Note: 100% Jacob + Joanna content here! If you are not in to sexy times, you should probably skip...pretty much all of this chapter.
"You don't know about my past and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is goin' too fast,
And maybe it's not meant to last.
But what do you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below,
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay.
What do you say? What do you say?
I just wanna start again.
And maybe you could show me how to try?
Maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin."
September 12th, 2006
"You were going to play nurse?" Jacob asked with mock innocence, sounding braver than he felt. She was his world, and doing the wrong thing had him absolutely terrified.
Joanna nodded her head, "Yup. You're hurt. I'm going to hell…help." She just barely managed to clean and close the wounds with butterfly bandages that hadn't already closed without being distracted by how otherwise perfect his body was. She'd seen a lot of bodies, but there was usually a reason that her services, rather than those of a willing woman, were needed. He was unnaturally perfect, and when his still fractured forearm had been wrapped with gauze, there was nothing to hide the electricity that seemed to be filling the air between them.
"My sister is crazy." Joanna told him, pushing the first aid kit unceremoniously off the bed. "How did she not love you? You're beautiful and sweet and warm."
"Maybe she knew we were both waiting on you." Jacob told her, and the truth of his statement struck the both of them.
Joanna nodded again, "Yeah. Bella's good like that."
Jacob sighed, "I should go home."
"No!" Joanna said, a bit too loudly, and then grimaced, "I want you to stay. You could need me. My help. Fuck." She looked down at the purple comforter, "I don't want to be apart from you right now. It's stupid. I am bad for you, but...I'm selfish."
"I don't think that." Jacob told her, reaching across the space between them to kiss her.
They both got lost in the kiss, Joanna easing herself closer to straddle his lap, careful and intimately aware of the lingering gashes and bite wounds. His new erection pressed against her, and they both shivered. Joanna pulled out of the kiss, but kept her forehead against his, "I want you too. But I don't think we're ready. I don't want to freak out and ruin it. You deserve better than that. We should talk first, really talk."
"Whatever you want." Jacob promised, "As long as you're safe and happy."
"So you've said." Joanna quipped, a teasing smile on her face as she pushed him gently onto his back, "I don't really want talk right now."
"I—" He began, finding it hard to breathe as she settled across his good leg, "—I've never done this before."
Joanna blinked at him, noting how his inhumanly toned chest heaved with effort. "What?"
Jacob closed his eyes, his voice a little softer. "I've never done this."
"Like…had someone take care of you?" Joanna asked, pulling back, confused. She stroked a hand up and down his uninjured arm though, knowing he wouldn't do well if she cut contact.
He found himself staring up at the ceiling again as embarrassment flooded through him. He gave a slow shake of his head, taking a deep breath. "No. No, that isn't what I mean."
There was a second, or maybe a dozen, that passed—ones where Jacob increasingly wanted to just sink into the mattress and disappear—before she finally spoke again. "So, you've never…anything?"
A heavy inhale through his nostrils before he breathed out: "No."
"Oh," she answered softly. "Wow. Okay." She had been so focused on her fury, on worry about Bella, on her panic of seeing him injured, she had not even considered that the sweet man next to her was a virgin in absolutely every way. They really were worlds apart. But still, she wanted him, wanted to prove to herself that she could make him feel good without feeling like a whore. "Do you want to?"
He turned his face to look at her incredulously. "Do I…?"
"Want to," she repeated, edging closer to him again.
"I…" He stuttered. "You mean—"
Joanna moved slowly, easing her body back between his spread thighs. The hard length of his cock was just in front of her, tenting the towel. "I could help you with that," Joanna whispered, feeling somehow in her element again, which should have terrified her, yet she was absolutely alive with the possibility that she was offering because she wanted to, really wanted to, not that she had to.
His mouth closed just to open again. "You could… help me?"
"Well, yeah," she laughed, a bit of unease seeping in. He deserved his first time to be with someone who loved him, and she wasn't there yet, didn't know if she could be, "I mean, only if you want me to. Not all the way, but…"
Jacob would have jolted off the bed if he hadn't been injured, "You mean… When you say you want to… You mean that you…"
"Want to touch your penis." There. She'd said it. What she wanted to do for a change.
Jacob almost swallowed his tongue whole.
He was trying to formulate a coherent response, trying to remember what words were in general—and so it took him a few seconds longer than it should to register Joanna. Her expression twisted in thought, her teeth working at her lower lip. "Maybe I could… touch you a little first? Not there? Would that be okay?" He was just so beautiful, kind, sweet, and he'd been hurt protecting her family. Joanna wanted to make him happy, needed him to feel good.
"Touch me?" He stared up at her with his mouth parted, feeling a trace of that same wariness, but lessened now, nearly overridden by the steady thump of his heart.
She nodded, blue eyes fixed on him, "Then maybe I can touch your dick. Would that be okay?"
"Would that be"—he was still staring at her—"okay?"
"Mhm." She hummed, still biting her lower lip.
He wanted to kiss her, but he hurt too much to reach her from his current position. One pesky rib still hadn't healed. "Yes." He said finally, the one word sounding more desperate than he cared to admit.
Joanna ran her hands over each one of his bandaged wounds, seemingly checking up on the healing like she had before, and, at first, he was confused. Until she started pressing soft kisses to each one, her lips careful to stay away from the raw spots, but close enough that the kisses on sensitive new nerves had him close to coming into the towel wrapped around his waist. She spent what felt like hours attending to every healing bite and slash and quickly fading bruise, muttering about how she couldn't bear to see him hurt, cursing Sam with a slew of words Jacob could never repeat. He had gotten so caught up in being coddled like this that he'd almost forgotten what she had planned, at least until she placed a kiss on one of his nipples, "Don't think he got me there."
Joanna grinned at him, a wicked glint to her blue eyes, "I have to check, right? Can't have any of the equipment not working."
His retort was completely forgotten when she bent back down and sucked his nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the hardened peak. When she abandoned it in favor of the other one, Jacob's hips unwittingly arched off the bed.
Joanna gave his nipple one last teasing graze of her teeth before smiling down at him, her cheeks flushed a delicious pink, "I've got you, Jacob. Don't worry." She kissed him chastely.
And then started unwrapping him like a present on Christmas morning. His cock came into view as she pulled the last of the towel off, and it sprang free, jutting up between them. Her hand stilled from where she'd been reaching for him, her fingers curling towards her palm as she bit her lip again. Her voice was impossibly soft when she asked, "Can I touch you, Jacob?"
He didn't know if he audibly answered, but he nodded up at her almost as if in a trance, eyes fixed on her hand that was so so close. Her eyes never seemed to leave his dick, but she somehow knew what he'd been trying to communicate and moved again at last.
"Lovely" she sighed airily, her fingers gently touching the head. She massaged the skin there lightly, teasing him more than anything, but in a way he could no longer breath. The handoff his penis wasn't his own, and every sensation was heightened, "God, Jacob. You're fucking huge."
He couldn't describe what it did to him to hear this beautiful creature, his imprint, praise him as she did, and his entire body shivered, whether from her touch or that bit of awe in her voice, he couldn't be sure. "Jo," he choked out. "That's— shit." Pride and anger waged war inside of him. She thought he was lovely, huge even, and that was enough to have any man preening, but it also reminded him that she'd been through so much, had so much done to her. He wanted to kill everyone who had ever dared touch her.
Joanna fisted him a little tighter, obviously wanting his complete attention on the present, and she drew her hand down. He hissed out a breath through his teeth, completely back with her. "It's okay," she cooed breathily, giving a lazy stroke down his shaft and back up again. "Just relax. I am going to take care of you." She kissed his thigh again, lingering to look him in the eyes as she straightened up, her grip on his cock still firm, "I'm doing this because I want to. With you."
He wasn't sure how he didn't lose it right then. The bravery and soft comfort of her voice, her thin fingers wrapped around him like they were, the way she touched him, everything was so much more than he could ever have imagined. His hands hovered shakily near her thighs, unsure what to do with them, and Joanna's free hand slid over the back of one of his to guide him, showing him what was okay. His palms came to rest against warm thighs that were soft, so soft—his fingers curling slightly to grip her skin as she stroked him a little faster.
"Is this okay?" Her thumb rubbed a little. "It doesn't hurt, does it? I know you're sensitive."
Jacob thought that he may have laughed, but it didn't sound quite right. It sounded like Sam had tried to take a chunk out of his throat. Which he hadn't. She hesitated, and Jacob rushed to answer with actual words, "It doesn't hurt. It definitely doesn't hurt."
One side of her mouth turned up in a little smile, and she stroked him with a little more purpose, making his entire body shudder. She got closer to his face, close enough that he could feel the warmth of her breath, smell the evidence of her own arousal. His cock was pressed between them a little, even as her fist continued to work him steadily, but her mouth is so close now.
She braced her body against him with one palm flat against his chest, the other still moving between them as it brought his cock closer and closer to the inevitable end. He made a sound that would probably embarrass him later, but he pressed up, giving all the urging she needed. Joanna responded instantly, her mouth soft and warm and slightly wet against his, a satisfied sigh escaping when she pulled up to breathe. Jacob's lashes fluttered closed when she returned to their kiss, and his hands moved of their own accord, sliding up over her hips to hold her steady at the waist, and her hand just kept moving.
He could feel it, that hot pressure licking low in his abdomen as it built and built. Her fist worked him a little disjointedly now with the angle of their bodies more pressed together, but it didn't seem to matter, his cock couldn't differentiate anything beyond the heat of her hand and the slight wet that it spread as she smeared the stickiness of his precum to make a mess between them. There were sounds growing in his chest that were some unearthly mix of man and wolf, even though the latter was quite happily tucked away in the back of his mind. Jacob pulled her closer, holding her to his front as her wet palm worked him as thoroughly as she could with the weight of her body pressed on top of his.
She only stopped kissing him when his mouth went slack and his breaths came laboriously, huffing against her cheek. Her lips wandered to kiss at his jaw, tracing a path below it as her tongue slid just over his pulse point. Every muscle in his body felt as if it was drawn too tight, his balls felt heavy and his cock felt nearly fit to bursting—most likely because it is.
"Jo," he huffed. "Joanna. I'm gonna—"
"Come on, Jacob," she whispered sweetly, kissing just below his ear. "You can come."
And maybe he was waiting for permission, maybe it wouldn't have mattered either way—because his mouth fell open, and his eyes shut tight, and he felt every time he jerked against her palm. His cock twitched heavily as wet warmth leaked through her fingers, wrapped tight around the head now, seeped out to make a mess of his muscled stomach that heaved beneath it. He could feel it pooling into his navel, feel her fist sliding against the line of hair that trailed beneath it, and he shuddered through his orgasm as his teeth ground together and stars bloomed behind his eyelids. Joanna kept her lips on his the whole time, smothering the sounds he made, relishing in each one of them in a way she never had before.
He felt dizzy and breathless after, almost as if he was floating—the warm weight of her lithe body above his the only thing that brought him back down to Earth. Her lips still moved sweetly against his skin, tracing a path to his lips to brush there, and he inhaled unsteadily as she applied a warm pressure. Her kiss felt almost too soft with the way his cum was cooling between them. Her fingers trailed through the mess he'd made, her lips curling against his as a breathy little laugh escaped her. "You feel better?" He couldn't answer her, grinning dazedly, and she kissed him again, "Stay here. I need to clean you up again."
Joanna wasn't gone for more than thirty seconds, armed with a warm wet wash cloth and a clean dry towel. She cleaned him up for the second time in the same morning. He was still stunned with how gentle she was, and didn't take his eyes off of her the entire time, taking in her flushed cheeks and the satisfaction that rose on her face when she found a wound that didn't need a bandage anymore. "You are amazing." He said when she'd sat the cloth down.
Joanna wanted to protest, but he was just so beautiful and sweet. She had expected to feel guilty after, guilty for taking even a sliver of his innocence, but she didn't. Nothing had happened like she'd expected. He had come apart for her. A damned werewolf had let her hold him in the palm of her hand and he had relinquished complete control. Not one ounce of fear had touched her. Actually, for the first time ever, her body had reacted to true attraction, and she reveled in the tight feeling of pent up desire at her core as she settled onto the bed at his side. She wanted to try everything with him, absolutely everything, even quiet mornings sipping coffee before work.
He kissed her, moving to rest on a forearm that was no longer broken, and she had to laugh when they parted, "You're a quick study."
He gave her another one of those irresistible boyish grins, "I try. You are perfect."
Joanna gave him a sad smile, knowing that she was far from perfect. Her body was damaged, and he hadn't seen the scars she covered. He needed to know everything. "I need to tell you about me, Jacob. If we are going to take this chance, you need to know…me."
They stayed in bed into the afternoon hours, Jacob listening as Joanna wove a tale of horrors he'd only seen on TV. He listened well, making a list of all the people he needed to kill or permanently maim, but he only let his rage surface once, right at the end. Joanna had looked panicked for a moment, but he'd noticed instantly and calmed himself. She had smiled at him then, and pulled him back down to her side. "I'm sorry."
"I'm okay. Are you okay?" Jacob asked her tentatively.
Joanna nodded, one hand on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heart under her fingers, "I am. I feel better. I've told you things no one else knows." She kissed his chest, remembering the few things she hadn't been brave enough to divulge. They would get there. "Maybe next time you share? I want to know everything about you."
He was absolutely beaming, "Definitely."
Joanna forced herself to get out of bed, "I need to check on Renesmee and Bella. Come with?"
Jacob nodded, wrapping yet another dry towel around his waist, "I have clothes stashed near the house I'll grab." He stopped suddenly in the kitchen, "Bella's birthday is tomorrow."
"Yes…" Joanna drawled, grabbing a jacket from the coat rack.
"Your birthday is tomorrow." He whispered.
Joanna laughed at him, "That's how twins work. Should be the first day of her new life."
Jacob kissed her, "We'll have a lot to celebrate. Come on, I'll drive."
Chapter lyrics from 'Taking Chances' by Celine Dion. Seriously, give the whole song a listen if you aren't familiar, it echos almost everything going on in Joanna's mind.
I hope you enjoyed! Questions, comments, concerns? I would love to know what you think!
-Jenn