Chapter Twenty
Strangers dressed in high-end fashion passed through the streets. Glass buildings showcased the new apparel in their branded shops. Kagome wrapped an arm around her mother's as they strolled by famous boutiques. The scent of clean clothing drifted within the empty white store. With VIP service, the staff answered her mother's beck and call to find the perfect item she was looking for. Her fingers brushed through the rows of clothing aligned along the racks. Kagome watched her mother browse through the men's section.
Tonight the family would gather for Sesshomaru's birthday. Mama had asked her to help pick out a present for him, thus she was dragged along to go shopping. Though she waited patiently for her mother to shop, boredom grew apparent upon her face as she stared out past the glass door. Immediately, she could find the view of Sesshomaru's tall business building amongst the rest of the skyscrapers. A longing flickered past her gaze as it lingered on the top floor of the building she knew was his office.
A month.
She hadn't spoken with Sesshomaru for so long. Whether it was because Arata's last words bothered her or the fact that Sesshomaru never reached out to her for the past month, she didn't go out of her way to meet him.
"Kagome, I picked out the present. Did you want to stop by Sesshomaru's office before we head back?" Her mother's voice interrupted. Glancing back at her mother, she smiled and said, "We'll see him tonight. Let's just go home, Mama."
"Alright," Izayoi responded as she led the way out onto the streets.
Lost in her thought, she followed her mother through the crowded streets and back to their driver's location. Passing by several restaurants and coffee shops, the flavourful scent was forgotten by the disruption in her mind.
Her heart struggled to tell her its secrets.
Suddenly, Kagome felt her mother halt in her footsteps. Wondering what her mother was doing, she saw her gazing at a coffee shop with a surprised expression. Following the gaze, Kagome felt her eyes widened.
"Oh my, I didn't think it was true." Izayoi whispered in shock as she stared at Sesshomaru seated near the window with a beautiful lady across from him.
Luscious waves of golden hair fell to her waist. Sunlight reflected on her perfectly smooth skin. Her facial features appeared a mixture of west and east, creating almond shaped baby blue eyes, tall nose, high cheek bones and a plump lip. She wore a feminine dress that reached to her mid thigh, just enough to appear professional yet sexy. Kagome stared at the beautiful youkai Sesshomaru was meeting with.
"Your father told me that Sesshomaru accepted an omai with a lady of Ryuu's choosing. I thought it was a joke, since knowing Sesshomaru he would never take up that kind of offer." Izayoi informed her daughter of their family affairs.
"She's beautiful," her voice trembled. Feeling a stab of pain from the image in front of her, she couldn't ignore the sensation like before. It felt as though her heart was being ripped out.
You were always scared of coming face to face with the truth of your heart.
Clenching a hand over her chest, she gasped for air. She caught the worried look of her mother from the corner of her eye. Closing her eyes, tears fell from the pain.
I know you love him.
A crack sounded from her heart as it whispered the truth to her.
##
Her fingers twirled with strands of his fiery red hair. Reading the last sentence of his favourite book, she placed it down to see Shippo fast asleep. Brushing her hand against his cheek, a warmth filled her heart at his peaceful expression. Kagome placed a blanket over his shoulders and whispered, "Goodnight, Shippo."
Knowing he would not respond, she turned off his room light and closed the door. Releasing a sigh, she entered her own room and changed into her sleep wear. A silk dress that covered her entire skin fell to reach her ankle.
She didn't go back home with her mother. Unable to face him after realizing her heart, she missed Sesshomaru's birthday celebration for the first time. Her mother never questioned her, thankfully. She knew she would have to give her mother an explanation at one point.
Gazing outside her window, she saw the crescent moon shining in the dark sky. She would apologize to Sesshomaru tomorrow for missing his birthday. The tightness in her chest would not relent. The image of the beautiful lady with Sesshomaru tormented her constantly. Taking in a deep breath, she let out a shaky breath.
Ding.
Glancing at the clock, she wondered who was visiting her at this hour. Sneaking by Shippo's room, she tried to be quiet enough not to wake him. With all the lights turned off in her house, she switched the kitchen lights on.
Opening the door, the gentle breeze of the night brushed against her silk gown. Ebony and silver strands of hair fluttered along with the wind. She called out unconsciously, "Sesshomaru."
His shadow cast over her as he walked into the house and closed the door behind him. Kagome stared at the business suit he was still dressed in and wondered if he was coming straight from the birthday celebration.
The beat of her heart grew faster. A slight blush formed along her cheeks, flustered by his sudden visit.
"You didn't come," he stated as a fact.
Knowing that he was talking about her absence tonight, she said, "Sorry, I..." Unable to think of a since excuse, her mind went blank.
"What's wrong, Kagome," a hint of warmth was heard from his voice. Kagome stared at the ground in guilt. She felt his finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet his gaze.
"You've been crying." He noted the redness in her eyes along with the slight swelling of her face. He heard from Izayoi that Kagome had also seen him in the coffee shop today. He knew at some point he would have to explain to Kagome who that woman was. He didn't think that day would be so soon.
"Who is she?" Guessing the reason for his late night visit, she assumed he wanted to talk about the woman she saw him with. She couldn't help but feel a surge of jealousy eat at her heart. Tears wanted to escape past her eyes, but she fought to hold them in as much as possible.
Not knowing how else to explain it, he said bluntly, "I need an heir."
Taking a step back, she moved away from his grasp on her chin. Biting the bottom of her lip, she struggled to keep a sob from escaping past her lips. She couldn't even look at him. The stabs in her heart grew more painful. Noticing him take a step forward, she took another step back. She didn't think she could hold in her tears any longer if he touched her. She hushed out, "So you'll mark her?"
"No," he voiced immediately. "I told you the mark is yours."
She wished, just for that moment in time, that she wasn't a Child's Protection Service worker. If she wasn't, perhaps she could have accepted his answer. But no, she saw too many broken families. Too many children scarred from their parent's decisions, separations, abuse, neglect...abandonment. Sesshomaru's choice was too cruel. He would use the woman just to birth him a child and not give her the lifespan? "You think I'd allow the child to live without his mother?"
He wished, just for that moment in time, that she wasn't so loving towards strangers. He didn't even plan to keep the woman after she gave birth. No, she did not need to be involved any further into his life. He said harshly, "I will not lose you."
Disbelieving eyes stared at him. He could see the objection in her eyes. He of all people understood the kind heart she had, but she didn't understand the darkness within his heart. He would not lose her. Even if she never felt anything towards him, he would never allow her to die with a lifespan of a mere humans. To even be able to breathe, he needed her.
"I can't allow that, Sesshomaru. If you have a child with that woman, I can't keep this mark. It belongs to her," she managed to choke out. Every word felt like poison.
He knew her stubbornness. He knew her too well. He also knew the disgust in his plan to use the woman just to have an heir. She really would have him unmark her. Even though he did all this for her, to have her stay by his side, she refused.
Shatter.
This one sided love became unbearable.
Inching closer to her, he saw her taking steps backwards. Feeling her slipping through his fingers, he desperately reached out to grab her.
Don't leave.
Strong arms reached out and wrapped around her. Locked in his embrace, she couldn't hold in the tears anymore. The familiar warmth of his embrace that always gave her the sense of security, would this no longer be her's anymore? No, she could never deserve him. She had to give up the mark.
"Please, Kagome," she heard his voice plead near her ear. The agony in his voice caused her heart to twist. Why? Why was he pleading with that kind of voice? Not making sense of his words, she tried to explain the damages towards the child this would bring. Stubbornness about her decision remained within her voice, "I can't."
He stepped back when she chose to marry another.
He held back the countless urge to touch her.
He watched her with another after he marked her.
He would even remained silent if she fell in love again.
Just this one request.
Just allow him to stay by her side for little longer.
Unable to confess to her the truth, he begged for the first and last time, "Can't you let me be selfish..just this once?"
Let him be able to breath in her scent of Sakura, bask in the warmth of her touch, hear the tenderness of her voice for longer than a human's short lifespan. A humans life span which ended in a flicker of an eye was not nearly long enough to him. He allowed this one selfish request to slip past his heart.