May the Force be with you!
For May 4th I've decided to post this bit of the next chapter that I've already finished.
Getting rid of the guns and dropping the shields wasn't as difficult as he first thought it'd be. Not with the four extra force users at his back using their ridiculous abilities to stomp the Geonosians flat. Seeing Sergeant Kano freeze a group of bugs was almost as unsettling as seeing Rex using an Ataru move to flip through the air and headshot five enemies before landing. His speed and accuracy was much higher than should have been humanly possible. It sent a shiver down his spine.
Anakin could feel them in the force, each of them like tightly wound springs. Their power was just ready and waiting to be used, pressing against the constraints they placed on themselves. Gripping his lightsaber tighter in his hand he cut down another enemy, his anger simmering beneath the surface. Why had no one told him about this? Obi-wan had known for months and the men had to have known for years to be this good. He grit his teeth and tried to keep calm but all he could think about was how everyone was keeping secrets from him!
Did they not trust him? Rex had been by his side through almost the entirety of the war. He trusted him with his own life and the life of his padawan. So why? Almost unbidden he heard Liera's words echo through his mind. It was like a bucket of sand being thrown on a fire, suffocating the anger until it was nothing more than a vague feeling in the back of his mind. 'Your emotions are part of you, Anakin. You can't push them aside and ignore them or let them build up until they explode. You'll hurt yourself and others that way.' He knew that. He knew that his temper could get the better of him. He'd seen the aftermath of his anger when Liera had collapsed in front of his eyes. Not to mention she'd been right about Obi-wan. But he was so damned tired of people lying and keeping secrets!
He needed to talk to Rex, to get to the bottom of this. Right now he had to focus on completing the mission. Obi-wan and Master Mundi were counting on him.
Once everything had settled down and they were finally establishing a base of operations he sent Ahsoka to get orders from Obi-wan and commed Rex to meet him privately. He waited, taking slow breaths and keeping himself calm.
"You wanted to speak with me, General?" Turning to look over at his captain he couldn't help feeling his anger rise. Rex might have dropped some of his shields but there was still something muffling his presence. It was like he was trying to hide from him.
"Why didn't you tell about this?" Rex stiffened, body frozen like an animal when it knows a predator is watching.
"This, Sir?" Anakin growled.
"You're karking force sensitive! Why didn't you tell me?" The captain watched him quietly for a moment.
"We were ordered not to reveal this information, Sir." That straight laced military tone was starting to grate on Anakin's nerves.
"Dammit Rex! Just drop the military thing for a karking minute." It was like he'd suddenly said a magic phrase. The man's demeanor shifted and it made Anakin flinch back.
"I'll take that as permission to speak freely, and that this conversation will be off the record." Slipping his helmet off he clipped it to his belt and looked directly into Anakin's eyes. Rex's face was a blank expressionless mask. Only his eyes betrayed any emotion and what Anakin saw there… it felt like being watched by a wary predator. "What do you want me to say? That I was told to keep my force sensitivity hidden in case the Kaminii decided they wanted to 'test' me? To torture me to death like some of my brothers because I 'wasn't like the others?' I was already in danger of being decommissioned because of my blonde hair."
Anakin's mouth fell open slightly in surprise. Rex was passionate and blunt but he had never been this… vitriolic. Right now he was looking at someone who was filled with bitter resentment… it was like looking at himself.
"What about the fact that we, my brothers and I, are still property? We're classified as military assets that belong to the Republic. What would the people in charge do when they found out their army of manufactured soldiers could be force sensitive like the jedi? They could order us to do things the jedi won't do and we would have to obey. Of course that's only if they didn't order our deaths because they were terrified they couldn't control us." Disgust was dripping from Rex's words and Anakin had no idea what to say in response.
His mind was awhirl of thoughts and emotions. He knew from listening to Padme complain about some of the other Senators that there were still people who thought of the clones as nothing more than living droids. 'Slaves.' His mind helpfully supplied.
"Rex, the jedi would never-"
"The jedi didn't even know we existed for ten whole years. They weren't there to stop the Kaminii from killing my brothers." Rex swallowed hard, hands clenching. "Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments. Even if they knew about us what would they have done? Put us in with the other force sensitive children? We grew two years for every standard year and were created to fight as soldiers." He let out a heavy sigh, looking almost tired. "Besides… not every jedi sees us as people either." Anakin's eyes widened and he felt sick to his stomach.
"That can't be. We're jedi! We're not supposed to have attachments, but we do care." The captain gave rusty chuckle.
"Because the Force guided you." Anakin blinked and chided himself quietly. He was still talking to Rex as if he was a normal human. But his captain had felt the pull of the force. He knew that sometimes sacrifices had to be made.
"Rex… you've been with me this whole time. Don't you trust me at all?" Closing his eyes the man sighed, his face pinched as if he were in pain.
"…Anakin. You're a good General. You lead from the front and try to keep as many of us alive as you can. Even if your plans are often crazy. I understand that sometimes those reckless decisions you make in the heat of the moment come from the force guiding you. But there are times when you don't think your actions through and it gets my brothers hurt or even killed." Anakin wanted to deny it, to get angry, but the look in Rex's eyes stopped him. There was a deep seated pain etched into the lines around his eyes. A kind of pain Anakin had felt keenly before.
"Do you even know their names?" Rex asked him quietly. "How about Adzic, Crosseye, Yorkie, or Tumble? They died when the gunship crashed. Seether, Tad, Uli, Dice, Tobril, or Summit? They were killed by the bugs and clankers. What the hell am I going to do when Gav finds out two of his batchmates are dead? Or Pulse when he finds out his Riduur is gone? He and Adzic only just performed their vows two months ago…" His shoulders drooped and he looked so, so, damned tired.
"Rex… I-I'm sorry…" Force, he felt like the galaxy's most selfish asshole right now. Hadn't he been trying to do better lately? Listening to Obi-wan's advice, going to talk with Liera about his past and feelings, trying to be more open and understanding of the men in his battalion. "I just… I'm so tired of people hiding things and lying to me. I don't… I don't trust people easily and even though I know you wouldn't betray me there's this nagging voice in the back of my head that just…" His mouth snapped shut and he stared, wide eyed, at the captain. He hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't meant to say any of that. But kark, Rex looked so defeated.
Looking directly into the captain's eyes, still difficult for him even after all this time, he saw the man shed some of his fierce anger. It was slowly being replaced with warmth and understanding. "I understand, more than you know." There was a flicker of anger in the man's eyes for a moment but Anakin got the distinct impression it wasn't aimed at him. "How about this, then? No more secrets between us. We can start over from the beginning. You'll be a vod." Anakin felt his chest tighten at the word. 'Brother. He wants me to be his brother!'
The man took a deep breath. "I'm Rex Kurshi'cin, son of Haati Kurchi'cin and Jango Fett. I was born on Kamino as one of millions of brothers, as part of their future army. Everyone calls me captain out of habit but my actual rank on record is Major. I lead the 501st with my team, Jaig Squad, under my Jedi General and Padawan Commander. I'm a trained force sensitive, but not a jedi."
Rex grinned at him, head held high and posture confident- proud. "Your turn vod." Anakin swallowed, feeling suddenly vulnerable and exposed.
"Uh… I'm Anakin Skywalker, son of Shmi Skywalker and… and the Force." Rex's eyebrows rose slightly. "I was born a slave on Tatooine and freed by Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan's old master." Rex sucked in a breath and Anakin bit his bottom lip. The men hadn't known he was a slave before becoming a jedi. "I'm a Jedi Knight and the General of the 501st Legion." He took a deep breath. "I have a Padawan named Ahsoka and she's… she's almost like a daughter to me." His face flushed red at the admission but Rex just stood there, steadfast and nonjudgmental. Gently urging him to go on even as his force presence began to give off warmth, understanding, and support. Anakin almost choked on his next words. "I have a wife. Her name is Padme."
He looked over at Rex and frowned. He didn't look all that surprised. "…you know about that already? How?" Rex let out a bark of laughter.
"Vod, the entire GAR knows about you and the Senator. I think that only Cody, me, and a few others know you're actually married though. Cody saw it in a vision and was fussing about it for days, trying to make sure General Kenobi didn't find out about it. We've been covering for you two for a while now." Anakin felt warmth flooding his veins. How could he have been so blind? These men cared about him. They wanted to treat him like one of them but he'd been pushing them away. So wrapped up in his own mind.
"Rex… I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I was so caught up in everything… this damn war…" He looked down at the ground, feeling ashamed. A hand on his shoulder made him look back up.
"It's okay, vod. Do you know what cin vhetin means?" He shook his head. "Cin vhetin is the Mandalorian concept of a blank slate. When you become Mando'ad your past is wiped away. Nothing you were before that day matters. But everything you do afterward does." Anakin frowned in confusion. "I'm not saying become a Mando'ad." Rex snickered. "But why don't we make today a different kind of cin vhetin? Do you promise to do better in the future? To try and change who you are right now?" He swallowed. The air was trembling around them, as if it were alive. This was something important, he could feel it.
"Yes. I-I think I want to start over." Rex nodded, squeezing his shoulder.
"Okay. Welcome, vod. No matter what happens you're family now. You'll always have brothers at your back." Anakin smiled. It felt like something cold that seeped into his bones long ago was finally starting to lose its grip. They remained there for a quiet moment before their comms beeped. Rex chuckled.
"Back to work." Anakin snickered, feeling his eyes water slightly. They started the walk back to camp when Anakin had a thought.
"If the whole GAR knows about me and Padme… do you think Obi-wan knows?" Rex snorted in amusement.
"Of course he does, he notices everything." Rex chuckled. "Except when he needs to eat, or sleep, or when someone is pining over him." Anakin stopped, confused. He looked Rex up and down for a moment.
"Please don't tell me you like Obi-wan?" There was no way. Anakin had seen the way Rex looked at Liera. Sure he wasn't as observant as Obi-wan but the way the captain looked at the healer… it was the same way he looked at his angel. There was just something tender and precious about the warmth between them that he understood deeply. Did this mean that Rex had a thing for Liera and Obi-wan? Should he talk to Obi-wan about it?
Rex snorted in amusement and shook his head. "Me? No. General Kenobi is a great man and someone I respect a lot. But I'm not interested in him that way. Although a surprising number of vode do find him attractive. I don't think you have to worry about any of them hitting on the general though. No one would dare. He's a Jedi High General." Anakin let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Besides, if anyone did hit on General Kenobi they'd have to face the Marshall Commander's wrath. Cody can be brutal on the mats when you've pissed him off." It took him a moment to understand what Rex was getting at but when he did he choked on his words.
"W-wait! Cody? Cody likes Obi-wan? But he's like a brick wall of logic and tidiness a-and cold calculations!" Rex's shoulders shook with mirth as he tried to hold back his laughter.
"You haven't seen him really angry yet. Or drunk. He's pretty bad when he's drunk." Anakin hadn't even realized Cody got drunk. The man was almost as bad as Fox for being such a stickler for the rules.
They walked in silence for a moment, his mind reeling. "Anakin." Wow, he was still not used to that, Rex calling him by name. But it was comforting all the same. "No more secrets. We have to trust each other if we're going to get through this stars cursed war." Rex stopped and held out his arm. Anakin reached for his hand but the captain shook his head and clasped their forearms. "It would also be nice if you listened to me a little more from now on." There was a bit of playfulness in his tone but his eyes were serious. Anakin couldn't help being confused. Rex rolled his eyes. "I have the Force. If I give you a warning I damn well mean it." He nodded, contemplating the man's words.
"I'll try, Rex." It was the least he could do for his vod.
Been having a bad couple of weeks. My fiance lost his job thanks to everything that's going on right now so we've been a little stressed. But we'll make due.
I hope you all stay safe out there!