If you recognize it, then I probably don't own it

Chapter 18: The Fun in Funeral

I sprinted down the stairs and threw the door open.

It was Jacob, of course, even blind—Alice could see. And the first moment I saw him, guilt pushed into me. I hadn't called him in a couple of days. Were we still in a fight? Was he still mine?

He was standing about six feet away from the door, his nose wrinkled in distaste, but his face an otherwise smooth mask. He couldn't fool me, I could see the faint trembling of his hands. I threw myself into his arms. Hostility rolled off him in waves that ebbed slightly as he wrapped his arms around me.

Jacob's Rabbit idled by the curb with Jared behind the wheel and Embry in the passenger seat. I understood what this meant; they were afraid to let him come here alone. It made me sad and guilty, they shouldn't feel that way. Like they were unsafe.

"Hey," I said, when he didn't speak. His arms were tight around me. "Unlatch, she's not here."

"You're alone?" He asked, hesitantly, loosening his grip on me.

"No, Little Mikey is here, but I can lock him in my parent's room." I said turning my head back to the house.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course Jake, do you want to come in?"

Jake glanced over his shoulder at his friends in the car. I saw Embry shake his head just a little bit. Fucking chickens.

Jake looked back at me, is thick brows pushing into a furious angle over his deep-set eyes. His jaw set, and he marched—there was no other way to describe it—into the house.

I locked gazes with Jared first and then Embry, and gave them an apologetic look. They returned my apology with hard stares. So I shut the door, when I went inside.

Jake was waiting form me in the hall, staring at the mess of blankets in the living room.

"Slumber party?" He asked sarcastically.

"Miri, who's at the door!" Mikey asked as he ran down the stairs, "Oh hi Jake!" He said. "What are you doing here? Do you want to play on the X-Box with me?"

"No, I'm not here for long." He said.

"Get up, stairs." I hissed at my brother, "Grown-ups are talking."

"You're not a grown-up!" Little Mikey told me, "How about Nintendo?"

Jake shook his head, "I'm just here to talk to Mir. Then I gotta go."

"Get upstairs, Mikey! And I'll play the stupid game with you later."

Mikey stuck his tongue out at me, "You get the bad controller."

"Oh my god, fine. Go!" I told him as he ran up the stairs. "And don't eavesdrop!"

I turned to Jake, "Let's go into the kitchen, he won't be able to hear us, unless he's on the steps."

…

"She stayed the night?" Jake asked acidly, as soon as we crossed the threshold into the kitchen.

"We had a naked pillow fight." I said dryly. "I'll show the pictures later."

He wrinkled his nose, like he was smelling something upsetting. "Where's your friend?"

"She's running some errands. Jake, is everything okay? Are we…?" I asked, hesitantly.

Something in the room seemed to make him edgier—his long arms were quivering. He didn't say anything as he began pacing back and forth along the short counter.

"Are you almost done!" Mikey yelled from across the house.

"No!" I shouted back.

"I don't like having to be here."

"I'm sorry." I told him, "What's going on?"

"I just have to ask you a couple of questions. It shouldn't take long. We have to get back for the funeral."

I nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't call you. I didn't chose them over you."

He took a deep breath, and his trembling fingers were suddenly still. His face smoothed.

"One of them is staying with you." He stated.

"Yes, Alice."

He nodded thoughtfully, "How long is she here for?"

"A couple days. Maybe less, maybe more."

"Do you think you could…please… explain to her about the other one—Vikki?"

I bite my lip, "I already did."

He nodded, "You should know that we can only watch you on our lands with a Cullen here. You'll only be safe in La Push. I can't protect you here, now."

"Oh." I said in small voice.

He looked away, out the back windows. He didn't continue.

"Is that all?"

He kept his eyes on the glass as he answered. "Just one more thing."

"Yes?" I waited.

"Are the rest of them coming back now?" He asked in a cool, quiet voice. It reminded me of Sam and his calm manner. Jacob was becoming more like him, I had to figure out if that bothered me.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't think they're coming back."

His expression didn't change, "Okay. That's all."

I glared at him, annoyance rekindled. "That's it? You're here for work? Well, go skip down hell-street and tell Sam that you bought enough bug stray and the mosquitos aren't coming back."

"Okay." He repeated, still calm.

That seemed to do it. Jake walked swiftly from the kitchen. I waited to hear the front door open, but I heard nothing. Couldn't he just leave so I could bury myself under blankets? I could hear the clock over the stove ticking.

What a disaster, how could I have alienated him so much in such a short amount of time? Was it because I let her into my house? Because I didn't call him back?

Would he forgive me when she was gone? What if he didn't?

I slumped against the counter and buried my face in my hands. How had I fucked up so much in so little time? Could I even fix it?

"Miri are you done yet?" Mikey yelled. "I wanna play!"

"No!" I yelled back, "I'll be there soon!" I hope I don't sound choked up.

"Mir." Jake asked in a troubled voice.

I looked up to see Jake hesitating in the kitchen doorway; he hadn't left! It was only when I saw the wetness on my hands did I realize that I had been crying.

Jake's expression was gone; his face was anxious and unsure. He walked quickly back to stand back in front of me, ducking his head so his eyes were closer to being on the same level as me.

"I did it again?"

"Did what?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Broke my promise. Sorry." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have—I should have just stayed in the car with you and gone back to La Push."

His face twisted, "No it's my fault. I knew how close you used to be with them. It shouldn't have taken me by surprise."

I could see the revulsion in his eyes. I wanted to explain that there was nothing sinister about the Cullens, and what Alice was really like. But that wasn't up to me to defend her or them. That was their beef, and it wasn't up to me to fix. Their history, their feud. Not mine. As much as I wanted them to be copasetic, that wasn't something I could fix.

"I'm sorry, I forgot…you mean more." I said again.

"Let's not worry about them, okay." He said, in a satisfied way, "She's just visiting, right? She'll leave, and things will go back to normal."

"And you'll still be mine," I looked down at our feet.

"Yeah, I'll always be yours." He said, gruffly. "No matter what."

I looked up, "Promise?"

"Promise."

I felt his arms wind around me, and I wrapped my arms around him and leaned against his chest. I pressed my lips to his neck, then his lips.

He kissed me back, and when we broke apart, he sniffed my hair and said, "Ew."

"What?" I asked, as he wrinkled his nose again. "Why does everyone keep doing that to me? I don't smell bad! I literally showered this morning!"

He smiled a little. "Yes, you do—you smell like them. Too sweet—sickly sweet. And icy. It burns my nose."

"Really?" Alice didn't smell like that to me, "But then why would Alice think I smelled, too?"

That wiped his smile away. "Huh, maybe I don't smell so good to her, either."

"Well, you smell sexy to me." I rested my head against him again. I was going to miss him, when he walked out the door. But Alice was here, and he couldn't come back until she was gone. And how was I supposed to go any length of time without seeing Jake? What a fucking disaster.

"I'll miss you," Jake whispered, his hot breath tickling my ear. "Every minute. I hope she leaves soon."

"It literally doesn't have to be so fucking dramatic."

He sighed, "Yes, it really does, Mir. You… are her friend. You have connections to them. So I can't be near her. I'm not sure I'm even tempered enough to handle leaving you alone with her. Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and—" his tone changed from sincere to sarcastic, "—you'd probably be mad if I killed her."

I flinched in his arms when he said that, but he tightened his arms around, refusing to let me escape. "There's no point in avoiding the truth. That's the way things are, Mir."

"Miri!" Mikey yelled again, "Come up! I wanna play!"

"Start without me," I yelled back to Mikey, then turned to Jake, "I don't like the way things are, if that's the binary."

Jacob freed one arm so that he could cup his big brown hand under my chin and make me look at him. "It was easier when we were both human, wasn't it."

I nodded, "Yeah."

We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. His hand smoldered against my skin. I knew he could read my face, and how I didn't want to say goodbye even for a short amount of time.

He released me, lifting his other hand to bush his fingertips along my cheek, trailing them down my jaw. I could feel is fingers tremble, not with anger this time. He pressed is palm to my cheek, so that he held my face in his burning hands.

"Mir." He whispered.

"Jake." I said in the same voice.

Keeping his eyes on mine, Jake began to bend his face toward me, and I reached for him.

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from under my chin and reached over to grab the receiver, but still held me securely with the hand against my cheek. His dark eyes did not free mine. I was too lost in them to take in the distraction.

"Swan residence." Jake said, his husky voice low and intense.

Someone said something, and Jacob altered in an instant. He straightened up, and his hand dropped from my face. His eyes went flat, his face blank, and I was sure it was Alice.

I held my hand out for the phone. Jake ignored me.

"He's not here." Jake said in a menacing voice.

There was some reply, a request for more information it seemed, because he added unwittingly, "He's at the funeral."

Then Jacob hung up. "Filthy fucking blood sucker." He muttered under his breath. His face turned back to a bitter mask.

"Who did you hang up on?" I asked, "Cause you know I have to take messages."

"Easy there, tiger. He hung up on me."

"He? He who?"

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen." He sneered.

"Why didn't you give me the phone?"

"He didn't ask for you." Jake said, coolly. His face smooth, expressionless, but his hands shook. "He asked where Charlie was and I told him. I don't think I did anything wrong."

"Miri! Hurry up!" Mikey yelled again.

"In a minute!" I yelled, and turned on Jake.

I opened my mouth, but stopped when I realized he wasn't listening. He looked over his shoulder, as if someone called his name. His eyes went wide and his body stiff, automatically, but heard nothing.

"Bye, Mir." He spit out and wheeled toward the front door.

I ran after him. "What is it?" Then I ran into him, as he rocked on his heels, cursing under his breath.

He spun around again, knocking me sideways. I bobbled and fell to the floor, my legs tangled with his.

"Shit, ow!" I protested as he jerked his legs free on at a time.

I pulled myself up as he darted for the back door; he suddenly froze again.

Alice stood motionless at the foot of the stairs.

"Miri." She choked.

I scrambled to her. Her eyes were dazed and far away, her face drawn and whiter than bone. Her slim body trembled to an inner turmoil.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked.

Her eyes focused on mine abruptly, wide with pain.

"Edward," was all she said.

I stepped back, and shook my head. "No. N-n-no." What was Alice's bleak face and how it could possibly be relate to Edward.

Jacob's furious voice echoed in my ear, hissing out a stream of profanities.

I was leaning against the wall, without understanding how I go close to the side. Jake was still swearing.

"What the fuck did you say to her?" He demanded. It felt like there was an earthquake.

Alice ignored him, "Miri? Miri, snap out of it. We have to hurry."

"Stay the fuck away from her." Jake warned.

"Calm down, Jacob Black." Alice ordered, "You don't want to do that so close to her."

"I won't have any problem keeping my fucking focus." He snapped, his voice a little cooler.

I swallowed hard, "Alice, he's in South America. There's no reason for him to…" I realized it was Jacob's arm I was gripping for balance. He's not coming back, he can't be. He was the one shaking not wall. "What happened?"

Alice pulled a small silver phone for a balance. Her fingers dialed so fast they were blurred.

"Rose I need to talk to Carlisle now." Her voiced whipped through the words. "Fine as soon as he's back. No I'll be on a plane. Look, have you heard anything from Edward."

Alice paused now, listening with an expression that grew more appalled every second. Her mouth opened into a little O of horror, and the phone shook in her hand.

"Why," She gasped, close to tears. "Why would you do that Rosalie?"

Whatever the answer was it made her jaw tighten in anger. Her eyes flashed and narrowed.

"Well, you're wrong on both counts, Rosalie. So that would be the problem, don't you think?" She said acidly. "Yes, that's right. She's absolutely fine—I was wrong…it's a long story…But you're wrong about that part, too, that's why I'm calling…Yes, that's exactly what I saw."

Alice's voice was very hard and her lips were pulled back from her teeth. "It's a bit late for that, Rose. Save your remorse for someone who believes it!" Alice snapped her phone with a clat.

Her eyes were tortured as she turned to face me.

"Alice." I asked quickly, before she spoke and her words died on her lips, "Alice, Carlisle is back, though. He just called before…"

She stared at me blankly. "How long ago?" She asked hollowly.

"Half a minute before you showed up."

"What did he say?" She really focused now, waiting for my answer.

"I didn't talk to him." My eyes flickered to Jacob.

Alice turned her hurt, penetrating gaze on him. He flinched, but held his place next to me. He put his arm in front of me protectively, shielding me with his body.

"He asked for Charlie, and I told me Charlie wasn't here." Jacob muttered resentfully.

"Is that all?" Alice demanded, her voice like ice.

"Then he hung up on me." Jake spat. A tremor rolled down his spine, shaking me with it.

"You told him, my dad was at the funeral." I reminded.

Alice jerked her head back toward me. "What were his exact words?"

"He said, 'He's not here', and when Carlisle asked where my dad was, Jake said, 'At the funeral.'"

Alice moaned and sank to her knees.

"What's going on, Alice!"

"Miri!" Mikey called.

"Another minute, Mikey!" I yelled back, then to Alice I whispered, "What's going on."

"That wasn't Carlisle on the phone." She said hopelessly.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Jake snarled.

Alice ignored him, focusing on me.

"It was Edward." The words were just a choked whisper. "He thinks you're dead."

My stomach dropped. "Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn't she?" I asked.

"Yes." Alice admitted, her eyes flashing again, "In her defense, she did believe it. They rely on my sight far too much for her to track him down to tell him this! Didn't she realize…or care…?" Her voice faded away in horror.

"And when Edward called her, he thought Jake meant my funeral." I realized. I looked back at Jake for a moment.

Alice looked up at me strangely. "You're not upset?" She whispered.

"Well, it's shit timing, but it'll get straightened out when he calls again. Someone will tell him I'm alive… Won't they?" I trailed off. Her gaze strangled the words in my throat.

Why was she so panicked? Why did she look so strangled with pity and horror? What was it she said to Rosalie on the phone just now? Something about what she had seen…and Rosalie's remorse; Rosalie would never feel remorse if something happened to me. But if she'd hurt her family, hurt her brother…

"Miri." Alice whispered. "Edward won't call again. He believed her."

"I don't…I don't understand. Why won't he call again?" My heart beat faster, raising levels into my throat.

"He's going to Italy."

It took one heartbeat for me to comprehend.

When Edward's voice came to me now, it wasn't the voice I heard in my ear, it was a memory. Words from so long ago, almost a lifetime ago.

Well, I wasn't going to live without you, he'd said so casually as we watched Romeo and Juliet die, here in my home. But I wasn't sure how to do it…I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi… you don't irritate them. Not unless you want to die.

"No!" I felt blood rush to my ears, my chest constricted as I realized what she had seen. "I told him not to do that! He wouldn't! I told him I'd kill him, if he did! He can't do that!"

"He made up his mind as soon as your boyfriend confirmed that it was too late to save you."

"But he… he left! He can't act like this and not be here." I said in strangled voice. "He knew I was going to have a life without him! And that has to include a death too!"

"I don't think he ever planned to outlive for long," Alice said, quietly.

"Well, fuck him!" I crossed my arms, I felt Jake's muscles relax around me. I felt tears rise in throat. "If he had any respect for me, he wouldn't! So you'll just have to call him. Or Carlisle. To talk him out of it."

She was shaking her head. "That's the first thing I tried. He left his phone in a trash can in Rio—someone else answered it…," she whispered hoarsely. "Miri, please. He's my brother."

I rubbed the tears away from my eyes. "You said before we had to hurry? Hurry how?"

"Miri, I—I don't think I can ask you too…" She trailed off in the indecision.

"You already asked me!" I reminded her, "So either go take care of it yourself, or…"

She took one of my hands in hers, her fingers flexing sporadically to emphasize her words. "We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volutri…and asking to die." We both cringed. Jake's muscles tensed again. "It all depends on what they choose. I can't see that until they make a decision.

"But if they say no, and they might—Aro is fond of Carlisle, and wouldn't want to offend him—Edward has a backup plan. They're very protective of their city. If Edward des something to upset the peace, he thinks they'll act to stop him. And he's right they will."

I clenched my jaw at her words. As much as I didn't want to see him, I didn't want him to die either.

"So if they agree to grant his favor, we're too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies…we might have enough time."

I looked at Jake and then to her, "I have to go, don't I?"

"Listen, Miri! Whether we are in time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi City. I will be considered his accomplice if he's successful. You will be a human who not only knows too much, but smells way too good. There's a very good chance that they will eliminate us, all three of us—though in your case, it won't be a punishment, it will be dinnertime."

I swallowed hard, "That's it? I've had math tests with more on the line. I'm not afraid of a vampire mafia, I'm tough. But you afraid of getting a little murdered, that's surprising." I don't think I sounded as convincing as I wanted to.

"I'm only afraid of getting you killed."

"I almost gonna die, waiting here. At least there…" I took Jake's hand in my free one. "What do I need to do?"

"Leave Charlie a note. I'll call the airline."

"My dad!" I squeaked.

Not that my presence would protect him, Prissy, or Little Mikey, I couldn't leave them alone to face…

"Miri!" Little Mikey whined! "Hurry up, I'm almost on level 4!"

Horrified, I looked at Jake. "I'm not going to let anything happen to them." He said in a low, angry voice. "Screw the treaty."

I kissed him.

"Hurry, Miri!" Alice interrupted.

I ran into the kitchen, rifling through the drawers as I searched for a pen. A smooth, brown hand held one out to me.

"Thanks." I mumbled, pulling the cap off with my teeth. He silently handed me the pad of paper we wrote our phone messages on.

Dad and Pricilla, I wrote. There's been an emergency. Edward's in trouble, I'm with Alice. You can kill me when I get back. I'm sorry. I'll be back soon. Love you, Peachy Cream

"Don't go," Jacob whispered. The anger was gone now that Alice was gone.

I couldn't waste time arguing with him, or agreeing with him. "Please, please, please take care of them." I said as I dashed out of the kitchen to the front room. Alice was waiting for me in the doorway with a bag over her shoulder.

"Get your wallet—you'll need ID. Please tell me you have a passport. I don't have time to forge one."

I nodded, and raced up the stairs. I didn't actually have a passport, I'd never even left the west coast before. Ivywood was a destination vacation spot, on the beach, and to the north of us were the mountains. So I wasn't like I needed one. My mom had a five minute idea to get married to Steve in Mexico, but as soon as I got the paperwork she'd decided on a Justice of the Peace Wedding so I recycled it.

I tore through my room. I stuffed my wallet, a clean t-shirt, and sweatpants into my backpack, and then threw my toothbrush and medicine on top. I was not going to be a contact wearer this week. So I packed my glasses case and cleaner too.

"Where are you going?" Little Mikey asked from the doorway of our parents room, where my dad set up the game system because it didn't work with the dinosaur down stairs.

"Out. I'll be back soon. There was an emergency. We'll play soon. I promise" I said as I raced down the stairs the feeling of déjà vu. Only this time I'd run away to escape monsters, not to find one—I couldn't even tell my dad goodbye in person.

Jake and Alice were locked in some kind of confrontation in front of the open door, standing so far apart you wouldn't even assume they were having a conversation. Neither seemed to notice my reappearance.

"You might control yourself on occasion, but these leeches you're taking her to—" Jake furiously accused her.

"Yes. You're right, dog." Alice snarled, too. "The Volturi are the very essence of our kind—they're the reason the hair on your head stands on end when you smell me. They're the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I'm not unaware of that."

"And you're brining her to them like she's a six pack of Natty Light!" He shouted.

"You think she'd be better off if I left her here alone. With Victoria stalking her?"

"We can handle the redhead."

"Then why is she still hunting?"

Jacob growled, and a shudder rippled through his torso.

"Stop!" I shouted, "Argue later, we have a life to save. So I can kill him!"

Alice turned towards the car, disappearing in her haste, I followed her, pausing automatically to urn and lock the door.

Jake caught my arm with a shivering hand. "Please, Miri. I'm begging."

His dark eyes glistened with tear. A lump filled my throat.

"Jake, I—"

"You don't have to go. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie, and Pricilla, and Mikey. And for me."

The engine of Carlisle's Mercedes purred; the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved impatiently.

I shook my head. Tears spilling from my eyes, and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm only going because he's her brother. Nothing more!" I told him breaking apart.

"Don't die, Mir." He choked out. "Don't go. Don't."

What if I never saw him again?

The thought pushed me to quiet tears, a sob broke in my chest. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, our tongues intertwined. He put his big hand on the back of my hair, as if to hold me in this moment for as long as possible.

"I'll be back, Jake. I promise." I pulled away. I couldn't look at the disappointment in his face, I grabbed his hand and kissed his palm. "I'm sorry."

Then I turned and raced for the car. The door to the passenger side was open and waiting. I threw my backpack over the headrest and slid in, slamming the door behind me.

"Take care of them!" I turned to shout out the window, but Jake was nowhere in sight. As Alice stomped on the gas and—with the tires screeching like human screams—spun us around to face the road. I caught sight of a shred of white near the edge of the tress. A piece of shoe.

...

Soooo, a quick chapter. And if you're wondering who's watching Little Mikey, Jake wasn't the only wolf at the Swan residence remember! I have about 30% left of the book and while I was hoping to be on book 3 by this point, I think I'll save my hopes for 2021. And I know, we want Jake and Miri to be endgame, but I'm in the mood for some yearning. Some pride-and-prejudice-style-hand-flexing-yearning. I've said it before and I've said it again, I want this love triangle to hurt, so im making an impossible decision, because I want something like that. And who doesn't like a bit slow burn on their fanfiction romance sundae? I know I do. Don't worry, Miri won't just jump back into Edward's grasp or a relationship with him (she's not that kind of flip flopping ass bitch like some protagonists I know—*bella*), but I have a terrible and mean idea, and I want to write it! Okay, I want to know what Miri should say to Edward in Italy? What should Miri say when she calls Jake from the plane! How will Miri get on the plane without a passport! And because I'm still considering it, if Miri and Jake are together at the end (love triangle—keep up) would they be married? Would they have children? What would they name their children? Same for Edward, if she ends up with him. Do you think she'll end up a vampire? Would there be hybrid? If there were, what would the kids name be? Or will she be with someone else? And who might that be? Is it Mike Newton? Who knows? Would we riot if she ended up with Mike Newton, I'd like to think we would.