Chapter 19
Usagi finally set Luna down, after almost five minutes of practically choking to poor cat. Luna didn't seem to mind too much though. She seemed to be happy just seeing Usagi again.
"How have you been Usagi?" Luna asked.
"I've been great. Mamo just took me bowling, for the first time tonight. It was so fun. You know, I thought I was going to slip and fall because those shoes have no grip and the lanes are so polished, but I didn't. Mamo did though. He caught himself before he hit the ground. He did my usual pinwheel thing though. Luna, it was so funny." Usagi giggled.
Luna and Artemis both laughed as Mamoru blushed.
"Luna, where have you been? I've missed you." Usagi said softly.
"I've been working through some stuff, and I kind of had to do it on my own." Luna responded.
"I could have helped you. Been there for you, talked to you about it, helped you." Usagi said sadly.
"I know, but this stuff, was stuff I had to figure out myself. I had a lot of memories that all came back at once. Some of it not so good. I needed to sort it all out then I had to work on the emotional parts of it all."
"But Luna, you didn't have to do that alone."
"Yeah. I kind of did. Some of it made me so angry, and I've realized that, I kind of. Well when I'm angry, I take that anger out on the people I love, the people that mean the most to me. Usagi, I didn't want to do that to you. You don't deserve it. Not at all. I would have hurt you very badly, and I would have never forgiven myself for it."
"I would have understood, and loved you anyway."
"I know that, but this was something I needed."
"I don't like it, but I guess I understand. Mamo gets like that some times too. So does Rei. I love them both anyway. Sometimes, I guess people just need time. I'm not really like that so sometimes it doesn't make sense to me, but I try to understand. Do you want to tell me about it now?"
"Yes I would actually. It's a lot, and a hard story to hear. Unfortunately it's mine. One I have to live with. Are you sure you still want to hear it?"
"Yes, Luna. No matter how hard it may be to hear, I want to hear it. You're important to me, and I want to be here for you. I want to be able to know you, and understand you. The real you. Ok?"
"Ok. Thank you Usagi."
Luna took a deep breath, and began telling Usagi everything she had told Mamoru about her mother, Queen Serenity, and her life on her home planet. She also told Usagi about her suspensions on the moon, and what she had done to cause them. She ended it with explaining what she saw at the final battle on the moon, what she heard, how she felt, and why things were so hard for her to accept that the Moon Kingdom was gone.
It hadn't taken long into the story for Usagi to start crying. Mamoru had ended up moving to the couch, to sit behind Usagi. He had pulled her back against his chest, and wrapped an arm around her waist for comfort and support. Thru the whole thing, Usagi didn't say a word. She just listened, until Luna finished.
"Usagi, I am so sorry for everything I have said to you, and how I behaved. You didn't deserve any of it." Luna said softly.
Usagi didn't say anything, just pulled the little cat to her, and held her close. They sat like that for minutes. Before Usagi finally spoke.
"Oh Luna. I am so sorry those things happened to you. I am glad that Queen Serenity, and Artemis saved you. I never hated you for the things you said and did to me. They hurt, a lot sometimes sure, but I knew you said them because you wanted me to do better. I have to admit though, that it made me sad that you didn't seem to see that I was doing better. That did hurt, but Luna, I forgive you. That's what you do when you love someone, you forgive them, and work together to get past it."
"It doesn't make it right though."
"No it doesn't, but what's important is that it's in the past now. It's over. Now we can move forward, and work together to not repeat it. You and me, we're a team, but we're more than that. We're friends, we're family. You were the only one who was there when I first became a senshi. Sorry Mamo, but she was there for every second. We became a team in that moment. Granted you weren't a great teacher, but you were still there. You were the only one who knew what was going on, and you stayed with me, you helped me. You've never given up on me. Yeah your methods of encouraging me weren't great, but you still tried. That's what matters. What's most important. You were there, and you tried."
"Yeah, but."
"No buts. It's in the past now. Lets move forwards, ok? No looking back."
"Ok. I'll try. You're amazing girl Usagi, and you're turning into an even more amazing woman."
"Well I had a lot of help with that. Luna, will you come home now, please? I really miss you. It's not the same without you. It's kind of lonely not having you curled up on my bed. I miss talking to you about my day. I even miss you yelling at me about doing my homework, and getting up in the morning."
"Yes Usagi. I'll come home. I've missed you too. Even the way you say my name when I irritate you."
Usagi laughed, as Luna nuzzled against her chin, and Usagi scratched her behind her ears.
"By the way. I will figure out a way to fix it so you two can have children, if you want. When you're ready. I don't think I'll ever be able to fix it so you two can change back into humans, but I'll find a way for you two to be parents. Ok? Mamo and I shouldn't be the only ones to be terrorized by a hellion." Usagi said with a giggle.
"Uh. I'm not sure if that can be reversed. Thank you for the thought though." Luna said quietly.
"Oh no. I WILL find a way. You two deserve it after all you've been through."
"I won't argue, but please don't be upset if I don't get my hopes up."
"I understand, but I'm going to try any way."
"Thank you Usagi."
"You're welcome. Artemis, you've been awfully quiet. Are you ok?" Usagi asked the white male cat.
"I…well….I….not really. I'm angry right now. Not at any of you. At Luna's mother. I don't remember any of it, but it just makes me so angry that a mother would do that to her children." Artemis replied.
"Me too. We need to remember, though, that she's gone. She can't hurt any one any more. That you're both free, and you're safe now. The best thing any of us can do, is learn from her mistakes, and try our best not to repeat them." Usagi said as she reached over to run her hand down Artemis's back.
"You're right. I'll get past my anger."
"I know you will. Also remember, you saved Luna from that life. You loved her enough to beg someone you didn't know to save her. Someone who could have just as easily reported you for treason. You were willing to sacrifice your marriage to protect, and save your wife, the woman you love. That is what is most important. You loved her enough to take that chance. A lot of people wouldn't do that. They would turn a blind eye to protect themselves from any kind of pain. You didn't. You were willing to accept spending the rest of your life alone, if it meant the woman you love was safe from harm."
"You are very wise, Usagi, and I will do my best to remember that. Thank you." Artemis said.
"Luna, you said something in your story that I want to address." Usagi said.
"Ok?" Luna responded questioningly.
"You said that the difference between us, and you in terms of the ending of Silver Millennium was that while we died, you slept. For us it actually ended, and we started life over, from the beginning. While it never really ended for you because you slept. That to you, it had just happened recently, instead of a thousand years ago. I never thought of that. I never considered how you were feeling. I failed you as a friend because of that. I am so sorry for failing you in that way." Usagi said sadly.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't know because I never told you. I never talked about it. One thing I've learned about you, Usagi, is that you never push us to talk about things that may upset or hurt us. You just accept, and love us for who we are. You seem to know that eventually we'll open up on our own. Once we do, you let us talk, and still accept us as we are despite the past or what we're feeling. The only way you push, is you some how make us love you. I know I am glad you do. You didn't fail me as a friend because of that. You made me love you when I felt lost, alone, angry, and confused." Luna responded.
"She's right, you know. You have this way of crashing into our lives. Pretty much literally, most times, and you make us love you. Not because you force us, but because of who you are. The type of person you are. Everyone one of us had walls of some type. With all of us, you didn't try to break down those walls, you just jumped them, and joined us on the other side. You made sure we didn't feel alone, and waited patiently for us to bring our walls down on our own. You never held it against us. You never judged us, and you never left us. You stayed right there with your beautiful smile, your bubbly personality, and your huge heart, loving us not matter what. Each one of us fell in love with you because of that." Mamoru said with a soft smile.
"No one should ever be alone, and I couldn't let any of you continue to be. You are all so wonderful, and deserve so much more than what you had. I had to make sure you all saw that, and reached for it." Usagi responded, with tears in her eyes.
"I know you did. And I'm thankful everyday for your determination, stubbornness, and love." Mamoru said, and kissed Usagi on the forehead.
"We all are Usagi." Luna said with a cat smile.
"I hate to break this up, but I do need to get Usako home before Kenji sends out a search party." Mamoru said with a chuckle.
"Ok. Luna, you're coming home tonight, right?" Usagi asked.
"Yes. I'll be there soon." Luna answered.
"Ok. Bye Artemis." Usagi called as they left.
Mamoru and Usagi got in his car to drive her home, he reached over, and took her hand.
"Are you ok, Usako?" Mamoru asked.
"Yeah. Actually I am. I'm glad Luna told me her story. It's very sad, and a lot to process, but I'm still glad I know. Now I know how I can help her get thru it all. Thank you Mamo for making sure we could talk. I think she and I both needed it." Usagi answered, squeezing his hand.
"Yeah. I think you did."
They were quiet for the rest of the drive to her home. Once at her door, Mamoru pulled Usagi against him, and kissed her deeply, passionately. When he pulled away, he smiled at her dreamy look, and her gasping for breath. He loved that he could do that to her. When he finally let her go, she wobbled slightly, and he chuckled.
"You ok?" He asked.
"Yeah." She answered breathlessly.
"Good. I love you Usako."
"I love you too. Oh. Can you pick us up at 11:00 tomorrow, please? The Art Center director said I would need about an hour to fill out the paperwork."
"I'll be here. Good night Usako."
"Good night Mamo."
After she went in the house, he went home. He found Luna still sitting on his couch, when he got home.
"She's waiting you know?" He asked.
"I know. I just…well…I wanted to say thank you. For everything. For giving me a place to stay this week, for feeding me. And well, for making me see what I was doing. For putting me in a position to really, truly look at myself. For making me face myself. I really appreciate it. You're a good man Mamoru, and she's lucky to have you." Luna responded.
"No. I'm lucky to have her. We all are."
"You're right. She is a wonderful person, and she's going to make an amazing queen some day. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy every moment of who she is now, and try my best to never hurt her again."
"Yes she is, and she will. That's all I can ask, and you know all she will ever ask is that you try your best."
"True. Well thank you again Mamoru, for everything. Good luck tomorrow. I hope all goes well."
"You're welcome. Me too."
Luna left, and Mamoru went to bed thinking about the day, and wondering what tomorrow would hold.