A/N

Hi guys, let me know what you think about the latest developments, and if there are particular things you'd like to see happen.

Chapter 19

I pull Lee towards the visiting rooms, I know Diane is already sitting in there waiting for him. Both of them disgust me, but especially Lee. I'll never forget what happened the last time he was in here, what he did….. He's a fucking animal. But it's not only that, it's also what he did to Alex, I don't know how anyone could do that to a kid. Things have been bad between me and Alex for a while, but I never treated her the way Lee did, never. And Diane, fuck, she's a pathetic excuse for a mother. But she always goes running back to Lee, she can't help herself.

We walk into the visiting room and Lee walks towards the table where Diane is sitting. I stand close enough to make sure I can hear everything they're saying. She has no idea who I am anyway, and I want Lee to know that he can't hide anything from me in here.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Lee finally walks into the room and sits across from me, he says something but I don't even hear him.

"Diane, are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm listening."

"How are you?

"Fine…."

Why the fuck am I here….

"Aren't you gonna ask how I am?"

I look over at him, and I realise I don't care how he's feeling, all I can think about is how much I've hurt Alex by being here. But my silence doesn't seem to bother him, it never did, he keeps talking.

"I need money."

I should never have come here…

"I don't have any money, Lee. You know I don't have anything."

He smirks, "You always knew how to make some quick money when we needed it."

"I don't do that anymore."

Now he leans across the table, "Since when?"

"Since I'm trying to get back into Alex's life."

He leans back in his chair, no more smirk on his face, "Alex is a big girl now, she's all grown up, she doesn't need a mother."

I try to blink away the tears, I will not let him see me cry, "You don't know anything about her, you never gave her a chance."

"I fucking told you I never wanted a kid, I told you to get rid of it! You're the one that wanted to keep her, she was never my responsibility."

Now I close my eyes without even realising. He always does this, he always tries to make everything my fault, but it's not all my fault, it's not. I open my eyes to see one of the guards stepping closer to us, I just want to get up and leave.

"How can you say that? She's your daughter, she's our daughter. And we both completely fucked up her life. Don't you care at all?"

"Look, I didn't ask you here to talk about Alex, I asked you here because I need help. I owe money Diane, get it? And I need you to get it for me. Didn't I always get you what you wanted? Huh?"

Now it's my turn to laugh, "Sure Lee, anytime I wanted a hit, you were there."

"I let you live in my house for over 10 years, I let you keep Alex. So the way I see it, you owe me. I'm not asking for much, just $5,000."

"Fuck Lee! I don't have that kind of money and you know it. I just got out of rehab, I can't fuck up again. They let me out early. If I get caught breaking the law they'll never let me see Alex again."

He doesn't bother to try hiding his anger this time, and he stands up. He's trying to scare me, but I still can't work out why it's so hard to say no to him.

"Give me a break Diane! You will never be able to stay clean! And Alex will never want you as a mother! She'll never want either of us!"

It's only a few seconds before the closest guard grabs Lee and pulls him away. I keep sitting there, wishing I'd never agreed to come here.

0-0-0-0-0-0

I knew it would end like that, Lee is a fucking animal. I shove him out of the visitors lounge and towards the solitary cells.

"You can't put me in solitary for raising my voice in a visit!"

I tighten my grip on him, "I thought you would've learnt by now, I can do whatever the fuck I want."

There it is, that fucking laugh of his, part of me still wants to kill him, "And I thought you would've learnt what can happen to fags in here, or have you forgotten?"

It takes all of 5 seconds for me to slam my fist into his face and throw him into an empty cell.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Alex, come sit with me."

I hear Irene's voice as soon as I walk into the house, she sounds serious. I drop my bag in the hallway and walk into the kitchen. I sit across from her at the kitchen table and wait for her to say something.

She smiles, but she looks sad, I know this isn't going to be good news.

"Is it about Diane? Did something happen to her?"

"No, nothing like that, I haven't heard from her in over a week, but she should be out of rehab now, which is a good thing."

I keep looking down at my hands, "Then what's wrong."

"A lot happened at work today, the Department wants to trial Piper living with her parents again."

I shut my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief, more than anything I'm so happy Piper will get away from Desi. But then all the other thoughts start flying through my mind – will they send her back to her old school, will we still be allowed to see each other, will she forget about me?

"It's just for a couple weeks at first, I'll visit the house regularly to make sure everything is okay."

I look at her and nod, but I don't say anything. Now she looks really upset, she looks like she wants to cry. She takes a deep breath before she keeps talking.

"During Piper's trial back with her parents, my bosses want you to go back to Desi…"

For a moment I feel like my heart stops, I don't take my eyes off her, and now the tears are falling down her cheeks. She tries to wipe them all away as she keeps talking, but her voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm so sorry Alex. They won't let you stay with me anymore. My bosses… they just kept saying that you shouldn't have been staying with me in the first place. They think now that Desi doesn't need to look after any other kids, it's a good time for you to go back to him."

I press my eyes shut, I don't even know why, "What if Piper goes back to Desi after the trial?"

She shakes her head, "I can't see that happening."

I open my eyes, "So Piper will go back to her parents, and I go back to Desi….."

Irene gets up and walks around the table until she's sitting next to me, she hands me a phone, "Keep this with you all the time, don't let him see it. My number is in there, you need to call me if he ever does anything to you."

I take the phone and stare at it, now it's my turn to let the tears roll down my cheeks, "Please don't make me go back there."

She slips an arm around me and pulls me in close, "I'm so sorry sweetie, I tried really hard to stop this from happening. But I couldn't…. And that's why I need you to keep this phone. I don't care what time it is, I don't care what happens, call me if you don't feel safe and I will come straight over."

Now my tears are falling onto her shoulder, "But I never feel safe with him."

I know she has no control over the situation, I know my tears and my words are probably killing her, but I need to tell her the truth.

She pulls back and forces me to look at her, "You call me and text me every day, okay? Do you promise?"

I manage to nod, "I promise."

"If you ever feel like you're in danger, you need to call me. I'll be making plenty of visits to Desi's house too."

"Because your bosses asked you to?"

She shakes her head, "It doesn't matter why, I just need you to know that I care, and even if you're not living here I'll still be looking out for you all the time."

"Does Piper know?"

"Not yet, I'm going to Desi's tonight to tell her."

"Does Desi know?"

She looks at me slowly and nods, "Yeah, he knows."

0-0-0-0-0-0

Irene comes around before dinner, even Desi is home early. We're all sitting in the lounge room when she tells me I'm going back to my parents house for a trial period. I can't believe it, the fact that I can get away from Desi feels so good, but I can't help but worry about what will happen to Alex.

"I'm so happy for you Piper," Irene is smiling and I know she means everything she says.

"Your mum has been doing really well over the last couple of months. She's going to all the meetings, and she's getting along with your dad. The department felt like it was the right time for a trial."

I can't stop smiling, even Desi is being nice, "I'm really happy for you Piper, it's been great having you here."

"Thanks Desi," I keep it civil with him, but that doesn't mean I trust him.

I'm relieved when I hear Irene's voice again, "We've agreed with your parents to leave you at Litchfield High while the trial is on."

Now that is a massive relief, "Thank you so much Irene."

Now my main concern is talking to Alex, but it'll have to wait until school tomorrow. I don't want to risk Desi over hearing that conversation.

0-0-0-0-0-0

I practically run into school the next day and don't stop until I find Alex standing next to my locker.

"Hey Pipes."

She gives me a tired smile and a quick kiss before I pull her towards the library and find a table towards the back where it's more secluded.

She stretches her arms across the table where we're sitting and I take her hand, "Irene told me that you're going back to live with your folks. I'm so happy for you Pipes, I'm so fucking happy you're getting out of Desi's house."

I can't wait and lean across the table to kiss her, "I won't let them move me back to my old school, so we'll still get to see each other everyday. And it'll be easier for me to get permission to visit you and Irene once I'm away from Desi. He can't stop us from seeing each other anymore."

I can see she's struggling to keep the smile on her face, and now I'm worried, "What's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath, she's taking so long to answer me, "They're sending me back to Desi."

All I can hear now is a ringing in my ears, "What?"

There must be a mistake, they can't send her back there.

"Once you go back to your parents house, they're sending me back to live with Desi."

"No, no they can't do that. Are they fucking inane!"

I can feel how tightly I'm squeezing her hands now, but she doesn't move. She keeps looking at the table.

"Look, I shouldn't have been living with Irene in the first place. They only let that happen because there was no where else to send me. Apparently my reputation proceeds me."

She smiles, I know she's trying to make me feel better, but this isn't something I'm willing to joke about.

"Piper, deep down I knew I'd probably end up back there. It won't be like last time, the Department will be watching him like a hawk. Plus, Irene said she'd visit heaps."

I can't speak, I don't know what to do. I know it's not fair but I'm angry at Irene. I'm angry at her for not telling me this last night, and I'm angry at her for letting this happen at all. I know it's not fair, I know she doesn't have any control over what her bosses decide to do, but right now I need someone to blame.

Alex's voice pulls me back to reality again, "Pipes, listen to me. Irene gave me a phone, so I can call her straight away if anything happens. Plus, I figure you can call me, it's the perfect way for us to talk at night."

I still can't bring myself to say anything, but I keep listening to Alex's words.

"You've got a chance right now that most of us don't get. If your parents really can keep it together, you get out of the foster system."

I know she's right but it's really hard to care about that right now. We both stand up and hug, I squeeze her so tight, I don't know how she's staying so calm about this.

I feel her lips against my ear, "You're not allowed to freak out, just focus on making it work with your parents. I promise you that I'll behave myself, and everything will be okay. "

0-0-0-0-0-0

I watch Alex walk down the hallway to her first class of the day. But I don't head to my first class yet. I walk outside towards the parking lot, I need to talk to Irene. It rings for what feels like forever, but eventually I hear her voice.

"Hi Piper, everything okay?"

"Why didn't you tell me!"

I had planned on saying something a bit more sophisticated, but my anger just came out as soon as she answered.

" Piper, I didn't want to raise it in front of Desi. Plus, I knew Alex wanted to be the one to tell you."

I'm annoyed by the fact that her answer makes complete sense and her voice is nothing but patient. But I'm not done being angry.

"How can they think she's safe with him!"

"Piper, what if I come to school and get both of you. Then we can go somewhere for breakfast and talk. I promise I'll do my best to answer all your questions. But you need to remember that I'm not the enemy."

Now I feel like an asshole. We both hang up and I head straight for Mendoza's office.

0-0-0-0-0-0

I've barely been in class for 20 minutes before I get called to Mendoza's office, we don't have a session planned for today so I have no idea what's going on. I walk into her office and see Piper and Irene sitting there. I can guess what's going on, and in another 5 minutes we're all sitting in Irene's car.

I'm sitting in the back seat with Piper while Irene drives, "So, where are we going?"

We stop at a red light and Irene turns around, "I think the three of us need some time to talk, there's a lot of changes going on at the moment."

Piper stays silent until we're all sitting in a local cafe and Irene orders breakfast for us, "Irene, I'm really sorry about this morning."

"It's okay Piper, I know this isn't easy."

Now it's my turn to speak up, "Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell is going on?"

Piper grabs my hand under the table, "You can't go back to Desi."

There's nothing I can say to make her feel better, I don't even bother trying so I just sit there until Irene starts talking.

"We'll get through this together. I promise I will go to Desi's house every day after work, I won't let anything bad happen."

I squeeze Piper's hand, she's so anxious, but I still can't bring myself to say anything.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Everything has changed by the next week, Piper is back with her parents, and I'm moving back in with Desi. I find myself standing outside the front door with Irene, I grab her hand before I knock on the door. It's a really nice Saturday morning, and I keep telling myself the same thing over and over again, everything will be okay, it'll be fine, Irene will protect me, she'll protect me...

Before I can pull myself back to reality the door opens, and I see Desi standing in front of me. I haven't seen him since the night I ran away, and my heart is racing. I don't even realise I'm squeezing Irene's hand until I feel her pull me into the house, that fucking house. I let her lead me to the kitchen table, me and Irene sit on one side and Desi on the other. It's not long before he starts talking.

"Alex, it's really good to have you back. How are you?"

I force myself to look at him, "I'm okay."

I zone out while Irene talks to him about this transition, including all the visits she'll be doing to make sure everythings okay. I can tell he's trying to keep his cool, but he's not happy about having Irene here all the time checking up on him.

"Irene, you've known me for a long time. I know how hectic your schedule is, you don't need to overload youself by coming here everyday."

I look across at Irene, I can see she's giving him the best smile she can muster up, "Don't be silly, it's no problem at all. Besides, this is a trial, I need to make sure everything goes okay, especially after what happened last time."

Desi flashes his best fake smile, "Of course, I completely understand."

His phone starts ringing and breaks the tension, "Excuse me."

He takes the call in the other room, and I look to Irene with a smile, "That was pretty badass."

I can see the smile spreading across her face, but her words are deadly serious, "I'm not letting him control this situation anymore. I will be here every damn night to make sure you're okay, I don't give a shit how much he hates it."

0-0-0-0-0-0

Irene has gone home and I'm sitting in my old room, it feels so weird to be back here. I close my eyes and try to think about when I lived here with Piper, despite everything we had some really good times together here. I start unpacking my clothes when Desi comes in.

"Don't you fucking knock?"

He gives me such a cold stare and takes a few steps into the room, "This door stays open 24/7, understand?"

I don't say anything and keep unpacking, he takes a few more steps until he's sitting on the bed, "There's no reason things can't go back to the way they used to be."

I keep my mouth shut and keep focussing on unpacking.

"I saw your mum the other day."

Fuck

And just like that, he gets my attention, "What are you talking about?"

I can't tell if he's trying to upset me, it's so hard to tell, but he has a serious look on his face.

"She visited your dad."

"I don't give a shit," and that's the truth, I don't give a shit about what Diane does, and I don't want to hear about it.

He stares at me while I keep putting my stuff away, "He asked her for money."

This time I stop right in front of him, "I told you, I don't give a shit!"

He doesn't get angry, but he doesn't stop either, "I had to drag him off to solitary, he ended up screaming in her face."

I keep my voice down this time, "Why are you telling me this? I already told you, I don't care what she does or who she sees. I just wanna focus on finishing school and getting out of this shit hole town."

"Don't expect me to let her in this house, you shouldn't be seeing her, or your dad."

"How many different ways do I need to tell you this, I don't wanna see her or Lee."

He finally stands up, "That's good. Well, I'll let you finish unpacking, remember to leave the door open."

I sit down on my bed and breathe in and out slowly once he's gone. I try and push the thought of Diane and Lee together out of my mind, I can't think about that now. I can't be bothered thinking about how much her visiting him has hurt me. Plus the fact that she's asking him for money, she'll get tied up with his bulshit all over again. Then she'll forget about me all over again.