Note: Hello! Thank you so much for the continuous support you give to this story, I realized yesterday that I've been working on this fanfiction for 7 months and I'm glad you like it. And that you have known how to forgive my initial mistakes (and those that maybe I'm still doing) because I'm more used to writing in spanish.

Chapter 22: Scars from the past

Sabrina was looking around the apartment while she waited for Nick to be ready so they could go out, she stopped in front of his bookcase in the back of the living room and looked at the books he had, she couldn't help run a finger down the spines of the books while she read the titles.

She believed someone could get a pretty good idea of a person's nature by looking through his or her books, but Nick's bookshelf was a riddle she was still unable to unravel.

As Nick himself was a mystery on his own.

He had books about different topics, from math to history books and some of astronomy too. She smiled.

"You're such a nerd, Scratch" she muttered to herself.

She liked to read too, they had spent entire afternoons reading in silence, enjoying each other's company without the need sometimes people felt to fill the silence with chatter. She loved to read novels, Nick in the other hand, read –literally– about everything.

"Spellman?"

Sabrina turned around to face him. She smiled.

"You have some interesting titles here" she said indicating the bookcase. Nick simply shrugged "But I'm curious about something"

He raised an eyebrow, telling her without words to go ahead.

"You like to read," Nick nodded "but I never asked you why"

"Reading…" he fell silent for an instant, memories floating in his mind, Nick tried to push them away but he couldn't "sometimes reading it's a good way to escape"

Sabrina looked at him without knowing very well what to say to him. She liked to read because reading could transport her to other worlds, but what she heard in Nick's voice was something else, there was sadness there and that stir something inside of her.

"Nick?" She walked towards him, when she reached his side Sabrina extended her hand to caress his forearm, she felt him shudder under her touch "Escape from what?" she asked with soft voice.

"I didn't have a childhood like yours, Sabrina" he looked at the ceiling and sighed, when Nick looked at her again Sabrina could see a deep sorrow in his eyes "There was no one for me after my parents passed away and…"

"Nick" she tried to take his hand this time but he stepped back slightly, he didn't want pity, especially not hers "Nick...?"

"I'm sorry, you surely don't want to listen to this"

"What?" she asked surprised "I want to hear whatever you want to tell me, Nick. Don't ever think otherwise"

He gave her a little sad smile.

"I grew up in foster homes," he said "and not all were good places"

"Nick..."

"I was not an example of good behavior either" Nick admitted with a shrug "I was angry at the world for taking everything I loved away from me"

Sabrina thought of the boy he once was and how deprived of love his life had been all those years and how there was nothing she could do to erase that sad memories from his mind.

But she could make his future better. With happy memories. Together.

"One day, as a punishment they sent me to order the books in the school library" he began to tell her, she gave him a nod to encourage him to continue "But instead of sending me to order books as the principal had said, the librarian handed me one and sent me to read. I was surprised, at that time I hadn't met many kind adults"

She nodded.

"It was as if a new world opened up to me in that moment" Nick continued "I found a refuge I didn't know existed, it kept me alive. Actually, I don't know what would have happened to me if they hadn't sent me to the library that day. I probably wouldn't even be here"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"Let's say at that time I didn't have the best grades in the world either, I didn't care about anything actually"

"I'm so sorry, Nick… I can't even imagine…"

"It's okay, it's not your fault"

"I know, but… I feel sorry for you" she told him.

Nick shrugged trying to downplay the situation but she knew better. Sabrina tried to approach to him and this time he let her.

"I'm here for you now" she whispered to him.

He hugged her as if she were a lifeline. Nick buried his face in the crook of her neck and let the air out of his lungs as her delicate hands started to caress the taut muscles of his back. They stayed like that for a few seconds, minutes, hours, neither of them was sure about how much time had passed.

Later, Sabrina raised her head to kiss him, it was a slow and tender kiss and she tried to impress everything she felt for him on it.

And that was the moment she knew.

She was in love with him. Truly in love with him.

"Is something wrong, Sabrina?"

"Ah?" Sabrina looked up from her notes, Elspeth was looking at her with worried eyes

"Sabrina?" Elspeth insisted.

"I don't feel very well" she admitted.

"Are you sick or something?"

"No, no… it's just" she took a deep breath "my best friend and I had a fight. She hasn't spoken to me for over a week…"

"I see… You know, if you need to speak to someone I'm here"

Sabrina sighed. She really needed to speak to someone about everything that was happening and Elspeth seemed like someone who could hear her without judging her.

Or at least she hoped so.

"I broke-up with Harvey" she told her, Elspeth didn't look surprised, she was expecting this since she told her she was with Nick "She found out and it didn't seem right to her, with everything that Harvey is going through but... Elspeth, I needed to clarify things between us, tell him what was happening… He needed to hear the truth and I needed to say it before it choked me"

Elspeth sighed.

"You did what you had to do, Sabrina, and as you said your ex needed to know the truth... Your friend will surely understand it too, give her time"

"My aunt Zelda said the same thing. But still... it hurts me that Roz acted like this, she didn't even listen to me"

"Of course it hurt you, it's normal"

Sabrina sighed, she was still looking down when she spoke to her "We better continue"

Elspeth denied.

"No, studying is not what you need right now" Sabrina looked up, a questioning look all over her face "You need to cheer up"

Elspeth began to pick up the notes, pencils and notebooks that were on the middle of the floor, Sabrina looked at her without knowing very well what she was doing.

"Elspeth?"

"Do you know what we are going to do, Sabrina?" she looked at her questioningly "We are going to go to the grocery store and buy a lot of chocolate ice cream, then we'll come back and watch some movies. Some really cheesy movies"

Sabrina gave her a sad smile.

"Thanks Elspeth"

Elspeth shrugged.

"That's what friends are for, Sabrina" she smiled at her "Finish collecting your things, we can continue studying tomorrow"

They finished gathering their things and left for the nearest grocery store. They bought some ice cream and candies and returned to the residence, when Sabrina and Elspeth entered into the dorm they saw that Prudence was there, lying on her bed and looking at her phone.

She looked at them and the bags they were carrying with a question on her eyes.

"Hello Prudence"

"Sabrina, Elspeth, hi"

Sabrina hesitated before speaking to her.

"We are going to see a movie… Do you want to join us?" Sabrina asked, more than anything for being polite. She didn't think Prudence could want to watch the movies with them.

"Why not?" Prudence replied surprising both Elspeth and Sabrina.

Sabrina hesitated before dialing Roz's number.

It was almost a ritual, calling Roz with the hope that she would answer. But she always ended up listening to the voicemail.

So she was surprised when this time it was Roz's voice and not the voicemail who answered her.

"Sabrina" Roz's voice had a neutral tone.

"Roz!" Sabrina exclaimed "Thanks for answering me"

She heard Roz sigh from the other end of the line.

"I think I should at least try to listen to you"

Sabrina sighed too, she settled against the cushions of her bed. This it was going to be a long conversation.

"And I thank you for it" Sabrina said "What do you want to know?"

"Tell me how happened" Roz asked her.

Sabrina sighed again.

"Ok, this is going to be a long story…" she said smiling at the memories.

"I'm all ears" Sabrina could notice that the tone of voice of her friend was different. She didn't sound harsh as she did the last time. She took it as a good signal.

Sabrina told her everything. How she and Nick met in her first day at College, how they argued for the silliest of things.

She told her how the air became thick every time they were alone.

And how hard she tried to fight against the feelings he woke up on her.

She told her when she surrendered to what she was feeling, but also told her about the guilt she felt and why she decided to talk to Harvey when she did.

"So he is the reason why you and Harvey had that fight before Christmas?"

"It's not Nick's fault, Roz. It was me who gave the first step" Sabrina took a deep breath "In winter break I tried to be with Harvey but I couldn't forget Nick… Every time I closed my eyes I saw him"

"Are you sure about this ´Brina?" Sabrina smiled at the use of her nickname, it seemed like an eternity since she last call her that "I mean… I thought Harvey and you were meant to be"

"I thought the same Roz. But what I feel for Nick… it's different, so different from what I felt for Harvey"

"Do you love him?"

That was the question Sabrina hadn't dare to ask to answer yet. The deepness of her own feelings scared her a bit.

"I think I do, Roz…" she admitted.

"I don't want you to take it wrong, Sabrina, and you may not answer me if you don't want to but... Do you love him more than Harvey?"

Sabrina took a deep breath before answering

"It's not the same" Sabrina told her friend "I think I will always love Harvey, he was my first love and he is my friend but… maybe we weren't mean to be, maybe we were destined just to be each other first love, not our last love"

"And do you think Nick it is?"

Sabrina hesitated before answering her friend's question.

"I don't know, Roz…" she admitted "The only thing I'm certain right now it's that I want to be with Nick. He makes me feel like I never felt before… I can't even describe you how he made me feel"

"You do like him"

"I do" she admitted with a small smile on her lips.

Roz took a deep breath and remained silent for a few seconds. Sabrina waited for her.

"I'm sorry I talked to you like I did the other day, 'Brina. It wasn't my place to do so"

"It's fine, Roz. You were doing what you thought it was right"

"Still, I shouldn't have acted as I did. I should have listened to you before judging you"

"It's ok, really"

"Do you forgive me? After all the things I said?"

"You are my best friend, Roz, of course I forgive you"

After a few more minutes of conversation, they ended the call because Roz had classes to attend, they promised to continue talking the next day. Sabrina looked at her phone with a smile on her lips, she was happy that she and Roz were talking again.

She had missed her best friend.

Sabrina held up the paper bag she was carrying when Ambrose opened his apartment door.

"Hi" she said to him with a shy smile on her lips. Her cousin just blinked.

"Well, well, this is a surprise" he said not without a certain irony after some seconds of silence.

Sabrina narrowed her eyes at him.

"I thought we could have breakfast together, but if you don't want to..." she shrugged one of her shoulders slightly and tried to turn around but Ambrose stopped her.

"Oh, c'mon, cousin, I'm teasing you, of course I want to have breakfast with you… Please come in"

He stepped aside to let her pass, Sabrina went straight to the kitchen and put the bag and the coffees she was carrying in the counter while she waited for Ambrose. He came in some minutes later.

"Don't misunderstand me, cousin" he said while taking a sit "but to what do I owe the honor of your presence in my humble residence this morning?"

Sabrina shrugged again.

"We haven't spent much time together lately and I thought we could have breakfast together, like we used to do in my first days here"

Ambrose smiled at her.

"Well, I'm glad you finally made some time for me, 'cous"

"Ambrose..." she said in a warning tone.

He said nothing and rearranged his position on one of the high stools, Ambrose reached for the paper bag she had brought to examine its contents.

"Cinnamon rolls. Umm..." he exclaimed.

"And a latte for you too" she said handing him the coffee cup "It's still warm"

"Thanks" Ambrose took one of the cinnamon rolls out of the bag and took a bite. A sound of pleasure left his lips after tasting the baked good.

They were both silent as Ambrose ate and Sabrina took a sip of her cup.

"And how have you been?" he asked "Since you and Nick are together and I've hardly seen you"

"Ambrose... We were together last Friday at Dorian's "

"Oh, but going for a drink at Dorian's it's not the same, cousin"

"Are you jealous, Ambrose?"

"Jealous? Me?" he laughed out loud "I'm not jealous, I'm just sad that now that you have an exciting new boyfriend you've forgotten about your old boring cousin Ambrose"

She rolled her eyes but had a smile on her lips.

"Don't be silly, Ambrose" she said.

"You know I'm teasing you, don't you?" she nodded because of course she knew "Well, how are things with this boyfriend of yours?"

"We're fine" she settled back on the stool, a smile spread on her red lips "I'm so happy, Ambrose"

He smiled at her.

"You look happy"

"I am" she took a bite of her own cinnamon roll "How are you, Ambrose?"

He stretched out his arms and put them behind his head.

"As good as ever, cousin"

"Always so mysterious"

"Ladies love mysterious men," he commented "and don't try to deny it"

"What do you mean?"

He just gave her a meaningful look.

"Wait, you mean… Nick?"

Ambrose shrugged his shoulders. Sabrina couldn't help but frown slightly.

"Scratch has always been somewhat reserved" he said "Although of course, I suppose things are different with you"

Sabrina hesitated. How much did she really know about Nick? She had already realized that he did not like to talk about himself, he always had a lot of questions for her, but very few answers when she asked about him.

But the other day, he had open up a little. And she was grateful for that.

"Sabrina?" Ambrose asked her.

She lightly shook her head.

"Sorry, I was thinking" she took another sip at her cup. Ambrose gave her a look to indicate her to elaborate more "we talked the other day" she told him "but I think he needs time, to open up more"

Many things happened today:
Nick open up a little with Sabrina and now we have a brief idea of his past.
Roz and Sabrina are on good terms again.
And I really missed those conversations between the Spellman cousins.

Until next week !