back was to him,—both of them were still naked from before. He kissed her lips first, teasing her with his tongue at the seam of them before he pulled away as she opened beneath him.
"I am so incredibly in love with you, Isabella Swan. I am never going to let you go. You are mine, my lover, my only. Always."
He whispered the words into her ear and felt the music begin again around him, relished the hint of renewed arousal in the air and the sound of bass drum accompanied by guitar. "I love you too, Edward."
And you got me like, oh
What you want from me? (What you want from me?)
And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high
Baby you got me like, oh, mm
You love when I fall apart (fall apart)
So you can put me together
And throw me against the wall
He licked the blood from her neck from collarbone to ear as she spoke, sucking hard on the curve of the sensitive flesh, and Bella arched her back, ground her ass into him, feeling him begin to harden. Her voice was almost laughing when she caught her breath enough to speak. "You're not going to freak out again, are you? I demand copious cuddling for what I missed earlier."
He grinned as he reached the impression his teeth had left on her flesh. "No freak-outs, just you-" He melded his mouth over the wound, laving at it to close it completely—he had done a poor job earlier. "- and me. And utter privacy. Where are we anyway? Is this heaven?"
Baby you got me like ah, woo, ah
Don't you stop loving me (loving me)
Don't quit loving me (loving me)
Just start loving me (loving me)
Bella was writhing under his attention, her muscles tensing and releasing as he played with her pink nipples, watched them pebble under his fingertips. "Hmm, what? Oh, this is the panic room. We won't be disturbed for a while, and I can tell when someone is COMING. Edward!"
Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire
Just to get close to you
Can we burn something, babe?
And I run for miles just to get a taste
Must be love on the brain
He had pinched her nipples hard, both at once, as soon as he understood their privacy would last. He held to them as her chest arched away from him, not letting up the steady, heavy pressure between his fingers. Bella mewled, tossed her head against his shoulder, muttered his name.
"Louder, Bella. What do you want?"
"You. You. Let me. Please, you have to let me...I want to taste you."
Edward's brain stopped, his adrenaline coursing, and he pinched her slightly harder than he meant to before he released her. Bella cried out; her voice heavy with want at the sharp pleasure-pain, and she ground back into him. He was fully hard now, curved back and almost leaking at the thought of her mouth on him there. "Bella. Yes. Oh yes, please."
That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)
It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain yeah
That was apparently all of the permission Bella needed and she scrambled up, offering him her hand though she knew he didn't need it. He took it anyway, the loss of contact as torturous as before.
She settled them against a portion of the wall with no runes etched into it, her turn to push herself close, to trap him. "Edward. It wasn't very nice of you to run away. I expect full recompense. I've dreamed this, you know. I could never imagine the wonder of you inside me properly, could never see it. But this?"
Her lips traced the shell of his ear, her hands gripping at his waist, his shoulder. Her voice turned sultry; a half-whispered moan Edward heard greedily. He wanted to drink the sound from her lips. "I'm not an angel, Edward. Every time you went hunting, every time you left me alone for the night, I'd think of this. I couldn't help it. I'd touch myself and think of what you might taste like."
And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)
No matter what I do, I'm no good without you
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
Edward knew it, had returned sooner than expected before, smelled hints of her arousal in the air of her bedroom. It had always made him hard. She had thought of him. God, he would never hunt again, never leave her alone.
The thought of Bella touching herself in her intimate place- even with the image of him in her silent mind- drove him nuts, and not entirely in a good way. "Mine." He growled. "No more imagining. No more touching. My job, my privilege. Reality."
Baby, keep loving me
Just love me, yeah
Just love me
All you need to do is love me, yeah
Got me like ah-ah-ah-ow
I'm tired of being played like a violin
What do I gotta do to get in your motherfuckin' heart?
He heard Bella swallow hard. "Yours." She murmured the word against his lips, her half-lidded eyes on his, and then she was touching him. A moan wrenched itself from his chest. He watched her eyes grow wide in response to the noise, rewarding him with one quick stroke from base to tip.
"There's your voice. I missed it." Bella teased, stepping closer still, dropping to her knees, working him lightly with one hand. She glanced at his face from under her eyelashes, as she gathered her hair over her left shoulder where the iobairt's scratches still lingered. - Had that been only this afternoon? Edward couldn't think through the long pulls, the steadily increasing tightness.
Baby like ah, woo, ah
Don't you stop loving me (loving me)
Don't quit loving me (loving me)
Just start loving me (loving me)
The feeling of her warm breath on his tip was ridiculously intimate, but Bella surprised him, moving past his tip to where her hand was wrapped around his base. Then, she followed the long upward stroke of her tightened hand with a stiffened, flat tongue- along the underside of his member from base to tip.
Oh, and babe I'm fist fighting with fire
Just to get close to you
Can we burn something, babe?
And I run for miles just to get a taste
Edward felt his hands come to grip Bella's shoulders roughly, but he couldn't have stopped them if he had tried. He moaned as his abs contracted, a shudder went through him. His eyes were on her face, and he saw pleasure race across it as she tasted him. Oh. Oh, God forgive him, he didn't care about anything at all but what would happen next.
Must be love on the brain
That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)
It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
Bella loosened her grip slightly as she ran her hand down him, but Edward didn't notice, too caught up in the heat of her mouth following her hand, taking him as far as she could in one long swallow. He cursed robustly: made his hands release her shoulders; though one was treacherous, tangling itself in her hair instead of digging into the stone behind him. Ancient cave -powerful runes- he didn't care. The whole place could have come crashing down and he wouldn't have noticed.
And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)
No matter what I do
I'm no good without you
And I can't get enough
Must be love on the brain
She sucked, hard, just as her hand released him and reached underneath, tugging lightly on his sack. Edward's vision was blurry again, and he shouted, his turn to arch wildly. His toes curled. "Bella!"
She hmmed around him, and the small vibration was more than enough to make him lose control. Bella said he could, wanted him to. He tightened his hand in her hair, warning her, and when she glanced up and took a long breath around him, he rolled his hips, expecting to meet the back of her throat.
But as he rolled his hips forward, Bella pushed towards him. Instead of stopping at the entrance to her throat, she took him all the way in, her lips nestled at his base. It was electric shock, lightening in his veins. He thrust harder, and Bella choked but didn't stop, gasping around his tip and sucking him down with each thrust, tugging lightly underneath him each time her lips touched the base of him.
She had done this before, in crueler circumstances.
The realization made Edward still, motionless for just a moment as he had been at the scar on her thigh. He tore his eyes from hers, took in the scars on her back with hatred and possessive fury, like when Tomas had put his hands on her. Bella pulled off of him, question in her eyes. "Edward? It's okay, I'm okay. I'm great, better than. Show me, let me help. Don't let him take it away."
Adrenaline and fury rose in him at the thought of anyone trying to take this away, unstoppable. There were so many who would try, who already had and already were.
He would undoubtedly hurt her, but her eyes were peaceful, accepting, wanting. Each motion of his hands was careful as he removed the hand that was tangled in her locks, tracing her cheekbones to her lips, swollen and red. He gently and continuously ran his hand across her bottom lip in a gentle swipe and released his grip on the wall, replaced one hand with the other in her hair, gripping hard as he tilted her face up to meet his gaze directly. Gripping painfully. She must understand this.
"Never again, Bella. I will kill them on the spot of they even think it, do you understand? Mine. My Bella. It hurts to think of it, like almost nothing else. I will never hurt you like that."
"I know." Bella's face was serene, happy, trusting; and then a slight shadow crossed it. "You don't...you know, mind?"
His control over his fury snapped.
"Mind? Bella. God, Bella how could I mind? They're evil. Nothing but. You are the bravest person I know. I love you. They could never understand that, never even begin to comprehend it. They will never, ever change that, or anything about this."
Bella's eyes grew awe-struck and he hated it, hated that her fascinating mind could even dream up the concept of him refusing anything she had to offer, because of them. He gripped her jaw hard, his voice vampiric and commanding. "Open."
She did. They started slow, cherishing the gift of the experience. But soon enough they caught fire again, and Edward did not let her go even when she choked, did not release his tight hold on her hair as he thrust into her mouth.
As he got closer to the edge of flame, his lust and his anger somehow merged, and he kept his eyes on Bella's face, monitored her breathing as he yanked on her hair, pushing and pulling, taking what she would give him freely once more.
She was deep-throating him with every stroke now, her neck completely relaxed as he controlled her speed, never faltering as she sucked him in over and over. He couldn't hold it, couldn't stop himself as his speed approached immortal and Bella's eyes watered, overtaken by gold.
He was so close, riding the edge when Bella suddenly re-took control, sucking hard, bobbing down to swallow around him greedily, squeezing him underneath and tugging at the same time.
His vision went white.
"Bella!" She suckled gently at him, swallowed every drop of his cum, bobbed with him as his hips jerked through the aftershocks.
If this was hell, he wasn't going anywhere.
Halo (PG-13)
"Can I try that?" Edward had calmed now, had pulled Bella up to his level and kissed her. Tasting himself in her mouth mixed with the sweet tang of her blood still on his lips had been a surprising pleasure, soothing his possessive side.
He was supporting Bella completely, his hands under her bottom and around her waist, leaning against the wall with her legs wrapped around his hips, sated completely but aware of a dreamy pulse of heat from the gold in the back of his mind.
"Well, you'd probably have to get some ribs removed, which I understand would be a challenge, given your skin's hardness. But I wish you could, it was completely fantastic.'
"No, silly girl. On you."
"Oh." Bella's eyes were wide as she canted her hips and leaned back so she could see his face. "Um, you want to?"
"A fair amount, but not if you don't want me to. You were thinking of it, earlier. It made me curious."
"No, I mean yes, I want you to. It's just, it has been a very long time since that."
Edward grew serious, feeling his heart crack in his chest, fury fading to sadness. "Why?"
"Um, well. You sure you wanna talk about this? Now?" She squirmed against him, a request to be let down. He tightened his hold.
"Bella."
She sighed in defeat, but it was a long moment before she relaxed against him, her decision made. "I mean, okay, so my pleasure wasn't exactly high priority during the less pleasant encounters I'm more...used to. None of them would, I wouldn't... there were some times: you just give up, do what you have to do regardless of the cost." Now her voice was sad, lost, and Edward clutched her closer, his grip tightening to almost-painful.
She wouldn't meet his eyes; she buried her head in his neck. She reached up and behind her neck absentmindedly, scratching at the brand on her shoulder over the fresh cuts, making them reopen and bleed. Edward grabbed her arm and pulled it away smoothly. It was nothing at all to redirect her to petting his hair; she didn't even notice.
"But I couldn't let them, I'd fight. Hard. Addy used to do that, she really liked it. And Fio would. A long time ago." Grief for her fallen lovers ravaged her face as she lifted her head to take in his reaction. "I can't even really remember what it was like. I didn't realize I'd forgotten."
"My Bella, never again. Why didn't you want to tell me that?"
"In the music room, you seemed angry about them. It was different, I was different. But I cherished them, still do. I don't want you to feel like you have to compete with them, that I somehow love you more or less than I love them. Is that okay?"
Edward paused, took a moment to gather his thoughts. He needed to be clear, here. This was important. "It's okay."
"They loved you. They were in love with you, you with them. You are who you are, partially because of them, and I'm in love with who you are. Watching those echoes was the worst sort of torture, not because I was jealous, but because I knew how it ended. I knew that it would break your heart, hurt you. But I can't hate them, can't compete with them. I don't even want to."
He brought his hand against her jaw, compensating by leaning further against the wall, increasing the flow of strength to his arm under her behind. "I know what it's like to love you, Isabella Swan. How could I envy someone something so perfect? You were beautiful together."
Bella's relief made her sag, her full weight on him now as he sank to the floor. She curled against him like a child, like gold in chains and afraid of the dark. He smelled her tears before he felt the wetness against his skin. He rocked his lover gently as she cried her grief for the loss of her innocence, her lovers.
When she mumbled his name against his shoulder, he realized she was asleep and pressed a kiss against her forehead before he adjusted her to a more comfortable position on his lap. There was time.
Heaven, Hell. It didn't really matter. They were in love.
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo