"Yo," Levi greeted me the moment I left the front entrance. He appeared from the shadows like a monster, silent and eerie.

"What do you mean, 'yo'? Get out of here, I told you not to wait."

"C'mon, let's go."

"You've sobered up a bit then?"

"The fresh air does that to you," he replied as we fell into step beside each other. I noticed a slight shiver in his arms.

"You could have waited indoors, where it's warm."

"I like the night," he said, simply, turning his face to the full moon. "It's clear tonight."
"You're such a romantic," I joked. He gave me a look. I offered him my hand, feeling a little bit pissed off with the suspicious glance he tossed my way. "Oh, for god's sake, hold my hand." I commanded and didn't give him chance to refuse, thrusting my palm into his. His hands were cold, his fingers long and now entwined with mine.

The silence between us was comforting. It was so satisfying to walk the empty streets, our breaths curling in the cool air, no sound but the hum of distant traffic. The only sound around us was the buzz of the streetlights casting long shadows into the road. On the concrete, the elongated figures of us brushed shoulders.

"Stop swinging," he complained, holding our arms rigid so that I couldn't keep swooping them back and forwards.

"You're such a stuck-up guy."

"You're childish."

"You're boring."

"You're a messed up, emotional, reckless and completely irrational brat."

"Okay, uncalled for."

He shrugged. "You started it."

"It's a wonder you have friends. Though, they seem great. Hanji is a little, err …"

"Bonkers."

"Yeah. And I can't really read Erwin that well. They both seem really intelligent. And interesting."

"They're both the best in their respective fields. Hanji gets bombarded with letters of appreciation all the time. Her work always ends up in the top journals."

"That's incredible. She's so young as well."

"And Erwin is the same. He gets a lot of requests to do lectures because he's a great public speaker. There's something about his presence that commands your attention."

"It's in the eyebrows."

"Could be," Levi smirked. "I've been meaning to ask … what is it you want to do?"
"To do?" I jumped, suddenly nervous.

"Yeah, career-wise."

"I …" I desperately wanted to get out of this conversation. In the back of my mind, I knew he wasn't going to let me slip out of this. Explaining the situation was going to be tough. "Wanted to be a physiotherapist."

"Wanted?"

"When I was in school, I was pretty good at sports but sort of like the Jack of All Trades, Master of None. I was on a lot of teams but never stuck to anything."

"And?"

"Well, I enjoy the sports industry and I realised that I want to work with athletes. Plus, I've always been good at biology. So I took a few online courses in physiotherapy, started studying."

"Why didn't you go to university?"

"I couldn't afford it."

"Get a loan."

"I couldn't afford to. Even if the course were covered, I'd need to pay for accommodation or transport, as well as food costs, energy bills etc. We're struggling as it is. My pay packets often contribute to the household. Then there's the fact that I've got to look after Ema because my mum works shifts."

"Sounds like a whole load of excuses," Levi said, simply. I jolted, stunned. "If it's something you want to do, do it."

"But-!"

"There's a solution to all your problems. I'm not saying it will be easy but doing what you're doing now is hardly productive. You're putting your life on hold."

"What do you know?!" I burst, pulling my hand away from his. He regarded me, one eyebrow slightly cocked. "Don't start lecturing me about my life! It's hard enough to get by! I don't need you on my back as well!"

"What were you planning to do, then? Keep working yourself to death for shit money and no satisfaction?" My words caught in my mouth. I was horrified. I'd spent years battling my way through each week, losing and gaining jobs like catching water in my hands, trying to handle my own life at the same time as Ema's and my mother's. And here he was lecturing me. I wasn't doing any of this on purpose. I wasn't enjoying this.

"I can't get a job!"

"Why not?"

"I have to look after Ema!"

"What sort of excuse is that? Drop her off early if you have to, there's always a fucking breakfast club or something. And she's old enough to catch the bus with her friends – why are you taking her to the library tomorrow? What's the need? So what your mum works shifts?"

I stopped walking and Levi mimicked a few paces onwards, turning back to face me. I felt hot, my face was flushed, and my eyes stung. I didn't need this from him. Why was he doing this?

"From now on, Lena," he said, still unapologetic in his expression and his choice of words. I guess he'd never been one to sugar-coat. "Live for yourself."

"You make it sound so easy," my voice cracked as I avoided his eyes.

"It isn't. I know it isn't. I've been the same." He stepped forward and took my chin in his grasp, forcing me to look at him. "Every day, we make choices. No one will be able to tell you if you're right or wrong, until we meet the consequences and have to live with them. Years ago, I walked past the Careers Office – I didn't sign up to the army. And I've lived with that consequence. Unlike me, it's not too late for you."

"But I-!"

"And there's something you've got now that you didn't have before, something that will help you." I was about to ask, 'what' when he kissed me softly and I realised. The kiss was short, sweet, and immensely frustrating.

"Kiss me harder, you irritating freak."

…

I was giggling outside Levi's front door, feeling like I'd absorbed all his alcohol into my own blood from the dizzy happiness making me lightheaded. On the other hand, Levi was calm and completely sober, booting me into the apartment as soon as he had unlocked the front door. I slipped out of my coat, dropping it to the floor and winking at him.

"Pick that thing up," he scorned. "Stop making a mess when you've been here for thirty seconds." I laughed, doing as I was told and skipping into the kitchen. "Oi! Shoes!" He yelled after me. I kicked them off mid-run and dived onto the sofa, breathing heavily with a sigh of content. As expected, the easily annoyed Levi followed, scowling. "Stop it." He said.

"Stop what?"

"You know what."

"Come tell me." I beamed from ear to ear, the smile nearly splitting my face. He sighed, leaning over the back of the sofa to kiss me again. I stroked the back of his head, gently. He reached down to pinch my arm until I squirmed.

"You're so annoying," he breathed.

"I try my best." I was leaning in for another kiss when Levi's eyes flashed up. He looked alarmed. I shot up, too, suddenly alert. He began to scan the room. "What? What's going on?"

"Does something feel … different to you?"

"Different? How so?"

He moved over to the bedroom and glanced inside. I felt nervous, hoping he was just acting this way to get me back. It didn't seem like it. Then, his eyes flicked by the TV and I saw the shattered glass frame on the carpet. Levi quickly went to pick up the pieces, his eyes wide.

"Petra?" He glanced up, searching the apartment. My heart dropped into my stomach. He did a quick sweep of the apartment while I nervously picked at my nails. Eventually, he returned to the shattered glass, his expression forlorn. "She was here. She isn't now."

"… Why?" I was scared to find out.

"Her things are gone from the wardrobe. I guess she came by to pick some things up."

He held a piece of the photo frame in cupped hands, staring at it dejectedly. Eventually, he squatted down to start collecting the shattered glass into his palm.

"Here, use these." I tossed him a pair of gloves I'd grabbed from one of the kitchen drawers, along with a dustpan. He glanced up, pausing to meet my eyes. I didn't know what expression to show him, so I looked away.

It was late, so I changed into pyjamas as he finished clearing up. I didn't want to watch him rifle through that box of memories any longer, not when he looked so desolate. I clambered into bed, pulling the covers over my face. I heard his footsteps at the door.

"Lena," he called, gently.

"Yeah?"

"Things haven't gone …" he paused, and I decided to poke my eyes above the sheet. "how I wanted them to." I wasn't sure what to say. He was trying to explain himself, something I didn't feel he needed to do. He hadn't done any wrong. We'd both dived into this too soon, and the repercussions were starting to hit us. Maybe we should have acted differently. I shouldn't have got involved with him so soon – it was shameless, really. He was still grieving his ex, and all I was worried about was turning out to be a re-bound. When I didn't respond, he continued. "We met at the wrong time. We're both going through some shit."

"You more than me," I attempted a joke. His empty stare suggested it was possibly poorly timed.

"Everything will sort itself out, though. We need time, that's all. Just … wait for me, Lena." He flicked the lights off and closed the door, softly.

He slept on the sofa, and in the Queen -sized bed in Levi's apartment, I'd never felt so alone.

…

LEVI –

My head was surprisingly clear when I woke, checking the time to see it was 9am. Although, I had an awful pain in my neck from a bad night's sleep on a sofa that definitely wasn't designed for sleeping on. From the silence in the apartment, it didn't seem like Lena was awake yet. My phone lay beside me, and I wondered once more if I should ring her.

She doesn't want to talk to you.

You made her want to kill herself, you should stay out of her life.

You wasted years of her life.

I rolled myself onto my feet and kneaded my temples, wearily. I headed over to the windows and drew back the curtains, opening each window a crack to let some fresh air into the apartment. For some reason, the air felt stale. As I began to shuffle around, sweeping the kitchen floor and flicking on the hob to prepare breakfast, there was a distant vibrating noise, followed by a thud. Quickly after that, there was a faint moan. Seemed like Lena was awake.

She appeared, hair messily drawn off her face in a high ponytail wearing sports leggings and a baggy jumper, hiding her hands in the long sleeves.

"Feed me," she said, flopping onto the sofa. Her hand scuttled along the coffee table for the remote.

"Not a chance."

"Whyyy~"

"I'm not cooking anything for you until you make the bed."

"Well, buttercup, I have."

"Do you want me to check?" I raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"No."

I added her share of eggs to the frying pan, as the brat probably knew I would. I thought about dousing them with salt, but as with every aspect of my life now, if I annoyed Lena she'd find a better way to get me back. I was slowly giving in to her demands instead.

She only roused from the sofa pour herself a glass of water.

"Who's the one that was drinking last night?" I asked.

"Think I've got a cold coming on."

"Stay away from me then, I don't want your bacteria."

"Virus," she corrected. I whipped the towel in my grip across the back of her legs. She spun around to glower at me.

"What time do you want to leave?"

"As soon as we're done here."

"Then get that down your sarky throat and let's go." I handed her the plate.

The car ride was unusually awkward, and every time I glanced over, I noticed the sheen of sweat on her forehead and her tired expression. She certainly looked ill. I clicked my tongue.

"Don't click your tongue at me, I wouldn't be spreading this to you if you hadn't forced me into your home last night."

"Little brat."

I pulled up outside the apartment and suddenly realised this would be the first time I would meet her family properly. I'd met with her mother once, the time I'd drunkenly appeared on their doorstep and demanded to see her daughter. Her sister, Ema, I'd met a couple of other times. I'd driven her to school more than once. It was odd, being the guy that was walking to meet his partner's parents. Even though I was planning to wait outside the door.

We arrived and Lena said she'd be quick, unlocking the door and nipping inside. A moment later, the door re-opened and I snapped my eyes away from my phone. A small lady with Lena's playful brown eyes peered around the door. She beamed when she spotted me.

"Come in!" She called.

"Mother!"

I followed behind, reluctantly. I should have stayed in the car. It just felt a little shady hanging around someone else's apartment waiting for a small child to appear and get into your car. Even if she was accompanied by her elder sister.

"Tea?" Lena's mother offered.

"No, thanks."

"We haven't got time," Lena huffed. "Ema, hurry up."

"I'm talking to my friends! One minute!"
"You don't have friends!" Lena called back, tapping her foot in irritation.

I took a moment to absorb the apartment – it was cheap and old, cracks in the ceiling and damp patches on some walls. If I had to live here, I'd probably be driven mad. There was so much that needed cleaning. That said, all the surfaces were clean and looked after. The carpet was the kind of pattern Petra's grandmother had on her curtains, and the room was unusually bare. This was what she meant by having no money. This was how she lived, probably in that percentage of people just above the poverty line. They had a place to live, they could put food on the table, they had no trouble paying for the necessities but anything over that was a challenge, and they lived by constantly juggling priorities.

"My love, won't you sit down." Her mother offered and although her dainty figure and kind tone was inviting, her gaze was firm. I was supposed to sit down. I really didn't want to. Sitting meant staying.

"Like I said, mum, we're going soon."

"What's your name? Levi, isn't it?" Her mother ignored her and lowered herself into the lone chair by the coffee table. She gestured to the sofa.

"Yeah, Levi."

"Help yourself to a cold drink if you want."

"I'm good."

"EMA!" Lena thundered out of the room. "Do you want to go to this damn library or what?"

"Lena, watch your tone." Her mother called, being careful to keep her own voice polite and reserved.

Lena huffed back into the room, steam practically venting from her skull. She clattered over to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water in her hand.

"How long until we get the baby photos out?" Lena's mother smiled, taking a sip from the mug in her palms.

"Absolutely never," Lena replied, moving to stand by me. I gave her a quick look and she nodded. She knew I wanted to go. Playing happy families was not my bag. Her mother would never like me and that was that – I was not son-in-law material.

Ema appeared from her bedroom, a scowl heavy on her forehead and her backpack hanging over one shoulder.

"Right, let's go." Lena called, turning to leave.

"When Luca comes back, I won't have to go with you." Ema pouted. Her mother shot her a look and although Lena may have missed it, I saw. The look was panicked, unusual for a woman that appeared so outwardly calm.

"Luca?" Lena paused, turning slowly.

Ema glanced guiltily at her mother. I immediately sensed I was about to be in the middle of a family argument. Her mother shook her head at Ema, an expression that instructed her to be quiet. But it was too late, Lena was already walking back into the room.

"What do you mean?"

"We'll talk about this later, Lena dear."

"Luca's coming back."

"He's going back to school," Ema mumbled, twisting the strap on her backpack.

"Ema, stop being spiteful." She placed her mug on the coffee table and looked Lena in the eyes. "Honestly, dear, let's discuss it when you get back." Luca, I thought. Where do I recognise that name from? My eyes flicked to a family portrait on the wall, an A4 holiday snap in a wooden frame, surrounded by other smaller photos blue-tacked onto the wallpaper. I instantly recognised the young man in the photos. The one of him in his graduation gown, in particular. It was the man from our business trip, the one who'd led the lectures. Luca.

"What do you mean, he's going back to school?" Lena's tone was dangerous. I sensed trouble, and no doubt her mother had seen this coming. I was itching to leave now, but my eyes were drawn to that photo.

"He's going back to University so he'll be staying here awhile. All using his own money, Lena, before you go off the rails."

"Before I-!" She yelled, indignantly, her face flaring red. "He's going to do a masters, are you FUCKING kidding me?"

"Language!" Her mother scorned, already her calm façade cracking. "I'm sorry about this, honey," she spoke to me, then rightfully returned her attention to Lena who appeared about to explode.

"When do I get something back from this FUCKING catastrophe of a family?"

"I won't tell you again, Lena, watch your mouth."

"I'm twenty! I'm not a child!"

"Your sister is right here."

"And will she be going to University? I bet she fucking will."

"Don't be facetious."

"How much more are you going to fuck up my life?!"

"He's paying with his own money."

"Money he's earning from a job he got by having a degree, a degree that dad paid for." Lena's chest was heaving. Luca, I thought again. I know that name. I know that face. "It's a self-perpetuating cycle!"

"Be reasonable, darling, you know w-,"

"I don't want to hear it!" She screamed. Slowly, with each exchange of words, she was tipping further over the edge. Meanwhile, Luca's portrait morphed. His face aged, his hair became tousled, his eyes hardened. My hands gripped his throat, tight. "If he's moving in, I'm moving out. I can't believe you'd do this to -… Levi?"

I gagged into the back of my hand. A shiver racked my body. No, I had to control this. Not now. Not now. "What's wrong?" I bit hard on my index finger, legs unsteady. Come on, stay in control. Lena's hand rested on my forehead and I suddenly realised how cold my skin was. I was sweating hard. I had to keep these images at bay. I had to.

"It's your decision, Levi. But when you start sleep-talking, or fainting, or whatever else … try to think how she's going to react."

"Haven't you already started saying weird things to her?"

"If you're scared of losing her, not being honest is probably the worst thing you could."

"Levi, are you ill?" I knew Lena was standing in front of me, but I couldn't see past the images flashing in my head.

"Call … Hanji." I said, voice wavering. "Call her."

AN: No Kurt this chapter, I miss him

Stay safe everyone