This chapter references Episode 2 of Series 4
Chapter 17
"No," Arthur was muttering angrily as he clutched his servant's body, "No, no, no, you idiot!"
Rowen raised her head from where she had buried it in Gwaine's shoulder. Gwaine who had shameless tears streaming down his face. She looked around the rest of the knights. Percival suddenly didn't seem quite as tall and strong as usual. Leon and Elyan had lowered their heads respectfully to hide their own despair. Lancelot had his head in one hand, the other was resting on Merlin's blue hand. Suddenly he looked up sharply as if struck with an idea and fumbled with Merlin's limp hand until the knight's fingers rested on his wrist. Everyone watched for a second with creased brows as Lancelot sat, nearly as still as Merlin, before moving his hand up to Merlin's neck.
Could they dare to hope he was feeling a-
"Pulse," Lancelot breathed, jaw dropping, "There's a pulse. He's alive!"
As if in response, Merlin's eyelids very slowly lowered and then opened again in the world's most painstaking blink.
"He's alive," Gwaine repeated, shrugging Rowen out of his grip and falling to the floor next to his friend to check for himself.
Arthur pulled Merlin closer to him and put a shaking hand over his heart which should have been still and silent. But it wasn't. There, underneath the prince's hand was a faint but steady thump of a weak but working heart.
"He's alive," Arthur cried, hugging Merlin.
Percival scoffed in joyful surprise and he too repeated the phrase which seemed to be echoing from everyone's mouth, "He's alive."
Elyan and Leon looked up and met eyes, to tell each other, "He's alive!"
There were a few minutes where no one seemed to know what to do before Gwaine finally said, "We need to warm him up. Let's get back to the fire."
"No," Rowen said, "We only have one torch. That's not enough to get all eight of us back safely. They'll get to us first."
"She's right," Lancelot agreed, "We'd be better off staying here in the corner. We haven't seen them go through stone yet so we might be alright."
"If we all huddle in the corner," Leon suggested, "Take up as little space as possible and we can take it in turns to guard from the front. That way the Dorocha can only come from one direction and it'll be protected."
"But Merlin-" Gwaine started to argue.
"Will be surrounded by body heat," Leon reminded him, "Which will probably be more effective than being slightly near to a fire outside in the cold."
They all looked to Arthur to approve their plan but the prince didn't seem to be paying much attention. He was staring guiltily at Merlin's lifeless face. At some point, the servant had closed his eyes, and no one seemed to know whether that was a good thing or not. Was he sleeping and recovering, or unconscious and dying?
"Arthur?" Leon prompted.
"Do it," Arthur said, showing he had apparently been listening, "Quickly before they come back. We move at first light."
Together, they maneuvered Merlin so that he was propped up between Arthur and Gwaine, who were sitting against the wall in the corner. Carefully, everyone else positioned themselves around them while Elyan stood holding the torch. They formed a cramped triangle up against two walls. Some of the knights had removed parts of their armour for the sake of comfort and to try and pass more body heat across to Merlin.
For the duration of the night, the group remained in approximately the same formation, moving only to allow the guard to change. Most of them managed to get at least an hour of sleep with the exception of Arthur who, while never keeping watch with the only torch, stayed wide awake, one hand always on Merlin's heart.
The second the sky started to lighten, they untangled themselves and stood. The knights put their armour back on quickly and then Percival gathered Merlin's shaking body up in his arms.
"Let's go," Arthur commanded. He looked slightly reluctant to move his hand from Merlin's chest, but the servant had woken up with the rest of them and was glancing around uncertainly so they all knew he was still alive.
Rowen walked between Leon and Lancelot who were both tense and had their hands on their sword hilts. She didn't know what to do with herself when they arrived back by the horses. Lancelot was wrapping Merlin in a thin blanket while the rest of the knights packed up. Feeling decidedly useless, Rowen picked up a stick and started prodding the remains of the fire around sadly.
"We have to get him back to Gaius," Arthur was saying to Leon.
"And abandon the quest?"
"He saved my life, I won't let him die."
"Sire, if we don't get to the Isle of the Blessed, hundreds more will perish."
Lancelot stepped forward, "Let me take him."
Rowen couldn't help but feel that was a good thing. Lancelot and Merlin were two of the people most willing to sacrifice themselves at the Isle of the Blessed. If they were both back in Camelot, it would only be Arthur she would have to stop.
"You cannot give up on the quest."
"Sire, he's right," Leon agreed.
Once everything was ready, Percival scooped up Merlin, who only whined and whimpered in pain, and carried him over to the horses. Together, he, Gwaine and Arthur gently lowered Merlin onto the back of his steed and secured him on. Rowen could only watch emotionally from the side as they departed before approaching Arthur.
"It's not your fault," she said.
Arthur just shook his head, "Do you know what he said to me? While we were hiding from the Dorocha? He said 'You don't know how many times I've saved your life'," Arthur sighed, "But I do know. And I've never thanked him. If he… if he dies and I-"
"He won't die," she assured him, "Lancelot will look after him. And Gaius will-"
"How do you know?" he snapped, "No one has ever survived their touch. He doesn't stand a chance."
Arthur walked away.
They continued with a new found determination. Even in the tunnels, hiding from wildoeren, there was an unspoken need to continue, despite Gwaine's complaining.
"You're not scared, are you Gwaine?" Rowen had teased at one point.
"Course not," he had replied smoothly as they ran desperately through the caves away from the wildoeren, but the quiver in his voice betrayed him.
They had washed their faces in the muddy river and continued tirelessly and without complaint.
When night fell once again, Leon dismounted his horse, "Sire, we must rest. We didn't sleep at all last night and the night before we-"
They descended into silence, as no one wanted to speak of that particular night and the men they had lost.
"Alright," Arthur got off his horse too, "We'll camp here. Make a fire, quickly."
They didn't exactly sleep soundly that night. At least once an hour, they were all roused to huddle around the fire for protection from Dorocha. No amount of heartless jokes from Gwaine could lighten the mood. They travelled in silence, rested in silence, did everything without speaking a word. Arthur would decide when they could stop and would do so with only a wave of his hand.
"That castle," they were stopped on the top of a hill which overlooked a mighty fort. Arthur pointed to it, "We'll rest there and journey to the Isle of the Blessed tomorrow. There's still plenty of time until sundown."
They set up a little camp in the midst of the ruins and Rowen pulled Arthur to the side, "You can't sacrifice yourself tomorrow. There must be another way."
"There isn't time to go searching for another solution," Arthur told her, "Too many people have suffered already. If the spirit world demands a sacrifice, then that is what they will get."
"Are you going to tell them?" she looked at the knights, "They have followed you all this way. Are you planning to just die without saying a word?"
"They would try to stop me," Arthur shook his head.
"Of course, they would! Because they would all see how completely stupid you're being. Camelot needs you, Arthur. More than you know."
"I cannot have someone else die for me when it is my responsibility."
"No one has to die."
"I wish that were true," Arthur said sadly, "Go and warm up by the fire."
They were a solemn group that encircled the fire that night. Rowen was sitting very close to it, warming her hands while the knights perched on logs.
Elyan coughed and Rowen looked up to see Gwaine removing his socks. "Has something died?"
Gwaine sighed, "Why am I always the butt?"
"Can't think," Leon and Elyan stood and moved away, leaving Gwaine sitting by himself.
"Pick on Percival."
"Why me?"
"He washes," Elyan said.
"And he doesn't set fire to his socks," Leon smirked.
"Quiet," Arthur snapped as a crash resonated through the room. They all shot to their feet and grabbed their swords, walking slowly towards the sound. A humanoid figure was walking towards them, hand resting calmly on their sword hilt.
"Lancelot?" Arthur called, as they all lowered their swords in relief, "How's Merlin?"
"Bad news," Lancelot said, trying to look solemn, and their hearts all collectively dropped right through the earth, "He's still alive."
Arthur laughed as his servant practically swaggered in to join them, looking very much healthy. They settled back down almost happily, undeniably delighted to be as a whole group again. Sleeping was difficult for Rowen, knowing that while they may all be back together now, the chances of them returning as one were slim.
Rather appropriately, the next morning was very dull and foggy, the air moist with unfallen rain as if the sky itself was holding back tears.
"Merlin," Rowen called softly as they packed up to leave, "You shouldn't have come back."
"I had to."
"Merlin, if someone does have to die, don't you understand that it can't be you?"
"Well it certainly can't be Arthur," he retorted.
"No," she agreed, "It can't be either of you. Your life isn't something you can just throw away, Merlin."
He sighed, "The dragon told me that it is not the spirit world who demands a sacrifice but the Cailleach."
"So there might be a way to reason with her?"
"I doubt it."
"We can try, though. So long as we can stop Arthur giving himself up immediately."
"We can try," Merlin agreed, "But I don't think there's much hope."
"It is not often we have visitors."
Rowen stood before the Cailleach with Arthur, Merlin and Lancelot, trying not to be too scared.
"Put an end to this," Arthur called, "I demand you heal the tear between the two worlds."
"It was not I who created this horror."
"But you can fix it," Rowen said, "You alone have the power."
"Why should it be I who stops it?"
"Because innocent people are dying!" Merlin said.
"Indeed," she laughed horribly.
"I know what you want," Arthur said.
"Do you? And are you willing to let me have it?"
"I am prepared to pay whatever price is necessary."
"No," Rowen said, "No, we're not. No one else has to die because of another's mistake. It may not have been you who caused this, but it wasn't us either. We should not have to pay because of Morgana. We came here to do good for the sake of both worlds. And we do not deserve to die. You are the gatekeeper for the spirit world. Why do you demand such a price?"
"It is not for you to question me. My price has been named and now you must deliver or the gateway remains open."
Arthur nodded slowly and began to walk forward. Merlin swallowed and muttered a spell underneath his breath. Arthur was flung away and lay unconscious on the ground.
"Merlin, no. Don't you dare."
"Emrys. You chose to challenge me after all. Will you give yourself to the spirits to save your prince?"
"It is my destiny."
Rowen rolled her eyes, grabbing Lancelot's hand as the knight began to creep forward towards the veil, presumably to sacrifice himself.
"Perhaps. But your time among men is not yet over, Emrys. Even if you want it to be," the Cailleach told Merlin ominously.
"Stop!" Rowen shouted, "Everyone stop!" She dragged Lancelot backwards and pushed him to the floor, "You, stay there." Then she rushed over to Merlin and grabbed his arm to keep him still before looking to the old woman, "Tell me, what is the job of a gatekeeper?"
"To protect the worlds on either side of the gate they manage."
"And to keep everything on the right side," Rowen added, "Well, if you don't mind me saying, you haven't been doing your job very well. The Dorocha do not belong in this world. And none of us belong in theirs. You demand an unreasonable price for peace and order to be restored."
"It is not unreasonable, it is fair."
"Alright," Rowen conceded and Merlin looked horrified, "You will get your price."
"Rowen, you can't," Merlin whispered.
"Just let me ask one more thing," Rowen ignored him.
"As you wish," the Cailleach looked triumphant.
"What happens if the gatekeeper dies?"
"The gate will remain closed."
"Excellent," Rowen smiled sweetly.
"Any more of your questions?"
"No, no, don't worry. I'll leave you to guard your gate," she paused for a second and smiled mischievously, "From the other side."
Quick as lightning, Rowen grabbed her bow which had been strapped to her back uselessly for four long days. She nimbly loaded it with an arrow and fired it directly at the Cailleach.
"Merlin, a little help?"
Merlin grinned, and before the woman had figured out what happening, the arrow was glowing in a blueish light and was pierced through her heart. The wound started to steam and the Cailleach wailed in agony as she clutched her chest, looking betrayed and almost terrified. Black smoke swirled around her, swallowing her up.
"How's that for a sacrifice?" Rowen asked, and with a quick golden flash in her eyes, the Cailleach was gone, soaring through her precious veil. The screams of the Dorocha filled the air and with a horribly bright flash, the veil snapped shut.
Rowen grinned and looked to Merlin and Lancelot who just stared back at her gormlessly. She laughed and shrugged. Arthur groaned and lifted his head groggily. Realising that he was still very much alive, a terrified look crossed his face and he jumped up. He did a quick head count and then stuttered, "But you're all- we're all alive? And the Cailleach is-"
"Gone," Lancelot said, "Sacrificed, you might say."
Arthur laughed abruptly, "What of the Dorocha?"
"They're in the spirit world," Merlin said, "Where they're supposed to be."
"What happened?"
"Later," Lancelot said, "Let's get out of here."
Gwen threw the door to Rowen's chambers open and ran in, "Merlin told me what you did."
"I told you we'd all come back. Camelot needs a prince, and," she laughed, "I'm not brave enough to sacrifice myself in his place."
"What you did was more than brave. Even leaving Camelot in the first place to go with them was braver than you'll ever know. I'm proud of you."
"I've heard you were most helpful while we were away."
"Agravaine panicked and closed the gates to people seeking refuge," Gwen said modestly, "All I did was convince him to open them again."
"Have to do something useful now you're not a servant anymore, eh?" Rowen teased.
Gwen blushed, "I don't know what to do with myself most of the time."
"Just ask Arthur," Rowen smirked, "I'm sure he could keep you occupied if you asked."
Gwen giggled and blushed, "I'm happy to take care of the king," she said.
"You don't need to serve anyone anymore," Rowen said, "You're practically a Lady now, thanks to your brother."
"It just feels so unfair that my status changed so much because of Elyan."
"You've deserved much more than you've been given for many years, Gwen," Rowen held her hands and squeezed them lovingly, "Your loyalty has never been appreciated enough."
"You're too kind," Gwen said with a sheepish smile, "Is there anything you need? You must be tired- I can get you food, or run you a bath."
"You're not a servant, Gwen. I'll sort my own bath out. Go. Do something nice for once."
"I should see to the king."
Rowen laughed and rolled her eyes, "Of course you should. You know, Gwen, it's not a crime to give yourself a night off."
"Maybe one day," Gwen promised and turned to leave, "Goodnight. Sleep well."
"Goodnight, Gwen."