Ala Twilight Alice—it's tiiiiime ;)
Also if you're not reading iambeagle's Don't Delete the Kisses what on earth are you waiting for?
Waves of Hope
Chapter Twenty-one
Edward
No. Fuck, no. Not again.
My shrill ringtone drags me from a great dream when the sun is barely peeking through the curtains. As I flip over, one hand gropes around for Bella, the other stretching toward the heinous buzz of my phone dancing around on the nightstand. Coming up empty in the bed, finding only cool sheets, I snatch up my cell and push myself upright.
My gut churns as I gruffly call out for Bella before barking, "What's happened, is everybody okay?"
Bella skids into the room seconds later, her eyes wide and her chest heaving.
"Good morning to you, too, Edward," May teases. Her tone knocks some of the wind from my sails, but not all. "Sorry to call so early, but I wanted to catch you before you came in today."
Clearing my throat, I rake a hand through my bed hair—or, sex hair. Since Bella's libido woke back up and the doc gave us the okay, we've been making great use of the child-free hotel time before we're drowning in babies and boys, something Sullivan hilariously called us out on when we were on a group video call with him, Jasper, and Benjamin. My hair gave us away. That, and Bella's haphazardly buttoned shirt.
"Oh right. Well, is everythin' okay? The babies—"
"Are absolutely fine. No worries there. I'm actually calling with good news!"
The babies were eight weeks old yesterday. In those eight weeks, we've had plenty of good phone calls and plenty of bad. Something about May's sing-song tone tells me this isn't like any of those, though.
I swallow hard, gripping my cell tight enough that the buttons on the side dig into my palm. Bella is still staring at me, beseeching me to put her out of her misery, but I can't. Before I have a chance to ask what's going on, May cheerfully says, "I hope you brought those car seats back with you yesterday. We've got two babies here itching to try those bad boys out."
Wait, I...what?
I don't have time to ask if I'm being punked because May babbles that she's got to go—but not before reminding me to bring the seats if we have them, or arrange to get them as soon as possible if not. When she hangs up with a cheerful "See you soon," I sit there silently with my phone to my ear for a second or thirty.
Bella finally blows out a big breath. "Okay, you've gotta tell me what's going on before I lose my ever-loving mind here."
"Sorry, sorry, I…" It's my turn to breathe big and long, but a smile spreads across my face as surprise shifts into joy. "It was May. She wanted to catch us before we went in today so she could let us know that she needs something we've got."
Bella scrunches up her face. "Something we've got? What?"
"Car seats, honey. Two of the babies are ready for the car seat test."
And we both know what that means.
The babies—or two or them, at least—are almost ready to come home.
~ oOo ~
In our rush to get to the hospital, we barely manage to remember to bring two of the car seats that I thankfully did bring back with me after taking the boys home on Monday. They started back at school on Tuesday so I stayed in the Bay with them and we video called Bella as I was dropping them off. The boys were stoked to be going back to their friends and a real routine, but it was rough on Bella, not being able to be there to wave them off.
After school I took them to Sprinkles & Sunshine for ice cream, then to Burger Co. for dinner. Benjamin met us there with Danny and Freya, and Dad joined us for his first official meal out as a resident of Jackson Bay.
The boys are making the most of him having a spare room and little other than a flat screen and a drawer full of takeout menus while he's still settling in, so I didn't feel guilty leaving them yesterday morning to return to Bella and the babies—optimistically loading the car seats into the minivan just in case.
As we roll into the parking lot at St. Joseph's, I see Bella chewing her lip in the corner of my eye.
"What's up, short stuff?"
She flashes me a distracted smile, unbuckling herself. Neither of us linger in the car, both wanting to get up to the babies as quickly as possible. "How are we going to get the babies home?"
Frowning, I point to the two seats I'm yanking out of the back.
She rolls her eyes. "I know in car seats, but we need a van, Edward. One that will fit all of us, plus Max, the boys, strollers…" Bella trails off as I knock the door shut with my hip and start walking toward the entrance. "We're going to need a bus."
She's not totally wrong. We'll need a vehicle that takes eleven people plus a large dog and at a minimum, one six-seater stroller or two that take three.
Bella's lip is still being mangled between her teeth when we reach the elevator. I put the seats down, hit the button for the NICU floor, and grab Bella's face between my hands. Tugging her lip free, I lean in to kiss her soft mouth before backing up with a small grin.
"I'll make a few calls and see what we can find, okay? Maybe you could do a post in that group on Facebook, see what the pros say."
"That's a good idea, actually. They might know some good models or at least have suggestions for what might work."
"See, not just a pretty face, right?" I tease, popping a kiss on the tip of her nose just as the elevator dings. "You're right, we do need a bigger vehicle, and we'll find one. Even with my Jeep and your Traverse, we won't all fit."
My stomach lurches as what I just said sinks in. Even with two cars, our family won't all fit, and that's not even including Max or the stuff we'd need to take the babies out.
There are times when the magnitude of our new reality hits me out of nowhere and it steals my breath.
This is one of those times.
Especially when we reach our babies and get the crazy news that it's Rylee who will be taking the car seat test today.
"Oh yeah," Dr. Uley grins, my girl's tiny hand wrapped around his thumb. "She's ready. She's still the smallest, but she's made the weight, she's feeding like a champ, we've had no brady episodes for at least five days, and she's been breathing well on her own for two weeks now with no issues. Your girl here is itching to break out of this place, isn't that right, sweetheart?"
Rylee coos and kicks her little legs at him, so of course I roll my eyes when Bella giggles and tells the doctor Rylee loves him and will be sad not to see him once she's discharged.
"Oh, and the other good news is that Mr. River is also ready to try out his seat."
River is less of a surprise. He's been an easy baby from day one and hit the required weight marker of five pounds over a week ago. They delayed his car seat test because he had a brady while feeding over the weekend, and then another on Monday, but I guess they're getting prepared in case he's good to go in the next few days.
"So, are you guys ready to take babies home?" Dr. Uley asks as Bella scoops Rylee into her arms, settling into the glider to nurse when our daughter starts to fuss.
"I think so…" I murmur, chuckling ruefully at his amused grin. "It's daunting, but I think we're ready to get these babies back to Jackson Bay."
He winces then. "Right, I forgot you're not at home. Will you be taking them back to the hotel for the time being, or dividing and conquering?"
"We've talked about it over and over, but we figure the best thing to do is just all stay here until we're all ready to head back to Jackson Bay."
As eager as we are to get these babies home, I don't think either of us wants to split up. The babies could all come home within days of each other or it could be weeks until they're all discharged. There's no way to know, and it's that uncertainty that made us decide we'd just stay at Charlie's hotel together until all the babies are free to return to the Bay with us. We could divide and conquer, like Dr. Uley said, but the thought of being separated for an indeterminate amount of time just seems ridiculous and unnecessary. Renee is on stand-by to come stay with us just as soon as babies start being released; we'll need the extra hands once we're having to divide our time between the babies in the hospital and the babies at the hotel.
"Well, if all goes well with these two and their tests, you'll soon be on your way toward having your family back together." His gaze softens as he looks over toward Caben; every doctor and nurse in this place has a soft spot for our smallest boy, our mighty fighter.
All of the babies have graduated from incubators to open cribs now. That's another of the requirements they have to meet before they can go home, so...score.
Being in open cribs means it's easier to see them, even from across the room. It's no surprise to me that when I follow Dr. Uley's gaze, Caben is chilling out watching us through the bars, his face partially obscured by the big binky in his mouth.
I know what the doctor is going to say before he even opens his mouth.
"Of course, you may have a wait on your hands when it comes to your little guy over there."
Caben is gaining weight, but slowly. He is doing well with his breathing, but he's still having fairly frequent bradycardia episodes.
"We'll wait as long as it takes," I tell him firmly, shooting Bella a wink when she aims her bright smile my way. "There's no rush. He'll be ready in his own time."
"Absolutely right," Dr. Uley agrees. "Okay, I'd better be off. I'll see you two later once we've got the results of River's and Rylee's tests."
"Okay. See you later, Doctor."
Once he's gone, it's just us and our babies. Now they're not hooked up to a billion monitors, just a couple each, we can hold the babies more often and for longer periods of time. They're still the smallest babies I've ever seen, even having packed on the ounces in the last couple of months, but nothing in this world beats feeling their weight in my hands or against my chest.
My mind wanders as Mackenzie coos and fidgets in one arm, Asher kicking him from my other arm. I find myself grinning when I land on a memory from a few weeks ago.
The first time the babies were all reunited.
.
.
"O-kay. Let's get you snuggling some babies, huh?"
Bella nods, her smile firmly in place. "Yes, please."
It's always...interesting, trying to maneuver babies when they're hooked up to a billion wires. It takes ten minutes to get River and Oakley settled comfortably on the pillow on Bella's lap, and another three for her to pull her confused gaze from May to me. Bella doesn't get a chance to ask what May is up to before she's carefully placing Caben beside Oakley.
My grin is almost painfully wide when May asks, "There's room for three more there, right?"
Bella's slack-jawed expression is captured perfectly on my cell as I quickly raise it to snap a photo. "I...we can do that?"
"Of course! You'll have to use your arms like bookends so they don't fall off, but let's give it a shot and get these babies back together."
Getting all the babies and their numerous wires out of the incubators and onto Bella's lap is like a military operation. It takes a good twenty minutes to do it, but as May places Rylee on the end, completing our lineup, Bella isn't the only one crying.
Clearing my throat into my balled-up fist, I video Bella as she gently rocks, her hands cupped around River and Rylee with Oakley, Caben, Mackenzie, and Asher sandwiched in-between. Her smile is radiant, her eyes glittering as tears tumble over her cheeks before catching in the curve of her lips.
"I can't believe they all fit," she giggles tearfully, her eyes darting over the babies' faces. They're all dropping back off to sleep, content and cosy.
A sweet follower of the babies' Instagram account sent us some handmade hats for the sixers and they're wearing them now as I snap photos and record Bella absolutely glowing over the miracles on her lap. I'll remember the look on her face, the shine in her eyes, for the rest of my life.
"We did it," Bella breathes.
"No, honey," I crouch down beside her, pressing my lips against her temple and inhaling the sweet, perfume-esque scent of her citrus shampoo. "You did it."
.
.
It isn't long before their contented grunts and coos turn into whining and crying. May and Molly appear right on time with some bottles, and between the four of us, we manage to get the sixers fed. Bella takes one for the team and tandem feeds Caben and Rylee, leaving me to feed Asher and Mackenzie while May takes Oakley and Molly handles River.
I can't help but watch Bella smooth Caben's hair and murmur softly to Rylee when she gets frustrated with her brother's hand encroaching on 'her' boob.
It still blows my mind that she was feeling so self-conscious about her body when it's such an incredible work of art.
Only once have I ever been more in awe of her than I am when I watch her feeding our babies, and that was when she was carrying them. Bella has never been self-conscious around me, not since the very first time we slept together back on the Fourth of July four years ago—until last week.
It's going to take time to convince her that the new scars across her abdomen mean something different to me, that the stripes etched into her skin memorialize an incredible feat. Her new curves call to my hands in ways I can't describe, the sight of her nursing our children something I didn't expect to enjoy as much as I do.
Once the babies are fed, diapered, and content, we split the bunch and take three each; I get River, Asher, and Mackenzie today because I held the other three yesterday. As I stare down at their faces, their features so familiar now even though they seem to grow and change overnight almost, I trail fingertips over soft cheeks and button noses. I rub tiny feet and murmur stories about their big brothers. They soak up my voice, big eyes staring intently at my face.
Asher's thumb finds its way into Mackenzie's mouth and River starts to squawk because Mackenzie's leg is draped over his.
"The sibling rivalry is already starting," I grumble halfheartedly, fixing them so they're not kicking or hitting each other as Bella snorts across the room. When I lift my gaze, the smile on her face takes my breath away.
"It's only gonna get worse," she warns. "Six babies all the same age...we've got years of fighting over the same toys, the same clothes, the same everything. Jax and Finn were bad enough and there were only two of them. We're majorly outnumbered with these babies."
She's so right it's not even funny, but I laugh through my nose before abruptly shutting up when May pokes her head in to let us know they'll be coming to get Rylee for her car seat test shortly. She's up first, then River.
I thought I'd be done being nervous by now, but nerves infiltrate my sunny mood and I know Bella's feeling them too when we share a heavy, loaded look.
This is a big deal. I just hope River and Rylee are ready for their first big test.
~ oOo ~
"Congratulations, Daddy," May grins over her shoulder at me as Bella snaps photo after photo of our little miracle.
Our little miracle who is now free.
"Thanks, May."
She must see the crazy emotions twisting me up in knots because she steps away from the photoshoot to give me a reassuring hug. "You're going to be just fine. You're ready. She's ready."
Yes, she is.
A shaky smile spreads over my face as I watch Bella put down her cell, apparently done taking pictures for the moment, and carefully adjust Rylee in her seat. She looks so small, so fragile, but we've padded her out the best and safest way we can. She has a rolled-up blanket either side of her, just like May showed us, and another folded neatly beside her on the table ready for when we carry her out of here.
I still can't believe we're about to carry her out of here.
"Well, well, well." Her namesake himself strolls into the room, a wide smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "Who would have thought it? I told you she was a feisty one," Dr. Biers reminds Bella with a wink, and he's not lying. He told us over and over that Baby F, our lone girl in a pack of six, was the feistiest one. He was right.
Dr. Biers turns to me, clapping me on the shoulder. "What a great belated birthday gift."
I grin, nodding. "The best."
When we celebrated my birthday last week, we knew it would be the last one before our life changed significantly, but we didn't know we were just days away from carrying the first of our babies out of the NICU.
"It's a shame about this little guy though," Dr. Biers says, crossing over to River snoozing contentedly in his crib. He failed his test purely because of a drop in his oxygen levels while he was in there. Dr. Uley still thinks it'll only be a matter of days before he's ready to go, but we'll see.
Speaking of…
Dr. Uley greets Dr. Biers with a handshake and a friendly grin. They're good friends as well as colleagues and it shows. Their camaraderie as they playfully argue over who gets the glory of these babies makes me wistful for Burger Co. and my team there. I got to spend a few short weeks in the restaurant before shit hit the fan and I needed to be with Bella.
I miss my crew. I miss working behind the line, I miss watching my staff bantering with the customers, and I miss the easy camaraderie.
A sudden squeak from the seat in front of me reminds me exactly why I'm missing those things. The tiny face of my daughter, her big gray eyes and pursed-lipped frown, remind me that there's nothing more important than my family.
Willow taught me that there's far more to life than just the happy moments. Now the sixers are teaching me that sacrifices don't always equal pain.
"All right, handsome," Bella breathes, tucking herself into my side once she's settled the debate between the doctors—she's taking the glory for this particular victory. "Shall we get our girl…"
She trails off, and I smile, wrapping her up in my arms as my eyes drift back to Rylee, who still looks mad at being trapped in the car seat but is quiet for the moment. "Let's get her to our temporary home."
What feels like a hundred, but is really only a handful of people, want to say "goodbye" to Rylee. It takes us twenty minutes to get out of the NICU. My heart pounds as I carry her toward the big double doors, Bella rushing ahead of us to snap a photo. A part of me feels like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm stealing my own baby.
That last step over the threshold feels like I have lead weights strapped to my ankles, but every step beyond that gets lighter until, when we reach the final set of automatic doors leading to the outside world, I feel buoyant with excitement and happiness.
Bella's eyes are glassy as she watches me slow down just before my feet hit the edge of the shadows bordering the sunlight, my chest heaving with a big breath. This is a pivotal moment. It's been a long time since I had a newborn—sixteen years to be exact. My eyes drop to our daughter. Her eyes are wide open and looking up at me. She trusts me. She's sweet and innocent and spunky, and I have her beautiful mother to help make sure I don't screw her up. Today marks a monumental occasion and I can't help but think Willow has a hand in this, in having her little sister be the one to ease us into bringing the sixers home.
I get a sudden flashback of those early days with Willow, of taking her home and leaving a hospital just like this one.
Looking down at Willow's clone with Bella's eyes, I swallow the lump in my throat. I'm gonna do so many things differently.
Blowing out a big breath, I reach out with my free hand. Bella slips her fingers into the gaps between mine, and I cross over the line. "Let's go, little legs."
After loading her into the car, the drive back to the hotel is long. I have precious cargo in the backseat and I'm suddenly painfully aware of every speed hump and hole in the road. Bella sits in the back with Rylee and despite her repeated assurances that I can go faster than the snail's pace I'm currently going, I just barely ride the speed limit.
By the time we make it to Charlie's hotel, my hands are aching from white-knuckling the wheel and Bella's smile is bordered by frustrated understanding.
Over the last few months, we've gotten to know the staff here pretty well, so it's no surprise that the girls behind the desk rush right over when we walk into the foyer with a car seat.
"Oh my gosh, you've got a baby!"
I grin, subtly adjusting the little cardboard sign on the handle of Rylee's seat. Bella got one for each of them and they all read 'stay back, your germs are too big for me.' They're designed to protect our preemies from people touching them, and it seems to do the trick as Victoria and Bree hover but don't touch.
"This must be Rylee, right? She's so cute!" Victoria gushes, pulling Bella in for a hug. "Congrats, girl! I bet you're on cloud nine."
"Yeah," Bella beams, leaning into my side. "It felt like this day was never going to come."
But here we are after eight long weeks in the NICU. One baby down, five to go.
~ oOo ~
Caught somewhere between asleep and awake, I listen to Bella speaking softly to our girl. Peeling one eye open, I glance at the clock on the nightstand and yawn into my pillow.
6 a.m. That's not too shabby.
Rolling over carefully, I find myself grinning like a fool when my eyes land on Bella sitting up against the headboard, Rylee tucked into her silk robe, the smacking sounds of her nursing filling me with contentment and a little amusement.
"She's a noisy eater," I murmur gruffly, clearing my throat as I fold the pillow under my head to prop me up a little.
Bella offers me a serene, sleepy grin. "She's going to town."
"Makin' the most of having you all to herself, I reckon."
"Probably," Bella snorts, reaching over to lightly scratch my scalp with her nails. It's euphoric.
Humming a groan, I slide an arm over, hugging it around her waist and reaching up to lightly cup the back of Rylee's head.
"I feel like she's easing us in gently."
Grinning, I nod. "She was really good, wasn't she?"
"Like clockwork," Bella agrees.
We traded off, each taking turns to get up with her every two hours. Bella doesn't want her to stop being used to bottle feeding so she's not going to just breastfeed the whole time Rylee is the only baby here with us, so I had to figure out the bottle prep machine yesterday evening. As somebody who doesn't particularly enjoy technology, it wasn't fun trying to remember how to work it at two o' clock this morning with a fussy baby in my arms.
When Rylee's done eating—for now, anyway—I take her from Bella and help her work out a big belch, then I swaddle her back up like a baby burrito and hum her off to sleep while Bella goes to hop in the shower.
As of today, we're not just going to be trading off night feeds. We'll also be trading off visits to the NICU. Renee will be arriving later on today, but unless we're both needed, we've pretty much decided to take turns visiting the NICU so at least one of us can be with the babies there and one can be with Rylee and any other babies that come home. It's going to be hard, and trial and error will hopefully iron out any kinks, but we're in the home stretch now.
Babies are starting to infiltrate our life and it feels... incredible.
"Are you gonna be good for Daddy today?" I ask Rylee, trailing a finger over her cheek. She's milk-drunk and offers me a quiet grunt before her eyes slip shut. "I'm takin' that as a 'yes,' little legs."
Leaning back against the padded headboard, I listen to the shower running, Bella humming a tune I recognize but can't place, and gaze down at our beautiful daughter. With her eyes closed, she could almost be Willow. She has the same button nose, almost the exact same wisps of blonde hair. Hers will probably darken over time as it holds the faintest red tint in the sunlight, just like mine apparently did when I was a baby.
Holding Rylee a little tighter, I feel my chest clamping. "I won't let anything hurt you, Rylee. Not ever. You're going to be the most well protected little girl in existence with me and all your big brothers."
If it weren't for the fact that I've already decided she's never going to date, I'd feel sorry for the inevitable trials her future boyfriends would have to face. With me and eight protective older brothers, a guy wouldn't stand a chance.
"I love you, sweet girl," I whisper, leaning down to inhale her baby scent. It's intoxicating. She's intoxicating. I won't ever get bored of tracing her features and watching her coo and reach for my hands when they're in front of her. She's already a daddy's girl. She already has my heart.
"Don't spoil her too much," Bella warns teasingly when she strolls out of the bathroom a little while later, one towel knotted by her breasts, hair wrapped up in another. "She's going to have to share you, and probably soon."
"Ah, we'll be fine, won't we?" I grin, kissing Rylee's head as she coos. She's woken up from a brief nap and is alert as ever, watching the outside world from where I'm sitting by the window with her up on my shoulder. I can see her reflection in the mirror, and she seems captivated even though I know it's all probably one big colorful blur.
"If you say so." Bella crosses the room to plant a kiss on my head, then Rylee's. "I'm going to call down for some breakfast. Do you want anything?"
After rattling off my order, I settle back against the glass and watch Bella move around the room as she prepares to go to the NICU for her morning shift. When Renee gets here around noon, I'll head over there and we'll switch.
Pulling on her favorite Gators tee—my Gators tee—Bella shoots me a wink. "I spoke to Brody yesterday, I forgot to tell you. He asked when he could come visit and I told him whenever, so I think he's going to head up this weekend."
"Oh great! It'll be good to see him."
She smiles. "Yeah. Maybe we could set him up with Molly. Oh, or May! She's got a picture of him taped in her locker, apparently. She flipped out when I told her the Gators onesies the babies wore on Monday were from the Brody Weller."
Grinning, I shake my head. Most women go crazy for our pal Brody. It doesn't surprise me that the babies' nurses are no different. "So I need to warn him that Cupid is getting her bow and arrows ready, huh?"
"No, don't warn him. He won't come if you do that."
"All right, short stuff. I'll let you have your fun. I'll shoot him a message later and see when he's thinking of comin'. Maybe he could swing by the Bay and bring the boys out. They'd get a kick out of that."
Bella's eyes light up with excitement for our boys. "Oh my God, they'd freak. Do it."
By the time Bella is fully dried, dressed, and she's eaten her breakfast one-handed because she's going to miss Rylee while she's gone, we've had the call from May to say that our other five babies all had a great night and Dr. Uley is optimistic about River's car seat test do-over.
With Rylee in one arm, I walk Bella to the door wrapped in the other, kissing her good and proper because she looks like sin in form-fitting leggings and my tee, her hair thrown up in a haphazard bun and her face blessedly free of anything but lip gloss.
"I'll see you later," I rumble, her gray eyes darkening to a deep charcoal as she swipes said gloss from my lip with her thumb.
"Mmhmm. Send me lots of pictures of our girl if she does anything fun. Actually, just send me lots of pictures." Leaning in to kiss Rylee's little head, Bella shakes her head at herself. "It feels so weird leaving you two here, but I don't want to leave the other babies hanging."
"It's gonna be weird for a while, probably. We're gonna have to get used to this new set-up." Tucking a lock of stray hair behind her ear, I remind her, "We've made it this far, haven't we? One baby down, five to go. Who knows...when I come home today, I might be bringing another baby with me."
Her eyes light with hope and I know mine are exactly the same.
They eased us in gently with just Rylee last night, but it's only going to get more chaotic around here as each of her brothers start hitting their milestones and flying the NICU nest.
I can only hope we're ready for the tsunami set to hit any second.
So the flood has started! They've definitely been eased in gently with just Rylee, but we'll see if they're as calm and well-rested when they've got six babies at home.
As always, big thank yous to each and every one of you for reading and reviewing! You're the best and I love how much you love this gang. And huge amounts of gratitude to annaharding and maplestyle for keeping me in line.
You may have seen on FB, but if not, I finished writing the story today *eep* There are twenty-nine regular chapters and an epilogue, then there'll be some futuretakes after that so we can get a few glimpses into the future. I'm sad to see this one go, but I'm excited to work on a new project. I'll post the WIP summary below. Have a great weekend, everybody! Stay safe.
~ Someone Else's Baby ~
Two perfect strangers with one crazy thing in common. They've both been raising someone else's baby for the last twelve years.