A/N: So I wrote a list of things I still wanted to cover in this story and I filled a page. Hmmm. Suffice to say, this isn't the last chapter, yet ;-)

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I'm sorry, I can't reply to them individually at the moment. FF is really having a bit of a meltdown lately, and reviews just aren't showing on the site. I can see them through my email alerts though, so please, please keep them coming. If you are enjoying the story still, even though it is nearing the end, I still very much want to hear from you. They fuel me and really are the best for inspiration. I promise I will respond, once the glitch is fixed.

Love and thanks to Blue again, for casting her eyes and her wisdom across this latest chapter.

As ever, love to all. Stay safe xx

Rated: T/M

Battling Fate

Chapter 25

Donna Paulsen was not a morning person. She never had been.

Even as a small child, when most youngsters rise at the crack of dawn, full of boundless energy, Donna would be out for the count, dead to the world, and any attempt to rouse her would be met with moans and groans.

Her mother had claimed that as well as an ability to understand and empathise way beyond her young years, her sleep behaviour also mirrored that of someone significantly older than her pre-school years. More like those of a teenager - except, she never really progressed from her teenage like sleep pattern as she grew older.

It wasn't so bad that she needed to seek medical attention, but she did feel the need, throughout all of her adult years, to set not one, but three alarm clocks to ensure that she was up and ready to face the day.

This little known fact had come as a bit of a surprise to Harvey.

The first morning they'd spent back at her apartment, he'd been woken by her phone alarm, which he ended up having to switch off himself, as it hadn't even caused the slightest of twitches, or eyelid flutters. Less than thirty seconds later, a chiming sound akin to a harp being plucked, sounded around Donna's bedroom, getting progressively louder. Confused, it had taken Harvey a minute to locate the source of the melodic peals. He spotted the culprit. A modern monstrosity of a mantelpiece clock that was situated on her dressing table. It was neither chic nor stylish, but it was adorned with Shakespeare quotes, carved around the dial. A birthday gift from Louis, he would later find out. It took him a further minute to work out how to turn the damn thing off, but his frustration was replaced with bewilderment when he noticed, as he climbed back into bed, that Donna still hadn't stirred a muscle. On the contrary, she was actually snoring, albeit gently. Harvey had grinned to himself, noting how adorable she was.

His grin vanished though, when the third, more obtrusive alarm began blasting the most deafening clanging of bells. A retro style, twin bell alarm clock was violently shuddering across her bedside table, and this, finally, seemed to stir her from the land of the dead.

Harvey didn't waste any time later that day, raising the subject with her. He was partly intrigued, mostly amused at the idea that she needed such excessive means to wake in the morning.

"I'm a heavy sleeper, Harvey," she'd said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but three alarms? Can you really not wake at all without them?" he asked, trying to suppress a smile.

Donna scowled. "It's not that big of a deal. Plenty of people struggle to get up in the morning."

Harvey broke out into a wide grin and he waggled his eyebrows at her unintentional double entendre. "Not me!"

"You're an idiot," she said, her own lips twitching.

"I'm just surprised you need them at all. I would never have thought that simply waking up in the morning could be such a problem for you. I mean, especially someone who is practically perfect in every way." He chuckled.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm awesome... I'm not perfect. There's a difference. I am not frickin Mary Poppins."

Harvey immediately tensed at that. The reference, a jolt. A reminder of words spoken to him not that long ago, by an asshole that still made him sick to his stomach and about an ex-girlfriend that was still a taboo subject between them.

Donna noticed the change in his expression and frowned. But he was quick to smooth over his reaction, stepping forward with a grin plastered back on his face, as he pulled her into his arms.

"Well, as much as I think it's adorable, I think those alarms need to go." His tone had dropped several octaves and his eyes sparkled with desire. "We need to come up with a much better way to wake you up in the morning," he murmured into her lips, before slowly and languidly kissing her, his tongue gently coaxing her mouth open, causing her to instantly moan.

And so it was, that the morning after their emotional breakthrough regarding Forstman, after ending up in Harvey's bed for the first time, where they had actually done nothing but hold each other and fall asleep in each other's arms, both exhausted from the many tears they'd shed, Donna was awoken. Not by three irritating alarm calls, but by something else, much, much more pleasantly intrusive.

At first, she thought the sensations that seemed to be stirring within her were just part of her dreams. Half conscious, she felt the heat and delicious sparks of pleasure build between her legs, but as the feeling intensified, her body became more alert and responsive, and sleepy confusion gave way to a heavenly realisation.

The wetness that had pooled at her core was not there, solely as a result of her own desire, but also from Harvey Specter's tongue.

She gasped, her back arching off the bed and she rapidly pulled the bedsheet away that had been covering them. She looked down and Harvey temporarily ceased his ministrations, glancing up at her from his position, firmly placed between her thighs. He gave her a devilish grin, his eyes black with desire, and he winked at her causing her to instantly giggle.

Her laughter was soon replaced with a deep moan, as his hands moved around her hips and underneath her, caressing her backside whilst simultaneously lifting her to his mouth. His tongue resumed its most excellent work, lapping and swirling at her and a hot, intense, but glorious ache pulsated from her core and up through the rest of her now writhing body.

Harvey removed one hand and placed it on her stomach to gently still her movements, while he used the other to assist in bringing her to the edge, his fingers joining his mouth as they gently pumped in and out of her. Donna was now sweating, and she dragged her bottom lip between her teeth as her back once again, arched off the bed.

She had never forgotten how skilled he was at this, but Christ, she had forgotten how skilled he was at this. The sensations and constant waves of pleasure were bordering on overwhelming and she began moaning his name, repeatedly, which only seemed to spur him on.

He would pull back briefly for just mere seconds, placing kisses along her thigh or to her mound before diving back in, flicking and teasing her bundle of nerves. Donna felt the delicious build of her pending orgasm, the feeling almost too much to bear, but yet, she also never wanted it to stop. She reached down and her fingers found his scalp, scratching through his soft hair as she bucked and moaned. When she finally came undone, she cried out incoherently, as her body was racked with the most exquisite spasms. Harvey slowed his movements, but kept his lips against her as he helped her ride out her pleasure.

Trembling from head to toe, her breathing began to slow. Harvey placed tender kisses to her thighs, her stomach and her breasts as he slowly climbed up her body. As he reached her mouth, she kissed him hungrily, her hands clutching the sides of his face. She could have kissed him like that till dusk, but she was still breathless. She pulled away from him slightly to gasp for air, and she knew her smile matched his. He rubbed his nose against hers, something she had discovered, he liked to do frequently, as his hand gently stroked her damp hair away from her flushed cheeks.

"Morning," he said, the deep timbre of his voice immediately sparking another jolt of pleasure through her core.

"Morning," she answered breathlessly.

"So what do you think of your new alarm clock?"

She pursed her lips as she seemed to ponder his question. "Hmm, I'm not sure. In many ways it's a vast improvement, but it does have one major flaw."

"Oh?"

"Well, my usual method doesn't normally cause my legs to turn to jelly. If I get up now, I don't think I could walk."

Harvey tilted his head and smirked. "That is a slight problem," he said in mock seriousness. "We can't risk you falling back to sleep while you wait for the strength to return to your legs. I'll have to think of something to help keep you awake, in the meantime."

He ran his hands up her side, slightly tickling her, causing her to giggle helplessly. He was grinning at her mercilessly as she huffed out his name in weak protest. But then his fingers continued up her arms, pinning them firmly above her head, and before she had a chance to retaliate, he entered her in one swift, fluid motion.

She gasped at the welcome intrusion and he stilled his movements, allowing her time to adjust. His eyes locked with hers, all humour now gone. He was staring at her with such intensity, with such a look of pure love and devotion that Donna felt her eyes prick with tears as the same reciprocal feelings overwhelmed her.

She gave him a tiny nod, their eyes never wavering from each other and he began to move.

Harvey set the pace, and it was slow and steady. He removed one hand from her wrists and began running it down her naked form, whilst the other switched to her hands, intertwining their fingers. He continued to kiss her as his rhythm began building momentum, but the kisses remained soft, teasing. His tongue toyed with hers, as he interspersed kissing her lips with kissing behind her ear, her cheeks, her throat.

Donna's skin was on fire. Every touch, every flick of the tongue sending sparks across her body, and all the while Harvey's rhythm continued to build both in speed and intensity. He hooked his hand behind her knee and hoisted her leg so that it wrapped around his waist, enabling him to thrust even deeper and the immediate sensation was exquisite. She could already feel her walls contracting around him as he filled her, and Donna knew she wouldn't last long before reaching her second peak of the morning. Her hands scratched down his back and she moaned his name into his ear, her desire for him almost desperate as she relished in the feel of him all around her and inside of her, but yet still not able to ever get enough of him.

Harvey's forehead fell into the crook of her neck and Donna sensed that he too was close. "Donna," he gasped almost as though in worship as well as a plea.

She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts and Harvey raised his upper body, his eyes casting down to where they were joined, the sight of their connection, him entering her, filling her, was mesmerising and profound. He was squeezing her hand now, their fingers tightly interlocked, and she used her other hand to grip his arm, her nails digging into his taut muscles, as he continued to pound away, their lovemaking now frenzied, all their senses heightened as they both neared release.

He lifted his gaze and their eyes locked once again.

Harvey had always had the ability to take her breath away, but in that moment, the way his eyes smouldered, the way he silently communicated nothing but love, need, want and desire, she not only lost the ability to breathe, but her body began to quiver and she immediately unravelled, her orgasm taking her by such force that she was overcome with dizziness. She cried out his name, along with a string of profanities, and she fisted the bedsheets as she allowed wave after wave of ecstasy to wash over her.

Her cries competed with Harvey's own, as he too tumbled over the edge. Groaning her name, his muscles tensed, and then his body shuddered as he emptied himself inside of her.

They lay entangled with each other for several minutes, still joined, heavily panting, thoroughly and blissfully spent.

Eventually Harvey carefully slipped out from her and Donna instantly missed their connection. He reached up to cradle her face, placing a gentle kiss at the corner of her mouth, a smile already creeping across his face, before he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his side so that her face was nestled into his neck.

"How are the legs?" he mumbled, and Donna could hear the grin in his voice.

"Totally screwed." She giggled.

He chuckled deeply, his fingers caressing up and down her arm, as they just lay wrapped together, enjoying each other.

"You seem different this morning," she whispered as their breathing calmed, her fingers lacing through his hair.

"Do I?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Good different, or bad different?"

"Good… You seem lighter somehow."

She thought back on the events of the night before. Harvey breaking down when she had challenged him over his desire for revenge over Forstman. She knew though, as she had held him, his sobs wracking his body, that it wasn't just the realisation of what he was prepared to do, of how far he was willing to go that had caused his outpouring of emotion. The tears had also come from all the pent up fear, aggression, rage, and hurt that he had been bottling up. She lifted her chin and dropped her head back and gazed at him, his body relaxed, his features soft and warm, and she deduced it wasn't just a post-coital haze that he was emanating, but also a sense of peace since he had let his walls down. Since he had let go of some of his anger.

Harvey met her loving gaze and he seemed to sense her thoughts, as he laced his fingers in hers, bringing them up to his mouth, and kissing them gently.

"I am...feeling better, but it wasn't just last night that's made me feel this way."

Donna frowned and she shifted her head slightly so that she could study him better. Harvey gave a little sigh, and he lifted his hand to run it through her auburn hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"Last night was the first night in weeks that you didn't have a nightmare," he said softly as he looked cautiously into her eyes. Her eyes widened at his words and he gave a little shrug. "I know recovery takes time, and I've always trusted that things will get better, but seeing you finally sleep so peacefully… I don't know, it's like I actually feel that everything is going to be okay."

"You never told me that I was having them every night," she whispered, her frown still in place.

Harvey nodded.

"There's a lot I haven't told you, Donna. A lot I've been afraid to say," he said carefully.

Donna's breath hitched, but for the first time she didn't allow the shutters to completely crash down. She swallowed down the hesitation and worry, that she could feel bubbling up from her stomach. Harvey had opened up to her, disclosed some of his deepest fears and torments, allowed her in, to witness his vulnerability. She needed to be brave, too.

One of her own deepest fears had been that Samuel had ripped away her confidence, and in doing so, she'd lost a piece of herself. If she had any chance of finding it again, she had to stop hiding from her pain. Lying there in his arms, she'd never felt so safe, so protected, so loved. And as she met his nervous gaze, his eyes that spoke of worry, concern but also tenderness and love, she realised it was time that she started chipping away at her own protective walls.

"You can tell me now," she said breathlessly. "If you want to."

Harvey's eyes flashed with a combination of nerves and hope and he pursed his lips as he considered what he wanted to say.

"Okay, well… we could start with the fact that I'm worried sick that you are hardly eating," he said, staring at their interlaced fingers.

Donna felt her heart flutter, the desire to run and bolt from this topic already creeping through her veins. But she bit back her natural instinct to be defensive and instead took a steadying breath.

"I know. I am trying, I just don't have an appetite. I don't know why."

Harvey glanced up then with a look of relief, probably at the fact that she hadn't deflected again. He seemed to ponder her words, as he continued to toy with her fingers. Donna could tell he wanted to say something but was hesitant.

"What?" she gently probed.

He bit the inside of his cheek and expelled a small sigh. "I spoke to Stan about it," he murmured. "I was so concerned, and I wanted his advice. I'd assumed it might be a residual effect of the shock you'd suffered, but he suggested something else."

"He did?"

Harvey nodded. "He suggested that it might be your way of taking back some control?"

"What?" Donna inhaled sharply. "No!...it's not...I'm not deliberately choosing to starve myself, Harvey," she said indignantly, her voice wavering with emotion.

"I'm not suggesting that, and neither is he." Harvey was quick to assure. "He just indicated that this wasn't uncommon. That he's seen it before. Victims that have suffered a similar trauma as you, where all power and control is taken from them, they struggle afterwards to adjust. He said that the desire to reclaim that control is strong, and that this can be one way to do it, even if it's not consciously done."

Donna was shaking her head. "Well, I think he's wrong."

Harvey took a deep breath. "It was only a suggestion, it wasn't a diagnosis. Have you talked to him about it?"

"Not specifically, no," she bristled, despite her best efforts to stay calm. Her curtness, an act of self-preservation.

"Donna, I'm not accusing or attacking you. I'm worried and I just want to help."

Donna closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated too. I'll talk to him about it, okay? And I promise I will try to eat more, even if I don't feel that hungry," she added with a small smile.

Harvey returned her smile, and then lifted her chin so that he could capture her lips in his. The kiss was sweet and tender, and he took his time, pulling gently on her bottom lip before sweeping his tongue across and gently probing her mouth.

Donna instantly responded, and she sighed against his lips, savouring the taste of him, any anxiety or tension that she had felt, instantly swept away with the feel of his mouth on hers.

Harvey cupped her cheek and slowly pulled away, causing her to whine in protest. He chuckled at her response. "As much as that pout on your face is adorable and makes me want to kiss you again, how about, we take a shower, then you can inspect my cupboards and see if there's anything you might like me to make you for breakfast?"

"I thought the idea was to tempt me with edible food?"

"Hey… My cooking is almost as irresistible as me!"

"That's just not possible." She laughed, before launching herself at him with a blistering kiss, her legs straddling him as she rolled him over, pinning him to the bed, their giggles soon replaced with sighs and moans.

They eventually made it to Harvey's ensuite bathroom, only to take longer than was needed in there too, so much so that by the time they were finally showered and dressed it was already mid morning.

They both settled in his kitchen. Donna was feeling a determination to take up Harvey's offer to cook, and make an effort to eat breakfast. Contrary to her jibe, she'd been nothing but impressed by Harvey's culinary skills so far. He downplayed it of course, professing that Marcus was the real genius with food, and he'd just simply picked up a few hints and tips along the way. However, despite only managing a few forkfuls, his Spanish Romesco chicken had been delicious and his Moroccan lamb tagine, a revelation. Both had indicated that a flare for cooking was definitely a family trait.

He sat on the kitchen stool, sipping his coffee as he watched her rifle through his fridge.

"So, do you see anything that might whet your appetite?"

She'd abandoned his fridge and moved on to his cupboards, opening them one at a time to inspect their contents. "Not really no. Harvey, your cupboards are shockingly bare. There's hardly anything here, and what is here reminds me of food I'd find in a frat house."

"Look, I know I'm overdue a grocery shop, but it's not that bad."

"Oh really," she scoffed. "Explain this then." She pulled out a box from one of his cupboards and waved it in front of him. "I mean, I know you like anything strawberry flavoured, but poptarts? Really? When did you start eating shit like this?"

Harvey paled. He stared at the box in her hand and his mouth fell open. Donna instantly frowned as she took in his expression. He was glancing between the box and her eyes with a look of sheer panic on his face.

Her breath faltered as realisation dawned on her.

"Oh!" she simply said, quietly turning from him before he had a chance to respond. He was either going to come up with some lame reason that they would both know to be false, or tell her the truth, which she also had an immediate aversion to. She already knew the answer and she felt herself flush with embarrassment, which was ridiculous, as she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about. But the stark reminder that he used to share his home with someone, and who that someone was, caused her stomach to drop.

She placed the box back into the cupboard, and composed herself. "How about eggs? I reckon you are a master omelette maker," she said, a deliberate lightness to her tone, but there was a waiver to her voice that she failed to disguise.

He was behind her then, circling his arms around her waist as he placed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Hey, talk to me," he said softly.

Donna rested her hand on his arms and she closed her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Honestly? I don't even know where to start."

He turned her around, so that she faced him, his arms still wrapped around her. She stared at his chest, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"How about you start by telling me how you feel?"

She felt her bottom lip tremble and she cast her eyes down further. Why was this so difficult? Paula was gone. She was just an ex-girlfriend, now part of his relationship past. Donna didn't feel threatened by the woman at all. She didn't even feel guilty and she certainly didn't doubt for one second that Harvey had moved on, that he loved her, that he was committed to her now, one hundred percent. Yet every time they ventured near the subject of Paula, she would feel nauseous. She would feel the sting of pain, and her stomach would churn.

"Look at me, Donna."

He raised her chin with his thumb and forefinger. She never could resist that deep tone of his, so she acquiesced, lifting her gaze so that she met his dark brown eyes.

"I don't know what to say," she answered him honestly. "I know we need to talk about her and what happened, but every time I try to work out how I feel about it all, I just… I can't. It just hurts."

Harvey tilted his head and he furrowed his brow, his expression filled with sorrow and regret. He lifted his hand and stroked it through her hair a few times before speaking.

"I might have a suggestion," he said cautiously.

She felt a slight sense of apprehension, but she gave him a quick nod to continue.

"Stan suggested that when the time was right, it might be an idea if we both went to see him together." He fixed his gaze on her, his eyes darting between hers, as though anxious to gauge her reaction.

She inhaled sharply, but she held his stare. "I don't know, Harvey. That might—"

"Hear me out." He dropped his hands and picked up hers, holding them close to his chest. "You say you can't talk about it because you don't know what it is you're feeling. But you know you're feeling pain, and I think he can help you articulate it. He can help us both. I think in this instance, with this particularly painful episode in our lives, we both might find it easier to talk about it, with him there."

"You mean like a mediator?"

"Kind of. He's a therapist, so he can help us work through it, but he's also impartial."

She rolled her lips between her teeth as she considered his words. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, but she also knew that she couldn't carry on like this. She loved Harvey. With every fibre of her being. But she was starting to worry that those painful months following the night she kissed him, were hanging over their new relationship like a dark cloud. A thunderous cloud that was threatening to downpour at any moment, drenching them with pain, regret and bitterness. Maybe the cloud needed to break, but they just needed to shelter from it. Maybe Stan was the answer.

"Okay," she breathed out.

Harvey visibly relaxed and he too let out a relieved sigh before flashing her a cautious smile. "Come here." He pulled her into his arms and nestled his head in her neck. "I love you," he mumbled as he nuzzled behind her ear.

"And I love you."

He pulled back and smiled more widely, before placing a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Well, now that we've established that. I think we need to get back to the important matter of breakfast. I clearly need to go out and get some groceries, so what can I get you? Whatever you want, it's yours."

"Oh don't worry, Harvey. I'll be fine with a bit of toast."

"Donna, I need to go out and get ingredients for dinner tonight anyway, so it's no bother. What can I tempt you with?"

Her lips quirked as she considered his offer. "Well, if you're going out, I do quite like the idea of a danish pastry," she said, biting her lip.

Harvey lifted his eyebrows. "Really," he said more as a statement than a question. "Okay then, danish pastries it is."

He moved to walk past her in the direction of his wallet and keys, when she halted him. "A lemon and cardamom swirl from Ole and Steen on Broadway. They are the absolute best."

"Okay…"

"Oh and pick up a slice of their Gateau Marcel chocolate mousse cake, it is literally to die for."

"Lemon swirl, chocolate mousse cake… got it!"

"And while you're there. It might be an idea to pick up a slice or two of their strawberry and almond chocolate shell tart," she added with a coy smile. "It comes with vanilla cream."

Harvey poked his cheek with his tongue. "I bet it does," he smirked. "Is that all?"

"I think that covers it, yeah."

He chuckled to himself before leaning forward and kissing her again. "I won't be long," he muttered against her lips.

He picked up his keys and wallet, but as he prepared himself to leave, he paused at the kitchen cupboard. Without saying a word, he retrieved the box of poptarts and promptly threw them in the garbage can before picking up his coat, and walking towards his front door.

Thirty minutes later, Harvey was holding a full grocery bag while standing in line at Ole and Steen.

He felt physically tired, having still not managed to get any proper sleep. Donna may have had her first peaceful night, but he had been on edge for most of it, waiting for her night terrors to start. He had felt such a sense of relief when dawn came and she hadn't stirred. But as a consequence, he was now dog tired.

He didn't really care though, for Donna was, as usual, spot-on in her observation that he felt lighter, more bouyant. He was happy, and he now had hope too. Hope that with help from Stan, they could finally address all of their issues and start planning for their future.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and retrieving it, he saw that Mike was calling him.

"Hey, Mike."

"Harvey! How's things?"

"They're good thanks. We're good," he answered.

"How did it go with Forstman?"

Harvey paused for a moment. "It went well...as expected," he said finally. "But you were right. I should have discussed it with Donna."

"She found out?"

"She did, and we talked about it last night." He paused. "I'm calling Sean Cahill later today and putting a stop to it."

Mike let out a deep sigh. "I have to say, Harvey. It's a relief to hear you say that. It's the right thing to do."

"I know it is, but it still feels like the bastard has got away lightly, considering all that he did."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you and I can put our heads together and find another way to make him pay," Mike responded.

"That sounds like a great idea."

"Have you spoken to Donna yet about Christmas?"

"I mentioned it, yeah. She was really excited at the idea. As you know, I have this major work situation that needs sorting out, and a shit load of cases to catch up on, so I can't make any promises, but I reckon we could make it work."

"That's great, Harvey. I'll get Rachel to talk to Donna about it, they'll sort everything out. Speaking of work and Donna, have you talked to her yet about her position at the firm."

"No… I haven't" Harvey swallowed as he felt his stomach flip at the prospect.

"You need to tell her, Harvey."

"Not this again."

"Hey, I was right last time. You just said so," Mike retorted.

"I know. I just don't know how she's going to take it."

"You won't know until you talk to her about it. Have a little faith in her, Harvey."

"I do. I'm just worried that after everything that she's been through—"

"Stop overthinking it. You've made a decision, and I know it was a tough one, but it's time you talked to her about it. It's that simple."

Harvey found himself at the front of the line, the server behind the counter looking at him expectantly.

"Mike, I gotta go. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, we'll speak later. Bye, Harvey."

Harvey disconnected the call, placing his phone in his pocket. A feeling of nervousness now settling in his stomach at the prospect of the difficult conversation he faced ahead.

"What can I get you, sir?"

Donna could still feel the tingling on her lips from his parting kiss, and she sighed contentedly to herself, as she stood out on his bedroom balcony, taking in the glorious New York vista.

It was seasonably cold. It was December after all, but Donna had her coat wrapped around her so she felt warm enough, and she enjoyed the fresh feel of the biting cool air.

December. That meant Christmas would soon be upon them. She'd normally have everything organised by now. Presents would be bought, wrapped and ready for gifting. Her apartment would be decorated to the nines, party invitations would have been rsvp'd, new dresses would have been purchased for those said parties, and the ZSL Christmas party would have been organised and in its final preparations.

None of these things had happened. Christ, she'd even missed Thanksgiving. Not that she had planned to go anywhere. Louis had been hosting a Thanksgiving party this year, and with Harvey and Paula accepting their invitation, she had promptly declined hers.

She felt a sharp stab of pain again at that memory, and of that time. How lonely she had felt, how isolated. She'd thought then, that she would be facing a similar fate at Christmas. Doomed to spend it on her own, no doubt drinking too much wine while binge-watching festive Hallmark movies.

She now faced a happier prospect. Christmas with Harvey. She didn't know yet, what that would exactly look like, but Harvey had mentioned that Mike and Rachel had suggested they visit Seattle and spend Christmas with them, and while nothing had been confirmed yet, the idea of it filled her with warmth.

Thinking back to her immediate future though, she also felt anxious. It wasn't the prospect of her and Harvey seeing Stan that was making her uneasy. It was the fact that with regards to ZSL, she had no idea where she stood. Harvey still hadn't said anything about her resignation letter. He'd not referred to it, mentioned it, nothing.

He was due to return to work on Monday, and officially, she was supposed to have been already back at the firm, for more than a week. She's sure, with all that had happened, if she'd asked, she would have been granted leave too. But she hadn't asked, because she technically didn't work there anymore, and aside from Louis at the restaurant yesterday, no-one had questioned her absence.

Harvey had brushed over that conversation all too quickly. She knew him too well, and she knew when he was deliberately avoiding a subject. Why? Didn't he want her to return? Now that they were together romantically, did he feel that it might be better if they no longer worked together? Could this possibly be because of her damn rule?

Whatever the reason, it hurt. The resignation still stood, and Harvey seemed reluctant to change that situation. She knew she should just ask him, but her decision to leave the firm was born out of the post kiss nightmare, and so, it hadn't been a topic that she'd been comfortable bringing up.

She heard his front door slam shut, heralding his return.

"I have pastries," he called out, and she made her way back into his apartment, with a fresh smile back on her face. She would push those worries aside for the time being.

"Sorry I took a bit longer. That bakery is popular, I had to wait in line for a while." He was unloading the groceries as she approached. He looked up and frowned.

"Why are you wearing your coat? Are you going somewhere?"

"No," she chuckled. I was getting some fresh air out on your balcony. It's a little cold."

She took off her coat and reached around him, to retrieve plates for their pastries. They moved about each other seamlessly, and within a few minutes, they were both sitting at his kitchen counter, munching on lemon cardamom swirls.

They ate in relative silence, and Donna could tell that Harvey was relieved to see that she was tucking in, her pastry all but finished. She also couldn't help but notice that there was a slight air of tension between them.

"They're good aren't they?" she asked.

"They are indeed."

She eyed him warily. There was something guarded behind his eyes that hadn't been there before he left.

"Is everything okay, Harvey?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

Donna shook her head as she took a sip of coffee. "No reason."

Harvey narrowed his eyes, seemingly unconvinced by her words, but he chose not to question it, picking up their plates before moving towards the sink. "I spoke to Mike while I was out."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he asked again about us going to them for Christmas. He said he'd probably get Rachel to call you about it."

"That sounds like a plan," she said with a smile.

Harvey nodded. "I just need to make sure I'm up to date with work. I'm a little behind at the moment, and there's still the managing partner vote to sort out, so…"

He busied himself around the kitchen as he cleaned up, but Donna wasn't paying attention. Her vision blurred. Her heart was thumping in her chest, his words causing the worries she'd pushed aside earlier, to come rushing to the fore.

"Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I still have a vote?" she all but whispered, shocking herself that she'd dared to finally bring it up.

Harvey had been drying his hands on a dishcloth and he halted his movements at her sudden question. He looked across at her, with wide eyes.

Then his shoulders slumped, and his head dropped, and with a sinking sensation, Donna knew instinctively what his answer was.