Prescription

Naishe waited for Clarissa to return, but she never did.

She lay awake in bed, unable to sleep, least of all because of the storm raging outside. Images of Claudio's accusations, of Pravus relaying her deviant behaviour, and even of Luis' anger filled her head. She tried to reassure herself that Clarissa was just too busy. There had been a lot of Luis' associates there, and they probably demanded more food and more wine. Perhaps she had been asked to 'entertain' them, though that did nothing to appease Naishe's worry.

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, the Rivaini finally fell asleep.

When a servant she didn't recognise woke her, Naishe's fears were confirmed.

"Your husband's asked for your presence in the parlour."

A dreary-eyed Naishe reluctantly dressed, made some attempt to make up her face and plodded off to the parlour. Anxiety was making her hands shake. She heard men's voices on the other side of the parlour door and pushed it open.

Luis and the bandaged Claudio were waiting for her. They were smoking foul-smelling cigars, but Luis promptly set his down when she entered and went to greet her.

Naishe could taste the tobacco when Luis kissed her, and wrinkled her nose.

"Good morning, my dear. Did you sleep well?" He eyed her up and down.

She made a non-committal grunt.

"Yes…Make sure you have Jibril see to your hair in a moment." He picked at one of the strands of hair. "Looking a little scruffy today aren't we? You're not living on the street any more, my princess."

Naishe knew any protest would fall on deaf ears. "What's going on?" she said through gritted teeth.

"It appears," Luis gestured at Claudio who had remained silent the entire time, "that a member of the household assaulted our good friend Claudio."

Naishe feigned surprise, "Assaulted? Surely not. No one here would ever do that. Couldn't something have fallen off one of the shelves and hit him on the head?"

"No, no. Claudio is quite certain he was hit on purpose. Why, I have no idea."

"Yes," Claudio finally met Naishe's eyes. "I was wondering the same thing."

Naishe looked back to Luis. "Maybe it was just an accident?"

He shook his head. "That's not what it sounded like. It doesn't matter. Clarissa is already gone."

Naishe's eyes widened, "Gone? You…You got rid of her?"

"She hit him with a frying pan! I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour in my house! I've sent her away." Irritation filled Luis' eyes. He had clearly not expected this objection.

"She didn't mean to! I'm sure of it!" Naishe looked at him with pleading eyes. "How long has she worked for you? You know she would never do something like that. It was an accident! Maybe she thought he was an intruder, or-"

"Enough." Luis held up his hand, "the damage is done. She's gone. That is the end of it. Now are you going to settle down and join us for breakfast or carry on being hysterical?"

The defiant glare in Naishe's eyes must have given her planned objections away, because Luis sighed and placed his hand over her mouth.

"Not another word."

Naishe was tempted to bite his hand, but she knew nothing good would come of it.

Luis jerked his head at one of his servants who'd appeared as though on cue. "You. Take her up to her room. I don't want to hear any more whining today."

Fury filled every bone in Naishe's body. Books flew across the room. Chairs were upturned. A window was smashed. The storm outside wailed and rain poured through the broken glass. The splendid silks in her armoire was shreds on the floor. Naishe still wasn't satisfied. She wrenched one of the wretched oil paintings off the wall. The scene depicted was fairly benign; a nymph in a forest clearing, beckoning to an armoured youth to come closer. The fact that the nymph was naked was probably for Luis' benefit. Naishe no longer saw a beautiful painting, she just saw him. She plunged a paper knife into the heart of the nymph, tearing through the painting with ease. She stabbed and stabbed, over and over. The painting was little more than scrap when Naishe fell to her knees, letting out a sob.

The chaos was meant to be a rebellion. Against Luis. Against his life. Against this marriage. But Naishe felt empty. He had taken everything from her. Her childhood. Her freedom. Her friend. Even her bitch of a mother. She'd never felt more alone than she did in that moment.

Her body curled into a ball. The floor beneath her damped with her tears. She felt more like a lost little girl than ever before.

This time, Clarissa didn't come to comfort her.

I was threatened by an anonymous but alluring pirate to point out that she would slit the throat of anyone who crossed her path and dared to mention this moment of desperation in her life. I said it didn't make her desperate. Vulnerability is part of being human. She laughed in my face and told me this was why the Qunari had come so far.

Isabela generally favours sharing the intimate details of one kind in any records. She says it's her way of giving back to the world. When I asked her about how she felt after learning that Clarissa was leaving, she described an erotic and acrobatic scenario between her, three elves and a shapeshifter.

"You don't know that it didn't happen."

"Isabela…"

"It's a far more interesting tale."

"How about this. You tell me the truth, and I'll write a spin-off of your other…exploits."

"Or I could just tug you off right here."

I'd be lying if I said the proposition didn't appeal. But that wasn't why I was here. She gave me her most withering look, and began recounting the events as they truly occurred. I suppose she felt she owed me.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

Naishe didn't answer.

Another knock.

"Fuck. Off."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Naishe cursed again and stomped over to the door to swing it open. "What the fuck do you want?"

To her surprise, Thir Pluret was looking up at her, unmoved by her teared-stained cheeks. "We had a lesson scheduled for ten minutes ago."

Naishe glared at him and turned away. "You can shove your lessons right up your-"

"Grass."

"What?"

"Grass. Sugargrass from the south. Mix that with the syrup of a eucalyptus plant and it is said to cure all bad dreams."

Naishe stared incredulously at his pensive eyes. "Thank you for your contribution. Please leave me alone."

Thir didn't move. "It is not nightmares that plague you?"

Naishe huffed and crossed her arms, "Not unless I'm about to wake up."

He seemed to consider her for a while, then said, "When a knight encounters a dragon, he may either hide from it and live in fear of exposure, or slay it."

"Urgh!" Naishe rolled her eyes. "Just because you used a metaphor doesn't mean it solves any problems."

"You are troubled."

"Excellent observation." She couldn't help looking into his milky white eyes. They seemed to stare right through her.

"You have lost something very dear to you."

Naishe blew air between her teeth in exasperation. The dwarf couldn't take a hint.

"Will you hide from the demons which have stolen from you, or slay them?"

"Tell me if I'm pronouncing this correctly; Fuck. Off."

Again, Thir seemed to be deep in contemplation.

"Sometimes it is during loss that we find who we truly are."

Naishe didn't want to hear this right now. It was all too soon. Too fresh in her mind. All this talk of loss was making a lump form in her throat. She shook her head.

Thir shuffled forwards, gazing up at her. "Every moment is a lesson, Naishe."

"You've said that a hundred times." She felt the fight draining out of her and went to slump down in the chair by her desk. "Fat lot of good it's done."

"Perhaps you have not been paying attention."

"Yeah, yeah. Every moment is a lesson. Learn from your mistakes. Blah blah." She frowned, "Well this isn't a fucking fairy tale. I'm not about to learn the true meaning of friendship and honesty. She's gone because of me. I screwed up. I made the mistake. The only thing I've learned is that I can't help anyone. I'm useless."

Again, that infuriating pause. "We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves, Naishe." Thir spoke very slowly, choosing each word with great care. "You can choose to be free or you can choose to be saddled with the world's problems."

That surprised Naishe. She had expected him to tell her how important it was to care for others. To try, always to try. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"No. But you do."

Well, that was one way of looking at it. Of everyone she'd met in Antiva, she hadn't expected Thir to so closely understand what she was feeling. How trapped she was. She wondered…How was she meant to live freely whilst stuck here with Luis? And without Clarissa? She was one of the only things that had made this life bearable. Naishe felt fresh tears leaking down her face. She felt hopeless. "And which one means slaying the dragon?"

"That, you have to find out yourself."

"Figures…" She rubbed her eyes, grateful for once that Thir couldn't see her tears.

As if on cue, Thir walked over to the desk, retrieved a bottle from inside his cloak and held it out to her.

"Seriously?"

"An occasional necessity. I once met a young man who fancied himself a magician. He was no mage, but he could turn a few simple tricks well enough to please a crowd. He made quite a name for himself in parts of Orlais. But as his popularity grew, more mages came to watch his shows. They knew him no sorcerer, and would interfere with his tricks. He had to start asking them not to attend. His credibility was lapsing. They said they found it insulting that he was trying to be something he wasn't. Ultimately, he was just an entertainer."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"The magician learned to dull the pain in a way no magic can rival. Drink."

"Oh." She took the bottle and pulled out the cork. The smell stung her nostrils. She took a sip and recoiled. The alcohol was spicy and burned her throat. "Eugh. I hate cinnamon." She offered the bottle back to him. "So you think I should only worry about myself and sit around in this house, drinking to an early grave?"

The dwarf motioned his head in a way that was neither a nod nor a shake. He did not take the bottle and remarked, "You speak as though you were born in Ferelden. I believe our lessons will soon draw to a close."

"You really know how to cheer a girl up…" Naishe placed the drink on the desk and looked at the ground. She felt strange. She hadn't really paid much attention to her progress during their lessons together. She hadn't realised how quickly her Rivaini accent had started ebbing away.

For the first time ever, Thir touched her. It was only a pat on her leg, but it felt significant. "Don't stay in here all day. You like being outside. She'd want you to do something you liked."

A conflicted Naishe watched the dwarf hobbled out of her bedroom, leaving her to her thoughts.