SerenityxEndymion: Luna's words were based on her overthinking things which is why Usagi responded as she did. Telling Usagi to think about the royal line when it was just that a kiss, nothing else was to much. If Usagi had truly been dating him for a while and been absolutely done with Mamoru then I could see it but not at this time. The way the girls are viewing it is basically telling her to be friends but to still see how Mamoru is with things cause they just want to be supportive of her. her neighbors don't know what is really going on cause Tyler isn't saying much other than their friends. Yes he wants more but he's not pushing for more. Usagi's reasoning for punching Tyler out of ego is more of a curious theory that she hopes isn't true. She wants his reasoning to be for her but isn't used to his flattery in any form so she doesn't know quite how to handle it. which is also a reason why she's going back and forth cause she's not used to him fighting for her, therefore the way he's doing it is stunning her. and yeah Rei with a bandage on her nose was funny to write to. lol and Rei did take usagi's words into serious consideration. And why her reasoning to encouraging the brat to act out is yes stupid, but for her it was a childish reason that gave her the slightest bit of a smile to see it. as for the future stuff, Rei made an assumption but yet again it was incorrect. I could see if that would work. And yes the blonde haired man is one in the same. Wink! Lol as for usagi finding out about the brat's problem, I haven't written that part out yet but I do have to do it just right.
Rjzero00: absolutely, luna's concern would be worthwhile to note IF Usagi and her were at that point but their not even close. Luna's reasoning comes down simply to being slightly still stuck in the old ways of thinking. She feels it is somewhat her business since Usagi is the last heir to the royal moon line and things are up in the air to her eyes right now. Luna is in a sense taking it upon herself to try to ensure the strongest for the line to handle the silver crystal even though its not her responsibility nor necessary. At this point she's just trying to tread carefully to avoid pissing Usagi off again and wind up back in the same position. As for power being all that matters to her, no not really, its more like her being worried that anyone born as just human with NO power royal bloodline couldn't handle the power of the crystal. I imagine its something along those lines along with her past way of thinking. And I had to laugh at the brainwashed gigolo. Lol I'll have to re-read some of that, I didn't remember that the golden crystal needed Usagi's help to unlock it. I thought it was already his and he just had to re-connect with it. as for Rei yes when it can come down to it she thought the worse because of what she saw but thankfully finally was able to see past her own thoughts on it. she got lost in her own negativity and let it affect her friendship with Usagi. And your right the outers weren't mentioned at that point, however I do believe the outers when they did appear they stated that they weren't allowed to leave the outer planets unless there was a great enough threat that required their assistance. Which is why they didn't appear till the death busters came in and since pluto is a part of the outer senshi as well as the keeper of time I think she saw the different scenario's that could be played out and knew that the past and future coming together could take out Wiseman and Nemesis. The Queen and her guard would have done so had Chibi Usa NOT have taken the crystal at the exact moment they were attacked. Cause if I recall correctly the outers stayed still and watched as Beryl's army defeated the moon kingdom, not helping in that battle either. My theory is pluto received her orders from chronos, her father, to NOT interfere or send word to help cause there was another option Queen Serenity used at the time which was when she sent everyone to the future. It stopped the war in mere minutes but took her life. So in the 30 century future the outer senshi I believe never received word of what had happened cause of the option to bring Usagi and the other from the past that Pluto chose to avoid involving them just yet. That's my theory anyways.
LoveInTheBattleField: thanks.
Princesakarlita411: oh yeah definitely.
Oracle Sybil: yes that first part is very true, it would hold no relevance, but she wouldn't have matured as she did while being a senshi either. And while agree about the past life thing in this they are trying to gain back what was stolen from them in the past life by making it work or trying to in this one. Beryl in their past life 'stole it' in a sense when she became infatuated with Endymion and the power being with him held. Then Metallia got in her head and magnified that ten-fold. On the jerk with Mamoru part, that depends on which version, anime, yes, but only up till a certain point. She did start to crush on him even in the anime she just didn't know what her feelings were. Like when she 'spied on rei and mamoru's one date for her protection' I believe it was really cause she had been crushing on him to but didn't know how to identify her own feelings since as far as she was concerned he didn't like her, which he did which was why he 'dated' Rei to begin with, so she didn't want to admit it even to herself. Hence the constant use of jerk regarding him and he 'odango' regarding her. the had pet names for each other even if in the beginning they weren't intended for that. in the manga they were friends I believe and in the anime they were friends that turned into romantic interests towards each other before they discovered their secret identities. Now, I do agree that the past shouldn't affect the current future, in this case there are only certain variables that are but only in the case of wanting to get what was stolen from them in the past, not to re-live every moment or to be like 'I liked him then let us have this now' more like 'I like him now, I found out we both loved each other then so let us have our moment finally' type of thing. As for the mamoru sweet scent thing, that is taken directly from the manga and SMC, where he has her pink bunny handkerchief and holds it close to his face to smell her scent on it. she does something similar with his pocket-watch that he gives to her in a way. She holds it close to her form and face as a keepsake in the manga. So I didn't find that creepy at all. I found it sweet that they were in a way bonding in the same way without even knowing it. to me its sort of like when your in a relationship you sleep in your boyfriends t shirt because his scent is still on it and you want to smell that subtle scent before going to sleep especially if he's not there. He was trying to be romantic with her about missing her scent. And yes for all that she's done she deserves better than what she was previously given. As for if their past selves never got involved they wouldn't be together, I don't believe that. in my theory the past selves just gave another way for them to be together. I think they always would have gotten together eventually. It was just a matter of time before the magnetism got to them both. Just my opinion though. Whew sorry for the long message back. lol
Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig: exactly which is why their going to be working at it.
kera69love: Rei or Usagi?
mtillm21: that was more or less to give another for instance. She's giving a slight comparison but not really if that makes sense. She was trying to state that there were some common grounds and similarities but that was about it. they were still totally different situations and totally different reasons for what happened in both. She was just making mental notes of how they did parallel each other so that she could make better decisions in the future and so that she could see things from different POV's herself and not just hers.
Guest (1): she does love Mamoru she just questions a bit thanks to everything that happened which anyone would.
Guest (2): it's a temporary fix on her, so yes and no.
karseneau1: thanks.
Astraearose-silvermoon: wow that's awesome, I hope you liked it.
Kasumi Yawa: they will get to talk I just got done with that chapter. And it's a whole chapter to it to.
InuKaglover4ev22: while I do agree with that to a degree in this case cause I've met people like this, it takes someone who's opinion really matters, like in his case Usagi's, for them to see that the perception they had form others not only wasn't the only one but wasn't the best either and had more flaws than the one he could have been following. So for his its not an excuse but to others it can be seen that way. As for her justifying his actions, she feels the guilt from it herself, so she knows it not all his fault. Its why she talked to him later on that night, she felt guilty for not only the kiss but for not talking to him beforehand about her relationship dilemma. She did want to talk to him but he wasn't ready to hear her yet, she tried to talk to him a few times but he was still defending his actions and Chibi Usa's and it made her realize that they needed the space. she even tried to talk to the girls before she blew up but she was met with dismissals. And yes in some cases being with one person your whole life works out and for the best to, I've never run into anyone like that but all the more power to them. as for the whole weekend thing, while she could get an excuse to stay the weekend she wants to make sure he doesn't get any ideas about having her there for the weekend. She wants to talk and he's already made a few indications of what he hopes will happen and she's keeping a firm leash on making sure that that doesn't happen even though she wants it to, it's just not time for that yet. That's why she declined the weekend for him. as for Rei, yes it was a long time coming but it was needed. I really do believe that, if they had talked about this beforehand then majority of this stuff being dealt with now wouldn't be an issue between her and the girls. Or even mamoru.
14 reviews, that's nice, I'm actually starting to get down to the wire here, I think I'll be either at 30 chapters or just under it, not sure yet, but please keep reading, and review please!
Breaking point ch.22
Rei POV
Usagi and I had just spoken about everything. Though I avoided telling her about the problem with Chibi Usa. We had other things to talk about and that didn't even come to mind to be honest. Plus, the 'request' text from Minako telling me that we were keeping it from her for now and her reasons why had me understanding and disagreeing with her on it. On one hand I understood the reasons that she gave me.
I had a brief chance to read it while Usagi was using the restroom. It was actually pretty valid which for something of this magnitude made sense. However, and this is the part I was struggling with, the old part of me wanted to tell her for vindictive reasons. For selfish reasons and that was also why I hadn't spoken to her on it. I knew that if I were going to, I'd have to be a valid reason to do so.
I had just gotten past so much with her in the past few hours, days really…that I just KNEW that if I voiced it things would change and for the worse. I could feel it in my bones. So, I accepted the 'request' which through text sounded more like an order as Usagi came back in. She had told me so much about what she felt and what had been happening. We got everything out on the table that she had talked to the other girls about and it felt honestly liberating to hear her and to have her tell me.
I hadn't expected that feeling. I hadn't thought that talking or rather listening to her about everything would open up my eyes to so much useful and needed information as it had and yet it did. I felt upset but not at her, at myself. I had been a horrible friend and sister to her. I had misjudged so much regarding her so the fact that she still wanted to work on our friendship for me brought on a new level of respect for her that I wouldn't have initially given her. That was more so on me though and not her.
She deserved it though and more cause had I been in her place, I'd have written her off in way less time. I might have, had our roles had been reversed, might have kicked her out as a senshi and sought a replacement. It just went to show me the level of compassion and forgiveness she held to still treat me as she did and not give up on getting me to see the truth and how my own actions were treating not just herself but others. I found myself on a new level of humility that I knew I needed to feel.
I wasn't the big bad ass that I thought I was. I wasn't always right, and she showed me I needed to own up to my mistakes as she had. Plus, I knew things were already on the right path when I could hear my inner Martian telling me things here and there. It was as if the whispers that still were whispers were stronger and clearer. I felt like I had a better connection to my powers even but…I had to work at it.
I had a feeling the other girls wouldn't feel this though. Usagi and I were more removed from each other than they were from her. I had fallen pretty far back. So far back that the one person besides Minako that should have sensed Usagi's distress, that should have felt her inner princess but didn't, was me. I should have felt it all. I should have sensed it but because I admittedly had my head up my own ass for a bit, I couldn't feel it.
It was sad to say the least that when you have the power to sense certain things and yet you let other negative emotional crap consume you, you lose touch with that part of yourself and find that you've missed a LOT when the person you should have been able to sense and feel from the start had to tell you AFTER she kicked your ass. So, I knew we weren't back to normal yet. We wouldn't be for a long while, but we were at a starting point.
That was something I was grateful for. I did have to admit though, she kicked my ass pretty easily, and hopefully she WOULDN'T tell the other girls, but I'd understand if she did. I deserved it. I deserved all of it. The anger. The condemnation. I deserved her wrath to a degree and yet she showed me sympathy and I started to feel that level of myself that I had been ignoring. The level that allowed me to connect deeper within myself and allowed me to connect with her deeper to. I could also sense her now.
Deeper than before when we knew she was in trouble. Like now as civilians I could sense it just a bit when we were close by. It was humbling to be honest and something I would be grateful for from her since she didn't give up on me…on us. Turns out her stubbornness is far greater than mine and I'm glad for it. I got to see things I've wanted to see for so long now and it is because of her. Does part of me still resent the fact that it had to take her beating me in a hand to hand fight to get me to see things as they were?
Does part of me hate that yes, I will be serving to her as my Queen while I'm still a senshi in the future? Does part of me still feel that she shouldn't be leader that it should be me? I sighed knowing the answers to all. While beforehand I was beyond pissed to a degree that she beat me now that I had had time to reflect…I was glad to be honest that she beat me, she showed me that she was capable of handling herself in a fight and in her civilian form no less. It's what I had initially wanted her to learn before my issues got in the way of things.
I'm glad that I'm serving as her senshi in the future not just because of the future that I hope to still someday achieve, not because the fate of the universe needs us, but on a more personal note, and one that ties in with the last question, because she's our leader for a reason. It's not simply because she's the bearer of the silver crystal. It's because she makes the hard decisions that we may think are easy.
She feels the decisions. She takes everyone even the ones I would have originally written off she takes them all into account. Even if they've hurt her. In many ways to. Perhaps there was validity to her comparing me to Ann a bit after all. Granted I didn't have to be 'saved' by her crystal, but she did open my eyes to the truth. She chose to still let me fight as a senshi by letting me have my transformation stick when she could have taken it from me.
She could have shunned me as I would have her, had things been reversed. She could have NOT have decided to match me stubborn for stubborn and shone me see her side of things by not only doing what she did but by letting me be by myself for all this time to let me see how our actions affect others. I saw that now. She made the hard decisions that I thought I was making. She was the one making them the whole time.
Knowing now the hard decision that she made to see past the Diamond crap that happened and see what was really going on. That took courage and a deeper level of meaning to see that and NOT use her powers to kill him on site when she was able to transform again. She learned so much more than what I had thought and now here I was being humbled and learning from her as my leader. As my friend…and hopefully someday as my sister….again. I just knew what she had to talk to me about next would be a game changer, I just didn't know why.
Usagi POV
Once we had so much aired out and talked about, I knew I felt ten pounds lighter. Plus, for some odd reason I was also glad that we had the fight to start off with. It felt needed. Especially with it just being us both here alone. It felt necessary. Fight first then talk it out. And we did. We still had a ways to go before we were sorted out and even longer to being back to being good but we were on our way and that was progress as far as I was concerned.
This is when I knew it would be a good time to ask her about the issue regarding Chibi Usa and abuse of her powers. I laid it out for her, the idea that I had discussed with the girls. Saw her features as she looked almost guiltily at me before changing her expression completely and driving me away from that thought process by saying, "I can definitely do it and considering how little control she has over them right now I think it is necessary."
Her not only acceptance of the idea but her outward encouragement of my idea had me feeling hope once more. "Good, I just need one stipulation in it and that's for when she does go back to the future that the spell doesn't follow her. It's only active in this time." Rei nodded seeing where I was going with this request. "And it lets out more of her powers the more she's able to control them." I said.
"Like the spell will sense when she had gained more control over them." Rei stated, as I nodded, "Exactly. Her parents have the means to deal with her powers, they must have in order to work with her in the future thus far, but we don't. Their technology is far more advanced than ours, we've all seen it." Rei agreed as we both knew how much more technologically advanced, they were compared to us here.
It was astounding and mind blowing to say the least. For Chibi Usa to grow up there and know THAT as home, should have her being more humbled by how I, her future mother, grew up in this life. Apparently, that wasn't something in her mind frame and that was something even I had to learn. Now it was her turn. "I text the girls and Mamoru, can you prepare what we'd need for the fire?" I asked.
"Sure thing. I might have to dip into the special herbs for this one." Rei got up and went to see what all she'd need for this one as I sent out to the girls a mass text that 'Rei was on board' and to 'come on over to help with the binding issue'. They agreed and would all be there within the hour. Then I sent a text out to Mamoru…I didn't know how to put it nicely other than 'come to the temple, we need to talk about binding Chibi Usa's powers'. So that's what I texted him. It took a minute for him to respond but he eventually said, 'on my way'.
I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he delayed on responding right away. I wondered if he was in classes and had to hide the text or something. Nearly a full hour later, as Rei and I tried idle chit chat to pass the time by. Something that wasn't easy with all the heavy hitter stuff we had discussed just a small bit of time ago, made even worse when you really didn't have much to talk about.
Before the silence could get any worse the girls started to arrive one by one till it was the five of us again. It had been so LONG since we'd all been together as the five of us. I think the last time was actually when I left them all right here in the very place at the temple. Minako even had Artemis with her. I briefly wondered if he contacted Luna at all as I had forgotten to when she showed up.
I could tell she had reservations about binding Chibi Usa's powers but held her tongue as she was merely a guide to us and not the leader. It was when Mamoru came up the steps that he saw us all. He at first appeared disheartened that we were all here, then he saw me and looked hopeful again. Was it too much to have a small amount of hope that he was dishearten that all the girls were here, and it wasn't a one on one with me…?
I tell him the very plan once he reaches us that I presented to the girls. He looks to them then to me. There's a weird tension around me, something I can't quiet put my finger on before he breaks it by asking, "Hold on, do you really think that we can't control her powers?" like he's struggling with the idea. I knew he'd be the hardest to convince. He did have that weird special bond with her that came from several places.
One because they were both from one kid homes, two because he coddled the living hell out of her when she got here, making me wish more and more often that she'd stayed in the future, and three because of the bloodline I found out that he had this odd connection to her, almost like see visions whenever they came into physical contact. Granted those visions were of me in the future but still he had that weird connection with her.
It did grate on my nerves sometimes especially with that whole 'protecting me by breaking up with me' thing but I digress. So, I knew he'd be the most resistant but after he heard WHY we were doing this I was HOPING he'd see reason. "We haven't been able to so far so no, and look at what she does, knowing what were limited in doing." He had to at least see our perspective here or rather my perspective on why.
This could either help us to in the end or it could break us completely. He had to see why I was doing this, understand it and want to help out. "Or rather how she continues to treat me and how it used to be with you guys. Even to the point of putting us at odds with each other." The girls nodded to my left and right as they agreed with me. "She doesn't do it to be malicious…" at least I sincerely hope that wasn't the case.
Like what in the hell did I do in the future to warrant her treating me like a stick of gum under her shoe? Was I THAT BAD of a mother?! Seriously the last time we saw her BEFOR E she came back; she was all about saving her mom yet now… "But to get her way. It's something kids tend to do when they feel they can get away with it and something tells me she wouldn't EVER do this stuff at home." That was a strong feeling I had on that one though. I just knew she wouldn't dare try this crap at home.
That was when Makoto added on, "She essentially is using everyone to various degrees to get what she wants much like a child would attempt to without a parental figure there to give her ass a good beating…" I looked over to her as I mutually agreed. I knew I was a decent kid growing up cause my mother put the fear of not kami – sama, but of HERSELF into me. I was more afraid of upsetting her than even father when I was younger.
"Think about it, no one here has ever truly given her a spanking." Granted I did once to her when she used a sleeping potion on my friends to look for the silver crystal, before we knew who she was but still, she lost control of her powers when I did that. "No one has ever told her no." I tell him. I can sense the girls agreeing with me from my sides. "She weasels it out of someone eventually." I continue on, hoping that he'll listen to reason.
"She knows there's the threat of losing control of her powers and while she's afraid of it herself a little bit she sees how we started to coddle her over it. Look on how much it's happened before." My words I can tell hit Mamoru as he thinks on it now to. "It's not a bind on all of her powers, just the ones that can cause devastating harm to an unsuspecting nearby innocent or alert evil in the area that she's a power future being, which she is." We look to Ami as she speaks to him now, trying to reason with him.
"She's the product of the earth and moon coming together, that type of power level in a child is not measured by our technology. We don't need another Wiseman getting his hands on her." Her words were very true, and he had to see that. "Mamoru I'm not saying to bind them all because that would be irresponsible and put her in harm's way to…" I tell him trying to see if he'll help out as Minako comes forward.
"Think about it this way Mamoru, Usagi, before she was discovered as the princess only had her powers as a senshi. She was still learning and developing how to use them. She had to train as we did to learn to control them. Essentially were putting Chibi Usa through the same thing only we have to limit her powers unless it's an emergency for her to use them." I saw him shifting, trying to find a potential dispute in our logic but I knew he saw seeing none. Otherwise he would have verbally disputed this by now.
"Usagi she's our child how can you even think to do this to her. It's like stripping away a part of who she is." Spoke to soon…so to speak. "In the future yes, she's our child, right now though, she's a kid that is out of her element and forcing us to be in hers. That's not how this works." He had to see that. "She's not alone and she is at home. She does have people around her that love her DESPITE how she acts." Cause believe me while I do love her, I don't like this future child of mine and it mentally and emotionally hurts me.
She makes me feel like I'm a bad parent, but I know there's got to be more to it. I mean how does one go from doing manipulative things, anything she could think of to save her mother in the future, yet when faced with her past self, me, in the past she acts as though she could give a furry rat's ass less unless it revolved around her own future. There wasn't a lot of logic in it, so this was needed, and we had to get to the bottom of things.
"We can train her as we train ourselves, no problem but she cannot have access to all of her powers till she learns how to control them the same way we did with ours. I'm not cutting her off for good, just until she utilizes control and respect of them and of those who have powers to." I tell him. I can tell he takes a decent amount of time to think on it as he looks to the girls then to me, "Okay." He accepts.
I need to be sure though, "Mamoru in order to make sure this works properly we ALL have to agree and be focused. I need the reason why you agree to help is because you understand where I'm coming from and because you believe in what I'm accomplishing with this." this needed clear minds. Not ones clogged with doubt or confusion. This was a powerful spell of sorts we were about to put our energy into.
"I don't want her to be completely defenseless far from it, she needs access to her powers no doubt, but she needs to also hold respect for her powers and respect those that have ones that are stronger than hers so that she can learn to counter attack an enemy who can be stronger than her. She needs to acknowledge that there are other powerful beings out there that are trying to teach and help her." I tell him.
He nods as we begin to walk into the temple, "Okay so I don't want to side blind her. She is of the Lunarian and Terrian lineage and deserves to know the truth however, this is going to happen." I tell them as we all come inside. "If she can see the fault in her ways and with Minako's powers can sense a genuine sorrow and remorse from her than she will be granted more of her powers to work with but if not, a much limited version of her powers will be granted." Minako nodded on her end.
"We will not take away her ability to transform when it's needed or her attack power during that. Only the rest." I assure him once more as he gets in touch with Chibi Usa and gets her to come over to the temple. She happily agrees and presumably tells my parents that she's going over to the temple. If I know my parents, they won't mind since it's not too far from home. Seeing her a good fifteen minutes later running up the steps feels both sad and satisfying at the same time and I sigh in response once she sees all of us there.
Rei has already lite the fire so that she can get mentally prepared for this bit were doing. She spent her time gathering the right herbs to make sure it would go smoothly. I could tell we were still treading a fine line in our friendship, but things definitely felt a bit differently and lighter around her. It put me at a slightly more elevated ease as the pink spawn of myself came through the door and happily sat in Mamoru's lap.
She even gives me a pointed look, as if wondering if I'll say something about it. I sighed, there would time for that coming up. "Is Rei doing a fire reading?" she asks us. The girls get quiet and look to me as Mamoru tells her in a solemn voice, "Something like that, listen before Rei begins, we need to have a chat with you." I crouch down in front of her, therefore in front of Mamoru on my knees to be at her level.
"Chibi Usa we need to have a conversation." I knew in my heart of hearts that I loved this child very deeply. She was the product of both Mamoru and myself. She looked like me and sometimes she acted full on like Mamoru, yet there was this other part of her that was just plain her and that part needed to be whopped into shape. Metaphorically though possibly literally speaking now to.
"Listen Chibi Usa things haven't been good for a while and I think you know this…" I begin, I tell her the shorter version of how I was feeling from her. From what she did, how she acted, the stress and overall affect her actions on and how it had impacted on the relationships the girls had with me and her. I made it shorter than the talk with the girls cause she was a child and their attention spans from people they really didn't want to talk to or hear from could be very short and I had several points to hit.
I could see the anger rising in her features as I finished off, I could actually feel the mental daggers she was shooting at me. She nearly leapt up from her seated position in Mamoru's lap, "This is stupid! I don't need this! If you're in your feelings that's not my problem!" she snapped and tried to stomp off. Makoto was the one that caught her since Mamoru got to stunned by her actions and words to counter it and hold on.
He wasn't used to her actually acting out as I was. Makoto held her down in place, Chibi Usa was visibly peeved off. We needed to do this before she lost control of her powers, "What's going on? Why am I the one being talked to? What's this about?" she demands of me as I know she's feeling boxed in. "What's going on is how you act isn't working anymore. You can't behave as you have." I begin to tell her.
"You're being talked to because your actions aren't always appropriate and have caused a bit of discord among us. I want to know why. Why do you act this way? Why do you treat me with such distain? Did I do something to you in the future cause I have this strange sense that you'd NEVER act out this way in the future." I tell her, as I ask her to be honest and tell me the truth as I did to her.
I saw the fear hit her eyes. The sinking notion of reality settling in that her days of milking the train were ending. She was no longer going to be getting the 'free ride' she had been on and she knew it now. That's when I see the shift within her. She was going for the tried and true waterworks. The one thing that nearly always got her, her own way. This time however it wasn't going to work.
She balls her eyes out. She cried loud enough to send the crows cawing from the loud high-pitched sound. I wonder when her powers will erupt as she does this but then see how she realizes no one is coming to stop this. No one is coming to her defense. The crying seems to dissipate as she as she looks around. She begins to look at the girls now as they were the enemy for not obeying her to rescue her from me punishing her.
That wasn't how this was going to go through. "The truth will set you free." I tell her, as I see her become redder faced than she already was. Didn't realize that was even possible. So, her next words shocked us all into a near stupor, "I hate how I feel!" there was a shadow of bitterness that seemed to take over her. Makoto lightened up a little on her hold but still kept a firm grasp on her.
"I'm supposed to be the crown princess of crystal Tokyo, future ruler of earth and the moon and I can't even get a proper attack out. I hate that I feel weak as a senshi cause I'm supposed to be better than you. I want to be better than you!" I could almost sense a hate towards me in her words, her tone delivering this anger than I didn't know a child could actually hold. Especially not one that all the proper training at her fingertips that I didn't have.
"I'm alone here. I have you all around, but I want to be at home where I'm used to running around a palace and being around servants who cater to me. Having my friends around and spending time with my parents…" I urge her to keep going. "And I honestly hate that you in the future, sent me to the past now because I know the real reason why." That's when the red face turns deeper. The hate intensifies.
It's almost like a ticking time bomb and it's within her. Thing is she needs to get this out, I just hope we can do it without her powers activating. "It wasn't to have me train, I could have trained in the future, no, I know why you really did it." her anger morphed into genuinely being pissed off at me. She thought that I didn't want her there it the future? She did have a point about the training which made me wonder if she was right.
Was I that bad of a mother to her that I would sent her back to the past just to 'get rid' of her? I wondered if I had that much of a problem handling her even with whatever help I had in the future. Now I was a bit shocked. Was I some sort of selfish Queen in the future when it came to raising my own child? Or was SHE being like this in the future so my 'future self' sent her here to show me what it was going to be like to have her as a child?
My mind wondered on the possibilities of why until I heard her next words. It was all answered for me, "Its because you don't want me around anymore especially since both you and papa in the future have been obsessing over the twins being born soon. You're replacing me because you think I'm not good enough!" it was like a literal shock wave encompassed everyone in the room once the words were uttered.
No one moved. No one even seemed to breathe after she spoke. It was as if Pluto came by and stopped time so that the news could settle in and hit us all. To be honest I felt around for her presence just to be sure but felt nothing. Twins. The one word kept repeated over and over in my head. I was going to have twins in the future. Twins. Twins…it was like I couldn't process words or thoughts for a good few minute, much like the rest of the girls.
It had been enough of a shock to learn that Chibi Usa was our future daughter when we did. I remembered Mamoru and I grew REALLY hot in the face on that one. It was like it was out there that we had had sex. I hadn't even told the girls at that point yet the king saying that was like 'bam!' this however was a new level of 'bam!'. Twins wasn't, as far as I knew, within my family's gene pool or Mamoru's.
So, it definitely made me realize that either he had some strong ass sperm in this life or maybe strong eggs in me but…I was just trying to process things after hearing that. Twins. I felt my heart feel like it stopped beating for a moment, as if it was having a hard time realizing this fact, almost like it was saying 'say what?' or 'can you repeat that?' in disbelief. Then restart all on its own once the words sunk in.
I watch as realization dawns on the face of our future child. Her eyes widen, her mouth forms a near O of shock herself as she clamps her hands over her mouth. As if to stop anything further from coming out. It's too late though. The damage or truth in this case or some of it is out. I can't help but blush a bit, holding onto that bit of control as I look back at Mamoru and see the biggest smile on his face.
There's a hint of blush but it's not anywhere near mine. He looks like he just got the biggest prize ever. In fact, he looks damned near smug about hearing this bit of news. I couldn't help but turn back and lose whatever happy notion I was feeling. If he thought even for one MILISECOND that this guaranteed US as anything more than we were right now, he was in for a rude awakening.
I wish he could hear my next thoughts of…not everything is set in stone! Cause I DIDN'T want him to think that simply by hearing that that he was in good with me. There was still a lot of repair work to do. I looked back at him again and saw his face looking relieved. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. I felt anger at the possible work I had done with him so far having potentially gone out the window.
This was the worst thing that could have happened. Don't get me wrong I LOVED that I was having more kids, I wanted kids. If I could I'd have a half a dozen of them…HOWEVER...for HIM to think that we were all good in the future by gaining this news made me wonder. If he does get this idea that we are all good, it could help me to determine if he's really in this wooing thing for us or for what he just heard. This bit of information just turned into the make or break double edged sword I didn't know I could use.
I knew I had to tell him how I felt still and now this was something more to add to it, however, now wasn't the time for that and we needed to get this resolved. I had to get my head back in the game on this one. "Gonna just push the twin's bit aside for the moment…" I make the motion to temporarily ignore that and instead of asking her questions on it that my mind was already ready to probe I instead asked, "You were acting out mostly towards me to get even with me in the future for sending you here and having more kids?" did that about sum it up?
She nodded confirming what I asked, "I like it at home. My home." The look on her face tells me all I need to know in order to get that. Yes, she has a home here, and yes this is her home but it's not the luxury she grew up in since birth. I was beginning to get a better understanding of why her mother also probably sent her here. "It's nice here to but here no one knows me." that's what this was also.
She missed the attention she received as the crown princess. She was catered to. Though I would have thought that being my daughter that I would want to instill in her the same respectful ways I was raised with. That alone made less sense to me. Did I really let her have her way all the time in the future? "No one treats me the same. I'm just Chibi Usa here, no crown princess, no future royal silver crystal bearer." She finishes.
There was a childish pout on her face. She was used being catered to and back here in the past she wasn't being treated the same. She was learning to do things for herself and while some she liked the rest she didn't like. "I think I know why your mother sent you here." I begin. "Oh, I know why, she told me it was so that I could learn to have a normal life and to understand humility. Whatever that means." She pouted. Okay now things are making more sense. She was being catered to BUT that was ending.
My guess is my 'future self' saw it somehow and insisted she learn as she herself had. It gave me a little bit of reprieve. Her childishness was really coming through and I sincerely hoped to hell I was nothing like her when I was her age. Then again considering how we were both raised on this planet… "She wanted you to learn how to respect others which is something we want to teach you to. You respect the majority of the time the girls and Mamoru but hardly ever for me." I told her.
I could see the knee jerk response before it hit her. It was almost automatic. "You don't deserve my respect!" she nearly leapt from Makoto's arms in her fury but she kept her and her pink haired fury contained, "You in the future sent me to the past so you could have more kids with Mamo - chan." I could actually sense at this point Mamoru was conflicted now himself. Our connection growing yes but right now it was annoying me.
I could feel his confliction of Chibi Usa's words. Part of him happy to hear we were having more and getting sidetracked with those thoughts. It was like I could literally hear the word 'twins' repeating like a damn mantra in his head. The other part was at least on needing to tell our future daughter what she had been doing was wrong. I sent as strongly as I could of a message to him mentally…Would you focus? Get your head in the game!
He snapped his head upwards towards me as if shocked he heard that. I rolled my eyes at him then swiveled my head around back to her. "You don't want me anymore so why should I want you as my mommy anymore?! Why should I treat you with respect when you send me away?" I could see real anger within her form. The tears that were in her eyes weren't crocodile ones, yet they were misplaced ones.
She truly felt that was the reason despite knowing the real one. She just didn't understand. There was however something else I could tell she was upset about, but I knew she had more to say. I just hoped it was whatever else was making her upset, "And you're not going to punish me here because you can't. The girls won't let you." She changed her mood direction from sobbing in tears to a cockiness that bordered bitchiness.
I could visibly see the girls even to my sides sighing in their own failure to having her be punished. It was as if they could see what their own involvement and lack thereof had done over time to. Before they could voice themselves on that she continued with, "And we all know its cause I'm too powerful to handle." Now we all looked to her in bemused shock that she felt that way. If she only knew the power that was held.
"Yeah that's right I've overheard you talking about it in the past." Her face turned into a near snarl. She appeared to mimic the appearance of a vicious hyena backed into a corner. Snapping off at the mouth at the slightest provocation. "I'm more powerful than the great Sailor Moon. The famed warrior of love and justice doesn't hold a candle in power compared to me!" I could tell she was expecting for me to crumble.
Her face was of such cockiness, as if she was the all supreme Queen of the Universe. I was going to so enjoy and yet find it sad to make her see the truth of what she thought was actuality and what wasn't. Plus, I could practically feel it that she was trying to hurt me personally with the information. I saw Minako glaring at her from her own seat alone with a disappointed look from Ami and similarly from Makoto.
Rei just cringed along with Mamoru. I can then visibly see the change on Chibi Usa' face. What was once glee at thinking she won turned into nervousness and wondering of why her words didn't have the effect she was expecting them to. She had no idea that while she held a great power to her, it came from myself and Mamoru. She only had so much power of her own, the majority of it came from the crystals she didn't have access to yet.
I even bleakly wondered if she would have full access to the golden crystal since she had majority birthright to the silver crystal. That was a thought for another time though. Her powers like most everyone, was still limited. However, it was her lack of controlling them that made her someone to be feared. Yet I didn't fear her. It was she who should fear me. After all I was her mother and I could take her out of this world as easily as I put her in it.
I just had to do or rather NOT do one very simple thing and she wouldn't be here. I didn't want to have to threaten her like that though. Before I had the chance to tell her though, her face contorted again. As if the anger was once again morphing into something far more rage inducing, "You know what it doesn't even matter. You're the selfish loser NOT ME!" her words nearly screamed out at the end.
It was as if the emotions that she held buried against me raged out like a river, it was a torrent that just rolled out. It felt unstoppable but told us more of what we needed to know. "I'm younger than you and learning how to be a senshi!" her smarting off attitude wasn't helping her case. She was sounding pompous, thinking she was better than me simply because I put her through training in the future. The fact was though that she also was resentful since she wasn't as far along in her training as she wanted to be.
Oh, did she have a LOT to learn. "I bet that's also why I was sent back here, you in the future saw that I was getting better than you at an earlier age and didn't want me to excel faster than you did. Even in the future you're a jealous selfish LOSER of a mother! All of this is just your sad attempt to reclaim some power pull over me cause we all know I'm more powerful than you!" the words were a spouting mouthful of anger, jealousy and hate all directed at me. She nearly spat at the level of anger directed at me.
I could actually feel Mamoru's disappointment in her. I could even feel it from the girls in the room. I looked over at Minako who held the same expression on her face that I had on mine. I can see that she knows how little remorse Chibi Usa feels for her own actions. Yes, she was angry as children can get but she has no idea how WRONG she is on all of it. Minako sensed what I knew in my gut was the truth.
I didn't want to have to do this, but I knew I had to do this. I nodded as she did. I then turned to Rei who sighed feeling it herself a bit I'm guessing and nods before turning around and facing the fire. Sprinkling the right herbs into it. For this particular binding process to work we needed clear minds and for Chibi Usa's to be cleared out we needed her to expel the truth. The truth will set you free.
Makoto held her in place as Rei began to chant. The girls closed their eyes as they focused their powers as well. After all they needed to help hide the powers of Mamoru and I while we're used as the conduit to help bind her powers in place since she comes from both of us. This way we don't attract any enemies to our planet by letting even the fragments of the bigger powers out and let them be seen.
I can sense all of our planetary symbols light up save for Mamoru since he doesn't really have one. He just glows a golden color as he focuses to. The goal was to box up the really powerful powers that she held till they were needed or until she learned to control them. We made sure to put a tight lock on it that way she couldn't 'open' it herself. It was specifically designed for this so that she could learn and grow.
When we all stop glowing, I know Chibi Usa can sense what has happened to her. The state of her mind must have been freaking out, "What have you done?! I can't defend myself!" I looked to her, "Yes you can still. You can still transform and do so much, but you need to gain better control of your powers as we have." The anger seemed to fade a bit as she looked at her own hands as if trying to sense her powers.
I take her hands into my own, "You must learn to control them. Your mother didn't send you away because you weren't wanted, trust me." I try to give her a small smile despite everything that just happened, "I've always wanted to be a mother and have kids." I ignored the sensation I was getting from Mamoru on his end and wished I could have kicked him outright for some of the thoughts he must have been having.
He wasn't getting the point of my words. I'd have to correct that VERY soon. "But I also was raised to respect my elders and know the meaning of humility. When I became a senshi later on, I had to learn everything the hard way. In battle. Fighting against an enemy at the age of fourteen with no training, no experience and very little help in the form of Luna who at the time I just discovered. It was hard, painful, and yeah scary as hell, but I managed, we ALL managed." That's when she looks around at everyone.
I looked back to see what she must have seen herself. Battle-hardened young women who had fought, died, been reborn and fought more to save this world this universe from evil several times over by now. I could tell now when I looked back at her that she was finally starting to feel a sense of being humbled. Finally. "Now here we are hardened and can handle so much more but you…you shouldn't have to face what we have." I expressed.
"You should be trained little by little in your youth so you can learn to control your powers and still be able to be a normal young child still growing. It's the option we WISH we had." The girls agreed behind me. "She's right, we were thrown into the life of being a senshi." Minako told Chibi Usa. "We didn't pick it, yet we wouldn't have it any other way." She truly looked like a battle hardened second in command.
Nodding towards me as I faced Chibi Usa once more, "None of us in this life had it easy. For all of us there were times where all we had was each other because no one could know of our secrets. Our loved ones couldn't know the sacrifices we made." The girls I could hear them agreeing with me. We could have died, and have died, but we could have died in battle and NOT have been given a second chance and no one would know.
I could definitely see myself making sure she trained as a younger age than I was here in this life so that she wouldn't have so many near touches with death as I had. One could argue that that made me more resilient and tougher, but I digress. "I would have wanted you to train early on, train in a controlled environment and not be thrown into the lion's den." Like I had basically been when I got the call the first time.
"To be shown that your powers can cause damage and know how to use them. Control them and make them work for you and NOT half assing it. What we want for you Chibi Usa is to be better but not for us, for you." I told her. I can tell my words come together for her. I can see it in her face that part of her is ready to accept it, but I can also see that the anger isn't quick to fade for good. I can see that she's stubborn, like me, and doesn't want to let it go just yet. Perhaps not ready just yet, not for all of it.
"No…I want to be better than you without the training. I should be able to do it MY way and not have to do it your way!" she rips her hands from mine as she bolts from Makoto's unsuspecting lap. "I hate you!" yet there's only pain in her voice, some anger sure but no actual hate is in it, and her cry isn't as strong as it was before. She takes off before we can stop her as I hold Mamoru off from following.
"Let her go. She needs this time alone. It's a lot to process…for all of us." I tell him as he reluctantly stays, "At least now we now have a better idea where all of her rage is coming from towards me. I definitely need to talk with her…we both do." I tell him, "After we talk though." He confirms, his eyes hopeful. "Yes, after we talk." I confirm. "We should set up a schedule on training her and keep to it." Minako suggests. I agree, "Set it up and text it to me." I tell her as the girl's part ways.
I go to leave when Mamoru catches my hand. I should have seen this one coming, "Did you want to try to talk a little bit now?" he asks, not releasing my hand. I steel myself as I turn around, "On one topic now yes." He swallows, "Okay…" as I speak, "Make no mistake that yes it was interesting news to find out today…going to be thinking on that a bit later on HOWEVER…" I nearly glared at him as he held his hands up in defense.
"Do NOT in ANY way take what we just learned as 'yey I got her back!' cause it DOESN'T!" he nodded and gulped a bit as I continued, "The future is subject to change. You and I both know that." He again nodded as I pointed my finger at him warningly. "Things could have already changed since she's been gone from the future for a while." That did make him look less excited but at least it tampered down his excitement.
"We don't know so DON'T make any assumptions about us. Things aren't good between us, not by a long shot. The flowers were thoughtful in your own way yes, however…" I pushed my finger into his chest as he stood there with his hands up in defense, "We both know you could easily make them." He pursed his lips together as if irritated that that didn't work out as well as he thought they did.
He seems to accept it but still looked like he was clinging to that bit of knowledge of us having twins. "Usa…" he nearly puts his hands on my shoulders as I'm still close enough to him before I back up to give him space. Preventing his hands from touching my shoulders. "I haven't made any assumptions…" I looked at him with a 'really?' expression on my face. He gives in, "Okay I was thrilled to hear about it, I can't deny that!"
His bold admittance even though I knew it, still stunned me. I hadn't actually expected to hear him say this to me, "To know that we have several kids, it's a dream come true for me, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. Whether we have kids or not I just want you." I grip my fists together as I hold my emotions in check, I don't want him to think that I'm giving in just yet on this. That I'm giving in at all. It's a work in progress.
I can tell he wants to hold me, but I can tell now he sees my gripped fists. He's wary of being hit again and honestly, I'm not sure if I will or won't but I'm glad he keeps his distance. He instead asks me, "Can I see you for the weekend coming up?" I sighed figuring I should have seen this coming. He had been wanting to see me now and had actually been adamant about it. I tried to tell him no through the text but apparently that wasn't direct enough.
"Right now, considering where we are at I think just a Saturday is the best bet. We don't know how things are going to go." He looks a bit defeated like he wanted to have the weekend with me but what was going on, that would be too soon for us. "Okay, it's up to you." He backpedals as he tries to cajole me into the weekend with him, "I just miss you." He admits. I did to. I just miss the man that was BEFORE our future daughter dropped in. Yes, I loved his prince self to but I did genuinely love Mamoru for who he was and it's just that was.
Things changed, he changed when that pink ball of annoyance dropped in. I had thought things would get better after the dark moon clan had been defeated and she temporarily went back home, but that hadn't been the case. He used to be caring, sweet, loving…passionate…that changed slowly but steadily. "I miss how things were between us." I tell him truthfully as I step away and I force myself to walk away from him.