Once our bellies were full, I excused myself to go to Gryffindor table and sit to talk with Neville about our Herbology homework and hear the latest cruelty that Snape had inflicted upon him. We were laughing and bemoaning our homework for the weekend when Mato walked up to me. He nodded at Neville and we said good night. The air was different, cleaner, and when we finally found a seat in a far corner of the Gryffindor table, out of most sight, I could sense nervousness but not tension. Something had changed.

Mato was fourteen now. Already his and Jacy's faces were changing and diverging from each other's. Mato was getting wider in shoulder, which was normal for people with earth tendencies. He was a well rounded caster, good in all elements but he favoured earth and fire, much like Jacy favoured wind and earth, and I favoured water and wind. It was also why I thought we had such difficulties in our relationship.

"So, what did you want to discuss specifically?"

I took a deep breath, and I let it out rashly. I didn't spend much time thinking about this conversation, which in hindsight was not wise. I should have planned a general flow. Now I didn't know how to start. I opened my mouth and closed it a few times before he put one hand up on the table.

"We do this in my family. It helps us remind ourselves that the other person has a beating heart and feelings the same as we do. Place your hand in mine, and when it is your turn to speak, put your hand on the top. You must wait for the other to finish speaking before you can put your hand on the top. You must listen."

I looked up from a bowed head and with trepidation set my hand on top of his, upright. His hands were bigger than mine, and it felt like being cradled, even though I don't think he was trying to. I breathed in and out slowly. I gathered the fire in my stomach and moved it to my chest. Courage, and heart. I looked up from my lap.

"I was so angry with you about the fight," his deep brown eyes were unwavering, but I could see him shift his weight slightly, "But I'm not anymore. You said you were homesick and that's why you were testy, but I think it is more than that. I feel like you… like you don't care for or about me." I stopped and looked at our hands.

He slid his hand out gently from under mine. In the moments I had to wait for him to start speaking my mind was a beehive, but the chill from the table on the top of his hand meeting the warmth of my palm helped me understand the exchange. I had not been vulnerable in years. I had not put myself in someone else's hands since I had been trained that emotions should be kept inside, never shown to others. It was a way that weakness would be exploited by those in the political houses of the world and even those who would undermine my time as Seneschal.

"Thank you for sharing your feelings. I know you are not used to that," he started and I looked at his face. It was calm, and his eyebrows were upturned, "Do you remember why I attacked Lockhart?" He slid his hand under mine, allowing me to answer.

I thought for a minute, so much had happened, but still, how could I have let it slip my mind? I became ashamed, and I nodded, "He called Elemental magic 'savage'," I put my hand under his.

He breathed out through his nose and his gaze fixed on the table, and yet far away, "I did not chose to come here," and then he dropped his voice to a very small murmur, "We were assigned," and he looked at me, but I was unable to keep his gaze.

"Ever since coming here we have been othered. We were considered less than, backwards, and savage by some— not all, mind you, but some. I'm sure you have had some experience with this, but Jacy and I are different."

I nodded, and sucked my lips into my mouth. I could feel emotion rising in my throat, but I held it down by gulping.

"This is the time that I should be with my father, learning about being a leader for our people. Learning more about my own magic. Our own relationship with wand magic. I felt like we were being dragged here by a spoiled princess." I looked up, wanting to counter his statement, but I stopped myself. My hand was not on top.

"I did not know what your life was like before we met. I did not know that you spend every holiday alone. I did not know that you have not had a break from your training since you started it. There are many things I still do not know. But I know now: you are not a spoiled princess." He stopped talking and waited for me, so I slowly removed my hand from the bottom and put it on top of his.

"I will admit that it has only occurred to me recently, what this time will cost each of us. And I am sorry for only coming to this conclusion now, and to hear about the difficulties you and your brother face is upsetting for me." I looked to my lap, and when I looked up at him I said with resolve, but the tears quivered and threatened to pour " 'I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not in my nature.'" I looked away again, "That's Jane Austen. I consider her one of my 'friends'… back home. The only friends I have back home are in books. I do not have…" I gulped and only managed an aspiration of "…family."

I rubbed my neck and face with my free hand, trying to collect the emotions that were crawling on my skin, and stop them from escaping, "I can have a semblance of normalcy here. Away from the Ministers, the training and the empty halls of that house. I am going to be in the same position tucked high away on a shelf for the rest of my life. I just want to know what a human that could love someone in halves is even like." I slipped my hand under his before I said anything more.

He nodded and paused. "You want to get a sense of the true nature of people, for yourself. It seems we wanted to learn different things but we wanted to learn them on our own terms." He smiled, "At last. Something that is similar between us." I looked up and saw warmth spread through his face. I relaxed, "I am not angry at you about the fight. You were right. I was blinded by my rage, and I ignored everything around me. But you also didn't follow up with Lockhart. You let his comments float away into the air, leaving him with no consequence, and that hurt me. You will represent both cultures in your future, and this was a test in my eyes, and you let me down."

He wiped his mouth with his left hand before continuing, "How am I supposed to believe in you if you can't stand up for us now, when it is easiest?" Mato let this question sit in the air around us heavy and dense before removing his hand from the top.

In a moment, the fire in my chest went 'poof' and was out. What courage I had to start the conversation was gone, replaced by the same emptiness when I learned that I was going to become a political gain when it came to the unicorns. I had failed. I wanted to sink into the ground, suffocating on the way down.

I saw our hands on the table, my hand on his. He was here, wasn't he? He wanted to have this conversation too, otherwise we wouldn't be making the effort to be sure we were both heard. He hadn't given up on me yet.

"You're right. I did let it go. I let my own emotions take over my actions, and let it go. I will go to the Headmaster in the morning. I will find a solution. I'm sorry to have let you down." I kept my eyes trained on the table, and my right hand dug my nails into my upper thigh until I couldn't feel my nails anymore.

"Thank you. You know, when I had to sit, just like this, and explain what happened to my father, he told me about your situation. No one should have to go through what is happening to you, especially not as alone as you are. It has always been my goal to become the Chief of Security to the Seneschal, but you made me question if you were the one I wanted in the position."

My whole body started to shake. I was trying so hard to keep it together. I wished above all things we weren't having that conversation in the Great Hall and we were somewhere private, but we weren't and this was another test, of a different measure. A Seneschal does not cry in public.

"I decided that it was unfair to blame you for bringing us here, when all you wanted was a little peace. And after talking to my Dad, I know that you have a lot on your plate. After talking to you I want to help you, because I do care about you El, and I want you to be a better leader."

I turned my eyes to my lap and before he could put his hand underneath I grabbed it and mumbled, "Thank you…"

"It's okay, El. She's not here. You can let it out." He flipped his hand over and squeezed mine. "You need to let it out."

I silently cried, my face looking at my lap and my hand covering my mouth, my eyes slammed shut, my shoulders shuddering. He floated overtop of the table with the wind under his shoes and he sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me and pulled my head into his chest.

"It's okay, it's okay, let it out." He rocked me until I stopped. He smelt like cinnamon and smoke. His family had cleansed his clothes before he came. It stung my nose with the sharpness at first, but it felt freeing and familiar after a few breaths. I calmed and he froze some water from a goblet and wrapped it in an unused napkin to put under my eyes to stop the swelling.

He walked me back to the common room and before he could leave I threw myself around his neck and he set his hands on my back. It felt like a storm had passed and how the rain made everything feel clean and fresh. I got back to the common room and my classmates were huddled together chatting, they called me over, but I smiled weakly and said I was going to bed. I took off my uniform and put on my pyjamas. I took my toothbrush and brushed my teeth in a daze. I don't remember coming back to the dorm room. I remember sinking into my bed and pulling the thick quilted covers up to my shoulders before the plant above my head reached one leafy tendril down and brush my forehead. I reached my left hand up, and it wrapped around my wrist with care.

I slipped into sleep knowing that I would have to steel myself for the morning, to right a wrong I should have done from the start.

AUTHOR NOTE: So this is actually all I have written, so it may be a while before I can get more out... as always tips/tricks, comments/feedback always niiice.