A/N: Today's featured character:
Professor Pyg: Lazlo Valentin aka Professor Pyg, an unstable man with an obsession with making people perfect. Unfortunately for his victims his definition of perfect involves a lot of mutilation and mind alteration. Pyg sometimes has a group of circus performers as his sidekicks called the Circus of Strange. Pyg and his henchman Mr. Toad appeared in the cartoon Beware the Batman and he also appeared by himself in Batman: Arkham Knight.
The thoughts going through Harley Quinn's head at the moment were incoherent and jumbled. One moment she was wondering what she'd have for dinner that night the next she was panicking about imminent death. Just a few minutes ago she'd been shot in the back twice by a c-list supervillain known as Hazard. They hadn't hit anywhere vital, at least she thought so. Fortunately for Harley her former best friend and current girlfriend Poison Ivy was there for her.
As soon as Harley was shot she took charge of the situation, incapacitating Hazard and her brother, the Gambler, and picking up Harley. She'd led her crew out of the building Harley was held in and to the parking lot where they had their vehicles. Ivy loaded Harley into the back of a modified ice cream truck and positioned her against a cooler. Mr. Freeze got behind the driver's seat and sped off while Selina, Mad Hatter, Magpie, the Ventriloquist and Calendar Man got into Selina's convertible and followed them.
There was also a new addition after they'd escaped, Humpty Dumpty. He was a rather large, bald man who used to work for the Great White Shark before being recruited by Hazard for her vendetta against Harley. He hated seeing people hurt and Ivy brought him with her in the hopes that he could somehow help the situation.
"Red… Can I have some ice cream?" Harley mumbled.
"Now's not the time, okay peanut?" Ivy tried to mask her panic by smiling to comfort her. "Maybe when you don't have two bullets in your back we can get some."
"That sounds nice…" Harley weakly nodded.
"Oh dear… What are we going to do?" Humpty Dumpty tilted his head, carefully observing Harley. "I hate seeing broken things."
"Can you help her at all?" Ivy turned her head to Humpty.
"I'm afraid not." Humpty Dumpty shook his head. "I do enjoy fixing things. But my track record for fixing people isn't very good. I tried it on my poor old granny and she never woke up when I was finished with her."
"I ain't lettin' fat boy over there operate on me." Harley shook her head.
"Well, we can't exactly pull up to a conventional hospital. We're all known criminals." Ivy sighed. She desperately looked around.
"Err, I may know someone." Humpty Dumpty spoke up. "He's been teaching me how to fix people and he's very good at it himself."
"You do?" Harley beamed at him with hope. "Hot diggity dog! I'm saved! Okay Humpty, go sit next to Mr. Freeze and tell him where to go."
"Oh right away Ms. Harley!" Humpty Dumpty nodded, her stepped past the both of them and held onto the wall as he made his way to the front seat.
Once he was gone Harley winced in pain again and sighed. "Do ya really think I'm gonna be okay, Red?"
"You will Harley, I love you too much to let you die." Ivy reached out and held Harley's hand.
"Aww that's so sweet… And kinda sappy. I didn't know you were so sentimental." Harley smiled a bit, trying to ignore the pain.
"I didn't think I could either." Ivy chuckled. "But here I am."
"Can I have some ice cream now…" Harley gently squeezed Ivy's hand.
"Alright, sure." Ivy nodded. "I'll see what I can find."
It was a rather boring night in the life of the Joker. Of course, the Joker didn't like to admit he was ever bored. He liked to give off the idea that he was having fun no matter what he did. But the truth was tonight he was bored. It had been about a week since he did anything too grand. No bank robberies, murders or kidnappings. Just him and his henchmen hanging out in an abandoned seaside amusement park.
So the Joker passed the time with one of his favourite hobbies, tormenting people. He had his right hand man, a diminutive fellow in a clown costume named Gaggy, hold up a dart board. Joker threw darts at Gaggy without caring whether or not he hit his new sidekick while he casually lounged on his living room couch.
"Gaggy… I'm bored…" Joker sighed, haphazardly tossing a dart at him. "What should we do tonight?"
"Gee, I dunno boss!" Gaggy flinched, the dart zipping by his head by mere inches. "We could rob a bank."
"Too cliche."
"A museum?"
"Maybe… Those always require more planning though."
"We could prank call the Commissioner!"
"Hmmm… Now you're getting somewhere." Joker smirked. "Oh, I know! We can make fun of his crippled daughter! Oh, or his dead wife! Or is that going too far?"
"Ain't you the one who did the daughter crippling and wife killing?" Gaggy raised an eyebrow.
"Oh I know, but there's no fun in joking about an easy target." Joker nodded, throwing another dart.
"I'm sure you'll think of something, boss!" Gaggy cheered, wincing when the dart hit the board dead centre. "You always know what to do."
"Thank you Gaggy, you're such a good little yes-man." Joker smirked at him. He reached for another dart but became distracted when another henchman of his, who he never bothered to remember the name of, ran into the room.
"Boss, boss! Ya gotta turn on the news!" The henchman yelled in a panic.
"Oh what could possibly be so important?" Joker sighed. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
"But boss, it's about you. One of the channels was already walking about it, maybe one of the others is a bit slow..." The henchmen slowed down and tried to catch his breath.
"Me, eh?" Joker chuckled. "Alright, you piqued my interest. Gaggy, put away the dart board."
"Sure thing!" Gaggy heaved a sigh of relief and put down the board.
Joker picked up his TV remote and pressed the power button. After flicking through the channels for a moment he came to the news report his henchman had been indicating. He saw Gotham City reporter Jack Ryder standing outside of a spa in front of a police barricade.
"Neighboring businesses made a call about noise complaints and local police discovered that this local spa was actually a front for a research lab run by infamous Gotham City criminal Jonathan Crane, alias the Scarecrow." Ryder reported. "Other criminals found on the scene were the duo Deever and Dumfree Tweed, known associates of Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter as well as a pair of out of town criminals known as Hazard and the Gambler. Bizarrely, it has been reported that the Gambler was dressed as the infamous Joker."
Upon hearing that, Joker couldn't help but chuckle. "Serves him right, there's only one me!"
Jack Ryder looked over his shoulder and motioned for his cameraman to follow him. "Here they come now, let's see if we can get a statement!" He pushed through a sea of other reporters and other civilians with his cameraman right behind him. Once the cameraman was in position the news report showed Hazard and the Gambler, sporting a very messy Joker disguise, being escorted out of the spa by GCPD officers.
"Ms. Hazard, do you have a statement for the press!"
"Yeah I've got one." Hazard craned her neck to shout into Ryder's microphone as she was dragged off. "I am officially putting a bounty on Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy! And I can do that, I have connections! She forced my granddad into retirement and messed up this whole operation of mine!"
"Alright Hazard, let's go!" The officer escorting her pushed her towards the police van.
"Contact the Fiddler for more information! I will be out of jail soon!" Hazard screamed at the top of her lungs as she was dragged into the van.
The report continued but Joker didn't pay attention to it, he just began to laugh uncontrollably for reasons even he didn't totally understand.
"What's so funny, boss?" Gaggy tilted his head.
"Oh, I just feel vindicated. I'm glad somebody hates Harley as much as I do." Joker smirked. "Well, I don't really hate her… I just think she's pathetic. Anyway, let's go kill her." He casually stood up from his spot on the couch.
"Are you serious?" Gaggy raised an eyebrow, following after the Joker.
"Why not! I've got nothing better to do!" Joker started laughing. "Hell, maybe we can get Masky in on it."
"If you say so boss." Gaggy nodded, following after the Joker. "You're in charge here!"
"That's right I am!" Joker beckoned for Gaggy to follow him. "C'mon, let's grab my things! We've got a clown to kill!" He laughed madly as he left the room, not sure what he was going to do but excited for it anyway.
Beneath stately Wayne Manor there was a large cavern that only a select group of people knew about. Currently Bruce Wayne, his son Damian and the Wayne family butler Alfred Pennyworth were the only ones in the cave. Bruce looked into a new lead in a case involving the Riddler while Damian sparred against a training dummy and Alfred brought Bruce some tea.
"Any new leads of the Nygma Case, sir?" Alfred placed the tray of tea down on a small table beside Bruce.
"None yet, I'm working on it though." Bruce's eyes remained fixated on the computer. "I'm scanning through the Gotham Gazette newspaper archives to see if they'll help with solving his latest riddle."
"Good luck Master Bruce." Alfred nodded, turning around. "Try not to let your tea get cold this time."
"Noted." Bruce remained focused on the screen for a couple more moments. But he became distracted when the research he was staring at was replaced with an incoming call alert. He assumed it was important and accepted it. Up on the screen was the face of Barbara Gordon, the original Batgirl and currently the mysterious figure only known as Oracle.
"Hey Bruce, I just found something." Barbara said.
"Is this about Riddler?" Bruce glanced up at her.
"No, not that. This is something new. Apparently a bounty's been put out on Harley Quinn. Wasn't too hard to find out, some lady named Becky Sharpe announced it on live TV." Barbara chuckled. "But I was able to find some dark web postings and it seems like Ms. Sharpe's threat is legitimate."
"Hmm… Interesting." Bruce nodded. "Do you think the police can handle it?"
"Maybe. Quinn's pretty unpredictable herself so putting her in a life threatening situation might cause very chaotic results. I suggest we take her into our protection for the time being."
"But how do we find Quinzel?"
"Well I hacked into some CCTV footage and found an ice cream truck driving erratically on the west end. And it's being very closely followed by a car with a licence plate registered to a certain cat burglar girlfriend of yours." Barbara couldn't help but smirk.
Bruce passively nodded. "Alright, you send someone to investigate that. I'll have Damian help."
"Noted." Barbara glanced down at the controls on her computer. "I'll send Stephanie and Cassandra to the location. Tell Robin to meet them on top of the Breyfogle Community Centre. Oracle out."
The image of Barbara on screen disappeared. Bruce stood up and turned around to see Damian still busy fighting against the Dummy. "Damian, I have some work for you."
"Yes father?" Damian looked over at Bruce.
"You're meeting up with Batgirl and Black Bat. There's a developing situation involving Harley Quinn." Bruce explained. "I need you to take her into our custody until further notice."
"Right away." Damian nodded. "She's only a madwoman with a hammer. I can take her down no problem."
Harley was mostly unconscious by now and completely unaware of the price on her head. All she wanted was the pain and threat of death to go away. Fortunately for her, the ice cream truck came to a definitive stop which she took as a good sign. She looked around confusedly at her surroundings.
"Are we there Pam?" Harley mumbled.
"We sure are." Ivy nodded. "Even if I don't quite know where here is."
Mr. Freeze got out from behind the driver's seat and motioned for Ivy to follow him. "This way, pick up Harley."
"Got it." Ivy nodded, gently picking up Harley in her arms. "It's okay Harls, I got you."
Harley reached her arms up and held onto Ivy for support. "Thanka Red… You're like my guardian angel…"
"Alright Harley, we're gonna get you somewhere safe. Just hold on." Ivy nodded.
"Right this way please, my friend's over here." Humpty Dumpty left the ice cream truck and gestured for Ivy to follow him.
Harley's weight in her arms slowed her down but she followed after him anyway. They'd parked outside of an old run down warehouse, where a good portion of Gotham's criminal population set up their base of operations.
Selina's convertible had come to a stop beside the ice cream truck and Selina got out of her car with Mad Hatter, Magpie, Ventrioquist and Calendar Man following behind her.
"Hey, Ivy, how's Harls holding up?" Selina asked.
"She's taking everything surprisingly well." Ivy replied. "Although she seems to be mostly unconscious."
"Where exactly are we?" Selina looked around. "I was kinda just following you around."
"I don't entirely know either. Humpty Dumpty says there's someone here who can help Harley." Ivy explain as she followed Humpty into the warehouse.
"And you trust him?"
"No, not entirely. But it's the best shot we have right now."
The group entered the dark and musty warehouse with Humpty leading the group. They followed him down a short corridor before emerging into a makeshift living room filled with old and likely stolen furniture.
"Mister Doctor, are you in here?" Humpty asked, looking around. "Hello? We have a patient!"
As soon as Humpty Dumtpy made his announcement a wardrobe set up in the corner started to shake. "I was sleeping in here! Oh dear, oh dear! I hate being interrupted!"
The doors to the wardrobe swung open and out from inside stumbled a sight that was not very comforting to Harley, an overweight man in a pig mask and bloody butchers apron. After staring at him for a second she recognized him as the infamous Professor Pyg. His origins were largely unknown but him and a small group of hired circus freaks made headlines a while back for being behind a series of kidnappings. His sideshow goons were either dead or in jail by this point so Pyg was acting on his own and, if Humpty Dumpty's word was to go by, he now worked as a back alley surgeon.
"Ahh! New patients for Pyg!" Professor Pyg stumbled towards Harley and Ivy. "Welcome, welcome! I'm so happy to see you! Can I get you a drink? Water? Lemonade? Condensed milk?"
"Oh fuck this…" Ivy sighed. "Harls, we're going to a real hospital."
"Yeah, I ain't too sure I got time for that now… Plus there's the whole thing about us being criminals…" Harley muttered.
"You've got a point, but do you really want this lunatic to operate on you?" Selina spoke up.
"No, not really. But I ain't got much of a choice at this point." Harley sighed.
"Follow me, follow me!" Pyg cheered and clapped his hands. "The operating theatre is this way!"
"Oh this is so exciting." Humpty Dumpty smiled and followed Professor Pyg out of the room.
"Are we really doing this?" Calendar Man leaned in towards Selina and Ivy. "I don't trust this guy."
"Yeah, I don't think anyone does." Selina nodded.
"I want everyone to keep a very close eye on Pyg. Make sure he doesn't cut up Harley's brain or try to cut out her tongue or anything." Ivy whispered.
"That- That ain't gonna happen to me, right?" Harley spoke up.
"Of course not, Harl." Ivy nodded. "Don't worry, everything's gonna be fine."
"Good…" Harley nodded and held on to Ivy.
Ivy followed Professor Pyg and Humpty Dumpty out of the room and down a hallway, with the others following her. Harley had become mostly numb to the pain by this point and was holding onto Ivy for all the support she could give.
"It'll be okay… Don't worry Harls… I've got you." Ivy gave Harley a quick kiss on the cheek as she followed Pyg and Humpty Dumpty down the hall.
They arrived in a circular room with a bloodstained operating table set up in the middle. Professor Pyg turned around to properly address Ivy. "Please set the patient down. Pyg will take good care of her."
"You'd better. If you hurt her you'll regret this so much." Ivy got closer to the table before gently placing Harley down on it. It was an uncomfortable surface but Harley didn't complain, she just wanted the pain to stop. "She's got two bullets in her back. We just need you to patch her up and then we'll leave."
"Of course, of course. But first, Pyg needs music!" Pyg announced. "I simply cannot work without music." He scurried off towards another door.
After seeing this, Selina tapped Mad Hatter on the shoulder. "Jervis, you and Freeze follow the good doctor and make sure he doesn't try anything funny."
"Oh, right away Ms. Cat." Mad Hatter nodded, looking over at Mr. Freeze. "Come along now, let's go."
Mr. Freeze quietly nodded and followed Mad Hatter through the door Professor Pyg disappeared behind.
"If he has any meds make sure he takes them!" Ivy shouted after the two of them.
Once they were both gone, Ivy went over to where Harley was lying on the table. "It doesn't look so bad now. Even if you've got a quack like Pyg working on you I think you should pull out of this."
Selina, Ventriloquist, Calendar Man and Magpie all gathered around the table to check on Harley.
"Stop starin' at me, guys…" Harley mumbled. "I'm feelin' all shy now."
"We're just worried about you." Magpie said.
"Ah it's nothin' to worry about." Harley sighed. "Just two more scars for the collection. I'm gonna be fine.."
"It looks pretty bad… Then again I've been shot there before and I'm okay." Selina remarked. She glanced over at Calendar Man. "Hey, Julian, you and Arnold go grab some stuff from my car. I'm keeping Harley's jester suit and hammer in the trunk."
"Oh yay, you remembered!" Harley cheered. "I was worried I'd have to walk around in this ratty old hospital robe all day."
"I'll get right on it." Calendar Man nodded and turned around. "C'mon puppet guy. Let's go." He quickly left out the door they came in from with the Ventriloquist following around them.
Harley felt a bit more comforted once it was just Ivy, Selina and Magpie in there with her. They were the ones who were with her the longest and having her girlfriend, best friend and closest accomplice with her made the pain somewhat more bearable.
But she had little time to contemplate this when Professor Pyg burst back into the room carrying several CD cases with him. "Music, music, Pyg can't work without his music!"
Pyg scurried up to a small station beside the operating table and fumbled with a CD player. While that happened Mad Hatter and Mr. Freeze hurried out from the door Pyg just excited.
"Goodness! For such a fat man he is rather fast…" Mad Hatter was panting heavily.
"My containment suit is heavy. What's your excuse?" Mr. Freeze glanced at Hatter.
"Silence! Pyg needs to concentrate if his operation is going to be a success!" Professor Pyg popped the CD into the player and some 70s funk music began playing.
"Mmm, disco time!" He fumbled around with a tray of surgical implements, trying to decide which to use. "Watch closely everyone! This is a master at work!"
Ivy went over to Professor Pyg and grabbed him by the back of his collar and pulled him close to her. "I swear to god, if you kill Harley or even hurt her I will make you regret it so much. Him too!" She scowled and pointed over to Humpty Dumpty.
"Oh! What did I do?" Humpty Dumpty nervously asked.
"This whole thing was your idea!" Ivy shouted.
"Quiet, I can't hear my music!" Professor Pyg yelled. "Now, I need to get the patient her sleepytime gas."
"My what?" Harley glanced up at Pyg with some concern on her face.
"He means your anesthetic." Ivy held her hand for support. "At least that's what I hope he means."
"Yes, yes, that is what I mean." Professor Pyg glances over at Humpty Dumpty. "Humpty-Man, get the tanks of sleepytime gas!"
"Oh, right away." Humpty Dumpty nodded and dashed off as fast as he could.
Magpie couldn't help but curiously glance over at Pyg. "Does he do this kind of work for you often?"
"Yes, he's my protege. Soon he will be as great as Pyg!" Professor Pyg proclaimed. He then looked back over at Harley. "While we're waiting for the Humpty-Man to get the gas shall we take a look at the damage…" He reached down and untied the back of her now very bloody hospital robe and opened it. He tilted his head as he examined his wounds and scratched his chin. "Oh dear, oh dear… Pyg hates seeing damaged people. But Pyg will fix you." He touched the back of Harley's head. "Just some minor modifications… Shave your head… And you need a mask. Your face is too… Imperfect."
"Hey, no! Bad pig!" Ivy grabbed him by the back of his head again. "We're only doing the necessary surgery here. Patch up the bullet wounds, that's it. Hell, if Harley's pain threshold is high enough she might not even need the anesthetic."
"Um, I'd prefer it. Course I'm used to a lotta pain." Harley giggled a little. "But the sooner you could dig the bullet outta my shoulder and clean the wound, that'd be great."
"Pyg is an artist, and true art must never be rushed!" Professor Pyg dramatically exclaimed. "I shall see what I can do."
"Oh yay…" Harley nervously held on to Ivy's hand for more support.
Across town at the GCPD lockup, the suspects arrested at Scarecrow's fake spa had been delivered to holding cells. Currently, Hazard was sitting on the floor of her cell and angrily mumbling to herself. She didn't like to consider herself an angry or violent woman but right now was her exception. Her brother had taken off most of his Joker costume. He removed the green wig and had the makeup washed off and his jacket was confiscated by the officers.
The Gambler noticed his sister's sour mood and sat down beside her on the floor. "Hey Becky, are you gonna be okay…."
"I miss granddad…" Becky sighed. "All this criminal stuff, I'm doing it because of him."
"Well, maybe we can visit him once we get out of here." Steven smiled reassuringly. "I hear Florida's nice this time of year."
"Yeah but he doesn't wanna pull off big scores or do supervillain stuff anymore. Ever since Quinn took him down all Grandad's done is sit around at his retirement home." Becky scowled down at the ground.
"You never know, he might change his mind about things." Steven tried to smile reassuringly.
"Yeah, guess so." Becky sighed and nodded.
It was around then that a GCPD officer approached the cell. "Sharpe, we're getting a phonecall for you."
"Uh, we're both Sharpe." Steven pointed at himself then over at his sister. "Which one of us."
"The girl." The officer gestured over to Becky. "C'mon, let's go."
Becky nodded and stood up. She went over to the cell door and was let out. The officer was quick and cuffed Becky's hands in front of her before locking the holding cell door behind her.
"This way. No funny business. And don't stay on the phone too long." The officer looked over his shoulder at Becky.
"I know the drill. This isn't my first time in a police station." Hazard sighed. She was led to a bank of phones and handed one. She struggled for a moment in her cuffed hands but managed to get the phone up to her ear. "Um, hello?"
"Becky, thank god you're alright." the voice of her grandfather Steven Sharpe the Third was audible through the phone. "I heard about you getting arrested in the news."
"Granddad? Wow it's great to hear from you." Becky smiles.
"Becky, I need to know what the hell have you been up to. When I saw that crazy, shouting woman on the news I barely recognized you."
"I- I wanted revenge…" Becky looked down at her feet, seeming embarrassed. "That Harley girl hurt you…"
"Bah, it was just a sprained ankle. I've had worse."
"But she made you retire…" Becky mumbled.
"There ain't many old supervillains Becky. I was gonna have to retire at some point or get killed. Truth is we scammed that Quinn girl and she was right to be angry at us. Look, Becky, I need ya to call off that hit on her. It's like my old enemy Mr. Terrific said, it's all about fair play. And puttin' a bounty on your enemy ain't fair."
"Okay, okay, I can do that." Becky nodded. "Maybe Isaac didn't put the bounty up yet. We still have some time. I'll make you proud, granddad."
"I know ya will, Becky. Good luck." With that, the original Gambler hung up on the other end.
Hazard was soon led back to her cell where she sat down beside her brother once again. "Psst, Steve…"
"Yeah, what is it?" Steven whispered back.
"We're breaking out of here." Hazard leaned in closer to him.
"How exactly are we gonna do that?"
"Well, these cops haven't read my file yet. They don't know I'm a metahuman. So I say all we need is good luck…"
Atop an East Gotham building known as the Breyfogle Community Centre, two of Gotham's heroines were waiting for the arrival of a third party. The first to arrive on the scene was Stephanie Brown, the current Batgirl of Gotham. She wasn't the first Batgirl and in fact before taking on this mantle she was going around in a different costume and calling herself Spoiler. But Stephanie didn't mind, she just liked helping people. Beside Stephanie, waiting for the third party to show up, was Cassandra Cain who at the moment went by the alias Black Bat. She was the Batgirl before Stephanie but had changed to a newer alias.
"When do you think he's going to get here?" Stephanie sighed. "I'm bored of waiting."
All Cassandra did was shrug, she was never much of a talker. Mostly on account that her dad never bothered teaching her when she was younger. She figured it out eventually but mostly liked to keep quiet. "Should be here soon. He's professional."
"He's a real brat is what he is. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a cute kid but he needs to learn to lighten up." Stephanie smirked. "Know what I mean?"
Cassandra nodded a bit. "I like him."
"He's alright, even if he is a bit annoying." Stephanie sighed.
It was around then that Stephanie noticed a figure standing in the shadows behind her, a short shadow. "Are you two talking about me?"
"Oh, hi Damian!" Stephanie waved as Damian Wayne stepped out of the shadows.
"We're on a mission right now." Damian glared at Stephanie, getting closer to her and Cassandra. "Codenames only."
"But it's just us." Cassandra spoke up.
"You don't know that." Damian glanced over at her. "Someone could be watching us."
"Let's just focus on the job for now." Batgirl said. "We're supposed to be tracking down Harley Quinn and bringing her somewhere safe."
"I heard." Damian nods. "Frankly I think the three of us are overkill. She's just one woman, a very unstable woman. But an inexperienced one with no real fighting style. It should be easy."
"In that case let's spend less time talking and more time looking for her." Stephanie smirked.
"Good idea." Cassandra nodded. "Let's ask Oracle. She can help."
Stephanie put a hand up to her ear, pressing down on the earpiece. "Oracle, this is Batgirl. Have you got any fresh leads on Quinn? We're all grouped up."
"I'm reading you loud and clear." Oracle's voice cracked in through her earpiece. "Let's see… Aha! I've got some security footage. It looks like Selina Kyle's car is parked outside a meat packing facility. No idea what it's doing there."
"Weird…" Stephanie trailed off. "What's the place called?"
"It's called the Dixon Meatpacking Plant. You're pretty close."
"Got it, we're on our way." Stephanie nodded and took her hand away from the earpiece. She turned around to address Damian and Cassandra. "Okay people, we're looking for a place called Dixon Meatpacking. Let's go in stealthy."
Cassandra nodded excitedly while Damian only gave one simple nod.
"You two should hang out more." Stephanie chuckled. "Seriously Damian, I feel like Cass is the only person who doesn't annoy you."
Damian just glared at Stephanie and took out a grappling gun from his belt. "We can have small talk later. And remember, no real names."
"Right, right, I got it." Stephanie nodded. "Let's go!"
On a nearby road, there was a purple van with a big green smiley face painted onto the side. The owner and driver of this van was none other than the Joker. He was working with a full tank of gas, some weapons in the back of the truck, his right hand man Gaggy and some thugs of his that he deemed expendable. At the moment his ultimate goal was to find and kill his ex-girlfriend Harley Quinn. Not for any reason in particular, he was just in the mood for some violence and he'd heard that there was some money in it.
"Are we there yet?" Joker glanced over at the goon he had in the driver's seat.
"Uh, no boss." The goon shook his head. "If I'm being honest I don't even know where we're going. I mean, none of us know where Harley is."
"Well then we'll just have to find her." Joker shrugged. "Keep an eye out for anything that could tip us off to her location. From what I understand, she's probably hiding somewhere. Check for abandoned warehouses, super criminals here in gotham seem attracted to them."
"Are you sure that's gonna work?" The goon asked.
"Hey! Don't question the boss!" Gaggy shouted. "He knows what to do."
"That's why I love you, Gaggy!" Joker cackled. "You agree with whatever I say unquestioningly!"
"Heh! Thanks boss!" Gaggy cheered. "C'mon, let's go kill that Harley bitch!"
"Now, now, no name calling." Joke shook his head, hitting Gaggy on the top of the head. "Women are to be respected. Unless they annoy you, then you kill them. But we do not call them names. Understand?"
"I sure do boss!" Gaggy nodded animatedly. "Can't wait to kill her."
"Neither can I. Should be the most entertaining part of my week." Joker leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the dashboard.
"I'm still not so sure about this…" The goon driving mumbled.
"Hey! Don't question Joker! He's the boss!" Gaggy yelled.
"Listen to the little man, he knows what's up." Joker smirked, glancing back at Gaggy. "Oh, what fun we're all going to have!"
The driving goon got the message and shut his mouth.
Back at the Dixon Meatpacking Plant, Harley Quinn's surgery had been going surprisingly well. After some debate with herself, Harley had opted not to use the anaesthetic. She'd originally wanted to but after thinking about it, she realized that being unconscious while a strange man in a pig mask operated on her was a rather terrifying thought. So instead she just bit down on a wad of cloth provided to her while Pyg went about removing the bullets. Thanks to Ivy's constant threats towards him, Pyg was able to complete the surgery without too many problems. He removed the bullets, cleaned the wounds and patched Harley up.
"I still would have liked to improve her. A lobotomy can do wonders." Pyg mumbled.
"Uh, I'm good. Thanks for the offer, Piggy." Harley slowly sat up, still feeling pain in her back but less than before. "Do ya wanna get paid for your services? Cause I ain't got any money. I think Selina might have some though."
"No payment necessary." Professor Pyg shook his head. "Everything Pyg does is for the art!"
"Heh, good for you." Harley nervously nodded before looking over at Ivy. "Pammy, let's get the hell outta here."
"I was just thinking the same thing." Ivy nodded. She turned around to face her crew. "Magpie, Selina, you can come with us. The rest of you, you did your part. You can go your separate ways now."
"Thank you." The Ventriloquist nodded. "It's, uh, it's been a good night. I'll take my leave."
"Yeah, see you later. Hope you can sort out whatever personal drama you've got going on." Calendar Man said.
"Ah, I'm sure we can." Harley nodded. "You all have fun now! If you'll excuse me, I gotta get changed out of these hospital robes."
"Good luck Harley." Mr. Freeze nodded.
Soon enough the other criminals filtered out of the room until Harley was in the room with Ivy, Magpie and Selina. At first she was relieved to be in familiar company, at least until she still saw Professor Pyg and Humpty Dumpty still hanging around in the operating theatre.
"What the Hell are you two still doin' here?" Harley asked
"I live here." Pyg plainly stated.
"I don't know where to go…" Humpty Dumpty fidgeted a bit.
"Well, figure it out later." Harley crossed her arms at him. "I'm sick of wearing this hospital robe. I'm putin' on some real clothes."
Humpty Dumpty nervous nodded and left the room with Professor Pyg following after him. Once they were gone, Harley sighed a bit and turned to face Selina and Ivy.
"You girls brought me a change of clothes, right?" Harley smiled.
"They brought one for me." Magpie chimed in.
"We've got it right here." Selina nodded, holding up a briefcase. "And your hammer's back in the car too."
"Oh yeah, I'm totally back in business!" Harley cheered, pumping her fists up in the air. "Look out, world! Here comes Harley Quinn!" She snatched the briefcase out of Selina's hands. Opening it up, she found her jester suit and mask inside. Without really thinking, Harley took off her hospital robe which made Magpie groan and turn away.
"Can you go change somewhere else?" Magpie whined.
"Sorry, too excited to do that!" Harley shook her head, beginning to put on her costume. "It'll only take a second anyway! Besides, this ain't the first time you've seen me naked."
"Don't remind me." Magpie sighed.
Harley hummed to herself as she changed. After just a few minutes, Harley was back in her jester suit with her mask on. "Okay, let's go!" After happily bouncing around for just a moment she looked around and stopped herself. "Uh, where are we goin' exactly?"
"Well, uh, I figure we all just go home." Ivy shrugged. "I know it seems like a boring way to end the day after all that but I don't think any of us want anymore excitement."
Harley nodded and smiled. "Sure, it works for me! Let's get goin'! And hopefully we ain't gonna run into any more issues." In all her excitement, Harley started leading them out of the factor even if she didn't know how to get out. She'd been too delirious on her way in to remember the layout. Realizing this, Ivy walked beside Harley to help her around.
"C'mon Harls, let's get home… I'm so glad you're safe." Ivy kissed Harley on the cheek.
"Aww, you're such a sweetheart." Harley giggled and kissed Ivy back. She kept being all giggly and happy until she reached the exit. Once she stepped outside, three figures were of particular note to her. Crouched atop the hood of Selina's car was Robin, sitting to his left was Batgirl and standing to his right was Black Bat.
"There you are, we were waiting." Robin's voice was cold and calm, creepily so for someone his age. "We were just about to move in."
"What do you guys want?" Harley sighed. "Was the Bat-Daddy too busy to come see me? He had to send his posse of kids. Christ, gimme a break…"
Batgirl got up and slowly started going towards Harley with a hand reached out. "Harley… We're here to help. Someone has put a hit out on you and we're taking you into our protection."
"Are you serious?" Harley couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Who wants to kill me?"
"You realize you were just held hostage by a bunch of people who probably were going to kill you." Ivy gleaned over at Harley.
"Oh yeah…" Harley nodded at her before glancing back at the three heroes. "Well, I don't care if it's true or not! Ain't nobody bossin' me around anymore! I'm my own woman now and I'm doin' whatever the hell I want."
"You tell 'em Harls." Ivy nodded, giving Harley an encouraging pat on the back.
"I told you they wouldn't listen." Robin shook his head and glanced at Batgirl. "We'll have to knock them out and take them in by force."
"Aww, ya really do like us." Harley said in a mocking tone. She glanced over at Ivy, Magpie and Selina. "Girls, let's kick their asses!"
"Harley, are you sure that's a good idea in your condition?" Selina asked.
"Pfft, I'll be fine." Harley nodded. "Now, let's go get 'em!" Without thinking much more, Harley ran forward towards the trio of heroes.
Robin was the first to react, using his size to his advantage and leaping into the air. He landed on Harley's back and wrapped an arm around her neck, keeping her off balance. While Robin did that Batgirl lunged forward at Selina and came at her with a kick. Selina managed to block it and retaliate by grabbing a whip and moving away, now prepared for a fight. Not wanting to be left out, Magpie rushed ahead at Black Bat with her clawed gloves raised. She soon realized that she was way out of her league when Black Bat pummeled her with her fists in quick succession.
While the six of them fought each other, Ivy dove to a hiding spot. Direct combat was never something she was very good at and she wasn't about to start learning now. Instead she looked for any nearby plants to help. Unfortunately for her they were fighting in a heavily industrialized area which meant not a lot of natural plant life. She closed her eyes and expanded her reach to the Green. She discovered some weeds growing in the cracks in the concrete and some plants growing underground. It would have to do. Ivy tried focusing in order to make the plants around her grow and hopefully help out her friends.
Harley managed to get the upper hand over Robin, flinging him off her back. But Robin was quick to recover. He took a collapsible staff off his belt and de-collapsed it to its full length. Thinking quick, he lunged ahead at Harley and hit her in the chest with the staff, knocking her back.
Batgirl and Selina seemed more or less evenly matched. Each time one of them seemed to get the upper hand, the other one gained some footing. The same could not be said for Magpie and Black Bat. Magpie was losing quite a bit against the more experienced fighter with Black Bat having given Magpie quite a few bruises and a bloody nose by now.
Some plants in the margins of the Dixon Meatpacking Plant parking lot started to creep closer to the three battling parties. But before the plants could do anything, something distracted all the fighters from their current quarrel. The sound of a loud engine became audible and bright headlights shone as a big purple van barreled into the parking lot.
When it showed no signs of slowing down Robin leaped out of the way with the others following. The back doors of the van swung open and two of the Joker's goons wearing heavy clown makeup jumped out of the back and fired wildly at the scenery with machine guns. The fact that they weren't hitting anything didn't get them to stop. They continued to empty their clips until there was nothing but clicking noises left. Once the guns had quieted down, loud laughing became audible. Footsteps slowly became audible as the Joker came into view, exiting the passenger's side of the van with Gaggy following behind him.
"Now that is how you make an entrance!" Joker kept laughing. "Oh Harley, are you here? I have a surprise for you!"
Against her common sense, Harley got out of her hiding place and approached the Joker. "Puddin'? What the hell are ya doin' here?"
"I'm going to kill you." Joker shrugged as he got closer to Harley.
"What! Why?" Harley asked, taking a few steps back.
"It's a few factors, actually." Joker casually went on. "Firstly, I don't like you very much. You're rather annoying. Two, I've got nothing better to do today and I'm bored. And three, word on the street is there's a price on your head."
"Wait, what! When did that happen!" Harley exclaimed.
"Just earlier. Some angry lady dressed like a casino dealer made an announcement." Joker explained. "I don't know how valid it is but I'm going to kill you anyway. Because like I said, I'm bored."
"Oh yeah, I'd like to see you try." Harley crossed her arms.
"Yeah, that's the idea." Joker nodded and took a pistol out of his jacket pocket. "Bye now!" He started firing off his pistol at a rapid pace.
Harley jumped to the side and hid behind some crates that Magpie was also behind. Looking around, Harley saw that Selina had gone to hide over with Ivy.
"So, uh, what's your boyfriend doing here?" Magpie asked, glancing at Harley.
"Ex-boyfriend." Harley corrected. "And I got no idea. But I'm gonna kick his ass just like I did with that brat Robin."
"I think he was beating you." Magpie mumbled.
"Well I'll win the rematch against him too!" Harley declared. "We can do this, everyone! I ain't afraid anymore. Not of Joker, not of Batman, not of anyone! C'mon Maggie, let's go get 'em!"
"Oh boy… I've got a bad feeling about this." Magpie sighed.
Closer to Gotham's downtown area, there was a rather hectic police chase going on. Hazard and the Gambler had escaped from the GCPD precinct quite miraculously and stolen a police car. The Gambler got behind the wheel and sped off as fast as he could while Hazard collapsed in the passenger's seat. She'd exhausted herself using her luck powers to get this far and wanted a rest.
"Becky, I'm starting to think this was a mistake." The Gambler remarked, looking behind him at the other police vehicles chasing after them.
"Too late to turn back now Steven…" Hazard looked out the window and started fishing through her pockets. "Keep driving, never look back."
"Alright, alright... " The Gambler sighed. "I have got a real bad feeling about this… We're gonna end up back in that cell, mark my words."
Hazard ignored him and felt around in her pocket. Soon she found what she'd been searching for, a hidden pocket sewn to the inside where she kept a backup cellphone. She took out the phone and dialed a number into it, putting it up to her ear.
"C'mon… C'mon… Pick up…" Hazard whispered, biting her lip a bit. After a bit of waiting Hazard heard a clicking on the other end.
"Hello? Becky? Is that you?" the voice of the Fiddler made itself known from the other end of the phone.
"Isaac! Great to hear from you!" Hazard cheers.
"Are those sirens I hear? Where the hell are you?"
"In a cop car, going down the highway. I'm in the passenger seat though, don't worry. We're doing fine."
"Becky, why are you calling?"
"Did you, um, did you do that bounty thing I was shouting about on TV?"
"Uh, yes I did."
"Dammit! Can you call it off."
"I… I can try. Why?"
"Granddad convinced me that I might be overreacting."
"It's not as easy as hitting an off switch. I'll see what I can do." with that, the Fiddler hung up on the other end.
"Crap…" Hazard sighed and sank down in her chair.
"Not good news, I take it?" The Gambler glanced over at his sister.
Hazard shook her head. "Let's go find Harley. Right now, it looks like they're all pretty screwed over 'cause of me…"
"I'd hate to be them right now." The Gambler chuckled a bit.
A/N: Yep, another cliffhanger. But don't worry folks next issue is the grand finale to this story! I'm kinda sad to end it but I've also got a few other ideas for future DC Comics stories floating around in my head. So finishing this story opens up all sorts of new doors! Should be fun to finish this off. I'm kinda surprised I wrote this many chapters this fast.