The Dinner
After hearing Nowaki's story in the city I understood many things.
It was not that I had completely forgotten the bad time he had put me through or the totally incorrect way in which he confronted me; but after talking about his father and the circumstances in which he found out that he was an orphan, I wanted to take a more comprehensive position instead of continuing to circle around a situation that was no longer self-supporting.
So I decided to move forward, we had no other choice. The drought had begun and threatened to be the worst that had ever been seen. It was something I could conclude after seeing Nowaki and the others worry about the fate of the people in the shelters.
We also found out that the raids had been doubled and that the border police were now patrolling more frequently. I heard Nowaki say that the assaults now required another type of logistics, a more aggressive one in case they had to defend themselves.
Then I was afraid. For the first time the anguish that something happened to Nowaki materialized in front of me and filled me with fear; if they hurt him on one of those trips, how would I feel about it?
I was still full of confusion. The more time I spent away from the city, the more distant my feelings for Akihiko seemed to me. I was beginning to see that hopeless love for what it was; a remote fantasy for the only person I could go to and who came to me making me feel necessary.
But since I was in the shelter I felt part of something bigger and that made me feel less alone. Despite our shortcomings, there was always someone concerned about our well-being; I couldn't exactly put it into words, but I felt that it belonged to a place, a family.
I was sorting out the books in the living room with Yui when we heard the hubbub in the workshop. Nowaki and Kō arrived from shelter Four; I assumed Adiyah had given them some very good things in barter.
"Yui, come see this!" Kō shouted loudly from the entrance and we both ran to see the reason for such excitement.
" What is it?" Yui asked, puzzled to see his smile " Whoever listens to you thinks you found an oasis."
"No, but almost," he replied with a grin from ear to ear as he opened a huge cloth bag. "Look what Adiyah gave us for the medicines we gave her."
When he opened the bag I saw things I thought I would never see again: coffee, chocolates, canned vegetables, even honey and wine.
"Is this ...?" Yui asked as she admired a glass jar as if it were the most precious thing in the world.
"I thought we would relax a bit today and have a special dinner." Nowaki winked and I felt my heart flutter in my chest. "So I asked Adiyah to get them for me."
"Tomatoes!" Yui exclaimed excitedly as she raised the jar "Hiroki, look! TOMATOES!"
I understood the reason for her excitement, even in Satellite City you couldn't get tomatoes all year.
Yui knelt before the bag to empty its contents, she looked like a little girl on Christmas day.
"Honey, wine, coffee, cheese" She hugged things with great enthusiasm and my joy for her turned to compassion. I never imagined that while taking these things for granted while living in Satellite City, she missed them so much.
"Olive oil!" she exclaimed even more excited "Nowaki, can we make a pizza?"
"Yes, Yui." Nowaki smiled at her. "Let's make a pizza."
"Yes!" She laughed excitedly. "I'm going to prepare the oven. We'll have pizza for dinner!"
She went to the kitchen jumping with joy and truth be told, her enthusiasm infected us all.
"Hiro, come for a moment please" Nowaki took me to Yui's workshop where we could talk privately.
" What is it? " I asked without understanding the secrecy.
"I talked to Adiyah about .. your situation," he said. "Several of your students and colleagues have been interrogated, including ... Akihiko Usami."
I was filled with anxiety and guilt. I never wanted to drag Akihiko or Miyagi into this.
"No one has been arrested so far, apparently no one has been able to verify that you have disappeared for helping us"
" Nowaki" I asked in a plea "take me on your next trip. Akihiko must know why I left."
Nowaki sighed.
"I was about to say that," he replied. "Perhaps he deserves an explanation."
I knew how uncomfortable it was for Nowaki my persistence to protect Akihiko, but I knew that he would also understand that he was important to me and that at a time like this I couldn't leave him on his own.
"Thanks," I said sincerely.
"I just want you to be sure of what you will do," he said. "It may be risky."
"Nowaki, I trust Akihiko with my life. I know he would never be able to turn me over to the police."
"Okay, okay," he rested his hands on my shoulders. "For now, let's relax with the rest."
It was incredible to me how an invented occasion like a dinner with good food served to relax the atmosphere so much. I suppose that even in the midst of the battle to survive there must be room for recreation.
"Take Hiroki." Yui held out one of the glasses we used for tea filled with wine. I accepted it because I thought I also needed to relax a little.
I improvised a toast with her and tried it. I missed the wine from Satellite City.
The room was filled with a fantastic smell when Nowaki and Shōta took the first pizzas out of the oven and brought them to the table. Suddenly I felt touched, I think I had never had such a dinner.
"Hey you," Kō sat next to me, he seemed a little affected by the liquor already. "I'm sorry for what I said about the sunstroke ... I didn't really mean it, maybe I did, but I shouldn't have. Sorry."
"No problem, Kō," I replied. "Although I would be more happy if you didn't take so long to apologize, but it's fine."
" Well, that ... is that I didn't trust ya very much, ya know? But ya don't seem like a bad person to me anymore." He smiled at me. If Nowaki loves ya, well I love ya too.
He latched onto my shoulder in a slightly awkward but fraternal hug and I appreciated that we had finally made amends.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Nowaki asked excitedly "Let's eat!"
Without further ado, I took a slice of the pizza and tried it. The fresh ingredients flooded my mouth and generated a pleasant sensation in my chest.
" It's delicious!" Yui excitedly savored the piece that she had picked and I couldn't help but feel glad.
Looking around me and seeing everyone excited to share a dinner together, remembered me how distant I was from my family in the City. After finishing college, I had only visited my parents a few times; I preferred to be alone at home reading books. Not because I didn't like being with my parents, but because I thought I would always have them there for when I needed them.
"Hiro, what's wrong?" Nowaki rubbed my shoulder and took a seat next to me. Across the room; Yui and Kō were fighting for the last piece of pizza.
"I remembered my family," I confessed. "This ... made me remember how ungrateful I was with them."
"Someday, when all this is finally over... you'll return home and you will be able to share with your family."
Didn't know how he could be so sure that this would ever pass, nor how he could transform reality so that my exile from the city could only become a bad memory; but there was such assurance in his words that I only ended up believing him. Nowaki had that power.
" Hey, you two! Today it is not the day to be sad!" Shōta exclaimed looking at me while he poured me more wine in the glass "Tonight we are celebrating!"
There was something in his eyes, something seductive that did not let me contradict him.
"Shōta, show me how they dance in Shelter Four!" Yui exclaimed with her cheeks flushed from drunkenness.
She stood next to him and they both started to improvise a dance. Yui's movements seemed somewhat awkward, but Shōta moved his hips in time with the tambourine in his hand. From one side to the other, as if his hands and body were sand at the mercy of the wind.
I was amazed at the elegance of his movements, but at the same time it was like falling into a spell; everything around me disappeared and my attention focused on the movement of his hands and his belly to the rhythm of a song I had never heard in my life, but I knew it was there.
He smiled at me knowing that I was only looking at him; there was such a load of eroticism in his way of dancing that I couldn't help but be embarrassed, but I couldn't stop looking at him either.
When he finished his dance everyone applauded and he threw himself over Kō to kiss him.
"Hiro, you can breathe now," Nowaki joked behind me. I felt like I would die of shame.
"No, it wasn't my intention, really" I tried to excuse myself, but they only laughed more.
"Don't worry, Hiroki." Shōta winked at me. "I like to know that I still have the Gift."
"Shōta is our Mata Hari" Masamune intervened raising his glass before him and everyone laughed again.
"Now it's your turn to tell us about yourself," Yui intervened, throwing herself on one of the cushions in front of me. "Tell us about your life in the city."
"Not much to tell, " I replied. "I'm actually pretty boring"
"Come on, Hiroki!" She insisted. "There must be something!"
"Well, my mother told me stories from the ancient world," I replied so as not to snub her. "On how she grew before the collapse."
"Really?" she asked. " And how was it?"
"Well, my mother told me that she grew up on a mountain where everything was green and there were many flowers," I began, "sometimes it also rained and at one time of the year even snow fell ...
"Snow? What is that?" Shōta asked.
"The snow was frozen water falling from the sky, like the rain," I replied. "At that time it was very cold and she had to wear a lot of warm clothes to not get sick. But when the season changed and it was very hot, she went to the sea."
"The sea was full of salty water surrounded by sand, people went there to bathe."
I remembered the photos my mother showed me of her trips to the sea and I described them to them as I kept them in my memory.
"The snow, the sea ... how many things did we lose, right?" Shōta let out a breath and I felt guilty for ruining the atmosphere of joy by evoking sad memories.
"I told you guys I was boring," I sighed sadly.
"No, Hiroki. I'm not saying it for you." Shōta tried to reassure me "It's just that… when you think about it, we lost many things and we keep losing."
"That damn dome took everything from us," Yui replied as her voice cracked. "I miss my mom so much"
I began to feel guilty for having unintentionally unleashed this wave of nostalgia, I felt that I had ruined the good time that everyone was having.
"Hey! Remember that we said it was forbidden to be sad today!" Nowaki intervened to save me. "One day this will be just a bad memory and we will get to know all those things that we feel we lost from the world… and we will see those we miss again."
I greatly admired and envied the security and hope that his words always conveyed. Nowaki was a born leader. He always managed to bring out the best in people.
"Nowaki is right!" Yui wiped away her tears and cheered up again "We are celebrating that we have pizza and good wine to eat! Shōta, explain that dance again."
"Thanks," I whispered to Nowaki.
"Don't worry," he replied. "I meant it."
He smiled at me and I didn't know exactly if it was the wine, or the gestures he had made towards everyone, but I was immensely attracted to him.
"Well, thanks for dinner," Masamune got up from the sofa, "but I have to go back to my room."
He patted Nowaki a few times on the shoulder and stumbled back to his bedroom.
After a while, Kō and Shōta also went to their room; and Yui ended up falling asleep on the cushions in the living room.
"We should take her to bed," I said to Nowaki. "She will get up from there with terrible back pain."
"You're right," he replied, placing one arm under hers and the other under her legs to lift her up.
As soon as we left Yui in her bedroom, I decided to go back to mine. I had drunk a lot and was afraid of what might happen if Nowaki and I were left alone.
Thanks for dinner, "I said on the threshold. "It was a nice gesture."
"I did it with pleasure," he replied. "You don't have to thank me."
"I must also thank you for the risk you are taking by taking me to the city ... you don't have to."
"I do it because I love you, Hiro." He opened up to me. "If this is important to you, it's also important to me."
I couldn't resist anymore and let the alcohol guide me. I grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to me, joining his lips to mine. At first he seemed confused, but I felt when his hands closed around my waist and he held me tight.
I fumbled open the door behind me and we entered my room. I didn't want to part from his lips, at least not while I could use the urge to act.
I felt the warmth of his hands on my back under the clothes, and I gasped near his lips. Something inside me screamed how much I wanted him to do as he pleases.
When his lips came down to my neck he stopped suddenly. I was very confused.
"What the-"
"If I keep going" he gasped, his forehead resting on my shoulder. "I won't be able to let you go."
He released me slowly and looked me in the eye. He still seemed reluctant to part with me, but deep down I understood it too.
"Sorry," he apologized, leaving a kiss on my forehead before leaving.
When I lay down to sleep, it was still burning where he had kissed me.