It stayed silent for a while before I willed my brain to get my emotions in check. I needed a breather. In some weird way Jake must have sensed that. He let out a sigh and stepped away from me.
"I understand you probably want some time." He sounded so sad.
"Yeah." I unintelligently mumbled. "I don't know." I changed my mind.
"I'll give you all the time you need, just please don't shut me out." He stepped back and dropped his hands to his sides. "And please remember—"
"Fuck," A low groan came from the couch. "Can you shut the fuck up?" If I didn't know half his head was bashed in, I might have scowled. I stepped around Jake and went over to the couch. Zack had his eyes squeezed shut and a pained expression. I felt pretty sorry for him. And I desperately wondered what had happened to him fully even though I had an idea.
"Hey, you feeling okay?" It was a dumb question, I know.
"Fuck no, I'm not okay." He cracked an eye open and glared at me as best he could. I leveled him with an annoyed glare. "God." He groaned and turned his head to the side as much as possible before flinching in pain. "Where the fuck am I?"
"Are you serious?" I was only being half sarcastic. I should probably be more concerned.
"I mean, I know here but where the fuck is here?" He tried sitting up but gave up on that pretty fast. My arms shot out ready to help in any way before dropping them again.
"You're in Forks. It's closer to the coast, I guess." I should probably be concerned over this, right? Out of the corner of my eye I was aware of Jake hanging out in the doorframe to my room watching.
"No." Zack huffed out while gently touching the side of his head before hissing in pain.
"Stop! Don't mess with it." I grabbed his hand and tugged it away.
"Is it fucking stitched? What the fuck happened?" He laid still for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"I was hoping you could tell me that." I sat down on the beat up coffee table. "And yes it's stitched. Jake's friend is in med school and lives down the road. He came over and fixed it." I lied, trying to be smooth about it.
"Your piece of shit boyfriend happened to me. I hope that fucker rots in hell." Well I guess that explains it. I wasn't too far off base in assuming he had something to do with this. "How the fuck did I get all the way here?" He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. I was glad he didn't focus on the stitches part.
"Uh, you drove." I frowned at him. It's concerning he doesn't remember that. I glanced over at Jake who was still leaning against the door frame to my room also sporting a frown on his face.
"Jesus christ. My car is probably fucked." He squinted one eye open before closing it again. "I remember stalling it pretty hard pulling off of I-5 outside of Tacoma." Well he remembered some details. That's a good sign, I suppose?
"Why were you stopping in Tacoma?" I asked. I originally wondered why he didn't cut across the Sound but realized he probably couldn't get a ferry that late. I'm more surprised now he didn't wrap his car around a tree driving in complete darkness with nothing but forests around in his state.
"Gas. Like grinding hard. I stalled it outside here too." He took a deep breath and slowly opened both his eyes, blinking several times. I would offer to turn the lights off but I couldn't do much about the daylight. "That car is fucked anyway. Whatever." He grumbled.
"I could look at it." The sound of Jake's voice made me jump a little.
"What?" Zack asked, like he didn't know someone else was in the room with us.
"Jake is a mechanic. He could look at your car." I chimed in and Zack just looked at me out of the corner of his eye before looking back up at the ceiling. He didn't respond leaving the room covered in a blanket of silence. I felt like I was breathing too loud. I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. I hated it.
"So what happened?" I finally asked. Maybe if he could spit out coherent sentences I could piece the puzzle together. Although I didn't know if my critical thinking was any better than his at the moment. I glanced over at Jake again who was staring at me with such an intense look in his eyes that I had to look away again. I didn't forget the elephant in the room. Or wolf? The wolf in the room? Whatever.
"Matt got your boy hooked on some pills and it kind of just spiraled from that."
"He's not my boy." I spat at him not even registering what was said. Zack stayed silent for a moment and it gave me a chance for my brain to catch up. "Pills? What kind?"
"I don't fucking know, B. We were all at Matt's crib and some shit was said and things just went to piss."
"Well I knew he had taken some stuff off and on. Last I knew, Matt was the coke plug of the group." I fucking hated Matt. And Matt hated me. I initially blamed Matt for that night so long ago before I realized it was coming a mile away and I just chose to ignore the warning signs.
"Well I owe Matt some money and Nick thought I was being a narc or something and it turned into four against me." He rattled off and I threw my head back and covered my face in frustration.
"Why?" I groaned. "Why would you put yourself in that situation first of all. Matt is a shady piece of shit. You should have never taken money from him in the first place. And to start shit with him while everyone is high is a completely stupid decision."
"Thanks mom. I'll be sure to remember that next time." He snorted and closed his eyes again. "Like you're all high and mighty here. You let Nick slap you around like his personal punching bag for years and didn't leave until he stuck a knife in you." I glared at him half tempted to kick him out right then and there, concussion or not.
"I stuck the knife in him, actually." I muttered, still glaring at him. He cracked an eye open and glanced at me.
"Huh?"
"I was the one who stabbed him with the knife. He came at me with the razor blade he was using to cut his shit with." He opened both his eyes this time. "If you're going to come at me with that bullshit, at least get the story right." I stood up and crossed my arms. I glanced over at Miles who was laying by Jake's feet. Zack snorted and took my attention away from Miles and back to him.
"What a bitch."
"Excuse me?" I could feel my blood boiling. I knew I made a mistake letting him back. Look at all the shit that has happened since that first phone call.
"Nick, I meant. Calm down." Never tell a woman to calm down. "He's got some nasty shit to say about you." Color me shocked.
"Really? That's why he's been in my DM's begging for forgiveness?" I rolled my eyes and Zack's head snapped my way before he groaned and put a hand to his forehead.
"I thought you weren't allowed to talk to each other. That was part of his probation. Because he was threatening to find you and finish the job but he couldn't figure out where you were because he didn't have your contact info and no way of getting it without being obvious. And his PO was a total bitch so he didn't want to risk it."
"What?" I froze. I could literally feel the life being sucked out of me. I stumbled a little and the back of my knees hit the coffee table and I practically fell down onto it. Jake was off the door frame and by my side in one second flat.
"Baylee." He grabbed my arm and made sure I was okay."
"Where did he get my new number?" My voice didn't even sound like me.
"No clue. Facebook maybe? Oh! It was his lawyer maybe. That's how he knew you were still in state." Zack didn't sound too concerned but I was flashing back to that night for the second time in twenty four hours and I was not enjoying it. I could feel heat radiating into my side and glanced up at Jake who was holding on to me. I briefly wondered why he was shaking before I realized it was me.
"You're safe." Jake muttered and I wondered if he even realized what was happening.
"Oh you're like freaked out. Shit." Zack struggled really hard to sit up a little. "He didn't mean it. He was high beyond belief when he made that comment. I wouldn't worry too much about it. He's a piece of shit." And he chuckled for a second. "And there is no fucking way he knows you're this far out in the middle of bum fuck nowhere."
"No. But you do." I stared at him and watched his eyebrows pull together.
"I would never fucking tell him something like that. And you got me so fucked up if you think I'm going to be in contact with him again."
"So, what? You just plan on staying here?" I didn't know if I liked that idea now. I didn't really like it from the get and now he's just given me a reason not to trust him even more.
"Just for the night, I guess. I don't know. Give me like an hour to figure something out."
I sighed. I couldn't kick him out in this condition. At least for now. I sighed.
"What about your job?" I asked quietly. The heat burning into my side was welcomed. It helped my mind slow down a bit.
"I was fired." He shrugged as best he could. "I'll figure something out."
"There is a microbrewery in Port Angeles which is like forty minutes from here that needs back of house people." I muttered leaning forward to put my face in my hands. Jake's hands moved from my side to my back, rubbing small circles. I appreciated the gesture even if I didn't know how I felt about him at the moment.
"Will I ever escape the restaurant life?" He snorted and laid back down. I couldn't help the smirk I had.
"Will I?" I still felt super uneasy but I welcomed the false moment of peace that had settled over the room.
"So you're a mechanic?" Zack broke the silence turning his attention towards Jake. He nodded.
"Yeah. I work at a shop just on the outskirts of town part time and then I have my own small shop down on the reservation."
"Well damn. Know how much some fucked up gears are going to cost me?"
"I can look at it for you and see if that's the problem. Could have just been you grinding them, or it could be the motor. I'll let you know."
"Appreciate it, dude." Zack held up a thumbs up and closed his eyes again. It occurred to me that based on our position right now he probably thought Jake was my boyfriend.
"How's your head?" I asked him to get my mind off Jake and the boyfriend dilemma.
"Hurts like hell." He mumbled and I could tell he seemed tired.
I took a deep breath and stood up, trying to plan out my next move in my head but my brain didn't seem to be working all that well. "You should take a nap. I work later tonight but you can stay here."
"I don't think you should be working, Baylee." Jake spoke quietly. I looked over at him still sitting on the coffee table looking up at me.
"I'll be fine. I need the money." I waved him off and went to stand in the small kitchen. I grabbed a glass and poured myself a glass of water in the sink. I'm glad I remembered work because I could desperately use the distraction from whatever the hell was going on in my life right now.
Werewolves, concussions, and psychotic ex boyfriends. I didn't sign up for this.
"You're shaking." I jumped, almost dropping the glass, at Jake appearing next to me. I didn't even hear him follow me.
"I'm fine. Just a little wired." I could really go for a beer right about now.
"I really don't think you should be working right now. You need time for your brain process everything." I wanted to snap at him but he held up a hand. "I'm just saying that I can tell you're shaken up and I know a lot of different information was thrown at you, all of which is overwhelming. I just don't want to see you have a breakdown. Although nobody would blame you if you did. Not everyone takes this so well." He seemed very sad at that statement. The comment about people not taking it will piqued my interest.
"Why did you tell me?" I whispered. "Why me?" He didn't answer right away. How many people were in on this secret?
I could feel my heartbeat in my head again and I hated it.
"Because you're important to me, Baylee." He whispered back. He seemed so genuine and I desperately wanted to believe him.
"You don't even know me." I mumbled back looking down at the now empty glass in my hand.
"I know your heart, Baylee. And I know you're a strong, smart, independent, beautiful woman who maybe was dealt a crappy hand but you've survived and you've done it all on your own and you deserve all the happiness in the world now." He reached out and tucked some of my hair that had fallen behind my shoulder. "And I know I've maybe made things a little more stressful for you and I'm sorry for that but this is who I am and I wanted, needed, to share that with you."
I could feel my eyes starting to water again.
"And I promise I'll help you with anything you ever need and help you work through anything at all. Just promise me you'll take the time to process all of this and take care of yourself." He grabbed my free hand and put a hand around the one holding the glass.
"You're still shaking." He whispered even quieter than he was talking. I hadn't noticed.
"I'm not calling off." I took a step away from him and turned to refill the glass back up, just for something to keep my hands busy. I hated that I missed his touch. I felt cold instantly. "I'll be fine. It's just one night shift and then I'm off tomorrow." I waved him off. I understood his logic but I really did not want to be alone with my thoughts right now.
He sighed and leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. "At least let me drive you to work."
"No, because then you have to pick me up and I don't want to put you out like that." I shook my head. I really didn't need him to wait around for me. I honestly didn't even know how I thought about him at the moment. I was confused and in a dopey daze at the same time.
"It's no problem at all, Bay. I promise."
"I'd rather drive myself. I need some form of time to myself." I glanced up at him knowing I was sounding pretty bitchy. He let out a deep breath and nodded.
"Okay. I'll give you all the time you need." He looked over his shoulder at Zack who looked like he had fallen back asleep. "Promise you won't say anything."
"Promise." I mumbled. Again, who was going to believe me? Miles. The thought made me snort before I shook my head clear and glanced at the clock on the oven. I was shocked at how much time had gone by. I still had a couple hours before work but I felt like this day had been going on forever.
"Call me if you need anything." He mumbled before making his exit. Miles followed after him which kind of annoyed me. What a traitor. Jake bent down and pat his head before making his way out the door, closing it with a soft click. I sighed suddenly wishing I worked now just so I had something to do. Miles made his way back over to me and I bent down pulling him into a hug. I wondered if this is what hugging Jake as a dog was like. I tried to remember the details of his form but everything seemed too hazy for me to recall anything significant. The only detail that stood out to me where his eyes. The ones haunting my dreams for weeks now. I didn't feel like thinking about it so I stood up and thought of something to distract myself with. I suppose I could contact my lawyer and look into the restraining order and see if anything had changed or if he heard from Nick. I didn't know what unsettled me more, the Nick bullshit or the Jake bullshit. I axed the lawyer idea and made my way to my room.
Maybe putting on a full face of makeup would distract me enough. I made my way into the bathroom and pulled open my makeup bag, getting to work. I usually only focused on my eyes, a side effect of my emo days. So trying to focus on blending foundation and contouring gave me some form of distraction. I took my time and thankfully by the time I was finished and dressed, I only had a little over an hour before work. Not wanting to be in the house any longer I decided to head in early knowing Joe wouldn't mind.
I gently shook Zack awake and explained that Miles was in the house and taken care of. I asked him to let him out when he woke up later, if he could, and that I'd be back later in the night. He just gave me a thumbs up and closed his eyes again. I quietly said an apology to Miles for leaving him in this situation and made my way out to my SUV. Zack's Mazda looked just how I remembered and stood as a glaring reminder to how fucked up my life was. I looked out into the trees before climbing in the drivers side half expecting to see a giant dog…wolf…looking back at me but was met with nothing besides greenery. I sighed and made my way to work.
When I walked in, Joe was standing with his back to the door at the register. He glanced over his shoulder and quickly looked to the clock.
"Hey, you're an hour early." He counted out the change before turning back to the customer. I waved to one of the regulars down at the end of the bar before setting my purse down.
"I know. I hope you don't mind. I just needed to get out of the house." I explained hoping he wouldn't ask for details.
"Sure, no problem. You want to clock in now?" He asked and I nodded heading over to the computer.
Eventually he transitioned out and I took over once he left about an hour later. I assumed it was going to be a slower night since not much was happening sports wise and it was a weekday. Normally on nights like this I would be tempted to close early but I doubt that would be the case tonight. My only motivation to go home was Miles at this point.
After a few hours and all the regulars had left, the only exciting thing I had was a father and his freshly 21 son came in but they didn't stay long. Normally I'd be much more engaging but the most I could do was give the kid a free shot with a smile and wish him a belated birthday before going back to the register.
I thought about calling my cousin and asking if she had heard anything about Nick since she was the only person I knew still in the area who knew the whole situation. I didn't feel like dealing with her judgment though so decided against contacting her.
I wish I could just pause life and stop thinking about anything for just like 24 hours. Even trying to focus on cleaning up and shutting everything down was proving to be difficult without my brain wandering to psychotic ex boyfriends and potential boyfriends turning into giant storybook creatures. I shut all the lights out and made my way outside. I quickly locked the doors and all but ran to my car, still not comfortable being surrounded by the dark forest.
I pulled out of the parking lot, noting it was past midnight and I felt beyond exhausted and wired all at the same time. I desperately hoped I could fall asleep fast tonight.
I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main drag of Forks. Not even two minutes on the road, I noticed a car pull out of the trees and follow me. Naturally I stared at it in my mirror more than the actual road and was grateful I came up to a stop sign so I could try and look better. I had an idea who it was but I prayed I was wrong.
Squinting in the dark, I could make out the lights on top of the car and could feel my anxiety just spike. I made sure to stop for a few seconds before pulling out into the intersection watching as he did a rolling stop and speed up to get behind me again.
Was this fucker really going to pull me over again?
He followed me all the way home which made me want to puke. I put a blinker on pulling into my little gravel lot outside of the apartment and let out a deep breath when he continued down the road.
I tried to take another deep breath but fell short and ended up gasping for air. I could feel my eyes burning before I snapped and just burst into tears.
What was happening to me?
I Get It Now by Fjord
I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during this time.
I very poorly edited this. Please forgive me.