don't mind me... i'm just not doing my work... screaming internally... with no faith i'll get a job worthy of an overpriced animation degree... at 1 am
Wei Wuxian sat in silence for a long time after Lan Wangji left. He didn't feel like he could sleep and he wanted nothing more than to just leave this instance and disappear. He'll just be chased if he runs and he still doesn't have a token to get out. It's well past nine so Lan Wangji should be asleep and if he's quiet…
His steps are light as he searches for that jade token only to huff when it doesn't appear- the glint of it shinning in the moonlight! He gets closer and realizes it's around Lan Wangji but even more surprising is the state of the man's bed. Well, it looks lest like a bed and more like a pile of blankets and cushions, and Lan Wangji's curled up under the blankets in a ball.
It's very… it's extremely cute for someone like Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian always thought he'd sleep more like a corpse straight and rigid. The thought of an overgrown zealous cat comes to mind again.
All Lan Zhan's missing is a tail to flick when he's annoyed and it be perfect.
When he was younger the idea of teasing a Lan Wangji that looked like that was amusing and fun but now looking at this and understanding what it means makes him feel hurt inside. Wei Wuxian knew something had been happening to Lan Wangji for a time but knowing he must have expeditated the process sat horribly in his gut.
If he'd done nothing this wouldn't have manifested till Lan Zhan was well on his way to being an old man or better yet immortal. In a way though, the latter is coming true. At least the fur isn't on his face, just the black lines all over his body.
The skin looks like white and black jade.
It's not fair he gets to be so beautiful. When I was turning into a monster, I looked like a walking corpse.
His hands slip to get the jade token delicately, barely brushing over Lan Wangji's skin. If he can also just get a hand over Lan Wangji's heart that he can sever that thread binding him- at least that was his thought but those golden eyes snap open and he finds himself pinned under Lan Wangji.
Even the glow of your eyes isn't horrific. Truly unfair.
Yes, truly because Lan Wangji's golden stare lighting up the dark is captivating as they stare down at him. That hand gripping him as he tilts his head with an unreadable expression. "Your bed is not here."
Wei Wuxian should apologize and leave. Just go and plot more silently but at the same time, it's out of character for the lie he's spinning.
Even with him as my thrall, there's no way Lan Zhan would say yes to this.
"Oh, Hanguang-Jun I was so cold and lonely. Can't I share warmth with someone as handsome as you?"
Lan Wangji blinks a few times before saying, "Are you certain this is what you want?"
Now, a smart man would recognize this is an obvious trap. An even smarter man would realize that his life was not in danger but maybe his chastity. Wei Wuxian was not a smart man. You could easily call him an idiot because the next words out of his mouth were, "Of course! Cuddling a big strong kitten like you-ah how wonderful."
Once Lan Wangji was asleep again he'll just grab the token and break their connection. Simple. At least that was the plan.
Problem was that Lan Wangji immediately pulled him under his body encasing him in a warm cocoon and any time Wei Wuxian so much as squirmed a low growl escaped from under his breath. This is leaving out the paralysis spell that was conveniently cast.
Never in a million years did he think he'd find himself curled up under Lan Wangji. Never would he think to call that fur on his arms soft or the light purring from Lan Wangji's throat soothing. Or that any of it could lull him so quickly to sleep.
That soft thrumming. The warm embrace.
I hate how perfect you are sometimes.
Lan Sizhui was the oldest among the male Rabbits of Lan and as such it was his job to keep track of them and make sure everyone was accounted for come curfew in the dorm area reserved for them. Reserved for Rabbits. The littlest ones were running around playing as usual or trying to chew on objects they shouldn't.
He understands though. They're not yet aware that human teeth don't need to be worn down constantly. They're not yet… human. Not enough to act like I most cases. "A-Ming, you mustn't chew on the tables."
"But Ge-ge my gums feel funny. I must!"
"That's because you have a tooth loose," He ruffles A-Ming's hair lightly as he pulls him away to put in bed.
"Why must I lose my teeth?"
"So a big new one can come in. That's why humans don't need to chew so much. We just grow new ones," Well, it's not exactly true but it works well enough to convince A-Ming. Gently he tucks him in and is grateful that some of the other older ones are also gathering the little ones for curfew. Counting the heads, he sees one of the smallest is missing, "Where's A-Shun?"
A-Shun was still so short and frail not to mention the poor boy got lost rather easily. "A-Shun returned to the Warren."
Lan Sizhui couldn't help but freeze and stare in disbelief. "But… A-Shun just celebrated his second year a few weeks ago."
"It happens. Especially to the weaker ones you know."
"I didn't really think A-Shun was going to make it to adulthood."
"Most of us won't make it to adulthood."
"Hey, didn't Lan Xiu from the girl's end also change last month?"
"Yeah, and she was one of the older ones. Even older than Sizhui."
"Honestly, if any of are going to make it to adulthood it's him."
"I don't mind it too much. I'm kinda looking forward to going back."
"Ahh? Lan Xiang, you're so weird!"
"What's weird about it? Once we're Rabbits again we never have to worry about anything again. No chores or classes. We can just laze about and eat."
"When you put it like that it does sound nice."
"But… I like learning my instrument and cultivation."
"You ever think about how we won't even get to kiss a girl? It's no fair."
"Says you. I've kissed three!"
"Liar!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
He storms out of the room unable to listen any longer. Two years. A-Shun was human for only two years. He had just learned how to read and write properly and was excited he'd get to read more complex pieces now that he understood the basics. He was frail but he'd been clever with a large smile.
Lan Sizhui slumped against the wall and sighed. Twelve years. He's been human twelve years and while physically his body is older that's how long Lan Sizhui has been alive from his perspective; the memories of the warren a distant dream he can't explain. He knows he's lucky. He knows. Most kids don't make it to twelve. Most, not even ten.
A lot of them get at least a good four years before they revert. Two is far too little. Two is cruel but with the weaker ones, it always happens. Always.
And most of them are weak.
He hopes it was quick. He hopes that A-Shun wasn't in too much pain as he turned back.
One day that will be me
"I don't want to go back. I don't want to be a Rabbit again." He doesn't want to leave father and Lan Jingyi behind. Lan Sizhui wants to be a cultivator. A human. Its why he's tried so hard to be strong and brave but there's no guarantee that even right this moment he won't start changing back. It hurts him that some of them long to go back to the Warren. That they would throw away their humanity and go back to a life without laughter or music. A life without dignity.
Uncle has tried to assure him that he's strong enough that day is long off but still it's coming. It will come.
And I can't fly away
It's a silly dream to have. Dreaming he can fly away when he's an earthbound Rabbit. Oh sure, he can fly on a sword but at the end of the day, it's different than what Lan Sizhui is dreaming. He marks down A-Shun in a list he's made of the children who've changed in the past few years once he got sick of counting. So far it's seventeen with many changing back around the same time in clusters and again that's just the boys since he started counting.
He's certain it's higher. A lot of children come out of the Warren but just as many go back in and he can't imagine how full it is.
He can't imagine wanting to be a Rabbit again.
"Sizhui, forget that dream. Flying is for birds and you are a cultivator."
A hum comes to his throat of an old familiar melody father would often play. It's a sad song but it soothes him and when he hears those chords he thinks of the wind and the breeze.
Wasn't there someone once… someone else?
"Hey, Sizhui come to bed!"
No, he's mistaken.
"Forget that dream."
At least when he closes his eyes for the night he can fly. When he dreams those strong wings will beat under him. When he dreams… he's something new.
When he dreams he can even touch the sun.
...this chapter is brought to you by not entirely knowing what to do because the only plot you planned for was entirely in the flashback part of MDZS