Merlin was struggling, not just with these new discovered feelings he found within himself, but other things too. Just life, in general. He had been trying to socially distance himself for days now. He didn't know why exactly he was doing this, maybe he thought the feelings would just go away if Merlin wasn't faced with the problem, the problem being...well...Arthur, basically. But it hadn't been working much, or if at all. He just used the fact that he was writing songs as an excuse to stay in his room and he was pretty sure Arthur just thought Merlin was mad at him over the party, which he was not. He had chosen to try drugs on his own, well maybe Gwaine had forced his hand a little, but even still...he hadn't even minded the affect the drugs had on him, in fact he wished he felt it now, just completely numb.

What he didn't enjoy, was having these feelings, he had never enjoyed having them for Will, not once...there was no giddy feeling, or smiling, or oh my gosh moments, there was only panic and worry that he would say something wrong. He always felt guilty for feeling this way. Will didn't feel the same and Arthur...Arthur definitely, beyond a single shadow of a doubt, would not feel the same way. How were they supposed to grow a healthy bond if Merlin harbored these feelings? Merlin wondered why...why did he have to feel this way? Why not just let it go as a messed up thought and never think about it again? He didn't know how...but he wished he could.

There was a knock on Merlin's door and he didn't move, he continued to sit on his bed. He didn't want to answer it, whoever it was could just go away and if it was his mother again, as it had been so many times before, she would just walk in anyway. And that she did, having no respect for him, as usual.

"Uther needs you downstairs," she said simply enough. Merlin looked over, still not getting up. He didn't know why Uther might need him, maybe Arthur had told him what happened at the party and Merlin was being punished...maybe he would be given more time in his room. "Get up, let's go...right now. I'm tired of your lazy attitude."

"Sorry..." said Merlin, in a way that said he wasn't sorry at all. He didn't feel like being nice or at the very least, submissive right now. He just wanted left alone, and she didn't seem to get that, as she constantly came up stairs and demanded he help clean up the dinners he didn't even eat. Now he understood how Morgana felt all the time, when forced to do things. Merlin got up anyway, without arguing, because he didn't have the strength, and followed her out of his room.

Downstairs, in the sitting room stood Uther, with Arthur and Morgana sitting on the sofa. Oh great, a family meeting. Merlin sat in one of the arm chairs, instead of sitting next to Arthur on the sofa. No one said anything for several minutes, until finally Uther spoke. "Now that you're all here..." he started off, and Merlin wondered if he was going to go off about something, he looked pretty serious. "I suggest you all pack your bags!" he continued, a grin forming on his stern face, slowly. "I just got off the phone with the Traveling Agent, I have you three booked a suite in a...dare I say, fancy as hell, hotel in Barcelona." he clapped his hands together and looked around at the three, waiting for the thank you's, probably. "It was the beat I could do as our last plans got ruined..."

Uther had been planing a trip to Venice for the family, so they had been told, just the other night, but as Hunith couldn't travel out of the country due to her citizenship right now, it had to be canceled.

"What about you and Hunith?" asked Arthur.

"Yes, well...it will be a little different this year as we will not all be going together," explained Uther. "But I still wanted to give you three a nice trip, and especially as this was Merlin's first real vacation...as he was too poor before, I want it to be nice." That statement was almost nice, almost caring...he just had to add the little jab in at the end, Merlin thought. That was Uther for you. "I have set up a little getaway in town, for the two of us, never fear...and arrangements for someone to watch the beast, of course."

"Dragoon is not a beast, Uther, he's a baby that needs pampering," said Morgana, as she stood up, though, she did look very pleased. Arthur, too, they both looked very happy. Apparently a trip without parents was a good thing for them, right now...to Merlin, it felt like the worst thing. So, he was meant to be stuck with Arthur, alone? That was awful.

"He's destroying every shoe I own, child, I call that a beast!" retorted Uther, Morgana rolled her eyes.

"That's because it's owner doesn't take care of him..." chimed in Huinth and it was Merlin's turn to roll his eyes. Everyone looked over at her and didn't reply. Uther gave Merlin a look, that said 'well, I didn't say that,' but Merlin assumed he was thinking it too.

"I was not joking about packing, you all leave in the morning!"

Merlin followed the other two back upstairs, all the while wondering what exactly you pack for a trip to Barcelona. He wondered if Uther would be offended if he opted not to go, of course it was a nice gesture, he appreciated it, but he was scared straight...or at least he wished he was scared straighter.

"She called him an it...it, like he doesn't have a gender...if he asked to be called it than I can understand, but judging at how much he likes to hump my teddies, I am going with he enjoys being a boy..." Morgana was saying, as they reached the second floor.

"Just because he likes to hump things doesn't mean you aren't misgendering him," said Arthur, Merlin was just trying to pass them to get to his room and not listen in to this conversation. Mostly, because it was stupid. "Girls like to hump, too...trust me, I'd know."

"EW!" yelled Morgana. "Pedophile!"

"First of all...I've only ever been with people the same age as me or older...okay, no, wait...never mind, I have been with people younger, but not that much," said Arthur, Merlin only heard this, as he was walking away. "But still, fuck you!"

He shut the door behind him, as he heard Morgana yell something, but he ignored this. The Beast and the It in question was currently chewing on a piece of paper Merlin had been writing song lyrics on before being called down stairs and Merlin gave him a look, he stopped what he was doing, putting his ears back and prancing over to Merlin. He didn't think he was a bad parent to Dragoon, he just thinks the dog didn't like Hunith...and Merlin couldn't imagine why...

The next morning came all too fast, Merlin had spent the whole night up, trying to figure out what to pack and not to pack and feeling uncomfortable about being so far away with feelings for one of the two people he was going with. He knew he wouldn't do anything stupid about that, not the feelings thing, he was too scared to even look Arthur in the eyes right now, let alone act on anything he was feeling right now. And thinking like that made him feel weird and gross and he really just hated this...

It was really early, still dark outside even, when Uther...yes actually Uther came to wake him up. It was a bit weird, opening your eyes and finding Uther staring back at you, he wondered how his mother did it every day. But, he did have to say, in the dark, in sleep...Uther's voice did sound a little like Arthur's. And that was even more gross, and this thought made him jump out of the bed, as Uther spoke to him.

"We're leaving in twenty minutes," he was saying, looking at Merlin strangely, as he had now just jumped out of the bed like it was on fire. "I realize it's not much time, Hunith forgot to wake you, she said."

"Oh...I'm sure she did," retorted Merlin, rolling his eyes. Uther, to Merlin's surprise, let out a short, snort of a laugh. He paused at this and looked up at the man, who shrugged.

"Twenty minutes...we'll be waiting downstairs."

Merlin showered quickly, got dressed and spent the rest of the few minutes he had left saying goodbye to Dragoon, he was worried for his boy, he felt like he was leaving him with the evil step mother from Cinderella. But he did, making sure to grab his bag of clothes for the trip and the dogs leash. As he came down the stairs and into the foyer, he heard voices though. Two of them, they belonged to Hunith and Uther.

"I still say you shouldn't waste your money on this trip," Hunith was saying. "Let Arthur and Morgana go...Merlin can stay, take care of the house while we are away."

"Hunith," Uther was saying, sounding a little bit tired, like he had said it all before. Merlin continued to listen in anyway, even if he knew it was wrong. "I know you don't want it to appear that your son is using me, or taking advantage of my money and generosity...I do give too much, it is one of my faults. But if he is to be apart of this family than he should be allowed to go on a trip with the children...not allowing him to go is cruel."

"He hasn't done anything to deserve it..."

"Neither has Morgana... have you met her?" joked Uther, but Hunith didn't say anything. "No, Hunith...they will go and have a wonderful time and you and I will have our own fun." Ew, Merlin decided he had heard enough. The truth was, nothing his mother had just said surprised him, or barely even hurt him. He knew her thoughts on him, she expressed them enough. It was no secret. He walked further into the room and the both turned around, noticing him there finally. "Ah, finally...the other two are waiting in the car."

Merlin nodded and steppe forward. He handed Uther the dog leash, not Hunith, who Merln figured would take care of the dog, but Merlin refused to speak to her at this very moment. And, okay...so maybe he was a little mad, and a little hurt, but he wished he wasn't. "His food is in the bottom of my wardrobe," said Merlin, plainly. "He gets fed once in the morning and once in the evening."

Uther nodded, taking the leash, but then passed it off to Hunith right away. Merlin then turned around and headed outside, to the car. Uther stayed back, probably saying goodbye, but Merlin didn't feel any need to say goodbye to his mother. He went outside and got into the back of Uther's car. He had a very large, black, SUV. Morgana was sitting on the other side, looking extremely tired. Arthur was in the passenger seat, which just so happened to be right in front of Merlin, snoring loudly.

"Are you excited?" asked Morgana, as she looked over at him, but then she must have noticed his irritation and frowned. "What's wrong..?"

Merlin shook his head and looked outside the window, seeing Uther coming now, down the driveway. "I just don't want to leave Dragoon..."

"Sneaking dogs on planes is considered illegal..I looked it up last night." Merlin frowned at this and she reached over and touched him on the arm. "Don't worry, we'll have fun...we actually get to do what we want this vacation and don't have to follow Uther around like puppies. It'll be great, I promise."

Merlin nodded, giving her a small smile in return. He really hoped it would be.