ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – Angry Confetti
The Shield moves to Hollywood and Seth and Sasha continue their long distance relationship.
Will Stephanie McMahon Hardy and Bayley Black Heart succeed in taking NXT from Triple H?
Find out in the next episode of The Bonehead and the Brain.
Chapter Twenty – Hot Dog
Harvard University, Cambridge, MA
The Dean of Harvard called RJ Orton and Hayworth Helmsley into his office to discuss the results of their end of term exam.
"It appears you have both done exceptionally well which is weird because the last time I checked Mr Orton you were trying to get your girlfriend pregnant off campus. Yet you got the exact same results as the notoriously gifted Mr Helmsley. Do you care to tell me what is going on here gentleman before I call your parents?" he said to RJ and Hayworth.
"I never cheated sir, you know how brilliant I am," Hayworth replied. He didn't want to leave Harvard on a low note but being friends with RJ was not paying off right now.
"Should I call your parents and tell them why I can't pass you? I'm sure your father will try to murder me for failing you Hayworth but you leave me with no choice, unless you tell me what really happened in that examination room last week," the Dean said to Hayworth sternly.
"Nothing happened sir, I passed the test with flying colours like I always do," Hayworth replied.
"And what about you Mr Orton, how do you explain that you and Hayworth got the exact same score on this test?" the Dean asked RJ who shrugged.
"I guess I'm just a really good student who got all the answers right," RJ said.
"So are you telling me that Hayworth didn't give you the answers beforehand?" the Dean asked RJ Orton. "After all you've gone through with Rebecca Michelle I thought he might have realised that you were going to fail the test and felt sorry for you. Are you telling me that you passed the test with hard work and excellent revision?"
"No that's not what I'm saying because that would be a lie. I passed the test because I got all the answers right, that's all there is to it sir." RJ replied but of course, there was a lot more to it than that.
"So you didn't cheat to pass this exam, is what you're telling me RJ?" the Dean asked the junior prophet.
"Hayworth and I both passed our end of term exam, why aren't you more happy? What more could you possibly want then for us to continue to make Harvard the esteemed institution it is with our academic prowess and intelligence?" RJ said and the Dean shook his head.
"Mr Orton I've been Dean of Harvard for awhile and I have yet to be wrong when I suspect a student has cheated to pass an exam. However, I can't prove it so I guess I'm going to have to drop it. Congratulations to you both, you are free to go," the Dean said and he extended his hand for both young men to shake which they did before leaving the uncomfortable meeting to go talk amongst themselves.
"Okay you cheated, there's no way you passed that exam on your own RJ," Hayworth said. "How did you do it?"
"I didn't cheat I used my Gift from God to get the answers," RJ replied. "I had no time to study and I certainly wasn't going to let my botched relationship with Remi destroy my career prospects. What else could I do but let God give me the answers?" RJ replied.
"So, is that cheating or not?" Hayworth asked scratching his head thoughtfully.
"Let me ask you a question; if you had a Gift that could give you the answer to every question known to mankind, would you use it or would you spend countless hours trying to get the answers yourself with half the time?" RJ asked Hayworth.
"Well when you put it like that I guess all I can say is God bless you RJ. You are blessed and highly favoured among men," Hayworth said and RJ smiled.
"God gave me a Gift and if it gets me out of losing my place at Harvard, then be it unto me my friend," RJ said and Hayworth smiled and patted RJ on the back. He seemed to have gotten the spring back in his step.
"I'm glad to see you smile RJ, now excuse me while I go say goodbye to my hot scientist girlfriend. I'm leaving for New York City at the end of the week and she is going to miss me," Hayworth said.
"You don't have to be a prophet to know that," RJ said. "Isn't she going to the Pentagon with Hunter to talk about those spiders she "enhanced" for special weapons and tactics?"
"My father is going to the Pentagon with my ex-girlfriend and three of the most deadliest spiders in the world. What could possibly go wrong RJ?" Hayworth said sarcastically and RJ laughed.
"So you guys are breaking up? That sucks you were such a cute couple," RJ said.
"It was fun for sure but Alexa the Great told me that my days are better spent without in her words "that crazy science lady". Apparently, Miss Alexander has some agenda that does not have my family's best interests at heart. In layman's terms, she's going to screw my dad over with these spiders,"
"Have you warned Uncle Hunter that she's up to no good?" RJ asked Hayworth who shrugged.
"She has boobs RJ; the best I could do is get him to wear a bulletproof vest when she attempts to destroy him, he'd never believe a woman that hot could be so wicked, my father has very low standards when it comes to hot women,"
"With the exception of your mom of course," RJ said.
"All moms are exempt but ex-girlfriends, neighbours, acquaintances and colleagues are all included in that list," Hayworth said. "All I can do is ask mom to prepare the cup of hot cocoa he's going to need when it all goes down, it's going to be quite a shock,"
"You mean like when he found out Seth Rollins was getting married to the "Boss" Sasha Banks?" RJ said. "He tried to stop the wedding and last I heard he even challenged Sasha to sleep with him to prove he was a better lover than Seth Rollins. What is it with your father?"
"RJ I've been asking that question since I was an embryo and the answer still is and always be the same: he's a Bonehead. I however am a Brain so I'm a break up with this crazy science lady and make money selling hot dogs in New York City," Hayworth said.
"The last part of that statement didn't sound like something a Brain would do," RJ said.
"That's because it was my father's idea. He thinks I rely on his money and influence to make it in this world, you wait and see what I do with hot dogs in New York City. Vendors are going to be begging for me to help them increase their sales," Hayworth said enthusiastically.
"Wow you're really into this aren't you?" RJ said.
"Are you kidding, I've lost sleep over how much money I'm going to make. People are going to be coming to me for work! Have you not read my business case? It can't fail RJ!" Hayworth said ecstatically.
Hayworth handed RJ his hot dog business case and the junior prophet scanned over it.
"Smart Dogs; Hot Dogs for Brains. Ever wonder what it would be like to eat a hot dog that was good for you? I know I have. Check out the latest offering from Harvard's greatest student Hayworth Horace Helmsley. These dogs tell you your blood pressure, your weight and body mass index all in one bite. With one swipe of your DNA, you will know more about yourself than you did after you went to the doctor. How is that possible? After you take a bite of my delicious Smart Dog, you activate a sensor that takes your DNA and automatically send a download of your health report to your chosen device. The more bites you take the more intelligent the Smart Dog becomes, going into your medical history, how to take your coffee and the type of person you would be most compatible with. Don't believe me? Then come to the Smart Dog flagship stand in Midtown New York City and find out just how smart a hot dog can be!" RJ read and Hayworth held his arms open waiting for the obligatory hug that was bound to come his way now that RJ knew his hot dog idea.
"Well, what do you think? Am I Brain or am I a Bonehead?" Hayworth asked his old friend.
"You are definitely a Brain because this is a great idea Hayworth. When will the app be ready for download? I'd like to try it out as soon as possible," RJ said hugging Hayworth.
"That's Angelo's department, he invented the app I just came up with the idea of using the Smart Dog to activate it," Hayworth said. "You can ask him he should be around here somewhere,"
"Wow Hayworth I don't think this is what your father had in mind when he told you to leave Harvard and earn a living selling hot dogs in New York. I think he expected you to find it to be a humbling experience. If this idea takes off you're going to be the hottest thing on Wall Street!"
"Don't you mean, when my idea takes off? That's the best part of this RJ, I get to beat the Game at his own game! That will teach him to embarrass me and force me to leave the school I got into because of my Brain, not his Bonehead name. I mean what on Earth is a Triple H anyway? It sounds like something you'd order from Burger King!" Hayworth said and RJ laughed out loud at Hayworth's derision of his father's famous moniker.
Remi Michaels heard her ex-boyfriend laughing and suddenly splitting up with him didn't sound like such a cool idea. He was so happy and he never looked better.
"Hey RJ," she called out taking RJ by surprise and when Hayworth saw her, he quickly left the vicinity and left the two alone to talk.
"Sorry I gotta go break up with my crazy science girlfriend. Take care of yourselves guys I'll see you before I leave for New York," he said before jogging off.
A part of RJ wanted to jog off too but he couldn't do that to the woman carrying his baby, as much as it pissed him off that she didn't want to marry him right now.
"So how did you do in your end of term exam?" RJ asked Remi.
"You know how I did RJ, I passed," she replied and RJ nodded.
"Yeah I did know I was just making conversation. So have you told your folks that you passed?" RJ asked Remi who pushed her deep red hair out of her face and over her shoulder.
"You know that too, they couldn't be happier. Well actually that's not true they could be a lot happier, that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you," Remi said and RJ folded his arms across his chest and looked down defensively.
"What did you wanna talk to me about?" RJ said, this was something he actually didn't know.
"I was hoping you'd be my husband by the end of the month, that's if you still wanna marry me RJ," Remi said and RJ dropped to his knees and clutched Remi's legs pressing his head towards her. As the tears fell from his face Remi could tell he was more than happy to marry her this month. "I take that as a yes,"
"Remi Michelle, will you please be my wife?" RJ asked Remi who clasped her hands around his shoulder and kissed his soft lips.
"I would be honoured to RJ," Remi said and they kissed each other tearfully only to be broken up by the sound of wailing coming from the science lab. Hayworth hurried over to them looking relieved.
"Yeah we broke up and she didn't take it well," he explained. "I better call my father and warn him, I have a feeling there's going to be Hell to pay for anyone named Helmsley this week,"
"Looks like the Ortons are the ones who have favour," RJ said and Hayworth furrowed his brow.
"Again with this? Look you have a cool Gift and yes if I could know the answer to every question known to mankind I probably would have used it to pass the end of term exam as-well," Hayworth said and Remi gasped and stood back.
"You used your Gift from God to pass the end of term exam?!" she asked horrified. "RJ how could you do that, your Gift is to help people not yourself? Don't you know what happens when we use the Gifts God gives us for our own purposes? We lose our Gift and God gives it to someone else!"
"RJ didn't cheat though, he took advantage of a lose-lose situation. There was no way he was going to pass the exam with everything you put him through this year, so God gave him an advantage and he made the most of it," Hayworth said coming to RJ's defense but Remi was not convinced by Hayworth's comment.
"I passed all by myself and I'm carrying your child! How is that fair?" she complained.
"How do you know you didn't get the answers from God? After all you are carrying my baby and I'm a prophet," RJ countered and Remi smiled amused by the idea of having a prophetic baby.
"Are you telling me our unborn son is already smarter than the entire Harvard population? No RJ I studied and I passed the exam with hard work. Having said that I won't rat you out to the Dean, after all, I did kinda break your heart so you deserve a by I guess. But don't make a habit of doing that; we're getting married now so you can't use me as an excuse to cheat your way through exams because of your prophetic Gift from God. Let this be the last time you do this, otherwise you could end up like King Saul and lose everything," Remi said and RJ swept his hands under her head and bundled her hair up in his hands.
"Or like Solomon when Delilah tricked him into telling him why he was so strong," Hayworth added. "Wait, what was that? You two are getting married!"
"Yes and we can't wait to tell everyone. We're getting married this month!" RJ said.
"Have you cleared this with your parents? They're pretty upset with you both," Hayworth said.
"Hopefully our exam results will help to smooth thing over because they have no reason to be upset now," Remi said and RJ rubbed his brow. "What's wrong?" Remi asked him as he removed his hands from her hair letting it fall back down.
"My mom was really torn up by what we did Remi; I think she might be opposed to us getting married," RJ said and Remi shrugged.
"I know I gotta smooth things over with your mom but that's fine I'll take that over losing you any day of the week. I'd rather fight with Aunt Trish than not spend the rest of my life with the man that I love," Remi said and Hayworth touched his heart moved by Remi's words.
"This kinda came outta nowhere like an RKO. What did RJ do to make you wanna marry him after all?" Hayworth asked her.
"He's my best friend and the father of our first child. Plus he gets hotter with every passing minute, I can't let some undeserving second rate socialite or groupie have what was only ever meant for me now can I?" Remi said and RJ flexed his biceps.
"Wow mom was right, working out with Bianca Belair really does make women wanna marry you!" RJ said and Hayworth frowned.
"Wait, what? Since when are you working out with th from NXT?" Hayworth asked him.
"Since she started hanging out with Seth Rollins, that dude has women around him like a hornet's nest and she's the hottEST of them all. You should see her power lift Hayworth, if she wasn't married I would definitely suggest you go on a few late night drives with her," RJ said and Remi flexed her biceps.
"Does she work with pregnant women?" Remi said reviewing the muscles in her upper body and suddenly RJ got a revelation from God.
"My mom's gonna be pregnant soon, God just told me my parents are having unprotected sex in Aunt Amy's Ford mustang and my mom's gonna get pregnant soon!" RJ said and Remi and Hayworth almost threw up.
"Ew gross!" they said at the sametime.
"Wow that means I'm going to be a big brother and a father to two Orton babies," RJ holding his head in shock.
"Well don't forget I'm a Michaels and Aunt Trish is a Stratus," Remi said trying to steady herself against RJ after the bombshell he just dropped on her.
"They're gonna be two good looking babies, well at least you and Aunt Trish will finally have something good to talk about Remi. The good news is that my Smart Dogs can tell pregnant women how long it'll be before they give birth!" Hayworth said and Remi furrowed her brow.
"Why would I need to eat a hot dog to know that? I'm marrying a freakin prophet, I already know my son's name, his birth date and his favourite member of New Day," Remi replied.
"Is it Xavier?" Hayworth asked.
"No, Kofi," RJ replied and they participated in a "New Day Rocks!" clap in celebration of all the good news that had come out for their family while Miss Alexander watched them walk away merrily wondering why they were so happy after Hayworth had just dumped her.
"Enjoy yourself now Hayworth because when I get through with your father, you're really gonna wanna change your last name," she said frantically before marching back into the lab with a heart filled with malice and vengeance against the DX family.
"Hello this is Miss Alexander I'm the person your ex-husband's son is, um I mean, was dating. I heard you wanted to get that little wrestling company away from your ex-husband, I might be able to help you do that Mrs McMahon Hardy. Call me back and I'll tell you how I can help bring down that bastard and give you back what is rightfully yours,"
Stephanie looked at her phone, "How did this woman get my cell-phone number?" she asked Bayley who was massaging hot oil into Stephanie's shoulders.
"Hunter probably had it in his phone and she saw it when she was dating Hayworth," Bayley replied.
"Well she sounds like a psycho, let's go pick her up," Stephanie said and she got out of the massage table and straightened Bayley's ponytail before jumping on the window sil of the Enigmatic hotel room. "Ready to fly?"
"I never get tired of this," Bayley said jumping on Stephanie's back.
"Seth's got his prayer shawl but you've got Stephanie McMahon, let's fly!" she said and she jumped out of the window with Bayley on her back able to use her Gift of Flight to go to Harvard and get Miss Alexander onboard their plan to destroy DX and take NXT back as a trophy for her already stacked case of conquests.