The Flower Moon

Year Eight, Chapter Twenty-two

Missing Imprint

Jacob's Point of View

I hoped this was just going to be temporary. Nessie and I had tried to resign ourselves to the reality that Dave needed to move away, but it was still hard. How long did he really plan to stay in La Push? Away from his family? Could he really leave his sister? They were so close. He wouldn't really abandon her like this, would he? I imagined he'd stay there for a while, a few months at most, then get home sick, miss his family, and come back to New Hampshire. Not that Billy wasn't his family. He would always be Dave's Grandfather, but as much as we loved him, and understood his need to do this, we were still his parents, and wanted our son home with us, at least for a little while longer.

I planned to stay in La Push for a little while, a week maybe, just to make sure Dave got settled in. I didn't like being away from Nessie for so long, but she was staying home with Felicity, who refused to come. One of us had to.

Felicity was beyond upset that her brother was leaving. She flat out refused to talk to David and wouldn't even acknowledge her brother last week, while he packed up his room.

When everything was boxed up we'd shipped it all to Billy's house. Paul and Rachel had already moved most of their stuff out, and assured us that they would have almost all of the rest in their new place, save a few items – a couple changes of clothes, the beds, and some of the kids toys, by the time David arrived, not wanting to leave my Father completely alone until then.

Billy's health has been declining more and more over the last few years. It was a combination of his age and the diabetes. He needed someone with him most of the time now. He wasn't bedridden yet, but he needed help with the little things he use to be able to do on his own - tie his shoes, do the laundry, make dinner… things like that. Last year he had to have surgery to remove two of his toes, and a couple of months ago Paul and Rachel had mentioned that he was losing the use of his left hand. He was a righty and could still handle the TV remote so his spirits were up; at least that was what Paul assured me.

If Dave didn't end up staying, and moved back home, I would have to find someone to care for Billy. As least I was in a position to be able to afford that. I'd asked Paul and Rachel if they wanted me to hire a part time nurse to help out but they had refused. I think I might just go ahead and hire someone anyway; at least to stop in every now and then, while Dave's in school.

Sue and Charlie, Sam and Emily, and the whole Pack and their Imprints already stop by, all the time, to check on him. Rachel told me that they tried to make it look like they were just visiting, not wanting to make Billy feel bad, or dependent, or anything, but it was nice to know that he was being looked after.

I felt horrible. I had left, neglected my own father, forced my son from his home, my daughter was crying all the time, and then everything going on with Nessie… She wanted to come to Washington with us, to get as much time with our son as she could but as much as it killed me I talked her out of it.

Nessie really shouldn't be around un-phased teens if it could be avoided. We weren't sure exactly how much exposure to her would set off the change.

At least this way she would be home to meet with Mrs. Ripley, the new intermediary I'd finally found to replace Jack Fisher. She hadn't worked in almost a decade, but used to be a real estate agent, before having kids and should have a problem doing the job. Her time wasn't as open as Jack's had been, but she knew exactly what we needed, knew how to talk to Seth, and was perfectly discrete. We just needed to schedule our meetings around her schedule. Well, technically her kids schedule. Most meetings had to be held between when she dropped them of at school, and shuttled them to their after school activities.

I had set up a meeting with her, over a week ago. It was for the day after tomorrow, at 12:30. Since her kids were home for the winter break, it was the only time she had available for the next few days, and someone needed to stay and meet her. We couldn't reschedule. There were a lot of things we needed to go over with her, most importantly letting Seth know about the next round of inspections on the house he was redoing for us.

During the eight hour flight back to Washington, I should have probably used the time to talk to Dave about what he was going to do once he was out there. He thought he had it all figured out, but had he really? How was he going to get to school? What was he going to do for a job? How was he going to earn enough money to live on? Would he really like living with and looking after his Grandfather? I thought Billy was pretty easy to get along with, but the two of them didn't really know each other that well. There were a million things we probably should have been talking about, but instead, my mind kept wandering back to Nessie. All I could think about was her. Her bloodlust for me was getting more and more insatiable and there seemed to be nothing I could do to help.

When the plane landed we gathered our bags, got into the rental car, and began the two hour drive from the SeaTac Airport to La Push, but I still hadn't thought of what to say to my son.

"DAD! What is it?" Dave screamed at me when we were about an hour away from La Push.

"Huh?" I absently murmured back to him. I wasn't sure exactly what he was upset about, but when I turned my head to look at him I saw how pissed he looked, but I didn't have a clue why. I thought, if anything, he would have been happy now.

"It's been nine hours. You haven't said a word to me the entire trip. What's wrong? You're so angry at me for leaving you're giving me the silent treatment, like Felicity? Are you never going to talk to me again, either? Is that it? I thought you had come to terms with me moving home to La Push with Grandpa Billy. I thought you were fine with this but if you're never going to speak to me again -"

"No, Dave," I cut him off. "That wasn't what I was doing. I... I'm sorry, I was actually thinking about your Mother."

"Oh." Understanding replaced the anger that covered his face. "Things haven't been going that great between the two of you lately, have they?"

"We're just figuring out how to deal with your Mother reaching maturity, but it's nothing for you to worry about. Really, don't fret, it'll be fine," I lied. In reality I wasn't sure how we're going to fix things but really it was all I could think about lately. "I shouldn't have been ignoring you, you're right. This is our time together, our last time... for a little while now."

"Hey Dad, if you want to talk about things, go right ahead, I'm here to listen," he replied.

Damn. I've tried to keep the actual enormity of Nessie's bloodlust for me away from our children. I didn't want them worrying about us. We told them the basics but hadn't really gone into too many specifics. Clearly, for Dave to be worried he must have found something out. Maybe I'd let something slip when we were both phased. Then again he and his sister probably noticed that Nessie and I weren't sleeping in the same bedroom anymore.

"I didn't think that it was possible for Imprints to fight, like you guys are," Dave went on. "I thought it was a lifelong bond, or something. I didn't think you would… could even break up. But Mom feeding from wolves was really bad. I understand how that's something you couldn't forgive her for."

"That's not what's happening here. Your Mother and I aren't breaking up." Then probably against my better judgment I broke down and told him the entire truth. I wasn't sure how he was going to take it, we hadn't mentioned how bad it was to either of our children, but I guess he deserved to know how bad his Mother's bloodlust for me had gotten, especially if he would have to go through the same thing Nessie was. He might not.

Nessie thought she was only this attracted to my blood because of our Imprint bond. Dave didn't have an Imprint. He would finish growing in a matter of months, Imprint free, and without a soulmate he wouldn't have to worry about this happening to him. And he wasn't attracted to human blood anyway. At most he might need to gorge himself on half the deer in the state and that would be the end of it, if this was like Nahuel said, the end of the maturation process for Half-Vampires.

We had to end our conversation when we pulled up to my dad's house.

"Jacky, there you are," Rachel called happily as she ran out of the house. Paul soon followed, carrying a twin in each arm.

"Hi Rach," I said as I picked my sister up and spun her around a couple of times, while Paul and Dave awkwardly shook hands as Paul tried to balance the kids in his arms. One was sleeping, which didn't seem to be giving him a problem, but the other was squirming all over the place.

"Great to see you guys again. Lunch is on the table, come on in," she said as she started leading us inside. "After you eat we can start moving Dave in and us out."

"Where's Billy and little Jeremy?"

"Nap time," Paul quietly said, looking a little sad. Was my dad's condition even worse than it had been we Dave and I visited last month?

I didn't want to wake him if he was asleep in his room so I'd have to wait to talk to him.

"Rachel this was delicious," I told her once we had finished eating. I don't know how she did it… taking care of two babies, a toddler, Paul, and cooking for all of us. She was amazing.

"You're welcome," Paul spoke up. That stupid grin of his was plastered on his face.

Huh? He cooked?

"Paul's turned into a real Mr. Mom over the years," Rachel informed me.

"Pffh!" I snorted. "Sorry," I then halfheartedly apologized-half laughed, while wiping the milk from my shirt and the table, that had shot out of my nose when I pictured Paul in a frilly apron.

"Hey, I'm a great cook," he snarled. "And what are you even talking about? You use to cook for Billy."

"Sorry… mom," I smirked.

The dishes rattled, one falling and breaking on the floor when Paul slammed his fist on the table. "You know I haven't phased in a few years but if you wanna go outside I think I can still remember how. Then we can settle this like we use to," he taunted me as he shot to his feet.

"Aren't you afraid you might break a nail?"

"BOYS!" Rachel shouted angrily giving both of us a look. "Calm down or I will put the two of you in time out." Paul immediately sat down and didn't take his eyes off of his hands, which were now folded in his lap.

"Pffh!" Dave snorted this time.

One of the babies, who was taking a nap, started crying. They must have woken the other one up, because I heard a second wail, a moment later.

"I'll get them," Paul said, probably thankful to not have to be in the same room as Rachel Having your imprint mad at you was one of the worst feelings in the world.

"I don't know what you think is funny," she now said to my son. "You're going to have to do all of the cooking for Billy from now on."

Suddenly Dave didn't think things were funny anymore. I guess this wasn't one of the things he 'had all worked out'.

"He'd got diabetes. You can't just order pizza for dinner every night. Billy's on a strict diet."

"What? But…I don't… How…" he stammered.

Rachel just rolled her eyes. "I'll write down a few recipes for you that he likes. I assume you can cook a little, right?"

"He'll be fine," I sorta lied. Dave and I were going to have to have some marathon cooking lessons before I left next week.

When I was younger I took over the cooking for Billy and me soon after Rachel and Rebecca left. I wasn't very good, but it was edible. When I moved in with the Cullens I'd throw together the occasional meal, but even though they didn't eat food, they were all somehow still amazing chefs. And since Esme and Bella insisted on making me these gigantic, five star meals, easier than I could over-cook pasta, I didn't object. Esme would give me a few lessons, every now and then but I didn't really get to put it to much use until they moved to France. Nessie and I shared the cooking duties and while I still wasn't as good as even Edward was, I could hold my own in the kitchen.

After Dave and I helped Paul move the rest of his family's stuff down the street to their new house, I showed Dave a few things and we made dinner for everyone that night. It wasn't too bad, but I could see that I had my work cut out for me.

After dinner we went to work unpacking all of Dave's shipped belongings. My old bed, dressers and other items had been stored in the attic and instead of buying new things for Dave we just brought them down.

Nessie and I didn't want him to feel like he couldn't come home to New Hampshire, even to visit, so all of his furniture and bedding stayed in his room there. At some point I would have to go and buy him some new sheets and stuff for here.

The next day, after a quick lesson on cooking eggs, pancakes, and coffee, we organized some more of Dave's things, and then decided to head out for a while. Billy and Charlie had gone fishing for the day so the house was empty.

I decided to give him a more extensive tour of La Push than he'd gotten on his previous visits. Most of the time, when we came here, we'd run around as Wolves or hung out at First Beach. He loved those places, but there was more about the Res than just the beach and woods. I decided to show him around some of the main streets and stores that he would need to go to around here, including a big box retail shopping store, the food market, and the drug store. Billy needed to take daily insulin shots and Dave would have to be the one filling his prescriptions. He also required special food for his condition and Dave needed to know what to buy and what not to.

"Oh my goodness, Jacob Black, is that you?" the old woman behind the counter shouted, as soon as we walked through the door of the convenience store I used to work at during high school. It had been nine years since I'd seen Mrs. Archer. It looked like she'd lost a few pounds over the years and her hair color reversed, more grey than black now, but her smile was just as genuine and her eyes ever as kind.

Back then, when I use to work here, before I began phasing of course, I looked like a typical, skinny fifteen to sixteen year old kid, now I looked like a twenty-five year old man. Of course I was pretty much that now, and had been ever since I first phased. But she didn't know anything about werewolves or any of that. In a way it was good that she hadn't seen me all this time, I'm sure she just assumed I aged normally between now and then.

"It's good to see you again," I smiled warmly at her while going over to the counter and wrapping her in a giant hug. She was always so kind to me back then, and never even made a deal out of the fact that I pretty much just abandon her one day, never returning to work, after I first phased into a Wolf. There was no way I would have been able to continue working behind the counter of the convenience store, she owned with her now dead husband. I was too temperamental back then, phasing into a Wolf at the slightest provocation. Never mind having to patrol in all my former free time, I would've never be able to work at convenience store with customers coming in and out with their annoying issues or messing up shelves that I'd just cleaned, organized, and restocked. But she never said one harsh word to me the few times she saw me after that and I was so grateful to her.

I'm pretty sure Billy had called her and gave her some excuse back then anyway, but a personal call, from me, letting her know I was quitting with at least two week notice would have been right thing do, if I'd been able to at the time, which I was not.

"And who is this?" she asked, looking at my son.

"Oh, this is... err, my... um friend, Dave," I replied. My son looked about twenty-three years old. There was no way people would believe he was mine.

"Hello. It's nice to meet you," Dave jumped in, extending his arm and shaking her hand. At least he was showing some good manners. I guess Nessie and I did something right raising him over the past fifteen months. Sheesh, that's really not that long, I winced to myself again.

"You have a lovely store," David continued as his eyes wandered around to some shelves behind the counter before the corner magazine rack caught his eye. It looked like Dave was eyeing a few Comics. It's funny in a way; all he wanted to do was to be seen as an adult and here he was looking at Comic Books meant for children.

"Oh, those are funny little things, aren't they?" Mrs. Arthur snickered to herself, after following David's glance herself." Do you have a son that likes Comic Books?" she asked him.

"No, ma'am. I don't. Not yet anyway. I just used to read this one when I was little," he replied, looking a little embarrassed, while putting back the one he'd picked up.

"When you were little?" she questioned him, but said more to herself. "That one's only been out for about three years."

It looked like David's cover story was about to be blown, or whatever it was that we were trying to pull off here.

"Um, David is about to begin college," I said a little louder than necessary, to Mrs. Archer, quickly trying to change the subject.

"Oh, that's so wonderful! Did you just move here for school? I don't remember seeing you around these parts before."

"I come around a little every once in awhile but this is where my family's from, originally. They moved away but some of my extended family still lives here. I'm moving in with them while I go to school," he replied.

"Oh, I see. Well, would you be looking for a job then? Because I do happen to need a new cashier and stock boy. It's just part time but if you're going to be going to college then you probably won't have a lot of free time anyway."

This is going to be perfect. I wouldn't even have to help David get a job, it would make him feel like he actually got one on his own, in a way, I guess.

"You wouldn't believe how big the boys grow around here," she continued, looking David and I up and down, now. "Actually, I guess you two would. But it seems like I have to restock the shelves here all the time. Some of the boys on the Reservation seem to get the munchies two to three times a day. Not that I'm complaining. Business has been wonderful this past decade or so. And if you were working here," she added, "you get a ten percent discount, which judging by the size of you, will probably come in very handy."

We all started chuckling. If she only knew the real reason why I don't think she would be laughing, but as the saying goes – ignorance is bliss.

David ended up eagerly accepted the job and was set to start next week, giving him a bit of time to get settled in first, then it would be time for me to leave.

Renesmee's Point of View

"What are you doing here?" I asked my family after their airport taxis pulled away. They had just showed up, out of the blue. No text. No video chat. No nothing. They hadn't called, or anything, to let me know they were coming; not that I was upset. I was overjoyed that they're back, but what was going on?

"I called them, Mom," my daughter answered. "I couldn't stand seeing you like this anymore."

"Actually," my Father interjected, "we were going to be coming anyway. Alice had a vision that we would be here so we'd already started packing when you called, Felicity; but until your phone call we didn't know why." Then his face filled with concern as he turned to me. "Renesmee, what's going on? Is there a problem? Has something happened?"

I tried to answer but I couldn't even get two words out. He probably saw everything in my mind already, anyway about how Jacob and David had left – over a month ago, and never returned. I thought I'd been holding it together for Felicity, but if she called them it meant that I had failed. Unintentionally I dropped down on the floor, crying hysterically.

This was all my fault. If I'd been a better Mother to David, if I'd taught him better, explained things to him, let him hunt Vampires around us, or... I don't know, something, then maybe, he would have stayed.

And Jake probably wouldn't have stayed away if I hadn't hunted Wolves. They both would still be here if it wasn't for me. But my stupid, selfish, weak reason for doing it... I never should have. I should have been stronger. I should have fought... fought my thirst better. I thought, at the time, drinking the wolves was the best solution; so that I wouldn't kill my Jacob. I couldn't hurt him.

I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but now I've lost him; and my son, as well. They're gone. So what was the point?

I heard my Father explain to everyone what I just thought in my mind, while my Mother gently carried me up to my bedroom. After laying me in my bed she wrapped herself around me, cuddling me, as I wept into her hair. At some point I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I knew it was morning. My Mother must have left at some time during the night. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but her scent was fading and I was warm. I was wrapped in blankets but I wish she was still here; I needed someone to hold me even if it was in her icy arms. I didn't mind and always found them comforting. Almost as much as Jacob's.

Jacob.

Damn!

I'd been trying to not even think his name. It just made me cry. Instead I got up and went to take a shower. Once in, I just stood there, for what seemed like forever but it was really just over an hour. The warmth reminded me of… him. The water heater at the house was set at a hundred fifty degrees normally, so I just stood there, letting the warmth wash over me, pretending it was my J… him. Nothing else ever seemed warm to me. But this - this reminder of him was another mistake. It brought all my sadness, fears, concerns, back again and I crumbled down on the shower floor as the tears ran down my cheeks.

Eventually my Aunts came and got me, wrapping me in a fluffy towel and quickly dressing me in something, I don't know what, I didn't really care either.

I could tell my Father was furious. I heard him yelling when my Aunts briefly opened my door. He was right to be. He must have heard everything by now, the whole horrible truth. He knew what a monster I truly was. How horrible a person I'd become. I couldn't believe I'd done this. I'd ripped my family apart.

"No darling," he softly whispered over to me as my Aunts walked me into the kitchen where my family had gathered. "I'm not mad at you. You did nothing wrong. What you did wasn't evil or even intentional. You tried to do the best you could in a no-win situation. But we will find a solution to this. Don't worry, my darling. And don't worry about Jacob," he said while softly trying to hid a growl. "Everything will work out. I'll make sure of it."

What did he mean by that? How was he going to fix things for us?

"Renesmee, don't worry. It will all work out," my Grandmother reiterated as she placed the breakfast she'd made in front of me at the kitchen table. It looked so good; too bad I didn't have an appetite.

"Nessie, darling, sweetheart," my Mother cooed softly to me, "why didn't you call us? We would have been back sooner, we could have helped."

"How can you help? I want to feed from Jacob and I can't do that. There's nothing I can do about it. It's not like I can drink from him or turn him into a Vampire to curve my appetite for his blood like Dad did to you."

"Nessie, if there's a solution to this problem then we will find it. You just have to believe that. You and Jacob were meant to be together."

I tried to be strong and believe her but at the mention of his name I started balling again.

"Nessie, honey you really need to eat something," my Aunt Alice said to me as she waved the latest deer she caught me in front of my face. But I couldn't.

Deer blood no longer had any appeal to me. Neither did almost any other animal. The same was true of human food, but I never really cared for that, and now I couldn't even bring myself to eat the ones I mildly enjoyed - eggs and strawberries.

The only thing that I did want was Jacob's blood, and well... other wolves. But the reaction I got from Jacob – his leaving - was too destructive. I just couldn't drink them anymore.

But it didn't matter anyway. He was gone, he went home to La Push. I haven't heard anything from him, since he left. I know everybody in the family was worried about me. I heard the whispers behind my back. The plans my parents tried to make to force-feed me blood, but my Grandfather wouldn't allow it. And it's not like I was going to die. I was Immortal after all, so what would be the point?

Sure I'd lost some weight and wasn't as strong as I normally was, but I didn't care.

"What if we're wrong, Renesmee," my Mother tried reasoning with me. "What if you're only semi-immortal? You need to eat honey."

Semi-Immortal?

I didn't care, I couldn't be swayed. Maybe it was better this way. What was the point of living if I didn't have my J… my soulmate in my life?

David was where he wanted to be, and Felicity had adapted and was doing well, as far as I could tell. She missed them but nothing ever seemed to get her too down. She initially wept when her brother left, but as I withdrew more and more, while waiting for her Father to return, she began hanging out more with Nahuel. They seemed to have become good friends and she was doing well, having found a substitute replacement brother/father figure in him, or something. I was too lost to really tell.

I just didn't understand it. When he didn't come home when he was supposed to I got worried and tried calling. But he didn't answer. Neither did David. The only person I was able to reach was Billy, and he just said that they were busy. I called and texted again and again. The results were always the same. Billy assured me that he was relaying my messages, but I never heard from him directly. Why couldn't he just call? How busy could he be moving David into Billy's house? And why would it take so long? Eventually as the weeks passed I came to realize that "busy" must have been some sort of code that he'd left me. But why couldn't he at least call his daughter? I knew he must hate me, that was understandable; drinking from wolves was inexcusable, but he left Felicity too. How could he do that to his own daughter? And why wouldn't David want to talk to his sister either?

I was all questions and no answers.

I couldn't understand how he could do this to me. He Imprinted on me. Didn't that mean that he had to love me? Had this been too much that I actually broke our Imprint? No that couldn't be it. I was sure he loved me still. Just as much as I loved him.

But what had happened?

Finally it dawned on me. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking, on my part, but I was so upset I convinced myself it was true. It had to be... right? Jacob must have realized how low my control actually had gotten and decided it was safest for him to stay away. And that must be why he so readily agreed to let Dave move as well. Maybe he was also concerned for our son's safety.

Maybe. It was probably just wishful thinking, but for the first time in forever my heart didn't hurt to the point where I wanted to rip it out of my chest to make the pain go away.

I wanted another's opinion but as I looked around the room I noticed that's my Father was missing. "Where's Dad?" I asked to no one in particular. Everyone's eyes kind of darted around, not settling on anything in particular or looked to the floor. There was something that they weren't telling me.

"What? What's it?" I asked again.

"Your Father's gone to La Push, honey," my Mother cautiously admitted to me.

"What? Why?" I screamed. I hadn't meant to, but my emotions got the better of me.

"He's going to bring Jacob home, of course," Aunt Alice chirped, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, he can't! It's too dangerous. Why would he do that?"

"Nessie, the only way to fix this is for him to be here, so we can work it out and find a solution. Nothing is ever going to get fixed if the two of you are separated," Rose explained. Or at least she tried to. I didn't believe her for a second.