A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed, y'all are amazing and you make my day. We're back to Obi-Wan in this chapter, and I hope you enjoy.

Thursday, 9:49pm; Jedi Halls Of Healing.

"He killed Anakin. And I'm going to kill him."

A dead silence followed his words. Obi-Wan didn't regret them, didn't think it was just a split second decision which he'd regret in a while. When he searched he'd his feelings, he found an anger which had been slowly growing all week, ever since Anakin had first been taken, through the emptiness and searching, past the messages, until the moment the building had collapsed on Anakin. He knew it was wrong, in the back of his mind he wanted to release some of the anger through meditation. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the turmoil inside of him, emotions he hadn't felt since Qui-Gon's death. Emotions he'd shoved to the side, instead pursuing Anakin's training. But if he released his anger, his motivation would disappear. They would never get anything done. Anakin's killer would remain unharmed by everything he had done, all the pain he had caused Obi-Wan.

For some reason Obi-Wan had skipped the first stage of grief: denial. Maybe it was the fact he'd felt Anakin's presence dim, or maybe the fact that throughout the week he'd slowly lost hope that he'd ever get to see Anakin again. He still felt numb (emotionally not physically, he could still feel every movement hurting his ribs), but there was a sense of anger which hadn't quite reached his brain yet, an impulsive anger which just seemed to flow naturally. He wanted to find Anakin's killer. He wanted to make him pay for what he did. And then... Obi-Wan didn't know what he would do.

Anakin had been such a big part of his life. Before him Obi-Wan had only cared about being a Jedi Knight, serving the galaxy as a peacekeeper and a protector. Qui-Gon being killed by Maul had shook the very foundations of his life, the one person he had always been able to rely on had been Qui-Gon. When Qui-Gon made him promise to train Anakin he'd agreed, not because he'd wanted to, but because it was Qui-Gon. A friend. A teacher. A mentor. Obi-Wan didn't really want to have a Padawan when he himself was barely an adult himself. He was terrified, he'd have to train him and teach him and look after him. But he'd promised. Up until he'd seen Anakin again, his mind had been swirling with fears and pain. Then, when he saw the boy again, all his remorse about promising had flown out the window.

Anakin had been so eager, so excited. When Obi-Wan was trying trying to bottle up his grief Anakin helped him get through it, though unknowingly. Obi-Wan threw himself into training Anakin, spending every spare minute of his time with him. It was a big shock, going from being an unimportant Padawan, just one in many, to training the supposed Chosen One, and being asked onto the Council a few years later. And for the fist time, he experienced what it was like to deal with a stubborn child, what it was like to try and explain rules to someone who couldn't understand why they were in place. It was a trial, trying to get Anakin to rid himself of all emotional attachment, when he had clearly seen a mix of both love and hate in his life.

To have all of that thrown away in a moment, one person's actions causing Anakin to die, was a shock. To have Anakin's life end in death. Which seemed stupid, when you looked at it from a sensible angle. Of course Anakin was going to die. Along with everyone else. But Obi-Wan had wanted to be long gone by the time that happened, one with the Force. He'd hoped Anakin would live a long life, a fulfilling one. With every mission they did, Obi-Wan grew slowly more and more optimistic that Anakin wasn't going die on some backwater planet. Never had it even crossed his mind that Anakin could die on Coruscant, mere minutes away. And, in the few nightmares Obi-Wan had been cursed with, he'd always managed to be by his Padawan's side.

So yes, Obi-Wan was angry. He was fuming, to be more precise. He would even go as far as to call it hatred, not aloud obviously. It felt like the same emotions as when Qui-Gon had died. First the shock, then the anger, anger directed at Maul. The fierce pleasure he had felt as he watched his blade go through Maul, the realisation dawning on the Sith's face. The feeling of power. But later, the remorse. The remorse when he realised he'd touched the dark side that day. The younger him had pushed it away. It seemed that it might not have been as effective as he'd first thought. It came more easily now. Obi-Wan refused to touch it, even in his anger and hatred, he refused to use the faint darkness which had always been there. It would be an insult to Anakin's memory if he used the dark side.

Instead he focused on just his emotions. Remaining in the light was harder when he was angry, but manageable. He refused to use it like he did with Qui-Gon. But he still desired the same results. He wanted the man who'd kidnapped Anakin to be as dead as Maul.

Mace and Yoda shared a concerned look. Mundi just sighed and returned to patching up his injury. The healer looked at the Jedi around him, terrified at witnessing Obi-Wan's anger. He stepped away to go tend to another patient on the other side of the room. Obi-Wan glanced at over him with a faked interest, but really he was thinking of his next move. Without Anakin tethering him to Coruscant the man could go anywhere. His first move would be to find out where he'd gone once the building had gone down. From there he'd track him. Then he would kill him, just like he did with Maul.

Now with an endgoal, Obi-Wan swung his legs out of the bed. Ignoring the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm him, he placed his feet on the floor and placed his hand on the bedside table to support himself. The healer came running back when he saw what Obi-Wan was doing.

"Master Kenobi, you need to rest. You are still in shock." He said. Obi-Wan waved his hand dismissively, pushing himself to his feet. Shock he may have been in, but that wasn't going to stop him doing what he wanted to do.

"I'll be fine." He said. The healer grimaced and said a bit more forcefully,

"You will stay here until you heal."

Obi-Wan took a step forward, making sure he didn't stagger or trip, even though his ribs ached painfully.

"Look," he said, turning and raising his arms to demonstrate, "I'm fine."

"Fine you may be, but you need time to fully heal. Moving won't do your ribs any good." The healer continued. He looked helplessly towards Windu.

"Where do you need to go so urgently?" Windu sighed. Obi-Wan opened his mouth, but stopped himself quickly from saying his intention. In truth, he had planned to go to the address of the man named Marius. He could get some background information before moving on. But he had a feeling that neither the healer nor the three other Jedi would appreciate his efforts.

"I was going... back. To my quarters." He said. Yoda frowned at his obvious lie. "I would rather rest there, if I can gain your permission."

The healer frowned.

"I would rather your rest here, the bacta is still -"

"I think Kenobi should be allowed back to his own rooms." Windu said. Obi-Wan's heart leapt in triumph. It would be easier to sneak out of them rather than the medbay. "He can rest easier there. He's been through a lot."

The healer nodded politely, if reluctantly at the head of the Order.

"As you wish Master. May I request someone escorts him up, to ensure his safe arrival?"

"Certainly." Windu assured him. Obi-Wan felt himself begin to sway slightly. Standing up was harder than he'd though it would be. It felt like all the blood had rushed from his head, causing him to feel dizzy. He didn't let it show, knowing he was one incident away from being confined back into his bed in the wing, which would mean he wouldn't be able to get out for hours.

Windu moved to Obi-Wan's side, his hands out slightly, in case Obi-Wan fell. Obi-Wan took his steps slower than usual, but not so slow that he might arouse suspicion. The pain in his ribs grew, just like the healer predicted, with every small movement. By the time they'd reached the end of the corridor he almost wished that he'd stayed in bed. Not quite though. His desire to do something still burned strongly within him, overriding all other thoughts and needs. While his body told him to rest, his mind told him to get out. Avenge Anakin. So he quenched his urge to collapse and grit his teeth. Windu picked up on the action, and looked at Obi-Wan with badly concealed concern.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

Obi-Wan nodded. Too quickly to seem natural. "I know you've been through a lot this past week. And the loss of your Padawan is -"

"I'm fine." Obi-Wan said sharply. Windu stopped and looked at him, interested. Obi-Wan realised he'd just snapped at Windu, the most influential person in the Order, and the man who was trying his best to help him. But he couldn't help himself when he asked "What?"

"You should be mindful. Your thoughts are edging along a dangerous line, Obi-Wan." Mace replied. Obi-Wan looked down with a half-faked, half-legitimate guilt.

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

Windu seemed to accept his apology, and gave him a nod.

"Understandable, given the circumstances. I express my deepest apologies about what happened to Skywalker."

Obi-Wan felt a flash of annoyance at Windu's statement. Where were you and your precious Council when I was searching for Anakin? For hours? He thought. But he buried the annoyance deep inside him, along with the other emotions he'd been trying not to spend too long lingering on recently.

"I just... I can't believe he's gone." Obi-Wan said quietly, looking away and blinking to stop the tears that sprang to his eyes. Just because he'd cried in front of Windu once didn't mean he was going to do it again.

Obi-Wan still couldn't believe it. He was trying to convince himself in the back of his mind that he'd managed to skip the denial stage. Anakin was dead. He had to be. He had felt it. Anakin was dead. But somewhere, swirling with the emotions, was hope. A foolish hope that he knew would only lead to heartbreak. But his mind refused to believe that Anakin was truly gone. Not the brave, headstrong Padawan that had been his only friend for years. Hidden underneath the anger was the fear that Obi-Wan would never get anywhere. Never avenge Anakin. Never manage to accept the death of his best friend. Never get rid off the anger which burned from the inside.

Windu didn't seem to know what to say to that. They reached Obi-Wan's door a couple of minutes later, the rest of the painstaking slow walk having happened in silence.

"Get some rest. Make sure you head straight to the healers if you feel unwell." Windu said. Obi-Wan muttered some quick assurances, ushering him out the doorway. When he finally managed to get the other Master out the room, he turned and rested the back of his head on the cool metal door.

Shutting his eyes tightly, he held his hands up to his head and gripped his hair tightly, trying to discern if the life he was living could possibly be reality. It didn't seem like it, too much had happened. This wouldn't happen to the normal Obi-Wan Kenobi. It had to be an illusion.

But the pain he felt confirmed it wasn't a dream. Obi-Wan was slowly running out of options. Anakin's not dead. He can't be dead.

In the back of his mind he knew what he was about to do wouldn't help. Going on a revenge spree wouldn't bring Anakin back. Killing his Padawan's tormenter wouldn't bring him back. If only, Obi-Wan would've gladly traded, a life for a life. Even if the man's life was nowhere near worth the amount that Anakin was, at least not to Obi-Wan. But it wouldn't bring Anakin back, so Obi-Wan didn't see much point in debating the possibilities.

Alternate outcomes kept flashing through his head, a million possibilities of things that would have happened if he'd done things differently. If he'd found Anakin sooner. If he'd convinced the Council to help more. If he'd got Quinlan to come back sooner. If he'd done more research.

If he'd just never let Anakin leave, never had the argument. Obi-Wan had never regretted anything more in his life, including the time he'd killed Maul. If he'd never let Anakin out of his sight, or called him back, as a responsible Jedi Master would have done. But once more he'd let his emotions get the better of him, he'd let his anger at his stubborn Padawan impact his decision. He should've called Anakin back. Should've forced him to stay in the apartment. Anakin would've hated him for it, but at least he would've been safe.

Obi-Wan would rather Anakin hated him and was alive than Anakin loved him and was dead.

He took a step away from the door, each step reminding him with a painful jolt of the ribs that he was awake. Anakin was dead. And there was no going back. He made his way towards the kitchen. He needed something to drink. And probably something to eat, though the thought of food made him feel queasy. He wasn't concentrating, too deep in thought, so when he stumbled on something on the ground he almost fell. Grabbing onto the table next to him, he steadied himself. Obi-Wan looked back to see what he had tripped on. It was yet another one of Anakin's books, discarded work, which, Obi-Wan realised with a sharp pang, would never be completed. He picked it up gently, as if it might fall apart in his hands.

He stood, looking at the messy scribble on Anakin's page. He didn't read it. Just looked. Like he was looking at a drawing rather then a piece of writing.

Hit with a sudden surge of anger, he threw it across the room, a far cry from his gentle observing before. It hit the bookshelf and fell to the floor, knocking off a book with it. Obi-Wan felt an uncharacteristic flood of satisfaction. It felt good to release some of the emotions that he'd been burying for the past hours, the past week. He'd always complained about Anakin's coping methods before. Anakin had, when angry, always spent hours building things. Obi-Wan had stumbled across him asleep at his desk multiple times after he'd had a fight. He'd chastised him for it. But now he finally realised that it was a lot better of a coping method than the ones Obi-Wan had himself.

Not that he'd ever needed to deal with emotions before. Well, he had. Just not as powerful emotions. Sure, he dealt with normal things. Happiness, annoyance, boredom. But never anger, never hatred. He was getting a glimpse into what Anakin might've had to deal with, his struggles after growing up on Tatooine and his anger towards his fellow Padawans. And Obi-Wan hated it. He liked to be in control of the situations, he needed to be able to calmly assess them and come up with a plan. But even he knew that there was no way he'd be able to talk his way out of this. No way he could negotiate Anakin back to life.

Still fueled by anger, he grabbed the nearest thing to him, which happened to be Anakin's broken holocom, and threw that at the bookshelf too. It hit it with a more satisfying clatter then the flimsy workbook. But whatever Obi-Wan tried, it couldn't rid him of the emotions inside. He wanted all the feeling to go away. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel anymore.

There was a period of blankness in his mind, where he was barely aware of what he was doing. He focused on the pain and grief and let it flow through him.

It wasn't until he overturned the table did he stop. It was a solid wooden table, with books and datapads piled on it. There was no way he would've managed to lift on his own, even with his life of Jedi training. Obi-Wan slid to the floor, trembling.

He had lost control. For just one minute he had felt himself slipping, the darkness gathering as easily as it did when he was with Maul, if not easier. He'd touched on a hidden strength, a place in the Force where he'd sworn he'd never go again. It was what had given him the strength to defeat Maul. It only made sense that, in his grief, he'd managed to yet again touch it and draw strength from it. He sat for a minute, ignoring the physical pain his slumped position on the floor put him in.

Anakin wouldn't have wanted him to fall. Obi-Wan didn't want to disgrace Anakin's memory by using the dark side. But he didn't want to let Anakin's murderer go.

Obi-Wan rested his head in his hands. He needed to meditate.

A/N: Leave a review if you enjoyed!