22
Winter is upon us, the snow so deep we can hardly get to the barn and back. The men are doing a good job of keeping it shovelled but some days we have to call uncle and admit we are snowed in. It shows no sign of leaving though ... we should be through the worst of it but… it keeps coming.
Douglas still doesn't know about my 'passenger' and each time I try to tell him I find us … (word smudged out and replaced with) shagging … instead. My libido is all over the place, who knew pregnancy could do that? It's like… I look at him and boom… I want him. Last night I finally told him only to hear a snore in reply. God … it's getting obvious with my belly looking like I had a three course meal or something. I work out like hell but can't hide it anymore.
Someone is gonna twig sooner or later.
I will tell him today.
It will be five months since we got here so … I really have to get on it.
.
.
.
.
Kathy found her husband in the barn, working on the snow blower that had not worked since they got here. She settled on the bales of straw, posed her best side and cleared her throat "Douglas. I need to talk to you."
He looked up, a smear of grease across one cheek and grunted, sitting back in his heels to wipe his hands with a cloth as he asked "Is this about that bloody scrap hole again? The ground is fucking frozen and the snow too deep. A compost is not my…"
"No" she cut him off, not wanting this to dissolve into an argument as he was clearly frustrated. This was not a good time, she had picked unwisely. "I just… I just want to say… I miss you sometimes. I am glad you are here and … later when we are both in the right mood… we really need to talk about the future."
"Yeah" he rose and pointed to the back of the barn "Like the gym they are building. You used to go to the gym every morning before work, sometimes before coming home too. You lived for the adrenaline. You need to go help them and let me get on with this. I need this working and you need to get that body back into shape."
"Excuse me?" she gaped.
"I didn't want to say but … babe. You are so out of shape. Could you even outrun a Biter these days? God, we've not been here five months until Friday and look at you. Gone full slob" he laughed without looking up to see her horror plainly etched across her face "And as for that hair. God. Ever since I've known you that hair was always perfectly braided now it looks like you've been living rough in central park. God… someone from a distance might see you bringing up the rear and shoot you thinking you are one of those Biters about to attack us and shoot you… it's terrible Can't someone help you with that?"
She felt the blood draining from her face as a roaring started deep in her eardrums and she straightened up, rising to look down at him "Well … that's lovely. So I am fat, my hair is a mess and …what. I am so unattractive you shag me every time we are alone so you don't have to look at me? Or are they pity fucks for the fat bitch?"
He looked up at her with shock "Wha… what?"
She placed her hands on her hips and said in a low tone "Well now… maybe I will take Elvira's room and you can have the bed all to yourself, don't have to fuck me to get me to shut up and go to sleep right?"
"Kat" he rose to face her, his hands out at his sides in surrender "I didn't mean… hey. I am in a foul mood, you know my mouth runs… I didn't mean it. Of course I find you attractive… KAT!"
Kathy strode from the barn with the sound of blood blood cascading in her ears, her vision blurred by tears and a total meltdown in progress. She had never felt so out of control. She wanted to shoot something. Preferably him. Fat. God, so he has noticed her belly but didn't even consider the fact there has been shagging every night and no periods? Christ, she married a dickhead.
She sat at her dresser and stared at the face of an ugly fat cow. She picked up a cloth and wiped the lipstick off he hadn't noticed either. An attempt to make this something special fucked-up again. She stared at herself for a long time. This hair she had done like this most of her life. Ever since her first summer job as a teenager, the first attempt getting it straightened only to see she looked weird. The hairdresser suggesting plaits. Look at them, tiny ropes of power. That's how she always saw them. Now the remains looked sad. Like the rest of her. Medusa's snakes no more.
Kathy picked up the scissors and took a deep breath, starting to hack them off at shoulder length, letting them fly back and start to unravel.
He wanted a slothenly fat cow… he could have this one then.