My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
💚 I am trying to finish this story soon, I promise, haha
💚 Also, if you want pictures of the story, just check out my Facebook group, Mina's Broccolis, and you will find pictures as the story unveils. And a few sneak-peeks here and there as well.
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Love, Mina💚💚💚
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💚 The Mobster's Wife 💚
Chapter 17: Stairway To Heaven ~ by Led Zeppelin (2,8K) -
The night that followed Clary intervention with Aline, she decided to stay in the apartment rather than go back to the mansion. She had texted Jace to let him know where to find her, but it seemed to be one of those nights where Jace would be home late … if at all.
She wished she had taken the time to go back home, just so she could have Bastille with her. Though Omoi liked to be petted more than the cat did, Bastille still had this sort of power to calm her down. Simon said that it was the purring and that some experts even claimed that cats could tell when humans were in distressed and purred on purpose to calm them down. She liked this theory, even if according to Jace, it was a bit far fetched.
She knew she should sleep, if not for her sake, at least for her children's sake. She had had way too many restless nights since being pregnant, and she knew it wasn't healthy. But no matter how many times she tossed around in the bed, she couldn't find Morpheus and follow him to his world.
She tried to do what Jon used to do when she was little and made herself some hot cocoa since she couldn't take any medication without endangering her daughters, but it did not help either. An hour later, well into the night, she was still as awake as some night bird.
So she tried calling her husband, just to hear his voice and hoping that this would set down her nerves, but she jumped out of her skin when she heard the ringtone echo in the corridor. Jace opened the door of their bedroom with a worried smile, showing her indicator on his phone, and she hung up, smiling back.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" He asked, walking to her to kiss her forehead.
She shrugged, mostly because she had no idea of what really kept her awake. Jace lovingly caressed her stomach, his way to greet their girls, and he told her, "Give me five minutes. I won't be long."
She nodded and watched him leave the room to go have his ritual shower. And that's when it hit her. Even though she made sure that Jordan understood she didn't want to kill Aline, she still felt dirty, because she knew that the undeserving woman would suffer.
Jace never seemed to have any problem sleeping, even though he slept so little. And now, she understood why. He washed off his sins before going o bed, and she didn't. So noiselessly, she got up, grimacing as she always felt like a whale when she did, and she joined her husband in the shower.
He rose a surprised eyebrow at her but didn't object as she stripped and slipped under the water with him. For a moment, none of them said a word, though Clary was mostly silent because of the icy water hitting her skin. How could Jace bare this every single day?
He made a move, probably to accommodate the temperature of the water to her liking, but she prevented him to do so. He was always the one making the effort, so once in a while, she could do it the other way around. And after all, she read somewhere that cold water helped to have a strong heart and a glowing skin.
She moved a little, so she could be in his arms, but when she tried to kiss him, he didn't reciprocate. She blinked, looking down as she recalled how distant he had been since Aline made a move on him. She knew that Jace loved her, but … maybe he was reconsidering the offer Aline made. Maybe he wanted someone who didn't already fail twice at doing the most natural thing on Earth.
With a sigh, she turned around and hurriedly washed herself before darting out of the cold shower. She wanted to crawl back in bed before Jace could say anything, but of course, Jace was faster than her. Well, given how big she was, a snail would be faster than her.
She was still wrapped in her robe, her wet hair dripping on both sides of her face, when Jace lifted her chin up, his brows knotting when he saw her unshed tears.
"Babe?"
She shook her head, mortified that she was doubting his love. She blamed her insecurities, her hormones, her upbringing, herself … Anything but Jace. But of course, Jace wasn't going to let her get away with this so easily. She blamed Father Crowley for that, with his sermons about telling everything to one's significant other. Though Jace clearly thought very little of the priest, he still applied the father good words every time he felt that they were not communicating enough.
"Babe?" He repeated, and Clary closed her eyes briefly, before asking,
"Is there a reason as to why you are so distant … Is it because of her?"
"No. It has nothing to do with her."
Clary stared dumbfounded to her husband. She couldn't really tell how she knew it, but she knew that Jace had just lied to her. Maybe it was her feminine intuition because Jace was an excellent liar. But the fact remained, Jace had looked straight in her eyes and lied to her as easily as he breathed.
"Well, you shouldn't worry about her. I took care of her," She snapped, before stomping her way out of the bathroom, still incredulous about the lie.
She wasn't stupid enough to think that Jace never lied to her. Little white lies to make her more comfortable, or more oblivious. Like when he said that Raphael wouldn't do anymore, and he brought Lauren to be her bodyguard. She learned a few months later that Jace had killed Raphael in a fit of rage. But in her mind, this was a white lie, because she never asked for specific questions. She was an expert at being vague, she had done it all her life with her father.
But every time she had asked for real questions, Jace had been honest with her. Even going as far as denying her what she wanted, like with Jon. But this time, he looked straight in her eyes, and lied, over Aline, of all people.
She had half a mind to just grab a cab and go back to the mansion, but she knew that Jace would catch up with her, and she didn't want to make a scene. Especially since Jace liked to keep their private life … private.
She was still in the corridor when Jace caught up with her and grabbed her arm to make her face him, his face hard as he demanded, "What do you mean, you took care of her?"
"Why do you care?"
His gaze intensified, silently demanding for her to answer his question, and she shrugged, using the opportunity to regain possession of her arm as she lightly said, "I asked Jordan to get rid of her. I don't want her to be an afterthought, especially when this is obviously troubling you. So I told Jordan to … not kill her, but make sure she would never cross either of our paths again."
Of course, her light tone was just a facade. She didn't feel that confident about ruining someone's life. But she didn't want Jace to think that she was weak, or going back on her decision. She didn't regret stepping up to Aline, and she didn't regret removing the threat from her family. After all, this was what mothers did, making sure that no threat would harm their little ones. And a harlot woman going after their father would certainly harm the harmony of her family.
Jace didn't say a word, and simply intensely watched her go in their room, and there, he leaned against the doorframe, as she dressed in a nightgown. His face was closed, though his eyes analysed every single one of her moves, and suddenly she remembered what Jordan said.
"I told Jordan. This was my idea. Leave him out of it," She insisted. She didn't want Jordan to end up like Raphael.
Jace still didn't say a word, his towel still hanging on his hips. She laid in bed, infuriated that Jace still remained stubbornly wordless, and once she was in bed, under the covers, she finally said,
"Say something."
Jace visibly swallowed, as if he was making a decision there and then, and he walked to the bed before engulfing her in his arms. She tried to move to look at his face, but it was difficult in his bear hug. still, she did not push him away, and leaned in his embrace, loving the way his chest echoed as he asked,
"Are you sure, babe?"
She blinked, this time doing her best to see his face, and so he put some distance between them, as he explained, "Are you sure you won't end up regretting it?"
"Yes." She certainly didn't regret no longer having Aline around, making her feel inferior in every way that mattered in her husband's eyes.
"Are you sure … it's not the hormones?"
She looked down, not having considered that option. After all, as Jordan had pointed out, it wasn't in her character to act so harshly. No matter her flaws, she was still someone who believed in seeing the best out of people, as Father Crowley often reminded her. So maybe Jace was right, and her hormones made her act irrationally. Maybe after giving birth, she would regret her actions and seek Aline for forgiveness.
Or maybe she was just tired of everyone assuming that because she had a golden childhood, and that she was nice, it was okay to walk all over her.
"Well … I'm not sure. But I'm sure that I don't want the thought of her ruining my nights. Our nights. I refuse to have this particular shadow looming over us."
Jace gently smiled, a hint of approval gleaming in his tawny eyes, and he leaned to kiss before he told her, "I agree. Aline" he said her name with disgust "shouldn't come between us. And that's why I've been distant as you put it. I'm … so angry at her, at me for letting this go so far, at everything that led to that moment … I don't want to let my anger out on you. Especially given your condition."
Clary nodded, scolding herself for being so prompt to see the worst. This time, she definitely blamed it on the hormones. Jace had just been sparing her, and there she was thinking that he was tired of her and wanted out. She was definitely too sensitive for her own good. But since she literally burst into tears earlier in the day, when she spilt her tea, she knew she had to blame her oversensitiveness on the hormones.
She leaned back into Jace's arms, and he laid properly by her side, even though he still was only wearing his towel. He cautiously kissed her neck, and she could tell that this was just something that he had meant to reassure her, not to ignite anything. After all, he just said that he was too angry to get close without being rough. And no matter how much she liked rough sex, she didn't think it was advised given her condition. Sure the doctor had given them his blessing for sexual activities, but she assumed that it was for the classic and sweet side of intimacy.
She cuddled against her husband, feeling like the weight that had kept her awake for a good part of the night was still there, and she let him know, realising as she talked,
"Maybe your daughters are rubbing off on me, and turning me into another person … Do … do you think I'm becoming a bad person?"
The soothing circles that his thumb had been drawing on her skin suddenly stopped, and she turned a little, so she could see Jace's face as he would answer her. But all she saw was incredulous-ness.
"Where does that come from?"
"Well … I know I'm not perfect. For instance, I've always been rather … selfish and self-absorbed but I try to do good. I always thought of myself to be aware enough to not consciously hurt someone else just for my own happiness. But … I wanted to hurt her. So badly. It's like … she brought all at once all my insecurities and … I don't know … It felt good to have this … power over her. I shouldn't feel good at that feeling."
Jace caressed her face, his eyes showing nothing but love and trust, as e wisely reminded her,
"We all have light and dark inside of us, Clary. Your priest keeps reminding us of that concept every single time we see him. If he wasn't already pledged to the Church, I'd say he'd try to sell us on that Yin and Yang thing. But …
You can't always be perfect. You can't always be good. I am the darkness to your light. But for your own light to shine, there needs to be a spot of darkness in you."
She closed her eyes, thinking of what Jace just said. She understood his analogy. She even saw further than what he said. If he was the darkness, if he was the Yin, she was the light, the Yang. And the spot of light that he showed was when he was with her. But recently, he showed it to Aline as well, when he spared her life. And her darkness was in her selfishness.
But now, she realised that it was just a shade of grey. Her real darkness just reared its head, showing her that she could be as dark as Jace at times. But … what if she lost herself in that darkness. What if the taste she just had made her dive deep into that dark pit.
Sure she didn't kill Aline or asked for her death, but she still asked for her to suffer, and worst, she actually liked the idea that Aline would suffer, even though it was obvious that she already suffered from Jace's hand. What if this was the sin too many that her soul wouldn't be able to take?
After all, how many times did she pray for her father, for her uncle, and more recently, for her husband? Praying for forgiveness over their sins. Even though she never talked to her father about his job, she would always light a candle for him when she would read between the lines of the newspaper. How many times did asked in vain for absolution over her loved ones? She wanted to save their souls, even if they didn't believe. Because she wanted to spend her afterlife with them.
Of course, Father Crowley saw things differently. In his eyes, only the sinner could repent for their sins, no one else. But Clary saw her father and Jace like … children. In a way. As long as they didn't know much, it was her job to look after their souls, the same way they looked after her body and heart. And no matter what Father Crowley thought on that matter, he never could counter her ultimate argument. Everyone had a different relationship with God, and even though he was a preacher, it wasn't his place to question or judge that relationship.
Clary had always felt that she was pure enough to save more than her soul. But now … now that she wilfully tried to harm someone else, she felt that she had condemned, not only her but Jace and her father as well the Eternal Pit.
Jace held her a bit closer to him, lovingly kissing her temple before he whispered with assurance,
"I know I have no authority on the matter, babe, but I don't think you will go to Hell for this. You still have to do much more to earn a ticket in that direction."
She opened back her eyes, agreeing that he indeed had no authority on that matter. He was not a priest, not even a believer. And yet, she doubted that Father Crowley would have been able to reassure her the way Jace did. Maybe it was because Jace had known exactly what was troubling her, without her saying a word about it. Or maybe it was because Jace was more objective when it came to souls than Father Crowley. Or maybe it was because she felt his unconditional love more than ever in that simple sentence.
All she knew was, as Jace said those soothing words, she felt hopeful. For all of them. She kissed him, something sweet and delicate. She was saying through their sealed lips all her passion, gratefulness and love for this man who knew her better than anyone ever would, even herself.
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
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‼️DON'T BE A SILENT READER,
LEAVE A REVIEW‼️
💚 So ... I know this chapter took forever, again. We're just coming to an end, and I don't like it, haha
💚 Now, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but I didn't want to take away from this important moment. It might seem like nothing, but as it showed in this chapter, it was a big deal for her to take this step in Jace's world.
💚And, to make it clear, she didn't ask for Aline to be killed, just to be cared of. Now, maybe Jordan did kill her, Clary will never know.
💚 Now, from this whole chapter, what I really want to know is what you thought of Jace? His concerns about Clary second-guessing her decision when she wouldn't be ruled by hormones, his reluctance to be close to her, and the fact that he knew immediately that she was questionning her soul?
💚And what's was your favourite part? I'm always curious about that.
💚 What do you think will happen next chapter? And do you think this will be a happy ending, or not?
💚‼️💚 I was enjoying my family visiting me, but here I am making it up for you. So, here are the updates of the month 💚‼️💚
- Road Trippin, FSOG version (COMPLETE)
- The Nanny, FSOG story (chap 14)
- Second Chances, TMI story (chap 20)
- Forbidden Fruit, FSOG version (chap 20)
- The Mobster's Wife, TMI version (chap 20)
- Tainted Love, TMI story (chap 13)
- The Consequences of a One-Nightstand, TMI story (chap 6)
- A Flicker of Hope, Twilight story (Prologue)
- How Much?, FSOG story (chap 1)
- The Daddy story, TMI & FSOG version (chap 17)
💚 Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.
Love, Mina💚💚💚