I cut off laughing. My grip on Omim loosens, then my hands fall away as I stare at where Killua should have been. He should've..but he's not. I should...be happy? But I'm not. A roiling sense of unease coagulates in my stomach as it dawns on me that I'm alone, with only an ordinary human, in the middle of a place that could kill me.

The haze in my head is still thick. I seal my lips against the fragrance. It still comes in through my nose when I breathe, though, and my heart leaps up a pace when I suddenly realize the edges of things look a bit blurry. The light and shadows bleed into each other and make it look as if the whole forest is breathing.

I look back at Omim. Part me expects him to have disappeared, too, but no, he's still here. He stands waiting for me, a fuzzy smile still on his face.

"They're gone."

My voice sounds faint as I try to express the problem, consumed by the noise of the forest, yet still somehow audible. The strange sound worsens the vertigo and I stagger in place. I'm struck with the feeling I can no longer speak. Even if I do, it'll be eaten by the forest.

"They're not gone. We'll all be reunited soon."

Is it just me, or is he suddenly speaking much clearer?

I stagger another step, and reach out my hand to steady myself on a tree. Tiny mushrooms squeeze between my fingers.

It's okay. Don't be afraid.

I try to focus on Omim. He's gone even more out of focus. It almost looks like the colorful lines on his torso are wriggling. In a passing thought, I think I still haven't had the chance to mess around with his braids.

Not human. Not human? Is he…? It is. He's another.

When I jerk again, now supporting myself with my arm against the infested bark, something tugs at my heel. I look down, but there's nothing but the rough outline of my dirt-covered foot, brown and white.

I need...to get away...go...somewhere I can hide...something's wrong…

Nothing's wrong. Yes, everything is fine. Oh! This one's a baby! Remember the other one? That one was also— Oh right, Ants age differently. He's hardly a baby. He seems rather naive! No, look, he's vile. Do we take him? We can't, look at his selfishness. Omim likes him. That's not reason enough. This one has cruelty in him. I had more than that, and you still took me! That's right! We can't afford another! He doesn't know any better. I think he's fine. We can't destroy an innocent mind. Innocent?

Wha...What is this? I can't hear them, so why can I hear them?

Breaths come shallowly through my nose, my venom sacks so filled to bursting yet I keep making more, drops leaking out and slowly gathering in my mouth. My body is rigid. My feet have gone numb, a similar numbness starting to form in my arm. Instinctively I push away from the tree, and something tugs at my skin. With the gross feeling tethering me, I can't only pull away a short distance.

A white flash and the pulling stops. My balance is thrown and I fall back. My feet refuse to move to catch me, but something else does instead. Something warm.

I reflexively grab onto the warmth, and recognize the feeling of skin. Then the blurriness intensified and my stomach turns as I'm grabbed by a weightlessness, my feet lost from under me. I don't know whether to push away from the person or not. I just wish this scent invading my head would dissolve and let me have my mouth back.

"Sera snap out of it!"

We've stopped. My feet are touching the ground again. I focus on putting strength into them so I can stand straight, but a pair of hands still supports me. The smell...it's faded.

Something whacks my head.

"OW!"

I reach up to guard my skull and sharpen my vision to stare stingers at Killua. He still holds one of my shoulders, his expression no-nonsense.

"Have you practiced using your aura before? Can you use it at all?"

"What?" What's that got to do with anything? "No! I've told you that before!"

"But you can see it, and you keep it contained even though your pores are open. Try to use it."

"What're you getting at? And where'd you go before? You were the one who told me to stick with you and then you went and disappeared! And then I heard voices but they weren't speaking but I could hear them anyway! I'm out! I don't give a rat's ass if there might be other Ants here! I hate this place!"

"If you want to live long enough to escape, listen to what I'm saying and try to use your aura."

"I go along with you because I want to live, but going with you I might as well have just—"

His aura and face sharpen and before I can react he grabs my head with both hands and makes me meet his eyes. "I'm trying. To help you. Try to sense your aura. It's your energy. Your life. It circulates through you. You can feel mine, right? Try to sense yours."

The proximity and his intensity once again steal my speech. His face is close enough that his silent, controlled breaths just barely brush my cheeks. This time, my mouth goes dry. I swallow the remnants of venom and run my tongue over my lips. I try to do as he says.

Killua's aura is like his heat. It swims about the surface of his skin, the tips of it from his palms sinking into my hair, reaching my scalp and making it tingle. I've seen it taut, strangled until it bursts and causes pain, but now it moves in a collected, uninhibited current. Aura's have always looked placid to me, but touching, dwelling on it, I can feel it.

It really does circulate. Like blood.

I stare a bit longer at his eyes like ocean depths, then close mine. Me, I'm not warm. It's why I'm always seeking a mammal's heat. But I do have blood, and I try to focus on that.

Badump...badump…

My chest vibrates slightly with the pulses. I crack open my eyes to watch it. The flimsy transparent thing surrounding me is also visible. It's always been there ever since I can remember. I've hardly thought anything of it. I've certainly never been able to feel it.

...ean no harm. You'll see if you listen.

Badump badump badump

"Fuck!" I hiss.

Killua's voice is demanding when he orders, "Concentrate!"

Without knowing what else to do, I grab Killua's wrists in an attempt to stabilize and go back to my blood. I don't know what to do with the heart in my chest. Should I draw blood? And blood and aura, they're not the same thing. How do I go from one to the other?

You said you like nature. We know you don't destroy it. There's only love in your heart for it. We're the same. You just want to be happy, so join us. Chimera Ants strive to be the best existence, don't they? Join us.

My already tense muscles begin to strain. Killua's hold on my head tightens, and one of his fingers brushes against my ear.

I hear rushing.

Muted. Water rushing. A waterfall? No, more...torrents. Torrenting rain. Flooding. A rushing flood. And it's inside me? Yeah, and...it's...I'm imbued with it. It's in me. It is me.

This is what he means by energy?

"Good. Now harden it."

Harden it? But it's water! How are you supposed to harden water?

It's pointless. We're trying to help you. You want to be free of Killua, of rules, of confinement and expectations— Let us free you.

Why won't those creepy things shut up!? How the hell do they know so much about me? I look up at Killua with gritted teeth. He's dead serious, and for once I'm grateful for it.

"You have to use it to guard against it. It can't touch you if you use Nen to stop it."

"What is it?"

"Look at your feet."

I do, and flinch. Caked in dirt, yes. Are my feet white beneath? Yes. But they're covered in soil. What is visible are a ton of white little things like moldy spiderwebs interwoven with the dirt.

"You have to harden your aura so it can't touch you."

I can't! Harden! Water!

Are those web things what're causing these voices? What are they? When'd they get on me? I let go of Killua to reach down and claw them off, but Killua catches my wrists in turn.

"Doesn't work. They'll grow back instantly. You have to push them off with Nen."

Fine! Maybe I can't harden water, but push with it? I can push with torrents. After a second of puzzling how to do it, I shut up areas of flow to channel the rapids to my feet. The result is like disturbing a den of mice. One second they're all sitting there, and the next they burst off my feet in a flurry and vanish.

I wait.

When none of the voices come, my muscles finally relax.

"I did it!" Relief washes over me like a tide, and I look back to Killua, wide-eyed. "I did it! It worked!"

He doesn't get any lighter, though. "You have to cover your whole body with it. It had your arm when I found you. We have to defend against the possibility it might be able to attach to any part of us that's unguarded."

And like the tide, the relief washes back out. "I'm going back! I can't do that!"

"You don't have a choice!" He shoves away my hands, and I explode.

"I never do! I haven't had a choice since I met you! Stop eating humans! Stay close to me! Accept this woman who's got a beef with you! Act like a dandy fucking human until I decide I won't actually kill you! Other animals have it easy! Why'd I have to get stuck in all of this when they can all eat fuck and kill whenever they want? I can't means I can't fucking do it!"

I'm trembling. Can I just say it's because I'm angry? Because I didn't know fear could be like this. Killua with pointed nails pressing into my skin ready to dig out my heart the second I breathed wrong, I thought that was fear. But that was the strong dominating the weak. That was the way of nature. This…

I have no fucking clue what this is.

Killua doesn't react. He just watches me tremble. After a moment, he looks around. Still focused on the buzzing, watching forest, he says, "For now, keep doing what you did just now whenever it touches you, and keep trying to cover yourself fully. Chances are we won't be able to just go back to Chwara. Something separated us. Running blind, I managed to pick up your aura just barely, but Naii ran off the second we realized we lost you and Omim, and I haven't felt her since. Whatever it is has Omim under its thumb, so unless we run into Naii, it's just us.

"Our first priority is survival. The investigation is on hold. Let's see if we can find a place to clear out some plants, since they seem to be the problem. I thought we could take to the trees, but those roots came out of the one you put your arm on. If clearing an area fails, we'll try the river. But from here on out," he's still not looking at me when he suddenly takes one of my hands, "we can't lose contact. I managed to find you this time, but don't count on getting lucky a second time."

He picks a direction and begins to walk, and I'm dragged along. I try to focus on regulating my venom sacs.

"...and sorry."

I grip his hand for dear life.

Part of me feels bad for scaring Sera. I kinda adore him and wish only good things for him, but he's neither in a situation that allows for that nor the kind of person that invites good things. He'd probably find my babying pathetic, anyway. That is, until it got him out of a situation like this. Then he'd be all for it. But no. I have to be strong. The story must go on!