Chapter 24: FearClan
The reek of blood was strong when Heather slashed her flank. She could recall the angry scowl on her face. Fury deep in her honey eyes. She had helped bring out the stiffening body of Cedar. They declared war to take Nightstar to avenge Cedar, blaming the BushClan leader. However, the reddish-brown she-cat could trace the hostile glares to the tabby who worked so hard for them all.
Cedar was gone thanks to Hawk. Gone in ways she couldn't understand how. She couldn't feel anything, only an empty space deep inside her. Was she happy? No, she was not. Cedar had provided protection, even in the cost of a toxic place to live. Yet, she held her tongue as Heather addressed the mock-clan.
Below even Dusk now, Lion was stationed to watch over Hawk. Although, she suspected it was because Dusk would go easy on the exhausted she-cat. Regardless, she obeyed and ushered the she-cat to her den among the bushes and reeds. Heather was now in charge and with Cedar gone, who knows what would become of Shadow.
"What do we do about the kits?" Berry asked, her mew full of sympathy for their new leader.
Lion peered out of the den, amber eyes wide. That's right, what will become of them? Their motherless. Heather was sitting rigid on a gnarled root, her gaze sharp and cold. Perhaps she is grieving for their losses harder than any of them.
"The kits will become top priority. They are a moon old and the oldest kit will be trained by me." she announced, her icy glare raking across them all. "The first born is Willow. Unfortunately, Willow is a tom, but I will make do. First born kits are the strongest of the litter as we all know. He carries Cedar's strong blood in that matter. Thus, I will be teaching him how to lead us."
"A tom? For a leader?" Timber grumbled, looking to Berry. "Is that a wise thing to do?"
"Does this mean Shadow will become leader?" the cream tabby she-cat exclaimed, pale yellow eyes wide.
Heather snorted, "Don't be silly. He wasn't born here. He will remain as third in command and nothing more. Only Willow will succeed after me. No matter when I die, Willow will be the one to bring us to the future of us all."
Shadow bristled, shooting a glare to Heather. "Why should it matter? Willow is my son too!"
"Then if he chooses to, you can be his second in command when I'm gone." Heather hissed, arching her back. "Cedar's blood comes before your putrid kittypet blood."
Lion swallowed dryly, feeling uneasy from what she was witnessing. How could Willow be for their future when all it has done was bring misery? Looking to her paws, she could only wonder and question as the mews and hisses went on outside of her den. She turned away, padding back to Hawk who looked miserable with herself.
Lion was unsure what to say, opening her jaws to mew, but nothing came. What could she say? That FearClan was in turmoil because of the death of Cedar? That they were now becoming unstable from the inside out? All it would do was make Hawk dig herself deeper into the ideas that it was her fault.
"I have created broken hearts." Hawk murmured, seeming to have come out of her grief. "I tried so hard not to, but they will not see it that way."
Lion sighed, ignoring that Hawk was in her nest as she turned her back on her. "Would it matter? I'm sure broken hearts were already made because of Cedar's choices."
"Shadow's heart is broken as he can now not be with the cat he loves. Those kits will only ever know of me as the cat who killed their mother." She went on, "Their kind and now they will be with hate."
"They would have been with hate either way." Lion mewed loudly. "Cedar hates BushClan. She claims them as traitors and mouse-hearts who turned their back on their roots."
Silence met her, Lion felt she has said too much. She looked over her shoulder to see thoughtful pale green eyes in the darkness. Memories of her dream many moons ago had buzzed to her mind. She shook out her fur, dismissing the thoughts. It was just a dream and nothing more.
"I'm sure there is more to it then that." Hawk mewed gently, "I mean, the divide between BushClan and this group is shallow like a puddle after fresh rain."
"What do you mean?" Lion asked, her interest bubbling out of her.
"According to Poppyclaw, the cat I was with when Cedar was injured during the battle, it hasn't been long since BushClan was founded. Knowing that, Cedar has personal reasons and just taught it to everyone here. There is not much I know on the history, but curiosity never hurts."
"Like Heather can explain anything to us." Lion told her bitterly.
Hawk shrugged, "Doesn't mean there isn't some cat who would know. I'm sure Poppyclaw knows more, but he never leaves the camp unless to gather herbs or for the half moon meeting at Highstones."
"A half moon meeting?" Lion mewed, padding over to Hawk. "Highstones?"
Hawk nodded, "Medicine cats go there to speak with their ancestors. I'm sure if we tried to meet Poppyclaw for answers, he would be there every half moon."
"What if the sky is covered by clouds?" Lion asked, licking her untreated injury. The rest of her wounds were treated in between caring for Cedar. Hawk was much too naive and kind for her own good, in Lion's opinion at least.
The dark brown tabby blinked warmly, seeming to be cheering up now to have her focus elsewhere. "Then he wouldn't be there. The half moon needs to light up the Moonstone for us to speak with our ancestors. As long as the moon is there, StarClan can speak to the medicine cat."
Lion snorted, "Like there is a bunch of spirit-cats."
Hawk purred with amusement. "I thought so, too; until I saw them with my own two eyes."
"You what?"
"I was training to be a medicine cat, that's why I know herbs." the tabby explained, her gaze soft and warm. "They welcomed me as a medicine cat and have shown me more advanced techniques that the clans know. The ones that once lived here many moons ago, they live somewhere else and have many new ways to help cats. I don't know them all, but I suppose I wasn't destined to be with BushClan."
Lion listened patiently, confused but intrigued. She, in secret, did wonder about BushClan beliefs and if it was all that Heather and Cedar had made it out to be. It was interesting in her eyes. It sounded like ways to put faith into dreams in her opinion, but she would never know herself. "I'm sure you won't be living here for long."
"Perhaps." the former clan-cat mewed thoughtfully. "I still need herbs for leafbare. Poppyclaw says that is a dangerous time for elders and kits. Elders can get a cough so bad it can eventually kill them. Kits get them too, but since their young it can be hard for them to fight it off. I need to be prepared to save the kits."
"Their not your responsibility." she pointed out, going back to watching for Heather to come and give them proper duties.
"No matter who the kits belong to, they are valuable to the clan. Even this group, they are the future of it. We can't let them die like their mother. Cedar will miss them, wherever she is, but she would want what is best for them as well."
Lion flicked her tail, letting Hawk know she had heard as she dived into her tumbling thoughts. Clan-cats were battle-hungry and ferocious. Or at least as their enemies that is what they appeared to be. What was she, a rogue cat, to judge them?
Questions that were long buried deep within her mind began to surface. Over the many moons of conflict she had ignored them. Brushing them off and finding herself growing more and more jaded into what was believed. Her amber eyes falling back on Hawk who was washing her dusty pelt.
After many moons of wondering and questioning and hiding them, she finally had someone to bounce back with thoughtful answers. Unbiased and not condescending to what she always questioned. Finally, like a log had been pushed aside from the growing river, a flood of questions tumbled forward.
"Can only medicine cats speak with the spirit-cats?" Lion suddenly asked, earning a startled expression on Hawk's face. She began to double back, looking away. "I mean, I once dreamed of a shadow-cat with pale green eyes by the river. It jumped over the shiny mesh fence in a single bound. I try to tell myself it's just a dream, but..." she trailed off, licking her chest fur as embarrassment washed over her, making her ears burn.
"Well, I'm not sure. Ever since I was a kit I saw faded cats. I learned they were spirits. The best way I can explain it, is some cats may be naturally more connected to the countless beliefs that cats can have. Whether they choose to believe what they see or not is up to them. Medicine cats receive visions, sometimes, through dreams. Other times it's just omens created by the ancestors." Hawk answered her honestly.
"And what you do think?" She whispered.
"It could have just been a dream, or a premonition. Or perhaps a sign. This territory was controlled by a clan of cats called RiverClan. Their ancestors may still be here, unable to leave. So, they walk in your dreams to show you insight." The she-cat stretched, the nest rustling as she got comfier. "Who knows. Ask all the questions to yourself. Whatever it was, it was why you led Shadow and Dusk here. You believed in them, even just a little, and it brought kits."
"Are you saying it was mean to happen this way?" Lion challenged bitterly.
"All I'm saying is, it's up to you to decide what you believe in. Your a smart cat, you know a lot more on what goes on around here than they do." Hawk mewed decisively. "I won't tell you if it was all coincidence or if it was all meant to be. That's up to you to see it however you want. This is a horrible place, so why stay? You have your reasons and you believe in them to convince yourself to stay. I'm here against my will and I'm positive they won't let me leave. As long as I believe that, it won't surprise me when they decide what to do with me."
Lion stared at Hawk, finding herself able to breathe. She had spoken to Moth about it countless times, but he never gave an answer. He submitted to everything without question, but he would have hesitation. Lion submitted with questions deep inside and without hesitation. Perhaps, it was all a coping mechanism for her. Whatever it was, Hawk was opening her questions and giving answers that she can choose from.
Ever since the loss of her mother during the many battles with BushClan, Lion finally felt she had a truer friend. Dusk was just someone to teach how to cope, while Moth was someone who obeyed the rules. Now, she has Hawk, a she-cat who genuinely accepted her curious nature and allowed her to pursue the questions she never had answers to.
A decision was made. Looking out to the willow den, she knew for certain what she must do. Reputation or not, she was going to find those answers with Hawk's help. Somehow, they were going to get to Poppyclaw and find answers and how to solve this. He was their only hope and Lion was positive of that.