They landed on a hillside that looked familiar to them both. As soon as they climbed off its back, the dragon left them.
"Well, there goes our ride." Harry said. "And we're no closer to being back."
Somewhere during their flight, Draco lost the ability to feel his son. By the time they landed, his arms were empty. Only the christening gown remained. He put his head on Harry's chest and let him comfort him. Emerald gave them some privacy. She went to see if she could find the dragon and explored the little hut. They all rested for a while, and tried to make sense of everything they'd experienced.
They sat in the sun. Draco still looked shaken, so Emerald turned to Harry. "Why aren't we out of this yet?"
He looked thoughtful. "The contract. He must've changed it. This place looks so familiar. We're still inside his magic, just in a safer part of it. It's so beautiful, I hope there's nothing bad here."
She watched Draco running his thumb over the gown. "Look at you. Your cuts are healing. Maybe that's why." She also noted that he was now wearing the most beautiful, sun-bright shirt she'd ever seen. It's the light, she told herself. It's so beautiful here, that shirt just soaks it up. Just like his hair. If she didn't know him, and she saw this, she'd know that he had to be magic.
She hesitated. "I'm sorry about your baby."
He winced, but smiled without looking at her. He said, "Thank you for your help with everything. Did you get hurt?"
"Nope." She flexed her muscles. "Not a scratch on me. Is this your magic or mine? I kinda want to keep it. I like being strong."
They noticed that she had the kind of fangs that stayed in her mouth. Cosmetically, she still looked human. If she hid her ears, she could fool most people. She'd have to use the cover story that she was an Amazonian body-builder. There was nothing human about her height, unless they counted medical anomalies.
Harry raked his hair. "Your dads are going to kill me if you don't turn back. You look amazing, by the way. What's Remus going to think when he sees how you transform?"
Draco looked serious at her. "He'll be very proud." It was evident to them that he was still thinking of his son, and loving at any cost.
She blushed. Her size made the girlish reaction seem all the more fantastic. "I just don't want to scare anyone."
"If you scare them, they shouldn't be in your life to begin with." Draco sounded certain. "Life is too short to go tiptoeing around other people. You have to be yourself. I never want to keep another secret ever again. That's what I've learned."
She asked shyly, "What about babies? Would you want one again?"
She seemed to know that her question might be insensitive, but the look in her face said she really wanted to know the answer. "You just looked so hurt when you realized he was gone. Like you thought you could keep him. If it was possible to get him back, would you? I mean, if your magic really was that magic?"
He needed a moment before answering. Harry too, waited.
"Right or wrong, if I could get him back, I'd keep him. I'd forgive myself for not being good enough, smart enough, responsible enough, whatever. And I'd selfishly keep him. So, would I want to have a baby in the next five minutes? No. Do I want one eventually, when I feel stronger…" He looked at Harry. "Yes."
Harry waited. There appeared to be more.
Draco told him, "It's okay if I've put you through so much, you don't feel the same way. And maybe when we get out of here, I'll lose my confidence. But I can still feel him against me, and let me tell you, that's all I want. To live to be good enough to get to have that back. He must be incredible with love and magic, if he can do that to me. Sour me. So maybe, if something that wonderful came from this body, then it can't be that bad. I can't be that bad."
"You wouldn't have to do it alone," Harry told him. He picked up Draco's hand and held it.
"If I could give you that, I would."
These promises seemed to be enough for right then. They made them, while forgetting they were still in Draco's magic. And still negotiating the contract.
The dragon came bounding over the hill. Its wingspan alerted them of its arrival, blowing their hair and clothes, and everything around them.
"Here's our ride," Draco informed them.
Harry jumped. "Oh my god. No wonder we're not back. We can't ride this bloody thing back to the house. It's the fire, remember? That's the way through the portal."
Emerald didn't know what he was talking about, but Draco did. "I remember now."
Harry gathered with them to stand at an optimal distance from the beast. "Whenever you're ready, Draco."
Draco looked up at his patronis, and told it, "Take us back now. Negotiations are over."
The last thing they saw in that world, was a tunnel of green fire.
In the entertainment room, they crashed through the ceiling. It took a moment for the glow around them to fade away. Their families descended upon them, but Severus pushed them back.
"Give them a minute. It's a shock."
Harry and Draco landed awake this time, but Emerald had to be coaxed back to consciousness. Her size and change, startled everyone. They'd seen it all unfold in the holographic magic around them. They had stood in the midst of it all when she fought to rescue Draco. Her fathers waited for Severus to convince her to open her eyes. Their anxiety was three-parts anguish that she had to find out about her abilities this way, guilt over not being the ones to see it first, and amazement that she'd come through it so spectacularly.
Stroking her hair, Remus asked Severus, "Will she stay this way?"
The presiding wizard ran his wand down the length of her, shaking his head. "Her biological blueprints give her a choice. The coming year will be formative for her. If she spends most of it in human form, she'll only transform when she needs to. If her stress levels cause her to change frequently, she will retain this form eventually. It's not tied to the lunar cycle."
Sirius swallowed bitterly. "What do you think we should do for her?"
"Let her make the choice. Encourage her to retain her gifts as long as she can control them. Teach her to be discreet and to walk in both worlds if she so chooses. Leave the rest up to her and trust her. She's no longer just a human child, but a creature of preternatural instinct. She could survive the most stringent isolation and harsh conditions if she had to. She's going to want to test her strength. When that time comes, don't stop her. She'll always come home to you, when she's ran as far and as hard as she can run."
Remus appeared to digest this far better than Sirius, who looked grief-stricken. Remus gripped his shoulder. "Don't worry. She's still in there. We can handle this." He knew better than anyone.
Emerald's voice cracked as she sat up. "Dad, did you see me? I kicked ass."
This convinced Sirius to smile.
Behind them, the Potters and the Malfoys huddled around their sons. Harry and Draco sat up across from one another. Draco's injuries were gone. Neither could assure their parents well enough, that they were okay. Harry's eyes fell to the gown Draco was still clutching. Harry saw his distress, and helped him to his feet.
"We're fine, we're fine," he insisted. His relatives milled about him. Many of them made a point of grabbing him and Draco. A great aunt pushed past Narcissa and squeezed Draco to her bosom. "I don't care if you don't know me. You scared me to death! You're perfect for this family and I'm going to love you no matter how much you protest."
Her fleshy arms trapped him, and he did her the courtesy of not complaining or pulling away as she hugged him. Harry cringed, but was impressed with Draco's patience, as this opened the door to more of his relatives slapping Draco on the back and pulling him in.
Hermione, Ron, and Blaise, appeared at his side. Ron threw his arms around him, unashamedly.
"That was bloody brilliant. Every time you stood up for him, everyone felt a surge of his magic. It was our magic, but it all seemed to blend in and circulate through every body. You couldn't see what you guys were doing from this side, but you kept making it stronger and stronger and stronger. I'll never fucking doubt magic or myself again."
"I want a hug, Ron. You're hogging him," Hermione bounced on her toes. Tears stood in her eyes. "He's right, Harry. We had a clear view of where the magic was flowing. Every time one of you said or did anything, the contract took that into consideration. It's changed, drastically."
"Has it?"
"I can't read it, but Mr. Severus was talking to you the whole time, guiding and encouraging you. He let Draco make his own decisions. He'll tell you."
She released him to Blaise, who rocked Harry in his super long arms. "That was some epic love, my man. You're beautiful. If you made me any prouder, I'd be gay. Rainbows and unicorns for everybody."
Crushed into his shirt, having no choice but to endure his cologne, which wasn't that bad, Harry laughed. "We couldn't have gotten through that, without all this extra magic. I have to thank all of you for that."
Severus allowed the reunion to continue for a few more minutes, before announcing that everyone should return to their places.
"Negotiations are over, but the ceremony is not. Harry and Draco's magic has done what it set out to do. Let's look at the changes."
He used his wand to project the marriage contract into the air around him. It unfurled, every hidden compartment, sending gusts of fresh magic out at them. Some of the lines on the parchment were still burning with gold addendums. Blocks of text disappeared entirely. Some shifted from the back pages to the front. He waited until the magic appeared to write its modification. He turned and looked at Harry and Draco, eyeing them up and down, then turned back.
This made the couple exchange worrisome glances. Whispers erupted around them.
Harry couldn't stand it. "What's the verdict? Are we free of all this?"
"I will let the committee tell you."
He made an aggressive sweep of his arm, luring the magic running through the floor hologragh, down the path they had walked. He lifted it out of the floor and the contract was replaced with a celestial view of the stars. A window onto Draco's magic. That cosmic view, another symbol, leaked out into the room until they all felt like they were standing in the depths of space.
A table appeared, lined with the members of Draco's committee. Not all of them looked the same. Kevin was gone completely, or he'd transformed into the glowing female deity who'd sat so silently before. She smiled her approval at Draco. Everyone felt their magic amplify tenfold. Whoever she was, she was more than an illusion.
In the center of the table, the Lucius thing lifted his long hair from his shoulders and let it fall in sheets about them. A rather arrogant display, but one designed to let Draco know that this was not his father. This was his own power and beauty, and authority, packaged in a way that he had to respect.
The real Lucius Malfoy, backed up, appalled to see how his son viewed him. He'd had no idea that he was that larger-than-life and omnipotent to Draco. He knew that he was handsome, by shallow standards, but he had no idea that he was that beautiful in anyone else's eyes. That was magic, for it wasn't the components of the looks. It was the way Draco's feelings interpreted them.
The fairy tales were right. There are greater realms that brush up against the one we know. And when sensed, they sparkle like diamonds of light caught in water spray. Fairy dust. Just watch a babbling brook the next time you see one. Stand in the sun and see the prism. People who are proud of hardships, don't get to see this kind of magic. They don't get to have that inheritance until they let go of the fight and trust their magic to render their battles unnecessary. Lucius gave up fighting the marriage right then and there. Draco's version of him, assured him that he would forever have a seat in his son's most important decisions. All of this came to him, and his own guilt slipped from his shoulders.
Cosmic-Lucius smiled into the room. "First, let me say congratulations to you both. We're glad to see you've made it back. You've addressed so much. Your masculinity is avenged. We're so glad that you dealt with that little hang up. It sucks when you promise to have a child, and then actually go on to live in a society that frowns upon males having children." He shrugged. "What are you going to do?"
Harry's mouth fell open. This guy wasn't the monster he'd faced.
"Yes, I know, you both thought you vanquished us in some epic war between Draco's ego and his subconscious magic. We hope you enjoyed our play."
Draco didn't know what to think, and it showed on his face.
"You can't kill us, we're your wisdom. We're eternal. Our forms will change when you need them to. Now that you are done judging yourself, we hope that you will enjoy your freedom. We never meant to make you cry. We only ever wanted you to know how much love you bring to the world. You are necessary, or you would not exist. We do not ask for payment, we have no need for it. But you wanted to give. So you gave a child, the greatest expression of magic that you could give. Then you got scared and changed your mind. That's all. Your wishes were always supported by us, no matter how they changed.
"If you couldn't change your mind, you'd be locked in a cage of your own making. You have free will and you are never punished for using it. We can't help it if you use it to touch hot flames. Our play was our way of helping you set down the flames that tormented you so. Flames that you insisted on holding, because of misguided information which insisted that you had to. Your right to be happy, could've spared you all of this, if you had believed in it. But that doesn't mean any mistake has been made. You understand now, why the greatest love that encompasses loving others, is really simply, to love yourself. Your son, who is born from your magic, is to thank for that. Though he never took one breath in your world, he lived his purpose to its fullest. It was merely to inspire you to love yourself."
He paused, and Draco seemed to swallow this information.
"Now, your terms are accepted. Your marriage is as unblemished as anyone elses, which is to say that it is off to a perfect start. You wanted to know if you could trust your husband. If he really cared about you. You didn't want to wait weeks and months to be heartbroken. You have experienced more with him, in the last two days, than many couples experience in a year. He has shown you everything he is made of. Everything that will annoy you. His strengths and weaknesses laid bare. You have your answer. Our play worked on so many levels. We love symbols."
He shuddered, giddily, savoring the idea. "Now, this shame business. That has got to stop. We've cleared most of it away. You won't die of an aneurysm because of it now, but you're still holding onto this business about your body. If you want to truly free yourself from that, and this is only a suggestion, we propose that you consider having another child. That learning module will advance you past your current one and erase all the erroneous notions you have regarding your body. It will also alleviate any residue of guilt. A child for a child. You need not compensate for your choice to be childless, but there are places within you that such a decision could soothe.
"Right now, the ability to soothe yourself and to relieve your guilt, is where your focus should be. Not work. Not weddings. Not fixing anything. Simply feeling better. It is this secret ingredient, this liquid trust as it were, that frees up your magic and causes your every decision to work itself out. In your current condition, you cannot bring a child through without it."
Draco looked at Harry, then back at Cosmic Lucius. "I can have my son back?"
"Under different conditions. The magic that wanted to be your human son, is still willing and available. It's always with you."
Struggle warred on Draco's face. Around him, relatives shared the weight of his delimma. He kept looking at Harry. Then, "I couldn't do that to Harry."
"Draco! Don't you dare use me as an excuse to keep yourself from happiness. If you want a kid, I'd sign up to share him with you. Right now. I knew you were right for me, the minute I saw you. I'm not scared of the responsibility of having a kid with you. I'm honored. And if you don't do it with me, I can tell that it's something you want so much, that you'll do it eventually. If I'm not a part of that, I'll fucking lose it. I don't want to see someone else enjoying what I could with you. Let me have that role in your life. You know me now. And I know, like you said, right or wrong, your gonna try to make up for what you did, by giving a child passage into this world. You want him back so strongly, you'd leave me out of the equation. Don't leave me out. Let me give you the one thing that will soothe you."
The entire room held its breath, poised over Draco's answer.
He swayed on his feet, the calculations of that prospect overwhelming him. He looked up. "How long do I have to decide?"
"You have the rest of your life to ask this of your magic. But for the purpose of amending your contract and removing guilt specific to your actions, you have one hour."
Draco gasped, as did everyone in the room.
"Why one hour?"
"Till sunrise. The portals you have opened, will remain open until then. Excessive magic is roaming your environment freely at the moment. It will have to be reeled in. Under normal circumstances, it would hinder your daily life. Already, the occupants around you, find it difficult to leave. In the next hour, you will be able to shape this energy with your intentions. It will become the child you're asking for. After that, the terms of your contract are set. You always have the ability to go in and change them, but you will do so at the reordering of your life, and expenditure of much energy and resources. It can be easy and effortless. But you're not ready to let it be so.
"You will not always be physically surrounded by those who are amplifying your magic now. They must return to their lives. If you make the choice now, you will receive the maximum help they can give you and ensure a healthy birth. If you wait, you will allow natural conflicts to take place. Things can still turn out well, but you will add struggle to the equation. It's the nature of humans to do so. Even magical ones."
Draco was shaking. He looked down at the gown in his hands. "I want this."
He turned to Harry. "I want this, I'm sorry."
"Shhhh, don't be. I'm not going anywhere."
He turned back. "What do I do?"
Cosmic Lucius smiled. "Why, consummate your marriage, of course. And have fun doing so."
Embarrassed laughter slipped softly around the room.
Draco bore the stares and the knowledge that strangers were glued to his private life. He flushed, but held up next to Harry. "Okay," he agreed.
Cosmic Lucius smiled down at him. "It's done. I suggest treating this hour before sunrise as if it were the most important moments you'll ever have with your husband. You'll get plenty more 'most important moments,' but the one you're experiencing currently, right now, is what matters. Let me say that again because humans don't here it. Now, is what matters. There are never any traumas occurring directly to you in your 'now.' To know that one has happened, is to either be looking at the past or someone else's now-creation. And the trials that others are putting themselves through, are none of your business. Be kind, be compassionate, but don't insult someone by seeing them as helpless and incapable of creating the 'nows' they want. The greatest illusions of pain, escort people to their power, until they learn that power is free. Your son has shown you that.
"What causes the trauma you've been running from, is the habit of continuously putting your fears in your present moments, long before they ever become physical events. An hour from now, another 'now' will be the most important one. Be careful what you put in your 'now.' Or you'll keep re-living it over and over again. As you have been. Replay the best ones as much as you like. Discard the worst ones. Every second is a choice to look at love or to look at something that does not contain it. And that's what your magic becomes. Go now, and finalize your marriage."
The lights lifted. The table, and the backdrop of stars behind it, faded. Everyone blinked at the glare and rubbed their eyes, making sure they were all back in the same space and time. No one knew quite how to break the silence. No one wanted to. After what they'd heard, the seconds ticking away, were too critical to waste. Most of the guests had families of their own, and were well past the phase of apologizing for intimacy. They only looked askance out of respect for the boys, who were new to it all. They shuffled out of the way, making a path. Everyone seemed to know what was needed, and talking wasn't it.
Severus positioned himself in front of Harry and Draco. He hit them with a cleaning charm. The force of it pushed them back, and they looked down at their fresh clothing. He told them. "Don't talk. Follow me. Don't linger."
His expression was sharp with purpose. He moved like a blade, cutting a path through people who weren't moving fast enough. The boys had to choose between saying something to their parents or keeping up with him. Narcissa and Lily pushed them in the direction of Severus.
"Go, honey," Lily prodded her son. "Just go."
Her whisper was apprehensive. Even scared. Something might go wrong. An hour was a long time to leave anything to chance, with something of this magnitude. But too brief to let it go to waste. Everyone heard where she stood on the matter. Act now, think about the consequences later. Whatever they couldn't handle, she'd be there to fill in till they got the hang of it. Just don't let the sun come up without taking this next step.
James and Lucius didn't realize how much they were avoiding looking at each other, until they did. The formalities were over. Lucius smirked. He'd gotten his stipulations after all. James conceded. His grin discreet. Well played, you pompous blond idiot. He meant that affectionately.
Harry and Draco walked in a procession that would normally have led to a limousine. But theirs led upstairs. When they could, many of the guests ran ahead of them and lined the passage to their door, as if that were helpful and not creepy at all. Excitement in their eyes said that they couldn't help it. When does life and magic ever roll out a red carpet like this? Maybe everyday, but today, everyone was unusually aware of it.
Elan stood waiting. Excitement glistened in his eyes, and said only, "I've made some changes." He stepped aside.
Inside, antique white transformed the room. It wiped the slate clean and dominated all other color schemes. Everything shimmered with silk softness, including warm chocolate browns and amber sheers that draped their canopy bed in veils. At their feet, a new cream carpet elevated the freshness of the moment to airy lightness. Everything screamed clean, safe, trust. Elan somehow put magic in layers and details. Upholstery matched the bed duvet, with hand-sewn pearls and spells of comfort woven into the details of lace. Matching lamps, strung like miniature, diamond chandeliers, threw prism light into an ambiance of candlelit charm. There was a fireplace, made of white stone, where there had never been one before. An arrangement of mammoth candles created the illusion of hearth and home.
A million other details had to go unnoticed for now. The scent of sweet almonds and caramel, a technique Elan used to trick his clients into feeling good, without their knowing why. Music piped in from realms that only knew love, played so low that their egos could not complain about it being strange to them. A silver platter full of fanciful potions and pastries, all aphrodisiacs, in case they needed help. All of this went unnoticed, next to the herculean task of noticing each other, as they entered the room. The bed was the one thing they had to look at. It was an artwork of textures and space designed to tempt someone to touch it. To run their hands along perfect silk pleats and cool expanses of fabric that stretched out like white beach sands. It promised comfort. It promised that all worry would fade away, if one only placed his head on the pillow and gave into it.
The door closed behind them, and Harry looked at the window Draco had leapt from. New curtains, dripping wedding pearls, gave it magic. And the window was fixed. If Elan could use this kind of magic, then things were returning back to normal. If they were ever going to be normal again. It was still dark outside. Thank god. He didn't know how to rush something like this.
Draco looked at the bed like a man looking over a cliff.
Harry decided to let him have whatever inner monologue he needed, and started taking off his clothes. Draco's eyebrow went up, disturbed.
"Don't mind me. I'm going to slip into that bed and just wait on you to make a move. This is up to you. If it happens, great. If it doesn't happen, that means you're not as ready as you say you are. And that's okay."
He left his undershirt and shorts on, and pretended he wasn't embarrassed at the awkwardness of it all. He got in next to the fireplace. Sheets slipped around him like an airy breeze. It felt good to get off his feet and run them over the coolness. He arranged his pillows, and left Draco standing there weighing the magnitude of it all.
They waited like that, for as long as Harry could. Draco was frozen, and he didn't know what to say to make it easier.
"Don't force yourself. Keep your clothes on and lay on the covers with me."
This should've released him from his prison, but it didn't.
"Okay, that's okay. Tell me what you're thinking." Maybe he could talk Draco down from that ledge.
Draco looked as though he had to force the words out. "I don't want to screw this up. It feels weird. Everyone's waiting on us. Everyone expects…"
"Remember what he said about 'now,' Harry reminded him. Are you going to focus on what people are thinking, or are you going to focus on what you want? This isn't about anyone outside that door. This is about your happiness, and if you're not happy with it, it ain't happening."
"That's what I'm scared of. I haven't been with anyone in so long. I'm not even attractive without my charms."
"The hell you aren't! That's crazy talk and it's forbidden in our house. If I weren't trying to impress you, I'd be guilty of some very inappropriate things by now. You looked so hot sleeping, I could've molested you right then."
Draco looked stricken.
"Too much?"
"A little."
They held each other's stare until laughter crashed through Harry's awkward confession. "Sorry. I'm not creepy, but I am a man. We think like that."
"I know we do. It's just that I haven't been on this side of it in a long time. I'm getting used to the water, so to speak."
Evidently, he felt better enough, that he sat on the bed. "Thank you for taking me back."
"Uh, I never gave you up."
"But I left you. I jumped out the window."
"I was acting like a maniac. Thought I had to prove myself, even at the risk of upsetting. I thought that's what it took."
"I almost want you to lie to me. Tell me whatever it takes to get me in that bed. I can't do it by myself. My body, it remembers. It's scared."
"Then it's not time. I'm not going to lie to you. I love you and I signed up to cherish you for the rest of my life. We're married. I want you. I want a kid with you. I'm ready to go. If you need more time, we'll take the scenic route. I'll drive, you relax. We can have a kid later."
Draco glared. He snapped out of his indecision and started unfastening his pants. "Are you going to be so fucking nice forever? Time for a shower, would've been considerate. Cleaning charms don't relax the muscles. I'm doing this, Potter. But you don't have to act like I'm that fragile. I am, but don't throw it back in my face."
"Okay."
Draco stepped out of his pants as if his thighs were obscene, and used his shirt to hide as much skin from Harry as possible before tearing back the sheets and dashing in. "Just get it over with."
He lay back, closed his eyes and waited. "I know that's not romantic, but we can do that later. Right now, I need you to just make it happen because I can't. We must be down to forty minutes. I'm too nervous. I'm too unattractive. I-"
Harry's kiss stopped him. He broke like a wave against its gentleness. Oh no, not the tears. Not again. But it felt so good and told him what an idiot he was for being scared of his husband. For being angry with himself, and for getting everything wrong. The fear was always worse than the real thing.
Harry's kiss said, when would he ever learn that? Right now, he feared that nothing about himself was good enough to take what Harry wanted to give him. He'd behaved too badly. He'd caused too much trouble to Harry's whole family. But this man, slipping inside his mouth, assured him that not only was he good enough, he was everything. The world wasn't out there, outside their home. It was in here. Everything that mattered, could be tasted in the kiss he sucked from Draco. If there was something wrong, Harry's body didn't know it.
His weight felt delicious. This must be what swaddled infants feel like. Secure, pinned, protected in the arms of someone stronger. Draco felt the threat of his withdrawal, frowning at the air that took Harry's place. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to leave that velvet darkness, and told Harry, "More."
It helped. Harry was good at it. Thank god he knew what he was doing. He moved over Draco's body and carefully distributed his weight. Draco's breath lifted him and deposited him deeper in the slope of his chest. His heart pounded against Harry's. His midriff cushioned him, and movements above him pushed so much up through the striations of his core, extracting years of hidden emotions, and grinding them out of him. Harry felt good in all the right places.
He didn't startle, when he expected to, at what filled the gap between their bodies. It swelled, familiar, and non-threatening between their clothes. It was such a part something denied to Draco, that he used the ache it inspired to let Harry know he wanted more. He ground up as Harry ground down. Between them, all the right chemicals released. Tension faded. The world became a better place. When Harry's hands moved beneath his shirt, his breath caught, but he didn't protest. He only hoped they had enough time. "Hurry."
Gentle laughter. "We can't hurry this."
"Hurry, while it feels this good."
He was still scared he'd start thinking and couldn't stop. He'd find something to worry him. After five years of constant vigilance against this, there was bound to be alarms going off, lying to him about failing and falling for another man.
"I'm serious. Hurry. I think I'm going to have a panic attack if you don't."
Harry pulled away, looking down at him. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I need you to be your annoying, pushy self. I'm too damaged to give you this incredible wedding night. That's not going to happen for a while. But I honest to god need you inside of me. Push me. Make me forget myself. While I'm ready. Take control. Before the insecurities take over. Please. I need you to. I've played it safe for so long. I don't want to be scared to let myself have this anymore. I'm telling you, I was never a saint in bed. Fuck me out of my mind. I give you permission. If I fight you, it's just nerves. Don't give me a chance to, and don't hold back."
"I can't help but think there are men in prison, who've heard something similar."
When Draco's eyes flew open, he hurried and kissed them closed again. "I didn't mean it. You have to stop me if it hurts. Promise me, okay?"
"We're losing time. We'll learn to please each other as we go. Foreplay can come later."
"Shhh… "
It took a lot more kisses to get Draco to shut up. Harry tricked him by adding pressure to the workover he steamrolled into Draco. He discarded all unnecessary layers between them, leaving their shirts, and made Draco think the plunge was going to come any moment. He used that time to make sure the other was thoroughly drenched in readiness. Shallow breath told him how much Draco was forgetting himself. Their touching erections, told him how willing he was. Every time he tried to touch that beautiful thing, rolling into his gut and driving him mad, Draco moved his hand away. He bided his time.
When they were both swollen to dangerous leakage levels, and drunk on the chemicals of kissing, he committed. Driving forward, he understood that the body beneath him had different capabilities and different needs. Tissue, squeezing around him, with just enough pinch to grip the tender skin of his cock, released its own natural oils and sterilizing enzymes. Draco's body was an ingenious work of art, as well as an intelligent machine. It pulled him in with welcome, even as different groups of muscles restricted his pace.
Draco's panting and moans stopped, interrupted long enough to make sure he survived what was filling him. He didn't protest, but he did tremble and grip Harry through the challenge of it. He had to be reminded to breathe. Once they were past the hard part, Harry plunged in earnest, and Draco had to be held to the sheets.
If this was a necessary thing, done only to get a child, then it was a bonus that it connected him with who he really was again. His climbing pleasure said that it was about much more than that. It was about giving himself permission to live again. To feel, running his emotions wide open, in the safety of a man's company. And not just any man. His husband. He held on, and met every thrust with as much appreciation as he could. He savored the strength that was almost too much for him. He forgot about the time, and their families. Harry drove him, flooring it, speeding them down a road without limits. He went, a hostage to velocity. When they crashed, they crashed together. The way it threw his body, he had to know what an orgasm really was. It was pleasure at its most violent. Even the mildest vanilla crests, were caused by eruptions deep inside the earth. His gut locked beneath Harry and didn't let go, until he opened his eyes to the sunrise.