All characters belong to Sega/Archie except my OCs.

Chapter 19

Sleep became my new best friend. In the silent darkness, I didn't have to think about anything. Not school. Not my friends. Not my parents. Not my stubborn desires. Not even my own blissful fantasies. I enjoyed the long-overdue break from my convoluted thoughts every night. During the week, I started retiring to bed earlier and earlier.

At school, my mask drained my energy. My smiles and optimistic personality grew heavier and heavier. Some days, I'd drop them the minute I hopped into my car. Honestly, I wasn't sure how I carried them through the absurd student council meetings and substance-less lunch conversations. I'd guess because the pain in my cheeks had become second nature. I barely felt the burn anymore. If I did, it was because I wanted to feel something other than the dizziness from my spinning thoughts.

At home, there was usually silence. My parents returned to ignoring my existence. They only acknowledged me when they needed my presence for public events. I may have been a disappointment in their eyes, but they'd be damned if I appeared that way to others. When we weren't at dinner with their colleagues or formal get-togethers, my parents hid away in their offices or stayed late at work. I'd become numb to their lack of attention. It didn't bother me anymore. I couldn't say the same for Manic.

Although he was, sadly, adapting to my parents' more prominent absence, it was clear he was hurt by their actions. He started slamming doors behind him, throwing small tantrums when he was upset, and holding short-lived grudges. His small outbursts and frowns didn't bother me either. Within a few hours after a tantrum and screaming how much he hated me, he'd usually come tip toeing back into my room with ice cream as a peace offering.

I always welcomed him into my arms and held him close. I never spoke when he began to cry. Instead, I tightened my grasp and silently assured him his feelings were valid.

On Halloween, I did my best to take his mind off our parents. I walked him around the neighborhood in his Miles Morales inspired Spider-Man costume. He received loads of compliments from our neighbors and other children on the block. None of them could believe Manic could get his hands on such a costume. Each time someone asked Manic where he'd brought the suit, he proudly pointed to me. "My big brother brought it for me," he said with a grin.

I didn't know what wonders clicking around on Amazon could do for the kid.

After the ghostly holiday, I tried to spend more time with him. Once a week, I took him out for a treat. On Sundays, I let him hang out in my room and play video games while I completed my homework. On the days when I wanted to sleep, I left my door open. Usually, he'd join me in my bed for a nap or he'd turn on the television at a low volume and quietly watch his favorite shows. Time wasn't much, but it was all I could give at the moment.

On a late Saturday afternoon, my brother woke me from a deep slumber. He bounced on my bed, screaming my name. "What," I grumbled into my pillows.

"Your phone is ringing," he said. He pushed the vibrating device to my ear. "It's Shadow."

My eyes shot open. I yanked my cell from my brother's hand and answered the phone.

To my relief, my friendship with Shadow hadn't taken an awkward turn. After our conversation in the parking lot, he seemed to wipe his memory clean of the kiss. He continued to behave as he normally did: indifferent to almost everything that moved.

Well, except me.

He started sending me his Spotify playlists with artists and songs he thought I'd like. In class, during independent time, we'd sit close to each other and share his headphones. He shared the works of artists I wasn't familiar with. Either we'd debrief on our short walk out of the classroom or we'd text once we'd gotten home.

Sometimes our conversations drifted away from music. He'd text me about the various cars he was working on or the well-intentioned threats his uncle sent him. I noticed he also tried to do a mental health check-in at least twice a week. It'd come in the form of a simple "How are you feeling today?" or "What's going on in your mind right now?" At first, I was a bit skeptical to tell him the truth. But, even over text he could tell I was lying.

So, I told him when I didn't feel like existing or when my brain told me my family would be better off without me. I confided in him about my worries for Manic's well-being and the suffocated feeling after a night-out at a dinner party. Usually, he let me call him and vent out all my negative feelings. After my long-winded rants, he'd tell me to take a deep breath and steady my breathing. Following my compliance, he'd ask if I was feeling better. Each time, I truthfully said yes.

"Hey," Shadow's voice rumbled in my ears. His voice sounded lower than usual.

My brows came together. "Hi. Are you okay?"

"Are you busy tonight?"

"No. Why?"

"Do you want to hang out?"

"Yeah. Of course. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." He paused. "I just need to get out of the house."

I frowned. "We could go to Dave & Buster's if you want. I could go for some arcade games and hot wings."

"Dave & Buster's," Manic exclaimed. "Can I come?"

"Is it alright if my little brother tags along?" I asked.

"Mhm. Would you mind picking me up?"

"Not at all. Just text me your address. I'll pick you up in an hour."

I ended the call and looked at my younger brother. "Hop in the shower and get dressed," I told him.

Like the Flash, he ran with lightning speed out of my room.

Reluctantly, I hauled myself out of bed and headed into the bathroom. The hot water from the shower threatened to lull me back to sleep. Despite the almost five o' clock hour, my body still held on to the stones of sleep. They weighed my shoulders down and stiffened the bones in my spine. Diving back underneath my covers and sleeping for a few more hours would surely provide a cure. But quality time with Manic and Shadow were awaiting.

My brother bounced up and down at the front door when I finally arrived downstairs. His coat was zipped, and his shoes were perfectly tied. "Come on, Sonic," he yelled. "We've got to get there before it gets crowded." He grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door.

Surprisingly, Shadow's house wasn't too far from mine. Although he lived on the other side of town, the car ride only lasted about fifteen minutes. I remembered the brick townhouse meshed between a row of identical structures. My stomach twisted as the memory of Shadow's lips on mine accompanied the image.

Shadow came out the door shortly after I honked my horn. As usual, a hoodie was thrown over his torso, and ripped jeans clothed his legs. A line remained on his lips as he hopped into the car.

"Hey," I greeted him.

He slammed the door shut. "Hi."

"Hi Shadow," Manic exclaimed from the backseat.

Shadow turned his head and smirked at my brother struggling to lean forward for a fist bump. "What's up?" He met Manic's little hand halfway, gently tapping his knuckles against Manic's. "I heard you're hanging out with us today."

"Yeah! I love Dave & Buster's!"

A chuckle rumbled in Shadow's throat. "What's your favorite game?"

"The jumbo boxers! They're so cool!" He paused. "But I also really like the piano game where the keyboard lights up! The keys are so big! Oh, and the basketball games where you can shoot the ball into the high nets! And the –"

"Almost every game is his favorite," I interjected.

Manic stuck his tongue out at me. "All of their games are awesome!"

"Well, I'm excited to see what games they have up here. I've only been to the ones in Baltimore."

I raised an eyebrow. "You've lived up here for four years, and you've never been to the local Dave & Buster's?"

He shrugged. "Usually, I go there with my brothers when I'm visiting my mom."

"You have brothers," Manic asked in awe.

My friend's lips curled downwards. "Mhm."

"How many?"

"Two."

"Younger or older?"

"Older."

"What are they like?"

I noticed his jaw clench from the corner of my eye. "Manic, why don't you tell Shadow about your experiment in science class?" I suggested.

My brother's eyes lit up from the memory. Immediately, he began babbling about the explosive slime he and his classmates made during the week.

Shadow actively listened to the story, smirking and chuckling. A few times, he turned his seat to watch Manic's animated hand gestures or ask for more in-depth explanations of the substance they were creating.

"You should teach me how to make it sometime," Shadow said.

My brother's eyes grew wide. He leaned forward in his seat. "Really?"

"Of course. Then, we can put in it the bathroom and watch it explode in your brother's face."

Manic howled in laughter. "That'd be awesome!"

"What?" I exclaimed. "Manic, you are supposed to be on my side!"

"But it'd be funny!"

"If I'm washing my hands one day, and a bunch of distorted green slime explodes in my face, I will kill you."

"Do you hear this, Shadow? He's threatening me!"

Shadow smirked. "Don't worry, Manic. If he wants to get his hands on you, he'll have to go through me first. He's not winning that battle."

I raised his eyebrow. "Do you wanna bet?"

"How much you wanna put on the table?"

Manic grinned. "Can I be the referee?"

"No, you'll cheat," I said. "You've made it clear where your loyalty lies."

Shadow rolled his eyes. "He'll be fair. You're going to end up on your ass anyway."

I glanced at him. "You really think you can kick my ass, don't you?"

His smirk grew. "Of course."

"We'll have a fair match later when we get home." I paused. "That's if…if you wanna come over for a little while."

"As long as I'm home by ten, I'm down."

A smile unintentionally spread across my lips. "Okay, cool."

When we arrived at the oversized arcade, Manic raced to Shadow's side instead of mine. He stuck close to my friend as we entered the flurry of colorful lights and chorus of video game theme songs. As we walked towards the play card rechargers, he pointed out his favorite games to Shadow. With each one, Shadow promised he'd play at least one round with him.

Unsurprisingly, he kept his promise. Once the two of us loaded up our game cards, he allowed Manic to drag him wherever his little heart desired. First, they went toe-to-toe in the piano game. Then, they assisted each other in the Virtual Reality Walking Dead game. They battled on the jumbo rock-em sock-ems. The jumbo flappy bird held their attention for a long while. They made a contest of who could score the most points before dying. Shadow handed Manic the basketballs on the shooting nets, and in return, Manic cheered him on. I had to step in on that game and remind Shadow I could kick his ass in basketball. We had a mock shoot-off, and despite Shadow trying to sabotage me by nudging my arms as I threw a shot, I came out on top.

I stuck my tongue out at him after my victory.

Smirking, he shoved my shoulder. "Fix your face."

I closed some of the distance between us. "What if I don't?"

"Do you want me to pop you in front of all these people? Cause I'll do it."

I chuckled. "You aren't gonna do shit."

Wordlessly, his arm wrapped around my neck and he pulled me into a headlock. He bent down with me and tossed a few gentle punches to my stomach. "You are gonna stop talking shit."

I couldn't contain my laughter as he pushed me away. "Or else what?"

"Wait till we get back to your house."

I shook my head. "Whatever."

Manic grabbed Shadow's hand and towed him off towards one of the shooter games.

I followed close behind the two, allowing my eyes to wander around the brightly lit facility. My stomach clenched as I met a familiar Cheshire smile. His glistening embers threatened to lock me into an enchanted gaze. The memories of his alluring lips and careful hands on my skin rushed through my brain. I hesitantly glanced at Shadow and Manic. Both were preoccupied with the game they were playing.

My eyes found the boy again, though closer this time. Graceful strides led him towards me.

I stuffed my hands in my pocket as blood filled my cheeks. "Hey," I said as he approached me.

"Hi." The distinct scent of cigarette smoke radiated from his clothes. "You haven't called in a while. I was beginning to worry."

"The phone works two ways you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Every time I call you, the conversation lasts maybe two or three minutes."

"Because you always call when I'm busy!"

"Hm." He took a step closer, closing much more distance than I was comfortable with in a public setting. "When's the next time you want to hang out?" His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "I miss you."

His alluring gaze and seductive smirk caused my voice to disappear in my throat. "I…um…"

"Sonic," my brother exclaimed. His impact into my leg broke me from the boy's spell. "Shadow and I made it all the way to the final round! We almost beat the boss, but we were outnumbered!" His gaze drifted to the boy standing near me. "Oh," his voice grew quiet. "Hi."

He offered Manic a kind smile. "Hello." His eyes traveled to Shadow, and his smile faltered. "Who's this?"

"Oh…this….this is…this is Shadow…he…he, uh…"

His eyes returned to me. "Boyfriend?" He asked as his eyebrow cocked upwards.

Flames licked up my face. "No! No, no, no, no," I stuttered.

"We're just friends," Shadow finished. His brows came together. "Who are you?"

"Owen," he replied. "I'm also a friend of Sonic's."

"Oh." Shadow studied him, eyeing him from the top of his unruly curls to his black converses. "He's never mentioned you."

Owen cracked a malicious smirk. "Funny. He's never mentioned you either."

Shadow narrowed his eyes, and his lips curled into a frown.

Manic, bless his little heart, sensed the tension between the two. He grabbed Shadow's hand and tugged. "Shad, can we play the Flappy Bird game again?"

"Mhm." He allowed my little brother to tow him off again. But not before he harshly bumped my shoulder as he passed.

What the fuck did I do?

Owen chuckled at Shadow's retreating figure. "Pretty eyes and a temper? Doesn't seem like your type."

I rolled my eyes. "We're just friends."

He shook his head. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." He stepped closer. His hand furtively curled around mine. "Call me," he said as he squeezed. "Okay?"

I glanced behind me towards my brother and friend. My stomach did a flip at the notice of Shadow watching us. His gaze was fixed on our intertwined hands.

"Okay," I replied. Quickly, I wiggled out of his grasp. "I'll call you later."

His wide smile returned. "I look forward to it."

With one boy satisfied, I hurried over to Manic and Shadow. My brother was absorbed in the game, slamming the button strategically. Shadow seemed distracted. He half-heartedly pushed the button, barely dodging the obstacles in front of his digital character.

"Hey, after this game, how about we grab some food," I suggested.

"Okay!" Manic exclaimed.

Shadow gave up on the game. Carelessly, he let his bird fall off the screen.

Manic's bird fell a few minutes later after colliding with one of the green pipes.

The three of us ascended the steps of the facility into the restaurant section. Due to the small crowd, we were quickly seated in a booth. Manic immediately claimed the seat beside Shadow, leaving me on a side by myself.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" I asked my brother.

Manic nodded.

"Want me to go with you?"

"No! I'm a big boy! I can go by myself!"

I raised an eyebrow as he hopped out the booth and strutted towards the men's room. I didn't tear my eyes away from his small figure until he was hidden behind the bathroom door. Butterflies tore at my stomach as I reluctantly met Shadow's narrowed gaze. "What?" I asked.

He averted his gaze.

"Why are you mad at me?"

He shook his head. "I'm not mad."

"Well, you're obviously upset. So, tell me."

He crossed his arms and held them tight against his chest.

I sighed. "He's just one of my friends outside of school, Shadow. We don't hang out as much as you and I do." And when we did hang out, there wasn't much talking involved. As much as I'd hate to admit it, Owen didn't know me. Not like Shadow did. I wished I could reach across the table, squeeze his hand, and tell him that.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay? That's it? You're not upset anymore?"

He nodded.

"Then fix your face."

His ruby gaze returned to me. "Make me."

"Wait till we get back to my house."

A smile tugged at his lips.

The three of us stayed at Dave & Buster's for a few more hours. After our early dinner, Manic continued to drag Shadow around to almost every single game. I hung back and watched the two of them play. It was nice seeing Manic interact with Shadow. I enjoyed seeing the softer side of Shadow.

Frequently, he was bending down to Manic's height or picking him up to help him onto the high stools or aiding him in placing his hands on the correct buttons. For a moment, I almost forgot Shadow was the youngest brother in his family. From a stranger's eyes, it seemed like he'd been doing this big brother gig for ages. One would never know he'd probably been in Manic's shoes most of his life. Perhaps that's why he was so good with him. He knew exactly what he needed in certain moments, whether it be words of encouragement or a guiding hand or a playful squabble of teasing. Though the thought of if he'd ever received the same kindness and support from his brothers worried me. I recalled his family's troubled past, and I wondered if Shadow's brothers ever treated him the way he was treating Manic.

On the way home, Manic fell asleep in the backseat. The soft beats of the Spotify playlist Shadow sent me lulled him to sleep. Beside me in the passenger seat, Shadow remained wide awake. He quietly sung the songs and bobbed his head to the beat.

During the bridge of NF's "Got You on My Mind," I couldn't help but watch him. A soft smile played on his lips as he sung every word. For once, his shoulders weren't so tense, and his smile matched his eyes. A smirk of my own pulled at my lips from the sight. His eyes sparkled under the moonlight, and his bronze skin glowed with silver light. My eyes lingered on his moving lips, memorizing every curve.

I froze when his lips stopped moving and a smile replaced the song. I rose my gaze to his glowing crimson eyes, and my lungs nearly combusted. Hastily, I turned my head and glued my eyes to the road.

Underneath the music, I could hear his soft chuckle.

Upon our arrival at my house, I carried Manic out of the car and upstairs into his room. I instructed Shadow to wait in my room, promising I'd be there in a minute. Swiftly, I changed Manic into his pajamas and tucked him into bed.

When I finally entered my room, I saw Shadow sitting on the edge of my bed. The light of his phone lit up his features as his fingers moved rapidly across the screen. "Letting your uncle know where you are?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

He glanced up at me. "Yeah."

I stepped out of my sneakers. "Are you still up for my fair one?"

He smirked. "I was waiting on you." He kicked off his sneakers and pulled off his hoodie.

As he was tossing his hoodie to the side, I tackled him against the bed. I swiveled to the side, away from his legs, and captured him into a headlock.

"Hey," he yelled. "I wasn't ready!"

"Weren't you the one who said if you stayed ready, you wouldn't have to get ready?"

He threw light punches at my arm. "I'm gonna fuck you up."

"Oh yeah?" I pulled him up, rubbing my fist into his silky curls. "Do it then."

One of his arms wrapped around my waist while the other pushed at the arm around his neck. He wiggled his head out from my grasp and shoved me.

I fell against my bed cushions. In an instant, he was straddling me. One of his hands captured my wrists and the other alternated between slapping my cheeks and punching my stomach. I wriggled beneath him, twisting my torso to throw him off me. He was firm in his position, refusing to budge no matter how much I struggled. I forcefully freed my hands and wrapped my arms around him. From all my practice with Manic, and endless workouts from basketball, I managed to pick him up and slam him down against the mattress.

"Oh shit," he exclaimed from beneath me. "You're stronger than you look."

I smirked. I grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed. "The worst mistake is always underestimating your opponent. One," I started to count.

"Oh no you don't." He pushed against me, lifting his wrists and shoulders. He tore one of his hands free and used it to balance himself as he moved from under me. Once free of my weight, he threw his leg over me from behind and shoved my head down into my pillow. He grabbed my arms and pulled them up behind me.

I groaned from the slight pain. "Playing dirty, are we?"

"I grew up with two older brothers. Playing fair only gets your ass kicked."

I ripped one of my arms away from him. I shifted onto my back from underneath him.

He easily regained control over my free arm and firmly pinned it against the mattress.

Before I could try to start writhing, he intertwined his legs with mine, holding them still.

Blood rushed to my cheeks as I watched him hover over me with a victorious smile.

"One," he started.

I tried to move beneath him, but to no avail. His hold on me was too strong.

"Two," he continued.

I attempted to move my shoulders up.

Shadow noticed my movement. He leaned his chest against mine, adding more pressure to my already pinned body.

Heat rushed through my bones from the contact. In this position, I could feel almost every part of his body. His defined abs. His long legs. His firm hands. His slim hips. The longer I stared up at him, helpless and dominated, the more I was tempted to close the short distance between our lips. He was already so close. I could practically taste the mint from his gum. His breaths were warm and even against my face.

"Three," he finished. "I win!"

I rolled my eyes. "Get off me."

"Make me."

I struggled to lift my wrists. No matter how high I managed to raise them, he always pushed them back down. I had to admit, this dude was strong as hell. I tried moving my legs next, but he wasn't having that. His legs grip on mine tightened with every attempt.

"Are you done?" He asked once I'd exhausted almost every body part.

Sighing, I accepted defeat. "Yeah."

He smirked. He lightly smacked my cheek one last time before he untangled himself. He lay down beside me, panting softly.

I rolled onto my side. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

He glanced at me. "Nothing is bothering me."

I propped myself up on my elbow. "Don't lie to me, Shadow." My hand traveled to meet his. Cautiously, I grabbed it. His palm was hot and sweaty from our wrestling match. Still, his skin was smooth, and the curve of his thumb fit perfectly between mine. "Talk to me. Please."

His brows came together from our hands' contact. He averted his eyes as far as he could without completely turning away from me. "It's almost ten o' clock. You should start driving me home."

Reluctantly, I released his hand. I gently grabbed his chin and guided him to look at me. "You can talk to me. You can trust me."

He stared at me for a long moment, tears filling his beautiful red eyes. "It's…it's my brother."

"What happened?"

"Remember…remember when I told you I haven't seen him in over a year?"

I nodded.

"It's because he left. He just picked up and moved. He didn't tell me where. He usually called me from payphones or prepaid numbers. The last time we talked, a few weeks ago, I…I could tell he was getting bad. He was high off his ass, and he…it wasn't a happy high. He was rambling about dad and his mistakes and how he felt like he let me down – how he refused to keep letting me down. This morning, my mom called me and…she told me she'd gotten a…" His voice lowered. "A phone call from the…from a hospital in New York City…because my brother…he…" Cracks appeared his voice. "He overdosed and…they had to…they weren't sure if they could…save him because…because his body was so fucked up and…" He closed his eyes as tears began to slide down his cheeks. "So, she drove down there…with my uncle. I wanted…I wanted to come, but…but my uncle made me stay home. So, I…I called you because I…I didn't want to be alone…"

Without hesitance, I pulled him close and tightly embraced him. "You're not alone," I assured him. "I'm here. I've got you."

He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing so tightly that I nearly grimaced from the pain. He contained his sobs, but his tears fell freely through my shirt.

"Have you…heard anything?" I cautiously asked.

"That's…that's what I was doing when…when you came in." He dug his phone out of his pocket. He sniffled as he read the long message on his screen. "He's…he's okay…breathing at least…" He roughly wiped the tears off his cheeks. "When he wakes up…it'll be…it'll be another story."

I frowned. I pulled him closer against me. "Do you want to sleep over tonight?"

He nodded. "Please."

"Of course." I pressed my lips into his hair. The fresh scent of his shampoo wafted through my nose, awakening the butterflies in my stomach. Clenching my teeth, I swallowed my feelings. Yes, he was close. Yes, he was warm. Yes, he smelled amazing. But tonight, was not the time to wallow in my feelings. Tonight, I needed to be there for him – as just a friend. Tomorrow I could reminisce about holding him like this. For now, I was content simply holding him and catching every single tear falling from his eyes.