Chapter 22: Bickslow's POV:
Hating holding her there without explaining it first, Bickslow let Lucy's control return to her swiftly. He watched as her eyes returned to their normal brown colour. Less dull. Although he was certain it would be difficult for her to understand what just happened, if she remembered much of it, he hoped she could forgive him. He'd gotten this far with her, he didn't want to suddenly screw it up. The idea of pushing his luck now, almost hurt more than the idea of dying. Why, I haven't even… spent… that much time… Bickslow thought to himself. But… he felt like that was wrong to tell himself. How long he'd actually spent in that maze with her. On the boat. On the beach, for months she walked to and from him. Bickslow began to realize what he was feeling was far beyond any infatuation he'd ever felt before. He'd had more awareness of her in his sights than he noticed.
"Loke?" The seith mage heard Lucy speak, asking her spirit friend his name. Bickslow looked up from where he had been staring at Lucy's eyes to see that Leo was assimilating again. As far as he'd known, Bickslow always thought the spirit's time was endless. Unless, like Leo before, had been banished from being outside the spirit realm for so long.
The seith mage felt the urge to hold onto Lucy and never let go of her. He was holding her hand, sure. But it didn't feel like enough to protect her. Clearly there was still something else they were missing. It all came down to himself and Lucy. Her spirits. He wondered if the Anomaly was able to steal away into the Celestial realm too. The place should've been untouchable by anything other than the spirits themselves. Perhaps they were wrong from the start. It didn't matter anymore, however. They would figure it out. "What's… you were just fine… how?" Lucy asked the lion spirit. Bickslow watched as Lucy's hand passed through the man's body. He could see she was waiting for an answer, "What just happened?" She asked, before Leo was pointing to Bickslow. The seith mage who didn't truthfully want to be pointed out in that exact moment. But it was coming. He would need to explain everything. His theory. What he did to her. None of which he was happy about. Bickslow ducked his head slightly as Leo explained. "He happened, I don't approve, but I know it has to be done…" Bickslow nearly laughed at how vague the lion spirit was being. But he understood. It wasn't his job to know what went on inside the brain of a perverted soul collector.
Bickslow could feel the presence of Leo vanish without looking. His gaze, he was sure was leaving something to be desired from Lucy as she spoke, "What just happened? And please… don't avoid it this time…" She pleaded with him. Finally, Bickslow looked back up to Lucy, his eyes locked on hers. He felt his culpability try to force him to avoid answering. Even if it was the right answer. Lucy, of all people, was the last person he wanted to steal control from. He'd found her taking control rather attractive in different circumstances. Bickslow sighed heavily. "I… Don't think you're going to like it. Most souls don't." He hesitated in giving her a real answer. This back and forth between himself made it harder for him to open up. "I… possessed you for a short while… I did it to save us both when you fell off the boat. I wasn't strong enough physically, my body went too shocked. But you were strong enough when your body was possessed." He related back to the ocean's freezing water. "I'm really sorry… but you would have died otherwise. I hated doing it to you. Loke couldn't grab you." He further explained, eyes still stuck, focused on Lucy. "With my help... I could make sure Loke didn't fade out or get sent back. When I possess you, he's totally fine. But I still don't quite understand why." He conceded, rubbing the back of his neck. The seith mage felt like all but one of his advantages were gone, vanished from his grasp. Slipped through his fingers while he was looking the wrong way. Just for a second. But he knew that's all it took. He… realized he hadn't slept in months. How he was functioning at all would've been impossible if he wasn't stuck inside a convolution of time.
He waited for it. He waited for Lucy to reprimand him for using her the way he did. Whether it was for either saving her life, or to prove a point. Drive it home. But nothing came. No words. No slap. Just, a gentle embrace. Then she spoke to him, "I don't care if that's how you saved us… I'm glad you did. But... I remember being panicked when you possessed me just now." Then she pulled away, frowning. "Is… is that normal?" She asked him. He averted his eyes once again. It was normal. To him it was absolutely normal. He had five souls in his possession already. Another to feel panic as Lucy did was normal. "Unfortunately, yes." He answered, "When I possess a soul the first time, often what they see anytime they're possessed after that is something like when they were possessed the first time. I hate to admit that the first ones are usually in my favour. Not theirs. It's not always pleasant." He described. He continued on about how they felt similar to how she did. But after so many years, they'd be used to it. But he left out that theirs was permanent. That's why they had gotten used to it. Years of service to him. Partially conditioning them to liking their new life. Admittedly, he knew he was stealing their life. They wouldn't really be alive. He didn't intend on taking her soul from her. He was glad at least, that he had that choice to make.
Whether it was to win a fight, or to save his life, if he disliked someone enough he would possess them. If they didn't know his freaky little party trick, he'd use it. To his every advantage. He had now learned the opposite was true, too. To save a life, if he liked them enough, he would possess them to save them. The souls that could move in different dolls, however. Possession was first, of course. But that sort of possession never stopped. Never gave into having breaks. With control of the soul, he could rip it from the body if they were weak enough to not resist him. Place them wherever he wished. Wherever he willed them. He knew something still didn't make sense. Juvia told them souls were a key. She was cut off. Bickslow felt like he could take a guess, as to what the water mage meant, but he wasn't certain if he was right. He was certain that he'd never be certain he was right with this Anomaly. He knew they could be shooting in the dark, missing their target by miles. Either by one or one thousand, they were still missing. The elusive target teasing them with a moment of respite, before it would continue to evade their theories. To fire back with more problems, more questions, more horror's. Trying everything in its abilities to end them. To deter them from stopping what it was trying to accomplish. He just hoped the Anomaly wouldn't get desperate to get rid of them. One minute they would exist, the next, nothing.
"Bickslow, we've got to get to where we all held hands all those years ago. It's the only place I can think of to even begin to try aside from the top of the Tenrou tree itself." She suggested. Though the seith mage agreed with her, nodding along slowly. He stopped himself from shaking his head. It was a good place to start. But it wouldn't be easy. Even if it was the right place, especially if it was the right place. Bickslow knew the Anomaly wouldn't just let them in to experiment with it. It would throw them away again. Perhaps further than before. Perhaps in the water watch them drown so it can reign over its island until it was ready to do what it felt was needed to be done. "One problem, Cosplayer," He fretted. "How will we get there without it throwing us back?" He asked. The older man watched the blonde seemingly struggle with his question. As far as he was concerned, they were stuck in a loop. Or if not a loop, then a predesigned unwarranted adventure of death that awaited them. Continuously thrown back and forth in time. Forced to watch themselves die, again and again. It was grim, unforgiving and sickening. Couldn't even be a trick of the mind, and illusion, not after Lucy had touched the shoulder of his doppelganger. This was real. The most real that Bickslow had experienced in his whole life. The timelines seemed fake but it was true. They had felt and seen the other versions of themselves walking around. Dying and living.
Abruptly, Bickslow felt the urge to hold tightly to Lucy. He felt a strange sensation against his back and brought her into a tight hug. Taking very little time in doing so, but it still didn't feel fast enough as the cold, snowy ground beneath them disappeared once more. Only for it to be replaced by cold hard cobblestone. They had been thrown back to Hargeon. Bickslow stumbled in his spot, still holding onto Lucy. He continued to hold onto her but looked back to where the ship still sat. The third one they'd have to take back to the island. This time was different, however. Everything was silent. He could see themselves on the ship. He could see some of the other guild members on the ship, too. Like they were still waiting for others to show up. While their other selves sat in the same spot where they pointed out the shimmer in the sky. It made Bickslow look. He could see the shimmer, from where he stood. "That's…" He paused, pointing to the shimmer that was much closer to Hargeon now. "That's not good." He looked down to see Lucy following where his finger was pointing in the sky.
The blonde seemed to frown, "None of it is." She agreed with him. The seith mage turned to the ship and held tighter to Lucy's hand. "Do… do we take it back?" He asked, unsure of whether it was a good idea. Though, he did know deep down that he'd have no other way of getting there. Especially now that his babies were under lock and key by some living, sentient, malicious being. Lucy began to speak, "We have no choi-" She was cut off. Abruptly. Bickslow could feel the freezing water surrounding them again. This time was more shocking than the last. Water filled his mouth as he gasped, watching as Lucy did the same, her eyes opened wide and startled. The both of them tried to swim to the surface, but if Bickslow was honest with himself, he couldn't tell which way was up. It was cold, disorienting. They had been sent to two different places they'd been before in a matter of mere minutes. Hardly time to adjust, and even less so in the ocean water. But they had to try, try to get out. Try to save themselves. Others. And now, Hargeon. If the Anomaly was truly getting that big. The world would be at stake, not just them. Not just their little island in the middle of nowhere. Bickslow couldn't help but feel like they were feeding it. None of it mattered if they died, though. The older man could feel Lucy's hand beginning to let go of him. He held on tightly, trying to get her to stay with him. But it was hard. He fought against the shock.
Bickslow could feel Lucy suddenly recoil - screaming under water. His eyes shot to where she was facing. What he assumed was down. Faces rising from the deep blue. From the darkness of the depths. It was hard for him to make out who they were, but he had an idea. Other versions of themselves that never made it out of the water. That froze to death before they drowned. Drowned before they froze. A cycle he hoped to break, but he couldn't do it without Lucy. He couldn't do it without her. He couldn't do any of it without her. He certainly knew he would die here if it wasn't for her. Bickslow prepared himself - trying to hold onto his last breath. Prepared himself to control Lucy again. To get them out. The difference was there was no ship here. Not that he could see. Then he could breathe again. It had dumped them back on Tenrou island. Bickslow immediately threw up water. Gasping for air, glancing over at his… girl… friend? She wasn't breathing. "Fuck. Fuck. Lucy no!" He argued over something that couldn't be argued against. Bickslow could feel she wasn't breathing. He put his hands on her chest and began to push. He didn't like the sounds of her ribs cracking as he did so, but he knew that's how it was supposed to be or he wasn't pressing hard enough. He then moved to her mouth and to try and give her air. The seith mage tried this best to repeat it.
Then he screamed. Bickslow screamed at the top of his lungs. Frustration, sadness, confusion, fear. Frustration that Lucy didn't move. Didn't flinch. Didn't cough up water. Sadness in feeling like he'd lost her here. That she drowned before they could even try to save themselves. To save the others. Confusion over the situation, all of it. Time, space, energy. How they'd gotten this far only to die from suffocation. Fear. He was next, it was only a matter of time before he was sent flying back. Through more spaces, more timelines. He couldn't joke his way out of this one. He screamed Lucy's name, his hands on his head, holding his eyes shut. Refusing to see a lifeless Lucy. Though as soon as he acknowledged that fact, he realized he'd let go of her.