Epilogue:

Hey, you know they're all the same.

You know you're doin' better on your own, so don't buy in.

Live right now, just be yourself.

It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time

Little girl you're in the middle of the ride,

Everything, everything will be just fine.

Everything, everything will be alright.

"How are you feeling?" Kanaya asks me as she runs a curling iron through my hair.
"Really nervous."
"Oh, please. I'm sure you'll be fine. And with an outfit like this, who needs nerves?" Kanaya unplugs the iron. "Now hold still. This lip gloss was expensive."

Alan pokes his head through the door. "What are you doing?"
I can't answer, because I'm not going to piss off the person making me look good, so Kanaya address my little brother for me. "We're working on her makeup!"
Alan makes a face. "Makeup is so gross! Girls are so stupid for liking it."

Kanaya waves the wand in his face. "Makeup is not just for girls. Makeup helps to enhance natural beauty. In the case of a mug like yours, I'd just use it to cover your entire face."

Alan looks appropriately horrified and runs off, probably to go blab to Mom about how I turned my stylist against him. But given the way he's been acting in the past six months, it's about time that someone finally put him in his place.

"And we're done!" Kanaya claps her hands together and beams. "Oh, you look wonderful! Come see!"

She's given me a simple fluffy light grey coat over a long black dress with thin sleeves. My leggings look like they're almost the same colour as my skin and Kanaya has provided some brown cowboy boots for me to wear. I hope I don't get them too dirty.

"That's a lot of brown and grey."
"Perfect colour scheme for District 10. But I promise, I will make you some more colourful outfits as we go along." Kanaya glances around the living room. "Oh my, that's a lovely piano. Is it yours?"

"Yeah. I need to have a talent, so I took up music." I shrug, careful not to slip my coat off. "I'm not really good at it, though."
"Well, all you need is practice." Kanaya holds her wrist up to her face, checking the time on her silver watch. "We're running late! We've got get you outside right now!"

It's the first day of the Victory Tour, where I'll be filmed saying my goodbyes to my district. Funny to think how the Tour will be longer than my actual Games, but hopefully, not as painful. Just two weeks, and I'll be back home. Plus, I'll get to see all the other districts for the first time, not just clips shown during televised events.

I'm a little nervous; I really don't like having cameras on me.

Kanaya leads me outside, where I can see a crew of cameras already set up. There's a few people waiting for me: my family (who they must've been interviewing), Cheyenne, Rhiannon, and the rest of my prep team. I can also see a crowd of people gathered at the gates of Victors Village. Nobody dares to push them open, especially with all the Peacekeepers around.

Someone shoves a microphone into my face. "And there she is, our lovely latest Victor! Are you ready for your Tour, Miss Kingsley? What are you most excited for? We must know!"
"Um...seeing all the other districts, I guess! I can't wait to visit them!"

"Wonderful answer! Now everybody back, off! Give your dear Victor some space!"

I manage to quickly wave to my parents as the camera crew marches me towards the train station. The crowd follows, eager to see me off. I bite my lip; Kanaya's lip gloss tastes just like caramel. When was the last time I had so many people watching my every move? Honestly, I don't miss the feeling at all.

"Hey VR! Wait up!" Linus shoves through the crowd, getting some dirty looks for everyone whose arm he just bumped into. He bends over, panting heavily. Sadie is close behind.
"Linus? What are you doing? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Good luck out there!"

Sadie flashes me an evil grin as she punches Linus in the shoulder. I give him one last wave, before someone pushes me onto the train and the doors slam shut. For a second, it's like it's the Reaping all over again...

The last 6 months feel like a blur. All the therapy I had, all the healing I did...it's like it's been thrown out the window. I thought I could move on and for a moment, I did. The idea of having to face my Games once I've finally started to escape them...it's a sick joke. I can't escape the dread, the guilt...

I let all these kids die so I could go to their homes and give a speech where I pretend I care.

"Are you ready?" Rhiannon trills. She's wearing a thick black coat with a ring of fur around her neck. "Oh, I'm so excited!"

"I'm nervous, " I admit. "I don't want to go to District 2."

Cheyenne gives me a sympathetic stare. But since it's coming from Cheyenne, it looks more like a demented grin. "Oh please. It's been seven years and 4 still hates my guts. I guess I did deserve it. But the other districts aren't gonna be like that. Trust me, 2 isn't gonna give a rat's ass about you."

Rhiannon scowls. "Cheyenne! That's an awfully rude thing to say!"
"What? It's the truth!"

"That's fine." I can't help but smile a little. "I don't want 2 to give a rat's ass about me anyways."

"That's the spirit." Cheyenne snaps her fingers. "Anyways, let's take it easy for today. Because the shitshow's gonna be in full swing starting tomorrow."

We start off in District 12.

It's not exactly easy, but it seems that I'll be let off the hook a little because I did technically avenge one of their tributes. The atmosphere here is somber and quiet. Almost as if everyone is too exhausted to really do anything. Snow begins to gently fall on top of everything.

The two families are expressionless and stand completely still, almost like the Peacekeepers on the steps of the Justice Building. On Maryann's pedestal, I catch a 16 year-old boy snarl at me before burying his face in his mother's arms.

District 12 has no Victors, only an assigned mentor from the Capitol, who didn't even bother showing up today. But their old escort shakes my hand once I'm back in the Justice Building after giving a very scripted speech. His name is Dimitri and he claims he's going to make sure he gets a tribute home before he dies. I just watch the way he taps his cane on the floor in a slow steady beat.

This isn't a pleasant sight.

This is hard.

This is one of eleven districts whose chance of victory I stole.

What is the rest of the tour going to be like?

Rhiannon just smiles and throws her arm around my shoulder; oh yeah, we're matching today. Big poofy black dresses and clunky platform heels that are doing their jobs of keeping us warm in all this wind and snow. Thanks Kanaya.

Anyways Rhiannon and Dimitri are chatting it up. Probably escort talk. Rhiannon just continues to squeeze me even tighter. "I'm so proud of this girl! She's been taking this Victor thing amazingly well! Even better than Cheyenne!"

I hear a faint shout from across the hall as Rhiannon winks at me and I can't resist holding back my snickers.

Next up is District 11.

Basil's pedestal looks so sad; he's only got a middle-aged man and an older woman standing on it, which I'm assuming to be his father and grandmother. Jane's parents are hard to read, standing with stony faces in a front of a large screen with her smirking face on it.

Honestly, I never thought that I'd miss hanging out with such a sassy 12 year-old.

I want to crumple up my speech in my hands. It just feels so fake. And it's not doing justice to anything. Part of me also wants to break down, to fall to my knees crying and beg Jane for her forgiveness, wherever she may be right now. There's a small commotion as someone pushes through the crowd and I hear a Peacekeeper cock their gun.

I don't dare to deviate from the script after that.

District has a single Victor, who actually won a few years ago. And Jacob Fuji doesn't seem too bothered by everything, surprisingly. I try muttering a few condolences, but he just shrugs it off. "Eh, what can you do anyways? They were both young."

"Yeah, but I still feel really bad."
"There wasn't a lot I could've helped with anyways. Sucks sometimes. Hey, there's always next year. By the way, loving the outfit."

I tug at the frilly ends of the dark red sundress, as Kanaya calls it. Beside Jacob, the District 11 escort giggles hysterically, fanning his face. Weird. And from what I can tell, Rhiannon and Cheyenne don't seem too fond of him either.

No wonder Basil and Jane had no chance. Their mentor had given up on them a long time ago. Before he even got to meet them at the Reaping.

District 9 is a little easier to bear.

I didn't really know much about the tributes, which makes me a little shameful to admit. Both of their pedestals are pretty crowded with what I'm guessing has to be extended family. Magaz's pedestal has three children running around, constantly being shushed by the older adults.

Like 11, there's only a single Victor for this district. I remember seeing Rosie Pascel's Games once or twice when I was really little, but I don't exactly recall the specific details. But they are a legend of sorts, having won the 2nd Games at the age of 15.

And right now, they're pulling a flask and a fancy goblet from their purse, emptying some of the flask into the cup. I just watch, but I have a feeling I'm not exactly supposed to be seeing this. The rest of my team is off somewhere, after the District 9 escort, who introduced herself as Fontana, insisted on giving everyone a Justice Building tour so the two Victors could have some "alone time" and whatnot.

I kinda wish I had an adult with me right now.

Rosie lets out a loud hiccup, clumsily screwing the lid back on the flask. I dust off my clothes and that's when they finally look up at me. "Oh hey, didn't notice you. Want a sip?"

"Um...I'm 15."
"Your point is? Is that a yes or no?"
"I...no. No, I'm good."

"Suit yourself." Rosie tucks the flask back into their purse. "If you want me to congratulate you or whatever, you're looking for the wrong person. All I can say is welcome to hell. Some days, you're gonna wish that girl from 2 slit your throat back in the arena."

"I don't like thinking about that."
"And I don't like thinking about how I've spent almost two decades of my life watching children die before I could do something to save them. But what can we do about it?"

Now would be a good time to move on with the rest of the Tour.

In District 8, there's a heavy layer of smog in the air, which makes me feel even colder, despite all the wind.

Damask has a single person standing on his pedestal who looks so much like him, I'm practically seeing double. Ellie, on the other hand, has both parents and two siblings. Her sister looks like she could be the same age as me. We lock eyes and she just gives me a little shrug of sorts. I nod in response.

I'm not gonna make any excuses and she seems to appreciate it.

I already know I let her sister down.

Unlike the past districts, the atmosphere in the Justice Building is a little less tense, with both of 8's Victors trying to lighten the mood. After hearing about my time with Rosie, Ciera Harbington decides to pull me aside for a little pep talk. "Look, some of the others have already given up, but you can't do that. Or you'll never succeed."

"Or I can wait for one of my tributes to get a lucky break. Like me."
"Well...I suppose you could. But the odds of that happening again are-"

There's a loud shriek from Rhiannon, who suddenly jumps up from her armchair. Beside her is 8's other Victor, Maurice Merridew, who gives her a small, sheepish grin. His sleeves hang loosely off his arms, and two prosthetic hands lie at his feet. No way they just fell out as an accident.

"Did he do that on-"
Ciera groans. "I thought I told him to be on his best behaviour. Maurice!"
"What!? I didn't even do anything! Can nobody around here take a joke?" He waves his sleeves in my direction. "Oh, hey Kingsley! Look, we're matching!"

I wiggle my fake fingers at Maurice, then flip him the bird. He just bursts into laughter as Rhiannon shoots him a well deserved, but slightly nasty, glare. At least some of us are having fun right now. I don't know how many more depressed Victor meetups I can take.

Unlike before, where everything has been rather solemn, District 7 is a little pissed.

Who can blame them? They had two tributes in the Top 8! But the only thing I have going for me is that they're just upset in general, not because I did anything. I barely knew Sitka and I wasn't about to mess with Tyrone, the only guy in the arena carrying a blowgun.

Sitka's parents are openly sobbing as her younger sister just keeps staring at the ground. Tyrone's got his mother and what I'm guessing are his three older brothers, all of them looking ready to beat someone up. Good thing I'm here and they're over there.

Only one of 7's Victors has shown up today; nobody else knows where Ivy is and they don't seem too worried about looking for her. Her protege, Spruce, just throws an arm around me, very careful to watch my shoulder. He reminds me of Royal, but less of an ass. Apparently, he and his mentor don't get along.

"Just saying, the anti-District 2 Club is always looking for new members."
I tug awkwardly at my scarf. "I think I'll pass."
"Bo-ring."
"Sorry."

"Eh, whatever." Spruce pretends to be really interested in his nails. "Just a joke. You can't take a joke?"
"I didn't even realize you were joking."
"You know VR, I'm starting to think you and I will be good friends. Eh, VR? I can call you VR, right?"

I must've grimaced or something because he suddenly slaps me on the back and laughs. "Hey relax! It's just a joke!"

"Right...you're joking..." I giggle nervously. I excuse myself so I can go find Ivy and hide from Spruce with her.

I've been dreading this moment ever since the train left my house in Victor's Village. I knew I couldn't prolong this forever, and despite how much convinced myself I was physically ready to handle this, I'd never be ready enough.

District 6 is its own special kind of painful.

The entire time, I can't even look over at Ethan's family. I spend the whole speech watching Abril's pedestal instead where her older brother holds a new born in his arms, standing off to the side and away from her parents. The sight makes me queasy to even think about.

The words I'm saying feel absolutely fake. I want to cry. But I can't. Will it matter? The nation's already seen me have a mental breakdown on live television. What would Ethan think, knowing that the best I can do for him is a simple, scripted speech?

Being inside the Justice Building also feels really depressing.

District 6's assigned Capitol mentor, Gardenia Hopkins, barely even acknowledges me. Her daughter, who also happens to be the escort, hands me a small cup of sweet smelling tea and we chat for a bit. She doesn't want to leave her mother alone, at least not until 6 finally gets a Victor of their own.

At this point, the idea of mentoring has felt like a dream and I never even realized that I'll have to do it next Games. But this Tour has really driven the point home. I might end up like all these Victors, escorts, and mentors. Failing over and over again as a tribute who is not theirs parades all over the place.

The Tour practically rubs it in their faces.

I'm scared," I whisper to Rhiannon once we're back on the train. "I don't know if I'm ready to mentor."
"I don't think you have to worry, hun. You still have time."

Cheyenne glares in her direction. I excuse myself to go change. This is one of those topics that my escort doesn't understand and my mentor doesn't want to help me understand.

The air of District 5 is pretty gloomy and smoggy and the factories contribute a ton of background noise, but I suppose things could be worse. Too bad it's not thick enough to cover to accusing faces of Flynn and Karen staring me down. The fact that Karen's mother is holding a baby in her arms doesn't help either. Flynn's sister flips the bird at me, the girl indirectly responsible for her brother's death.

I got through the previous district, right? I can get through this.

Back in the Justice Building, District 5's grumpy old escort forces their sole Victor, Rufus LaFone, to at least acknowledge my existence. He mutters something under his breath that I don't really catch, then plops himself down in the nearest chair.

I hesitate a bit before moving a little closer. "Um...sorry, I didn't hear what you said."
"I didn't say shit. Just congratu-fucking-lations. Now leave me alone."

I catch a faint whiff of alcohol on his breath. I've never been fond of the smell.

"Hey kid, you really that deaf? Leave me alone! Don't go outside either. Since you're the only one left, 5's gonna take it out on you. All that shit with Flynn was technically your fault."

I spend about fifteen or so minutes wandering about the Justice Building by myself until Cheyenne grabs my hand and pulls me back to the train station. She's been bitter ever since the whole mentoring conversation came up. We don't speak or look each other in the eyes. Or at least she doesn't.

Great. Now she's pissed off too. And she won't even tell me why.

In District 4, the setup is a little different, with one large platform that's been built for the families of Quincy and Anthony. There's a very clear divide with everyone standing off either to the left or right. Clearly, grief did not bring them together.

I read through the speech as fast as I can. Unlike every other script I've been given, this one does the tributes more justice than I ever could. Because I have some very choice words I'd like to say that make me hope nobody in the crowd is holding a spear for whatever reason.

Just read what is written, VR. You've made it this far without fucking that up.

This District is also home to the first ever Hunger Games Victor, Spinnaker Tore. It feels a little intimidating shaking his hand, but he gives me a warm welcome and I can tell that if he's mad, he's doing a good job of hiding it. But he's probably seen a lot of tributes fail to come home over the years.

I wonder how that must feel. Then I decided I don't want to know.

Their escort, Melodie, holds her swollen stomach and lingers by the side of the other Victor, Dane Gustav, who's way too busy bickering with Cheyenne. I look up at Spinnaker (oh my God, he's so tall) for some confirmation and he gives me a nod. I guess Victor-escort relationships are a thing after all. I thought they'd be considered taboo.

"Cheyenne!" Dane blows her a kiss. "Can't believe you'd actually show up again, ya filthy cheater!"
"And miss a chance a meet up with my favourite, favourite Victor?" Cheyenne winks at Melodie. "You've been busy, I see!"
"Cattle-killing bitch."
"Seadwelling asshole."

"Just ignore them," Spinnaker sighs. I flash him a silent thumbs up. Good advice.

Just like so many past destinations, District 3 is extremely somber and silent. Delta has some family mourning for her, but Gayle's is completely empty. Does he not have anyone? Did they not show up? Honestly, I don't know how to react or what to say. I just feel numb to it all.

I can't imagine not having someone there for me.

In the Justice Building, Rhiannon and I go looking for the Victors when someone shoves the Peacekeepers out of his way and grab my shoulder. It doesn't really hurt anymore, but I still flinch, especially when I notice that it's Gayle's boyfriend standing behind me.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. Please don't punch me or anything.
"That doesn't bring him back," he hisses before the Peacekeepers drag him back outside.

Ira Evans is really nice. I spend about an hour listening to them talk about aircraft. Evenlyn Quoax spends the whole time sulking in the corner, but she occasionally chimes in with some conversation. Before it's time to leave, she tells me that she loves to bake and promises she'll send me some recipes.

On the train, I flip through the TV channels, looking for something good to watch before bed. Cheyenne just sits across from me with a cup of coffee and sips from it quietly. "Deacon and River."
"Huh? Who's that?"

"Their names were Deacon and River. He was 17, she was 14. Both of them loved the colour blue. He always wanted a pet dog and she went birdwatching with her mother every weekend. They made to the top eight, then got ambushed by an asshole from 4. She was lucky; she died quickly. He had his limbs slowly sliced off and ended up bleeding out. I had my eyes shut the whole time."

I try to remember the District 10 tributes from the 14th Games, but I just can't. That feels so long ago. I just stare down at my feet, because my socks seem really interesting now. Cheyenne probably notices. This has to be really hard for her.

"You never forget the first tribute you mentored."
"Ever?"
"Ever."

Here comes the day I've been dreading this whole time.

On one hand, it's pretty obvious that Troy meant a lot to me. But how can I look Cindra's family in the eyes after everything that happened?

Up on the pedestals, her parents, grandmother, and little brother all have completely neutral faces. I can't blame them for not being happy. But, I don't think they're mourning her either. They don't care. She's not a Victor. She's dead to this world and dead to them too.

I glance over their heads at Cindra's steel eyes and all I can do is pity her. No wonder she turned out the way she did. No wonder she was willing kill everyone in the way of her and victory.

I continue on with my speech, which is a lot kinder to Cindra and colder to Troy than I realize, forcing myself to not speed up. I try and keep my voice calm, eyes on thee paper, blinking back tears. I'm not going to break down, not in front of a district that hates my guts. Don't cry don't cry don't cry-

"YOU JERK!"

Shit! I've lost my spot on the script. Whee the hell did I drop off from-

"LOOK AT ME!" Troy's sister screams and I faintly hear her parents try and shush her. "I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH! I HOPE SOMEONE RIPS ALL YOUR ORGANS OUT AND STRANGLES YOU WITH THEM! YOU...YOU JERK! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

I quickly find where I left off and continue with the speech. The crowd continues to mumble as I finish off and the Peacekeepers force me inside.

Sometimes districts have no Victor, some have two. This District has four. Aramon Devoulvier and Joan Tuscemore won back-to-back, started up the Career Academy, then got married. There's Roman Michael, who was Troy's mentor and has made it pretty obvious he doesn't think very highly of me. And Augustine Marcius, who won two years before me, and decides to stay out of the conversation by stuffing his face with the food laid out in another room.

Roman sneers at me. "Don't get so full of yourself. Pure dumb luck, that's all it was."
"I know." I tuck my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "I'm not stupid."
"Is that so? I wouldn't call blindly trusting the girl who stabbed you a smart move."

God, I want to punch him so bad. "You know what, I don't care! I fought to get out of there like you did!"
"Fighting, my ass! You didn't even try!"

"Roman!" Aramon snaps as I throw my hands up in the air, then run off before I actually snap and try to beat somebody up. The first room I find is the one with all the snacks. Augustine just looks up at me. For a moment, we both just stare at each other; despite winning very close to each other, he's several years older than me. Finally, he holds out a toothpick with an orange square on it.

"Want a cheese cube?"

There's a huge sense of relief washing over me when the train pulls into District 1. Just this, then a big party in the Capitol, and I can go back home.

Opal's pedestal has a single man with two other teenagers while Bartleby's parents just quietly hold each other. I scan the rest of the crowd and as expected, nobody seems to impressed to see me. Why not? I've made it very clear I didn't care for one of their tributes. I straight up shot her in an act of revenge.

It felt so good back then. It just seems rather pathetic now.

Guess who's waiting for me in the Justice Building. Good old Royal Bauer. "Ah, good to see you again, Kingsley! Welcome to our humble abode!"
"How long have you been waiting?"

"Long enough for me to go introduce my Victor buddy to everyone else." Royal grabs my good hand. "And here's our little clique. That's Mariette over there, she's kinda pissed at you. But she'll get over it. And here's my mentor, Ferriero! Ferriero, look over here! Say hi to Kingsley!"
"Did you just call me your Victor buddy?"

"Yep. Your Victor buddy is the person who won the Games after you. So I'm Augustine's buddy and you're mine."
"Is that even a thing?"
"It's my thing. Now we gotta wait six months to see who your Victor buddy will be, huh?"

I grimace, grabbing onto the end of the bright pink shirt Kanaya gave me this morning. "Yeah...not really in a hurry to see that..."

Royal bursts into laughter. "Alright, I'll make sure I tell the kids not to be too hard on yours. How does that sound?"
I just give him a quick thumbs-up. Yeah, jokes aside, not having any enemies might be a good idea. I just want to move on with the Tour already.

Once I'm finally back on the train, I collapse on the nearest couch. I just want to take a nap, only for a few minutes...

"What the hell is going on here-"
"Let her be, hun! We've still got a few hours before dinner."

Someone throws a blanket over me and my eyes flutter shut.

"Ow!"

"If you stopped moving so much, it wouldn't hurt," Kanaya insists, picking up the bobby pin she dropped on the floor. "It's not even that big."
"You poked me with it!"
"Hold still!" Kanaya brushes me off, then steps back. "There, see? That wasn't so hard?"

She's really outdone herself this time. The dress is strapless and a dark red with a mint green sash around my waist. My hair's been pinned up behind my back, revealing a gold necklace that resembles the crown I received shortly after making it out of the arena. A little bit of makeup covers the fading scars on my shoulder and a pair of green gloves lie on a nearby chair. I quickly slip them on. Thankfully, the fabric stops just above my knees.

"Ready to go?"
"I don't know." I slip on the gloves. "Parties make me nervous."
Kanaya places her hands on her hips. "You just haven't been to the right parties then."

To call this final stop of the Victory Tour a "party" is an understatement. Because it's so much more. There are so many faces here. A lot of food to eat too, a giant golden floor for dancing, large windows that have been opened up to let some air in...

Some of the Victors have shown up too, for whatever reason. I don't feel like talking to them. I just want a moment to myself.

I spend some time hanging out by the walls, until I find a way outside to a little rose garden. There's a small clearing where a couple of benches surround a marble fountain. I linger there for a bit, watching the water's small ripples travel to the edges of the fountain. A small gust of cool wind blows by.

The past few days have been very overwhelming, physically and emotionally. All I want is just a few minutes to relax, alone.

"Hey. Mind if I sit here?"
I shake my head, before realizing Cheyenne can't see me. "No. It's fine."

"Good." She lets out a loud huff. I notice that her dress is really similar to mine in terms of colour. "Some Capitolites can be such assholes at times! How are you holding up?"
"I'm just glad it's almost over."
"Fair enough. Not like I expected anything else."

The fountain shoots a small jet of water into the air. A strand of loose hair falls down the side of my face. I tuck it away. "Is mentoring scary?"
"Not as scary as being the mentee."
"But...you've done it for a few years and you've only succeeded once. Me. Doesn't that...well...scare you?"

"No." Cheyenne shakes her head. "I'm one of the lucky ones I guess. You got guys like Rufus and Rosie who've been doing it for longer and...it wears you down. And that's why every Victor you meet is actually a giant douchebag, because it numbs you."

Oh. That explains a lot actually. "Ciera wasn't a douchebag. Augustine was pretty nice too."
"Yeah, they just want to seem normal to you because you're the newbie. I can't believe you like that guy just because he gave you some cheese."
"Everyone else in 2 was a jerk!"

"That's Career districts for ya." Cheyenne leans back a little, suddenly straightening up before she can fall into the hedges. "But maybe they're on to something. If you groom kids for this kinda thing and convince them to volunteer, you can spare the ones that don't want to go. They kill everyone, win, cycle beings again."
"I guess I see the point. Still disgusting though."

Cheyenne rolls her eyes and I laugh. "We really shouldn't be saying this."
"You know what, I don't care. I think I've had at least four glasses of champagne already. That's some good shit. You should try some."
"Cheyenne, I'm a teenager. Should you really be encouraging that?"

"Okay, fine, little Miss Teetotaler. Enjoy your night."

I fumble with my gloves a bit before finally ripping them off; my hands need a chance to breathe. I've more or less gotten used to the prosthetic fingers by now, although sometimes I stare down at them and just feel...I don't know...sad? Nostalgic? I can't really explain. It's not something you can into words. You just have to feel it.

It's like having a scar that will never fade away.

But, they're more of a reminder, if anything. I fought for my right to have them replaced; nobody would've bothered to care if I didn't live. And I guess it's pretty cool too. I'm thinking of getting them replaced with some more colourful ones instead.

I spend a few more minutes just watching the fountain in the sky, listening to the party chatter in the background. I can't stay here forever, though. Finally, I head back inside.

"What are you going to do now?"
I just shrug. "I don't have any big plans. Is that a bad thing?"

"No. No it isn't."
"I just wanna carry on with life. I have time to sort it all out, right? I mean, I'm not even 16 yet."

"Oh right," Troy muses. "Wow, I just noticed I don't even know when your birthday is."
"May 1st. Give it a few months."

"Cool." He sits across from me, legs folded. "How was the Tour?"
"How do you think it was?"
"Did you meet my sister?"

"Yeah," I say quietly. Troy doesn't respond. Because I don't really know how he would respond. He's a figment of my imagination. I dream of him when I feel alone, broken, and I just need someone to talk to when there's nobody else who will understand.

It's selfish. But it works.

Troy opens his mouth to say something and that's when the world starts to shake. I open up my eyes to see Rhiannon standing over me. "Good morning, hun. Guess where we're going today?"
"Back home? For real?"
"Yep! Come have some breakfast."

I can hardly bring myself to eat. I just want off this train. Cheyenne watches me as she pretends to be interested in a fashion magazine she's holding. Rhiannon is always smiling every time I look at her. I realize I won't see her again for another six months.

When the announcement is made that we're only half an hour from District 10, I walk over to Rhiannon and give her a hug. "Thanks for everything."
"Don't worry about it, alright? Don't worry about it."

Sadie is the first person I see when the train doors finally open. She tackles me in a giant hug and we almost tumble off the platform together.

The first order of business is a quick memorial for Whyllis. I notice that their bandmates are here, but their family didn't show up at all. I keep my distance and let everyone say their goodbyes. A few drumsticks are placed in a small pile, which will later be carried over to their grave.

Then the celebrations begin.

I meet up with Linus, Sadie, and the rest of our little group. We have a blast dancing to the music, cracking jokes, and running all over the place, looking for gold old District 10 grub to eat. Linus drags me to his family's stall, where he brags that they sell the best cupcakes in the entirety of Panem.

He's right. I eat three of them, just to be sure.

After people start requesting for some slower songs, Linus asks me to dance to one. "You know, for fun!"
"Hey, why not?"
"Alright, cool! So how do we..."

I just hold out my hands and he grabs them. As it turns out, neither of us knows how to dance. We just spin around a bit, giggling as I try to avoid stepping on his toes. The song probably only lasts a few minutes, but it feels a bit too short for me. As another song starts playing, Linus's parents approach us and ask him to go grab a few things from the restaurant.

I point towards some of the other stalls. "Take your time. I'm just gonna go get something to eat and look for everyone else. See ya later!"
"You too, VR!" Linus gives me a funny salute, then runs off.

I wander around a bit until I run into Dr. Kristen. It's pretty funny seeing him in casual wear. But he's respectful as always. "Hello, Vera-Ryanna! What are you up to?"
"Hi Dr. Kristen. I'm just looking for my friends."
"That's good to hear. I wish you luck; there are quite a few teenagers on the loose tonight."

I chuckled. "Yeah, that would be them. By the way, have you tried the cupcakes from the Sang Eatery? They're really good!"
"I guess I'll have to check them out. Take care of yourself, alright?"

I'm glad I chose to stick with that guy. He's been really helpful.

After buying a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches (which I insist on paying full price for, despite the vendor insisting on a so-called Victor's discount), I head off towards the pond Sadie and I like to chill next to. Sure enough, she's already there, pacing back and forth.

"Hey. Where is everyone?"
"Max went to the bathroom, and Beau's getting everyone some snacks. Did you know they have cotton candy?"
"Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah!" Sadie's eyes sparkle at the mention of all that sticky sugar. "But of course everyone wants some so I got bored of waiting in line. But Beau's there, so it's fine. He'll get it for us. And I have no clue where Linus went though."
"Oh, he had to go get some stuff for his parents. Did you try their cupcakes, by the way?"

"I think I had one. You like them?"
"Yeah, they're amazing! One of the Victors from 3 is sending over some baking recipes, so I think I'll give them to Linus."

Sadie gives me a funny look. "Oh? Do you like him?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean!" She swipes one of the sandwiches away.

I shrug. "Well, duh! We're friends! Why wouldn't we be friends if we didn't get along?"
"No, not like that! Are you doing this on purpose?"
"No, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Have you guys kissed yet?"

"I-" What? Sadie pokes my cheek and I can feel my face getting all flushed. "What kind of question is that?"
"So...is that a no?"
"Why can't a girl and a guy hang out without people feeling the need to question their status? We're friends and that's it!"

"Ooooh!" Sadie gasps. "You and Linus Sang are totally a thing!"
"Are not!"
"Are to!"
"Sadie, shut up!"

"Oh relax, VR. I was just joking!"
I break one of the sandwiches apart, leaving a large gooey cheese trail in between. "Well, it's none of your business."
"You two would be really cute, you know."

I roll my eyes and try not to blush as Sadie goes on. "Vera-Ryanna Sang! how cool does that sound? Or maybe he'll take your last name instead?"
"I swear to God, I'm gonna shove you into the pond."
"You wouldn't dare to ruin a perfectly good grilled cheese sandwich, would you?"

Thankfully, Beau's shown up right about now with all the hot pink cotton candy that Sadie has been craving. I can see Linus coming up the road behind him, hands in his pockets. "Hey VR! Oh, I didn't realize you already got some food."
"Well, no reason we can't have both, right?"
"True, true." Beau holds the cotton candy up in the air, where Sadie can't reach. "Next time, Sadie, I'm making you get your own!"

"Who wants more cupcakes?" Linus asks, holding up a tray.
Sadie grabs my hand and raises it up. "We do, we do!"
"Guys, we should wait for Max first," Beau sighs.
"Pssssssh." Sadie waves her hand. "Nah, ya snooze, you lose. And pass the candy, will ya?"

Slowly but surely, the sky grows dark. I realize that I've left everyone else behind to come here to the pond instead. And I don't care. I'd much rather hang out with my friends, my real friends, who accept me for who I am and aren't afraid to show it. Sure, things have been rocky once or twice and I still wake up at night screaming about tributes with knives and swords.

I've been through worse, after all.

Through the rainbows that shine over my head on the good days, and the storms that threaten to wreck me on the bad ones, I'll still be here after it all. I'll laugh if I want to and cry if I need to.

I will prevail.

And we've done it! We've finally reached the end of VR's epic journey! I will admit, when I first started this story, I was worried I wouldn't even get to the training stage. But I've received so much support since I started this only a few months ago, that I just kept writing and writing and even started planning a sequel! Crazy to think I've gotten so far in such a short time!

Thank you to everyone who gave this story a read or submitted a tribute. It's so exciting to reach the end of yet another SYOT, especially when you can share it with others! And as we all knows, VR's tale is not done and will continue in my upcoming SYOT:

Hearts of Glass and Gold

The first prologue is also up, so fill free to check it out! And now, it's time I say goodbye to Rainbows and Storms as we move on to HGG instead. Thanks for reading!

-Vr