Chapter Twenty-Three
Despite Albus and his clearly delusional observations, Rose pushed it out of her mind and focused on setting up for Charlotte's bachelorette party. Albus didn't understand; what she and Scorpius had was different, and she might even call him her closest friend at this point. But it wasn't love.
Rose knew what being in love was like. She did.
Right?
Nevertheless, Rose and Roxanne spent a long time blowing up pink metallic balloons and cleaning, so she was able to avoid the topic altogether. Charlotte was due to arrive very soon when Skye peeked into the apartment, finding Rose and Roxanne setting out wine glasses on a tray. They exchanged glances as Skye shut the front door behind her and heaved a relieved sigh.
"Oh, thank Merlin," Skye said, tossing her night bag on the floor and plopping down on the couch. "I thought Everett would be here."
"The boys left an hour ago," Rose told her.
"And we've been cleaning and setting up without you," Roxanne added, sending an annoyed glare in Skye's direction. "Where've you been?
Skye sighed again. "I'm sorry, I would've been here sooner. I just wanted to avoid Everett."
"Why?" Rose asked.
"We broke up. Sort of." Skye grabbed a couch cushion and pressed her face into it. "Fuck, it was so bad. I don't even know if we're actually broken up, he kept going on about how he didn't accept the breakup. Fucking stupid."
Rose turned to Roxy. "Did you see Everett earlier?"
"I think so."
"He might not go to the wedding," Skye mumbled into the pillow. As she spoke, the fireplace embers burst into green flames and Ella stepped out, blonde hair flying everywhere.
"I'm so sorry I'm late," she squeaked, dropping her bag beside Skye's. "I had to stay late for work and then my boss wouldn't stop going on and on…" She dropped down onto the couch beside Skye. "I'm so hungry I could eat a Hippogriff."
"It's all good," Roxanne said, sending her a smile. "Rose and I held down the fort."
"Why does Ella get excused for being late?" Skye whined.
"Because she has an actual excuse," Roxy retorted.
"Can we get some food?" Ella asked, grasping her stomach. "In case I wasn't clear, I am starving."
"Shouldn't we wait for Charlotte?" Skye suggested.
"We wait for Charlotte, I will eat you."
"I'm terrified," Skye said sarcastically, making them all laugh; she was easily five inches taller than Ella.
Fifteen minutes later, the flat looked clean, there was an array of makeup and hair items laid out on the coffee table and a tray of wine glasses at the ready in the kitchen. The smell of pizza was very evident, thanks to Ella. When Charlotte's key turned in the lock, the girls quickly ducked behind the loveseat, trying not to giggle.
"What the…?" Charlotte questioned as she walked in.
"SURPRISE!" As the girls jumped up, Charlotte dropped her purse. Unsurprisingly, she immediately teared up.
"Are you surprised?" Ella asked, leaping over to hug her.
"Not exactly," she admitted, wiping her eyes, "but this is so nice, you didn't have to do this!"
Rose tried not to laugh; Charlotte could be such a Hufflepuff sometimes.
It wasn't long before music was playing, the wine was served and they were all seated around the coffee table, trying not to drop pizza on their outfits. Charlotte had definitely been tipped off, since she changed into a sparkly gold dress that none of them had ever seen before. Rose dropped a pink sash around her shoulders that read 'Bride to Be'.
They decided to 'Pin the Junk on the Hunk' as the poster so eloquently put it. They hung it on the wall and took turns to down a shot, blindfold and spun around before attempting to pin a picture of various phallic-shaped items onto the poster. Ella was the closest, pinning her cardboard aubergine onto the stomach; Skye had pinned her cucumber onto the head, whipped off her blindfold and said, "Well, it's figuratively accurate!"
Between a few more games and the bottle of wine completely drained, their hair and makeup were done and the girls took enough pictures for Charlotte to fill three photo albums. Their heels clacked against the stones as they made their way to The Luxx, a high-end club that was hidden in the passageway between Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley.
Once they were seated at their reserved table, Ella called for attention.
"Okay, Bride-to-Be," Ella said loudly over the crowd, "Next game. I found this Bachelorette Scavenger Hunt idea we can do."
"A scavenger hunt?" Charlotte repeated.
"We have a list," Ella explained, brandishing it from her purse. "No magic allowed. Five points each if you use a cheesy pick-up line, get a free drink from someone or grind someone on the dance floor. Ten points if you dance on the bar, snog someone or manage to convince a bloke to take his shirt off."
Charlotte was wide-eyed. "I'm not going to flirt with anyone."
"I will," Skye said sulkily.
"Fifteen points if you ask someone to marry you," Ella continued, laughing, "or if you share your dirtiest fantasies with the group, or if you do a body shot."
"Where did you get this from?" Charlotte asked, taking the list from Ella. "This is for the bachelorette party in hell."
"We are not drunk enough for this," Rose pointed out. Never mind the fact that she wasn't going to flirt or snog some random guy, not even for a game. She was not in love with Scorpius, it just… didn't seem right to do that to him.
"What about if we play Never Have I Ever?" Rose suggested instead.
After a round of Firewhiskey and ordering drinks with fancy straws and colourful umbrellas, Ella began with, "Never have I ever… gone to a strip club."
Roxy drank, and all eyes went to her. "What? It was abroad when we were Curse Breaking, we just wanted to check it out. Noah came with me."
"Do you think Al's at a strip club right now?" Charlotte asked curiously.
"He definitely said he didn't want to go," Rose said, remembering from earlier that evening. And then she was remembering what he'd said before that. About her not being in love with Travis but somehow in love with Scorpius.
Rose refrained from chugging the remaining contents of her glass.
"Okay, my turn!" Charlotte thought for a long moment. "Never have I ever slept with a coworker."
"That's not fair," Ella complained, taking a drink. "You know I met Felix at work."
"It's not against the rules to know things," Charlotte teased.
"My turn," Roxy said, grinning. "I'm about to get all of you. Never have I ever been with more than one person."
They all groaned and drank. Skye booed and threw a crumpled napkin at her.
"How did you even manage to stay with the same person since Hogwarts?" Rose asked after swallowing. She suddenly imagined Scorpius with Annika in that moment, the wedding picture on the wall, and something twisted in her stomach.
Fuck, she wasn't in love with him. She wasn't.
"Simple," Roxy said, shrugging, "go on life-threatening adventures while Curse-Breaking that give you an inexplicable bond and make you realize that life is extremely short."
"So simple," Skye muttered. "All right. Never have I ever had sex in public."
Roxanne and Charlotte took a drink, and Rose narrowed her eyes at Skye. "You've shagged in public. Remember you told me about that time in the Quidditch locker rooms?"
Skye laughed. "Right, right. I forgot about that."
"Your turn, Rose," Ella said as Skye nearly downed her entire glass.
Rose stared at her margarita, biting her lip. "Never have I ever been in love."
Everyone else at the table took a sip.
"Okay," Ella began, hiccupping, "Never have I –"
"Wait!" Rose spluttered in disbelief. "I've literally just told you all I've never been in love, and no one bats an eyelid? I've had three boyfriends, haven't I?"
They all exchanged glances, clearly apprehensive.
"Rose," Roxy began, putting a hand on her arm, "no offense, but all your boyfriends have sucked. Of course you've never been in love with them."
She couldn't believe her ears. "I know they weren't great, but –"
"Oh, it's not because of that," Charlotte cut in, taking a sip of her martini. "It's totally possible to fall in love with a terrible person. No, you just never let yourself fall. Not really."
"I think it's more that Rose thinks love is like a fucking fairy tale," Skye disagreed. Rose became even more confused, and it clearly showed on her face. "It's true, okay? You're always going on about looks and butterflies and all that bullshit. That shit isn't love, it's lust."
Rose couldn't speak. She busied herself by taking a large mouthful of her drink.
"Tactful," Roxy scolded Skye, who shrugged. "Look, Rose, we know you. We understand you. But you never open up when it comes to your boyfriends. You always say it's too much pressure, and how exactly are you supposed to fall in love under pressure?"
"That's not true," Rose countered, but her voice sounded unsure.
"It is," Ella confirmed sympathetically. "You're such an open and lovely person with us, but once you think it's too much pressure? You get cold. We've all seen it."
"This is a fucking intervention, isn't it?" Rose realized. Her friends looked guilty; it was obvious they'd all discussed it and wanted to talk about it before, but hadn't felt comfortable. As if that wasn't the icing on the cake.
"But falling in love for the first time is magical," Charlotte added, and there was agreement around the table with nods. "I think Skye's wrong, there's definitely butterflies. But then there's this feeling like you can trust them and be more with them, isn't there?"
"Yeah," Roxy said, smiling. "It's not perfect all the time, but it is like magic. Like you can't get close enough and all you want to do is understand them, but you never do."
The realization was crashing down on Rose, and hard. She remembered the defenses she would put up in her relationships, the arguments with Travis in which he said she was so closed off. Rose truly had never felt anything like what her friends had described.
"Fuck, I've never been in love," she said, feeling dazed. Albus was right about that. But he wasn't right about Scorpius. He couldn't be.
"No shit," Skye said.
Rose dropped her head in her hands. "I need another drink."
"Anyway, it's my turn to get you all," Ella said, trying not to grin mischievously, "Never have I ever had a one-night stand."
"Ella!"
The girls were doing what they do best – singing loudly and dancing terribly in the middle of the dance floor – when Rose noticed the bachelor party stumbling into The Luxx. She watched as Albus made a beeline for Charlotte, excitedly wrapping his arms around her from behind. He was definitely quite drunk, his grin lopsided and giddy as he kissed the top of her head. A disgruntled James sulked behind him.
"Are you crashing our party, Al?" Roxy called loudly, laughing.
"We wanted to go to a strip club, but he figured it out," James said dejectedly, coming up to Rose and using her shoulder as an armrest. "We got him pretty drunk, though, so my work here is done."
Charlotte looked concerned as she peered at Albus closely. "Did you get him any food or water at all?"
"That would ruin it," James said, looking affronted.
"Oh no." Charlotte untangled herself from him and straightened her dress. "Can you watch him so I can talk to a waiter?"
"No," Albus whined, attempting to cling to Charlotte, "I'm fine, I just need – I just need –"
"Need what?" Rose asked, putting a supporting arm around him so she could escape.
"I need to dance," he decided loudly. "I need to dance with my wife!"
"She's not your wife yet," Roxy said, sliding an arm onto the other side of Albus to help. "You'll have plenty of time to dance with her soon."
"Good." He slumped against them, still grinning, and Rose felt a jealous pang. She wished she knew what love was supposed to feel like and how Albus felt right then. He looked overwhelmingly happy. She wanted to be happy.
"How many shots have you had?" Rose asked him.
"Like, seven?" Albus held up four fingers. "I dunno, James is the worst."
"I'm right here!" James protested, annoyed. "Fuck this…"
And he disappeared into the crowd.
"I think I see Noah," Roxy said, perking up and standing on her toes to wave at him. "Yes, there he is!"
"Go dance with him," Rose encouraged. "Charlotte will be back in any second."
"Are you sure?"
"Everyone else has ditched, anyway," Rose pointed out, which was true; she hadn't noticed beforehand, but Ella had found Felix and were situated at the bar, ordering another drink. Skye and Everett were either dancing or arguing – it wasn't clear – and Noah was squeezing through dancers, definitely about to whisk Roxanne away.
"Go on!" Rose said, and Roxanne blew a kiss before slipping away.
Rose managed to drag Albus to their table, where Charlotte had gotten a hold of a large pitcher of water and glass.
"Have you got him?" Charlotte asked as Rose sat him down. "I managed to get some chips, but I have to grab them from the bar. Can you watch him just a bit longer?"
"I'm fine."
"Yeah, of course," Rose said, waving her away and ignoring Albus' grumpy mumbling. Charlotte smiled at her gratefully and disappeared again. Rose sat and forced him to drink an entire glass of water.
"Having a nice night?" she asked when Albus appeared to have calmed down a little bit.
"Yeah." His voice echoed in the glass and he slammed it onto the table, words coming out slurred. "James had this whole plan of going to a strip club, but I just don't want to go. Half the people we put in Azkaban went to strip clubs every night."
Rose grinned; this is why she loved Albus more than James. She was so glad they were speaking again. "Makes sense to me."
"Is Charlotte having fun?"
"Let's just say she will have enough pictures for her scrapbook and will be extremely hungover tomorrow."
"Thanks, Rose," he said, grinning again.
"Hey," she began, putting a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry we fought. I should've been more understanding of what you're going through with the wedding and all."
He waved her apology away. "It's fine. It's almost over."
Rose paused. "Also, the girls think you're right. That I wasn't in love with Travis."
"HA!" he said triumphantly and a little too loudly.
"Everyone says I don't know what love is."
"I dunno about all that shit," Albus said, watching as she poured him another glass of water, "but I can see Nathan coming over here."
Rose glanced around quickly; Nathan seemed to be struggling to get through the crowd, but he'd seen her. "Shit."
"He's nice," Albus told her, "but you're in love with Malfoy. I'm shipping you two."
She groaned, regretting that time years ago when she told him about shipping couples. "You're kidding me, right? I'm not –"
"There you are!" Nathan had made it over to their table, a little out of breath. "Albus, how are you doing?"
He smiled widely, clearly very drunk. "Great."
"Charlotte's getting food," Rose explained, gesturing over; they could see her carrying a plate over in their direction, weaving through the crowd. "He'll be all right in no time."
"I think James went a little overboard," Nathan said sheepishly.
"Clearly."
"Do you want to dance?"
"Go on," Albus urged, "You'll see what I'm talking about." Rose shot him a confused look; he was either trying to be cryptic or get her away so he could spend time alone with Charlotte.
Rose got up, following Nathan to the dance floor. When she looked back, Albus and Charlotte were snogging over a plate of chicken wings, and she rolled her eyes. Some things never change.
"They look happy," Nathan said loudly over the music, noticing where Rose was looking. He took her hand and grinned at her, causing that whole butterfly thing to happen again.
Great.
Rose needed to keep her distance, or she was going to fall for him pretty fast.
"How's your night going?" he asked, pulling her closer and putting his hands on her waist.
"It's good," she said, resting her palms on his shoulders, feeling quite jittery already. It was only a dance, but even as she kept reminding herself of this, it didn't seem to help.
"We don't have to dance." He was smiling warmly, clearly sensing her nerves.
"Let's dance," she said firmly; she didn't want him to think she was boring or strange.
"Or would you rather a drink?"
"No, no, I'm good right here," she said, trying to smile back.
"Probably a good call, I'm already so drunk," he admitted, though she couldn't tell. "We went pub-hopping. Magical drinks are something else, I must say. Also, the wizard hats are incredible."
Rose laughed.
"So," he began, "how have we not gone on a proper date yet?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'd love to take you somewhere one of these days," he clarified, leaning in so she could hear him better. "Somewhere lovely and romantic."
She stared at him in disbelief. When was the last time a man ever actually wanted to do something romantic with her? How the hell was he so perfect?
"Are you even real?" she asked, feeling extremely stupid as she said it.
"What?" he asked, laughing.
"Nothing, nothing," she said quickly, looking down to her heels.
"You're very shy, aren't you?" Nathan asked gently. Rose nearly snorted; she'd never been called shy in her life.
Then it occurred to her that this is what her friends were talking about. It wasn't the first time Nathan had made an incorrect assumption of her, and she hadn't even bothered correcting him. She hadn't been herself around him very much, had she? He didn't know her at all.
Why hadn't she noticed it before?
Even realizing this, Rose couldn't bring herself to say anything; it was like the words had lodged themselves in her throat, stubborn and unresponsive. Evidently, Nathan hadn't noticed any of those emotions on her face.
"You're beautiful, you know," he said admiringly. "Your hair is so bright and lively. Like you."
She blushed. "Thanks. It runs in the family."
He laughed and started to talk about different restaurants and places around London, but Rose could barely follow along. All she could understand was her entire body reverberating the word 'date' back to her. Then: 'boyfriend', and somehow, 'terrible girlfriend'.
"Rose!" She felt relieved as she twisted around, seeing Charlotte calling and hurrying towards her, wrestling through the dancers. Her cheeks were red and she was dragging Albus by the wrist onto the dance floor. "I got five points."
"Five points?"
"For the game!" she exclaimed, giggling. "I used a cheesy pickup line on the bartender."
Rose looked to Albus, who shook his head, trying not to laugh. "It was literally a pickup line about cheese."
"It still counts!" Charlotte headed towards Skye, who was still dancing/arguing with Everett nearby. "I'm going to tell the others, okay?"
"What was she talking about?" Nathan asked once she left.
"We were playing a game," she told him before launching into an explanation of the different actions that added up points. By the time she finished, he was smirking.
"So," he said slowly, and suddenly she realized it wasn't his hands at her waist, but his forearms, pulling her closer. "How many points is a kiss?"
Rose was already quite warm, but she felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "Ten."
"I'd be up for that." He grinned, and even his smile was sexy. "To help you win, of course."
"Right," she choked out.
"I'm very competitive," he added.
Rose let out a chuckle that sounded halfway to a squeak. Merlin, he was close, wasn't he?
But despite the intense look in his eyes, the tingle down her spine or the lurch in her belly, there was one thing for sure: Rose did not want to kiss Nathan.
On paper they made sense: they both loved reading, they were attracted to each other, they were both kind, they enjoyed each other's company and they even kind of looked good together. But she didn't want to kiss him, not even a little. How the fuck did that make any sense?
Maybe it was because it was this could be the nail in the coffin, the thing that drew her in to fall for him. And what would happen then? Another up-and-down relationship when she clearly didn't need that in her life?
Maybe she was broken. This was why she needed to be single, and stay single.
Rose broke Nathan's gaze and the moment very pointedly, turning so she looked over his shoulder. Cowardly, but it worked. She found herself looking at Skye, who was dancing with Everett in a similar way. She had a deep scowl practically engraved on her features, but when Rose caught her eye, her expression cleared to pleading. She mouthed, Help!
Rose mouthed, Help! right back.
If she wasn't so desperate, she would be extremely amused at how pathetic they were.
"I think," Rose decided, "that we need to switch dancing partners."
"Er, what?" he asked.
"Skye!" Rose yanked herself away from Nathan and dragged him towards Skye and Everett. "Skye, I think it's time we switch partners, right?"
"What are we, in dance class?" Everett complained as Skye and Rose switched places.
"It's part of the bachelorette party," Skye agreed, mouthing Thank you to Rose when the boys exchanged wary glances. "We all have to dance with each other at some point during the night."
Rose hauled a reluctant Everett around a few dancers until he couldn't see Skye anymore. He looked extremely put off, running a hand through his dark hair miserably. He was so tall, Rose had to almost bend backwards to look at him properly.
"Are you all right?" she asked. She didn't know him very well, but she'd seen him enough at all their friend gatherings.
"Not really," he said shortly.
"Look, I think you need to accept the break up," Rose said bluntly, knowing it was harsh, but he'd clearly made Skye uncomfortable. "She's not going to change her mind."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because once she knows what she wants, she knows. And you know her well enough to get that."
Everett clenched his jaw. "Let's get another drink."
That didn't seem like a good idea – he was quite red-faced already – but before she could voice her concern, he was tugging her through the crowd back towards the bar. He found a barstool beside Felix, who was, of course, with Ella. She lit up when they sat beside her.
"Two Firewhiskeys," Everett told the bartender, glancing carelessly at Rose.
"Everett, you got her a drink?" Ella asked excitedly. "That's five points. Roxy's got ten points, though, look at her!"
They all looked down the bar, on which Roxy had kicked off her heels and was freely dancing on top of. Noah was sitting nearby, drinking a beer and chatting with another man at the bar.
Rose snorted. "Cheers. I've officially lost the game."
"There's still time to rack up more points." She lowered her voice so only Rose could hear. "I'm going to propose to Felix for fifteen points."
"You're insane," Rose said, laughing. "You're not really doing that, are you?"
Ella looked around, squinting. "Where did Skye go? Did she do anything yet?"
"She's dancing with Nathan, thanks to Rose," Everett said as the bartender put two shot glasses down on the bar. He passed one to Rose before motioning for another round.
Ella frowned at Rose.
"I needed to get away from him," Rose said, downing her shot and ignoring the burn.
"Why's that?"
Rose looked back to Nathan, attempting to find the words to explain, just in time to see Skye grab his collar and kiss him.
Rose winced. Ten points.
"I think she's really drunk," Ella said, wide-eyed. "Did you see her taking those shots earlier?"
"No…" They watched as Nathan pushed her away, but Rose could tell; his face was flushed in surprise and wonder. He couldn't keep his eyes off her, well after she let go of him and ran away, disappearing into the crowd.
Everett handed Rose another shot and clinked their glasses together. He was obviously upset, but all she could feel was… relief?
"I'm heading home," Everett said angrily, swallowing his shot. "Can you tell Al I'm not going to make the wedding?"
"Everett…" Rose didn't know what to say, but he didn't seem to care. He flipped a few Galleons onto the bar and stalked off.
"That was awkward," Ella voiced, making Rose laugh.
"I don't think she meant it," Felix put in, putting an arm around Ella's shoulders. "Shall we go find her, El?"
"Just a minute." Ella seemed to be scrutinizing Rose's face as she threw back the second shot. "Rose, are you –"
"I'm fine," she assured quickly, even after Ella shot her a disbelieving look. "He's just my date to the wedding. I don't care."
"If you're sure…" Still, Ella seemed uncertain.
But it was true. It was so honest it was frustrating.
Why wasn't she jealous?
Despite Rose's assurances, Ella decided to sit her down at the bar beside Noah (and Roxy, technically, but she was still dancing on the bar). As usual, Ella was playing the mother of the group and practically dove into the crowd to look for Skye, Felix following behind dutifully.
"I'm fine," Rose told Noah, who seemed half-concerned for Rose, half-annoyed she'd interrupted his Quidditch debate with another bloke at the bar. "Go back to your conversation."
"Okay," he said, attempting to turn away.
"I'm just confused as hell," Rose lamented, trying to catch the attention of the bartender, but he was still at the other end of the bar. "Why am I not jealous? Shouldn't I be jealous?"
Noah at least had the sense to look apologetic. "Honestly, Rose, I don't really know what you're talking about. Maybe you should think about it later, when you're not sloshed?"
Rose stared at him in awe. Avoid thinking – what a great idea!
Those last couple of shots were hitting her now, so that helped a little bit.
"I know what I'm going to do," she said, slamming a hand down on the bar. "I'm going to win the game. I just have to do something big, right?"
"Are you going to dance on the bar, too?" Nathan asked, laughing.
Rose ignored him. He didn't get it, but Roxy would understand, wouldn't she?
"Roxy!" she called loudly. But Roxanne clearly couldn't hear Rose at all, so she clambered up on the bar, kicking off her shoes and standing gingerly. She braced her hands onto Roxanne's shoulders. "Roxy, I'm getting a tattoo!"
"What?"
"I'm getting a tattoo! For the game!"
She leaned down and carefully hopped off the bar, looking for her shoes. Roxanne joined her on the ground a moment later. "Rose, that's not part of the game!"
"I'm making my own rules!" she said excitedly, slipping back into her heels and headed for the door.
"Well, you can't go alone!" Roxy grabbed her own shoes and followed her. "Where are you even going?"
"The closest tattoo parlour!" Rose wasn't sure where that was, not that it mattered.
"Pretty sure it's closed," Roxy said as they exited the building, emerging into the narrow road between Diagon and Knockturn alley. Rose checked her watch, and lo and behold, it was past midnight.
"This is some bullshit," Rose grumbled.
Roxy laughed. "What happened?"
"I think Skye won the game," she said, shrugging. "She got ten points. She snogged Nathan."
"Oh," Roxanne responded, still confused, "but I'm at ten points, too."
"I don't even care." Rose was much too loud, and even if the thumping music was still audible from outside, her voice echoed off the walls. "I'm not jealous. I just want to know why I'm not jealous."
"Maybe you don't like him," Roxy suggested. "Maybe he's not right for you."
"But I'm attracted to him. Like, a lot." Rose was waving her hands around wildly. "There's all these butterflies and shit."
"So?"
Rose wasn't sure if she didn't have a good answer or was just too drunk to reply.
"This is what we were trying to tell you earlier," Roxy said, holding Rose by the arm, either for comfort or to keep her in place. Rose did feel rather tippy. "You do this. You think butterflies means you have actual feelings."
"It does!"
"It can become that," Roxy said, tightening her grip, "but for some reason, you don't really let these guys in long enough to fall for them."
Rose couldn't think. Her mind was spinning.
"I can't talk in front of Nathan," she said slowly. "I can't be myself around him."
"Yeah," Roxy said, like it was obvious. "Why not?"
"Because he's perfect." Rose looked away. "It's too much pressure. I'll only disappoint him."
"You – what?"
But she wasn't listening, remembering how attracted to Scorpius she'd been when she met him. She remembered that vividly. Sometimes that even came back in the morning right before he woke up, or the way he looked at her right before he kissed her. Her heart raced at the thought.
But somehow that nervousness had mostly faded away. Maybe because they were just friends, and that was fine, that was safe. Maybe because she didn't have to worry so much, because he was never disappointed in her. Ever.
Fuck, she wasn't going to think about that right now. She couldn't.
"I'm going home," Rose announced, ripping her arm out from Roxanne's hold.
"Rose! Wait, we were going to sleep over at Charlotte's, remember?"
But Rose was running, running, running. Like she always was.
Rose nearly tripped at least three times. Being drunk, confused and running in heels was not an experience Rose would recommend. Really, spare yourself the trouble if you can.
She slowed a minute later, arms wrapped around her shoulders, actually a little chilly. She couldn't believe she just ditched Charlotte's bachelorette party and all her friends. She didn't even really know why she did that. Maybe it was just in the way the entire night had left her feeling very exposed.
So Rose didn't know what love was. So what? She knew what it wasn't, now.
And say Roxanne was right: even if Rose was attracted to Nathan, that didn't mean she would fall for him. That's what she was worried about this entire time, right? That's what made her so fucking nervous: that she would fall in love again, when that was the last thing she wanted.
It was like pulling teeth, hammering it through her drunken mind: just because she had butterflies around Nathan, that didn't mean she was going to fall for him. The thought actually made her more relieved than she could admit.
As she headed towards The Leaky Cauldron so she could get back into Muggle London, she considered why any of this even mattered. There was a reason she was single. She didn't feel nearly ready to go through that sort of experience again, and she had a lot of work she wanted to do on herself before she wanted anything to do with relationships.
Rose was still a mess, and she knew it.
The dingy pub was warm and quite crowded when she entered; there was some sort of Quidditch game playing over the speakers, but she couldn't make it out. As she made her way towards the entrance, she spotted a head of messy blond hair in the corner, sitting with his friends and definitely looking at her.
Oh, fuck. Scorpius was literally the last person she wanted to see.
Rose ducked out of The Leaky Cauldron quickly, noticing him following her out of her peripheral; if she had to see him, she at least didn't want to see his friends. Scorpius appeared a moment later, looking left and right before he found her leaning against the wall, arms crossed and catching her breath.
"I thought that was you," he said, approaching her, hands in his pockets.
She looked across the street at someone lighting a cigarette. "Here I am. Congratulations."
"You're drunk, aren't you?" he asked, amused.
"What are you doing here?" she deflected. "Don't you have… I dunno, work or studying or being responsible or whatever?"
"No, I took a day off. Trying to do that more." He glanced back at the door. "The Magpies are playing in America. There's a big time difference."
Rose didn't reply; she was starting to notice how much her heels were pinching her toes.
"Are you all right?" he asked. "I thought you said you were at your cousin's party or something."
"No, this is how much glitter I normally wear."
He grinned. "Well, actually…"
"Shut up," she moaned. "First, I lost every single game, then the tattoo parlour was closed –"
"You are way too pissed to be getting a tattoo right now."
"– and then I ditched my friends for no reason." Rose closed her eyes and tightened her arms around herself. "They're going to kill me. Tonight was so stupid."
"Rose," he said patiently, "I think you're probably over exaggerating. Tonight couldn't have been that bad."
"Okay, it was actually really fun," she admitted, "but then the boys crashed, and everyone just sort of stuck with their significant others the entire time and I was sort of…" Stuck with Nathan. "… alone."
"Okay, so it wasn't so bad."
"Sort of." Her mouth was blabbering, and she couldn't stop it. "I had a date. A wedding date."
"A… wedding date?"
"Yeah." She shifted from one foot to the other, wincing from the pain. "Charlotte begged me to take her cousin to the wedding, and I stupidly agreed even though I didn't want to go with anyone."
"Oh." Scorpius looked uncomfortable. "So you ditched him."
"I ditched everyone."
"Why aren't you going back, then?" he asked. "You clearly feel guilty."
Rose shrugged, more nonchalant than she felt. "I mean, they're all moving on without me, anyway. Getting married and all. One of my friends probably got engaged tonight, unless she was joking."
"At a bachelorette party?" he said, eyebrows jumping to his hairline.
"I think they're all just growing up too damn fast, you know?" Rose said loudly, nearly toppling over with the force of her statement. "Why do we all have to live happily ever after already?" Why did she have to be the only one confused about love?
Scorpius chuckled. "I can tell you firsthand that it's not true."
"We're not that old yet," she continued, leaning back against the wall so she wouldn't feel so dizzy. "I want to get a tattoo and hitchhike my way through France. I want to have fun and go back to when we used to build forts and climb trees and camp out in the backyard."
"All the things that seem like a particularly bad idea right now," he teased.
"Shut up." Rose was trying not to pout, but it didn't seem like she was doing so well in that regard. "Don't you ever want to do that stuff?"
"Yes," he said, "but not when I'm drunk. I'd keep away from the trees if I were you."
Rose looked at Scorpius properly for the first time. Even though it was dark, she could see his skin was flushed – probably from a few drinks he'd had inside, or probably because she was acting like a complete nutter – and he was smiling in a particular way she knew a little too well.
"Just say it," she grumbled.
"I'm trying not to."
"Scorpius, I will attack you with my shoe. It's very pointy."
"You're absolutely ridiculous," he burst out, laughing. He made a movement like he was about to reach for her, but then the door to The Leaky Cauldron opened and a wizard stumbled out. His hand was back in his pocket in the next moment.
"Are you going home?" Scorpius asked.
"No." Rose suddenly grinned. "I'm going to be ridiculous. Let's go camping."
"Now?"
"Why not?"
He seemed to consider her for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay."
"Okay? We're actually going?"
Scorpius jerked his head towards the street and grinned back at her. "Let's go."
A/N: Thank you soo much for your patience with this chapter! It was actually so long I ended up cutting out a bunch of stuff. I hope you enjoyed the absolute chaos of the bachelor/bachelorette party. What did you guys think of Rose's naive understanding of love, and how it involved Nathan? Anyone have any ideas what might happen while camping?
Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think :)