Content warning: references to sex (but no full smut), references to gun violence, anxiety attacks.
Avery couldn't believe her nerves. She was laying flat on her bed, her right leg shaking helplessly.
It was just dinner with Bucky and Steve. She had eaten dinner with them before. What was so intimidating about all this now? Her stomach had been flip flopping all day. Even Beatrice picked up on it when they had their weekly Price is Right watch that morning. Her advice had been to just 'let go and let loose' which made Avery double over with laughter and put her at ease just a bit.
She intended to spend her afternoon doing that research for Will - she had put it off all week due to an uneasiness in her stomach - but had conceded that she just wouldn't do it at all. Monday morning she would go to his office and return the cash and storage drive. She couldn't bear to do any of it anymore. In fact, she was hoping this could be the first step in ending her job altogether. This just couldn't be it for her. She didn't want to learn about construction and concrete and project management.
She wasn't sure what she wanted.
She sat up in her bed, finally, sighing and pushing everything back in her mind.
Steve was taking the lead on their evening ahead, only telling her to dress nice. It was hardly implied that meant more than just a sweater and leggings. She knew they were going for dinner but he said the rest of the details didn't matter. She disagreed.
Avery: Steve do I wear a ball gown or a little summer dress
Avery: are we walking
Avery: should I wear heels
Steve: do you even own a ball gown?
Steve: wear whatever feels comfortable :)
Bucky: if my opinion counts, i like that little floral strapless frock
Bucky: or you could even send us photos of a few options
Steve: oh that is a good idea.
Bucky: photos of what you're wearing underneath too maybe?
Steve: oh that is a great idea.
Avery: are you two sitting beside each other
Bucky: no
Bucky: I'm on the other side of the room
Avery: this group chat was a bad idea
Avery pushed open the windows in her living room and bedroom, welcoming in the warm summer air. Traffic noises and voices from the streets streamed through her space, enveloping her in the beautiful promise of the season - somehow warm and inviting. After a shower, the type where she was more than thorough ensuring she exfoliated and moisturized and primped, she allowed herself a moment to relax.
A bouncy playlist flowed out of her speaker and she trawled through her closet, contemplating what constituted as 'dressing nice.' She decided on a simple long sleeved black wrap dress that fell just above her knees. She tied the bow delicately on her left hip, crossing over the layers of fabric, revealing just enough of her chest in the open v-neck space left. It was light and airy enough for summer and paired with some strappy heels, she'd feel dressy enough to impress her boys.
Her boys.
Avery smiled to herself in the mirror as she finished dealing with her hair, using her fingers to comb out the hard curls left behind. The idea of dating them both, going on a date with Bucky and Steve, was exciting but they hadn't even showed up yet and her mind was racing.
Who did she sit beside at the restaurant? What if she ran into someone she knew? Did she introduce them as her boyfriends? Was that.. appropriate? Who paid for dinner?
As if on cue, her phone buzzed.
Bucky: see you soon doll :)
Bucky: Steve says to stop stressin
Her lips curled into a soft smile.
Just after six, as Avery was pacing small circles in her kitchen, she finally heard voices in the hallway. She could hear Steve laughing, mostly, then a few quieter exchanges between him and Bucky. She waited patiently for a few moments then finally swung the door open.
Steve was dressed in a pair of pressed jeans and a light blue button up with a navy suit jacket. A smile lined his face as he met Avery's eyes. His beard was coming back in slowly but surely and she had a sudden urge to reach out and scratch along his jaw.
"Avery, doll," Bucky was slow to speak, turning her attention to him as he stood beside Steve. He had on black slacks and a charcoal button up, still fidgeting with the top button as he took her in. "Wow." His hand moved to brush through his hair. Avery noticed he had gotten a haircut - his fluffy locks had been trimmed down to a more manageable length though she was happy to see he had also left his facial hair untouched.
She knew she was blushing as they looked her up and down.
Steve smirked as she nervously looked away. "Now, why do you always hide under those big sweaters?" His eyes travelled down her bare legs.
"Comfort over style, Rogers," she joked. She noticed then Bucky was carrying a bundle of flowers. "For me?"
Bucky smirked and extended the wrapped package to her. "For you."
Avery's face lit up as they followed her in, laying out the bouquet on the island. She carefully tore at the wrapping and gasped quietly as she looked over the florals. Peonies. Beautiful, blooming white and pink peonies.
"Oh my god," she leaned down to take in a quick inhale of the fresh flowers and looked up to them both with a wide smile. "Did you pick these up at that place a few blocks away? Because I stopped by there yesterday and they said their shipment was delayed." She couldn't contain her appreciation enough, nearly squealing with excitement as she removed the flowers and prepared them for a vase.
"I may have called ahead -
Bucky cut Steve off, nudging him in the arm. "He called four days ago to make sure they'd secure him these peonies."
Avery's face softened as she looked at Steve, who was blushing as Bucky teased him.
Steve nudged Bucky right back and shrugged. "Well, you only get one first date. Thought I'd do it right."
"Well, thank you," Avery replied, casting one last glance at the overflowing arrangement as she walked towards Steve. She snuck her arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss him. "Your attention to detail is appreciated."
Before Bucky could even protest, Avery pulled away from Steve and repeated her actions, running a hand through Bucky's hair as she pulled away from their kiss. "You both look especially sharp tonight. I'm very lucky."
"Trust me doll, we're the lucky ones," Bucky responded, moving his hands to her waist to pull her in for another kiss.
"Okay, okay," Steve laughed and motioned towards the door. "We have a reservation to get to."
Avery pushed away from Bucky, whose hands had meandered down to her lower back, laughing along with Steve. "Plenty of time to smother me with your affection later. Now," she paused and looked towards Steve. "Sandals or heels?"
Her footwear didn't make much of a difference, considering when they got down to the parking lot, Steve was leading them to some fancy looking sleek black car instead of his Jeep.
Between their dressy clothes, personal grooming choices and watching Steve drive a stick-shift, Avery had to stop herself from salivating. Tuesday night, earlier that week, Bucky had cooked them dinner and their night together at his place had been so comfortable and real. Aside from greeting each of them with a kiss and lounging on the couch, nothing else physical had happened between all three of them. And no one seemed ready to bring up the topic.
Avery was starting to feel a bit.. pent up, though.
She repressed her feelings as much as she could as they approached the restaurant. As Steve left the car with the valet (Avery hadn't been to a restaurant worthy of a valet in a long time, since well before the snap) and relished the feeling of Bucky's hand at the small of her back as he led her towards the door.
She appreciated those small touches more than she could express. It reminded her this was real, this was happening. It was comfort and protection, an ever present touch to ground her in their presence. They were at a small restaurant in Soho, although as the hostess lead them towards the patio in the back, Avery was starting to doubt she was even in New York anymore.
The patio felt more like a whimsical garden - with music coming from somewhere, adding to the gentle ambiance of the twinkling lights and lanterns above them. They tucked into a small table in the corner, nearly hidden away thanks to the overgrown vines crawling up the back trellis. It was warm and romantic. Avery slid into the small bench side, leaning on the padded back rest as Bucky slid in beside her. Steve sat across from them and she quickly realized that no matter where they sat, this was the best of both worlds.
Bucky's warm thigh beside her, Steve's warm gaze ahead.
"This place is lovely, Steve," Avery said with a smile, resting her purse on the bench beside her.
"Well, Pepper recommenced it. Actually, I think she might technically own this place. She wasn't certain but she lamented it wasn't unusual for Tony to acquire restaurants over the years." Steve smirked at the thought of his old friend.
"You know what I've noticed," Avery tore her eyes away from Steve and grabbed Bucky's arm. "Steve does this thing when he smiles. Like, he tries to -
"Like he tries to swallow it?" Bucky finished her thought, looking from her over to Steve.
"Yeah, that's exactly it. It's adorable." Avery tilted her head and looked back to Steve again.
"Can't argue with that. He hates it though. Gets all embarrassed which just -
"Makes him smile even more," Avery laughed, reaching across the table to squeeze Steve's hand. "May as well just stop trying to fight it."
Steve finally rolled his eyes, running his thumb across the back of Avery's hand. "What am I getting myself into here?"
Dinner was perfectly pleasant. The boys let Avery pick a bottle of wine and humoured her enough to each enjoy a glass of it. They ordered a few pasta dishes for the table - Bucky promptly requested a second order of the gnocchi, having some sort of flashback to his childhood because of the taste - and decided the best way to choose dessert was to order a slide of each cheesecake on the menu.
More important than the food, they laughed and laughed and laughed. Avery felt so light when she was with them both and it made her early worries seem so trivial.
As they finished off their desserts, Avery tipped the last of the wine into her glass. Her cheeks with flush, from the company and the alcohol surely. Bucky leaned back on the bench, extending his left arm out to stretch while his right hand found a place to rest on Avery's knee. A waitress brought a cup of tea for Steve.
"Ave," Bucky squeezed her knee, pulling her attention away from her remaining cake. "Your dad told me something last weekend I wanted to ask about."
"If it's about my teenage rebellion stage when I dyed my hair red and black, I have nothing to say," she said with a laugh. She turned her head to look at Bucky directly. His eyes were bright and curious. "What?"
He raised an eyebrow. "How come you're working at some construction company if you got into medical school?"
A stiff smile appeared on Avery's face. "Lou is such a gossip."
Steve tilted his head. "So it's not true?"
Avery sighed, pausing to lick the remaining caramel sauce off her fork. "I did, in fact, get accepted into Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons." The way she spoke sounded like she was reciting some monotonous church poem. "My grades were, and I quote my advisor, barely good enough to be waitlisted then it was just a few weeks before the snap that I got the letter of offer." She laughed at the memory. "It was a nice dream but do you know how expensive med school is? Especially without a scholarship. Either way, it doesn't matter now."
"Couldn't you reapply?" Steve knew a lot of institutions were trying to help people get back on their feet again.
"Sure. But that implies I want to spend four years in school again then another handful in residency." Avery paused, running a finger along her wine glass. "Truthfully, I'm not sure I ever wanted to actually be a doctor. It was a nice dream." She echoed her previous thoughts.
"Okay. Then what did little Avery Ray want to be when she grew up?" Bucky shifted and gave her a playful smile.
She matched his smirk and shrugged. "I don't know. A forest nymph? I always liked to run through the trees and pretend I controlled all the plants and creatures." She raised her eyebrows at them. "What about little James Barnes and little Steven Rogers?"
Bucky smirked. "Maybe a fireman? Seems so long ago. Didn't do much dreaming when I saw how hard my pops worked to feed his family."
Avery softened at his response. There were times when she forgot about how Bucky and Steve grew up. Lower class, blue collar families in the depression between two wars.
She turned to Steve.
"I suppose I always wanted to be a soldier, like my father. Or an artist. Teach art at school."
Avery smiled. "So a fireman and an artist."
"And a strange woman who lives in the forest?" Bucky finished off her thought. "What a group we'd make."
After they finally finished up their wine and tea and sweets, Bucky, Steve and Avery stood out front as they waited for their car. Steve was texting quickly on his phone, sending a message to Pepper to thank her for the recommendation and preemptively paying for their dinner.
Steve had spoken with her on the phone earlier that week, looking to get some information about the maintenance company connected to the Square One housing complexes. Really, he was trying to narrow down exactly who might have been trying to get into Avery's apartment the weekend they were away.
Even if it was just a normal maintenance call, he wanted to clear up what the actual protocols and procedures were. He would use his growling Captain America voice if required - but he needed to know who and why someone was at her apartment door.
Avery was checking a voicemail from a missed call as the car pulled up and as she pulled her phone down, she swore under her breath. Bucky opened the front door for her, quizzical look on his face. "What's going on?"
She just sighed, typing something out on her phone. "Lora's bachelorette is next Saturday and the venue we booked for drinks just cancelled. I can't be that mad since a pipe burst above their bar but damnit." She grumbled something else to herself as she tapped on her phone. She sent out an SOS to the wedding party chat and sighed as they started to pull away. "It was this cool little rooftop bar with a private area." She let out a dramatic whine.
"Do you think you can find somewhere else?" Bucky asked from the backseat with a shrug. "Lots of bars in the city."
"I'm going to have to try," Avery replied with a pout. "Or we'll be pre-drinking in 509 I guess."
Steve gripped the wheel as he navigated away from the restaurant through the evening traffic. "Does the location matter?"
Avery shrugged. "Maybe not. We were just gonna hang out, play some games before going out to a piano bar."
"Then I think I know just the place."
Avery's concerns and fast growing anxiety over the venue situation were squashed when Steve pushed open the door to the rooftop terrace of his building. He lived on the top floor and explained how anyone had access to renting out the space but it was often left unoccupied. Avery was speechless as they walked further onto the roof - there was a large set of outdoor couches, a small bar top and outdoor fire pit, plus string lights that illuminate the entire space.
"Oh my god, this would be perfect," Avery said, clapping her hands in excitement. "Are you sure it's okay? You'd have to let half a dozen drunk bridesmaids use your bathroom."
"It's okay. I'm sure Lora's friends aren't that rambunctious," Steve said with a reassuring nod. Bucky moved a few feet away to take a phone call.
Avery smiled at Steve again, grabbing his hand to give it a simple squeeze before moving toward the side of the building. From one side, there was a spectacular view of Manhattan. From the other, you could see across the Hudson into New Jersey. It would be a beautiful place to have their girls night and even better, wouldn't cost anything but some labour and the cost of refreshments.
She turned back to thank Steve again and saw him and Bucky having a quiet conversation and looking down at Bucky's phone. By the time she reached them near the stairs again, another voice appeared from the edge of the roof.
"That was fast," Bucky said with a stilted laugh, turning to greet their new guest.
"Well, I guess you couldn't tell I was mid-swing when I called."
Avery shuffled around and raised her eyebrows as Spider-man himself approached them. She was even more surprised when he tore off his mask. She had seen him at the compound when she visited with Steve a while ago but seeing him up close he looked so young.
"Oh shoot," he said, eyes going wide as he saw Avery. He started to tug his mask on again and Steve held up a hand to stop him.
"Too little too late, Pete," Steve laughed. "It's okay. Avery can keep a secret."
The younger boy smiled, though he looked a touch uncomfortable. "I'm Peter." He stuck out his red gloved hand outwards to her.
Avery smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Avery."
Once their pleasantries were over, Bucky stepped forward. "So what did you see?"
Peter seemed to hesitate, shuffling as he stood. He glanced between Bucky and Steve, eyes darting to Avery.
"Oh. Should I go wait downstairs or.."
Avery glanced up at Steve who shook his head, extending his arm over her shoulder then motioned for Peter to just go ahead and talk.
Peter nodded aggressively for a moment and extended his wrist out. Suddenly, a hologram appeared above his hand, displaying a steam of video footage.
"So, I, uh, followed that delivery truck all throughout Queens and it stopped at this warehouse near the docks in Flushing." The video came from Peter's point of view directly and Bucky's eyes were glued to it.
Another one of their tagged crates had shown up in the city and they had left it with Peter to watch. It was curious to them it had taken so long to appear somewhere finally and Bucky had a lot of theories stirring.
"I couldn't get a great look in," Peter continued to narrate as the view shifted. He flicked his fingers for the video to zoom in. "But watch." His footage showed a steady view of a few men, wearing dark jumpsuits, breaking open the wooden crate. Inside, they revealed a few lawyers of concrete cylinders. Two of them worked to move one out of the crate, simply dropping it onto the warehouse floor. "They just started smashing all of them. Then they crowded around and I lost my angle. But there was something concealed inside those concrete tubes. I can't be sure but" Peter tapped to pause the video, pointing to one man holding something up. "That looks like a gun to me."
Bucky huffed. He turned to Steve. "That's a new one. Moving weapons inside concrete. But if that metal is coming up undetectable on security scans, it's a sure fire way to hide 'em. Heavy, though. Especially for the big ones."
Avery wasn't trying to listen intently but actually had something to contribute. "You know, I was at a job site for a concrete pour last week and this contractor was explaining to me there's been huge scientific developments in concrete. It was really boring but he said a few places are working with this lightweight prototype. He said it's like.. sixty percent lighter in mass when it cures? Not that I'm an expert or anything.." She trailed off and realized the other three were just staring at her, eyes wide. "Sorry. You didn't ask. Not my place -
"No, that's actually very helpful, doll," Bucky said with a nod, stifling his proud smile. "Do you know the company that was doing the concrete work on that site?"
"Oh, yes. Simonarc exclusively works with Haskell Concrete & Materials."
Bucky tensed as he met Steve's eyes. Haskell. The H in the elusive S.H.O.T mess. This was all adding up to something and neither of them felt good about it.
"Fuck," Bucky muttered out. "I don't wanna do this right now but I want to go check this out for myself." Bucky turned to Steve and Avery. "Sorry to end date night so quickly. Do you have tac gear in your closet?"
Steve nodded, reaching into his pocket to hand Bucky his car keys. "Please don't scratch this. Happy was hesitant to loan it out."
Bucky leaned in and gave Avery a quick kiss and headed to the stairwell. Peter just nodded at them and turned to follow. "So are you and Captain Rogers both dating that girl? Like that old show Three's Company?"
Avery smiled as they disappeared, turning towards Steve who looked deep in thought. "Everything okay?" She closed in the space between them, sliding her hands over his hips to rest on his lower back. He pulled her in close, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.
"Just trying to solve this strange puzzle," he mumbled out. Try as he might to leave work at work, it seemed to follow them - even when they were trying to have a date night.
"Do you.. need a distraction?" Avery said quietly, tracing her fingers against his back. She felt his chest rumble with laughter.
"That's exactly what I need," he said with a nod. He moved his hand to cradle her cheek, meeting her lips with his own. Avery didn't hesitate to give in and give more. Soon enough, they were making out on the rooftop. Steve only broke away to take a breath and grab her hand, leading back to the door and hurrying down the staircase to his apartment.
Bucky had clearly come and gone quickly, leaning his discarded dress shirt and shoes in the doorway. Steve did pause to move his boots and pick up his shirt, then hurried to follow Avery into his bedroom.
Avery had flopped down onto his bed, heels kicked off to the floor. Steve started to unbutton his shirt as he walked in, after leaving his suit jacket on the couch.
"You know, I had a dream about you and this bed," Steve met her at the edge. She was on her knees, reaching up to help with the rest of his buttons.
"Oh yeah? Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine," she replied, pushing his shirt away, letting her lips find his neck. Steve couldn't bring any words to his mouth as hers explored. Her hands found his belt next, quickly pulling the leather strip away and dropping it to the floor. "Mine involved Bucky, too."
Steve practically growled as he listened to her, gently pushing her back onto the bed. He crawled up over her, lips crashing, words forgotten in the dark. His hands moved against the fabric of the dress, untying the side knot as it fell away. "No bra, huh?"
"Wouldn't work with this neckline," Avery returned with a laugh. "You complaining?"
"No, not at all." It was easier access for his mouth, apparently. He paused as his tongue lapped against her, peering outwards to see the bliss on her face. "You wish Bucky was here too, doll?"
Avery nearly melted at his raspy voice. She whimpered out a yes.
"You want him to watch? Or participate?" His hands moved across her skin, mouth returning to nibble on her chest as she answered.
"Both." She nearly jumped when she felt Steve's hands at the waistband of her underwear. "Want you both. Together." Her head fell to the pillows as his hand explored between her legs. "Oh, fuck." Time seemed to speed up and slow down as Steve and Avery made a mess of his bedsheets, this time without worrying about noise or interruptions or anything. It was just hands and lips and warmth, panting and moaning, until they each collapsed in pleasure. More than once.
Bucky came back a few hours later, dirtier than before and looking tired. He found Steve and Avery already cuddling in bed, unsurprisingly without clothes on. Well, Avery had one of his shirts on.
"Had all the fun without me, huh?" Bucky said with a smirk, tearing off his layers of clothes.
"Avery started it," Steve laughed, pushing himself up to lean against the headboard.
"Not my fault," Avery defended herself. "Steve's got a dirty mouth. I couldn't help myself." She took in a sharp breath as Bucky took off his tank top, exposing his chest to the lowlights of Steve's bedside lamps. "But I was hoping you'd maybe wanna have a shower, Buck." Avery turned her head to Steve. "You're welcome to join us, too."
Steve tilted his head as if considering his options. "If you two want a moment alone.."
Bucky laughed as he reached for his belt. "You don't have to take part, punk. But I bet Ave wouldn't mind an audience."
Avery let out a dramatic gasp as she climbed out of bed. "I tell you one little secret, Bucky. That's not fair."
An hour later, they were all cuddling in Steve's bed together.
While what transpired in the shower may not have been described as a threesome, Avery had never been more turned on in her life. Bucky had her pressed against the shower wall, attached at the hips, whispering illicit things as the water drowned them from above. He was aggressive and thorough and grabby, holding onto Avery firmly as he thrusted into her. Meanwhile, Steve leaned against the other side of the steam shower and watched, his hand busy working between his thighs. Then, they all smiled, warm hands everywhere ensuring the grimey warehouse was washed off of Bucky.
It was damn satisfying.
Now, she was sandwiched between them in bed. Well, she was laying on her stomach and staring at her bridal party group chat as Steve and Bucky vaguely talked over her about work related things.
Avery closed her eyes, leaning into her pillow as she shut off her phone. "Can you rub my back?"
She closed her eyes and smiled to herself when two hands landed on her shoulders.
"Wait. Who were you asking?"
"It was a test," Avery opened her eyes and looked up at Steve. "Just wanted to see what would happen."
"Funny," Bucky said as he rolled his eyes, continuing to run his hands over her naked back.
She pouted. "In my defense, I worked hard tonight."
"Oh, were you the one who went and scoped out a warehouse with the spiderling for hours?" Bucky shook his head. "That kid never shuts up."
"No, but she did have sex with two super soldiers," Steve added in, nodding proudly to himself. He shuffled and nudged Bucky's hands away, taking over the task.
"Oh, what a hardship," Bucky fell down flat on the bed, leaning over to kiss Avery. "I do appreciate that though."
"Excuse me. I'm probably going to have trouble walking tomorrow."
"You said harder," Steve replied with a laugh, pressing his thumbs along her shoulders. "You knew what you were asking for, sweetheart."
Avery just smiled as they bickered over her again. Eventually, Steve's hands were lulling her to sleep. She felt two kisses on the top of her head, one following the other as she drifted off.
"So, what were you doing out in Elmhurst today?" Bucky lifted his gaze to look at Avery as she sat across from him and Steve at her kitchen table.
It was just a regular Tuesday night. Avery requested her boys over for dinner and was so happy to just be in their presence. She was feeling strange and sad and anxious and worried. Usually just being around Bucky or Steve put her at ease but it wasn't working as quickly as she wanted.
She just had a feeling of impending.. something.
Work had been frustrating, leading her to feeling more and more uncertain about so many things Will had been telling her. She had spent most of her afternoon writing her letter of resignation - which had been satisfying, even if she wasn't ready to quit yet.
The previous morning she tried to return the money and memory drive to him but he had pleaded with her for the help. She said yes, again, but didn't do anything. She figured next time he asked, she would just explain the storage drive was corrupt so she didn't get a chance to look at it. They had visited a site that Tuesday afternoon but he had been too preoccupied to ask her about it again.
Avery came home and prepared dinner - well, she made a salad to accompany the pasta she had picked up on the way home. It was enough. The windows across her living room were open, streaming in the last of the evening sun and allowed a gentle breeze into the apartment, letting her greenery breathe in the fresh air.
Bucky had been stewing about the Osborn research all day. He was tired of the what ifs and unanswered questions and despite Steve's hesitance, Bucky wanted to ask more questions of Avery. Especially after what they saw in that warehouse Friday night.
There had to be some information she could provide to fill in whatever was missing.
"I just help Will on site visits. Mostly like note taking and holding schematics as he compares. They're in the preliminary build stage for a new apartment complex on Grand." She sighed, poking at the pasta on her plate. "He says I'm a Project Support Administrator now but really I'm like his glorified secretary when we're out of the office. He's also trying to train me on a bunch of things, talking about me taking some project management courses and - " Avery put down her fork and tilted her head. "Wait. How do you know I was in Queens?"
"You mentioned it earlier?" Bucky felt a lump in his throat. She hadn't. That was a stupid, stupid lie. He knew because he was watching the tracker in her phone earlier.
The tracker he had not disabled or told her about. Even though he had assured Steve he would at least make her aware of it.
"I don't think I did," Avery replied quietly, pursing her lips. She was certain she didn't. Mainly because the job site had been a touch questionable. She tugged on the sleeves of her light cardigan, covering up the bottom of her wrists.
Steve sighed, raising a hand to pinch between his nose. "Buck." He pushed up the sleeves of his button up, casting a sideways glance at Bucky.
"You stalking me or something?" Avery smirked then looked between them both. Neither of her boyfriends shared her amused glance. "That was a joke. What aren't you telling me?" She nudged her plate away, moving a hand to anxiously run through her hair.
Bucky brought a hand up to rub his neck as he took a deep breath. Before he could say anything, a loud thumping noise sounded out above them. It had been a while since Avery's upstairs neighbours - who were also Bucky's downstairs neighbours - had been much of an issue. Every now and then some yelling occurred between the guy who lived there and his girlfriend. A dog yelped out following the thud and all three of them stilled.
Avery looked up to her ceiling for a second then across to Bucky and Steve, who were exchanging a stiff glance. Music started to play upstairs, too.
They all cautiously kept talking.
She shifted in her chair, folding her arms over her chest. "Well?" Her words were tensely directed at Bucky, who appeared to be navigating through his thoughts to come up with a response to her.
"Okay, Ave, hear me out," Bucky slowly put down his fork against his plate, rubbing his hand across his jaw as he met her gaze. She looked… worried. "I knew you were out in Queens today because.. I, uh, a few weeks ago installed a minor tracking algorithm on your phone."
"What?!" Avery shook her head, eyes wide. A minor tracking algorithm? That was a cute way to say he had basically microchipped her phone. "Why would you do that? And why the fuck wouldn't you talk to me about it or, I don't know -" She let out a sharp exhale, "Maybe ask for my permission? You just took my phone one night and did this?"
"Avery," Steve joined them in ridding himself of his cutlery, tensing his jaw as he looked towards her.
"Did you know about this?" she asked through her teeth, shifting to look at Steve.
Steve held his hands up. He really didn't want to get involved. "It happened before..this relationship started."
"But you knew?" She blinked at him a few times, cheeks growing red with anger.
"I did but he said he was going to tell you.."
"Steve really had nothing to do with it," Bucky said slowly, shaking his head.
"What's that quote about being neutral in situations of injustice?" Avery pushed her chair back and stood up, racing towards her bedroom to retrieve her phone. She came back out, phone in hand, waving her arm towards Bucky. "Uninstall it. Now."
"It was just a safety precaution, doll," Bucky replied, hesitantly reaching out to take her phone. He paused, lips pulling into a barely visible smirk. "I'd say it's hardly an injustice."
Avery dropped back into her chair. "I am trying really hard to contain myself here, Bucky." She pursed her lips together, running a hand through her hair as it swept over her shoulder.
Rational thoughts. She needed rational thoughts. Rational thoughts would keep the anxiety at bay.
Rational.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Have I given you any reason not to trust me?" Was this where she wanted to start? Her hands, which had been resting at the edge of the table, curled into fists. "I don't talk about my ex-boyfriend a lot because, well.. It doesn't matter, really. But he used to always ask where I was, where I was going, who I was with. It was an insane lack of trust because he was.. I never knew for sure but.. Fuck. I can't get into it. But he severed my trust and -
Bucky knew she was getting anxious - he had caught her tells by now. Her body language closed in, she was guarded. Her voice teetered between angry and timid. Her blinks were tighter, she bit on her lip, her face flushed. "Avery, doll. It's not about trust. Of course I trust you. I just… I worry about you." Bucky tapped a few times on her phone screen then typed in a code. He handed it back to her, taking a deep breath and glancing over to Steve for a brief second. "I don't think you're always honest with us about how you're feeling or about things that might be affecting you or -
"So you trust me but you think I'm a liar?" Avery's eyebrows shot up and she stood again, walking towards her door. "You can leave."
"No. That's not what I said." Bucky stood the same, crossing over to stand in the living room. "That's not how this works, Ave. If you're mad at me, we should talk about it. You can't just send me away."
"I'm sending you both away, actually." Her words were sharp. "If I want space to think about all of this, you should give it to me."
"Listen, Stevie had nothing to do -
Avery threw her hands up. "Steve didn't tell me about it nor did he -
Avery's argument was cut short when there was another commotion coming from the apartment above hers. There was a screeching female voice overlapping a series of shouting from the male occupant. All three of them looked up, as if they could hear through the ceiling. (Well, Steve and Bucky probably could hear through the ceiling.) The woman's voice turned frantic suddenly, as if she was pleading. It wasn't easy to make out her dialogue over the music and barking dog, but what was loud enough was the gunshot that sounded out next.
Avery gasped, bringing her hand up over her mouth as her eyes grew wide with fear.
Without even a second of hesitation both Steve and Bucky moved towards the door. Bucky paused and reached up on Avery's bookshelf beside her TV unit. His hand brushed around near the backside and suddenly he produced a narrow, collapsed knife.
"Steve, there's a handgun underneath the sink," Bucky said quickly, tucking the knife in the back pocket of his jeans and hurrying towards the door.
"I don't know if that's necessary, Buck." Steve was standing still, trying to focus on listening to what was happening above him. His right hand moved to his pocket to grab his phone.
"Just in case."
Steve conceded a nod and followed Bucky's instructions. He reached inside the cupboard under Avery's sink, feeling around and pulling down a small black pistol. His phone was already tucked between his ear and shoulder, talking with an emergency dispatch.
Avery didn't even have time to react to the fact that there were weapons hidden around her home when Bucky reached her at the door. His hands held onto her shoulders as he scanned over her face. He hated that her anxiety was loudly on display, quivering lips, narrowed eyebrows, tears hesitating to fall down her cheeks. He wanted to stay and get through this stupid fight but there was no way he or Steve could let the actions continue to unfold upstairs. One gunshot indicated they probably should have tried to intervene sooner, even.
"I need you to wait in your bedroom and lock the door. Only open it when me or Steve come back."
"What are you -
"Avery, please." His eyes flicked towards the bedroom. "Now."
When another gunshot sounded off upstairs, she knew it wasn't time to argue. He kissed her forehead and she turned away from him, catching a small, concerned glance from Steve as he exited through the door with Bucky. She could hear their voices, low, going over a plan as they approached the stairway and made their way to the unit above.
Avery did as Bucky said, locking her bedroom door before sitting on her bed. She sat there, very still, trying to listen to whatever else was going to happen upstairs. She thought about what they might be walking into - at least one deranged man with a gun was too much for her to even wrap her mind around. Sure, Bucky was in dangerous situations all the time and well, Steve was Captain America and had seen his fair share of violence over the years. She could only hope they were both trained on how to de-escalate tense scenes or could handle what was going on until the NYPD showed up.
But they were going on with nothing to protect themselves - no kevlar or layers of tactical gear. Yes, sure, they healed rapidly but she knew well enough that a gunshot wound would still affect them. She tangled her hands together as she waited, trying to combat all the worst case scenarios going through her mind. But the anxiety started to seeped out, pushing underneath the carefully locked door of worries in her mind.
Despite the distance between her apartment and the one above, she could hear Steve's voice. It was level and calm. She could only assume he was taking charge, trying to get the weapon away from the agitated party.
Weapon.
Avery finally let herself think for a goddamn moment about how Bucky was so quick to reveal he had hidden weapons around her apartment. She was tempted to scream and start pulling things out of her dresser drawers and closets, in case he had hid something in her bedroom, too. It was almost comical that this had all unfolded in one night - of course her inconsiderate boyfriends, one a retired Avenger and the other a former trained assassin had the ability to track her phone without her realizing and conceal weapons in her home. She supposed she could be grateful instead of angry but without transparency, she was struggling to make sense of it.
Why was Bucky so adamant about these safety precautions? Was it paranoia or were he and Steve actually concerned about threats to her wellbeing? Was that really something she should be upset about - that they cared so deeply about her?
A frustrated groan escaped from her throat as she fell back onto the bed, kicking her legs out rapidly. She was allowed to be mad, she was. She shouldn't have to remind herself of that.
The situation playing out in the apartment on the sixth floor was not a particularly easy one. The door had been left open and as Steve and Bucky approached, light footed and cautious, they silently made a plan. It was a blessing they could communicate so easily. Steve took the lead, knocking as he pushed the door open. Inside, he was relieved to find no one bleeding or injured from the gunshots.
It was clear soon enough this was some sort of domestic argument that grew out of control. The man had taken control in a rage, the woman hiding from him in fear. He tried to dismiss Bucky and Steve, demanding their privacy.
The rest of the situation unfolded quickly. Steve tried to talk down the aggressive male while Bucky slowly put himself between the man and the woman cowering on the couch. When Steve eventually lunged at the man, the gun went off again and Bucky deflected it with his left arm. The police showed up not long after everything calmed down. The man was escorted out in handcuffs, the woman left crying on the couch while she recounted the circumstances to the police officers and Steve.
Bucky, meanwhile, lingered in the kitchen area, kneeled on the ground making friends with the small scared pup. Steve came over and offered him a soft smile.
"Do you want to go check on Avery? We're almost done here," Steve crossed his arms, eyes going back towards the police officers talking to the woman.
Bucky stood up, swallowing hard. "I'll wait for you."
What he was really saying was along the lines of I'm not sure I want to face her alone.
The police officers moved towards the door with the woman, who paused to collect her pug from his place at Bucky's feet. They thanked both Steve and Bucky for their help then they all moved downstairs.
As Steve and Bucky approached Avery's door again, unharmed aside from the small hole in Bucky's shirt, Steve paused to grab Bucky's wrist. "Please don't tell me you have any other weapons hidden in there."
Bucky sighed. "No. I mean, she has a bat in her bedroom but that didn't come from me."
Steve smirked for a second then his face fell. "You know this might not go smoothly, right?" He ran a hand through his hair, flexing his jaw.
"I think I'm doing pretty poorly as a boyfriend today," Bucky murmured out, reaching his hand out to Avery's door handle. He pressed in the code and pushed the door open. Steve patted his back in support as they went back into her apartment. He left the handgun on the kitchen island and Bucky dropped his knife down there, too.
Steve took the lead again and headed to Avery's door. He listened carefully at first then knocked. The door flew open and Avery was quick to throw herself onto whomever was on the other side.
"Are you okay? Both of you? I heard another gunshot.." She closed her eyes tight and let Steve's arms wrap around her.
"We're fine," Steve said as he pulled away, kissing her forehead. "No one was hurt. A bullet grazed Bucky's metal arm but it didn't even leave a scratch."
Avery broke away from Steve, pausing to look him over quickly before rushing over to hug Bucky just the same. She ran her hands down his arms as she pulled away, tracing her thumb over the hole in his henley on his left arm. He shifted and grabbed her hand to move it away, giving it a gentle squeeze as if to confirm he was okay.
"What happened to the dog?" Avery asked next, taking a small step away from him then glancing back to Steve. He was still standing outside her bedroom door, slowly moving back towards the kitchen.
"The dog left with the woman and the police," Steve answered, nodding his head. "He was unscathed."
Avery nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Okay. Everyone was okay. They were okay. She inhaled deeply, trying to center herself again and come back to what was happening before. Then her eyes spotted the knife and gun resting on her kitchen island.
That definitely brought her back. She shifted on her feet, pivoting to look from the weapons and back towards Bucky. She pursed her lips. "So."
Bucky took a step back and leaned against her kitchen counter. "Ave, let me explain."
"Yes, please explain. I would love to know why you thought to hide a loaded glock underneath my kitchen sink!" She threw her hands up, dropping one to run through her hair as she paced between them both.
"It's not a Glock, technically. That's a specific manufacturer and -
Avery groaned, scrunching up her face. "Bucky!" Her gaze went to Steve next, as if to see if he was going to contribute to their argument.
Steve had been hesitant about getting involved. This really seemed like something between Bucky and Avery. He didn't want to take sides - especially when he could very easily sway to either one. Sure, Bucky should not have done anything to Avery's apartment or phone without talking to her about it first. That was easy enough. But, he knew well enough that there were dark, bad people in their life and Avery being entwined with both of them now brought up an extra security risk they needed to be cautious of.
"Avery, I know it seems extreme and I'm not condoning how Bucky did this but you've got to understand that there are certain thought processes and fears we have when it comes to your wellbeing. You know we care about you."
She exhaled sharply, turning to Steve, pointing at his chest. "I'm not angry that you care about me. I'm angry you've given me no say in how you want to 'protect' me." She used an over exaggerated air quotes motion as she drew out the word protect. "No one asked me about my phone or the dangerous goods hiding around my home."
"You didn't even know about the gun or knife, babe," Bucky pushed off of the counter and stepped towards her. "I should have told you but I really didn't think it was an issue."
It was a dumb argument and Bucky knew that the moment the words left his mouth. He knew he fucked up - judging by Avery's reaction this was not going to be immediately resolved either. He resisted balling his hands into fists, an unnecessary aggression but all he could do was channel his frustration into blame and hazard to himself. In his mind, whether or not he could admit it out loud, keeping Avery safe was the most important thing in his life. It was the only mission that mattered above anything else, save from the equally important well being of Steve.
His execution of how to keep her safe was flawed. That was clear enough.
This is why he was grateful to have Steve along the way now. To filter his dumbass, reactive ideas.
Avery was practically stomping with irritation. He remembered how her irritated face used to make him laugh - because she was somehow effortlessly adorable when she pouted. But this version of her was different, elevated, hurt.
"It's not a fucking issue until I'm under the sink looking for a vase and I discover a loaded handgun instead. Just because I was so blissfully unaware doesn't make it okay." She was practically hissing now. "Any other surprises I should know about?" She could feel her breath picking up as her mind raced. She pivoted back to Steve then to Bucky again. "And who are you so desperate to protect me from that you're not only tracking my whereabouts but planning just in case we're attacked in my apartment?"
"Hey, hey." Steve took a few steps forward and hesitantly reached his hand out to grab her shoulder. She let him, though she tensed at the touch.
There was no hiding the fact that Avery was overwhelmed by all of this. The nervous feeling that was coursing through her continued to build - every part of her felt tight with anxiety. The surface of her skin was somehow hot and cold, itchy and drenched in sweat. Every noise in her apartment grew louder and louder, the buzzing of her fridge and the squeaky pipes of the building sounded like an unpracticed symphony. It was a sensory overload and she just wanted to collapse to her knees.
Deep in that back hallway of her mind, a faceless monster of anxiety dragged its feet forward.
Steve slowly moved his hand from her shoulder, rubbing gentle circles on her back instead. She remained stiff, eyes closed focusing on her breathing.
His hand, typically used to hold a shield or become a fist of protection, kept the monster at bay.
"I have worked really hard to have a home, a safe escape from my stupid old life and my job and everything outside," Avery's voice was barely above a whisper. Her lungs felt overworked, like they couldn't get enough air. "I understand you are concerned, especially after the break in, but neither of you get to decide on safety precautions for me without talking to me."
Her voice was raspy and tired. She couldn't even bear to continue her thoughts.
Bucky closed in more of the space between them. He met Steve's gaze, as if to confirm what he should say next. He knew where she was coming from, really. He understood. But the bright red flashing light in his mind was taking over.
"I don't agree with that, doll," Bucky's words came out slowly, as if he was approaching a startled animal. "There very well might be a time, maybe even many times, where we make decisions about your safety without consulting you. That's not up for debate. Steve and I are trained to -
"What are you so worried about protecting me from!?" Avery's body language changed dramatically, pulling away from them both. She crossed her arms and paced in small circles near the doorway.
Her head pounded with the heavy stomps of regret. Why now? Out of all the times she needed to have a handle on herself, her anxiety had to surface at full force? She tried to keep herself from hyperventilating.
The monster in her head had other plans.
Please. She tried to plead with her own subconscious. Not now.
"Sweetheart," Steve reached his hand out towards her.
Bucky shook his head again, throwing up his arms in defeat. "It doesn't matter, Avery! This entire situation got out of hand, okay? I should have told you about the tracker in your phone. And the gun. And the knife. I'm in the wrong. I just.. if something were to happen to you I could have prevented.. Avery, I love you and I can't-
"Excuse me?" Avery whipped around to look at him, one hand on her hip while the other pointed at him. "What did you just say?"
Steve took a step forward, as if trying to place himself between them both. He knew what Bucky said, loud and clear. Steve was surprised it left his lips so casually but he wasn't surprised to hear it.
It was soon, sure.
Bucky knew what he felt.
Steve felt it, too.
Bucky gulped. "If something were to -
"No, after that." She groaned, shaking her head. "This isn't fair, Buck! You don't get to say that - that you love me - in the middle of this!" She motioned her hands around and the tears finally released. "It's not fair. It's.. it's emotional bartering. I'm done with this. You both need to leave."
"It's not.. that's not it at all, Avery. Please. I mean it. I love you and we need to talk about all this."
"Sweetheart, I.. we don't want to leave you alone," Steve moved forward and reached for her hand. She let him take it for a few seconds before she yanked it away. The monster pushed him away.
"Well, I want to be alone."
She didn't. She really didn't. She wanted to scream that she loved Bucky, too. Hell, she had been wrestling with the word love for weeks now.
She was sure she loved Steve, too.
It wasn't her own self in control anymore. It was.. a shell, who left her body and sent away her rational thoughts. It was a monster of anxiety and sadness and fear, shouting into the echo of her mind that alone was better.
"Please, just give me some time to work through all of this."
Work through this? Laughable. What do you know about love, Avery? Send them away. Away. Away from you.
She closed her eyes. The monster wouldn't let her listen to any of their follow up replies. They disappeared into the air, not even coming close to her ears.
Her eyes were blurry but she was certain Steve's lips said I'm sorry.
The monster kept her arms locked at her side, her eyes avoiding their eyes.
Everything moved in a suffocating slow motion.
Bucky paused in front of her, bringing his hand up to her face. He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. His mouth moved but she couldn't hear a thing. "Avery, baby, I love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The monster in her mind laughed.
Soon her apartment was as empty as her heart.
She collapsed behind the door once they were outside. She didn't hear their footsteps walk away. In fact, if she had been concentrating even a little bit, she would have heard Steve lean against her door frame. She would have felt the ground thump as Bucky planted himself on the carpet in front of her door, too.
Each breath she took felt more and more shallow.
Please, don't go.
I love you both. I love you too. I love you.
OKAY listen I am sorry. It's not all sunshine and rainbows but this was a strange balance of hope and fluff then.. Some hardship. It's just hard to fight your anxiety, especially when you think you're just overreacting and the rest of the world is judging you for it. If this chapter was the calm before the storm, just know that the next chapter brings this all to a head. Things have been building up in our sweet sweet Avery's mind and on the other side there is hope.
I just want to take a second and say thank you *once again* for the support. As a writer, getting comments and kudos and reviews and all that jazz makes it all the more worthwhile. And even if you don't have anything to say, I appreciate you being here anyway :)
Thank you thank you thank you to my most recent reviewers: EirlysLavellan, SomebodyWhoCares, Everqueen, Maxtastic, DarmioneForever, and TheWriterWhoWaited. I know a lot of you have been around for this whole story and I appreciate it so much.
If you are craving an incredible OC, please consider reading EirlysLavellan's As The Sky May Fall - please fall in love with Alice and her lovestory with Bucky.
Next up: who knew a single hardhat could push you right over the edge of your emotional breakdown.