Okay! Some changes! When I started writing this fic back in January, I was around Skypia/Water 7 level understanding of the series. Thus I stubbornly ignored the fact that Zoro only has one eye now and had no clue that Jinbei was even a cool dude bro that existed. SO. Now That I'm at the start of the Wano arc, time for some updates.
I will now (grudgingly but respectfully) acknowledge Zoro only has one eye.
Jinbei is part of the crew (woooo! we love us an amazing beautiful whale shark man! yaaas son of the seeea!).
I'm keeping Enma (even though I'm still not sure what the story is around the sword so like... You'll keep reading about him using Kitetsu for most things till I get there Xb)
I don't think these changes have any noticeable affects on the story to this point (half the eye contact and lets just say Jinbei was taking a lot of naps), so I look forward to trying to stay true to canon:) I think that's it... comment if you can think of any other drastic canon things I've been skipping out on:) you know. Other than giving ma peeps more existential crises in one night than most characters in One Piece have had for their entire existence.
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Day 1, Evening
Straw Hat Log Book POV, written by Nami:
March 16
The mission was a success on all sides! A few mishaps on Zoro and Tashigi's end but Zoro says Tashigi got what she wanted so I'm deeming it a success. To start at the beginning though... After Zoro and Tashigi left the Sunny at 6pm, we sailed to the side of Rieno directly opposite the village and harbor. Franky and Usopp's ship camoflouge worked perfectly. We climbed the cliffs and made it through the jungle to the base of the mountain that had the gold mint on top. Chopper's insect repellent was amazing! No one got a single bite! Well, except Zoro got stung on his mission but that's because he stepped on a wasp nest and probably killed their queen, so he had it coming.
Once we reached the mountain base, at around 10 pm, Team Gold (Franky, Luffy, Robin, Usopp, Sanji, and myself) started planting silent explosives. At midnight, we blew a gaping hole in the mountain base but no one was the wiser! We all went in and as I hypothesized, there was a tunnel leading through the core of the mountain and then bending to go under the ground back to the main base. Franky built a door for our hole so no passing guards would notice, and after a little sneaking we found their gold stores.
We took as much as we could, and after one close call (Luffy really wanted to draw a mustache on a guard sleeping on duty) made it back to the forest. At precisely 1:06 we started the second stage of the plan, a bombarding distraction! Robin got all the gold down to the ship while the rest of us picked a fight with the base for around 30 minutes until we also dove off the cliffs back to the Sunny. Thank God Robin has her spider net.
We made it to the rendezvous we agreed on with Tashigi and then just waited. She said they would get there around 1:45 if things went to plan, but her and Zoro didn't jump over the cliff until 2:30 am. With not so much as a warning at that! God forbid they use the transponder snails they both had to tell us they were WOUNDED AND HALF DEAD. I'll make Zoro write their account on what happened after he wakes up.
We sailed away from Rieno and only 5 Navy War Ships followed. Even with the extra gold weight we outran them without touching out Cola stores. Chopper bandaged Zoro and Tashigi, but after a few hours he admitted that he didn't have the right tools to help Tashigi. The only idea anyone could think of was to call Law. Robin traced the call and found out he was actually right under our ship at the time! After a bit of convincing, he agreed to help. He's such a stubborn ass. Anyways that was right around sunrise, and he finished surgery by noon.
Right after he left, we got hit with a typical New World squall and spent the afternoon battling the storm. And that leads me to now! Sanji made a fish dish for dinner. Tashigi is resting in the infirmary, and Zoro is up in the lookout, hopefully sleeping. He never likes staying in the infirmary cause him and Sanji have an ongoing bet about who will have less hospital time by the time we reach the One Piece. So far Sanji is winning. But I think that's just because he gets in less fights. Chopper is sitting beside me and wants me to record that he hates both of them for this bet.
I think we should have drugged him cause he's been acting SUPER weird all day long. When him and Tashigi got back, he tried to catch some shut eye on the deck but I think he knew Tashigi wasn't doing too hot. Then he got duped into getting a surgery (Chopper says the look on his face was priceless!), and he woke up again with the storm and had to help us fight it. He says he's not moody but I've never heard him cuss and snap at people so much in my life (it was like everyone was Sanji).
Anyways, we're now heading for an island that's a few days away. No one's sure how long Tashigi will be out, and while Luffy still thinks she's part of the crew now and doesn't understand why we don't keep sailing for our next goal, we convinced him the nearest island has amazing souvenirs so he's okay with going.
Hopefully we'll find out more about all this when that silly marine woman wakes up. Who thought someone so boring and plain looking could get us all riled up and curious! First she shows up asking for a ride, we have to pull teeth to get her to give us even a slight clue of what her goals are, and now she's got this bag full of books and a weird Log Pose. Zoro wasn't happy when we started digging through it, and Luffy made us close it and put it next to her bed with orders to not snoop- before I could actually read the inscriptions on the Log Pose at that. Can you believe it?! Luffy! Told us not to snoop! Something about he promised her she could keep her secrets on the ride to Rieno.
I think Tashigi-chan has us all acting a bit weird though. Well, not all. Mostly just our lazy swordsman. We all think something happened on the island. Robin thinks they kissed. Franky bet 20 beli against her, saying they had sex. Usopp made the third suggestion that they just had a really big stupid fight. Brook bet with Franky, Jinbe mused that they kissed but it was an accident during a fight thus why Zoro was grumpy, so he threw 5 Beli in the pot. Luffy had to be reminded what kissing was but then he threw in with the Franky and Brook sex theory. Sanji of course agreed with Usopp. Chopper and I are still conflicted but we're both leaning towards joining Jinbe.
Either way the betting pool now has 200 beli in it.
What I don't understand is wh-
"Nami, are you using the logs as a personal journal again?" Chopper asks, and I shoot straight up in my seat with panicked urgency as I drop my pen and wave my hands in front of my face.
"no no no! I wasn't!" I squeal, quickly turning to pick my pen back up as Chopper stands on the table next to the book and leans over to read, his little furry face scrunched in concentration.
"Yes, yes you are!" He shouts, pointing at one of the paragraphs. I let out a huff and push him away before picking up the pen again.
"Mind your own business." I state cooly as I finish the entry, crossing out my last sentence and signing it before closing the book. "And for your information, recording bets is very important!"
"I thought the logs are everyone's business." The reindeer crosses his arms and lets out a little puff of air. "And if you record the bet, Zoro won't be able to write his account without seeing it! He might change what he tells us depending on who he wants to win."
"Well that will be funny. If he doesn't want Sanji to win he'll have to admit he either kissed or slept with a marine while on a mission." I muse, a wicked grin curling at my lips. Chopper's eyes go a bit wide before he shakes his head in frazzled dismay, not sure what to think of the propositions.
"I think I might actually bet with Usopp. I don't think Zoro would kiss someone, even on accident." The little reindeer grows confident as he states his opinion, smiling for a moment as he sits down on the table, short legs dangling over the edge as he pulls his plate of fish back on his lap and takes a bite.
I lean back on my chair, closing my eyes with a smile as the last warm rays of the sun filter through the library windows. "Maybe. I don't know. He's never talked about romantic endeavors before. Just makes fun of Sanji." I muse, eyes still closed. I can practically feel Chopper slowly lose his smile as the doctor ponders something else.
"Nami.. Zoro has been grumpy today. Do, do you think he's okay?" The little reindeer asks, voice quivering with concern. I snort before sitting up and crossing my arms on the table, looking at my friend with a raised eyebrow.
"I dunno. Don't really care. Why don't you ask him?" I prompt, before pushing my chair back and standing, grabbing the log to put away. "Oh wait, I still need Zoro to do his entry.."
"whaaa! What do you mean you don't care?!" Chopper sounds extraordinarily indignant as he gives me a pout. "You should care about your friends." He huffs.
I roll my eyes and wave one hand absentmindedly at him as I deposit the logbook back on the table and pick up my empty plate. "I care about him silly. But if Zoro has something he needs to say he'll tell us. Otherwise I think he likes to work through his thoughts on his own." I pause, and offer an impish grin at the doctor. "I'm not saying she's the only reason he's in a bad mood, but I do know that Tashigi-chan makes him think a lot more than he's used to. Does that idiot some good, shaking up his cycle of booze, training, and sleeping."
I giggle lightly, and give Chopper a wink as the doctor smiles shyly.
"It is interesting to watch him keep giving her those strange looks. I hope she stays with us when her wounds heal." Chopper sighs contentedly before hopping down from the table, his now empty plate also in hand as he pads towards the door. I raise an eyebrow as I watch the back of his head, confused for a moment by his sentiment until-
Ah, those looks. The ones everyone in the crew who weren't completely oblivious had caught on our swordsman's face these past two weeks. So basically everyone but Luffy Chopper and Zoro..
I grin. "Yeah, interesting. Chopper, remind me to tell Robin I'm joining her side on this bet."
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[March 16,
Me and Navy Brat snuck into the base.
We beat a bunch of people up.
We fought a weird devil fruit holder. Had some camaflouge devil fruit ability. Navy Brat got hurt.
Made it back to the boat.
- Sword.]
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Day 2, Morning
Robin POV:
"Oh my." I exclaim, eyebrows knitted together as I hold the newspaper out in front of me. Well, Nami didn't have to complain about Zoro's sparse entry anymore. We could just glue this article into the log...
A large picture spread across the front page, above the fold, shows a bloody scene in front of an elevator. Zoro stands with swords drawn, body facing the elevator but head turning around with a murderous glint in his eye even just on paper. However, his static infamy pales in comparison to the ferocious yell clearly ripping out of Tashigi's lungs as the picture captures her cleaving a marine in half.
"He won't be on active duty for a while.." I mutter as I lift the paper up a bit so I can read the article below. Scanning through the story, I'm not sure if I want to laugh, cringe, or gasp as each new turn of events gets recorded. On the outside, my expression stays neutral. Apparently some journalist got a hold of the base security footage and had a hay day.
"What's this?" Franky's voice comes from behind, and I straighten the paper so he can read the headline as he peers over my shoulder. "Navy Traitor teams up with Straw Hats in brutal Massacre." He reads it once, pauses, then "MASSACRE?! Whaaaa?! That's not super at all!"
His yells quickly pique the interest of everyone else on deck and soon the whole crew (minus the pair in the stunning photo) gather around to ooh and aah at the story.
"Why the heck did Zoro act like nothing happened?! This is a big deal! He took down the base commander? The marine's are gonna be pissed!" Nami shouts, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation.
"I don't like having our crew name next to a word like massacre.." Chopper voices timidly.
"Did he take down the commander? or did Tashigi.. it says they don't have the footage for it." I muse as I kneel down to place the paper on the grass so everyone can lean over and read what they want.
"Oh boy.. massacre.. does it say how many people actually died Robin?" Usopp asks, his voice just as nervous as Choppers.
"You are all missing the important information here." Sanji states, hidden mirth in his tone before he takes a draw on his cigarette and points at a specific part of the page. "They actually did the Slap-Slap fruit gig! AND HE HAD TO SING BINK'S SAKE BY HIMSELF! HA! HAHA-!"
Sanji laughs so hard he falls on the lawn, rolling around as he kicks his feet, gasping for air as he wipes happy tears from his eyes. It takes a few moments, but finally the whole crew is suppressing giggles and cackles as they envision the scene, Luffy falling on the ground himself with a loud guffaw beside Sanji, who continues- "She had the whole island duped into thinking she hated him! Son of a motherless goat- PFFFT! Whoever this author is, they're good! They know what actual important information is. Aaaahhh" Sanji lets out a satisfied sigh before sitting up and grinning at all of us.
I try to reign back my chuckles, not wanting to laugh too much at our swordsman's expense. In reality it was a bit of a serious report. This is the first time we purposefully attacked a marine base with actual malicious intent, and while our public image isn't all that important, I hope none of our true friends get the wrong idea. We may not know the reason, but we all trust that whatever Tashigi went looking for is worth a few cracked navy skulls. Luckily, the story does focus on the Navy Captain's actions and muses on her intentions more than it lays blame on us- other than to claim we might have brainwashed the poor woman through our past interactions.
"It's not every day a navy official takes obvious actions of betrayal while still affiliated with the Marines." Jinbe notes, his deep voice like gravel, thick with thought. "Even less when the papers actually report it. This must be from Morgan's press."
"Yohohoho! We have picked up quite the spitfire lady, haven't we!" Brook hums. "maybe when she wakes up she'll let me-"
"NO!" Nami whacks the skeleton over the head with her weather baton and leaves him to lie on the ground.
As everyone slowly starts to drift away again, satisfied with their new knowledge, I can't help but glance up at the tiny roofless crows nest on the main mast, letting out a small sigh. With a wave of my arms, I manifest an eye on the side and frown as I see Zoro still leaning against the wooden wall, fast asleep with his face stuck in a frown.
"You got to fight a lot of people, and you know Tashigi is practically in the clear. So what's wrong Mr. Swordsman?" I mumble quietly to myself before letting the eye dissolve and turning away, back to my lawn chair and a book titled "Manticores impact on early agriculture and mating rituals".
Everyone has their story, but not everyone knows everyone's details. We all understand that the sword with the white scarab is important, and we know there's a promise behind his dream. But no one's ever asked for more information. It's never felt... important. or necessary. Because we know Zoro, who he is now. and in a way that's all that really matters. But Tashigi... I think she knows something the rest of us don't. And it bugs him.
Ah well. At least he's here among friends. He'll figure it all out eventually, in his own time and in his own way.
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Day 2, midnight
In the middle of a hurricane
Zoro POV:
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!BANG!
Lightning and thunder crash through the sky as I sprint across the grassy deck of the Sunny, torrents of rain driving my steps faster as I race for the infirmary.
That was bad. That was really bad. Navy Brat better be fine-
"Oof!" I slam into the stair railings, just in time to grip them for life as another wave crashes down on the Sunny, flooding the whole ship with salt water and marine life.
"Chskaa-" Gasping for air as I feel sharp wind lashing across my back, I blink salt water out of my eye and start stumbling then sprinting up the stairs.
"FRANKY! HEAD COUNT!" Robin's voice rings through the air, battling for dominance against the roar of the literal hurricane all around us. Cause God forbid I just have a normal night. "Someone check on Tashigi!" Chopper's voice is behind me, scared and desperate as he clings to the main mast.
"Working on it!" I shout over my shoulder to satisfy and hopefully help the guy relax. It has the opposite effect as Chopper turns cross and yells at me with shark teeth "NOT YOU ZORO! GO LAY DOWN AND STOP RIPPING YOUR STITCHES!"
Well, I tried. Not like he can relax right now anyway. No one can relax after that one wave literally flipped the boat upside down as if we were riding a roller coaster with a loop in it.
"Fricking sea." I curse at the most powerful force on earth as I finally top the stairs and rush for the infirmary.
"Oi Tash-" I slam the door open, staring into the room with a sick knot lodged under my ribs. I do NOT have time for idiot women to die cause they got flung out of a bed in the middle of hurricane zero. Eye adjusting to the dark, I look at the cot closest to the door where she's supposed to be sleeping and-
"..hnn.. What on earth is going on.." Tashigi groans as she sits on the floor, her back pressed against the bed frame that she's holding onto for dear life. Red blooms under her bandages, and even as she mumbles the words her head falls forward and muscles slump into unconsciousness.
"Guess it ain't time for you to wake up yet." I state as I jog over, the sick knot dissolving into unwanted relief at seeing her chest rise and fall with breathing. She doesn't look mostly dead anymore. I mean, besides the new blood. "You're a mess." With a shake of my head, I lean down and slide my arms under her shoulders and legs, then lift her back to the bed in a single, fast movement, trying to avoid agitating her injuries more than necessary. She barely groans at the transition, and her head falls to the right as I stand up straight, still glancing down. Still wanting to sigh in relief. Can't do that though.
"Now stay there you idiot." I growl as if its her fault for getting tossed out of bed before looking up to take stock of the rest of the room. Wind howls through the door, sea spray leaving droplets on every surface as I glance at vials and medical supplies scattered across the floor. Nothing seems to be leaking, so,
clink
I look down at my boots, eyebrows knitting together as I see her canvas bag dumped on the ground, books and that log pose thing spilling out of it. Should probably keep important paper stuff away from salt water. Kneeling down, I grab the canvas bag and start picking up the books to shove them back in.
"GUYS! TIE THAT SAIL BACK!" Nami's voice echoes through the door, several other crew members shouting back before I feel another wave hit us straight on, hear water rushing past and into the room. Gotta get back out there. I pick up the log pose ready to shove it back in the bag with the other books when, golden writing catches my eye-
"The greatest challenge.." I read the words out loud, quiet, eyebrows rising in curiosity as I skim the rest of the inscription, and before I can stop myself I turn the log pose nestled into the wooden cube over, looking for more, anything that will give more detail. "What the.." I mutter as I find a paragraph on the bottom and read more clarifying information.
!BANG!
The infirmary door slams shut and open again with a gust of wind, rain drops sharp as needles pelting into the room as I quickly tear my eyes from the navigation tool in my hand. FRICK. You weren't gonna read that you idiot.
I growl at myself as I shove the log pose back into the canvas bag. Rising from my knees with a grunt as I bite back a wince, I place the bag on Tashigi's bed, next to her head, ready to sprint out the door and finish fighting this damn hurricane and-,
My hand stays frozen on the bag, grasping the soft material in my fingers as I stare at the former navy captain. Her eyes are still closed, muscles in her face tense even in her sleep. Never resting, even when she's unconscious.
The greatest challenge?
I resist the urge to try and smooth the wrinkles in her forehead out, to press my palm against her skin forcing her to give in and relax. Like last time we fought.
When do we not fight?
"Stop it." I mutter as I quickly shake the thought loose and out of my head. Like fire, I pull my hand back, giving her one last glance over to make sure she is actually still breathing. Her chest rises and falls, steady.
"You're gonna get yourself killed you idiot." I mutter, glaring at her for half a moment before spinning and racing for the exit, poems and inscription phrases tumbling through my head still, the new information slowly clicking and confusing already complicated internal thoughts and processes. That I definitely don't have time for in the middle of a hurricane.
"Sorry I cursed at you earlier." I grumble under my breath as I skid out the door back into the fray of the sea. "If you could make this storm last longer that might actually be good."
!BANG!
Wind pressure helps slam the door behind me, and The Sunny creaks and groans as wooden joints saw and grind together at the overwhelming power of the ocean all around. Rain mixes with hail and I lift an arm to shield my face as I grip the railing in front of me.
"OI! NAMI! WHICH OTHER SAIL NEEDS TO GO UP!?" I shout into the fray, nodding as I hear the answer and race off to the left to help Chopper secure the sails he just hoisted.
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Marine HQ, 24 hours after article release
Smoker POV:
Damn kid.
I stare back at Sakazuki, not daring to look away as my eyes narrow and mouth tilts down in my classic neutral frown. The Fleet Admiral in return crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, stone eyes never losing their harsh glare as he uncrosses his arms a moment later to grab his coffee.
"I don't have all day Smoker. I'm already considering taking your post. Delaying further answers will confirm what I'm leaning towards. Why did you let Captain Tashigi continue in this information hunt." Sakazuki asks, his tone harsh.
"She never broke marine protocol while researching under me. I didn't see a reason to step in and intervene in her personal business, especially as the cause seemed worth investigating." I answer with a growl. Stupid, STUPID woman! Everything I've worked for in the navy- WE'VE worked for. And she throws it away. For what? Some damn log pose and a ridiculous legend?!
"Well now she's ransacked Rieno with the help of the Navy's highest priority threat. What do you call that? Not breaking protocol? Think she learned from example?" Sakazuki snarls, taking a large gulp of coffee before he slams the mug back on the table.
"If you want to accuse me of being a bad influence then just say so Sir. Otherwise I'm not sure why you summoned me here. I am not responsible for her choices- especially ones she makes while on task from one of your assignments." I retort quickly. I am not in the mood for politics. there shouldn't BE politics in the enforcement of justice. There should just be justice. real, justice.
"You damn well believe you're responsible! She and you both are notorious for turning a blind eye towards complicated situations. Breaking protocol." the fleet admiral's snarl is filled with contempt, but I still hold my ground, not dropping my eyes, though now I stare at a speck on the wall behind him. If I keep eye contact I might try to strangle the man. "You were her vice admiral. You will take responsibility for this mess, and you will do so by finding and eliminating her. And the Straw Hats."
I snort at the order, even as muscles in my shoulders tense and bunch together.
"Right. Because I haven't been chasing that damn Straw hat for the past 4 years. Define eliminate." I bark, voice gruff and thick. This is all so stupid. Also me. I'm stupid for mouthing off to a fleet admiral. No regret though. The guys obnoxious.
"No chance for her to escape justice."
The answer surprises me, and I look back to Sakazuki, raising an eyebrow as he ignores my lip. Instead, he's leaning forward to rest his forearms on the desk. "Kill her on site or maim her or something to ensure there's no chance of her escaping if you bring her back for trial. Although it would be better if you just killed her."
The words send ice down my spine, freezing me as I glare at the magma man. Sakazuki glares back, before letting out a sigh. Bowing his head slightly for a moment, he sits, quiet, thinking, before he visibly shifts in his seat as if coming to a decision and then glares up at me again.
"The five elders already contacted me. They want her dead ASAP. Be grateful I'm giving you a chance to find and kill her first before CP0 gets a hold of her." He pauses, before starting again, his voice much lower and sounding like gravel. "I don't need to tell you your fulfillment of absolute justice will be much kinder than theirs."
Sakazuki, apparently done with our conversation, turns and starts pulling files in front of him on the desk, reaching for a red pen as he takes another sip of coffee. A small clock tiks, toks, tiks, toks, on the corner of the wooden workspace-
"You're dismissed." he finally clarifies.
"Why do they want her dead."
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."
"Why don't I want the answer." I growl. Sakazuki finally stops his pen and looks back up at me, stone eyes as cold as ever.
"Because then I'd have to kill you."
"..."
My eyes narrow, slowly. Realization dawning, revelations significant but not specific. Now all I know is that something in that article pissed off the world government enough to demand blood. My captain's blood specifically.
I open my mouth, questions on the tip of my tongue, but the glare on Sakazuki's face clarifies that I've pushed my luck enough in this disciplinary meeting. I should have known that something deeper than my subordinate being an absolute idiot was going on the moment I got called to HQ to talk to the fleet admiral. When I read the article I thought I'd just get a call telling me to pack it back to the East Blue for punishment.
"Right." I give Sakazuki a final nod before turning and walking for the exit, pausing halfway there. "Thanks."
"You walk out of that door without saluting Smoker, you can expect a significantly worse demotion regardless of your success in this mission."
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Day 3, Dinner
Sanji POV:
"Oi moss head, dinner." I drone from the base of the main mast next to Usopp's garden, not really trying too hard to make my voice heard. If the guy doesn't wanna eat then I won't waste my food on him. Turning to my left I shrug my shoulders at Chopper. "See? he's fine. Let's go eat! Nami and Robin are hungry!" I smile with excitement as I clasp my hands next to my cheek. Oh they're gonna love tonight's main dish! Lamb slow roasted over a rare spice I found at the last port that gives off a tangy-
"Sanji! You didn't even try!" Chopper's indignant voice interrupts my thoughts on the meal down below, and I hold back a frown as I stare glummly at our ship's doctor. The reindeer just crosses his arms and raises a furry eyebrow at me as he starts tapping a hoof on the deck in impatience.
"He hasn't eaten in almost two days!" Chopper finally yells with concern. "And he won't even touch sake! At least, not a lot. Maybe a glass or two? half a barrel... HE HASN'T TOUCHED SAKE IN ZORO LEVELS AND I'M SCARED."
"Well your the doctor! Why don't you make him eat!" I deflect, crossing my arms in refusal.
"I keep bringing him food and he keeps telling me to take it back." Chopper whines.
"Sounds like a personal problem for him."
Chopper pauses for a moment, little face knitted in annoyed concern, before something flits through the little guy's eyes and he looks at me with a more smug expression.
"He said that lunch smelled awful." Chopper coos.
A vein pulses above my eyebrow.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended or amused that you think you can fool me into believing that." I deadpan.
Chopper just grins. "Only one way to prove me wrong!" He lifts a hoof to cover a snicker and I roll my eyes before uncrossing my arms to pull my cigarette from my mouth, waving it at the reindeer with an aura of general annoyance.
"Fine. I'll check on the s***** swordsman. But ONLY because I haven't seen him since the article came out and I wanna laugh at him for singing Bink's Sake." I clarify, but Chopper still lets out a squeal and grabs my legs in a reindeer hug. I let out a huff, holding back a small smile as I pat the doctor's head. Chopper approval is nowhere near a lady's approval, but it still feels pretty darn good. I glance up at the tiny crows nest that moss head's been hiding in and frown.
No sake? Still?
"I bet you're just stealing from the inventory at night you dissapointer of reindeer." I grumble under my breath.
After getting everyone else started on dinner and watching Nami~swan and Robin-chwan take their first bite of the tangy lamb for approval, I stand at the base of the main mast again, plate of food in hand, 30 minutes later. Looking up, I let out a sigh.
"OI MOSSHEAD. I'M COMING UP YOU LAZY ASS." I shout up the pillar of wood and then start climbing, careful to balance the food in my one hand, blinking a bit as the setting sun shines right in my eyes. Sake inventory was full and accurate. Which means he's actually been drinking significantly less, just like Chopper said.
Something's eating the guy.
I shake my head at the thought, dismissing the passing curiosity as I reach the wooden outlook and start climbing in. "Don't get mad if I step on your face." I shout in warning as I throw my leg over the 4 foot tall wall. Please let his face be there.
I step down on wooden planks- rats.- and turn around to take stock of the place, wrinkling my nose at the stench of dried blood and sweat. The roofless crows nest is barely 10 feet in diameter, the main mast running through the middle to let our Jolly Roger flap a few feet overhead.
Well, a few feet over my head. Looking down, I frown as I place a hand on my hip and glare at the swordsman sitting on the floor, his back straight as he sits cross legged, eye closed and hands in his lap as he meditates. Or sleeps. He dozes off a lot when he's recovering- an act he defends by sayin he already finished meditating if that happens. A few bottles of sake are scattered across the floor, along with a plethora of dirty old bandages that he must have torn off after Chopper's last visit.
"Disgusting.." I grumble under my breath before turning again to glare at Zoro. "Looks like you finally found where you belong. A dump."
Moss head barely cracks his eye open- so he is awake that bastard- to glare back for a moment before he just grunts and closes his eye again, expression turning neutral. I raise an eyebrow at his lack of a verbal response before shrugging and squatting down to put the plate of food next to him.
"You keep skipping meals Chopper's gonna come up here and drug you so he can stick you with a nutrition IV or something." I drone, leaning back till I'm sitting with my back to the mast. "Not that I care. Better chance of me winning the hospital bet."
I smirk at the claim, waiting for the usual retaliation. waiting. and waiting. and
Zoro never even twitches.
A sullen frown pulls at my mouth and let out a dissatisfied huff. What's the point of having an arch nemesis if the guy goes soft on ya?! With a roll of my eyes I reach in my pocket for a lighter and new cigarette. Drama queen. I should have brought sake and forced him to drink it. Sake..
"Oi." I pause as I stick my cigarette between my lips, chewing on the end a bit as a delightful thought surfaces. "Never told me ya had the 'voice of an angel'." I snicker as I remember the news article. Bless whoever thought it was important to spend a whole paragraph describing all the stupid stuff they saw moss head do on camera. Tasting bitter tobacco, I flip open the lighter lid and ignite a tiny dancing flame. Smoke curls into the cool evening air as paper catches and glows from fast embers. "Newspaper says ya can sing Bink's Sake better than that one frog choir trained to perform for the Celestial Dragons- pfffffffft-!"
I can't help it. My eyes crinkle in a laugh as I snort and slap my knee at the memory. "ooohwee! What I wouldn't give for one of those audio snails! HA!"
Zoro finally opens his eye to deadpan at me. I grin back.
"I knew that would get you." I chuckle in victory before taking a deep breath, smoke stinging my lungs before I exhale the cloud up into the night and look back at moss head. or- "Should I start calling you frog head? What's more insulting, really. I need your opinion on this so I can inflict as much emotional pain as possible."
"You planning on just sitting there all night?" Zoro asks, voice surprisingly free of malice.
"Maybe. Would that annoy you?"
"No." frog head states simply before standing up in a single motion. I roll my eyes as he throws a leg over the side of the crows nest and climbs out.
"Food waster." I yell after him.
"Give it to Luffy."
I look down at the plate of rice balls, frowning. No sake and no to his favorite food?
5 minutes later
"What you doing." I ask, pulling my half gone cigarette from my mouth as I plop down in front of Zoro who went to hide in the look out tower. Moss [frogs are gross but not always green so I'll have to save the nickname for song related insults] head opens his eye to look at the busted lock hanging loose from the trap door he asked Franky to install in the lookout tower a couple months back. A beat of silence passes before I see his tensed shoulder muscles relax and he closes his eye again. Heh. I win again.
"Meditating."
"How do you do that?" I probe, blowing a stream of smoke in his face with a smug grin. I love being annoying.
"By sitting still and shutting up."
"Hmm. Perfect activity for a moss head. You don't have a brain anyways so I see why you like it."
He doesn't bother to respond.
"Kinda boring. Do you get bored? I'd get bored. I am bored. But I guess it's worth a shot. To finally understand the mind of a water plant. Robin and I will have many discussions. Robin likes biology, right? Or I guess I should talk to Chopper. Maybe Law? But don't worry, I know your too shy to ask me to stay with you so I'll just stick around and-"
"Do you want to meditate?"
"I just said I'd stay and try my best to understand the mind of a small plant species li-"
"Then sit still and shut up."
"Am I annoying you?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Positive? Cause you look angry."
"I'm not angry."
"You're totally angry."
"No."
"Wanna fight?"
"I'm meditating."
"That doesn't do anything."
"Yes it does."
"Does it say how you lost your eye?"
Silence.
I raise an eyebrow in impressment as Zoro's face remains calm through the whole exchange, only slightly bitter that he didn't slip up in the moment and actually answer the eye question. Damn him and not telling anyone what the heck happened. We've ALL got money riding on that one. I tap a finger against the floor as I lean back, pouting only a little bit, supporting my weight on locked arms with palms pressed against the floor.
"Didn't lose it." Zoro's lip finally twitches up as he barely cracks his good eye open to give me his own smug look of victory.
Drama. Queen.
I let out a snort before shaking my head and smirking just a bit. A few minutes of comfortable silence pass, a wordless truce. Eventually, I lean back on my elbows, and then give up and just lay on the floor, letting the smoke from my cigarette fill the air in slight rebellion for him not eating his rice balls.
When I open my eyes again, the sun has set, bright moonlight spilling through open windows that Zoro probably adjusted to let the smoke out. I blink a bit groggily as I push myself up and turn around to see, s***** swordsman sitting in the exact same spot as before.
...
Alright. Fine. I'll acknowledge the glaring fact that something's off with my arch nemesis. I let out a sigh before I finally cross my own legs and match his meditating position.
"What are you thinking about." I ask. For a few seconds I don't think he's going to answer, then,
"Swords."
I roll my eyes. Of course. "What about them." I probe.
Another few beats of silence.
"How they're an extension of will." Zoro responds. Not loud, not quiet. Simple. "If any part of you is divided or distracted, you won't be reliable. Your blade shows that same weakness."
"So internal conflict is weakness?" I question, quirking an eyebrow at the logic.
"No." he says it with fire, before passion is replaced with doubt and he mutters almost to himself "yes-?" before barely flicking his head to the side and stating with determined vigor again- "No."
I don't bother holding back my snort, but look right at him in all seriousness a second later. "Are you divided?"
I realize that he's not looking at me, but past me. Out the window, to the moon, its pale light reflecting off his face twisted in thought.
"..maybe." He finally says, pulling his eye from the moon behind to glance at his swords that hang up by the weight lifting bench, before turning a neutral face back to me and closing his eye again. Slight tension lifts from the room at the verbal admission, and I can visibly see some weight lift off him a bit but-
"Really. That's it? That's all your gonna say?" I deadpan at him. I did not babysit this man child all night to walk away with him verbally confirming what any half blind semi aware of emotions person could see right away. Zoro opens his eye to glare at me.
"You expecting something else?"
"No. yes. no. What do you think idiot?" I roll my eyes before falling onto my back on the floor again. "actually never mind. This has not been worth it. Stay weird and bitter and sulky. My back is killing me and if you stay weird then I have a monopoly on Chopper cuddles." I look up at him, the stub of my burnt out cigarette sticking out of my mouth, "Chopper cuddles are the only known cure to bad napping spot back pain."
"Don't get too used to it." he grumbles, but doesn't offer a promise of being back soon. I lift back up on my elbows to give moss head a quizzical look.
"You know. It just took you three days of broody silence and starvation to verbally confirm to someone that you are- maybe- internally divided. Don't you think this process would go faster if you actually talked to someone?" I ask, deadpan. It's Zoro's turn to snort.
"I say what I need and want to say when I need and want to." he sums up, shrugging.
"Yeah yeah, whatever." I wave a hand at him with a shake of my head. "We all know that part. You don't have any problem sharing your thoughts. We all also know you only say half of what you observe or realize, usually only when it becomes relevant." My quizzical look turns irked as I slightly growl, "Apparently you've decided that the stuff your working through right now is irrelevant to the rest of us."
"Because it is."
"Maybe. Look, I'm not asking you to change. I'm just saying you might have better luck working through all your self proclaimed 'internal conflict' if you laid it out to someone and wasn't afraid to ask questions or talk." I finish with a huff before rolling onto my stomach and standing up, stretching my arms over my head as I groan, bones cracking after hours of being in the same position.
"Drop the coward talk. I'm not afraid of anything." Zoro's voice bites, and I pause in my stretching to look over my shoulder at him, eyebrow quirked at the tone. Was that a bit of fight I heard? Oh God please tell me my arch nemesis is returning so I can kick his ass and force him to sing Bink's Sake in front of a live audience.
"And why do you think that any of the questions I have to ask could be answered by someone else." he continues with his own grumpy growl. Someone's tired. "I should be able to answer my own damn questions."
I blink a bit as I stare at the idiot swordsman, his words slowly sinking in, before I full on face palm, slapping my forehead so hard it hurts. "That's not how questions work dude."
"Whatever. I'm going to bed." Zoro finally stands up also, wiping a hand over his face as he yawns.
"Are you actually going to bed or are you gonna go hide out in the other crows nest until you answer all your own questions?"
"Why do you care?"
"I don't. I'm just pissed cause I woke up from a nap and that you're still acting weird and the reason why is cause you can't differentiate between internal conflict and just being a dumb ass in a topic area." I stifle my own yawn as I head for the busted trap door. It is too late and I am too tired for this. I hear Zoro shuffle towards the door behind me, can almost hear gears in his head turning at my words, until,
"Wait, what?"
"Dude. You like Tashigi chan- which you do not have my approval by the way- and for some reason that's messing with you." I state flatly as I turn around and start crawling down the hatch, unamused and bitter that normally I could hold this level of stupidity over him for years. I mean I plan to. I'm just too tired to appreciate right now.
"You don't want anyone to know why this is 'dividing' you? Fine. I get it. There's other stuff going on. But unfortunately you also just HAVE A CRUSH and you don't know how to have a crush cause you are the dumbest man I have met when it comes to general human interaction in terms of romance and we live on a pirate ship with flipping LUFFY. Let that settle in moss head. MONKEY D. LUFFY IS BETTER AT ROMANCE THAN YOU."
My unamused look turns slightly amused as Zoro stares at me with wide eyes and jaw dropped, stuttering for words as I snort and keep going down the stairs. Worth it. I pause on the ladder, my head already level with the floor as I stifle another yawn and look up at my arch nemesis friend lazily.
"Maybe you're just waiting for the person that you can talk to about your thoughts even when they seem irrelevant to anything. Maybe that person doesn't exist. I hope for option two because I want you to die alone and sad. After you watch all of us die first of course. I expect you to visit my grave when you're 70 and have back issues."
Zoro just keeps staring, till he shakes his head clear and finally stutters out "how did-"
"Ohohoho nope." I guffaw and start climbing down again. "Answer your own questions. Rice balls are on the kitchen table. And for God's sake let Chopper wrap the stab wound. Night s*** sword."
End Notes:
*finishes writing*
*looks at word count*
*laughs hysterically then cries and drowns apology in ice cream cause frick that's 8000 words*
*whispers* I'm sooorryyyy