Igor Karkaroff strolled down the corridor quickly, hurrying to his destination, Professor Snape had sounded very urgent when he called on the flue. Even though it had been many years since they were both Death Eaters, he knew better than to dismiss one of his former associates when they claimed to have something important to tell him. Especially someone as serious and no nonsense as Snape.

The Durmstrung Headmaster strolled into the other man's office without knocking and felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

There before him stood Lord Voldemort in all his glory.

How The Dark Lord had gotten into the school right under Dumbledore's nose was a mystery Karkaroff did not bother to dwell on. All that mattered was he was here.

Merlin help him.

He dropped to the floor and began to grovel for all he was worth.

…

Jasper was confused.

This human wasn't fun at all.

He missed his mamma.

He didn't like this shape very much.

It was producing some strange feelings in the human. The man mamma had given him to had asked him to stay like this for a while though, so he hovered over the fearful crying man and tried to provoke a more interesting reaction by sweeping closer and poking him. The man just continued to mutter and sob.

It was very boring.

After 40 minutes Jasper had had enough and shifted to another more interesting shape he'd been taught recently.

Mellissa followed the sound of screaming to her Head of House's office to see a terrified and confused Igor Karkaroff fleeing the room and quite possibly the castle.

Inside the office her clever pet was dancing about as a soft looking red creature with a plastic face, a circular antenna on its head and a square on its stomach which displayed images.

Mellissa had been assured the creature was not meant to be frightening and was intended to amuse children but that knowledge only served as further proof that muggles were disturbed.

"Come on Jasper, lets' go find your brothers and sisters."

The red creature clapped its hands and followed his mamma.

…

Earlier that day;

Snape had never liked Igor Karkaroff. He liked him even less when the man was intruding on Snape's rare moments of free time, acting like they were friends or something just because they were both pardoned after the war.

It was after one such intrusion that the Potions Master found himself stumbling upon two students training their new 'pets' and was struck with inspiration.

Which is how he ended up in the Slytherin dormitory speaking with Mellissa Carlton.

"What do you want him for?" She questioned suspiciously, petting the scaled green creature in her arms (called a gremlin apparently, and her boggart's preferred form today).

"I want to scare someone."

To her credit she didn't ask who, knowing better than to push for information her Head of House hadn't volunteered.

"Jasper isn't used to scaring people"

Snape's face twisted in befuddlement.

"It's a boggart."

"He's domesticated." She argued, the creature snuggled closer to her.

The Professor wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he didn't.

"He won't be hurt, will he?"

"No. He'll be fine."

The girl squinted at him in suspicion for a moment before cautiously handing the boggart to him. Snape cringed as the boggart-gremlin crawled up his sleeve.

"He'll probably stay like that until you direct him to change shape" the student explained.

"And how do I do that?"

"Just focus on an image in your mind and project it at him."

"Right."

An hour later, after a little trial and error, the boggart looked good enough to make even Snape himself feel nervous.

He threw some powder into the flu.

Showtime.

Voldemort turning into a Teletubby. I think I may have just peaked as a writer. This will be my shining achievement. :-D

Thank you to anyone reading this lunacy.

We'll get back to whatever flimsy plot has appeared soon, i just thought this would be funny.